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Search Ned Martin’s Amused
Ned Martin’s Amused Pages
- Animals, Cats, DogsCats And Dogs
- As seen in a dog’s diary…
- Animals, Horses, Imagery, Knights, Monty Python, Riding, TvCouldn’t Find My Coconut Shells.
- Was gonna ride to work today. Couldn’t find my coconut shells.
- Cold, Flu, Illness, Imagery, Man Flu, SexistMan Flu
- The difference between men & women when they are sick.
- Great Expectations, ImageryGreat Expectations
- Who hurt you? My own expectations.
- Animals, Art, Bananas, Carving, Food, Horses, ImageryBanana Carving
- Banana Carving.
- RisquéTemptation
- Temptation, by a soon to be married man.
- Blonde, SexistA Young Brunette Goes To The Doctor...
- A young brunette goes to the doctor…
- ImageryPolice Station Toilet Stolen
- Police Station Toilet Stolen… Cops have nothing to go on.
- RisquéMickey Mouse
- One day, Mickey Mouse decided that he wanted a divorce…
- Imagery, TattoosFree Tattoo Removal
- Free (and perhaps painful) tattoo removal.
- Babies, Imagery, PregnancyHow Babies Are Made
- How babies are made (with an air pump).
- Geeky, Imagery, RomanceRoses Are #FF0000
- Roses are #FF0000, Violets are #0000FF.
- Al Qaeda, Bin Laden, Imagery, Political, TerrorismI Usually Get 9/11
- I don’t always get rated on my terrorism attacks, but when I do, I usually get 9/11.
- Geeky, Imagery, Scientific, UniversityHow People In Science See Each Other
- How People in Science See Each Other.
- Animals, Imagery, RacoonsOh… Hi… Umm… Meow?
- Oh… hi… Umm… meow?
- Horror MoviesIf You Are Lonely, Dim All Lights
- If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you’re alone anymore.
- Imagery, Jokes, ScrabbleScrabble Jokes
- I accidentally swallowed some scrabble tiles… My next dump could spell disaster.
- Dyslexia, Imagery, Sex, Shirts, TshirtsI Have Sex Daily
- I have sex daily! I mean dyslexia! Fcuk.
- ☺Dear Thigh Fat
- Help the needy?
- Corporate, Geeky, ImageryPatent Infringement
- Eating Fruit…
- Cameras, Cannons, Imagery, NikonI Have A Cannon
- You have a Nikon? I have a Cannon.
- Beer, SexistA Beer Before It Starts
- A man came home from work, sat down in his favourite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, “Quick, bring me a beer before it starts”…
- Doctors, HospitalsFinding Information In Hospital
- A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph’s Hospital…
- George Bush, Imagery, Iran, Political, Weapons Of Mass Destruction, WmdI Can’t Believe The “WMD” Trick Is Working Again With Iran
- I can’t believe the “WMD” trick is working again with Iran. Suckers…
- Animals, Crocodiles, Crocs, ImageryMother Croc
- Look how instinctively the mother croc carries the baby in its mouth.
- Animals, Djs, Fishing, Imagery, MusicDrop The Bass
- Can’t go fishing, ‘cause I always drop the bass…
- Babies, Court, Imagery, Jail, Judges3 Years In Jail For Stealing My Nose
- 3 years in jail for stealing my nose!
- Imagery, Men, SexistMen Have Feelings Too!
- Men have feelings too! For example, we feel hungry.
- Australia, Condoms, New Zealand, Racist, RisquéAustralian Condoms
- New Zealand runs out of condoms…
- Imagery, PinterestIf You Like It Then You Shoulda Put A Pin On It
- If you like it then you shoulda put a pin on it!
- Animals, Animated, Hamsters, ImageryHamster Flying
- How to make your hamster fly…
- Aeroplanes, Aircraft, Imagery, WarRequesting Air Support
- Requesting Air Support! “Believe in yourself. You can do it!”
- Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Internet ExplorerWhat Are We? Browsers!
- What are we? Browsers! What do we want? More speed! And when do we want it? Right now!
- Imagery, Marriage, Men, WomenMarriage Secrets Of Highly Successful Couples
- Marriage secrets of highly successful couples.
- ImageryMicrophone Eyes
- Microphone Eyes.
- Animated, Imagery, MedicalRoot Canal
- Amusing animated image of root canal treatment
- GrammarI. Like. It. How. When. You. Read. This. The. Little. Voice. In. Your. Head. Takes. Pauses.
- I. Like. It. How. When. You. Read. This. The. Little. Voice. In. Your. Head. Takes. Pauses.
- Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Pie ChartsTime Breakdown Of Modern Web Design
- The breakdown of modern web design.
- Imagery, PoliticalWill Be President For Food
- Boy sitting next to sign “No Campaigning beyond This Point” holding sign “Will Be President for Food”.
- Imagery, SexistIron Man Competition
- Ironman Competition - the way it should be…
- Imagery, Jail, Logan, RacistI’m From Logan
- I killed a man. You? I’m from Logan.
- Geeky, Imagery, MeditationGeek Meditation Session
- In your mind’s browser, clear your cache… now delete your history… now navigate to a blank web page…
- Cars, Computer Games, ImageryLegend Of Zelda
- A legend… of Zelda.
- Imagery, RelationshipsA Woman Hid Under The Bed
- To see her husband’s reaction, a woman wrote on a paper: “I left, I’m not coming back.” Hidden under the bed, the woman waited for her husband to arrive. He walked into the room, saw the paper, wrote something on the paper, and put himself to sing, all satisfied. 5 minutes later, he took his cell phone and called someone: “I’m going now. The other nut’s gone. I’m on my way, remember I love you so much” He took the car and left. Mad in anger, the woman comes out under the bed and reads what he wrote… “I can see your feet. I went for bread. Stop being retarded and make dinner…”
- Animals, Cats, Glasses, ImageryBut These Are For Girls
- But these are for girls… Holy Crap! I look fabulous!
- Animals, Chickens, Eggs, Imagery, SignsBoneless Chicken
- Boneless Chicken
- Biology, Imagery, MathBiology, Multiplication And Division
- Biology – the only science where multiplication and division mean the same thing…
- Stress, WorkStress Management
- A stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological texts.
- Imagery, Iphone, Phones, Romance, SmsThe Modern Day Romantic
- Goodnight my beautiful girl I’m so lucky to have you in my life. I love you so much <3
- Blonde, Imagery, SexistBlonde Geometry
- Attached is problem 3 on a geometry examination…
- Cars, Geeky, Imagery, SqlSpeed Camera Hack
- Car with SQL injection taped to the front.
- Imagery, WifiBasic Human Needs
- Basic human needs… like Wi-Fi.
- Animals, Imagery, Nuclear Power, SpidersSpider Farm
- This seems like a disaster waiting to happen…
- Animated, Flash, Geeky, ImageryL33t H4x0r R0m30 4nd Jul13t
- Tales for the L33T - ROMEO+JULIET
- Alcohol, Beer, Fitness, ImageryI Wonder What I Would Look Like With A Six Pack?
- I wonder what I would look like with a six pack? Ahh, much better!
- Animals, Imagery, SharksFlying Sharks
- Flying sharks… we’re screwed.
- Imagery, RisquéFingering A Minor
- Fingering A Minor for hours on my bed.
- Animals, Beds, Dinosaurs, ImageryT-Rex Making A Bed
- When you’re upset just imagine a T-Rex making a bed.
- New Zealand, RacistKiwi Air Disaster
- New Zealand’s worst air disaster occurred earlier today…
- Food, Imagery, Microwaves, ScienceNo Science In This Microwave
- Food only. Absolutely no science in this microwave.
- Babies, Imagery, Kanye West, Kim Kardashian, Phones, Sms, Taylor Swift, TwitterYo I’m Happy For You And Imma Let You Finish But…
- [Twitter] Taylor Swift: @KimKardashian @kanyewest Yo I’m happy for you and imma let you finish but Beyonce had one of the best labours of all time.
- Imagery, LoveThis Summarises My Love Life
- This summarises my love life. I’m the guy in blue…
- Animals, Cars, Driving, Imagery, KoalasDon’t Worry I’m Koalafied To Drive
- Don’t worry I’m Koalafied to drive.
- Animals, Camels, Children, Donkeys, ImageryYour Child Is Being Eaten By A Camel
- Your child is being eaten by a camel. Do you… a) Save your child, or b) Take a photo?
- ImageryFight Apathy
- …or don’t.
- Australia, Games, Imagery, MonopolyAustralian Monopoly
- Australian Monopoly: St Marys to Penrith Special Edition.
- Clippit, Imagery, Microsoft, Office, Paperclips, WorkIt Looks Like You Are Wasting Office Supplies. Would You Like Some Help?
- Clippit: It looks like you are wasting office supplies. Would you like some help?
- America, Calendars, Imagery, Mayans, Obama, Political, PredictionsThe Mystery Of The Mayan Calendar Revealed
- At last, the mystery of the Mayan calendar revealed.
- Bathrooms, Imagery, SignsYou Look Fine
- Instead of a mirror, a sign “you look fine”.
- Australia, Football, Imagery, Muslim, Racist, SportWell, I Guess We’ll Beheading Home Now
- Well, I guess we’ll beheading home now…
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryAchilles’ Heel
- You got a dog?! Yup! His name is Achilles…
- Animals, Cats, ImageryI’m Glad You’re Up
- I’ve put all of your folded shirts on the floor for you.
- Geeky, ImageryVoice
- Scrooge and Donald on IRC.
- Animated, Coffee, ImageryAnimated Coffee
- Coffee with emotion.
- Animals, Imagery, Internet, RabbitsStop Surfing The Internet And Just Go To Bed
- Holy crap! Look how late it is! Why do I always do this? Why is it so hard to stop surfing the internet and just go to bed?
- Harry Potter, Imagery, Magic, Risqué, WandsReplace The Word “wand” With “dick” In Any Sentence In Harry Potter
- Replace the word “wand” with “dick” in any sentence in Harry Potter…
- Imagery, Self-help, SexSex Maniac
- Dear Dr Ruth, I’m writing to tell you my problem. It seems I have been married to a sex maniac for the past 22 years…
- Asian, Imagery, Iphone, Racist, RiceIf Your Phone Gets Wet, Try Placing It In A Bag Of Rice
- If your phone gets wet, try placing it in a bag of rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you.
- Imagery, SmsBack From The Dead
- Woo, it’s me! Back from the dead!
- Animals, Bugs, Flies, Imagery, Joke, MitesHey, Bug On My Back…
- Hey, bug on my back, are you a mite? I mite be. Stupidest pun I ever heard…
- Food, ImageryBreakfast Alive
- What happens if you wait too long before eating your breakfast?
- Balls, Illusion, ImageryAll The Balls Are The Same Colour!
- All the balls are the same colour — and that colour is brown
- Campbell Newman, Imagery, Political, QueenslandCampbell Newman: Public Service: You Can Trust Me
- [Campbell Newman laughing] …and then I said to the public service… you can trust me…
- Animated, Geeky, Imagery, PhotoshopAdobe Photoshop CS6 Has Stopped Working
- The realest photography struggle ever…
- Darth Vader, Imagery, Kristen StewartMore Expressions Than Kristen Stewart
- Still more expressions than Kristen Stewart.
- Aboriginal, Australia, RacistAboriginal Eggs
- Two Aboriginal lads are riding along the Hume Highway on a motorbike…
- SexistMen Vs. Women
- Men versus women…
- ☺Talking Clock
- Why, that’s my Talking Clock…
- Imagery, Political, Snowden, Spying, WikileaksEdward Snowden Buys A Plane Ticket From Moscow To Havana…
- Snowden buys a plane ticket from Moscow to Havana. Over 30 journalists pay last-minute airfare for a ticket on the same flight. The doors shut, the plane takes off, and [Edward] Snowden is not on the plane. It’s a 16-hour flight.
- Animals, Australia, Dangerous, ImageryDangerous Australia
- It’s no wonder we all live here…
- Animals, Bunnies, Imagery, RabbitsEmo Bunny
- Emo bunny: No one ever understands him
- Computers, Evolution, ImagerySomething Went Terribly Wrong
- Something, somewhere went terribly wrong.
- Alcohol, ImagerySlimming Drink
- You look so much better after a glass or two!
- Imagery, Math, SchoolI’ll Just Be A Stripper.
- Screw this: I’ll just be a stripper.
- Android, Galaxy Note, Imagery, Phones, Samsung, TechnologyBattery Fully Charged. Unplug Charger.
- In what is perhaps one of the more stupid “features” on my Samsung Galaxy Note, when it reaches full charge, it lights up its screen and pops up and audible alert saying “Battery fully charged. Unplug charger.” As I charge my phone at night, it is effectively an extremely annoying unwanted wake-up call.
- ImageryLow Battery Warning
- Plug in or find another power source. Or panic now!
- Australia, France, Imagery, Racist, RisquéAustralian Kiss
- Australian Kiss: same as a French Kiss… but down under.
- Imagery, Tools, Work, ZombiesIn Case Of Zombies
- In case of zombies… or yard work…
- Animals, Cats, Geeky, ImagerySchrödinger’s Cat
- Wanted: Dead & Alive…
- Food, Imagery, RisquéCarrot Love
- When carrots get kinky…
- Animals, Imagery, SpidersLet’s All Take A Moment And Be Thankful That Spiders Don’t Fly.
- Let’s all take a moment and be thankful that spiders don’t fly!
- Illusion, ImageryFour Perfectly Round Circles
- Four Perfectly Round Circles.
- Animals, Imagery, PigsBacon Seed
- Bacon seed.
- ImageryAlzheimer’s
- “I may have alzheimer’s, but at least I don’t have alzheimer’s”
- Animals, Imagery, RisquéHow To Eat Pussy…
- How to eat pussy…
- Imagery, Risqué, Tape Measures, ToolsBreakdown Of A Man’s Tape Measure Usage
- Breakdown of a man’s tape measure usage
- Dinosaurs, Imagery, Political, SpyingIf You’re Not Doing Anything Wrong, You Shouldn’t Have Anything To Hide
- The government says “If you’re not doing anything wrong, you shouldn’t have anything to hide.” If that is true, shouldn’t the government declassify everything?
- Driving, Sexist, WomenDamn Women Drivers
- This morning on the freeway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Cadillac doing 110…
- Apple, Computers, Imagery, Phones, Religious, Steve JobsI Have An APP For That!
- Steve Jobs, 1955 – 2011.
- Animals, Dogs, Drugs, High, ImageryDog, How High Are You?
- Dog, how high are you? Yes.
- Animals, Fish, Girls, ImagerySaved A Fish From Drowning
- Here is a heart warming picture of a little girl that saved a fish from drowning.
- Animals, JokePygmy Dinosaur Hunter
- The Pygmy Dinosaur Hunter…
- Cars, ImageryThe Park Anywhere Button
- Self-explanatory really.
- Australia, Doctors, Imagery, SpidersAustralian Spider Bite
- That spider bit me… am I going to become spiderman? No. This is Australia, you’re going to die.
- Clowns, Imagery, Risqué, Sex, WomenShe Made That Clown Extremely Happy
- She made that clown extremely happy.
- Imagery, ShopsBall-type Deodorant
- Her: Is it the ball-type deodorant you want sir? Him: Oh no miss – it’s for under my arms!
- Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery, TechnologyCombo Hit: Streetfighter Style
- Combo Hit: Streetfighter Style
- PoliticalAbbott And Costello Go To Washington
- Abbott And Costello Go To Washington.
- ImageryTechnically Correct
- …but still wrong.
- Boobs, Cars, Imagery, Risqué, SexistShe Might Scratch The Paint
- I know what you’re thinking… she might scratch the paint.
- Imagery, JokeHow Many Alzheimer’s Patients Does It Take?
- To get to the other side!
- Imagery, MusicI’m Not Just Another Brick In The Wall
- We don’t need no education…
- Imagery, RacistYou Must Be A Racist
- Oh, you were expecting a white guy?
- Imagery, Risqué, SignsPlease Use Finger
- Pen is broken - please use finger.
- Animals, Birds, Imagery, Mirrors, ParrotsTap That
- I’d tap that!
- Imagery, MathSeven Ate Nine
- Six, Seven, Ate, Nine…
- Drugs, Imagery, Marijuana, SexistI Tried Pot Once. Now I’m Gay!
- I tried pot once. Now I’m gay!
- SexistA Love Story With A Happy Ending
- Once upon a time, a bloke asked a girl “Will you marry me?”
- Buildings, Jokes, Physicists, PunsA Physicist Sees A Young Man About To Jump Off The Empire State Building
- A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building…
- Food, ImageryThrowing People
- A tomato’s fear.
- Animals, Imagery, OctopusesDrunk Octopus Wants To Fight
- Drunk Octopus Wants to Fight…
- Cars, ImageryPolished My Car Too Much
- Polished my car too much, now it’s invisible…
- Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, Microsoft OfficeMicrosoft Office Suite Pass Key
- Does anyone have an extra Microsoft Office suite pass key?
- Dogs, ImageryMy Dog Bailey Tried To Steal Stuff Out Of My Daughter’s Purse.
- My dog Bailey tried to steal stuff out of my daughter’s purse. He got stuck and came over to me for help.
- CatsHappy Pussy
- A collection of amusing cat pictures.
- Boobs, Imagery, Sexist, WomenI Wish These Were Brains
- Sexist, but contains breasts…
- Imagery, Shirts, TshirtsAttention Deficit Disorder
- Ask me about my attention deficit disorder or pie or my cat. A dog. I have a bike. Do you like TV? I saw a rock. Hi.
- Advertising, Boobs, Imagery, Sexist, VintageSabrina Projects
- Sabrina demonstrates the world’s finest projection equipment…
- Geeky, ImageryOhm
- …ohm.
- Feminists, Imagery, Lightbulbs, Sexist, WomenHow Many Feminists Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?
- How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Don’t be silly, feminists can’t change anything!
- Children, Imagery, PaintChildren Painting
- Two children, half a room and a TV covered in white paint.
- Bananas, Food, George Bush, ImageryThis Banana Tastes Funny
- “This banana tastes funny” – George Bush.
- America, Animals, Australia, Birds, Eagles, Imagery, RacistAmerican Bald Eagle Vs Australian Wedge Tail Eagle
- American Bald Eagle vs. Australian Wedge Tail Eagle.
- Illusion, ImageryCrazy Sphere
- A crazy sphere
- Bikes, Geeky, It, SexistAn IT Student Is Walking Along With His Bike…
- An IT student is walking along with his bike…
- Geeky, SexistDear Tech Support
- Girlfriend technical support…
- Imagery, Ocd, ShirtsI Have CDO. It’s Like OCD But All The Letters Are In Alphabetical Order.
- I have CDO. It’s like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order. As they should be.
- Bananas, Food, Imagery, PhonesBanana Phone
- It’s a banana phone…
- Guns, ImageryCrayon Gun
- A fantastic gun made from many every-day items.
- Africa, Animals, Cars, Elephants, ImageryYou Know You Are Having A Bad Day When…
- You know you are having a bad day when…
- Dinosaurs, Imagery, MuseumsTrannysaurus
- Trannysaurus: You’re fired.
- Animated, Australia, Imagery, Internet, Political, TelstraBuilding The NBN From Telstra Copper
- Building the NBN from Telstra Copper
- Bananas, Carving, Food, Guns, Imagery, WeaponsBanana Gun
- Banana gun…
- Imagery, ToiletsPeeing: Expert Mode
- Peeing: Expert Mode
- Fonts, Imagery, TypographyBe Bold
- Be bold or italic. Never regular.
- Facebook, ImageryFacebook Illusion
- Facebook: Providing the illusion you have friends since 2004!
- Imagery, Risqué, SignsNo Public Motor Boating Permitted
- No public motor boating permitted.
- Animated, ImagerySpiderman
- If Spiderman was a gay night-clubber…
- ImagerySimple Eye Examination Test
- A simple eye examination chart.
- Australia, Democracy, Political, RacistThe Ant And The Grasshopper
- The Original Story of the Ant and the Grasshopper.
- Bananas, Food, Imagery, SausagesBanana Sausage
- Banana sausage…
- Bread, Food, Imagery, TonguesPlease Use Tongue.
- Do not touch bread with hands. Please use tongue.
- Computers, ImageryChecking On A Slow Progress Bar
- Checking on a slow progress bar.
- Books, Imagery, Sexist“Understanding Women” Now Available In Paperback
- The book “Understanding Women” is now available in paperback!
- Fire, Fire Extinguishers, ImageryFire Extinguisher Fire
- Fire Extinguisher Fire: What do you do now?
- Animals, Giraffes, ImageryLet’s Get You Home Buddy
- Two giraffe having problems getting home.
- Geeky, Imagery, Movies, The MatrixThe Matrix
- What is The Matrix?
- Bottles, Imagery, Messages, UsbModern Day Message In A Bottle
- A USB stick in a bottle lying on the beach.
- ImageryEmoticons
- Lots of emoticons…
- Earth, ImageryHeld Hands Around The Equator
- If the human population held hands around the equator, a significant portion of them would drown.
- Imagery, Livestream, Nature, TechnologyLive Stream
- Can I call you back? I’m watching a live stream…
- Imagery, RisquéAdult Dog Store
- A dog carries an inflatable leg from an Adult Dog Store.
- Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, VintageDormeyer Crying Wives
- Wives: Look this ad over carefully. Circle the items you want for Christmas. Show it to your husband. If he does not go to the store immediately, cry a little…
- Redheads, SexistRedheads
- How do you get a redhead…
- Food, Imagery, Pasta, TrucksPasta Truck
- A pasta truck, or a very large pasta.
- ImageryI’m So Sick Of Not Being Understood!
- I’m so sick of not being understood! What do you mean?
- Animals, Cars, Cows, Drunk, ImageryDrunk Cows
- Drunk Cows: Bruce you are drunk.
- Imagery**** I Forgot To Turn Off The Oven
- **** I forgot to turn off the oven.
- Australia, PoliticalPsalm 2009 – 2012
- The First Book of Government.
- Imagery, MathImaginary Friend
- Aww, how cute. He has an imaginary friend!
- Animals, Geeky, Imagery, Math, SnakesSnakes On A Plane
- Snakes on a plane.
- Animals, Cats, Imagery, MetallicaMettalicat
- Mettalicat: Sleeps with one eye open, gripping his pillow tight.
- Animals, Cows, Horses, ImageryThis Guy’s An Idiot! Quick, Take A Picture!
- This guy’s an idiot! Quick, take a picture!
- Apple, Boobs, Fashion, Imagery, Ios, Risqué, ShirtsSlide To Unlock
- A woman wearing a shirt: Slide to Unlock.
- Blonde, SexistBlonde Betting
- A very attractive blonde woman arrived at a Vegas casino…
- Accidents, Buses, Cars, Imagery, InsuranceDon’t You Suggest To Me What To Do
- If you don’t have GIO Third Party Property Insurance, we suggest you don’t hit this bus.
- ☺A Middle-aged Woman Decides To Have A Facelift…
- A middle-aged woman decides to have a facelift…
- Animals, Computer Games, Computers, Imagery, SpidersBravery
- …in the face of spiders.
- Cars, Imagery, MessagesThe 710 Cap
- Hun I have a problem in my car…
- ImagerySuper Batman
- The Super Batman back pack, exclusive from China!
- Animals, Irish, RacistIrish Pets
- Two Irish men walk into a pet shop…
- Risqué, SexistThe Perfect Password
- A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, the computer advised him that he would now need to enter a password…
- Chat, Imagery, InternetChat Rooms
- Chat Rooms – you never really know.
- Cake, Ikea, ImageryHappy 25th Birthday IKEA!
- Happy 25th Birthday IKEA! Here’s your cake
- SexistWinter Classes For Men
- Winter Classes for Men at the Learning Centre for Adults
- ImageryKermit Sees The Doctor
- Have a seat Kermit. What I’m about to tell you might come as a big shock…
- Germany, LoveTell Someone You Love Them Today
- Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying and confusing.
- Accidents, Cars, Imagery, Seatbelts, SexistNew Seatbelt Design: 45% Less Car Accidents!
- A man driving a car while a woman sits beside him, with her seatbelt across her mouth, preventing her from commenting.
- America, Imagery, Political, SpyingMy Computer Hard Drive Crashed. NSA Won’t Send Me Their Backup Copy.
- My computer hard drive crashed. NSA won’t send me their backup copy.
- Imagery, Jobs, WorkHonesty: Your Greatest Weakness
- Interviewer: What would you consider to be your greatest weakness?
- Imagery, Newspapers, TechnologyAll This Technology Is Making Us Antisocial
- All this technology is making us antisocial: A tram full of people ignoring each other and reading the newspaper.
- Geeky, ImageryDied
- …from not forwarding that text message to 10 people.
- Animals, Cats, Imagery, LionsA Cat With A Lion’s Mane Hat
- A cat with a lion’s mane hat.
- Illusion, ImageryMoving Illusion
- A psychedelic illusion where a brightly coloured non-moving image appears to be pulsating in and out.
- Australia, History, RacistA Brief History Of Australia
- Australia was founded in 1901 by Jimmy “Crocodile” Austral, a deportee of England who was banished for cannibalism, having eaten 32 members of the House of Lords. In accordance with English colonial law, this entitled him to an entire already-inhabited continent.
- Joke, RisquéJam And Butter The Muddy Plasters, The Dirty Bucket Of Pitch!
- Jam and butter the muddy plasters, the dirty bucket of pitch!
- Australia, Brisbane, Computer Games, Explosions, Guns, Imagery, PoliceBrisbane, GTA Style
- Queen Street Mall, Brisbane, GTA Style.
- ☺How To Make Sure You’re A Normal Person
- A quick and easy test to determine if you are a normal person…
- ImagerySense
- …this picture makes none.
- Computers, ImageryAlready Exists
- skdjaskdhsajdahsdjashds.jpg already exists. Do you want to replace it? You've got to be kidding me.
- ☺Notice
- Notice is hereby given…
- Children, Parenting, SportChild Beating
- A seven year old boy was at the centre of a courtroom drama…
- Computers, GeekyRandom Number
- A simple function to return a random number.
- Imagery, Monday, Punch, WorkThe Monday Punch
- The Monday Punch: A man punched in the face.
- Crime, Police, ShootingThe Floor Is Still Wet
- I have an interesting case here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped…
- Asian, Facebook, Imagery, RacistHumans Of Sunnybank
- In Asia culture, it’s important for wife to trust husband and let him be the leader in the house. That’s why after I am married, I will always leave big decision to him – for example, choosing between buy me a Chanel for birthday or go sleep on sofa for a whole month instead.
- Imagery, WifiWireless Networks
- Wireless networks could save your life!
- Boats, Imagery, IslandsBoat! Land!
- Boat! Land!
- Imagery, Posters, ScienceLost Wormhole
- Do not attempt capture because you’ll totally screw with the space/time continuum bro.
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryI Forgot How To Dog
- I forgot how to dog
- Animals, Gorillas, Imagery, King Kong, Mobiles, Phones, VodafoneNo Signal
- The “Vodafone Effect”.
- Animals, Cupcakes, Food, Imagery, LemursA Lemur Who Has Discovered The Wondrousness Of Cupcakes For The Fist Time.
- A lemur who has discovered the wondrousness of cupcakes for the fist time.
- Facebook, InternetFacebook Farm
- A dying granny tells her granddaughter, “I want to leave you my farm…
- Animals, ImageryCat Legs
- There really isn’t much else to say about this.
- Children, Families, Imagery, Parenting, SchoolWhen I Grow Up… I Want To Be Like Mommy!
- I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer…
- Risqué, Sexist, ViagraDealing With Hunger Pangs
- A woman asks her partner at breakfast time, “Would you like some bacon and eggs a slice of toast and, maybe, some grapefruit juice and coffee?”
- ☺Disclaimer, Copyright & Contact Information
- Feel free to send me anything you think might amuse me.
- ImageryLegoland Will Never Be The Same...
- Legoland will never be the same…
- Advertising, Imagery, Rice, Risqué, Sexist, VintageVa-Rice-Ity: My Man Likes Something Unexpected…
- My man likes something unexpected now and then. That’s why I serve him rice.
- ☺Perfect Existence
- Perfect Existence: The Proof
- Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, MsnMSN Shuts Down
- We reminisce about “the good old days” of MSN…
- Imagery, Ipad, IphoneFree IPhone To IPad Upgrade
- Free iPhone to iPad Upgrade
- Apple, Bill Gates, Computers, Heaven, Imagery, Microsoft, Phones, Religious, Steve Jobs, WindowsSteve Jobs & Bill Gates Discuss Heaven
- Steve Jobs & Bill Gates Discuss Heaven: It doesn’t have any wall or fence…
- ImagerySound Thug
- Sound Thug
- Geeky, InternetGoogle
- Try Google. Available in six of the world’s most common languages…
- Animals, Beaches, Imagery, Signs, Stingrays, WarningsShuffle Your Feet For Stingrays
- Shuffle your feet for Stingrays: One of the many dangers in Australian waters.
- Imagery, ScissorsI Run With Scissors
- I run with scissors: It makes me feel dangerous.
- Imagery, Sexist, TalkingWomen Use About 30,000 Words A Day
- Did you know that women use about 30,000 words a day while men use only 15,000?
- Evolution, Imagery, SexistThe Evolution Of Man And Woman
- The Evolution of Man & Woman…
- JokeExercise - Some Facts
- Exercise… some facts.
- Animals, Bikes, Frogs, Imagery, Kermit The FrogWrong Way
- Wrong Way
- Children, Parenting, SchoolLetter To A Mother / School Report
- It is with great happiness that I’m telling you that I eloped with my new boyfriend…
- Beer, Imagery, SexistYou Never Listen To Me…
- You never listen to me! You only hear what you want to hear!
- Animals, Dachshunds, Dogs, Imagery, RacingDachshund Racing
- Googled “dachshund racing”. Was not disappointed.
- ☺Out Of Breath
- Dispatcher: Emergency Services, how may I help you?
- Geeky, JokesIntellectual Jokes
- Believing this statement will make you happier.
- Animals, Australia, Birds, Dingoes, Dolphins, Fish, Galahs, Imagery, Kangaroos, Koalas, Kookaburras, Parrots, Penguins, Snakes, Toads, TurtlesAccurate Animal Names: Australian Edition
- Accurate Animal Names: Australian Edition
- Alcohol, ImageryAlcohol Research
- Bum holding sign “Need Cash for Alcohol Research”.
- Animals, Birds, Imagery, SeagullsSomebody Come Look At This
- Somebody Come Look at This
- Cars, SexistHow To Change Your Oil
- How to Change your Oil: A guide for men & women…
- ImageryFingers Move
- I think you’re spending too much time on the computer. Your fingers move when you talk…
- Coffee, Hipsters, Imagery, SignsHow Did The Hipster Burn His Tongue?
- How did the hipster burn his tongue? He sipped on his coffee before it was cool.
- Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, Lotr, PizzaBrace Yourself. Pizza Is Coming.
- Brace Yourself. Pizza is coming.
- Actors, Famous People, Imagery, Movie Stars, Robert De NiroRobert De Niro, De Faro
- First Robert De Niro, then Robert De Faro.
- Facebook, Imagery, RisquéFacebook Sex
- Taking status updates too far.
- ImageryVegetative State
- Vegetative State.
- Cats, Comics, ImageryPop Out Of Bed
- If people were meant to pop out of bed we’d all sleep in toasters.
- Accidents, Cars, ImagerySorry: A Bus Accident
- Sorry: A Bus Accident
- Australia, Chairs, Disaster, Earthquake, Imagery, MelbourneThe 2012 Melbourne Earthquake
- The 2012 Melbourne Earthquake: We will rebuild.
- ☺Idiots
- Idiots everywhere…
- RacistFerrari Sack Pit Crew
- The Ferrari Formula 1 Team fired their entire pit crew yesterday…
- Girls, Imagery, Moon, Photography, Sexist, Space, WomenWent To The Moon, Took 5 Photos. Went To The Bathroom, Took 37 Photos.
- Went to the moon, took 5 photos. Went to the bathroom, took 37 photos.
- Balloons, Hot Air Balloons, ImageryHot Air Balloons
- Hot Air Balloons - Boring 99% of the time.
- Animals, Horses, Imagery, SeahorsesSeahorse
- I’m a seahorse. Your argument is invalid.
- Animals, RisquéDoctor Bob Had Sex With One Of His Patients…
- Doctor Bob had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long…
- ImageryHard To Pay Fine
- Touching wires causes instant death…
- Coronavirus, Hands, Hand Washing, Imagery, WashingRemember To Wash Your Hands!
- My drawing is not great but please remember to wash your hands. Stay safe guys!
- Guns, Imagery, ToastToast Toasts Toast?
- If guns don’t kill people, people kill people, does that mean…
- America, Capitalist, ImageryIn Capitalist America…
- Bank robs you!
- Bones, ImageryI Found This Humerus
- I found this humerus.
- Advertising, Feminine Hygiene, Imagery, Risqué, Sexist, Tampons, VintageThe Girls Are Talking About Tampons
- The Blonde: It’s invisible sanitary protection, thank heavens…
- Imagery, RisquéJelly Orgy
- A jelly orgy.
- Animals, Cats, ImageryDid You Try Jumping Off The Refrigerator Too?
- Did you try jumping off the refrigerator too?
- Imagery, Risqué, SexistGrow Some Balls
- Why do people say ‘grow some balls’?
- Africa, Animals, Bikes, ImageryUpsetting The Food Chain
- A zebra on a motorbike…
- ImageryBest Way To Freak Out Your Friends
- Best way to freak out your friends: Do not open unless you plan to kill it (written on an upside down container)
- Illusion, ImageryIllogical Lego
- Illogical Lego.
- Cpr, First Aid, Imagery, SchoolCPR Diagram
- You’re next!
- Blonde, Cars, SexistBlondeStar
- What to do when you’re locked inside your car, and the keys are outside…
- Animals, Crocodiles, ImageryCrocodile Lion
- An interesting dinnertime story…
- Business Cards, ImageryYou Have A Nice… Business Card
- A business card: “You have a nice… {day, ass, attitude}.
- ImageryCockroach Cancer
- Please, don’t throw your cigarette butts on the floor…
- Imagery, Topgear, TvIs There Anything Worse Than A Lego For Stepping On In The Middle Of The Night?
- Is there anything worse than a Lego for stepping on in the middle of the night? A landmine.
- Balloons, Cars, ImageryMissile Balloons
- Missile Balloons.
- Apple, Apples, Computers, Food, Imagery, Laptops, TechnologyMake Your Own Apple Laptop
- Make your own Apple laptop the cheap—and healthy—way!
- English, GrammarEnglish
- Let’s face it - English is a crazy language.
- Animals, Bananas, Dogs, Food, ImageryBanana Dogs
- Banana Dogs.
- Art, Imagery, Michelangelo, Paintings, Reenactment, Sistine ChapelMichelangelo: The Re-enactment
- A re-enactment of Michelangelo’s famous “The Creation of Adam”.
- Accidents, Imagery, Logan, Racist, WindowsLogan Repair
- Another quality repair job by Logan City Council.
- Explosions, Guns, ImageryTold Her Not To Brag About Her Barbie Dream House…
- Told her not to brag about her barbie dream house…
- Imagery, Movies, Obi-wan Kenobi, Star Wars, Terrorism, World Trade CentreThese Blast Points… Too Accurate For Sand People
- Obi-Wan Kenobi in front of burning World Trade Centre towers: “These blast points… too accurate for sand people”.
- Animals, Elephants, ImageryIt’s Just One Of Those Days
- A baby elephant falls in the mud.
- Facebook, ImageryI Think I Might Stay Home Tonight…
- I think I might stay home tonight… Liver and Wallet like this.
- Animals, Animated, Australia, Emus, Imagery, KangaroosKangaroo Kicks Boy
- A kangaroo kicks an unsuspecting boy into a dam while an emu strolls past.
- Imagery, SexistHair Dryer
- Darling, please give me the hair dryer…
- Animals, ImageryNot Allowed
- When a dog is all out of luck.
- Cars, ImageryGarage Door Covers
- Amusing garage door covers
- Imagery, RisquéToo Long
- Her: Do you want to her a joke about my vagina? Nevermind… you’ll never get it! Her: Do you want to her a joke about my vagina? Nevermind… you’ll never get it!
- Aliens, ImageryFunniest Alien Fan Art I’ve Seen
- Funniest Alien Fan Art I’ve Seen.
- Cars, Imagery, Movies, Pulp Fiction, The RockHave You Seen Pulp Fiction?
- Have you seen Pulp Fiction? Yeah, but I didn’t like it.
- Geeky, ImageryIPad Stone
- iPad versus a stone.
- Boats, Burials, Cemetries, Funerals, Imagery, SexistBoat Funeral
- A funeral procession pulled into a cemetery. Several carloads of family members followed a black truck towing a boat with a coffin in it…
- Imagery, MotivationalSomeone Out There Cares
- I want you to know that someone out there cares. Not me, but someone does.
- ☺Pages By Date
- A list of all the pages, sorted by their last updated or creation dates.
- Imagery, RisquéDon’t Fall For This
- The CIA is trying to steal my…
- Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery, SexistXBOX Girlfriend
- A real girlfriend does not complain when her boyfriend is on his xbox…
- Imagery, MilkLying About Skim Milk
- There’s only one thing I hate more than lying. Skim milk, which is water that’s lying about being milk.
- Apple, Imagery, Iphone, PhonesUpgrade Kit For IPhone 4 Owners
- Upgrade kit for iPhone 4 owners. Only 99¢.
- Imagery, Jobs, Pie Charts, Statistics, WorkChance Of Keeping Your Job If You’re Wrong More Than 75% Of The Time
- Chance of keeping your job if you’re wrong more than 75% of the time.
- Animals, ImageryJust Checking
- “Just doing a spot-check to see what you’re doing… Yup, sitting at your computer again!” The expression on this ostrich’s face is excellent.
- Buses, Bus Stops, Harry Potter, Hogwarts, ImageryBus To Hogwarts
- To get the bus to Hogwarts, please run directly at this sign.
- Geeky, History, Internet, ItHow The Internet Started: A History Lesson
- How the Internet Started: A History Lesson.
- ☺Helpful Hints
- Helpful Hints
- Homeless, SexistSledgehammer Psychology
- A business man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner…
- Children, Cleaning, Imagery, MopsStupid Child Efficiency Mop
- Stupid Child Efficiency Mop. Wipe high-efficiently.
- Imagery, Money, Monopoly, StrippersMonopoly Money For Fake Boobs
- I think it’s only fair to throw monopoly money at strippers with fake boobs.
- History, ImageryThe Most Difficult Thing To Explain To Someone From The 1950s
- If someone from the 1950s suddenly appeared today, what would be the most difficult thing to explain to them about life today?
- Animated, Fighting, Imagery, WweThrown Out Of The Ring
- Thrown out of the Ring.
- Bananas, Chris Brown, Food, Imagery, RihannaChris Brown & Rihanna Bananas
- I can’t believe she didn’t press charges. It got worse when he posted the unpeeled photos of her.
- JokeLaurel And Hardy
- Laurel and Hardy were repairing their roof. All of a sudden, Hardy lost his balance and went tumbling on the ground…
- Computer Games, Geeky, ImageryReality
- Worst game ever.
- Imagery, MoviesNeville
- Neville would have done it in four books.
- Food, Geeky, ImageryLOL For Lunch
- Ordering linguini for lunch always boosts morale.
- Imagery, RisquéThe Exact Spot My Zipper Broke
- The exact spot my zipper broke.
- C Sharp, Developers, Geeky, Imagery, Java, ProgrammersWhy Do Java Developers Wear Glasses?
- Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#!
- Animals, Cats, Dogs, JokeWoof
- How do you get a cat to bark like a dog?
- Sexist, WomenWords Women Use
- Words women use, and what they really mean.
- Animals, Elephants, Imagery, Kenya, ZoosMan & Elephant
- In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Louisiana State University…
- Charts, Computer Games, Imagery, Pacman, Pie ChartsPacman Pie Chart
- The Pacman pie chart.
- Imagery, Movie Posters, PiranhasPiranhas On An Escalator
- If I were you, I’d take the stairs…
- Australia, Bank Notes, Banks, Imagery, Money, PoliticalAustralian Bank Notes
- Australian Bank Notes.
- ImageryBird Flu
- I’m not worried about this bird flu…
- Religious, Risqué, WorkCorporate Lessons
- Corporate lessons.
- Imagery, UniversityUniversity Website
- Things on the front page of a university website.
- Hands, Imagery, Risqué, Valentine’s DayValentine Hand
- Of course I’ll be your valentine. Let’s stay home and watch some porn.
- English, GrammarYour There
- They’re they are.
- Alcohol, Australia, Bob Hawke, Imagery, Oxford, PoliticalBob Hawke’s Yard Of Ale
- While at university at Oxford in 1963, Bob Hawke, former Prime Minister of Australia, entered the Guinness Book of Records here at the Turf Tavern after downing a yard of ale (that’s just over 2½ pints!) in just 11 seconds.
- Coolers, Imagery, SexistIf A Man Says He Will Fix It, He Will
- If a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months.
- Alcohol, Cooking, Imagery, WineCooking With Wine
- I tried cooking supper with wine tonight. Didn’t go so well. After 5 glasses I forgot why I was even in the kitchen.
- Imagery, SexistRealistic Remotes
- Some more useful remote controls we would like to see.
- ToysThe Horror Of Blimps
- Some blimps are better off dead…
- Animals, Cats, ImageryHello Kitty
- It’s sickeningly cute. Perhaps literally if its expression is anything to go by…
- Computers, GeekyOperating System Airlines
- Operating System Airlines.
- Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, PhonesIPhone 6: Bend It Like Beckham
- iPhone 6: Bend it like Beckham.
- PhrasesWhen Someone Yells “STOP”…
- When someone yells “STOP”, I never know if it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammertime, or I should collaborate and listen…
- Jokes, Punography, PunsPunography
- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me…
- EnglishThe Gender Neutral Term For Sugar Daddy
- The gender neutral term for sugar daddy is glucose guardian.
- Imagery, PoliticalThailand Has The Largest Mormon Population
- Did you know Thailand has the largest Mormon population in Africa?
- Birds, Imagery, WifiHe’s Got Wifi
- Three birds sitting on a wire, a fourth sitting in mid air. He's got wifi.
- Computer Games, Imagery, SexistThe Way Girls Play Computer Games
- The way girls play computer games.
- Cars, Imagery, TrucksDriver Is Fully Naked
- Driver carries less than $50 cash and is fully naked.
- Easter, Eggs, ImageryDye Job
- Check out the dye job on her? Tramp!
- Acronyms, Imagery, Iphone, PhonesIDK LY TTYL
- IDK LY TTYL: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later.
- Imagery, ToiletsWalked Into A Public Bathroom
- Walked into a public bathroom. Saw this and heard “hello?”
- Animals, Bread, Dogs, Food, ImageryI’m Inbred!
- I’m Inbred!
- Imagery, Steve IrwinDoesn’t Protect From Harmful Rays
- Puts on sunblock. Doesn’t protect from harmful rays.
- Australia, Banks, ImageryAustralian Banks
- Australian Bank Logos.
- Ballerinas, Imagery, WomenFreshly Washed Ballerinas
- Freshly washed ballerinas.
- Animals, Imagery, RisquéOld Style Birth Control
- Old Style Birth Control.
- Animals, Broomsticks, Cars, Frogs, Imagery, Parking, Princesses, WitchesAll Others Will Be Toad
- Private customer parking only. All others will be toad.
- Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryJust Being A Cat
- Dog attacks person. Put dog to sleep. Cat attacks person. LOL, jus’ bein’ a cat.
- Bmw, Cars, Imagery, WorkBrand New BMW
- The owner of the company where I work pulled up in his brand new BMW this morning…
- Imagery, Masturbation, RisquéI’m Starting To Think My Husband Masturbates
- I’m not absolutely certain yet, but I’m starting to think my husband masturbates
- Computers, Geeky, ItStar Trek TNG Meets Microsoft
- Star Trek TNG Meets Microsoft…
- Animals, Imagery, RabbitsWhat Rabbits Do
- What rabbits do when humans go out…
- Drugs, Imagery, Meth, R2-d2, Robots, Star WarsMeth: Before & After
- Meth: Before & After (or R2-D2 versus R2-FU).
- America, Guns, RacistWhat Do You Call A Gun Enthusiast?
- You may have heard on the news about a Southern California man who was put under 72-hour psychiatric observation when it was found he owned 100 guns and allegedly had 100,000 rounds of ammunition stored in his home…
- Alligators, Animals, Crocodiles, Imagery, TurtlesTurtle Cavalry
- Onward, alligator steed!
- Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, Vintage, VitaminsThe Harder A Wife Works, The Cuter She Looks
- So the harder a wife works, the cuter she looks!
- Breakfast, ImageryHow Did You Get In My House?
- If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple “Thank you” is all I need. Not all this “How did you get in my house?” business.
- Einstein, Imagery, Phones, TechnologyThe Day Einstein Feared
- The day that Einstein feared may have finally arrived.
- Illusion, ImageryConfused Carpentry
- A Carpenter’s Nightmare.
- Alcohol, Books, Imagery, WineBook Club
- My book club only reads wine labels.
- Imagery, Iphone, Nokia, PhonesNokia Versus The IPhone
- The strongest phones ever!
- Geeky, ImageryDrowning, LOL!
- If you see someone drowning… LOL!
- Sexist, WomenWhen A Woman Says “what?”
- When a woman says “what?”, it’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
- Australia, Imagery, Nrl, Nsw, Qld, Rugby, SportNSW Playing Economically: 2 Punches Per Gallen.
- NSW playing economically. 2 punches per Gallen.
- Adoption, Babies, ImageryAdopted Baby
- Dude, I’m joking, you are not adopted!
- ☺The World’s Shortest Books
- The World’s Shortest Books
- Communist, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, SoftwareCommunist Traitor
- It looks like you’re a Communist traitor…
- Computers, Geeky, ImageryKeyboards
- Amusing Keyboards
- Cars, ImagerySideways Car
- It’s a little confusing…
- Drink, Food, ImageryThings To Eat And Drink In Public
- Things to eat and drink in public.
- America, Cia, Cocaine, Coke, Drugs, ImageryCIA: We Put The Coke In America
- CIA: we put the coke in America.
- Flowcharts, Imagery, SexistHow To Argue With A Woman
- A flowchart.
- Africa, Apple, Imagery, Ipad, StarvingThinner Than Ever
- Thinner than ever.
- Advertising, Gay, Imagery, Ovaltine, VintageTo Wake Up Gay In The Morning…
- To wake up gay in the morning just try this at Bedtime Tonight!
- Computers, GeekyMessage From Your IT Deptartment
- Message from your IT Deptartment…
- SexistSocialize
- Men socialize by insulting each other…
- Political, SchoolMath Instruction
- At Heathrow Airport today…
- English, GrammarIf Your A Grammar Nazi
- If your a grammar nazi and your reading this your gonna have a bad time.
- Geeky, InternetCannot Find The Damn File
- Cannot find the damn file…
- Cars, ImagerySomething Wrong Officer?
- Something wrong officer?
- Imagery, Marriage, Onions, People, ProposingProposing With An Onion
- Proposing with an onion: Guaranteed to cry.
- Facebook, Imagery, Sexist, Sport, VolleyballLadies Beach Volleyball
- Just been watching Ladies Beach Volleyball, and there’s already been a wrist injury… but I should be OK by Friday.
- Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, VintageHappier With A Hoover
- Christmas morning she’ll be happier with a Hoover.
- Animals, Apples, Cats, Imagery, MathSeven Cats
- If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?
- Animals, Cats, Imagery, WorkI Used To Smile… Until I Worked Retail.
- I used to smile… until I worked retail.
- Advertising, Cocaine, Drugs, Imagery, Toothache, VintageCocaine Toothache Drops
- Cocaine Toothache Drops: Instantaneous Cure! 15¢.
- Imagery, Movies, RomanceGirlfriends: Harry Potter Versus Twilight
- Ginny: When Harry broke up with me for my safety…
- Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, Sweaters, VintageMen Are Better Than Women!
- Indoors, women are useful — even pleasant. On a mountain they are something of a drag. So don’t go hauling them up a cliff…
- English, Grammar, ImageryComforting A Grammar Nazi
- When comforting a grammar nazi, I always say softly, “there, their, they’re”
- Imagery, Motorbikes, SportOh Look, A Penny
- Oh look, a penny!
- Cartoons, Food, ImageryChocolate Pudding
- It’s four o’clock in the morning. Why on earth are you making chocolate pudding?
- English, ImageryLike If You Can Raed Tihs
- Like if you can raed tihs whit no porlqebm baecuas yuor jsut taht sarmt.
- Animals, Imagery, WhalesPaper, Scissors, Whale!
- Scissors cut paper again! I hate this game…
- Grammar, Imagery, TomorrowTomorrow (noun)
- Tomorrow (noun): a mystical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation and achievement is stored.
- Illusion, ImageryRound Illusion
- Unusual round illusion.
- Animals, Drugs, Imagery, RabbitsHigh Rabbits
- Two rabbits getting high on marijuana.
- Cars, Imagery, PoliceMisleading The Public
- $100 for speeding and $250 for misleading the public…
- Dads, Imagery, Jokes, Phones, SmsSometimes I Sit On The Floor And Put My Arms Around My Knees And Lean Forward
- Dad: Sometimes I sit on the floor and put my arms around my knees and lean forward. Daughter: Huh? Dad: Cuz that’s how I roll!
- Animals, Cats, ImageryCat Eats Watermelon
- Cat eats watermelon
- Africa, Animals, Cats, Imagery, Lions, TouristsThe Best Photo Caption
- A western woman in Africa—presumably a tourist—squats to go to the toilet in the bush, pants down, toilet paper in hand, her backpack in the grass nearby; unaware a lion is sneaking up behind her. Captioned “if she hasn’t… she will soon”.
- Australia, Games, Imagery, ReligiousThanks God
- God and the Rubiks Cube…
- Imagery, ReligiousBelieve In Reincarnation
- Yeah, well, I didn’t believe in reincarnation when I was your age, either.
- Animals, ImageryAntique Tables
- Made Daily…
- Afghanistan, RacistInvestment Opportunity
- Investment Opportunity. Thought you might want to consider getting on board early.
- Archaeology, Canada, Cars, Imagery, SnowCanadian Archaeology
- Canadian Archaeology: Digging a car out from under the snow
- Beaches, Imagery, Irish, SunbathingIrish Girl Sunbathing
- An Irish girl sunbathes…
- Imagery, Logan, Racist, RisquéIn Logan
- Meanwhile… in Logan…
- Fish, ImageryThe Swordfish
- The swordfish has few predators to worry about in the wild, except for the seldom seen penfish which is said to be even mightier.
- SexistEx Wife
- The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my ex-wife…
- Imagery, Memory, Protests, RalliesBetter Memory
- What do we want? Better memory! When do we want it? Want what?
- Imagery, Mistakes, PostersMake Some More Mistakes
- I’ve learned so much from my mistakes… I’m thinking of making a few more.
- Animals, Imagery, TurtlesYou’ll Never Be As Happy As This Turtle
- You’ll never be as happy as this turtle.
- Animals, Cats, Godzilla, Imagery, KittensGodzilla Kitten
- Terrifyingly cute…
- Animals, Babies, Biblical, Dogs, Imagery, ReligiousTake His Wife And Flee
- It seems Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but she looked back and turned into a pillar of salt! What happened to the flea?
- Computers, Geeky, ItComputer Quotes
- Computer quotes.
- GeekySpellcheck Not Needed
- Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy…
- InvisibleYou Can See Me?
- Next time a stranger talks to me when I’m alone I will look at them shocked and just whisper quietly, “you can see me?”
- Jokes, MathMath Joke
- Math joke.
- English, Grammar, QuotationsAmusing Quotes & One-Liners
- Amusing Quotes & One-Liners.
- PoliticalOrdering Pizza In The Year 2025
- Ordering pizza in the year 2025…
- Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryAnimals That Didn’t Expect Their Humans To Come Home So Early!
- Animals that didn’t expect their humans to come home so early!
- AustraliaText Of A Letter From A Kid From Eromanga To Mum And Dad.
- Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad.
- Boobs, Elevators, Imagery, RisquéThis Morning, I Was Beaten Up By A Busy Woman In An Elevator
- This morning, I was beaten up by a busy woman in an elevator. I was staring at her boobs when she said, “would you please press one?”. So I did. I don’t remember much after that.
- ☺Fifteen Things To Do At The Supermarket…
- Fifteen things to do at the supermarket while your spouse is taking their sweet time…
- Blogs, Grammar, Imagery, SpellingMisspelt Blog Post
- You wouldn't think anyone reads my blog. I haven’t got a comment in weeks. Misspell something…
- Dates, ImageryMay The 4th Be With You
- If today is “May the 4th be with you” does that mean tomorrow is “revenge of the 5th?”
- Facebook, Imagery, NewspapersReal Life Facebook
- I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles…
- Imagery, Paper, SignsIs It Me You’re Looking For?
- Hello? Is it me you’re looking for?
- Imagery, SexistWomen: Yes, No, Maybe…
- I think I have that women-talk all figured out…
- Fans, Metal, MusicMetal Fan
- What kind of music do you like? I am a huge metal fan. Me too!
- Animals, Imagery, LlamaA Shaved Llama
- A shaved Llama
- Australia, Bbq, Cooking, Food, SexistBarbecue Etiquette
- Aussie Barbecue Season.
- ImageryMichael Jackson's Dog
- A rather mean impression of what Michael Jackson’s dog might look like, if it had similar surgery.
- Geeky, InternetDiary Of An AOL Luser
- Diary of an AOL Luser.
- Imagery, StovesCool Stoves
- Cool Stoves
- Artists, Justin Bieber, MusiciansDear Justin Bieber Haters
- I owe my life to Justin Bieber…
- Money, SexistFemale Financial Planning
- Women are so much better at financial planning than men.
- Comics, Imagery, Movies, WorkPopular Sayings #38
- Dress for the job you want, not the one you have.
- Advertising, Guns, Imagery, Revolvers, VintageIsn’t It Time You Gave Yourself A Christmas Gift?
- Isn’t it time you gave yourself a Christmas Gift?
- Australia, New Zealand, RacistAn Aussie Taxidermist In New Zealand…
- An Aussie Taxidermist in New Zealand…
- ☺Got To Love Drunk People
- >A man, and his wife are awakened at 3 o’clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door…
- Alarms, Animals, Clocks, Imagery, SpidersAlarm Clock That Releases Spiders
- Million dollar idea… alarm clock that releases spiders! Now you’re up!
- Imagery, RisquéSave Paper
- Save paper…
- Cooking, Frypans, ImageryNon-stick Frypan
- A stuck non-stick frypan…
- Imagery, RocksMy Pet Rock Ran Away
- My Pet Rock Ran Away…
- Parties, WatchesNot On My Watch
- Lost my watch at a party once…
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryA Dog Named Stay
- I bought a dog once. Named him ‘Stay’…
- Darth Vader, ImageryBreathe Right
- Darth Vader going for some Breathe Right.
- Animals, Halloween, Imagery, SquirrelsHalloween Squirrel
- A squirrel got its head stuck in a Halloween decoration and terrified a neighbourhood…
- Doorbells, Imagery, Logan, RacistLogan Doorbell
- To ring door bell, connect wires.
- Facebook, Imagery, TattoosTough Tattoos
- Tough Tattoos: You Don’t Have to Like Me.
- ImageryTimes Have Changed
- An image from an operating manual for the SAGE air defense system
- Police, RisquéPanties
- Policewoman: Anything you say will be taken down!
- Animals, ImagerySeven Sharks
- If you own 7 cats then people will think you’re crazy…
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryA Little Hand
- I wish you could give me a little hand…
- Aboriginal, Australia, RacistAboriginal Spongebob Spotted In Cairns
- Aboriginal Spongebob spotted in Cairns.
- Imagery, RisquéAncient Japanese Proverb
- Ancient Japanese Proverb. If you cannot understand Japanese, tilt your head to the right…
- Imagery, SpicesSeasons Greetings
- Seasons Greetings
- ImageryApostrophe, Catastrophe
- Apostrophe, Catastrophe.
- Animals, Birds, Imagery, Owls, RegretsRegrets
- I stay up late every night, and realise it’s a bad idea every morning.
- Blackjack, Cards, Games, ImageryBlack Jack Black
- Black Jack Black eating Cracker Jack playing a black jack while playing BlackJack with Jack Black who is threatening Black Jack Black with a Black Jack.
- Geeky, Imagery, TechnologyBack-Up
- Image of man backing-up with computer.
- PoliticalPolitically Correct Primer
- A politically correct primer.
- Comics, Dancing, Imagery, Ireland, Irish, Irish DanceThe Book Of Irish Dance: Volume Two
- Whilst doing a long overdue clearout at the offices of Ireland’s oldest and most respected school of dance, Mrs O’Hara made a terrible discovery…
- Imagery, RocksOrders From A Rock
- [On a rock] Turn me over. You just took orders from a rock.
- Animals, Imagery, Iphone, PhonesIt’s A Whale
- How do you have any friends…
- Animals, Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, OttersFilthy Hobitses
- Filthy Hobitses
- Imagery, MedicalHearing Aids
- Hearing aids…
- SexistMen Are Happier
- Men are Happier: What do you expect from such simple creatures?
- Hammer, ImageryStop! Hammer Time
- Stop! Hammer Time!
- ImageryMcDonald’s Reaches Africa
- McDonald’s reaches Africa.
- Apple, Computers, Flash, Geeky, Imagery, MacMacintosh
- Mac Hater…
- Boats, Books, Fishing, Reading, Sexist, WomenNever Argue With A Woman
- Never Argue with a Woman…
- Animals, Imagery, Spiders, ZombiesZombie Apocalypse Spider
- I laugh at your claims to bravely take on a zombie apocalypse, when most of you can’t stand up to a spider.
- Books, Imagery, Lance Armstrong, LibrariesLance Armstrong Fiction Books
- All non-fiction Lance Armstrong books including “Lance Armstrong: Images of a Champion”, “The Lance Armstrong Peprformance Program” and “Lance Armstrong: World’s Greatest Champion” will soon be moved to the fiction section.
- Imagery, Police, ProtestsPolice & Protesters Help Fat Man Remove Pants
- Police & Protesters help fat man remove pants…
- GeekyIf Dr Seuss Was A Technical Writer
- If Dr Seuss Was A Technical Writer.
- Imagery, WorkNothing To Do
- In case of nothing to do, break glass and then sweep up broken glass.
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryDog Queue
- Sometimes, even dogs have to queue…
- Books, Imagery, PhobiasEverything You Wanted To Know About Phobias
- Everything you wanted to know about Phobias (but were afraid to ask)
- Imagery, Phones, Sms, SmsLost Phone
- A man sends SMS from a lost phone…
- Flash, ImageryVision Test
- Vision Test.
- Accidents, Cars, Imagery, TargetMissed Target
- Missed Target: So close…
- Cycling, Drugs, SportI Think It Is Just Terrible And Disgusting How Everyone Has Treated Lance Armstrong
- I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he achieved, winning seven Tour de France races while on drugs. When I was on drugs, I couldn’t even find my bike.
- Boats, Imagery, Rowing, WarRow Row Row Your Boat
- Row row row your boat. Shut up Carl.
- ImageryWhen You Thought You Ran Over An Animal
- When you thought you ran over an animal but it was just a person
- Animals, Cats, Cockroaches, Dogs, Imagery, Men, WomenThe Circle Of Life
- The Circle of Life: Who is afraid of who?
- Drugs, ImageryToo High
- Quick! Grab my hand! I… I can’t! You’re too high! What?
- April Fools, Imagery, Pizza, Salad, WorkThis Is How Workplace Violence Starts
- This is how workplace violence starts…
- Animals, Bears, Cartoons, Imagery, PigsJackass Piglet
- Hi, my name’s piglet and this is Jackass.
- Geeky, Imagery, Ninjas, Pirates, ZombiesSurvival Tracking Guide
- The Pirate, the Ninja, & the Zombie…
- America, Bear Arms, Constitution, Democracy, Imagery, Second AmendmentThe Second Amendment: The Right To Bear Arms
- The second amendment gives Americans the right to bear arms. I think many have taken this out of context.
- Beer, Imagery, RacistHow People From Around The World Open Beer
- People from around the world opening beer in their own unique ways.
- ImageryAll Images
- All Images
- Flies, Ipad, NewspapersModern Newspapers
- I was visiting my daughter last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper…
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryHow The Hell Is The Ball Still In Your Hand?
- How the hell is the ball still in your hand?
- Racist, RedneckA Redneck Love Poem
- Susie Lee done fell in love…
- Ice Cream, ImageryI Scream Cone
- I Scream Cone.
- Elderly, MemoryElderly Memories
- An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen…
- Apple, Imagery, Ios, Ios7, Iphone, Mobiles, PhonesThe New IPhone 5C With IOS 7
- The new iPhone 5C with IOS 7.
- Emoji, Imagery, Phones, SmsEmoji
- Alien blood transfusions are illegal for ghosts, but beach chickens win!
- GeekyHow Many Does It Take...
- How many forum posters does it take to change a light bulb?
- Imagery, Music, Rap, Rock, SignsRap Loses To Rock
- Rap is like scissors, it always loses to rock.
- ImageryFurniture Training
- Furniture training for one of their main purposes in life…
- RisquéTarzan Sex
- When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex…
- America, Australia, Birds, Horror Movies, Imagery, MagpiesAustralian Horror Story
- American Horror Story versus Australian Horror Story
- Imagery, Risqué, SupermanSuper Boner
- Super-boner: A super problem.
- Marriage, Religious, Sexist, WivesGood & Obedient Wives
- And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world…
- Animals, Imagery, SealsSeal This Opening
- I was told to seal this opening, so here I am.
- Computer Games, Imagery, SexistCall Of Duty: Women’s Edition
- Call of Duty: Women’s Edition.
- Imagery, Winnie The PoohPooh Everywhere
- Watch your step, there’s pooh everywhere!
- Imagery, Joke, Mayans, PredictionsMayan Joke Set-Up
- Heh… I’ve just thought of a joke with the longest set-up ever! Cool! I’ll fetch a scribe…
- Advertising, Boats, Imagery, Oceans, Oxi-clean, ShipsThe Power Of Oxi-Clean
- The Power of Oxi-Clean.
- Duct Tape, Imagery, WorkEmergency Bridge Repair Team
- Duct Tape: Good for anything.
- Animals, Cats, ImageryPlease Don’t Let The Cat Out. No Matter What It Tells You!
- Please don’t let the cat out. No matter what it tells you!
- Cars, Computer Games, Geeky, ImageryGamers: The Mentality
- Objects in mirror are losing.
- Imagery, Mexico, RacistMexico’s National Sport
- What is Mexico’s national sport? Cross country.
- Cars, PoliceSpeed Camera
- Speed camera revenge…
- GeekyQ209354 - HOWTO
- How to RTFM…
- Advertising, Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Phones, Samsung, Samsung Galaxy, TechnologyApple IPhone 20 & Samsung Galaxy S23 – Sword & Shield
- A mock-up of the iPhone 20 and Samsung Galaxy S23, after the launch of the “taller” iPhone5 & the larger Galaxy S3.
- SexistCelibacy
- Many aspects of human sexuality are very puzzling…
- Cartoons, ImageryFor A Good Time
- For a good time, call…
- Imagery, RisquéDangers Of Masturbation
- The Dangers of Masturbation.
- Geeky, ImageryDelete Cookies
- Delete cookies?!
- Bsod, Clippit, Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, WindowsWindows
- Windows. Still the most used operating system, and undoubtedly the most abused.
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryFree Puppy
- Free puppy…
- RisquéSanta’s Stressful Christmas
- Santa’s Stressful Christmas
- Illusion, ImageryWhat Kind Of Sorcery Lets These Two Blocks Be The Same Color?
- One is dark, one is light. One is gray, one is white. These are obviously two different blocks with two different colors right? Wrong. The two blocks are the same color.
- Facebook, ImageryBe The First Of Your Friends To Like This Post.
- A post with a poster on it, “Be the first of your friends to like this post”.
- Animals, Harry Potter, Horses, ImageryWingardium Levi-horse-a
- Wingardium levi-horse-a!
- Imagery, StoneNothing Is Written In Stone
- Nothing is Written in Stone…
- Chinese, Imagery, Racist, Tattoos, WomenIf Chinese People Tattooed Lame English Words On Themselves…
- If Chinese people tattooed lame English words on themselves…
- Aboriginal, Australia, Imagery, Racist, The RockStolen Generator
- So I heard about the stolen generation…
- Babies, Children, Daycare, Imagery, Logan, RacistLogan Daycare
- Logan Daycare: Just for the whole day
- Computers, ImageryTimes Change
- …but other things don’t.
- Imagery, Phones, Risqué, SexPhone Sex
- Phone Sex. You’re doing it wrong.
- Animals, Birds, Chickens, Imagery, MarriageMarriage: Before & After (Chicken Style)
- Marriage: Before & After (Chicken Style).
- Cars, Imagery, Roads, SignsTired? Powernap Now.
- Tired? Powernap now.
- ☺The Poodle And The Leopard
- Experience trumps youth.
- America, Britain, Political, Queen Elizabeth Ii, Queens, Racist, RoyaltyA MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN
- A message to the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.
- Dba, Geeky, Imagery, SqlDBA/SQL Humour
- An SQL query walks into a bar, goes up to two tables and asks, “May I join you?”
- Food, ImageryI Love The Smell Of Pixel In The Morning
- I Love the Smell of Pixel in the Morning…
- Alcohol, Goon, Imagery, Logan, Police, RacistLargest Goon Bust In Logan’s History
- Logan police in conjunction with the A.F.P. hauled in the largest goon bust in Logan’s history. With an estimated street value of $39.
- Harry Potter, Imagery, SmsMaster Has Presented Dobby With Clothes! Dobby Is Free!
- Well I’m grounded. WTF did you do this time? My Mum asked me to do the laundry and threw a sock at me… I ran away screaming “Master has presented Dobby with clothes! Dobby is free!”
- Apple, Computers, Imagery, Religious, Steve JobsHe’s Gonna Upgrade Your Tablets…
- Moses, meet Steve. He’s gonna upgrade your tablets…
- Bikinis, Burqa, Imagery, Muslim, Racist, SexistWhat A Cruel Male-dominated Culture
- It’s a male dominated culture, no matter how you look at it…
- Imagery, WorkHorse Whisperer
- A very amusing workplace complaint.
- Imagery, RedneckRedneck Ingenuity
- Redneck Ingenuity: Shoes for tyres.
- Africa, Animals, ImageryRhino Painting
- A rhinoceros painting…
- Arguments, English, Grammar, ImageryArgument Typo
- Heh I was almost forced to face the fact that my argument was bad but I see here that you made a typo hahaha tough luck pal.
- Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, SexistAre Those Yours?
- …they’re turning out so big and cute!
- Mayans, Movies, Predictions, The Hobbit, TolkienMayans Predicting The Hobbit Movie
- Keep calm. The Mayans were simply counting down to The Hobbit movie.
- Comedians, Comedy, Grammar, Hitler, Imagery, JapanOne Thing Led To Another
- I hate when you’re reading something and you come across the phrase “one thing led to another”
- Imagery…and So It Was.
- It’s a Bird! It’s a Plane!
- Animals, Cats, Ducks, Imagery, SeagullsCat Duck
- The Amazing Cat Duck! Or perhaps Cat Seagull?
- Animals, Australia, Dropbears, Imagery, KoalasDrop Bears – Department Of Dangerous Fauna Management
- Dropbears are a very real danger to all Australians. Almost one in ten Australians has been attacked by a Dropbear, and the rate is even higher for foreign visitors. Don’t become another statistic. Always beware low branches and doorframes. Look up. Stay Alive.
- Imagery, Mobiles, Mouse Traps, Phones, TelstraCustomer Retention
- Free Phone Telstra Style.
- Animals, Bears, Imagery, PenguinsDo One Brave Thing Today
- Do one brave thing today… then run like hell!
- Irish, Racist, ReligiousAn Irish Daughter Had Not Been To Her Parent's House For Over Five Years...
- An Irish daughter had not been to her parent’s house for over five years…
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryDog Poo Bin
- If your dog does a poo please put it in a litter bin.
- Joke, MathMath Problem
- John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now?
- Computer Games, Imagery, MarioIt’s A-me, Mario!
- Mario emerging from a drainpipe.
- Geeky, ItHow To Please Your IT Department
- How to please your IT department.
- Alcohol, Holidays, Imagery, WineHoliday Workout
- Holiday Workout: Three corkscrews.
- Animals, Cats, Imagery, Snow, SnowballsThe Cat & The Snowball
- The Cat & the Snowball.
- Canada, Etiquette, ImageryHolding Doors
- Holding Doors: A Question of Distance.
- Olympics, Racist, SportAthens Olympic Soccer Stadium
- The Athens Olympic Stadium…
- Board Games, Games, ImageryGroup Therapy
- …is not going to make Q any less of a hated letter.
- Animals, Imagery, KangaroosI Said Be Quiet! Don’t Make Me Come In There!
- I said be quiet! Don’t make me come in there!
- SexistEvening Classes For Men
- Instructive evening classes for men…
- Children, Grace, PrayersSix Year Old Praying
- A mother invited some people to dinner…
- Drawings, Imagery, SignsDraw Bridge
- A man drawing a bridge at a “draw bridge” sign.
- Australia, Imagery, Kevin Rudd, PoliticalThe Many Hands Of Kevin Rudd
- The many hand gestures of Kevin Rudd.
- Clothes, Hats, Imagery, TiesYou Hang Around, I’ll Go On Ahead
- You hang around, I’ll go on ahead.
- Animals, Cats, Egyptians, Hieroglyphics, ImageryAncient Egyptians: Posting Cats To Their Walls Since 3150 BC
- Ancient Egyptians: Posting cats to their walls since 3150 BC
- PoliticalMerry Christmas & A Happy New Year
- Merry Christmas & A Happy New Year.
- Girls, Imagery, WorkForgot I Was Sharing My Screen With Her
- I was on an online conference call with a cute sounding girl, and googled her name out of curiosity. Forgot I was sharing my screen with her.
- Cables, Cables, Geeky, Imagery, UsbCables Exist In 4-dimensional Space
- Proof USB cables exist in 4-dimensional space.
- Roadwork, Shovels, WorkersWe Forgot Our Shovels
- A road crew foreman calls into the shop. Foreman: “We have a problem.”
- Imagery, Injuries, Sexist, SportMen & Women In Sport
- Women: No problem girls… I can go on. Men: Ahhhh! I’m dying.
- Game Shows, TvAmusing Hollywood Squares Answers
- Amusing Hollywood Squares Answers.
- Alligators, Animals, Crocodiles, ImageryHow To Tell Alligators And Crocodiles Apart
- It’s not that difficult to tell alligators and crocodiles apart…
- Fonts, Imagery, Running, Sport, Usain BoltUsain Bold, Usain Italic
- Usain Bolt: Usain Bold, Usain Italic.
- Beaches, Imagery, WomenBitches Be Trippin’
- Bitches be trippin’
- Risqué, WorkThe Boss’s Quandary
- The Boss’s Quandary…
- SexistPunctuation Is Powerful.
- Punctuation is powerful.
- Animals, Imagery, WhalesThe Hey Whale
- The Hey Whale. It defies description.
- Children, Imagery, ParentingAn Angry Child
- If she doesn’t put me down in about two seconds, I will be forced to use my fist!
- Animals, Australia, Crocodiles, Emus, Imagery, Kangaroos, Koalas, Kookaburras, Police, Sharks, Spiders, Woolworths26 Everyday Occurrences In Australia
- When you live on a barely hospitable desert island that was once a continent-sized penal colony, your life tends to be a little more badass than the average person’s.
- Australia, Imagery, Nsw, PolicePoliceman’s Ball
- A young woman was pulled over for speeding. A NSW Police Officer walked to her car window flipping open his ticket book. She said “I bet you are going to try and sell me a ticket to the Policeman’s Ball.” He said, “NSW Police don’t have balls.” There was a moment of silence. Then he closed his book, tipped his hat, and got back in his patrol car and left!
- Marriage, SexistSecrets To A Happy Marriage
- Secrets to a Happy Marriage…
- Food, Imagery, PizzaI Just Burned 1500 Calories In About Five Minutes
- I just burned 1500 calories in about five minutes. I forgot the pizza was in the oven.
- Animals, ImageryWireless Technology
- “It is a bit freaky with this wireless technology”
- Imagery, SexistHow Could You Be So Insensitive?
- How Could You Be So Insensitive? This is what it looks like from the other person’s perspective.
- Africa, Bus, ImageryDo You Ever Get So Angry…
- Do you ever get so angry… you throw a VCR at a burning bus?
- Communist, Computer Games, Geeky, ImageryA Case In Communism: The Super Mario Story
- A Case in Communism: The Super Mario Story.
- Calendars, Comics, Imagery, MayansThe Mayan Calendar
- I only had enough room to go up to 2012…
- England, Imagery, UkAnarchy In The UK
- Would you like some tea?
- Animals, Dogs, Imagery, SnakesLong Dogs
- A man walking two long dogs meets a man walking two normal dogs…
- Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Internet Explorer, Mac, WindowsCan Your Mac Do This?
- Can your Mac do this? I don’t think so…
- WorkMergers
- Amusing mergers.
- Animals, Dogs, Drugs, Imagery, MethMeth Lab Dog
- Yellow Lab, Black Lab, Chocolate Lab, Meth Lab!
- Babies, ImageryNow Airtight
- Now airtight… to prevent aging!
- Political, ReligiousThe 10 Commandments
- The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse or parliament…
- Geeky, ImageryCaps Lock
- A visual representation of the use of caps lock.
- Imagery, SexistWoman With PMS
- Woman with PMS.
- Bananas, Cars, Food, ImageryGet In The Banana
- No time to explain. Get in the banana!
- English, Etymology, Imagery, Languages, SpanishEntero Somewhere Elso
- English: Do Not Enter Here; Spanish: Entero Somewhere Elso.
- Animals, Imagery, Johnny Depp, Movie Stars, SpidersI’m Really Afraid Of Johnny Depp
- Research shows that if you’re afraid of spiders, you’re more likely to find one in your bedroom. I’m really afraid of Johnny Depp.
- Art, Geeky, ImageryNational Portrait Gallery
- National Portrait Gallery. National Landscape Gallery…
- Helpline, Imagery, Phones, YogaYoga Emergency Hotline
- Yoga Emergency Hotline, how may I help you?
- English, ImageryYou You Read The First Line Wrong?
- What if I told you you read the first line wrong?
- Army, WarAmerican Nun
- A deserter GI was running down a road escaping from two MPs…
- America, Imagery, North Korea, Obama, RacistNorth Korea: I Will Destroy America
- North Korea: I will destroy America! Obama: Too late!
- Agony Aunt, Cheating, Dear Abby, Imagery, Motorbikes, Relationships, SexistDear Abby, I’ve Never Written To You Before…
- Dear Abby, I’ve never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision…
- SexistA Woman’s Wish
- A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods…
- Babies, ImagerySpot The Baby
- Spot the baby. No, the other one.
- Food, ImageryLittle Green Balls Of Death
- Little Green Balls of Death
- AudioTelstra Customer Service
- An insight into the Telstra Customer Service Experience.
- Animals, Bread, Dogs, Food, ImageryBread Dog
- The Amazing Bread Dog.
- Animals, Computer Games, Games, Imagery, PhonesAngry Birds
- Angry Birds attend Anger Management.
- Batman, Imagery, WikileaksWikileaks
- Bruce Wayne!
- Facebook, Imagery, MoneyHow To Make Money From Facebook
- How to make money from facebook: 1) just go to “Account Settings”; 2) Press “Deactivate your account”; 3) Go to work.
- ☺Comments & Other Similar Social Data
- Comments, Facebook Open Graph, & Other Similar Social Data.
- Imagery, Political, Politicians, Prostitutes, RisquéHonest Politician
- Hi! I’m 32. I’m a politician and I’m honest. Hi. I’m 29, I’m a prostitute and I’m a virgin.
- Animals, ImageryFalling Cows
- A roadsign showing a cow falling off a cliff and onto a car.
- Imagery, SchoolUnprepared For An Exam
- Ever gone into an exam having not studied at all?
- Babies, ImageryDraw Fake Eyebrows On Your Baby
- Draw fake eyebrows on your baby. Then sit back and enjoy the humour.
- Cats, Imagery, MailboxesMailman Jumped 15 Feet
- Mailman jumped 15 feet. Dog was right. This is fun.
- Apple, Imagery, Ios, Ios6, TransportApple IOS6 Maps
- For the benefit of passengers using Apple iOS6, local area maps are available from the booking office.
- Animated, Illusion, Imagery, Impossible Triangle, Penrose TrianglePenrose Triangle
- Penrose Triangle Animation.
- Computers, Sms, WindowsWindows Frozen
- Wife texts husband on a cold winter’s morning, “Windows frozen.”
- Australia, Imagery, Kevin Rudd, PoliticalKevin Rudd’s Ego
- Kevin Rudd’s Ego.
- Imagery, RisquéPremature Ejaculators Anonymous
- Man stating he ‘came too soon’ in front of sign stating ‘premature ejaculators anonymous’.
- RisquéMonica
- Monica walks into her dry cleaning store…
- Ice, Imagery, MindpowerMelt Ice With My Mind
- I can melt ice with my mind… just give me a few minutes…
- Comics, ImageryHorton Hears The Who
- Horton Hears the Who
- Accidents, Helmets, Imagery, Jamaica, Motorbikes, Risqué, SexistWhat’s The Main Reason For Motorbike Accidents In Jamaica?
- What’s the main reason for motorbike accidents in Jamaica?
- Illusion, ImageryThe Angry/Calm Illusion
- The Angry/Calm Illusion.
- Advertising, April Fools, Ikea, Imagery, Product Recalls, ToolsIKEA Product Recall
- IKEA product recall advert on April Fools Day
- Imagery, Phones, SmsI Am Hungary
- I am Hungary…
- PoliticalLabel Instructions
- French Label Instructions
- Angels, Imagery, Red Bull, SculpturesRed Bull Gives You Wings
- Red Bull Gives You Wings.
- SexistGuts Or Balls?
- We’ve all heard about men having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them?
- Diets, Food, Paleolithic DietPaleolithic Diet
- Something’s just not right—our air is clean, our water is pure, we all get plenty of exercise, everything we eat is organit and free-range, and yet nobody lives past thirty.
- Bananas, Fruit, ImageryAppealing Attire
- I find this attire… appeeling.
- Animals, Imagery, Lightbulbs, Mice, Risqué, SexHow Many Mice Does It Take To Screw In A Lightbulb?
- How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
- France, Imagery, North Korea, RacistFrance Surrenders To North Korea
- France surrenders to North Korea
- Cars, Drugs, Imagery, PoliceHow High Are You?
- How High Are You? No Officer, it’s “Hi, how are you”.
- English, GrammarBipolar Awesome
- English can be weird. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
- RisquéTest Your Subconscious
- This revolutionary test will expose the secret desires from your subconscious…
- Animals, Dieting, DogsPurina Diet
- The Purina Pet Food Diet.
- Imagery, PhotographyOlympus Fights Back
- Olympus Fights Back: Canon versus Olympus
- Engineering, Flowcharts, Geeky, ImageryEngineering Flowchart
- Nothing duct tape and WD-40 can’t fix…
- Beds, Hotels, Imagery, Phones, SheetsAlways Leave Your Hotel Room Like This
- Always leave your hotel room like this
- Advertising, Australia, Billboards, CarsRAC Roadside Assistance Meltdown
- You don’t want to be stuck out here.
- ImagerySteady Hand – The Results
- Steady Hand – The Results (or what happens when you play Steady Hand)
- Exams, Imagery, Signs, University, UqIn Class Vs. In Your Exam
- In class vs. in your exam.
- Homework, Imagery, SchoolSelf Referencing Homework
- What has been your greatest accomplishment so far?
- Cars, ImageryAbove The Law Like A Boss
- Above the law like a boss: removing a wheel clamp.
- Computers, GeekyUnix Commands
- Amusing UNIX commands.
- ShoppingGrocery Shopping On An Empty Stomach
- Accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I’m the proud owner of aisle 4.
- Alcohol, Imagery, SexistLet’s Go For A Drink…
- Goldstar Beer Ads: What goes through the mind of men and women when they’re asked to go for a drink…
- Africa, Animals, Imagery, MoviesThe Lion King: Proof At Last
- Pumbaa & Timon…
- Boats, Fishing, Imagery, Logan, RacistFishing, Logan Style
- Fishing, Logan Style.
- Animals, Imagery, Seals, SharksDo Not Consume If Seal Is Broken!
- Do not consume if seal is broken!
- America, RacistA Russian Arrives In New York
- A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United States…
- ImageryPositive For Coke
- You’re fired Jack, the lab results just came back and you tested positive for Coke.
- Bikes, Imagery, PostsHave You Seen This Post?
- Have you seen this post? He didn’t.
- Imagery, Notices, Paper, SignsPaper Says Yes
- Would you like a little piece of paper that says yes to hang onto during the tough times ahead? (Maybe it will help)
- Cars, ImageryCar Alarms
- Car alarms: They piss me off!
- Imagery, MoviesTitanic Ice Bucket Challenge
- Titanic ALS Ice Bucket Challenge: “I accept your ice water challenge”.
- ImageryProof That Not Knowing Everything Is The Best Way To Go
- Proof that not knowing everything is the best way to go.
- English, Grammar, ImageryGrammar Matters
- Two Google searches: One for “how can u” and one for “how can an individual”
- Imagery, RisquéThumb War
- One, two three, four. I declare a thumb war…
- Fans, ImageryThank You To All My Fans
- Thank you to all my fans
- Advertising, Food, Fountain, Imagery, Tomato Sauce, WoolworthsBuy Two & Receive A Free Fountain Face!
- Buy two and receive a Free Fountain Face!
- Children, Parenting, Risqué“Hi Honey. This Is Daddy. Is Mummy Near The Phone?”
- Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mummy near the phone?
- Birds, Imagery, RavensWhere Have You Been All Weekend?
- Where have you been all weekend? Out Raven.
- Browsers, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, WindowsFirefox Has Encountered…
- …an unexpected problem with Windows.
- America, Imagery, RacistAmerican Measures
- American Measures: An Arbitrary Retarded Rollercoaster
- Brisbane, Imagery, Logan, Racist, WoodridgeSimba & Woodridge
- But what about that shadowy place?
- Acid, Animals, Cats, Cocaine, Coffee, Drugs, Heroin, Imagery, Marijuana, Mushrooms, Shrooms, WeedDrug Cats
- An illustrated cat-guide to drugs…
- Famous People, Imagery, Movie StarsReese Witherspoon
- Reese Withoutherspoon.
- Facebook, Imagery, InternetFuture Man
- So you’re saying people will “tweet” what they’re eating for breakfast?
- Cars, ImageryHonked At A Prius
- Honked at a Prius, scared the crap out of it.
- Animals, Imagery, SealsSeal The Deal
- What do you say we go behind this rock and seal the deal?
- Imagery, TvThinking Outside The Square
- A sideways television.
- Chess, Feminists, Imagery, Sexist, WomenHow To Play Chess
- How to Play Chess: Whites go first. The Queen must protect the King.
- Imagery, WaterThe Deadly Facts About Water
- The Deadly Facts about Water
- Christian, Imagery, Jewish, Muslim, RacistAn Atheist, A Jew, And A Christian Walk Into A Bar…
- An atheist, a Jew, and a Christian walk into a bar…
- Fortune Cookies, ImageryYou Are Not Illiterate.
- You are not illiterate.
- Grammar, SpellingYou Read That Wrong
- That awkward moment when you read that wrong…
- Computer Games, ImageryVideo Games Don’t Make Us Violent – Lag Does!
- Video games don’t make us violent – lag does!
- Animals, Cats, Imagery, Mayans, PredictionsWorst Apocalypse Ever
- [A grumpy cat the day the Mayan calendar ended] “Still Here. Worst Apocalypse Ever.”
- Centrelink, Imagery, WineDrinking A Nice Wine
- Drinking a nice wine while listening to classical music…
- Animals, Antelopes, ImageryDid You Know There Is A Species Of Antelope Capable Of Jumping Higher Than The Average House?
- Did you know there is a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house? This is due to its powerful hind legs and the fact that the average house cannot jump.
- Babies, ImageryWomb Service
- Hello, Womb Service? I’d like a double order of hot wings…
- RacistOnly In America...
- Only in America…
- Animals, Cows, ImageryA Cow Getting A Back Scratch
- A cow getting a back scratch.
- Apple, Computers, Geeky, Linux, Mac, WindowsHow To Fix Any Computer
- A comprehensive guide to fixing any computer.
- Australia, Gillard, PoliticalPatriotic Retirement Plan
- Ms Gillard’s Patriotic Retirement Plan.
- English, Grammar, Imagery, School, TeachersGrammar Vandal
- When English teachers snap: Sorry Ma’am, but bad grammar is no excuse for vandalism.
- Cars, Imagery, MoviesDiesel
- Hey, wanna know what I put in my car?
- Cars, Dumbledore, Harry Potter, Imagery, PetrolExpecto Petroleum!
- Expecto Petroleum!
- Imagery, SportHandegg
- Football versus Handegg: It’s not football…
- Adelaide, Australia, Chairs, Disaster, Earthquake, ImageryThe 2011 Adelaide Earthquake
- The 2011 Adelaide Earthquake: We will rebuild.
- English, Grammar, Risqué, School, University, WritingShort Story
- A college class was told they had to write a short story in as few words as possible.…
- ImageryCaution: Door May Open
- Caution: Door May Open.
- Babies, Imagery, PregnancyPregnancy Tips
- Some useful pregnancy tips…
- Medical, RisquéKeep Off The Grass
- A Nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothes, entered…
- Australia, Cooking, God, Imagery, KitchensIn God’s Kitchen
- In God’s Kitchen: What are you cooking?
- Aerodynamics, Aeroplanes, ImageryAerodynamics Simplified
- How planes fly.
- SexistMars Vs. Venus
- Mars versus Venus…
- ImageryElephant Bone
- …just to confuse future archaeologists.
- Camping, Grammar, Imagery, TentsYou Can’t Run Through A Campground
- You can’t run through a campground. You can only ran, because it’s past tents.
- Canada, Imagery, Protests, RiotsCanadian Riots
- Canadian Riots: Sorry to bother you, but perhaps you should take a break as our mayor?
- America, Imagery, Nsa, Obama, Phones, SpyingObama: “Aww No! Both Of You Hang Up!”
- Her: “Ok, you hang up.” Him: “No, you hang up.” Her: “Haha, no you hang up.” Obama: “Aww no! Both of you hang up!”
- Alcohol, Imagery, Irish, RacistIrish Yoga
- Irish Yoga.
- PilotsBlind Pilots
- You know, Bob, one of these days, they’re going to scream too late, and we’re all gonna die…
- Animals, Animated, Bananas, Cats, ImageryCat & Banana
- The cat and the banana.
- America, France, Ireland, Irish, Racist, RisquéThe Penis Study
- The American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man’s penis was larger than the shaft…
- Accidents, Aeroplanes, Imagery, LuggageClosing Airline Luggage Doors
- Closing Airline Luggage Doors.
- Blonde, Fruit, Ginger, Hair, Imagery, Strawberries, WomenGinger Versus Strawberry Blonde
- This is a strawberry. This is ginger…
- Animals, Business, Dogs, ImageryAssistant Branch Manager
- The Branch Manager and the Assistant Branch Manager.
- Imagery, Math, PiWife Of Pi
- He’s irrational and he goes on and on…
- Epilepsy, Imagery, PostersSeize The Day
- Seize The Day: Sign up for the Epilepsy Awareness Walk.
- Atoms, Imagery, SignsDo Not Trust Atoms
- Do not trust atoms. They make up everything.
- Imagery, SnowDead Snowmen
- Gruesomely dead snowmen.
- Animals, Fish, Imagery, Love, Romance, SmsAnyways, Best Of Luck Finding Your Fish
- Long story short, we’re in love. I know it seems sudden but life is sudden like that, you know? Anyways, best of luck finding your fish.
- Advertising, ImageryColgate Dental Floss Advertising Campaign
- Colgate have created an ingenious campaign to promote their dental floss.
- WorkExecutive Test
- The following short quiz consists of four questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a “professional”…
- ImageryProcrastination Issues
- I’m taking care of my procrastination issues; just you wait and see.
- Animals, Golf, Imagery, Sport, TurtlesWorld’s Largest Golf Ball
- World’s largest golf ball. Gigantic turtle for scale.
- Imagery, Signs, SpringSpring Is Here. I’m So Excited I Wet My Plants!
- Spring is here. I’m so excited I wet my plants!
- Bricks, Footpaths, Imagery, OcdOCD Bricks
- The worst thing that can happen to an OCD person…
- Animals, Imagery, SealsThe Seal Of Approval
- The Seal of Approval…
- English, GrammarThat’s What She Said
- That’s what she said.
- BabiesA Baby’s Laughter Is One Of The Most Beautiful Sounds You’ll Ever Hear
- A baby’s laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you’ll ever hear. Unless it’s 3 AM, you’re home alone, and you don’t have a baby.
- Business Cards, Geeky, Imagery, Notepad, WindowsNotepad Business Card
- A business card styled to look like Windows Notepad.
- Babies, Imagery, InstructionsBaby Instructions
- Some useful instructions to keep baby alive and well…
- Imagery, SexistCall The Rescue Squad!
- I’m sorry dear. I can’t hear you. I’m in the kitchen, making you a sandwich.
- Imagery, Step Ladders, ToolsStep Ladder
- The Troubles of Being a Step Ladder…
- Australia, Cars, Ghosts, Pub, Storm, SupernaturalA True Australian Ghost Story
- This story happened a short while ago near Brisbane, and even though it sounds a little Alfred Hitchcock… it’s (supposedly) true.
- Bob Hope, Imagery, Johnny Cash, Kevin Bacon, Steve JobsDon’t Let Kevin Bacon Die
- 20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have No Cash, No Hope and No Jobs. Please don’t let Kevin Bacon die.
- Drugs, Food, ImageryEminem Drug Bust
- Eminem Drug Bust.
- Knock Knock, PolicePolice: Knock Knock
- Police: Knock Knock. Me: Who is it? Police: It’s the police.
- Geeky, Imagery, InternetYour Computer Is Broadcasting Your IP...
- Your computer is broadcasting your IP over the Internet…
- Accidents, Buses, Imagery, Rivers, Wildlife DocumentariesA Wild Bus Drinking Water
- And here we see a wild bus drinking water from a river.
- Animals, Eggs, Giraffes, ImageryGiraffe Egg
- Giraffe Egg.
- Animals, Imagery, ZebrasI Love You Zebra
- Bite marks are love notes written in flesh. I love you zebra.
- Animals, JokeThe Dead Rabbit
- The Dead Rabbit, aka The Worst Joke Ever…
- Imagery, Music, Musical Instruments, Sex, Violence, ViolinsSax And Violins
- Warning: This image contains sax and violins. Viewer discretion is advised.
- Bananas, Food, Imagery, ZucchinisGreen Banana
- Green banana…
- Imagery, SexistAlways Love A Woman For Her Personality
- Always love a woman for her personality. They have like 10, so you can choose.
- Coronavirus, Gynaecology, ImageryVisiting Your Gynaecologist During Coronavirus
- Visiting your Gynaecologist during Coronavirus
- Halloween, Imagery, Pumpkins, VegetablesAngry Pumpkin Man
- Angry Pumpkin Man: Come at me bro!
- Animated, ImageryWait!
- Wait…
- Imagery, Nietzsche, ReligiousNietzsche Is Dead
- God is dead” ~Nietzsche / “Nietzsche is dead” ~God.
- Boobs, Bsod, Computers, Fashion, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, Sexist, Shirts, Windows, WomenI Love My BSOD
- Perhaps the only blue screen of death geeks would be happy to see.
- Animals, Australia, Cats, Horse Racing, Horses, Imagery, Jockeys, Melbourne Cup, SportMelbourne Cup Cat Horse
- Melbourne Cup Cat Horse.
- Animals, Cats, ImageryOn A Roll
- Don’t try to stop me… ‘cause I am on a roll.
- Diving, Imagery, Sharks, Sign LanguageA Signal They Forgot To Teach You In Your Open Water Class.
- Big shark behind you: A signal they forgot to teach you in your open water class.
- Computers, Imagery, Passwords, TechnologyNew Password Can’t Be Old Password
- Enter password. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong…
- Canada, RacistAn Ontarian Wanted To Become A Newfie…
- An Ontarian wanted to become a Newfie…
- Bsod, Geeky, Microsoft, WindowsBSOD: Blue Screen Of Death
- The dreaded blue screen of death…
- Jokes, Pool, Puns, Sport, TreesWhat’s Green, Fuzzy, And If It Fell Out Of A Tree It Would Kill You?
- What’s green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?
- Geology, Imagery, SchoolGeology
- Name the three types of rock.
- Animals, Dogs, Driving, Imagery, SexistDog Decides Better Driver
- My wife believes she is a better driver. I let our dog decide.
- Cars, Geeky, TechnologyCars And Computers
- General Motors doesn’t have a help line for people who don’t know how to drive because people don’t buy cars like they buy computers, but imagine if they did…
- Imagery, Signs, WarningsThrew Caution To The Wind
- Looks like someone threw caution to the wind.
- Imagery, Rallies, Sexist, WomenWhat Women Want
- Who are we? Women! What do we want? We don’t know! When do we want it? NOW!
- Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, Sauron, Traffic LightsKneel, Says The Demon Light
- Stop says the red light, go says the green. Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between. Kneel, says the demon light, with its eye of coal. Sauron knows your licence plate, and stares into your soul.
- ReligiousThe Pope Is Busted
- After getting all of Pope John Paul’s luggage loaded into the limo…
- Animals, Dogs, Imagery, RisquéBitches & Hose
- Having so much fun…
- Imagery, RisquéHebrew Cave Paintings
- Written across the wall of the cave were the following symbols…
- Comics, English, ImageryThe Accidental Conversation Loop
- My greatest social fear: The Accidental Conversation Loop.
- Australia, Coronavirus, Political, Politicians, Scott MorrisonConfirmed Case Of Corona
- Hey babe, just thought you should know there’s a confirmed case of corona in our neighbourhood…
- Dating, Imagery, Relationships, SexistAnd Then I Said
- And Then I Said… The Differences Between Boys & Girls.
- Imagery, Potatoes, Vegan, VegetablesVegan Potatoes
- Vegans are evil…
- Animals, Dogs, Education, Elephants, Exams, Fish, Imagery, Monkeys, Penguins, School, SealsOur Education System
- [To an assorted group of animals] Our Education System: For a fair selection everybody has to take the same exam: Please climb that tree.
- Boobs, SexistTen Things Men Know About Women
- Ten things men know about women…
- Imagery, PhonesJack’s Phone
- Why aren’t you answering…?
- America, Canada, RacistU.S. Ship Versus Canadian
- U.S. Ship versus Canadian.
- Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, SexistDream Girl
- Girl on beach with six breasts.
- English, GrammarParaprosdokians
- Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.
- Animals, Cats, ImageryCat In A Cat Box
- A cat in a Cat box.
- Imagery, Shirts, Tourettes, TshirtsWhat Do We Want? A Cure For Tourettes!
- What do we want? A cure for tourettes! When do we want it? …
- Dalai Lama, Daleks, Dr Who, Imagery, Reincarnation, TvDalek Lama
- Reincarnate! Reincarnate!
- WorkHow To Get A Day Off Work
- How to get time off in the public service…
- Animals, Imagery, SharksShark! What?
- Shark! What?
- Food, Imagery, TurkeyRoast Turkey With A Doll Head
- I was watching TV when I head my Dad in the kitchen laughing to himself. When I got up to see what he was doing, I walked in on this…
- Animals, Dogs, Imagery, SpidersSpider Dog
- Spider Dog…
- Australia, Imagery, Julia Gillard, Kevin Rudd, PoliticalWhere Was I Before I Was So Rudely Interrupted?
- [Kevin Rudd] Where was I before I was so rudely interrupted?
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryFridge Magnets
- Well, tell me, Randy. Has someone eaten all the refrigerator magnets again?
- Bikes, Brisbane, Citycycle, Imagery, UnicyclesFrom The Minds Who Brought You CityCycle — UniCycle.
- From the minds who brought you CityCycle — UniCycle. Brisbane’s brightest idea yet.
- Football, Relationships, Sexist, SportThe Loving Husband
- A man had two of the best tickets for the opening State of Origin match. As he sits down, another man comes along and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him…
- Animals, Drugs, ImageryFlying Ants
- How ants began to fly…
- Cling-wrap, Imagery, WorkCling-wrap Fun
- Cling-wrap fun.
- Coronavirus, Cruises, Face Masks, Imagery, Sunbathing, SunburnJust Back From Our Cruise. Had A Great Time.
- Just back from our cruise. Had a great time.
- Alcohol, Imagery, Marriage, WineSecrets To A Long, Happy Marriage
- An old woman was sipping on a glass of wine…
- ImageryAwkward Moment
- The awkward when you already said “moment” in your head before you read it.
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryFunny Dog
- The longer you look, the funnier it gets!
- ImageryHow To Be Green
- A boardgame: How to be Green…
- Gandalf, Harry Potter, Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, Patrick Stewart, Star Trek, Star WarsHow To Offend Four Groups Of Geeks With One Picture
- How to offend four groups of geeks with one picture.
- Imagery, TeaMr. Tea
- Mr. Tea the teapot.
- Canada, Flutes, Imagery, SignsCanada Has A Serious Epidemic
- Protect yourself and others from the flute.
- Australia, Imagery, Racist, Tintin, WynnumThe Adventures Of TinTin: TinTin In Wynnum
- The Adventures of TinTin: TinTin in Wynnum.
- Earth, Imagery, Risqué, Solar SystemDon’t Masturbate
- Don’t Masturbate!
- Cars, Imagery, Irish, RacistIrish Car
- An advertisement in an Irish Newspaper…
- Anatidaephobia, Animals, Ducks, ImageryAnatidaephobia
- Anatidaephobia is the fear that somewhere in the world, there is a duck watching you.
- Cars, Imagery, RacingTimes Were Tough Before The GoPro
- Times were tough before the GoPro…
- Beer, Calendars, Imagery, Mayans, Predictions2 Mayan Guys
- [2 Mayan Guys] Wanna beer? I’m working on this calendar, but I guess if I don’t finish it won’t be the end of the world.
- Babies, Drinking, Imagery, Studying, The RockWhat Are Your Plans For The Weekend?
- What are your plans for the weekend? Studying. [shocked look] Drinking! Drinking!
- SexistMen Are Like...
- Men are like…
- Australia, Buses, Explosions, Imagery, InalaSorry For Party Rocking
- Sorry for Party Rocking: Driver jumps from burning bus, party bus explodes in Inala.
- RacistAmerican History 101
- American History 101
- Beer, ChartsBeer Troubleshooting Chart
- Beer Troubleshooting Chart.
- Imagery, ShipsA Ship Shipping Ship Shipping Shipping Ships.
- A ship shipping ship shipping shipping ships.
- America, Guns, ImageryHow To Sneak Chocolate Into An American Movie Theatre.
- How to sneak chocolate into an American movie theatre.
- Animals, ImageryUsed Cows
- Used Cows for Sale.
- Capitalism, Imagery, PoliticalSuffering From Capitalism
- Feeling sad and depressed? Are you anxious? Worried about the future? Feeling isolated and alone? You might be suffering from Capitalism.
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryI See What You Did There
- I see what you did there… also, over here…
- Batman, Imagery, Superman, WonderwomanIt Is Such A Drag When Someone In The Group Can’t Fly…
- It is such a drag when someone in the group can’t fly… forcing everybody else to have to ride up the elevator too…
- Imagery, Queensland, WinterI Absolutely Love Winter In Queensland.
- I absolutely love winter in queensland. Last year it was a Wednesday.
- Fish, Imagery, MermaidsReverse Mermaid
- You are alone on an uninhabited island. Which of these would you choose as your companion?
- Droids, Imagery, Star WarsLook, Sir. Droids!
- These are not the droids you are looking for.
- Animals, Australia, Cockatoos, Flies, Imagery, Kangaroos, Kookaburras, Magpies, Possums, Snakes, Spiders, SunburnTypically Australian Problems
- Some typically Australian problems that other people don’t face.
- Beer, Computers, GeekyIf Beer Was Like Operating Systems...
- If Beer was like Operating Systems…
- Animals, Cats, ImageryCat Bag
- It’s a cat bag. Not too sure what else to say about this…
- Imagery, RacistHow To Be Black
- How to be Black: An Instructional Book.
- Imagery, MenI'd Rather Break My Arms Than Take Two Trips
- I'd rather break my arms than take two trips.
- Babies, Cars, Imagery, StickersBaby On Board
- Baby on Board
- Bugs Bunny, Cartoons, Daffy Duck, Donald Duck, Goofy, Imagery, Looney Tunes, Mickey Mouse, Porky Pig, Road Runner, Tom And Jerry, Wile E CoyoteJust To Make You Feel Really Old
- Just to make you feel really old…
- Imagery, Real EstateLaminated Room
- List of reasons why a room would have to contain a bucket and be almost entirely laminated: 1) Bad reasons.
- Geeky, MusicWhat If The Beatles Had Been Computer Freaks?
- What if the Beatles had been computer freaks?
- America, Democracy, Imagery, TvWelcome To The USA
- The Government where the money’s made up and the debt doesn’t matter.
- Animated, Chris Coutts, Flash, Imagery, No Effort OnlineChris Coutts: No Effort Online: Tales For The L33T: PATR TOO: HAMLET
- Chris Coutts: No Effort Online flash animations
- Adobe, Geeky, Imagery, UpdatesAdobe Updates
- I don’t always have an update…
- Animals, Imagery, RaccoonsGet Well Soon
- A raccoon lies dead on the road, holding a “get well soon” balloon.
- English, WordsI’m Awkward When People Compliment Me…
- I’m awkward when people compliment me… “Nice hair” Me: “Thanks, I grew it myself”
- Chinese, Imagery, Newspapers, SubmarinesHiding Submarines
- China may be using sea to hide its submarines
- Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, PhonesIPhone 6 Repair Kit
- iPhone 6 repair kit.
- Animals, Giraffes, Imagery, SpidersGiraffe Spider
- A giraffe spots a spider…
- Beer, ImagerySix Die In Horror Smash
- Six Die in Horror Smash.
- ImageryBribing Santa
- Dear Santa, if you leave a new bike under the tree, I will give you the antidote to the poison I put in the milk.
- Computer Games, Imagery, Microsoft, XboxXbox One Vs. An Ordinary Brick
- Xbox One vs. An Ordinary Brick: Price, DRM Free, Requires Internet, Region Locked…
- America, Guns, Imagery, Police, RacistAnd I Was All Like, Pew Pew Pew!
- And I was all like, pew pew pew! Pew pew pew! ‘Merica!
- Computer Games, Computers, ImageryPlay Outside
- It’s a beautiful day. I really want you to go outside and play.
- ImageryHoliday House
- The Holiday House
- Highway Patrol, Police, Speeding, WorkcoverSweet Justice
- Workcover versus the police…
- Babies, ImageryResisting A Rest
- If I refuse to nap… is that resisting a rest?
- Geeky, Imagery, Movies, Star WarsStar Wars
- A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…
- Australia, SexistAussie Men
- Aussie men… struggling with the booze…
- France, Germany, Imagery, RacistAngela Merkel Arrives At Passport Control At Paris Airport…
- Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control at Paris airport. “Nationality?” asks the immigration officer. “German,” she replies. “Occupation?” “No, just here for a few days.”
- Advertising, Imagery, Men, Sexist, SignsThis Year Thousands Of Men Will Die From Stubbornness…
- This year thousands of men will die from stubbornness. No we won’t.
- SexistAustralia And Mateship
- Mateship amongst Men & Women: The differences…
- Imagery, Toilets, VandalismToilet Vandalism
- We buy things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like…
- Geeky, ImageryBlackboard
- School kid writing Code on blackboard as punishment.
- Imagery, PhonesPhone Tails
- That’s right dear, our ancestors had tails.
- Political, RisquéHillary Clinton Goes To Her Doctor For A Physical…
- Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical…
- Alcohol, Animals, Dogs, Imagery, Skateboards, Smoking, WineBad Dog Is Banned From The Park
- I don’t know who this dog is or why he is banned from this park, but he certainly seems like a lot of fun.
- Geeky, InternetAmusing Chat
- Humour from the world of Internet Chat
- Bankruptcy, Divorce, Imagery, LiquorBankruptcy, Divorce, Liquor
- Bankruptcy, Divorce, Liquor.
- Animals, Boats, Fish, Fishing, ImageryGive A Man A Fish And He Has Food For A Day
- Give a man a fish and he has food for a day. Teach a man to fish and he has to buy bamboo rods, graphite reels, monofilament lines, neoprene waders, creels, tackleboxes, lures, flies, spinners, worm rigs, slip sinkers, offset hooks, gore-tex hats, 20 pocket vests, fish finders, depth sounders, radar, boats, trailers, global positioning systems, coolers and six-packs.
- Advertising, Imagery, Skype, VintageSkype
- Vintage Skype advert.
- Internet, RisquéCybersex How-Not-To
- Cybersex how it should not be…
- Art, Imagery, RenaissanceYou Weren’t Even Listening Just Now, Were You?
- You weren’t even listening just now, were you? What a weird way to start a conversation.
- ImageryProblem Solving Flowchart
- A simple, and humorous, flowchart that successfully troubleshoots almost any problem you can think of.
- Africa, Imagery, RacistEvery 60 Seconds In Africa
- Every 60 seconds in Africa… a minute passes.
- ReligiousThe Atheist & The Bear
- The Atheist and the Religious Bear
- Geeky, ItDeclaration Of A Software Professional
- Declaration of a Software Professional.
- ReligiousCommon Belief
- The belief that there was nothing…
- Imagery, Movies, PiratesHorny Pirate’s Worst Nightmare
- What’s a horny pirate’s worst nightmare?
- Animals, Imagery, ZebrasZebra Crossing
- Zebra Crossing…
- Bones, Imagery, SkeletonsThe Average Human Body Contains Enough Bones
- The average human body contains enough bones to make an entire human skeleton.
- Accidents, Animals, Canada, Imagery, Moose, News, TvCanadian News
- Canadian News: Quebec snowmobiler dies after driving under a moose.
- Accidents, Cars, ImageryPass With Care
- Pass with care…
- Apple, Computers, Decals, Imagery, Laptops, Mac, Macbook, Stickers, TechnologyCreative Apple MacBook Stickers
- A collection of creative Apple MacBook stickers & decals.
- Illusion, ImageryThey See Us Rollin’
- They See Us Rollin’… We Aren’t…
- Betas, Bugs, Calendars, Cartoons, Imagery, MayansMayan’s Beta Calendar Bug
- …to get to the point; why does your calendar end in 2012? Oh, that’s just a temporary problem in the beta version!
- Imagery, SpidersSpider’s Remember
- Remember when you threw a shoe at me and I fell somewhere behind the bed? I remember too.
- Beer, Geeky, Imagery, WorkUltimate Camouflage
- An office beer fridge…
- Facebook, Geeky, Imagery, InternetGoogle+ Versus Facebook
- Google Plus versus Facebook
- Animals, Cats, ImageryAbercrombie & Cat
- Abercrombie & Cat
- Animals, Chocolate, Dogs, Heaven, ImageryA Dog Dies: Can I Have Chocolate?
- A dog dies and finds out chocolate killed him.
- Imagery, PhonesJester App
- Sorry–you've been replaced by an app…
- Imagery, Risqué, SexistThe Lift
- A man and woman meet outside an elevator door…
- Advertising, Apple, Computers, Geeky, Imagery, MacMac Weed
- A take-off of the Apple Macintosh switch ads.
- Forecasting, ImageryJohn’s Weather Forecasting Stone
- One of the most reliable ways of forecasting…
- All Your Base, Geeky, Imagery, InternetAll Your Base...
- All your base are belong to us.
- Advertising, Cigarettes, Imagery, Risqué, Sexist, VintageBlow In Her Face
- Blow in her face and she'll follow you anywhere.
- Advertising, Cooking, Imagery, Sexist, VintageCook – That’s What Wives Are For!
- The Chef does everything but cook – that’s what wives are for!
- Bill Gates, Imagery, Mario, North Korea, Star Wars, WinrarThe Good Guys Of The World
- These are the Good Guys of the World.
- Risqué, SexKeep Your Mouth Shut
- If you don’t believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut!
- Children, Imagery, Sexist, ToysTo Avoid Perpetuating Gender Stereotypes
- To avoid perpetuating gender stereotypes, I gave my daughter a mix of dolls and toy cars to play with. This is what happened…
- Animals, Geckos, Trumpets, TrustYou Know What Doesn’t Grow Back, Susan? Trust!
- You know what doesn’t grow back, Susan? Trust!
- Australia, Imagery, Matches, Pauline Hanson, Political, Redheads, RednecksRednecks
- Redneck Matches…
- Advertising, Babies, ImageryGood Things Are Twice As Good In Cellophane
- Good things are twice as good in Cellophane!
- Imagery, SexistBefore And After...
- Before and after marriage…
- CarsMini Cooper
- A guy driving a Mini Cooper pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce…
- Education, Imagery, School, TeachersExplain These Bad Grades
- 1969: A child’s parents blame him for his bad grades. Today: A child’s parents blame his teacher for his bad grades.
- Imagery, Phones, SmsStreet Name
- Hey, what’s your street name?
- Books, Imagery, Racist, ShopsWong Fook Hing Book Store
- If you cannot find the book that you are looking for, then you’re obviously in the… Wong Fook Hing Book Store!
- Australia, Cricket, Imagery, VideoHow Cricket Looks To Most People
- How Cricket Looks to Most People.
- Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Linux, Mac, WindowsUpdate Available
- An update is available for your computer…
- Animals, Imagery, Languages, Latin, PigsPig Latin
- Pig Latin…
- Accidents, Cars, Imagery, TrucksThe Road To Success
- On the road to success, there are no shortcuts…
- Imagery, Sexist, Tv, WomenCooking Shows
- If we watched cooking shows the way guys watch sports.
- Bras, Imagery, UnderwearSupport Bras
- Supportive support bras…
- Jewish, RacistBacon Tree
- Back in cowboy times, a westbound wagon train was lost and low on food…
- Animals, Imagery, RacistBlack Bears
- Uh oh Howard. Looks like this area has black bears…
- Imagery, Osama Bin Laden, Sport, Terrorists, Weight LiftingOsama Bin Liftin’
- Osama Bin Liftin’
- MedicalSeek And Find You…
- I shall seek and find you…
- ImageryBatman Downsized
- Batman forced to downsize with increase in petrol prices…
- Animated, Babies, Fireworks, ImageryFirst Time Seeing Fireworks
- A baby sees fireworks for the first time.
- Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, SexistAmazing Hidden Images
- Amazing Hidden Images!
- Funerals, Imagery, Italian, RacistThe Italian Funeral
- Pasquale died. His will provided ,000 for an elaborate funeral…
- Imagery, School24 Chickens
- 24 Chickens: The shoe rack at the front door…
- ImageryMartha Stewart’s New Digs
- Martha Stewart’s New Digs
- Cartoons, Comics, Imagery, MoviesThe Bat Cave
- The location of our Bat Cave is meant to be secret, so stop checking in!
- Emergency, Imagery, Out Of OrderEmergency: Out Of Order
- Please do not have an emergency!
- Sexist, WorkDon’t Copy If You Can’t Paste
- Don’t copy if you can’t paste…
- ImageryMissed You...
- Image of a soldier pointing a gun towards the camera with caption “When you first left, I missed you badly… I WONT THIS TIME”
- Clouds, Computers, Imagery, TechnologyWhat Are Clouds Made Of?
- Daddy, what are clouds made of?
- Comics, Imagery, VeganI Am Going Vegan
- I am going vegan
- Brooms, Imagery, Parking, Sexist, Witches, WomenWomen Can’t Park
- Who said that women can’t park?
- Food, ImageryPeanut Delivery
- Peanut Delivery…
- ImageryTrapped Miners
- The first photo of the trapped miners…
- Bananas, Food, Hats, ImageryBanana Hat
- Banana hat…
- Illusion, ImageryShake Your Head
- Shake your head
- Coronavirus, Imagery, Video Conferencing, Work, ZoomCoronavirus Zoom Conference
- Zoom Conference: Can everyone hear me?
- Geeky, InternetUsing AOL? Mind If We LOL?
- Using AOL? Mind if we LOL?
- Self-checkout, Shopping, Technology, TerminatorUnexpected Item In Bagging Area.
- It’s not unexpected, you literally just told me what it is…
- WorkRejection Response
- The next time you get a rejection letter from a hoped-for employer or publisher, just send them the following…
- Animals, Beavers, Birds, Cats, Dogs, Fish, Frogs, Horses, Imagery, Puns, Rabbits, ZebraPunny Animals
- Who ever invented the “knock-knock jokes” should get a no-bell prize!
- Imagery, TurtlesA Wee Turtle
- A wee turtle…
- Animals, Fire, Imagery, SpidersThere Was A Spider, I Panicked
- There was a spider, I panicked. But I think it’s gone now.
- AudioPsychiatric Answering Machine
- A Psychiatric Office Answering Machine.
- Imagery, Michael Jackson, Performers, SingersMichael Jackson Is Dead
- You Can Come Out Now…
- Imagery, SexistEscape From The Kitchen
- You thought you could escape from the kitchen didn’t you?
- Coffee, Religious, SexistMorning Coffee
- A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning…
- English, VegetablesThe Correct Way To Spell Potato
- The correct way to spell potato is “GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU”.
- Advertising, Imagery, Motorola, Tv, VintageTelevision Benefits Your Children
- How television benefits your children.
- Animated, Flash, Geeky, ImageryL33t H4x0r H4ml37
- Tales for the L33T PATR TOO - HAMLET
- Beer, Imagery, Logan, Prams, Racist, Victoria BitterLogan Priorities
- Logan Priorities.
- Evolution, Imagery, ZombiesZombie Evolution
- The evolution of Zombies
- JokesToday Is Sunday
- Attention! Today is Sunday. Share this on your Facebook wall. Within seven days you’ll get another Sunday…
- Credit Cards, Genies, Imagery, Sexist, WomenIrresistible To Women
- Make me irresistible to women
- Comics, Education, ImageryUnused Diploma.
- I’d like to return this. It’s unused. This is your diploma. Cash is fine.
- Children, ParentingWhy Parents Drink
- Why parents drink.
- Redneck, TechnologyTechnology For Country Folk
- Technology for Country Folk.
- SchoolThe History Of The World
- The History of the World, as written by the next generation…
- Imagery, Metaphors, Star WarsMetaphors Be With You
- Metaphors be with you
- Cars, Imagery, Time TravelAnnual Meeting Of Time Travellers
- Annual Meeting of Time Travellers.
- ImageryThe Ego Boost Urinal
- The Ego Boost Urinal.
- Apple, Imagery, Ipad, Portal, Technology, ValveValve’s “Portal”, As An IPad Decoration.
- Valve’s “Portal”, as an iPad decoration.
- Animals, Animated, Giraffes, ImageryHidden Giraffe
- If you stare at this picture long enough you should be able to see a giraffe…
- Bipolar, Graffiti, Imagery, SignsBipolar Awesome
- I hate being bi-polar. It’s awesome.
- Image, Qut, UniversityQUT: University For The Real World
- Will we find intelligent life?
- Autocorrect, Imagery, Iphone, SmsBroken Penis
- I broke my penis and it exploded all over my pants.
- Imagery, WorkMeetings
- The practical alternative to work.
- Alcohol, Animated, Fire, Imagery, Racist, Russia, SneezingIn Russia People Sneeze Fire
- In Russia people sneeze fire after drinking lots of vodka.
- Elderly, Hearing Aids, ImageryExpensive Hearing Aid
- A man was telling his neighbour, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.”
- Einstein, ImageryYou Matter
- You are living, you occupy space, you have a mass… you matter.
- Energy Drinks, Geeky, Imagery, Rubiks CubesMonster Energy Drinks & Rubiks Cubes
- Monster energy drinks & Rubiks Cubes: Dude. You have a problem. Problem solved!
- Computer Games, ImageryVideo Games Ruined My Life
- Video games ruined my life. Good thing I have two more.
- Buffering, Buffy, Imagery, TvBuffy Buffering
- Buffy buffering…
- Astronauts, Coronavirus, Imagery, Nasa, SpaceCoronavirus Space Crew
- Congratulations, your mission is now complete. You may return to Earth.
- Medical, RisquéBetter Than A Flu Shot
- Better than a Flu Shot
- Animated, Chris Coutts, Flash, Imagery, No Effort OnlineChris Coutts: No Effort Online: What Does Suxor Mean 2
- Chris Coutts: No Effort Online flash animations
- Food, Imagery, ThymeToo Much Thyme On My Hands
- I’ve got way too much tyme on my hands.
- Australia, Imagery, Logan, RacistAll Trades Logan
- All Trades Logan.
- Animals, Birds, Chickens, Imagery, Rock And RollChook Heavy Metal Guitarist
- A heavy metal guitarist chicken
- America, Coronavirus, Imagery, Political, Presidents, TrumpInject Yourselves With Disinfectant!
- Inject Yourselves with Disinfectant!
- Geeky, ImageryReach Out
- Reach Out!
- Imagery, Toilet PaperToilet Paper
- A piece of toilet paper saving another piece…
- Jokes, RisquéWhere Is Amanda’s Husband?
- Amanda is 21 years older than her son John. In 6 years from now, Amanda will be 5 times as old as John…
- Political, RacistLetter To America
- Letter to America
- Animals, Cats, Imagery, SignsHelp Cat Neds Air
- Please don’t let the cat out. No matter what it tells you!
- English, WordsWhat Is A Word Made Up Of 4 Letters Yet Is Also Made Up Of 3
- What is a word made up of 4 letters yet is also made up of 3. Although is written with 8 letters, and then with 4. Rarely consists of 6, and never is written with 5.
- Animals, Chickens, Chicks, ImageryHow To Pick Up Chicks
- Instructional guide on how to pick up chicks.
- Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, PhonesIPhone 6 Comparison
- iPhone 6 Plus Comparison.
- ImageryButtons
- Lots of buttons…
- Animated, Chris Coutts, Flash, Imagery, No Effort OnlineChris Coutts: No Effort Online: Ugly Whore
- Chris Coutts: No Effort Online flash animations
- Cooking, Imagery, Smoke DetectorsWhat Smoke Detectors Warn You About
- What smoke detectors warn you about.
- Bikes, Imagery, NoticesBicycles Chained To These Railings Will Be Removed Without Notice.
- Bicycles chained to these railings will be removed without notice. This is a notice, you idiot!
- Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryCat: The Dog Went Missing
- Cat: The dog went missing? Hahaha! Hahaha! I’m sorry human. Hahaha… no seriously, I’m so sad…
- Animals, Cars, Donkeys, ImageryA BMW Donkey
- A BMW donkey. Not much more to be said really.
- English, ImageryMissing The Point
- Missing the point
- Animals, Animated, Imagery, PenguinsPenguin Falls
- Penguin falling on ice.
- DrugsGranny LSD
- Boy asks his Granny, “Have you seen my pills labelled ‘LSD’?”
- AlcoholCalm Living
- I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me today, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives.
- Animals, Imagery, JokeThe World’s Funniest Joke
- The World’s Funniest Joke…
- Imagery, PoliticalMad Magazine’s Boy Grows Up
- The boy from Mad Magazine morphing into George Bush.
- Illusion, ImageryHinton’s “Lilac Chaser”
- The Dotty Illusion…
- Hippies, Imagery, ShirtsPassive Agressive Hippie
- Passive Agressive Hippie: You want a [peace sign] of me?
- Aztecs, Imagery, Mayans, OreosMayan, Aztec And Oreos
- Mayan, Aztec and Oreos…
- Animals, Flamingos, ImageryGarden Flamingo
- Garden Flamingo…
- Computer Games, Education, Games, Imagery, Internet, Minecraft, School, TestsMinecraft: Create A Simple Door
- Describe a process that could be used to create a simple door.
- Computers, Geeky, It, Technology101 Things You Do Not Want...
- 101 Things You Do Not Want Your System Administrator to say.
- Animals, Penguins, SleepIf Penguins Have Knees
- 3 out of 4 voices in my head want to sleep (the other wants to know if penguins have knees!)
- Imagery, Nigerians, Racist, ScamsRich Nigerians
- Nigerian man dies and authorities find billion in his apartment…
- Imagery, Paper, Plants, TreesIrony: Drawing Trees On Paper
- Irony: Drawing trees on paper.
- Animals, Books, Dolphins, Imagery, LibrariesTo Punch A Dolphin In The Mouth
- 5 very good reasons to punch a dolphin in the mouth.
- Animals, Fish, ImageryCan February March? No, But April May.
- Can February March? No, but April May.
- ImageryWhat Is A Sonofabitch?
- What is a sonofab*tch, exactly?
- SexistGirl’s And Boy’s Diaries
- A girl and a boy and their diaries…
- Australia, Iraq, PoliticalThe Australian Constitution: For Iraq
- They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq…
- ImageryI See Dumb People
- I see dumb people… They are everywhere!
- Chewing Gum, Imagery, WarningsDo Not Swallow Chewing Gum
- Warning: Do not swallow chewing gum!
- Animals, Cats, Imagery, KittensNo Sitz
- I be here!
- Illusion, ImageryTwelve Or Thirteen?
- Wait until the group changes position. Is it twelve or thirteen?
- Flash, ImagerySteady Hand – A Game Of Skill
- A game of skill, requiring a steady hand and keen eye – make sure you play at least the first two levels…
- Cars, Imagery, PetrolThe Bank Account Gas Ratio
- The depressing ratio between your bank account, and your gas tank.
- Animals, RisquéThe Lone Ranger
- The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an Indian war party…
- Animated, Flash, Illusion, ImageryIllusions
- Warning: May induce epilepsy or cardiac arrest…
- Imagery, Musicians, Rolling Stones, ZombiesZombies!
- Zombies! Oh, wait… false alarm, it’s just the Rolling Stones… carry on!
- Animals, Cats, Imagery, SmsCat Facts
- Thanks for signing up for Cat Facts!
- Imagery, Motorbikes, RisquéSexy Motorbike
- I am not too sure what to say about this…
- Chocolate, Geeky, Homes, Honey, Imagery, Milk, PhonesQuite Literally…
- I phone, you tube. Hi honey, I’m home. Chocolate milk shake.
- Animals, Jokes, Puns, Racing, SnailsI Took The Shell Off My Racing Snail, Thinking It Would Make Him Run Faster.
- I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster.
- Bananas, Food, Imagery, SuicideSuicidal Bananas
- A collection of suicidal bananas.
- Imagery, PiracyPiracy Is Not Theft
- Imagine your car gets stolen, but it’s still there in the morning.
- Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryDear Dog
- Dear Dog… a letter from the cat.
- Computers, Geeky, ImageryWhenever I Have To Force Shutdown
- Whenever I have to force shutdown.
- Animated, Chris Coutts, Flash, Imagery, No Effort OnlineChris Coutts: No Effort Online: What Does Suxor Mean?
- Chris Coutts: No Effort Online flash animations
- ImageryStatistics That Matter: The Pie Chart
- A new take on the traditional pie… chart.
- Animals, Animated, ImageryLesson Of The Day
- You should never do anything wrong, it will catch up with you…
- Cartoons, Fire, Imagery, StairsIn Case Of Fire, Take Stairs
- In case of fire, take stairs.
- SexistPerfect Riddle
- Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met…
- Cars, Imagery, Logan, My Family Stickers, Racist, StickersLogan My Family Stickers
- Logan My Family Stickers.
- Imagery, Israeli, Palestinian, Political, RacistIsraeli Settlers
- Of course we want peace–this piece and this piece and this piece and this piece…
- Arthur C Clarke, Astrology, QuotationsI Don’t Believe In Astrology
- I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re sceptical.
- Imagery, Sexist, WomenFeminine Instincts
- If a girl ever pulls out a knife on you during an argument, pull out some bread and mayo. Her feminine instincts will kick in and she’ll make you a sandwich.
- ☺Pregnancy & Women: Questions
- Pregnancy & Women: Frequently Asked Questions
- Blacks, Imagery, RacistBlacks For Sale
- They can still do that?
- Alcohol, Drunk, ImagerySlur In Cursive
- When I drink, I don’t slur my words… I speak in cursive.
- ImagerySpring Is Just Around The Corner
- Finally… Spring is just around the corner.
- Bogans, Imagery, Iphone, SpeakersBogan Bass
- Bogan Bass: Yet somehow still better than Beats by Dr Dre.
- Animals, Birds, Crows, Imagery, TrucksCrows Killed By Trucks
- Why are so many crows killed by trucks?
- Alligators, America, Animals, Australia, Bears, Birds, Crocodiles, Europe, Imagery, Moose, Puma, Rabbits, Sharks, Snakes, SpidersMost Dangerous Animals
- How people in the colonies are still alive is beyond me…
- ☺The Fellowship Of The Ring
- The Fellowship of the Ring.
- Animals, Joke, PigsThree Little Piggies
- Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night…
- Cars, Imagery, MosquitosA Mosquito With A Helmet
- Mosquitos flying towards a car.
- Flying, Imagery, SportFlying – Because Golf Only Takes One Ball
- Flying – because softball, baseball, football, basketball, soccer, bowling and golf only take one ball.
- Animals, ImageryGeneral Hierarchical Management Structure
- I’ve never seen a Flow Chart described so clearly.
- Campervans, Camping, Cars, ImageryNot A Happy Camper
- Not a Happy Camper.
- Animals, Birds, Imagery, Missing Posters, Paper, Pigeons, PostersHave You Seen This Bird?
- I met this bird by the tree near the library. We chilled for like, 5 minutes, & then without any warning he just flew away. We really hit it off. So if you see him, please let him know I miss him.
- Australia, Cars, Floods, Imagery, MechanicalDunno Mate, Maybe She’s Flooded?
- Dunno mate, maybe she’s flooded?
- Cars, Computers, GeekyMicrosoft Car
- Microsoft and General Motors on the Automobile.
- ImageryWill Not Load Fully
- This picture will not load fully!
- Risqué, SexistMating Bulls
- A man took his wife to the Rodeo and one of the exhibits is that of breeding bulls…
- Australia, Democracy, Imagery, Political, RisquéAmazing Holes
- Amazing Holes from Around the World.
- Animated, Illusion, ImageryTwo Person Optical Illusion
- Optical illusion: Keep your eyes on the cross, and see what happens.
- Alcohol, Beer, Imagery, WineIn Wine There Is Truth
- In Wine there is Truth. In Beer there is Strength. In Water there is Bacteria.
- Cosmetics, ImageryPapercut Locator
- Papercut Locator.
- Aeroplanes, Buses, Cars, Electricity, Firefighters, Imagery, VaccinesRe-Think Vaccines
- Next time someone tells you to re-think vaccines, show them this.
- Imagery, Kim Jong-un, North Korea, SnickersKim, Eat A Snickers
- Kim Jong-un: I’m going to nuke everyone. Kim, eat a Snickers. Kim: Why? Because you turn into a war mongler when you’re hungry. Better? Kim: Better.
- Bikes, ImagerySquare Bike
- Surprisingly good riding down stairs… not so good on the flat.
- Animals, Bears, Guns, ImageryWhat Is The Smallest Calibre You Trust To Protect Yourself?
- I remember one time while hiking with my girlfriend in northern Alberta and out of nowhere came this huge brown bear charging us, and was she mad!
- Guitars, Imagery, MusicFree Air Guitars
- Christmas Gift Ideas: Free Air Guitars.
- Buses, ImageryGo Home Bus, You’re Drunk!
- Go home bus, you’re drunk!
- Fruit, Grapes, ImageryBeware The Grapes Of Wrath
- Beware the Grapes of Wrath.
- Cyclones, Imagery, SupermarketsCyclone Magic Trick
- Wanna see a magic trick?
- Animals, Cats, Imagery, RacoonsCat Found
- Cat Found. Very aggressive.
- Animals, Dogs, Imagery, Phones, SmsTexts From My Dog
- My dog sends me texts…
- Imagery, Phones, SmsChosen One
- I’m the chosen one…
- Alcohol, ChemistryAlcohol Is A Solution
- Not to get technical but according to chemistry alcohol is a solution.
- ImageryCute Party Trick
- Man with finger up nose and out of eye.
- Books, ImageryScary Campfire Stories: Book Style
- And then… after they had ripped out half of her pages… they turned her… into a movie!
- Imagery, Psychotherapists, SignsPsycho The Rapist
- Psycho the Rapist It’s one word George!
- America, RacistAmerican State Mottos
- American State Mottos…
- Farmers, Imagery, Men, Swimming, WomenThe Clever Old Man
- One evening an old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond…
- GeekyUnusual EBay Feedback
- A+++! Would read this amusing page again…
- Animals, Imagery, SharksMisunderstood Sharks
- Misunderstood Sharks.
- Imagery, PunsThe Highest Form Of Flattery
- Plateaus: The highest form of flattery.
- Animals, Animated, Dogs, Imagery, TonguesDog Tongue
- A dog with a very long tongue.
- Imagery, Seniors, WarDrafting Guys Over 60
- New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!
- Geeky, JokesIP Jokes
- I’d tell you a UDP joke, but you may not get it.
- Alphabet, Games, ImageryAlphabet Game
- The Alphabet Game is a car game played to amuse travellers on long car rides.
- Board Games, Imagery, SexistWomen’s Monopoly
- By a man…
- ImageryCharlie Sheen For Halloween
- No, you can’t be Charlie Sheen for Halloween.
- Australia, Games, Imagery, Logan, Monopoly, RacistLogan Monopoly
- Logan Monopoly…
- Jewellery, Jokes, Puns, RingsSomeone Stole My Mood Ring
- Someone stole my mood ring.
- Animals, Bananas, Birds, Food, Imagery, ParrotsBanana Parrot Terrorism
- A parrot eating bananas.
- Advertising, Clothing, Fashion, Imagery, SexistWhy Men Die Before Women
- Why men die before women.
- Agony Aunt, Cheating, Clinton, Dear Abby, Dear Abby, Political, RelationshipsDear Abby, My Husband Is A Liar And A Cheat…
- My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything…
- Imagery, New Years, ResolutionsNew Year’s Resolutions – Again
- New Year’s Resolutions – Again
- Air Force, Fighter Jets, Imagery, Jets, NavyWrong Button
- Fighter jet hits the wrong button.
- RisquéThe Hypnotist
- It was entertainment night at the senior centre and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill…
- Guns, ImageryThe Last Known Picture Taken Of Grandpa
- A woman inadvertently points a gun towards a man.
- Mechanics, UnderwearAlways Wear Underwear
- Always wear underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle…
- Alcohol, Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, WindowsWindows: File Missing
- Windows cannot find the file. Would you like some wine instead?
- Australia, New Zealand, RacistKiwi Pig Sheep
- Voted Best Joke of the Year in Australia…
- Food, Imagery, WorkKikkoman When He’s Down
- Your boss called to say you’re fired. So I bought your favourite soy sauce…
- InternetMoronic Email Scam
- Nigerian spam…
- Imagery, RisquéFlower Porn
- Even flowers do it…
- America, Imagery, Obama, PoliticalBarack Obama: What I Actually Do
- Barack Obama: What I actually do.
- Imagery, NinjasNinja Exit
- Ninja Exit Only
- Australia, PoliticalCostello’s Reward For Being Loyal
- Costello’s reward for being loyal…
- Imagery, MondaysShortest Horror Story: Monday
- Shortest horror story: Monday.
- Food, Imagery, SexistBut God, She Won’t Even Make Me A Sandwich…
- But God, She Won’t Even Make Me a Sandwich…
- Imagery, Unicorns, Unicycles, UnitardsUnicorn, Unitard, Unicycle
- Unicorn in a unitard on a unicycle.
- Imagery, MoviesThere Are Three Kinds Of People: Impatient, Patient, And Rich.
- There are three kinds of people: Impatient, patient, and rich.
- Hats, Imagery, SportYou Can’t Beat Stupid…
- I wish they would invent something to keep the sun out of my eyes…
- Animated, Chris Coutts, Flash, Imagery, No Effort OnlineChris Coutts: No Effort Online
- Chris Coutts: No Effort Online flash animations
- Drugs, Homophobia, Imagery, Marijuana, MedicalMedical Marijuana
- What disease is your medical marijuana relieving?
- Books, ImageryRead Your Book Case
- A bookcase worth reading.
- Animals, Imagery, LlamasGet In The Llama
- No time to explain! Get in the llama…
- Imagery, SexistDifference Between Men And Women
- The difference between men and women…
- Imagery, Mafia, RecruitersRecruiters Are One Step Above The Mafia
- Recruiters are one step above the Mafia…
- Computers, Geeky, ImagerySpeed Reader
- Wow you read that fast! You must be a speed reader!
- America, Animals, Australia, Britain, Cows, India, Irish, PoliticalYou Have Two Cows
- The eponymous cows is used to demonstrate the advantages and flaws of certain economic systems.
- Advertising, Feminine Hygiene, Imagery, Sexist, VintagePlease, Dave… Please Don’t Let Me Be Locked Out From You!
- Please, Dave… please don’t let me be locked out from you! For complete feminine hygiene rely on Lysol – a concentrated germ-killer!
- Illusion, ImageryAfterburn - Whom Do You See?
- Relax and concentrate on the four small dots in the middle of the picture…
- Dishes, ImageryDishes
- Dishes: They don’t do themselves.
- ☺100 Guidelines On Becoming An Evil Villain
- World domination is everyone’s dream. It’s not a bad job really…
- PoliticalBush And The Queen
- While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen…
- Evolution, ImageryEvolution: Stop Following Me!
- The typical “evolution of man” poster, except the man is facing his “earlier ancestors” saying “Stop following me!”
- Animals, Cats, Egyptians, God, ImageryHow To Distract An Egyptian God
- How to distract an Egyptian God
- Alphabet, Doctors, ImageryThe Medical Alphabet
- The Medical Alphabet
- Animals, Dogs, ImagerySo We Got Pugsy A New Chew Toy…
- So we got Pugsy a new chew toy…
- Computers, GeekyMicrosoft Lightbulb Jokes
- Microsoft Lightbulb Jokes.
- Animated, ImageryA Teaser
- You must stare very closely at the door in this image for around 30 seconds…
- Animals, DogsTalking Dog For Sale
- A man sees a sign outside a house – “Talking Dog for Sale.”
- Animals, Carrots, Food, Imagery, Rabbits, VegetablesSuccess Is Not Always What You See
- Success is not always what you see…
- Advertising, Gay, Imagery, Showers, VintageBradley Group Showers
- Bradley Group Showers.
- Imagery, RacistHas One Night Stand
- Has one night stand, but way too many books to fit on it.
- Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, Nokia, PhonesIPhone 5 Plus Versus Nokia 3310
- iPhone 6 Plus versus Nokia 3310: Does it bend?
- Comics, ImageryThe Street Is Closed
- Oh no—we’re trapped in here. The street is closed.
- Imagery, Jokes, Paper, Puns, SignsTearable Puns
- These are tearable puns.
- Banks, ImageryI Was Going To Make A Joke About A Bank, But Then I Lost Interest…
- I was going to make a joke about a bank, but then I lost interest…
- Food, ImageryWurst Nightmare
- Hi. I’m your wurst nightmare.
- Babies, Imagery, RisquéI Will Deprive You Of Sex
- I will deprive you of sex all night with my crying and then suck on your wife’s tits in the morning.
- Imagery, SignsAlways Give 100%
- Whatever you do always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.
- Acrobats, Books, ImageryAcrobat Reader
- An acrobat reader…
- Guns, Imagery, Mp3, Mp4, Mp5Well, That Escalated Quickly
- Well, that escalated quickly.
- Animals, Dogs, Imagery, Werewolves, WolvesAware Wolf
- A werewolf. A wearwolf. A warewolf. Aware wolf.
- Board Games, ImageryMarry Me
- Scrabble Edition.
- Animals, Bunnies, Chocolate, Easter, Food, Imagery, RabbitsEaster Bunnies
- Chocolate Easter Bunnies: My butt hurts! What?
- Animals, Conspiracies, Dogs, Imagery, SheepThat Conspiracy Stuff
- I’m telling you – the man and the dog are definitely working together…
- Geeky, Imagery, InternetSlashdot For Dummies
- Slashdot for Dummies – A Reference for the Rest of Us!
- Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Internet Explorer, Opera, SafariIE Retarded
- I hope he doesn’t say something retarded…
- Cars, ImageryHome Mechanics
- Home Mechanics and their cars.
- ☺Foot Smart
- See if you can outsmart your foot…
- Advertising, Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Phones, TechnologyIPhone 10 – The Tallest IPhone Yet
- A mock-up of the iPhone 10, after the launch of the “taller” iPhone5.
- SexistCIA Assassin
- The CIA had an opening for an assassin…
- Geeky, Imagery, Sexist, WomenHazardous Materials Data Sheet – Woman
- Hazardous Materials Data Sheet – Woman.
- Imagery, Internet, SwordsSwords Of The Centuries
- Swords of the Centuries
- Advertising, Babies, Beer, Imagery, Mothers, VintageHow Mother And Baby “Picked Up”
- Blatz Beer: How Mother and Baby “Picked Up”.
- Comics, Guns, Hands, ImageryHands In The Air!
- Hands in the air! Now wave them around like you just don’t care!
- Imagery, Keith Urban, MusiciansKeith Urban Accepted As Genuine Humanoid
- Clint Felmingham: Did you know? Keith Urban is accepted by many Americans as a genuine humanoid/musician. Urban, a polymer composite (90% polyethene, 8% alcohol, 2% minor celebrity), was manufactured in Caboolture, Australia in 1987..
- Cars, ImageryFail Towing
- Thank You for Using Fail Towing, Inc.
- Animals, Cars, Children, Girls, Horses, ImageryNo Pony For Christmas
- No pony for Christmas? No window for driving!
- Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery, WorkMario: Happy
- Quit your day job and do what makes you happy.
- Animals, Food, ImageryBoiled Lobster
- “I hate the way they scream when you boil them!”
- Bags, Imagery, ShoppingI’ll Be Bag
- A bag titled “I’ll Be Bag”
- Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Internet ExplorerBrowser Wars
- Browser Wars: Chrome versus Firefox… and Internet Explorer…
- Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, Shoes, VintageWhere She Belongs
- Keep her where she belongs…
- Angry Birds, Animals, Australia, Birds, Computer Games, ImageryAngry Birds Australia
- Angry Birds Australia…
- Christmas, Christmas Lights, ImageryChristmas Lights: Ditto
- Ditto to that…
- Coathangers, Imagery, WarningsDo Not Swallow Coathangers!
- Caution: Do Not Swallow Coathangers!
- Animals, Cats, Ducks, Imagery, Robots, Sharks, VacuumsRobot Vacuum Cat Shark Duck Chase
- Robot Vacuum Cat Shark Duck Chase.
- Balloons, Birthdays, ImageryBalloons Are So Weird…
- Balloons are so weird… “Happy Birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath”
- Animals, Imagery, SlugsFeeling Sluggish
- I’ve been feeling a bit sluggish…
- ☺News Headlines
- Amusing news headlines
- Imagery, SexistHusband Glasses
- I’m returning these glasses I bought for my husband. He’s still not seeing things my way.
- Geeky, ItNetwork Truths
- The Twelve Networking Truths.
- Apple, Imagery, Ios, PatentsOlden Day Slide To Unlock
- Slide to unlock: Apple patent #1964022.
- Animals, Cats, ImageryJust Wait Until I’m Fully Charged
- Just wait until I’m fully charged…
- Africa, Animals, Imagery, Lions, SafarisShould I Tell Them I’m Here?
- Should I tell them I’m here?
- ImageryBefore Tweeting
- In case of fire: Exit building before tweeting about it.
- Computers, Imagery, InternetNew Mail
- 10 years ago…
- Australia, Coronavirus, Imagery, Political, Politicians, Scott MorrisonA Visual Representation Of Scott Morrison’s Address To The Nation
- A visual representation of Scott Morrison’s address to the nation tonight
- ImageryMarketing
- Marketing…
- Cars, Imagery, Italy, Racist, Risqué25 Year Old Escort
- But Mr. Berlusconi, you said, “Send a 25 years old escort to my villa!”
- Batman, Imagery, WomenNana Nana Nana Batman!
- Nana Nana Nana Batman!
- Animals, Chocolate, Easter, Easter Bunnies, Imagery, RabbitsJust Some Bunny That I Used To Know
- Now you’re just some bunny that I used to know.
- Hunger Games, Imagery, Katniss Everdeen, Kristen Stewart, Movies, Movie Stars, Smiling, TwilightKristen Stewart Smiles
- I don’t always smile, but when I do, I don’t.
- Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery90’s Gamer
- Everytime I hear people complain about online gaming, I wish they could experience my pain of online gaming in the 90’s…
- ImageryWhy Women Live Longer Than Men
- Genetics - Why women live longer than men.
- Boobs, Imagery, RisquéBoob Staring
- Shirt: Please tell your boobs to quit staring at my eyes.
- Animals, Australia, Emus, WarEmu War
- Result: Emu Victory.
- Imagery, Kitchens, Sexist, WomenFor Too Long The Voice Of Women Has Been Silenced
- For too long the voice of women has been silenced. It’s time they had microphones in kitchens.
- Daleks, Doctor Who, Geeky, RobotsWhat Would Robots From The 1960's…
- What would robots from 1960’s and 1970’s TV say today with current software installed?
- PoliticalScientific Breakthrough – Governmentium
- A major research institution recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named Governmentium.
- ImagerySuperman’s Social Network Nightmare
- Superman’s Social Network Nightmare.
- Animals, ImageryHow Dishwashers Really Work
- How dishwashers really work…
- Bathrooms, Coronavirus, Imagery, Public TransportExperts Recommend Keeping Your Daily Rituals Even While Working From Home
- Experts recommend keeping your daily rituals even while working from home
- SexistMen’s Rules
- We always hear the rules from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side…
- Imagery, InternetProcrastination
- Have a little look at the Internet…
- Accidents, Food, ImageryMilkshake Meets Door
- A woman runs into a door carrying two milkshakes.
- Risqué, Sexist, WorkSentence Structure: Why Sentence Structure Is Important
- Sentence Structure: Why sentence structure is important.
- Advertising, Billboards, ImageryThere Are Two Rules For Success
- There are two rules for success: Never reveal everything you know…
- Animals, Elephants, Imagery, RisquéElephant Upskirt
- Elephant Upskirt.
- Bacon, ImageryTen Pieces Of Bacon
- If I had 10 pieces of bacon, and you took 4, what would you have? Yes, that’s right you’d have a black eye and a bruised hand.
- Animals, ImageryWhat Animals Dream...
- What animals dream.
- Imagery, Jealousy, Relationships, SmsBaby Are You Jealous?
- Baby are you jealous?
- JokesComplimentary Pretzels
- A guy walks into a bar and takes a seat. Before he can order a beer, the bowl of pretzels in front of him says “Hey, you’re a handsome fellow.”
- Imagery, SignsDon’t Grow Up
- Don’t grow up. It’s a trap.
- Imagery, Risqué, SexSex Tape
- I made a sex tape. Shhh!
- Fire, ImageryFire Distinguisher
- Fire Distinguisher: Yep, that’s fire…
- Animals, Boobs, Bras, Cats, ImageryBooby Trap
- Nooo! It’s a booby trap!
- America, English, Imagery, RacistEnglish (Traditional) And English (Simplified)
- English (Traditional) and English (Simplified).
- Imagery, Reincarnation, WoodReincarnation Gone Horribly Wrong
- Reincarnation gone horribly wrong
- Cars, ReligiousRoad Rage
- Two cars were waiting at a stoplight. The light turned green, but the man didn’t notice it…
- Animated, Chris Coutts, Flash, Imagery, No Effort OnlineChris Coutts: No Effort Online: Tales For The L33T: ROMEO+JULIET
- Chris Coutts: No Effort Online flash animations
- Crocs, Friday The 13th, Imagery, Jason Voorhees, Movies, ShoesJason Voorhees Gets Crocs
- Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th) gets Crocs.
- Imagery, Risqué, SexistInteresting ATM
- Man using a sexually provocative ATM.
- Animals, Ducklings, Ducks, ImageryBeware Of Cute Duckling Scam
- Beware of Cute Duckling Scam…
- Animals, Imagery, SharksSharks Are A Lot Friendlier Without Pointy Teeth
- Sharks are a lot friendlier without pointy teeth.
- Aeroplanes, Imagery, Oceans, SubmarinesSubmarines In The Sky
- Did you know that there are more planes in the sea than there are submarines in the sky?
- Daughters, Families, Imagery, MothersMum, What’s It Like To Have The Greatest Daughter In The World?
- Mum, what’s it like to have the greatest daughter in the world? I don’t know dear… you’ll have to ask grandma.
- America, Congress, Imagery, It Crowd, PoliticalCongress: Have You Tried Turning It Off And On Again?
- Congress: have you tried turning it off and on again?
- Animals, Birds, Imagery, Notices, Parrots, SignsParrot BBQ
- Parrot Lost: Parrot BBQ!
- Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, Sexist, WorkJob Application
- Sexist job application.
- Imagery, KnittingWinter Knitting
- What are you going to knit this winter?
- Geeky, RisquéEUNUCH Programmer's Manual - CONDOM(1)
- The EUNUCH Programmer's Manual - CONDOM(1)
- Awards, Imagery, Jobs, Roads, WorkThe Winner Of The “Not My Job” Award
- The Winner of the “Not My Job” Award goes to…
- Boobs, Imagery, RisquéWater Enhanced Breasts
- Water Enhanced Breasts…
- Money, Quotations, SchwarzeneggerHaving More Money Doesn’t Make You Happier
- Having more money doesn’t make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I’m just as happy as when I had 48 million.
- For Sale, Imagery, Posters, PrintersPrinter For Sale
- Printer For Sale. Works Terribly.
- Australia, Chillis, Food, Racist, TexasAn Australian Chilli Tester In Texas…
- An Australian chilli tester in Texas…
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryHide Yo Kids!
- Hide yo kids! Hide yo wife!
- Religious, RisquéSisters Of St Francis
- Sisters of St. Francis House of Prostitution…
- Imagery, Odin, PoliticalVote Odin
- The left wing said they’d abolish poverty; right wing said they’d abolish bureaucracy. Odin said he’d abolish ice giants. Where are the ice giants? Vote Odin!
- Birth Control, Imagery, RisquéEffective Birth Control
- The most effective birth control method known to man.
- Cars, Imagery, StickersF It
- F-it
- Imagery, PoliceA Cop Just Pulled Me Over And Said “Papers”
- A cop just pulled me over and said “Papers”… so I said “Scissors, I win” and drove off…
- Animals, Imagery, OttersOtter Nonsense
- I’ve had it up to here with your otter nonsense…
- Canada, Imagery, NoticesCanadian Security
- Canadian Security: It may seem rude but for security reasons please do not open the door to strangers.
- Animated, Chris Coutts, Flash, Imagery, No Effort OnlineChris Coutts: No Effort Online: There’s Something About Osmethne
- Chris Coutts: No Effort Online flash animations
- America, Animated, Imagery, Obama, PoliticalThanks, Obama
- Thanks, Obama.
- Imagery, Music, Rock, RocksJust Listening To Some Rock
- Just listening to some rock
- Aboriginal, Australia, Gay, RacistAboriginal Jobs
- At the end of a tiny, deserted bar is a huge Aboriginal bloke…
- America, Democracy, PoliticalHow To Know When You’ve Met A Democrat
- Just in case you have trouble knowing when you’ve met a Democrat…
- Books, ImageryMystery Books
- You have to find them first…
- Imagery, RisquéPull Out & Save
- Save up to $600!
- Australia, Condoms, New Zealand, Racist, RisquéKiwi Condoms
- Australia runs out of condoms…
- Alice In Wonderland, Imagery, Movies, SexistUltimate Chick Flick
- Ultimate chick flick: Two women fighting over a pair of shoes
- Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Imagery, Internet Explorer, Opera, SafariBrowsers: Their Differences
- The differences between the major web browsers.
- Accidents, Animals, Cats, Imagery, LaddersHumans Don’t Land On Their Feet
- Gee you’re right, humans don’t land on their feet.
- Batman, Imagery, Iphone, Phones, SmsI’m Batman
- SMS conversation between Tim and Batman.
- Imagery, SocksThe Divorce Rate Among My Socks Is Astonishing.
- The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.
- Imagery, Jobs, WorkThings Don’t Really Change
- Interviewer: What would you consider to be your greatest weakness?
- GeekyHuman Hotfix
- Hotfix Patch for Humans released.
- Alcohol, Food, Imagery, VodkaVodka Diet: Lose 3 Days In 1 Week
- Vodka Diet: Lose 3 Days in 1 Week.
- Cars, Gardens, ImageryMajor Tom’s Ground Control
- Major Tom’s Ground Control Lawn and Garden Management.
- Mayans, PredictionsMayans Predicting The Future
- Calm down… If the Mayans were good at predicting the future, there would still be Mayans.
- Animals, Boobs, Imagery, SlothsLook At This Boob
- Look at this boob. This is a nice boob.
- WorkPhysical Fitness
- This department requires no physical fitness program.
- ImagerySmile
- Smile…
- Daleks, Dr Who, Food, Garlic, Imagery, TvGarlek
- Garlek.
- Bras, Imagery, New Zealand, Racist, Risqué, SportThe All Blacks Bra
- Introducing the New Zealand All Blacks Bra. All the support, but no cup.
- Animals, Circuses, Dwarfs, Hippopotamuses, ImageryHippo Eats Dwarf
- A hippopotamus has swallowed a dwarf in a circus accident…
- Imagery, Psychotherapists, TherapyHappy People
- If you don’t see happy people, you need therapy!
- Crocs, Imagery, Shoes, WeddingsWedding Crocs
- Wedding Crocs.
- Computers, ImageryInsert Disk Two
- Please insert disk two.
- Eggs, ImageryEscape Egg
- Counting down the days to escape…
- Children, Dating, Imagery, Internet, RisquéLittle Kid Lover
- I’m signing up for an online dating service. I just need to pick a username. “Little Kid Lover”, that way people will know where my priorities are at.
- Imagery, Numbers, Star WarsWhy Was Five Afraid Of Seven?
- Why was Five afraid of Seven? Because Six Seven Eight.