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Search Ned Martin’s Amused
Ned Martin’s Amused Pages
- France, Germany, Imagery, RacistAngela Merkel Arrives At Passport Control At Paris Airport…
- Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control at Paris airport. “Nationality?” asks the immigration officer. “German,” she replies. “Occupation?” “No, just here for a few days.”
- Sexist, WomenWhen A Woman Says “what?”
- When a woman says “what?”, it’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
- ImageryBribing Santa
- Dear Santa, if you leave a new bike under the tree, I will give you the antidote to the poison I put in the milk.
- Children, Dating, Imagery, Internet, RisquéLittle Kid Lover
- I’m signing up for an online dating service. I just need to pick a username. “Little Kid Lover”, that way people will know where my priorities are at.
- Blacks, Imagery, RacistBlacks For Sale
- They can still do that?
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryI Forgot How To Dog
- I forgot how to dog
- Imagery, MusicI’m Not Just Another Brick In The Wall
- We don’t need no education…
- Religious, RisquéSisters Of St Francis
- Sisters of St. Francis House of Prostitution…
- Animals, Horses, Imagery, Knights, Monty Python, Riding, TvCouldn’t Find My Coconut Shells.
- Was gonna ride to work today. Couldn’t find my coconut shells.
- Geeky, InternetDiary Of An AOL Luser
- Diary of an AOL Luser.
- Imagery, Nigerians, Racist, ScamsRich Nigerians
- Nigerian man dies and authorities find billion in his apartment…
- Charts, Computer Games, Imagery, Pacman, Pie ChartsPacman Pie Chart
- The Pacman pie chart.
- Animals, Bananas, Birds, Food, Imagery, ParrotsBanana Parrot Terrorism
- A parrot eating bananas.
- Animals, Birds, Chickens, Imagery, MarriageMarriage: Before & After (Chicken Style)
- Marriage: Before & After (Chicken Style).
- Animated, ImageryA Teaser
- You must stare very closely at the door in this image for around 30 seconds…
- Imagery, Paper, Plants, TreesIrony: Drawing Trees On Paper
- Irony: Drawing trees on paper.
- Animated, Australia, Imagery, Internet, Political, TelstraBuilding The NBN From Telstra Copper
- Building the NBN from Telstra Copper
- Animated, Coffee, ImageryAnimated Coffee
- Coffee with emotion.
- Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, Lotr, PizzaBrace Yourself. Pizza Is Coming.
- Brace Yourself. Pizza is coming.
- Animals, Australia, Cats, Horse Racing, Horses, Imagery, Jockeys, Melbourne Cup, SportMelbourne Cup Cat Horse
- Melbourne Cup Cat Horse.
- Batman, Imagery, WikileaksWikileaks
- Bruce Wayne!
- Cars, ImageryHome Mechanics
- Home Mechanics and their cars.
- Food, ImageryLittle Green Balls Of Death
- Little Green Balls of Death
- Drawings, Imagery, SignsDraw Bridge
- A man drawing a bridge at a “draw bridge” sign.
- Animals, Drugs, Imagery, RabbitsHigh Rabbits
- Two rabbits getting high on marijuana.
- Animals, Carrots, Food, Imagery, Rabbits, VegetablesSuccess Is Not Always What You See
- Success is not always what you see…
- Alcohol, Imagery, Irish, RacistIrish Yoga
- Irish Yoga.
- Accidents, Cars, Imagery, TargetMissed Target
- Missed Target: So close…
- Books, Imagery, PhobiasEverything You Wanted To Know About Phobias
- Everything you wanted to know about Phobias (but were afraid to ask)
- PoliticalAbbott And Costello Go To Washington
- Abbott And Costello Go To Washington.
- Self-checkout, Shopping, Technology, TerminatorUnexpected Item In Bagging Area.
- It’s not unexpected, you literally just told me what it is…
- Animals, ImageryGeneral Hierarchical Management Structure
- I’ve never seen a Flow Chart described so clearly.
- Guitars, Imagery, MusicFree Air Guitars
- Christmas Gift Ideas: Free Air Guitars.
- Gandalf, Harry Potter, Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, Patrick Stewart, Star Trek, Star WarsHow To Offend Four Groups Of Geeks With One Picture
- How to offend four groups of geeks with one picture.
- Comics, Imagery, Movies, WorkPopular Sayings #38
- Dress for the job you want, not the one you have.
- Illusion, ImageryShake Your Head
- Shake your head
- America, Coronavirus, Imagery, Political, Presidents, TrumpInject Yourselves With Disinfectant!
- Inject Yourselves with Disinfectant!
- Illusion, ImageryConfused Carpentry
- A Carpenter’s Nightmare.
- ImageryTechnically Correct
- …but still wrong.
- America, Britain, Political, Queen Elizabeth Ii, Queens, Racist, RoyaltyA MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN
- A message to the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.
- Imagery, TurtlesA Wee Turtle
- A wee turtle…
- Imagery, Memory, Protests, RalliesBetter Memory
- What do we want? Better memory! When do we want it? Want what?
- Animals, Chocolate, Easter, Easter Bunnies, Imagery, RabbitsJust Some Bunny That I Used To Know
- Now you’re just some bunny that I used to know.
- Imagery, Risqué, SexSex Tape
- I made a sex tape. Shhh!
- Aztecs, Imagery, Mayans, OreosMayan, Aztec And Oreos
- Mayan, Aztec and Oreos…
- Joke, MathMath Problem
- John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now?
- Boobs, Bsod, Computers, Fashion, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, Sexist, Shirts, Windows, WomenI Love My BSOD
- Perhaps the only blue screen of death geeks would be happy to see.
- Animals, Dogs, Imagery, RisquéBitches & Hose
- Having so much fun…
- Facebook, InternetFacebook Farm
- A dying granny tells her granddaughter, “I want to leave you my farm…
- Sexist, WorkDon’t Copy If You Can’t Paste
- Don’t copy if you can’t paste…
- Capitalism, Imagery, PoliticalSuffering From Capitalism
- Feeling sad and depressed? Are you anxious? Worried about the future? Feeling isolated and alone? You might be suffering from Capitalism.
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryI See What You Did There
- I see what you did there… also, over here…
- Imagery, Movies, PiratesHorny Pirate’s Worst Nightmare
- What’s a horny pirate’s worst nightmare?
- Animals, Fire, Imagery, SpidersThere Was A Spider, I Panicked
- There was a spider, I panicked. But I think it’s gone now.
- Animals, RisquéDoctor Bob Had Sex With One Of His Patients…
- Doctor Bob had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long…
- Cars, ImageryAbove The Law Like A Boss
- Above the law like a boss: removing a wheel clamp.
- CatsHappy Pussy
- A collection of amusing cat pictures.
- Animals, ImageryAntique Tables
- Made Daily…
- Animals, Imagery, Lightbulbs, Mice, Risqué, SexHow Many Mice Does It Take To Screw In A Lightbulb?
- How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
- Imagery, UniversityUniversity Website
- Things on the front page of a university website.
- Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryAnimals That Didn’t Expect Their Humans To Come Home So Early!
- Animals that didn’t expect their humans to come home so early!
- Imagery, Steve IrwinDoesn’t Protect From Harmful Rays
- Puts on sunblock. Doesn’t protect from harmful rays.
- Imagery, Music, Musical Instruments, Sex, Violence, ViolinsSax And Violins
- Warning: This image contains sax and violins. Viewer discretion is advised.
- English, Etymology, Imagery, Languages, SpanishEntero Somewhere Elso
- English: Do Not Enter Here; Spanish: Entero Somewhere Elso.
- Animals, Cats, ImageryAbercrombie & Cat
- Abercrombie & Cat
- Political, SchoolMath Instruction
- At Heathrow Airport today…
- Babies, Imagery, RisquéI Will Deprive You Of Sex
- I will deprive you of sex all night with my crying and then suck on your wife’s tits in the morning.
- Facebook, ImageryFacebook Illusion
- Facebook: Providing the illusion you have friends since 2004!
- Bottles, Imagery, Messages, UsbModern Day Message In A Bottle
- A USB stick in a bottle lying on the beach.
- Bananas, Food, Imagery, PhonesBanana Phone
- It’s a banana phone…
- Imagery, RisquéHebrew Cave Paintings
- Written across the wall of the cave were the following symbols…
- Animals, Imagery, Iphone, PhonesIt’s A Whale
- How do you have any friends…
- Imagery, RelationshipsA Woman Hid Under The Bed
- To see her husband’s reaction, a woman wrote on a paper: “I left, I’m not coming back.” Hidden under the bed, the woman waited for her husband to arrive. He walked into the room, saw the paper, wrote something on the paper, and put himself to sing, all satisfied. 5 minutes later, he took his cell phone and called someone: “I’m going now. The other nut’s gone. I’m on my way, remember I love you so much” He took the car and left. Mad in anger, the woman comes out under the bed and reads what he wrote… “I can see your feet. I went for bread. Stop being retarded and make dinner…”
- Australia, New Zealand, RacistKiwi Pig Sheep
- Voted Best Joke of the Year in Australia…
- Animals, Imagery, JokeThe World’s Funniest Joke
- The World’s Funniest Joke…
- Imagery, ToiletsWalked Into A Public Bathroom
- Walked into a public bathroom. Saw this and heard “hello?”
- Imagery, SexistRealistic Remotes
- Some more useful remote controls we would like to see.
- Blonde, Fruit, Ginger, Hair, Imagery, Strawberries, WomenGinger Versus Strawberry Blonde
- This is a strawberry. This is ginger…
- Doctors, HospitalsFinding Information In Hospital
- A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph’s Hospital…
- English, WordsI’m Awkward When People Compliment Me…
- I’m awkward when people compliment me… “Nice hair” Me: “Thanks, I grew it myself”
- Cold, Flu, Illness, Imagery, Man Flu, SexistMan Flu
- The difference between men & women when they are sick.
- Animated, Flash, Geeky, ImageryL33t H4x0r H4ml37
- Tales for the L33T PATR TOO - HAMLET
- Animals, Bears, Imagery, PenguinsDo One Brave Thing Today
- Do one brave thing today… then run like hell!
- Cars, ImageryThe Park Anywhere Button
- Self-explanatory really.
- Calendars, Comics, Imagery, MayansThe Mayan Calendar
- I only had enough room to go up to 2012…
- Imagery, Marriage, Onions, People, ProposingProposing With An Onion
- Proposing with an onion: Guaranteed to cry.
- Imagery, PoliticalMad Magazine’s Boy Grows Up
- The boy from Mad Magazine morphing into George Bush.
- Imagery, Notices, Paper, SignsPaper Says Yes
- Would you like a little piece of paper that says yes to hang onto during the tough times ahead? (Maybe it will help)
- America, Imagery, North Korea, Obama, RacistNorth Korea: I Will Destroy America
- North Korea: I will destroy America! Obama: Too late!
- Imagery, SportHandegg
- Football versus Handegg: It’s not football…
- Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, SexistDream Girl
- Girl on beach with six breasts.
- ImageryFurniture Training
- Furniture training for one of their main purposes in life…
- Fonts, Imagery, TypographyBe Bold
- Be bold or italic. Never regular.
- Food, ImageryI Love The Smell Of Pixel In The Morning
- I Love the Smell of Pixel in the Morning…
- Balloons, Hot Air Balloons, ImageryHot Air Balloons
- Hot Air Balloons - Boring 99% of the time.
- Beer, Imagery, RacistHow People From Around The World Open Beer
- People from around the world opening beer in their own unique ways.
- Advertising, Imagery, Men, Sexist, SignsThis Year Thousands Of Men Will Die From Stubbornness…
- This year thousands of men will die from stubbornness. No we won’t.
- Birds, Imagery, RavensWhere Have You Been All Weekend?
- Where have you been all weekend? Out Raven.
- Alcohol, ChemistryAlcohol Is A Solution
- Not to get technical but according to chemistry alcohol is a solution.
- ☺Perfect Existence
- Perfect Existence: The Proof
- Australia, Imagery, Kevin Rudd, PoliticalKevin Rudd’s Ego
- Kevin Rudd’s Ego.
- Flying, Imagery, SportFlying – Because Golf Only Takes One Ball
- Flying – because softball, baseball, football, basketball, soccer, bowling and golf only take one ball.
- Parties, WatchesNot On My Watch
- Lost my watch at a party once…
- Apple, Imagery, Ipad, Portal, Technology, ValveValve’s “Portal”, As An IPad Decoration.
- Valve’s “Portal”, as an iPad decoration.
- Political, RisquéHillary Clinton Goes To Her Doctor For A Physical…
- Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical…
- Food, Imagery, TurkeyRoast Turkey With A Doll Head
- I was watching TV when I head my Dad in the kitchen laughing to himself. When I got up to see what he was doing, I walked in on this…
- Animals, Imagery, Languages, Latin, PigsPig Latin
- Pig Latin…
- Flash, ImageryVision Test
- Vision Test.
- Apple, Boobs, Fashion, Imagery, Ios, Risqué, ShirtsSlide To Unlock
- A woman wearing a shirt: Slide to Unlock.
- SexistPunctuation Is Powerful.
- Punctuation is powerful.
- Bathrooms, Imagery, SignsYou Look Fine
- Instead of a mirror, a sign “you look fine”.
- ImageryMarketing
- Marketing…
- Animals, Dogs, Imagery, SpidersSpider Dog
- Spider Dog…
- Animals, Bunnies, Chocolate, Easter, Food, Imagery, RabbitsEaster Bunnies
- Chocolate Easter Bunnies: My butt hurts! What?
- Animals, Cats, Geeky, ImagerySchrödinger’s Cat
- Wanted: Dead & Alive…
- Agony Aunt, Cheating, Clinton, Dear Abby, Dear Abby, Political, RelationshipsDear Abby, My Husband Is A Liar And A Cheat…
- My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything…
- Imagery, SexistHusband Glasses
- I’m returning these glasses I bought for my husband. He’s still not seeing things my way.
- Imagery, Math, PiWife Of Pi
- He’s irrational and he goes on and on…
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryAchilles’ Heel
- You got a dog?! Yup! His name is Achilles…
- Einstein, Imagery, Phones, TechnologyThe Day Einstein Feared
- The day that Einstein feared may have finally arrived.
- Children, Cleaning, Imagery, MopsStupid Child Efficiency Mop
- Stupid Child Efficiency Mop. Wipe high-efficiently.
- Australia, Imagery, Matches, Pauline Hanson, Political, Redheads, RednecksRednecks
- Redneck Matches…
- Sexist, WomenWords Women Use
- Words women use, and what they really mean.
- Evolution, ImageryEvolution: Stop Following Me!
- The typical “evolution of man” poster, except the man is facing his “earlier ancestors” saying “Stop following me!”
- Imagery, RisquéThumb War
- One, two three, four. I declare a thumb war…
- SexistCIA Assassin
- The CIA had an opening for an assassin…
- Animated, Illusion, Imagery, Impossible Triangle, Penrose TrianglePenrose Triangle
- Penrose Triangle Animation.
- Cyclones, Imagery, SupermarketsCyclone Magic Trick
- Wanna see a magic trick?
- Exams, Imagery, Signs, University, UqIn Class Vs. In Your Exam
- In class vs. in your exam.
- Geeky, Imagery, RomanceRoses Are #FF0000
- Roses are #FF0000, Violets are #0000FF.
- Computer Games, Education, Games, Imagery, Internet, Minecraft, School, TestsMinecraft: Create A Simple Door
- Describe a process that could be used to create a simple door.
- Flowcharts, Imagery, SexistHow To Argue With A Woman
- A flowchart.
- Imagery, Logan, Racist, RisquéIn Logan
- Meanwhile… in Logan…
- ☺The Poodle And The Leopard
- Experience trumps youth.
- Animals, Animated, Giraffes, ImageryHidden Giraffe
- If you stare at this picture long enough you should be able to see a giraffe…
- Blackjack, Cards, Games, ImageryBlack Jack Black
- Black Jack Black eating Cracker Jack playing a black jack while playing BlackJack with Jack Black who is threatening Black Jack Black with a Black Jack.
- Dba, Geeky, Imagery, SqlDBA/SQL Humour
- An SQL query walks into a bar, goes up to two tables and asks, “May I join you?”
- Facebook, Imagery, TattoosTough Tattoos
- Tough Tattoos: You Don’t Have to Like Me.
- Computers, Geeky, ImagerySpeed Reader
- Wow you read that fast! You must be a speed reader!
- Animals, DogsTalking Dog For Sale
- A man sees a sign outside a house – “Talking Dog for Sale.”
- Animals, Food, ImageryBoiled Lobster
- “I hate the way they scream when you boil them!”
- Animated, Chris Coutts, Flash, Imagery, No Effort OnlineChris Coutts: No Effort Online: Tales For The L33T: ROMEO+JULIET
- Chris Coutts: No Effort Online flash animations
- PoliticalLabel Instructions
- French Label Instructions
- Animals, Irish, RacistIrish Pets
- Two Irish men walk into a pet shop…
- Crocs, Friday The 13th, Imagery, Jason Voorhees, Movies, ShoesJason Voorhees Gets Crocs
- Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th) gets Crocs.
- Bras, Imagery, UnderwearSupport Bras
- Supportive support bras…
- ImagerySpring Is Just Around The Corner
- Finally… Spring is just around the corner.
- English, GrammarYour There
- They’re they are.
- Imagery, Sexist, TalkingWomen Use About 30,000 Words A Day
- Did you know that women use about 30,000 words a day while men use only 15,000?
- Imagery, MathImaginary Friend
- Aww, how cute. He has an imaginary friend!
- ImagerySound Thug
- Sound Thug
- Imagery, WorkNothing To Do
- In case of nothing to do, break glass and then sweep up broken glass.
- Bananas, Food, Imagery, SuicideSuicidal Bananas
- A collection of suicidal bananas.
- Animals, Books, Dolphins, Imagery, LibrariesTo Punch A Dolphin In The Mouth
- 5 very good reasons to punch a dolphin in the mouth.
- Animals, Fish, Imagery, Love, Romance, SmsAnyways, Best Of Luck Finding Your Fish
- Long story short, we’re in love. I know it seems sudden but life is sudden like that, you know? Anyways, best of luck finding your fish.
- ImageryWhen You Thought You Ran Over An Animal
- When you thought you ran over an animal but it was just a person
- Batman, Imagery, Superman, WonderwomanIt Is Such A Drag When Someone In The Group Can’t Fly…
- It is such a drag when someone in the group can’t fly… forcing everybody else to have to ride up the elevator too…
- Imagery, Odin, PoliticalVote Odin
- The left wing said they’d abolish poverty; right wing said they’d abolish bureaucracy. Odin said he’d abolish ice giants. Where are the ice giants? Vote Odin!
- Animals, Camels, Children, Donkeys, ImageryYour Child Is Being Eaten By A Camel
- Your child is being eaten by a camel. Do you… a) Save your child, or b) Take a photo?
- Droids, Imagery, Star WarsLook, Sir. Droids!
- These are not the droids you are looking for.
- Animals, Antelopes, ImageryDid You Know There Is A Species Of Antelope Capable Of Jumping Higher Than The Average House?
- Did you know there is a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house? This is due to its powerful hind legs and the fact that the average house cannot jump.
- WorkExecutive Test
- The following short quiz consists of four questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a “professional”…
- Computers, Geeky, ItStar Trek TNG Meets Microsoft
- Star Trek TNG Meets Microsoft…
- Geeky, InternetGoogle
- Try Google. Available in six of the world’s most common languages…
- Jokes, Pool, Puns, Sport, TreesWhat’s Green, Fuzzy, And If It Fell Out Of A Tree It Would Kill You?
- What’s green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?
- Animated, Chris Coutts, Flash, Imagery, No Effort OnlineChris Coutts: No Effort Online: There’s Something About Osmethne
- Chris Coutts: No Effort Online flash animations
- English, ImageryLike If You Can Raed Tihs
- Like if you can raed tihs whit no porlqebm baecuas yuor jsut taht sarmt.
- Imagery, Signs, WarningsThrew Caution To The Wind
- Looks like someone threw caution to the wind.
- Animals, Cats, ImageryCat Bag
- It’s a cat bag. Not too sure what else to say about this…
- Afghanistan, RacistInvestment Opportunity
- Investment Opportunity. Thought you might want to consider getting on board early.
- Astronauts, Coronavirus, Imagery, Nasa, SpaceCoronavirus Space Crew
- Congratulations, your mission is now complete. You may return to Earth.
- Funerals, Imagery, Italian, RacistThe Italian Funeral
- Pasquale died. His will provided ,000 for an elaborate funeral…
- All Your Base, Geeky, Imagery, InternetAll Your Base...
- All your base are belong to us.
- Animals, Cats, Ducks, Imagery, SeagullsCat Duck
- The Amazing Cat Duck! Or perhaps Cat Seagull?
- Food, Imagery, RisquéCarrot Love
- When carrots get kinky…
- Computer Games, Imagery, MarioIt’s A-me, Mario!
- Mario emerging from a drainpipe.
- Food, Imagery, PizzaI Just Burned 1500 Calories In About Five Minutes
- I just burned 1500 calories in about five minutes. I forgot the pizza was in the oven.
- Awards, Imagery, Jobs, Roads, WorkThe Winner Of The “Not My Job” Award
- The Winner of the “Not My Job” Award goes to…
- Children, Imagery, Sexist, ToysTo Avoid Perpetuating Gender Stereotypes
- To avoid perpetuating gender stereotypes, I gave my daughter a mix of dolls and toy cars to play with. This is what happened…
- Computer Games, Imagery, Microsoft, XboxXbox One Vs. An Ordinary Brick
- Xbox One vs. An Ordinary Brick: Price, DRM Free, Requires Internet, Region Locked…
- Bananas, Food, Hats, ImageryBanana Hat
- Banana hat…
- Flies, Ipad, NewspapersModern Newspapers
- I was visiting my daughter last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper…
- America, Democracy, Imagery, TvWelcome To The USA
- The Government where the money’s made up and the debt doesn’t matter.
- Imagery, Mexico, RacistMexico’s National Sport
- What is Mexico’s national sport? Cross country.
- Beds, Hotels, Imagery, Phones, SheetsAlways Leave Your Hotel Room Like This
- Always leave your hotel room like this
- Computer Games, Computers, ImageryPlay Outside
- It’s a beautiful day. I really want you to go outside and play.
- Animals, ImageryFalling Cows
- A roadsign showing a cow falling off a cliff and onto a car.
- Evolution, Imagery, SexistThe Evolution Of Man And Woman
- The Evolution of Man & Woman…
- Imagery, Marriage, Men, WomenMarriage Secrets Of Highly Successful Couples
- Marriage secrets of highly successful couples.
- Animals, Bread, Dogs, Food, ImageryBread Dog
- The Amazing Bread Dog.
- Doorbells, Imagery, Logan, RacistLogan Doorbell
- To ring door bell, connect wires.
- Comics, Education, ImageryUnused Diploma.
- I’d like to return this. It’s unused. This is your diploma. Cash is fine.
- Jewish, RacistBacon Tree
- Back in cowboy times, a westbound wagon train was lost and low on food…
- Animals, Giraffes, ImageryLet’s Get You Home Buddy
- Two giraffe having problems getting home.
- Imagery, Topgear, TvIs There Anything Worse Than A Lego For Stepping On In The Middle Of The Night?
- Is there anything worse than a Lego for stepping on in the middle of the night? A landmine.
- Babies, Children, Daycare, Imagery, Logan, RacistLogan Daycare
- Logan Daycare: Just for the whole day
- Animals, Imagery, Internet, RabbitsStop Surfing The Internet And Just Go To Bed
- Holy crap! Look how late it is! Why do I always do this? Why is it so hard to stop surfing the internet and just go to bed?
- SexistMars Vs. Venus
- Mars versus Venus…
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryFree Puppy
- Free puppy…
- Al Qaeda, Bin Laden, Imagery, Political, TerrorismI Usually Get 9/11
- I don’t always get rated on my terrorism attacks, but when I do, I usually get 9/11.
- Hands, Imagery, Risqué, Valentine’s DayValentine Hand
- Of course I’ll be your valentine. Let’s stay home and watch some porn.
- Australia, Imagery, Julia Gillard, Kevin Rudd, PoliticalWhere Was I Before I Was So Rudely Interrupted?
- [Kevin Rudd] Where was I before I was so rudely interrupted?
- Feminists, Imagery, Lightbulbs, Sexist, WomenHow Many Feminists Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?
- How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Don’t be silly, feminists can’t change anything!
- America, Animals, Australia, Birds, Eagles, Imagery, RacistAmerican Bald Eagle Vs Australian Wedge Tail Eagle
- American Bald Eagle vs. Australian Wedge Tail Eagle.
- Risqué, WorkThe Boss’s Quandary
- The Boss’s Quandary…
- Animals, Drugs, ImageryFlying Ants
- How ants began to fly…
- Accidents, Aeroplanes, Imagery, LuggageClosing Airline Luggage Doors
- Closing Airline Luggage Doors.
- Canada, Imagery, Protests, RiotsCanadian Riots
- Canadian Riots: Sorry to bother you, but perhaps you should take a break as our mayor?
- EnglishThe Gender Neutral Term For Sugar Daddy
- The gender neutral term for sugar daddy is glucose guardian.
- ImageryMartha Stewart’s New Digs
- Martha Stewart’s New Digs
- Advertising, Babies, ImageryGood Things Are Twice As Good In Cellophane
- Good things are twice as good in Cellophane!
- Boobs, Imagery, RisquéBoob Staring
- Shirt: Please tell your boobs to quit staring at my eyes.
- Geeky, ItHow To Please Your IT Department
- How to please your IT department.
- ImageryMcDonald’s Reaches Africa
- McDonald’s reaches Africa.
- Imagery, Risqué, SignsNo Public Motor Boating Permitted
- No public motor boating permitted.
- Art, Imagery, Michelangelo, Paintings, Reenactment, Sistine ChapelMichelangelo: The Re-enactment
- A re-enactment of Michelangelo’s famous “The Creation of Adam”.
- Animated, Chris Coutts, Flash, Imagery, No Effort OnlineChris Coutts: No Effort Online: What Does Suxor Mean?
- Chris Coutts: No Effort Online flash animations
- Imagery, Self-help, SexSex Maniac
- Dear Dr Ruth, I’m writing to tell you my problem. It seems I have been married to a sex maniac for the past 22 years…
- Buildings, Jokes, Physicists, PunsA Physicist Sees A Young Man About To Jump Off The Empire State Building
- A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building…
- ☺The World’s Shortest Books
- The World’s Shortest Books
- ImageryLegoland Will Never Be The Same...
- Legoland will never be the same…
- Australia, Democracy, Imagery, Political, RisquéAmazing Holes
- Amazing Holes from Around the World.
- SexistCelibacy
- Many aspects of human sexuality are very puzzling…
- Illusion, ImageryCrazy Sphere
- A crazy sphere
- Animals, Beaches, Imagery, Signs, Stingrays, WarningsShuffle Your Feet For Stingrays
- Shuffle your feet for Stingrays: One of the many dangers in Australian waters.
- Imagery, Movie Posters, PiranhasPiranhas On An Escalator
- If I were you, I’d take the stairs…
- SexistMen Are Like...
- Men are like…
- Advertising, Australia, Billboards, CarsRAC Roadside Assistance Meltdown
- You don’t want to be stuck out here.
- Imagery, ShopsBall-type Deodorant
- Her: Is it the ball-type deodorant you want sir? Him: Oh no miss – it’s for under my arms!
- Imagery, SchoolUnprepared For An Exam
- Ever gone into an exam having not studied at all?
- Imagery, Phones, Risqué, SexPhone Sex
- Phone Sex. You’re doing it wrong.
- Imagery, RisquéDon’t Fall For This
- The CIA is trying to steal my…
- Chess, Feminists, Imagery, Sexist, WomenHow To Play Chess
- How to Play Chess: Whites go first. The Queen must protect the King.
- ☺News Headlines
- Amusing news headlines
- Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery, WorkMario: Happy
- Quit your day job and do what makes you happy.
- Roadwork, Shovels, WorkersWe Forgot Our Shovels
- A road crew foreman calls into the shop. Foreman: “We have a problem.”
- Driving, Sexist, WomenDamn Women Drivers
- This morning on the freeway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Cadillac doing 110…
- Cars, Imagery, Irish, RacistIrish Car
- An advertisement in an Irish Newspaper…
- Drugs, Homophobia, Imagery, Marijuana, MedicalMedical Marijuana
- What disease is your medical marijuana relieving?
- Animals, Cats, ImageryPlease Don’t Let The Cat Out. No Matter What It Tells You!
- Please don’t let the cat out. No matter what it tells you!
- Imagery, Political, Snowden, Spying, WikileaksEdward Snowden Buys A Plane Ticket From Moscow To Havana…
- Snowden buys a plane ticket from Moscow to Havana. Over 30 journalists pay last-minute airfare for a ticket on the same flight. The doors shut, the plane takes off, and [Edward] Snowden is not on the plane. It’s a 16-hour flight.
- Cars, ImageryCar Alarms
- Car alarms: They piss me off!
- Archaeology, Canada, Cars, Imagery, SnowCanadian Archaeology
- Canadian Archaeology: Digging a car out from under the snow
- Dishes, ImageryDishes
- Dishes: They don’t do themselves.
- Bananas, Food, Imagery, ZucchinisGreen Banana
- Green banana…
- Cats, Imagery, MailboxesMailman Jumped 15 Feet
- Mailman jumped 15 feet. Dog was right. This is fun.
- Geeky, ImageryOhm
- …ohm.
- Computers, Geeky, ImageryWhenever I Have To Force Shutdown
- Whenever I have to force shutdown.
- Animals, Cats, ImageryDid You Try Jumping Off The Refrigerator Too?
- Did you try jumping off the refrigerator too?
- Germany, LoveTell Someone You Love Them Today
- Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying and confusing.
- ImageryApostrophe, Catastrophe
- Apostrophe, Catastrophe.
- Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery90’s Gamer
- Everytime I hear people complain about online gaming, I wish they could experience my pain of online gaming in the 90’s…
- Animals, Geckos, Trumpets, TrustYou Know What Doesn’t Grow Back, Susan? Trust!
- You know what doesn’t grow back, Susan? Trust!
- Babies, Imagery, PregnancyPregnancy Tips
- Some useful pregnancy tips…
- Imagery, RisquéJelly Orgy
- A jelly orgy.
- Imagery, Michael Jackson, Performers, SingersMichael Jackson Is Dead
- You Can Come Out Now…
- Cars, Imagery, PetrolThe Bank Account Gas Ratio
- The depressing ratio between your bank account, and your gas tank.
- Halloween, Imagery, Pumpkins, VegetablesAngry Pumpkin Man
- Angry Pumpkin Man: Come at me bro!
- Imagery, Risqué, SupermanSuper Boner
- Super-boner: A super problem.
- Imagery, Jokes, ScrabbleScrabble Jokes
- I accidentally swallowed some scrabble tiles… My next dump could spell disaster.
- ☺100 Guidelines On Becoming An Evil Villain
- World domination is everyone’s dream. It’s not a bad job really…
- Clouds, Computers, Imagery, TechnologyWhat Are Clouds Made Of?
- Daddy, what are clouds made of?
- Imagery, Toilet PaperToilet Paper
- A piece of toilet paper saving another piece…
- Knock Knock, PolicePolice: Knock Knock
- Police: Knock Knock. Me: Who is it? Police: It’s the police.
- Accidents, Cars, Imagery, Seatbelts, SexistNew Seatbelt Design: 45% Less Car Accidents!
- A man driving a car while a woman sits beside him, with her seatbelt across her mouth, preventing her from commenting.
- Bras, Imagery, New Zealand, Racist, Risqué, SportThe All Blacks Bra
- Introducing the New Zealand All Blacks Bra. All the support, but no cup.
- Bmw, Cars, Imagery, WorkBrand New BMW
- The owner of the company where I work pulled up in his brand new BMW this morning…
- Imagery, RacistHas One Night Stand
- Has one night stand, but way too many books to fit on it.
- Advertising, Cigarettes, Imagery, Risqué, Sexist, VintageBlow In Her Face
- Blow in her face and she'll follow you anywhere.
- Animals, Cats, ImageryCat Eats Watermelon
- Cat eats watermelon
- Apple, Imagery, Ios, Ios6, TransportApple IOS6 Maps
- For the benefit of passengers using Apple iOS6, local area maps are available from the booking office.
- America, Bear Arms, Constitution, Democracy, Imagery, Second AmendmentThe Second Amendment: The Right To Bear Arms
- The second amendment gives Americans the right to bear arms. I think many have taken this out of context.
- Animals, Imagery, Seals, SharksDo Not Consume If Seal Is Broken!
- Do not consume if seal is broken!
- Animals, Cats, ImageryOn A Roll
- Don’t try to stop me… ‘cause I am on a roll.
- Illusion, ImageryTwelve Or Thirteen?
- Wait until the group changes position. Is it twelve or thirteen?
- Irish, Racist, ReligiousAn Irish Daughter Had Not Been To Her Parent's House For Over Five Years...
- An Irish daughter had not been to her parent’s house for over five years…
- Beer, Imagery, Logan, Prams, Racist, Victoria BitterLogan Priorities
- Logan Priorities.
- Credit Cards, Genies, Imagery, Sexist, WomenIrresistible To Women
- Make me irresistible to women
- ImageryAll Images
- All Images
- Money, Quotations, SchwarzeneggerHaving More Money Doesn’t Make You Happier
- Having more money doesn’t make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I’m just as happy as when I had 48 million.
- English, ImageryYou You Read The First Line Wrong?
- What if I told you you read the first line wrong?
- Imagery, Israeli, Palestinian, Political, RacistIsraeli Settlers
- Of course we want peace–this piece and this piece and this piece and this piece…
- Geeky, ImageryDrowning, LOL!
- If you see someone drowning… LOL!
- Animals, Imagery, SharksSharks Are A Lot Friendlier Without Pointy Teeth
- Sharks are a lot friendlier without pointy teeth.
- Harry Potter, Imagery, Magic, Risqué, WandsReplace The Word “wand” With “dick” In Any Sentence In Harry Potter
- Replace the word “wand” with “dick” in any sentence in Harry Potter…
- Imagery, MoviesNeville
- Neville would have done it in four books.
- Cars, Imagery, Logan, My Family Stickers, Racist, StickersLogan My Family Stickers
- Logan My Family Stickers.
- ImageryCaution: Door May Open
- Caution: Door May Open.
- Animals, Cats, ImageryJust Wait Until I’m Fully Charged
- Just wait until I’m fully charged…
- Cars, PoliceSpeed Camera
- Speed camera revenge…
- Accidents, Cars, ImageryPass With Care
- Pass with care…
- Imagery, Phones, SmsChosen One
- I’m the chosen one…
- Animals, Chickens, Eggs, Imagery, SignsBoneless Chicken
- Boneless Chicken
- Cosmetics, ImageryPapercut Locator
- Papercut Locator.
- Alcohol, Beer, Imagery, WineIn Wine There Is Truth
- In Wine there is Truth. In Beer there is Strength. In Water there is Bacteria.
- Geeky, ImageryReach Out
- Reach Out!
- Food, Imagery, Microwaves, ScienceNo Science In This Microwave
- Food only. Absolutely no science in this microwave.
- Australia, Gillard, PoliticalPatriotic Retirement Plan
- Ms Gillard’s Patriotic Retirement Plan.
- Imagery, RisquéSave Paper
- Save paper…
- Animals, Imagery, WhalesThe Hey Whale
- The Hey Whale. It defies description.
- Animated, Chris Coutts, Flash, Imagery, No Effort OnlineChris Coutts: No Effort Online
- Chris Coutts: No Effort Online flash animations
- Autocorrect, Imagery, Iphone, SmsBroken Penis
- I broke my penis and it exploded all over my pants.
- Accidents, Buses, Imagery, Rivers, Wildlife DocumentariesA Wild Bus Drinking Water
- And here we see a wild bus drinking water from a river.
- Animals, Cats, Imagery, MetallicaMettalicat
- Mettalicat: Sleeps with one eye open, gripping his pillow tight.
- Animals, Cats, Egyptians, God, ImageryHow To Distract An Egyptian God
- How to distract an Egyptian God
- ImageryMicrophone Eyes
- Microphone Eyes.
- Imagery, Jail, Logan, RacistI’m From Logan
- I killed a man. You? I’m from Logan.
- Imagery, LoveThis Summarises My Love Life
- This summarises my love life. I’m the guy in blue…
- Animals, Joke, PigsThree Little Piggies
- Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night…
- Children, Families, Imagery, Parenting, SchoolWhen I Grow Up… I Want To Be Like Mommy!
- I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer…
- Dads, Imagery, Jokes, Phones, SmsSometimes I Sit On The Floor And Put My Arms Around My Knees And Lean Forward
- Dad: Sometimes I sit on the floor and put my arms around my knees and lean forward. Daughter: Huh? Dad: Cuz that’s how I roll!
- Advertising, Gay, Imagery, Ovaltine, VintageTo Wake Up Gay In The Morning…
- To wake up gay in the morning just try this at Bedtime Tonight!
- Animals, Animated, Australia, Emus, Imagery, KangaroosKangaroo Kicks Boy
- A kangaroo kicks an unsuspecting boy into a dam while an emu strolls past.
- ImageryTrapped Miners
- The first photo of the trapped miners…
- Flash, ImagerySteady Hand – A Game Of Skill
- A game of skill, requiring a steady hand and keen eye – make sure you play at least the first two levels…
- Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, PhonesIPhone 6: Bend It Like Beckham
- iPhone 6: Bend it like Beckham.
- Food, ImageryWurst Nightmare
- Hi. I’m your wurst nightmare.
- ImagerySuperman’s Social Network Nightmare
- Superman’s Social Network Nightmare.
- Canada, Flutes, Imagery, SignsCanada Has A Serious Epidemic
- Protect yourself and others from the flute.
- AlcoholCalm Living
- I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me today, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives.
- Bikinis, Burqa, Imagery, Muslim, Racist, SexistWhat A Cruel Male-dominated Culture
- It’s a male dominated culture, no matter how you look at it…
- PhrasesWhen Someone Yells “STOP”…
- When someone yells “STOP”, I never know if it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammertime, or I should collaborate and listen…
- Alcohol, ImageryAlcohol Research
- Bum holding sign “Need Cash for Alcohol Research”.
- Daleks, Dr Who, Food, Garlic, Imagery, TvGarlek
- Garlek.
- English, GrammarIf Your A Grammar Nazi
- If your a grammar nazi and your reading this your gonna have a bad time.
- Animated, Illusion, ImageryTwo Person Optical Illusion
- Optical illusion: Keep your eyes on the cross, and see what happens.
- C Sharp, Developers, Geeky, Imagery, Java, ProgrammersWhy Do Java Developers Wear Glasses?
- Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#!
- Animals, RisquéThe Lone Ranger
- The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an Indian war party…
- Imagery, Joke, Mayans, PredictionsMayan Joke Set-Up
- Heh… I’ve just thought of a joke with the longest set-up ever! Cool! I’ll fetch a scribe…
- Babies, Court, Imagery, Jail, Judges3 Years In Jail For Stealing My Nose
- 3 years in jail for stealing my nose!
- Imagery, Kitchens, Sexist, WomenFor Too Long The Voice Of Women Has Been Silenced
- For too long the voice of women has been silenced. It’s time they had microphones in kitchens.
- WorkHow To Get A Day Off Work
- How to get time off in the public service…
- Animals, Birds, Chickens, Imagery, Rock And RollChook Heavy Metal Guitarist
- A heavy metal guitarist chicken
- Medical, RisquéBetter Than A Flu Shot
- Better than a Flu Shot
- RisquéTarzan Sex
- When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex…
- SexistEx Wife
- The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my ex-wife…
- Alcohol, Cooking, Imagery, WineCooking With Wine
- I tried cooking supper with wine tonight. Didn’t go so well. After 5 glasses I forgot why I was even in the kitchen.
- Imagery, MathSeven Ate Nine
- Six, Seven, Ate, Nine…
- Imagery, SocksThe Divorce Rate Among My Socks Is Astonishing.
- The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.
- Animals, Cows, Horses, ImageryThis Guy’s An Idiot! Quick, Take A Picture!
- This guy’s an idiot! Quick, take a picture!
- Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, Shoes, VintageWhere She Belongs
- Keep her where she belongs…
- Imagery, Motorbikes, RisquéSexy Motorbike
- I am not too sure what to say about this…
- Beer, SexistA Beer Before It Starts
- A man came home from work, sat down in his favourite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, “Quick, bring me a beer before it starts”…
- Imagery, WifiWireless Networks
- Wireless networks could save your life!
- Bananas, Carving, Food, Guns, Imagery, WeaponsBanana Gun
- Banana gun…
- Australia, Imagery, Nrl, Nsw, Qld, Rugby, SportNSW Playing Economically: 2 Punches Per Gallen.
- NSW playing economically. 2 punches per Gallen.
- Imagery, Jealousy, Relationships, SmsBaby Are You Jealous?
- Baby are you jealous?
- ☺Notice
- Notice is hereby given…
- Cars, ImageryFail Towing
- Thank You for Using Fail Towing, Inc.
- Imagery, Jobs, WorkThings Don’t Really Change
- Interviewer: What would you consider to be your greatest weakness?
- Animals, Penguins, SleepIf Penguins Have Knees
- 3 out of 4 voices in my head want to sleep (the other wants to know if penguins have knees!)
- Buffering, Buffy, Imagery, TvBuffy Buffering
- Buffy buffering…
- Redneck, TechnologyTechnology For Country Folk
- Technology for Country Folk.
- Animals, Australia, Dropbears, Imagery, KoalasDrop Bears – Department Of Dangerous Fauna Management
- Dropbears are a very real danger to all Australians. Almost one in ten Australians has been attacked by a Dropbear, and the rate is even higher for foreign visitors. Don’t become another statistic. Always beware low branches and doorframes. Look up. Stay Alive.
- Facebook, ImageryI Think I Might Stay Home Tonight…
- I think I might stay home tonight… Liver and Wallet like this.
- Imagery, Signs, SpringSpring Is Here. I’m So Excited I Wet My Plants!
- Spring is here. I’m so excited I wet my plants!
- PoliticalScientific Breakthrough – Governmentium
- A major research institution recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named Governmentium.
- SexistGuts Or Balls?
- We’ve all heard about men having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them?
- Imagery, PinterestIf You Like It Then You Shoulda Put A Pin On It
- If you like it then you shoulda put a pin on it!
- Australia, Iraq, PoliticalThe Australian Constitution: For Iraq
- They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq…
- Birth Control, Imagery, RisquéEffective Birth Control
- The most effective birth control method known to man.
- Advertising, Feminine Hygiene, Imagery, Sexist, VintagePlease, Dave… Please Don’t Let Me Be Locked Out From You!
- Please, Dave… please don’t let me be locked out from you! For complete feminine hygiene rely on Lysol – a concentrated germ-killer!
- Boobs, Imagery, RisquéWater Enhanced Breasts
- Water Enhanced Breasts…
- Centrelink, Imagery, WineDrinking A Nice Wine
- Drinking a nice wine while listening to classical music…
- Geeky, History, Internet, ItHow The Internet Started: A History Lesson
- How the Internet Started: A History Lesson.
- Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, VintageHappier With A Hoover
- Christmas morning she’ll be happier with a Hoover.
- RisquéTemptation
- Temptation, by a soon to be married man.
- Children, ParentingWhy Parents Drink
- Why parents drink.
- Bricks, Footpaths, Imagery, OcdOCD Bricks
- The worst thing that can happen to an OCD person…
- Business Cards, ImageryYou Have A Nice… Business Card
- A business card: “You have a nice… {day, ass, attitude}.
- Racist, RedneckA Redneck Love Poem
- Susie Lee done fell in love…
- Aboriginal, Australia, RacistAboriginal Spongebob Spotted In Cairns
- Aboriginal Spongebob spotted in Cairns.
- Mechanics, UnderwearAlways Wear Underwear
- Always wear underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle…
- Image, Qut, UniversityQUT: University For The Real World
- Will we find intelligent life?
- Imagery, SpidersSpider’s Remember
- Remember when you threw a shoe at me and I fell somewhere behind the bed? I remember too.
- Imagery, Masturbation, RisquéI’m Starting To Think My Husband Masturbates
- I’m not absolutely certain yet, but I’m starting to think my husband masturbates
- ImageryAwkward Moment
- The awkward when you already said “moment” in your head before you read it.
- Imagery, Phones, SmsI Am Hungary
- I am Hungary…
- Coronavirus, Cruises, Face Masks, Imagery, Sunbathing, SunburnJust Back From Our Cruise. Had A Great Time.
- Just back from our cruise. Had a great time.
- Animals, Boats, Fish, Fishing, ImageryGive A Man A Fish And He Has Food For A Day
- Give a man a fish and he has food for a day. Teach a man to fish and he has to buy bamboo rods, graphite reels, monofilament lines, neoprene waders, creels, tackleboxes, lures, flies, spinners, worm rigs, slip sinkers, offset hooks, gore-tex hats, 20 pocket vests, fish finders, depth sounders, radar, boats, trailers, global positioning systems, coolers and six-packs.
- Horror MoviesIf You Are Lonely, Dim All Lights
- If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you’re alone anymore.
- ReligiousThe Atheist & The Bear
- The Atheist and the Religious Bear
- Browsers, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, WindowsFirefox Has Encountered…
- …an unexpected problem with Windows.
- Olympics, Racist, SportAthens Olympic Soccer Stadium
- The Athens Olympic Stadium…
- ImageryI’m So Sick Of Not Being Understood!
- I’m so sick of not being understood! What do you mean?
- Imagery, MoviesTitanic Ice Bucket Challenge
- Titanic ALS Ice Bucket Challenge: “I accept your ice water challenge”.
- Farmers, Imagery, Men, Swimming, WomenThe Clever Old Man
- One evening an old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond…
- Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, Sauron, Traffic LightsKneel, Says The Demon Light
- Stop says the red light, go says the green. Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between. Kneel, says the demon light, with its eye of coal. Sauron knows your licence plate, and stares into your soul.
- Accidents, Imagery, Logan, Racist, WindowsLogan Repair
- Another quality repair job by Logan City Council.
- Great Expectations, ImageryGreat Expectations
- Who hurt you? My own expectations.
- Canada, Etiquette, ImageryHolding Doors
- Holding Doors: A Question of Distance.
- Jokes, Punography, PunsPunography
- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me…
- Imagery, Livestream, Nature, TechnologyLive Stream
- Can I call you back? I’m watching a live stream…
- Chocolate, Geeky, Homes, Honey, Imagery, Milk, PhonesQuite Literally…
- I phone, you tube. Hi honey, I’m home. Chocolate milk shake.
- Australia, Coronavirus, Imagery, Political, Politicians, Scott MorrisonA Visual Representation Of Scott Morrison’s Address To The Nation
- A visual representation of Scott Morrison’s address to the nation tonight
- ImageryProof That Not Knowing Everything Is The Best Way To Go
- Proof that not knowing everything is the best way to go.
- Earth, Imagery, Risqué, Solar SystemDon’t Masturbate
- Don’t Masturbate!
- Alcohol, Beer, Fitness, ImageryI Wonder What I Would Look Like With A Six Pack?
- I wonder what I would look like with a six pack? Ahh, much better!
- Geeky, InternetUsing AOL? Mind If We LOL?
- Using AOL? Mind if we LOL?
- Atoms, Imagery, SignsDo Not Trust Atoms
- Do not trust atoms. They make up everything.
- SexistPerfect Riddle
- Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met…
- Animals, Cats, Imagery, KittensNo Sitz
- I be here!
- Animals, Australia, Cockatoos, Flies, Imagery, Kangaroos, Kookaburras, Magpies, Possums, Snakes, Spiders, SunburnTypically Australian Problems
- Some typically Australian problems that other people don’t face.
- Imagery, SexistHow Could You Be So Insensitive?
- How Could You Be So Insensitive? This is what it looks like from the other person’s perspective.
- SexistMen Are Happier
- Men are Happier: What do you expect from such simple creatures?
- Children, Parenting, Risqué“Hi Honey. This Is Daddy. Is Mummy Near The Phone?”
- Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mummy near the phone?
- Bones, ImageryI Found This Humerus
- I found this humerus.
- Imagery, MedicalHearing Aids
- Hearing aids…
- Geeky, Imagery, InternetSlashdot For Dummies
- Slashdot for Dummies – A Reference for the Rest of Us!
- Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Internet ExplorerWhat Are We? Browsers!
- What are we? Browsers! What do we want? More speed! And when do we want it? Right now!
- Animals, Cats, Dogs, JokeWoof
- How do you get a cat to bark like a dog?
- Coronavirus, Gynaecology, ImageryVisiting Your Gynaecologist During Coronavirus
- Visiting your Gynaecologist during Coronavirus
- Animals, Dogs, Education, Elephants, Exams, Fish, Imagery, Monkeys, Penguins, School, SealsOur Education System
- [To an assorted group of animals] Our Education System: For a fair selection everybody has to take the same exam: Please climb that tree.
- Babies, Cars, Imagery, StickersBaby On Board
- Baby on Board
- America, Imagery, Obama, PoliticalBarack Obama: What I Actually Do
- Barack Obama: What I actually do.
- Computers, Geeky, ImageryKeyboards
- Amusing Keyboards
- Animals, ImageryWireless Technology
- “It is a bit freaky with this wireless technology”
- America, Democracy, PoliticalHow To Know When You’ve Met A Democrat
- Just in case you have trouble knowing when you’ve met a Democrat…
- Alcohol, Animals, Dogs, Imagery, Skateboards, Smoking, WineBad Dog Is Banned From The Park
- I don’t know who this dog is or why he is banned from this park, but he certainly seems like a lot of fun.
- Engineering, Flowcharts, Geeky, ImageryEngineering Flowchart
- Nothing duct tape and WD-40 can’t fix…
- Animals, Bread, Dogs, Food, ImageryI’m Inbred!
- I’m Inbred!
- Babies, ImagerySpot The Baby
- Spot the baby. No, the other one.
- Australia, Cars, Floods, Imagery, MechanicalDunno Mate, Maybe She’s Flooded?
- Dunno mate, maybe she’s flooded?
- Babies, ImageryNow Airtight
- Now airtight… to prevent aging!
- Crime, Police, ShootingThe Floor Is Still Wet
- I have an interesting case here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped…
- Imagery, TattoosFree Tattoo Removal
- Free (and perhaps painful) tattoo removal.
- Imagery, RisquéAncient Japanese Proverb
- Ancient Japanese Proverb. If you cannot understand Japanese, tilt your head to the right…
- Cars, Imagery, MoviesDiesel
- Hey, wanna know what I put in my car?
- Animals, Cats, Egyptians, Hieroglyphics, ImageryAncient Egyptians: Posting Cats To Their Walls Since 3150 BC
- Ancient Egyptians: Posting cats to their walls since 3150 BC
- SexistSocialize
- Men socialize by insulting each other…
- InternetMoronic Email Scam
- Nigerian spam…
- America, Imagery, Nsa, Obama, Phones, SpyingObama: “Aww No! Both Of You Hang Up!”
- Her: “Ok, you hang up.” Him: “No, you hang up.” Her: “Haha, no you hang up.” Obama: “Aww no! Both of you hang up!”
- Imagery, SexistWomen: Yes, No, Maybe…
- I think I have that women-talk all figured out…
- ReligiousThe Pope Is Busted
- After getting all of Pope John Paul’s luggage loaded into the limo…
- ☺Pages By Date
- A list of all the pages, sorted by their last updated or creation dates.
- Geeky, ImageryCaps Lock
- A visual representation of the use of caps lock.
- Cameras, Cannons, Imagery, NikonI Have A Cannon
- You have a Nikon? I have a Cannon.
- England, Imagery, UkAnarchy In The UK
- Would you like some tea?
- AudioPsychiatric Answering Machine
- A Psychiatric Office Answering Machine.
- Alice In Wonderland, Imagery, Movies, SexistUltimate Chick Flick
- Ultimate chick flick: Two women fighting over a pair of shoes
- ImagerySense
- …this picture makes none.
- Animals, Imagery, LlamasGet In The Llama
- No time to explain! Get in the llama…
- ImageryLow Battery Warning
- Plug in or find another power source. Or panic now!
- Drink, Food, ImageryThings To Eat And Drink In Public
- Things to eat and drink in public.
- Easter, Eggs, ImageryDye Job
- Check out the dye job on her? Tramp!
- Facebook, Geeky, Imagery, InternetGoogle+ Versus Facebook
- Google Plus versus Facebook
- ToysThe Horror Of Blimps
- Some blimps are better off dead…
- Animals, Apples, Cats, Imagery, MathSeven Cats
- If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?
- Imagery, Police, ProtestsPolice & Protesters Help Fat Man Remove Pants
- Police & Protesters help fat man remove pants…
- ☺A Middle-aged Woman Decides To Have A Facelift…
- A middle-aged woman decides to have a facelift…
- Dogs, ImageryMy Dog Bailey Tried To Steal Stuff Out Of My Daughter’s Purse.
- My dog Bailey tried to steal stuff out of my daughter’s purse. He got stuck and came over to me for help.
- Accidents, Cars, Imagery, TrucksThe Road To Success
- On the road to success, there are no shortcuts…
- Board Games, ImageryMarry Me
- Scrabble Edition.
- Advertising, Clothing, Fashion, Imagery, SexistWhy Men Die Before Women
- Why men die before women.
- Imagery, Winnie The PoohPooh Everywhere
- Watch your step, there’s pooh everywhere!
- Advertising, Food, Fountain, Imagery, Tomato Sauce, WoolworthsBuy Two & Receive A Free Fountain Face!
- Buy two and receive a Free Fountain Face!
- ☺Talking Clock
- Why, that’s my Talking Clock…
- America, Guns, ImageryHow To Sneak Chocolate Into An American Movie Theatre.
- How to sneak chocolate into an American movie theatre.
- Advertising, Cocaine, Drugs, Imagery, Toothache, VintageCocaine Toothache Drops
- Cocaine Toothache Drops: Instantaneous Cure! 15¢.
- Animals, Cats, ImageryCat In A Cat Box
- A cat in a Cat box.
- Imagery, RacistHow To Be Black
- How to be Black: An Instructional Book.
- Computer Games, Imagery, SexistCall Of Duty: Women’s Edition
- Call of Duty: Women’s Edition.
- Advertising, Imagery, Skype, VintageSkype
- Vintage Skype advert.
- Beer, Computers, GeekyIf Beer Was Like Operating Systems...
- If Beer was like Operating Systems…
- Harry Potter, Imagery, SmsMaster Has Presented Dobby With Clothes! Dobby Is Free!
- Well I’m grounded. WTF did you do this time? My Mum asked me to do the laundry and threw a sock at me… I ran away screaming “Master has presented Dobby with clothes! Dobby is free!”
- Computers, Evolution, ImagerySomething Went Terribly Wrong
- Something, somewhere went terribly wrong.
- Animals, Imagery, SlugsFeeling Sluggish
- I’ve been feeling a bit sluggish…
- Animals, Elephants, Imagery, Kenya, ZoosMan & Elephant
- In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Louisiana State University…
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryA Little Hand
- I wish you could give me a little hand…
- Animals, Cats, DogsCats And Dogs
- As seen in a dog’s diary…
- Imagery, Men, SexistMen Have Feelings Too!
- Men have feelings too! For example, we feel hungry.
- Aeroplanes, Aircraft, Imagery, WarRequesting Air Support
- Requesting Air Support! “Believe in yourself. You can do it!”
- Imagery, Risqué, SexistGrow Some Balls
- Why do people say ‘grow some balls’?
- Apple, Apples, Computers, Food, Imagery, Laptops, TechnologyMake Your Own Apple Laptop
- Make your own Apple laptop the cheap—and healthy—way!
- Geeky, Imagery, InternetYour Computer Is Broadcasting Your IP...
- Your computer is broadcasting your IP over the Internet…
- Geeky, SexistDear Tech Support
- Girlfriend technical support…
- Angry Birds, Animals, Australia, Birds, Computer Games, ImageryAngry Birds Australia
- Angry Birds Australia…
- Animals, Imagery, RacistBlack Bears
- Uh oh Howard. Looks like this area has black bears…
- Ice Cream, ImageryI Scream Cone
- I Scream Cone.
- Animals, Eggs, Giraffes, ImageryGiraffe Egg
- Giraffe Egg.
- Imagery, StovesCool Stoves
- Cool Stoves
- Animals, Imagery, Spiders, ZombiesZombie Apocalypse Spider
- I laugh at your claims to bravely take on a zombie apocalypse, when most of you can’t stand up to a spider.
- PoliticalBush And The Queen
- While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen…
- Facebook, Imagery, InternetFuture Man
- So you’re saying people will “tweet” what they’re eating for breakfast?
- Geeky, Imagery, Sexist, WomenHazardous Materials Data Sheet – Woman
- Hazardous Materials Data Sheet – Woman.
- Animals, ImageryJust Checking
- “Just doing a spot-check to see what you’re doing… Yup, sitting at your computer again!” The expression on this ostrich’s face is excellent.
- Imagery, TvThinking Outside The Square
- A sideways television.
- Imagery, ScissorsI Run With Scissors
- I run with scissors: It makes me feel dangerous.
- Imagery, SexistIron Man Competition
- Ironman Competition - the way it should be…
- Aboriginal, Australia, Gay, RacistAboriginal Jobs
- At the end of a tiny, deserted bar is a huge Aboriginal bloke…
- AustraliaText Of A Letter From A Kid From Eromanga To Mum And Dad.
- Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad.
- English, Grammar, ImageryGrammar Matters
- Two Google searches: One for “how can u” and one for “how can an individual”
- SexistMen Vs. Women
- Men versus women…
- Apple, Imagery, Iphone, PhonesUpgrade Kit For IPhone 4 Owners
- Upgrade kit for iPhone 4 owners. Only 99¢.
- Cartoons, ImageryFor A Good Time
- For a good time, call…
- Animals, Art, Bananas, Carving, Food, Horses, ImageryBanana Carving
- Banana Carving.
- Imagery, Nietzsche, ReligiousNietzsche Is Dead
- God is dead” ~Nietzsche / “Nietzsche is dead” ~God.
- Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Imagery, Internet Explorer, Opera, SafariBrowsers: Their Differences
- The differences between the major web browsers.
- Christmas, Christmas Lights, ImageryChristmas Lights: Ditto
- Ditto to that…
- Imagery**** I Forgot To Turn Off The Oven
- **** I forgot to turn off the oven.
- Animated, ImagerySpiderman
- If Spiderman was a gay night-clubber…
- Bananas, Fruit, ImageryAppealing Attire
- I find this attire… appeeling.
- Ice, Imagery, MindpowerMelt Ice With My Mind
- I can melt ice with my mind… just give me a few minutes…
- Animals, Dogs, ImagerySo We Got Pugsy A New Chew Toy…
- So we got Pugsy a new chew toy…
- Bacon, ImageryTen Pieces Of Bacon
- If I had 10 pieces of bacon, and you took 4, what would you have? Yes, that’s right you’d have a black eye and a bruised hand.
- Asian, Facebook, Imagery, RacistHumans Of Sunnybank
- In Asia culture, it’s important for wife to trust husband and let him be the leader in the house. That’s why after I am married, I will always leave big decision to him – for example, choosing between buy me a Chanel for birthday or go sleep on sofa for a whole month instead.
- Artists, Justin Bieber, MusiciansDear Justin Bieber Haters
- I owe my life to Justin Bieber…
- Boats, Imagery, Rowing, WarRow Row Row Your Boat
- Row row row your boat. Shut up Carl.
- Australia, Cooking, God, Imagery, KitchensIn God’s Kitchen
- In God’s Kitchen: What are you cooking?
- Facebook, Imagery, Sexist, Sport, VolleyballLadies Beach Volleyball
- Just been watching Ladies Beach Volleyball, and there’s already been a wrist injury… but I should be OK by Friday.
- Redheads, SexistRedheads
- How do you get a redhead…
- Animated, Geeky, Imagery, PhotoshopAdobe Photoshop CS6 Has Stopped Working
- The realest photography struggle ever…
- Bikes, ImagerySquare Bike
- Surprisingly good riding down stairs… not so good on the flat.
- Advertising, Imagery, Motorola, Tv, VintageTelevision Benefits Your Children
- How television benefits your children.
- Cars, Imagery, Movies, Pulp Fiction, The RockHave You Seen Pulp Fiction?
- Have you seen Pulp Fiction? Yeah, but I didn’t like it.
- Animals, Cars, Children, Girls, Horses, ImageryNo Pony For Christmas
- No pony for Christmas? No window for driving!
- Brisbane, Imagery, Logan, Racist, WoodridgeSimba & Woodridge
- But what about that shadowy place?
- Eggs, ImageryEscape Egg
- Counting down the days to escape…
- Australia, PoliticalCostello’s Reward For Being Loyal
- Costello’s reward for being loyal…
- Animals, Golf, Imagery, Sport, TurtlesWorld’s Largest Golf Ball
- World’s largest golf ball. Gigantic turtle for scale.
- Imagery, Phones, Sms, SmsLost Phone
- A man sends SMS from a lost phone…
- Illusion, ImageryWhat Kind Of Sorcery Lets These Two Blocks Be The Same Color?
- One is dark, one is light. One is gray, one is white. These are obviously two different blocks with two different colors right? Wrong. The two blocks are the same color.
- Australia, Democracy, Political, RacistThe Ant And The Grasshopper
- The Original Story of the Ant and the Grasshopper.
- Illusion, ImageryHinton’s “Lilac Chaser”
- The Dotty Illusion…
- Imagery, MilkLying About Skim Milk
- There’s only one thing I hate more than lying. Skim milk, which is water that’s lying about being milk.
- Australia, Condoms, New Zealand, Racist, RisquéKiwi Condoms
- Australia runs out of condoms…
- Religious, Risqué, WorkCorporate Lessons
- Corporate lessons.
- GeekyUnusual EBay Feedback
- A+++! Would read this amusing page again…
- Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery, SexistXBOX Girlfriend
- A real girlfriend does not complain when her boyfriend is on his xbox…
- Cartoons, Fire, Imagery, StairsIn Case Of Fire, Take Stairs
- In case of fire, take stairs.
- Alcohol, ImagerySlimming Drink
- You look so much better after a glass or two!
- Africa, Apple, Imagery, Ipad, StarvingThinner Than Ever
- Thinner than ever.
- Alcohol, Imagery, SexistLet’s Go For A Drink…
- Goldstar Beer Ads: What goes through the mind of men and women when they’re asked to go for a drink…
- Dating, Imagery, Relationships, SexistAnd Then I Said
- And Then I Said… The Differences Between Boys & Girls.
- Canada, RacistAn Ontarian Wanted To Become A Newfie…
- An Ontarian wanted to become a Newfie…
- ImageryI See Dumb People
- I see dumb people… They are everywhere!
- Cats, Comics, ImageryPop Out Of Bed
- If people were meant to pop out of bed we’d all sleep in toasters.
- Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Linux, Mac, WindowsUpdate Available
- An update is available for your computer…
- Clippit, Imagery, Microsoft, Office, Paperclips, WorkIt Looks Like You Are Wasting Office Supplies. Would You Like Some Help?
- Clippit: It looks like you are wasting office supplies. Would you like some help?
- Cartoons, Comics, Imagery, MoviesThe Bat Cave
- The location of our Bat Cave is meant to be secret, so stop checking in!
- Advertising, Billboards, ImageryThere Are Two Rules For Success
- There are two rules for success: Never reveal everything you know…
- Alcohol, Animated, Fire, Imagery, Racist, Russia, SneezingIn Russia People Sneeze Fire
- In Russia people sneeze fire after drinking lots of vodka.
- Geeky, JokesIntellectual Jokes
- Believing this statement will make you happier.
- Cars, ImagerySideways Car
- It’s a little confusing…
- PoliticalOrdering Pizza In The Year 2025
- Ordering pizza in the year 2025…
- Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, Microsoft OfficeMicrosoft Office Suite Pass Key
- Does anyone have an extra Microsoft Office suite pass key?
- Animals, Cars, Driving, Imagery, KoalasDon’t Worry I’m Koalafied To Drive
- Don’t worry I’m Koalafied to drive.
- Imagery, Jobs, WorkHonesty: Your Greatest Weakness
- Interviewer: What would you consider to be your greatest weakness?
- Aliens, ImageryFunniest Alien Fan Art I’ve Seen
- Funniest Alien Fan Art I’ve Seen.
- Advertising, Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Phones, Samsung, Samsung Galaxy, TechnologyApple IPhone 20 & Samsung Galaxy S23 – Sword & Shield
- A mock-up of the iPhone 20 and Samsung Galaxy S23, after the launch of the “taller” iPhone5 & the larger Galaxy S3.
- Animals, Imagery, KangaroosI Said Be Quiet! Don’t Make Me Come In There!
- I said be quiet! Don’t make me come in there!
- Computer Games, ImageryVideo Games Ruined My Life
- Video games ruined my life. Good thing I have two more.
- Alligators, Animals, Crocodiles, Imagery, TurtlesTurtle Cavalry
- Onward, alligator steed!
- France, Imagery, North Korea, RacistFrance Surrenders To North Korea
- France surrenders to North Korea
- Money, SexistFemale Financial Planning
- Women are so much better at financial planning than men.
- Anatidaephobia, Animals, Ducks, ImageryAnatidaephobia
- Anatidaephobia is the fear that somewhere in the world, there is a duck watching you.
- Advertising, Feminine Hygiene, Imagery, Risqué, Sexist, Tampons, VintageThe Girls Are Talking About Tampons
- The Blonde: It’s invisible sanitary protection, thank heavens…
- Animals, Birds, Imagery, Notices, Parrots, SignsParrot BBQ
- Parrot Lost: Parrot BBQ!
- Coronavirus, Hands, Hand Washing, Imagery, WashingRemember To Wash Your Hands!
- My drawing is not great but please remember to wash your hands. Stay safe guys!
- America, Cia, Cocaine, Coke, Drugs, ImageryCIA: We Put The Coke In America
- CIA: we put the coke in America.
- Famous People, Imagery, Movie StarsReese Witherspoon
- Reese Withoutherspoon.
- Illusion, ImageryAfterburn - Whom Do You See?
- Relax and concentrate on the four small dots in the middle of the picture…
- English, GrammarThat’s What She Said
- That’s what she said.
- Betas, Bugs, Calendars, Cartoons, Imagery, MayansMayan’s Beta Calendar Bug
- …to get to the point; why does your calendar end in 2012? Oh, that’s just a temporary problem in the beta version!
- Animals, Imagery, PigsBacon Seed
- Bacon seed.
- Animals, Boobs, Imagery, SlothsLook At This Boob
- Look at this boob. This is a nice boob.
- For Sale, Imagery, Posters, PrintersPrinter For Sale
- Printer For Sale. Works Terribly.
- Animals, JokeThe Dead Rabbit
- The Dead Rabbit, aka The Worst Joke Ever…
- Bananas, Food, Imagery, SausagesBanana Sausage
- Banana sausage…
- Animals, Cats, Imagery, Mayans, PredictionsWorst Apocalypse Ever
- [A grumpy cat the day the Mayan calendar ended] “Still Here. Worst Apocalypse Ever.”
- Board Games, Imagery, SexistWomen’s Monopoly
- By a man…
- Australia, Cars, Ghosts, Pub, Storm, SupernaturalA True Australian Ghost Story
- This story happened a short while ago near Brisbane, and even though it sounds a little Alfred Hitchcock… it’s (supposedly) true.
- Imagery, PhonesJack’s Phone
- Why aren’t you answering…?
- Comics, Dancing, Imagery, Ireland, Irish, Irish DanceThe Book Of Irish Dance: Volume Two
- Whilst doing a long overdue clearout at the offices of Ireland’s oldest and most respected school of dance, Mrs O’Hara made a terrible discovery…
- Beer, ImagerySix Die In Horror Smash
- Six Die in Horror Smash.
- Animals, Imagery, TurtlesYou’ll Never Be As Happy As This Turtle
- You’ll never be as happy as this turtle.
- Animals, Dogs, Drugs, Imagery, MethMeth Lab Dog
- Yellow Lab, Black Lab, Chocolate Lab, Meth Lab!
- Diets, Food, Paleolithic DietPaleolithic Diet
- Something’s just not right—our air is clean, our water is pure, we all get plenty of exercise, everything we eat is organit and free-range, and yet nobody lives past thirty.
- Biology, Imagery, MathBiology, Multiplication And Division
- Biology – the only science where multiplication and division mean the same thing…
- English, Grammar, ImageryComforting A Grammar Nazi
- When comforting a grammar nazi, I always say softly, “there, their, they’re”
- Imagery, Jobs, Pie Charts, Statistics, WorkChance Of Keeping Your Job If You’re Wrong More Than 75% Of The Time
- Chance of keeping your job if you’re wrong more than 75% of the time.
- Imagery, Phones, SmsStreet Name
- Hey, what’s your street name?
- Clothes, Hats, Imagery, TiesYou Hang Around, I’ll Go On Ahead
- You hang around, I’ll go on ahead.
- ImageryStatistics That Matter: The Pie Chart
- A new take on the traditional pie… chart.
- Aeroplanes, Buses, Cars, Electricity, Firefighters, Imagery, VaccinesRe-Think Vaccines
- Next time someone tells you to re-think vaccines, show them this.
- Geeky, InternetCannot Find The Damn File
- Cannot find the damn file…
- WorkMergers
- Amusing mergers.
- Animals, Birds, Crows, Imagery, TrucksCrows Killed By Trucks
- Why are so many crows killed by trucks?
- Imagery, JokeHow Many Alzheimer’s Patients Does It Take?
- To get to the other side!
- Computers, ImageryAlready Exists
- skdjaskdhsajdahsdjashds.jpg already exists. Do you want to replace it? You've got to be kidding me.
- Cars, Imagery, StickersF It
- F-it
- Ballerinas, Imagery, WomenFreshly Washed Ballerinas
- Freshly washed ballerinas.
- Hammer, ImageryStop! Hammer Time
- Stop! Hammer Time!
- Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, SexistAmazing Hidden Images
- Amazing Hidden Images!
- Imagery, Jokes, Paper, Puns, SignsTearable Puns
- These are tearable puns.
- Beaches, Imagery, WomenBitches Be Trippin’
- Bitches be trippin’
- Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Internet ExplorerBrowser Wars
- Browser Wars: Chrome versus Firefox… and Internet Explorer…
- Business Cards, Geeky, Imagery, Notepad, WindowsNotepad Business Card
- A business card styled to look like Windows Notepad.
- Emoji, Imagery, Phones, SmsEmoji
- Alien blood transfusions are illegal for ghosts, but beach chickens win!
- America, Calendars, Imagery, Mayans, Obama, Political, PredictionsThe Mystery Of The Mayan Calendar Revealed
- At last, the mystery of the Mayan calendar revealed.
- Animals, Imagery, SharksMisunderstood Sharks
- Misunderstood Sharks.
- ImagerySimple Eye Examination Test
- A simple eye examination chart.
- Advertising, Apple, Computers, Geeky, Imagery, MacMac Weed
- A take-off of the Apple Macintosh switch ads.
- Geeky, RisquéEUNUCH Programmer's Manual - CONDOM(1)
- The EUNUCH Programmer's Manual - CONDOM(1)
- Imagery, Motorbikes, SportOh Look, A Penny
- Oh look, a penny!
- Mayans, PredictionsMayans Predicting The Future
- Calm down… If the Mayans were good at predicting the future, there would still be Mayans.
- Campervans, Camping, Cars, ImageryNot A Happy Camper
- Not a Happy Camper.
- Apple, Imagery, Ios, Ios7, Iphone, Mobiles, PhonesThe New IPhone 5C With IOS 7
- The new iPhone 5C with IOS 7.
- Geeky, InternetAmusing Chat
- Humour from the world of Internet Chat
- Imagery, Injuries, Sexist, SportMen & Women In Sport
- Women: No problem girls… I can go on. Men: Ahhhh! I’m dying.
- Alarms, Animals, Clocks, Imagery, SpidersAlarm Clock That Releases Spiders
- Million dollar idea… alarm clock that releases spiders! Now you’re up!
- Accidents, Helmets, Imagery, Jamaica, Motorbikes, Risqué, SexistWhat’s The Main Reason For Motorbike Accidents In Jamaica?
- What’s the main reason for motorbike accidents in Jamaica?
- English, Grammar, Imagery, School, TeachersGrammar Vandal
- When English teachers snap: Sorry Ma’am, but bad grammar is no excuse for vandalism.
- Political, ReligiousThe 10 Commandments
- The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse or parliament…
- Imagery, Newspapers, TechnologyAll This Technology Is Making Us Antisocial
- All this technology is making us antisocial: A tram full of people ignoring each other and reading the newspaper.
- Imagery, Reincarnation, WoodReincarnation Gone Horribly Wrong
- Reincarnation gone horribly wrong
- English, Grammar, Risqué, School, University, WritingShort Story
- A college class was told they had to write a short story in as few words as possible.…
- English, VegetablesThe Correct Way To Spell Potato
- The correct way to spell potato is “GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU”.
- Animals, Bears, Cartoons, Imagery, PigsJackass Piglet
- Hi, my name’s piglet and this is Jackass.
- Animals, Imagery, RaccoonsGet Well Soon
- A raccoon lies dead on the road, holding a “get well soon” balloon.
- Imagery, Ocd, ShirtsI Have CDO. It’s Like OCD But All The Letters Are In Alphabetical Order.
- I have CDO. It’s like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order. As they should be.
- Alcohol, Goon, Imagery, Logan, Police, RacistLargest Goon Bust In Logan’s History
- Logan police in conjunction with the A.F.P. hauled in the largest goon bust in Logan’s history. With an estimated street value of $39.
- Imagery, MotivationalSomeone Out There Cares
- I want you to know that someone out there cares. Not me, but someone does.
- Illusion, ImageryThe Angry/Calm Illusion
- The Angry/Calm Illusion.
- Illusion, ImageryRound Illusion
- Unusual round illusion.
- Stress, WorkStress Management
- A stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological texts.
- Cars, Computer Games, Geeky, ImageryGamers: The Mentality
- Objects in mirror are losing.
- Australia, New Zealand, RacistAn Aussie Taxidermist In New Zealand…
- An Aussie Taxidermist in New Zealand…
- Australia, Chillis, Food, Racist, TexasAn Australian Chilli Tester In Texas…
- An Australian chilli tester in Texas…
- Camping, Grammar, Imagery, TentsYou Can’t Run Through A Campground
- You can’t run through a campground. You can only ran, because it’s past tents.
- Animals, Imagery, RabbitsWhat Rabbits Do
- What rabbits do when humans go out…
- Balls, Illusion, ImageryAll The Balls Are The Same Colour!
- All the balls are the same colour — and that colour is brown
- Africa, Animals, Cars, Elephants, ImageryYou Know You Are Having A Bad Day When…
- You know you are having a bad day when…
- Daughters, Families, Imagery, MothersMum, What’s It Like To Have The Greatest Daughter In The World?
- Mum, what’s it like to have the greatest daughter in the world? I don’t know dear… you’ll have to ask grandma.
- Dalai Lama, Daleks, Dr Who, Imagery, Reincarnation, TvDalek Lama
- Reincarnate! Reincarnate!
- Adobe, Geeky, Imagery, UpdatesAdobe Updates
- I don’t always have an update…
- RacistFerrari Sack Pit Crew
- The Ferrari Formula 1 Team fired their entire pit crew yesterday…
- Imagery, RisquéFingering A Minor
- Fingering A Minor for hours on my bed.
- Actors, Famous People, Imagery, Movie Stars, Robert De NiroRobert De Niro, De Faro
- First Robert De Niro, then Robert De Faro.
- Imagery, PhotographyOlympus Fights Back
- Olympus Fights Back: Canon versus Olympus
- Imagery, WifiBasic Human Needs
- Basic human needs… like Wi-Fi.
- Animals, Bugs, Flies, Imagery, Joke, MitesHey, Bug On My Back…
- Hey, bug on my back, are you a mite? I mite be. Stupidest pun I ever heard…
- WorkPhysical Fitness
- This department requires no physical fitness program.
- Imagery, ReligiousBelieve In Reincarnation
- Yeah, well, I didn’t believe in reincarnation when I was your age, either.
- Alphabet, Doctors, ImageryThe Medical Alphabet
- The Medical Alphabet
- Imagery, Shirts, Tourettes, TshirtsWhat Do We Want? A Cure For Tourettes!
- What do we want? A cure for tourettes! When do we want it? …
- Christian, Imagery, Jewish, Muslim, RacistAn Atheist, A Jew, And A Christian Walk Into A Bar…
- An atheist, a Jew, and a Christian walk into a bar…
- Risqué, Sexist, ViagraDealing With Hunger Pangs
- A woman asks her partner at breakfast time, “Would you like some bacon and eggs a slice of toast and, maybe, some grapefruit juice and coffee?”
- Animals, Imagery, OctopusesDrunk Octopus Wants To Fight
- Drunk Octopus Wants to Fight…
- Breakfast, ImageryHow Did You Get In My House?
- If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple “Thank you” is all I need. Not all this “How did you get in my house?” business.
- Babies, Imagery, Kanye West, Kim Kardashian, Phones, Sms, Taylor Swift, TwitterYo I’m Happy For You And Imma Let You Finish But…
- [Twitter] Taylor Swift: @KimKardashian @kanyewest Yo I’m happy for you and imma let you finish but Beyonce had one of the best labours of all time.
- Animals, Australia, Dangerous, ImageryDangerous Australia
- It’s no wonder we all live here…
- Computers, Imagery, Passwords, TechnologyNew Password Can’t Be Old Password
- Enter password. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong…
- Australia, Football, Imagery, Muslim, Racist, SportWell, I Guess We’ll Beheading Home Now
- Well, I guess we’ll beheading home now…
- Bsod, Geeky, Microsoft, WindowsBSOD: Blue Screen Of Death
- The dreaded blue screen of death…
- Bananas, Food, George Bush, ImageryThis Banana Tastes Funny
- “This banana tastes funny” – George Bush.
- Cooking, Imagery, Smoke DetectorsWhat Smoke Detectors Warn You About
- What smoke detectors warn you about.
- PoliticalMerry Christmas & A Happy New Year
- Merry Christmas & A Happy New Year.
- English, GrammarEnglish
- Let’s face it - English is a crazy language.
- ImageryFight Apathy
- …or don’t.
- ImageryHoliday House
- The Holiday House
- Fruit, Grapes, ImageryBeware The Grapes Of Wrath
- Beware the Grapes of Wrath.
- Imagery, Mafia, RecruitersRecruiters Are One Step Above The Mafia
- Recruiters are one step above the Mafia…
- Australia, France, Imagery, Racist, RisquéAustralian Kiss
- Australian Kiss: same as a French Kiss… but down under.
- Animals, Bunnies, Imagery, RabbitsEmo Bunny
- Emo bunny: No one ever understands him
- Imagery, Mistakes, PostersMake Some More Mistakes
- I’ve learned so much from my mistakes… I’m thinking of making a few more.
- Marriage, SexistSecrets To A Happy Marriage
- Secrets to a Happy Marriage…
- Bob Hope, Imagery, Johnny Cash, Kevin Bacon, Steve JobsDon’t Let Kevin Bacon Die
- 20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have No Cash, No Hope and No Jobs. Please don’t let Kevin Bacon die.
- Animals, Giraffes, Imagery, SpidersGiraffe Spider
- A giraffe spots a spider…
- Australia, Coronavirus, Political, Politicians, Scott MorrisonConfirmed Case Of Corona
- Hey babe, just thought you should know there’s a confirmed case of corona in our neighbourhood…
- Adoption, Babies, ImageryAdopted Baby
- Dude, I’m joking, you are not adopted!
- Bogans, Imagery, Iphone, SpeakersBogan Bass
- Bogan Bass: Yet somehow still better than Beats by Dr Dre.
- ImageryProcrastination Issues
- I’m taking care of my procrastination issues; just you wait and see.
- Elderly, Hearing Aids, ImageryExpensive Hearing Aid
- A man was telling his neighbour, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.”
- Imagery…and So It Was.
- It’s a Bird! It’s a Plane!
- Bags, Imagery, ShoppingI’ll Be Bag
- A bag titled “I’ll Be Bag”
- ☺The Fellowship Of The Ring
- The Fellowship of the Ring.
- Animals, Imagery, SpidersLet’s All Take A Moment And Be Thankful That Spiders Don’t Fly.
- Let’s all take a moment and be thankful that spiders don’t fly!
- Aeroplanes, Imagery, Oceans, SubmarinesSubmarines In The Sky
- Did you know that there are more planes in the sea than there are submarines in the sky?
- Geeky, Imagery, Ninjas, Pirates, ZombiesSurvival Tracking Guide
- The Pirate, the Ninja, & the Zombie…
- ImageryFingers Move
- I think you’re spending too much time on the computer. Your fingers move when you talk…
- Asian, Imagery, Iphone, Racist, RiceIf Your Phone Gets Wet, Try Placing It In A Bag Of Rice
- If your phone gets wet, try placing it in a bag of rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you.
- Animals, Beavers, Birds, Cats, Dogs, Fish, Frogs, Horses, Imagery, Puns, Rabbits, ZebraPunny Animals
- Who ever invented the “knock-knock jokes” should get a no-bell prize!
- Canada, Imagery, NoticesCanadian Security
- Canadian Security: It may seem rude but for security reasons please do not open the door to strangers.
- America, Congress, Imagery, It Crowd, PoliticalCongress: Have You Tried Turning It Off And On Again?
- Congress: have you tried turning it off and on again?
- Imagery, SexistWoman With PMS
- Woman with PMS.
- Animals, ImageryCat Legs
- There really isn’t much else to say about this.
- Animals, Cats, Imagery, Snow, SnowballsThe Cat & The Snowball
- The Cat & the Snowball.
- Cars, ReligiousRoad Rage
- Two cars were waiting at a stoplight. The light turned green, but the man didn’t notice it…
- RisquéMonica
- Monica walks into her dry cleaning store…
- Imagery, SmsBack From The Dead
- Woo, it’s me! Back from the dead!
- Imagery, Psychotherapists, TherapyHappy People
- If you don’t see happy people, you need therapy!
- ☺Idiots
- Idiots everywhere…
- MedicalSeek And Find You…
- I shall seek and find you…
- Animals, Australia, Crocodiles, Emus, Imagery, Kangaroos, Koalas, Kookaburras, Police, Sharks, Spiders, Woolworths26 Everyday Occurrences In Australia
- When you live on a barely hospitable desert island that was once a continent-sized penal colony, your life tends to be a little more badass than the average person’s.
- Police, RisquéPanties
- Policewoman: Anything you say will be taken down!
- ImageryCute Party Trick
- Man with finger up nose and out of eye.
- Children, Imagery, ParentingAn Angry Child
- If she doesn’t put me down in about two seconds, I will be forced to use my fist!
- Imagery, PunsThe Highest Form Of Flattery
- Plateaus: The highest form of flattery.
- Australia, History, RacistA Brief History Of Australia
- Australia was founded in 1901 by Jimmy “Crocodile” Austral, a deportee of England who was banished for cannibalism, having eaten 32 members of the House of Lords. In accordance with English colonial law, this entitled him to an entire already-inhabited continent.
- Animals, Dachshunds, Dogs, Imagery, RacingDachshund Racing
- Googled “dachshund racing”. Was not disappointed.
- GeekyHow Many Does It Take...
- How many forum posters does it take to change a light bulb?
- Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, Nokia, PhonesIPhone 5 Plus Versus Nokia 3310
- iPhone 6 Plus versus Nokia 3310: Does it bend?
- Einstein, ImageryYou Matter
- You are living, you occupy space, you have a mass… you matter.
- Animals, Babies, Biblical, Dogs, Imagery, ReligiousTake His Wife And Flee
- It seems Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but she looked back and turned into a pillar of salt! What happened to the flea?
- Imagery, NinjasNinja Exit
- Ninja Exit Only
- Boats, Burials, Cemetries, Funerals, Imagery, SexistBoat Funeral
- A funeral procession pulled into a cemetery. Several carloads of family members followed a black truck towing a boat with a coffin in it…
- ImageryMissed You...
- Image of a soldier pointing a gun towards the camera with caption “When you first left, I missed you badly… I WONT THIS TIME”
- Imagery, Step Ladders, ToolsStep Ladder
- The Troubles of Being a Step Ladder…
- Fish, Imagery, MermaidsReverse Mermaid
- You are alone on an uninhabited island. Which of these would you choose as your companion?
- Helpline, Imagery, Phones, YogaYoga Emergency Hotline
- Yoga Emergency Hotline, how may I help you?
- Babies, Imagery, PregnancyHow Babies Are Made
- How babies are made (with an air pump).
- Animated, Chris Coutts, Flash, Imagery, No Effort OnlineChris Coutts: No Effort Online: What Does Suxor Mean 2
- Chris Coutts: No Effort Online flash animations
- ImageryWhy Women Live Longer Than Men
- Genetics - Why women live longer than men.
- Computers, ImageryTimes Change
- …but other things don’t.
- Animals, Elephants, ImageryIt’s Just One Of Those Days
- A baby elephant falls in the mud.
- Animals, Animated, Dogs, Imagery, TonguesDog Tongue
- A dog with a very long tongue.
- Imagery, New Years, ResolutionsNew Year’s Resolutions – Again
- New Year’s Resolutions – Again
- Comics, Guns, Hands, ImageryHands In The Air!
- Hands in the air! Now wave them around like you just don’t care!
- Animals, Crocodiles, ImageryCrocodile Lion
- An interesting dinnertime story…
- Imagery, Risqué, SexistThe Lift
- A man and woman meet outside an elevator door…
- Animals, Dieting, DogsPurina Diet
- The Purina Pet Food Diet.
- Geeky, ImageryDied
- …from not forwarding that text message to 10 people.
- Comics, ImageryThe Street Is Closed
- Oh no—we’re trapped in here. The street is closed.
- Guns, ImageryThe Last Known Picture Taken Of Grandpa
- A woman inadvertently points a gun towards a man.
- Boats, Books, Fishing, Reading, Sexist, WomenNever Argue With A Woman
- Never Argue with a Woman…
- Animals, Horses, Imagery, SeahorsesSeahorse
- I’m a seahorse. Your argument is invalid.
- Fans, ImageryThank You To All My Fans
- Thank you to all my fans
- Blogs, Grammar, Imagery, SpellingMisspelt Blog Post
- You wouldn't think anyone reads my blog. I haven’t got a comment in weeks. Misspell something…
- Accidents, Animals, Canada, Imagery, Moose, News, TvCanadian News
- Canadian News: Quebec snowmobiler dies after driving under a moose.
- Imagery, SignsAlways Give 100%
- Whatever you do always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.
- Internet, RisquéCybersex How-Not-To
- Cybersex how it should not be…
- Drugs, Imagery, Marijuana, SexistI Tried Pot Once. Now I’m Gay!
- I tried pot once. Now I’m gay!
- Animals, Boobs, Bras, Cats, ImageryBooby Trap
- Nooo! It’s a booby trap!
- Imagery, Psychotherapists, SignsPsycho The Rapist
- Psycho the Rapist It’s one word George!
- Food, Imagery, WorkKikkoman When He’s Down
- Your boss called to say you’re fired. So I bought your favourite soy sauce…
- Brooms, Imagery, Parking, Sexist, Witches, WomenWomen Can’t Park
- Who said that women can’t park?
- Duct Tape, Imagery, WorkEmergency Bridge Repair Team
- Duct Tape: Good for anything.
- Coathangers, Imagery, WarningsDo Not Swallow Coathangers!
- Caution: Do Not Swallow Coathangers!
- Animals, Dogs, Imagery, SnakesLong Dogs
- A man walking two long dogs meets a man walking two normal dogs…
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryFridge Magnets
- Well, tell me, Randy. Has someone eaten all the refrigerator magnets again?
- Blonde, SexistBlonde Betting
- A very attractive blonde woman arrived at a Vegas casino…
- Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, Vintage, VitaminsThe Harder A Wife Works, The Cuter She Looks
- So the harder a wife works, the cuter she looks!
- Animals, Cats, ImageryHello Kitty
- It’s sickeningly cute. Perhaps literally if its expression is anything to go by…
- Animated, Chris Coutts, Flash, Imagery, No Effort OnlineChris Coutts: No Effort Online: Ugly Whore
- Chris Coutts: No Effort Online flash animations
- Australia, Imagery, Nsw, PolicePoliceman’s Ball
- A young woman was pulled over for speeding. A NSW Police Officer walked to her car window flipping open his ticket book. She said “I bet you are going to try and sell me a ticket to the Policeman’s Ball.” He said, “NSW Police don’t have balls.” There was a moment of silence. Then he closed his book, tipped his hat, and got back in his patrol car and left!
- Clowns, Imagery, Risqué, Sex, WomenShe Made That Clown Extremely Happy
- She made that clown extremely happy.
- Imagery, Sexist, WomenFeminine Instincts
- If a girl ever pulls out a knife on you during an argument, pull out some bread and mayo. Her feminine instincts will kick in and she’ll make you a sandwich.
- Bread, Food, Imagery, TonguesPlease Use Tongue.
- Do not touch bread with hands. Please use tongue.
- Facebook, Imagery, RisquéFacebook Sex
- Taking status updates too far.
- Imagery, Iphone, Nokia, PhonesNokia Versus The IPhone
- The strongest phones ever!
- Political, RacistLetter To America
- Letter to America
- Geeky, ItNetwork Truths
- The Twelve Networking Truths.
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryFunny Dog
- The longer you look, the funnier it gets!
- Computers, Sms, WindowsWindows Frozen
- Wife texts husband on a cold winter’s morning, “Windows frozen.”
- Animals, Circuses, Dwarfs, Hippopotamuses, ImageryHippo Eats Dwarf
- A hippopotamus has swallowed a dwarf in a circus accident…
- GeekyHuman Hotfix
- Hotfix Patch for Humans released.
- Imagery, Shirts, TshirtsAttention Deficit Disorder
- Ask me about my attention deficit disorder or pie or my cat. A dog. I have a bike. Do you like TV? I saw a rock. Hi.
- New Zealand, RacistKiwi Air Disaster
- New Zealand’s worst air disaster occurred earlier today…
- Imagery, Money, Monopoly, StrippersMonopoly Money For Fake Boobs
- I think it’s only fair to throw monopoly money at strippers with fake boobs.
- Animals, Flamingos, ImageryGarden Flamingo
- Garden Flamingo…
- Imagery, Musicians, Rolling Stones, ZombiesZombies!
- Zombies! Oh, wait… false alarm, it’s just the Rolling Stones… carry on!
- Australia, Cricket, Imagery, VideoHow Cricket Looks To Most People
- How Cricket Looks to Most People.
- Animals, Cats, Imagery, LionsA Cat With A Lion’s Mane Hat
- A cat with a lion’s mane hat.
- PilotsBlind Pilots
- You know, Bob, one of these days, they’re going to scream too late, and we’re all gonna die…
- Imagery, Unicorns, Unicycles, UnitardsUnicorn, Unitard, Unicycle
- Unicorn in a unitard on a unicycle.
- Animals, Djs, Fishing, Imagery, MusicDrop The Bass
- Can’t go fishing, ‘cause I always drop the bass…
- GrammarI. Like. It. How. When. You. Read. This. The. Little. Voice. In. Your. Head. Takes. Pauses.
- I. Like. It. How. When. You. Read. This. The. Little. Voice. In. Your. Head. Takes. Pauses.
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryHide Yo Kids!
- Hide yo kids! Hide yo wife!
- Animals, Dogs, Imagery, Phones, SmsTexts From My Dog
- My dog sends me texts…
- RisquéTest Your Subconscious
- This revolutionary test will expose the secret desires from your subconscious…
- Animals, Birds, Imagery, Missing Posters, Paper, Pigeons, PostersHave You Seen This Bird?
- I met this bird by the tree near the library. We chilled for like, 5 minutes, & then without any warning he just flew away. We really hit it off. So if you see him, please let him know I miss him.
- Computers, Geeky, It, Technology101 Things You Do Not Want...
- 101 Things You Do Not Want Your System Administrator to say.
- Alcohol, Drunk, ImagerySlur In Cursive
- When I drink, I don’t slur my words… I speak in cursive.
- Animals, Bikes, Frogs, Imagery, Kermit The FrogWrong Way
- Wrong Way
- Food, Geeky, ImageryLOL For Lunch
- Ordering linguini for lunch always boosts morale.
- Imagery, PoliticalWill Be President For Food
- Boy sitting next to sign “No Campaigning beyond This Point” holding sign “Will Be President for Food”.
- GeekyQ209354 - HOWTO
- How to RTFM…
- Animals, Imagery, RisquéOld Style Birth Control
- Old Style Birth Control.
- Animals, Imagery, SealsSeal The Deal
- What do you say we go behind this rock and seal the deal?
- Computers, GeekyMicrosoft Lightbulb Jokes
- Microsoft Lightbulb Jokes.
- Cars, ImageryPolished My Car Too Much
- Polished my car too much, now it’s invisible…
- Bill Gates, Imagery, Mario, North Korea, Star Wars, WinrarThe Good Guys Of The World
- These are the Good Guys of the World.
- Imagery, SexistDifference Between Men And Women
- The difference between men and women…
- Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, Sexist, WorkJob Application
- Sexist job application.
- Risqué, SexKeep Your Mouth Shut
- If you don’t believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut!
- Imagery, SnowDead Snowmen
- Gruesomely dead snowmen.
- Imagery, RisquéToo Long
- Her: Do you want to her a joke about my vagina? Nevermind… you’ll never get it! Her: Do you want to her a joke about my vagina? Nevermind… you’ll never get it!
- Food, Imagery, ThymeToo Much Thyme On My Hands
- I’ve got way too much tyme on my hands.
- Alphabet, Games, ImageryAlphabet Game
- The Alphabet Game is a car game played to amuse travellers on long car rides.
- Imagery, Monday, Punch, WorkThe Monday Punch
- The Monday Punch: A man punched in the face.
- Africa, Animals, Imagery, MoviesThe Lion King: Proof At Last
- Pumbaa & Timon…
- Imagery, Keith Urban, MusiciansKeith Urban Accepted As Genuine Humanoid
- Clint Felmingham: Did you know? Keith Urban is accepted by many Americans as a genuine humanoid/musician. Urban, a polymer composite (90% polyethene, 8% alcohol, 2% minor celebrity), was manufactured in Caboolture, Australia in 1987..
- Australia, Doctors, Imagery, SpidersAustralian Spider Bite
- That spider bit me… am I going to become spiderman? No. This is Australia, you’re going to die.
- Computers, GeekyRandom Number
- A simple function to return a random number.
- America, RacistA Russian Arrives In New York
- A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United States…
- Geeky, Imagery, Scientific, UniversityHow People In Science See Each Other
- How People in Science See Each Other.
- Advertising, Guns, Imagery, Revolvers, VintageIsn’t It Time You Gave Yourself A Christmas Gift?
- Isn’t it time you gave yourself a Christmas Gift?
- ImageryVegetative State
- Vegetative State.
- Animals, Imagery, SealsThe Seal Of Approval
- The Seal of Approval…
- Animals, Bears, Guns, ImageryWhat Is The Smallest Calibre You Trust To Protect Yourself?
- I remember one time while hiking with my girlfriend in northern Alberta and out of nowhere came this huge brown bear charging us, and was she mad!
- Cars, ImageryHonked At A Prius
- Honked at a Prius, scared the crap out of it.
- ImageryBatman Downsized
- Batman forced to downsize with increase in petrol prices…
- Jewellery, Jokes, Puns, RingsSomeone Stole My Mood Ring
- Someone stole my mood ring.
- Illusion, ImageryMoving Illusion
- A psychedelic illusion where a brightly coloured non-moving image appears to be pulsating in and out.
- JokeExercise - Some Facts
- Exercise… some facts.
- Boobs, Elevators, Imagery, RisquéThis Morning, I Was Beaten Up By A Busy Woman In An Elevator
- This morning, I was beaten up by a busy woman in an elevator. I was staring at her boobs when she said, “would you please press one?”. So I did. I don’t remember much after that.
- Imagery, SexistEscape From The Kitchen
- You thought you could escape from the kitchen didn’t you?
- Animals, Fish, Girls, ImagerySaved A Fish From Drowning
- Here is a heart warming picture of a little girl that saved a fish from drowning.
- Football, Relationships, Sexist, SportThe Loving Husband
- A man had two of the best tickets for the opening State of Origin match. As he sits down, another man comes along and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him…
- Imagery, PiracyPiracy Is Not Theft
- Imagine your car gets stolen, but it’s still there in the morning.
- Animals, Imagery, LlamaA Shaved Llama
- A shaved Llama
- Animals, Geeky, Imagery, Math, SnakesSnakes On A Plane
- Snakes on a plane.
- Animated, Fighting, Imagery, WweThrown Out Of The Ring
- Thrown out of the Ring.
- ImageryProblem Solving Flowchart
- A simple, and humorous, flowchart that successfully troubleshoots almost any problem you can think of.
- Accidents, Food, ImageryMilkshake Meets Door
- A woman runs into a door carrying two milkshakes.
- Fortune Cookies, ImageryYou Are Not Illiterate.
- You are not illiterate.
- Children, Grace, PrayersSix Year Old Praying
- A mother invited some people to dinner…
- Alcohol, Imagery, Marriage, WineSecrets To A Long, Happy Marriage
- An old woman was sipping on a glass of wine…
- ImageryPositive For Coke
- You’re fired Jack, the lab results just came back and you tested positive for Coke.
- Marriage, Religious, Sexist, WivesGood & Obedient Wives
- And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world…
- Apple, Computers, Imagery, Religious, Steve JobsHe’s Gonna Upgrade Your Tablets…
- Moses, meet Steve. He’s gonna upgrade your tablets…
- Cars, Imagery, PoliceMisleading The Public
- $100 for speeding and $250 for misleading the public…
- Blonde, Cars, SexistBlondeStar
- What to do when you’re locked inside your car, and the keys are outside…
- Imagery, RisquéFlower Porn
- Even flowers do it…
- Imagery, PhonesPhone Tails
- That’s right dear, our ancestors had tails.
- Highway Patrol, Police, Speeding, WorkcoverSweet Justice
- Workcover versus the police…
- ImageryHow To Be Green
- A boardgame: How to be Green…
- Girls, Imagery, Moon, Photography, Sexist, Space, WomenWent To The Moon, Took 5 Photos. Went To The Bathroom, Took 37 Photos.
- Went to the moon, took 5 photos. Went to the bathroom, took 37 photos.
- Aboriginal, Australia, Imagery, Racist, The RockStolen Generator
- So I heard about the stolen generation…
- Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Internet Explorer, Mac, WindowsCan Your Mac Do This?
- Can your Mac do this? I don’t think so…
- Darth Vader, ImageryBreathe Right
- Darth Vader going for some Breathe Right.
- Batman, Imagery, WomenNana Nana Nana Batman!
- Nana Nana Nana Batman!
- ImageryBest Way To Freak Out Your Friends
- Best way to freak out your friends: Do not open unless you plan to kill it (written on an upside down container)
- Facebook, Imagery, MoneyHow To Make Money From Facebook
- How to make money from facebook: 1) just go to “Account Settings”; 2) Press “Deactivate your account”; 3) Go to work.
- Boats, Imagery, IslandsBoat! Land!
- Boat! Land!
- ImageryCharlie Sheen For Halloween
- No, you can’t be Charlie Sheen for Halloween.
- Africa, Animals, Imagery, Lions, SafarisShould I Tell Them I’m Here?
- Should I tell them I’m here?
- Imagery, School24 Chickens
- 24 Chickens: The shoe rack at the front door…
- Geeky, Imagery, Movies, The MatrixThe Matrix
- What is The Matrix?
- ImageryMichael Jackson's Dog
- A rather mean impression of what Michael Jackson’s dog might look like, if it had similar surgery.
- Apple, Computers, Decals, Imagery, Laptops, Mac, Macbook, Stickers, TechnologyCreative Apple MacBook Stickers
- A collection of creative Apple MacBook stickers & decals.
- Chat, Imagery, InternetChat Rooms
- Chat Rooms – you never really know.
- Imagery, SexistAlways Love A Woman For Her Personality
- Always love a woman for her personality. They have like 10, so you can choose.
- Apple, Computers, Imagery, Phones, Religious, Steve JobsI Have An APP For That!
- Steve Jobs, 1955 – 2011.
- Animals, ImagerySeven Sharks
- If you own 7 cats then people will think you’re crazy…
- Risqué, SexistMating Bulls
- A man took his wife to the Rodeo and one of the exhibits is that of breeding bulls…
- Blonde, SexistA Young Brunette Goes To The Doctor...
- A young brunette goes to the doctor…
- Cake, Ikea, ImageryHappy 25th Birthday IKEA!
- Happy 25th Birthday IKEA! Here’s your cake
- Arguments, English, Grammar, ImageryArgument Typo
- Heh I was almost forced to face the fact that my argument was bad but I see here that you made a typo hahaha tough luck pal.
- JokeLaurel And Hardy
- Laurel and Hardy were repairing their roof. All of a sudden, Hardy lost his balance and went tumbling on the ground…
- Animals, Cats, Godzilla, Imagery, KittensGodzilla Kitten
- Terrifyingly cute…
- Mayans, Movies, Predictions, The Hobbit, TolkienMayans Predicting The Hobbit Movie
- Keep calm. The Mayans were simply counting down to The Hobbit movie.
- Bsod, Clippit, Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, WindowsWindows
- Windows. Still the most used operating system, and undoubtedly the most abused.
- Imagery, ShipsA Ship Shipping Ship Shipping Shipping Ships.
- A ship shipping ship shipping shipping ships.
- ImageryBefore Tweeting
- In case of fire: Exit building before tweeting about it.
- RisquéMickey Mouse
- One day, Mickey Mouse decided that he wanted a divorce…
- Animals, Ducklings, Ducks, ImageryBeware Of Cute Duckling Scam
- Beware of Cute Duckling Scam…
- Imagery, Potatoes, Vegan, VegetablesVegan Potatoes
- Vegans are evil…
- RisquéSanta’s Stressful Christmas
- Santa’s Stressful Christmas
- Geeky, Imagery, Movies, Star WarsStar Wars
- A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…
- Imagery, Paper, SignsIs It Me You’re Looking For?
- Hello? Is it me you’re looking for?
- Illusion, ImageryThey See Us Rollin’
- They See Us Rollin’… We Aren’t…
- Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryJust Being A Cat
- Dog attacks person. Put dog to sleep. Cat attacks person. LOL, jus’ bein’ a cat.
- Animated, Flash, Illusion, ImageryIllusions
- Warning: May induce epilepsy or cardiac arrest…
- Air Force, Fighter Jets, Imagery, Jets, NavyWrong Button
- Fighter jet hits the wrong button.
- Animals, Dogs, Imagery, Werewolves, WolvesAware Wolf
- A werewolf. A wearwolf. A warewolf. Aware wolf.
- Cling-wrap, Imagery, WorkCling-wrap Fun
- Cling-wrap fun.
- Advertising, ImageryColgate Dental Floss Advertising Campaign
- Colgate have created an ingenious campaign to promote their dental floss.
- Drugs, Imagery, Meth, R2-d2, Robots, Star WarsMeth: Before & After
- Meth: Before & After (or R2-D2 versus R2-FU).
- Fans, Metal, MusicMetal Fan
- What kind of music do you like? I am a huge metal fan. Me too!
- Animals, Cats, Imagery, SignsHelp Cat Neds Air
- Please don’t let the cat out. No matter what it tells you!
- Animals, Gorillas, Imagery, King Kong, Mobiles, Phones, VodafoneNo Signal
- The “Vodafone Effect”.
- Chinese, Imagery, Newspapers, SubmarinesHiding Submarines
- China may be using sea to hide its submarines
- Imagery, Movies, RomanceGirlfriends: Harry Potter Versus Twilight
- Ginny: When Harry broke up with me for my safety…
- Animals, Australia, Emus, WarEmu War
- Result: Emu Victory.
- Computers, GeekyOperating System Airlines
- Operating System Airlines.
- Cars, ImageryGarage Door Covers
- Amusing garage door covers
- Animals, Imagery, WhalesPaper, Scissors, Whale!
- Scissors cut paper again! I hate this game…
- Africa, Animals, Bikes, ImageryUpsetting The Food Chain
- A zebra on a motorbike…
- JokesToday Is Sunday
- Attention! Today is Sunday. Share this on your Facebook wall. Within seven days you’ll get another Sunday…
- Animals, Cars, Donkeys, ImageryA BMW Donkey
- A BMW donkey. Not much more to be said really.
- Animals, Imagery, RacoonsOh… Hi… Umm… Meow?
- Oh… hi… Umm… meow?
- Buses, ImageryGo Home Bus, You’re Drunk!
- Go home bus, you’re drunk!
- Imagery, Seniors, WarDrafting Guys Over 60
- New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!
- Animals, Elephants, Imagery, RisquéElephant Upskirt
- Elephant Upskirt.
- ShoppingGrocery Shopping On An Empty Stomach
- Accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I’m the proud owner of aisle 4.
- Jokes, MathMath Joke
- Math joke.
- WorkRejection Response
- The next time you get a rejection letter from a hoped-for employer or publisher, just send them the following…
- Imagery, Ipad, IphoneFree IPhone To IPad Upgrade
- Free iPhone to iPad Upgrade
- Acrobats, Books, ImageryAcrobat Reader
- An acrobat reader…
- Computer Games, Imagery, SexistThe Way Girls Play Computer Games
- The way girls play computer games.
- Food, ImageryThrowing People
- A tomato’s fear.
- Imagery, PhonesJester App
- Sorry–you've been replaced by an app…
- RacistAmerican History 101
- American History 101
- Bikes, Geeky, It, SexistAn IT Student Is Walking Along With His Bike…
- An IT student is walking along with his bike…
- Cars, ImagerySomething Wrong Officer?
- Something wrong officer?
- Imagery, SignsDon’t Grow Up
- Don’t grow up. It’s a trap.
- ☺Helpful Hints
- Helpful Hints
- English, Grammar, QuotationsAmusing Quotes & One-Liners
- Amusing Quotes & One-Liners.
- Animals, Business, Dogs, ImageryAssistant Branch Manager
- The Branch Manager and the Assistant Branch Manager.
- Aerodynamics, Aeroplanes, ImageryAerodynamics Simplified
- How planes fly.
- Animals, Broomsticks, Cars, Frogs, Imagery, Parking, Princesses, WitchesAll Others Will Be Toad
- Private customer parking only. All others will be toad.
- Animals, Cats, Glasses, ImageryBut These Are For Girls
- But these are for girls… Holy Crap! I look fabulous!
- America, Canada, RacistU.S. Ship Versus Canadian
- U.S. Ship versus Canadian.
- Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryCat: The Dog Went Missing
- Cat: The dog went missing? Hahaha! Hahaha! I’m sorry human. Hahaha… no seriously, I’m so sad…
- Geeky, ImageryVoice
- Scrooge and Donald on IRC.
- Animals, Imagery, ZebrasI Love You Zebra
- Bite marks are love notes written in flesh. I love you zebra.
- Bathrooms, Coronavirus, Imagery, Public TransportExperts Recommend Keeping Your Daily Rituals Even While Working From Home
- Experts recommend keeping your daily rituals even while working from home
- ☺Pregnancy & Women: Questions
- Pregnancy & Women: Frequently Asked Questions
- Books, Imagery, Lance Armstrong, LibrariesLance Armstrong Fiction Books
- All non-fiction Lance Armstrong books including “Lance Armstrong: Images of a Champion”, “The Lance Armstrong Peprformance Program” and “Lance Armstrong: World’s Greatest Champion” will soon be moved to the fiction section.
- Advertising, Boats, Imagery, Oceans, Oxi-clean, ShipsThe Power Of Oxi-Clean
- The Power of Oxi-Clean.
- Imagery, Numbers, Star WarsWhy Was Five Afraid Of Seven?
- Why was Five afraid of Seven? Because Six Seven Eight.
- Imagery, RisquéDangers Of Masturbation
- The Dangers of Masturbation.
- Books, ImageryMystery Books
- You have to find them first…
- Australia, Chairs, Disaster, Earthquake, Imagery, MelbourneThe 2012 Melbourne Earthquake
- The 2012 Melbourne Earthquake: We will rebuild.
- Bikes, Brisbane, Citycycle, Imagery, UnicyclesFrom The Minds Who Brought You CityCycle — UniCycle.
- From the minds who brought you CityCycle — UniCycle. Brisbane’s brightest idea yet.
- Boobs, SexistTen Things Men Know About Women
- Ten things men know about women…
- Beer, Calendars, Imagery, Mayans, Predictions2 Mayan Guys
- [2 Mayan Guys] Wanna beer? I’m working on this calendar, but I guess if I don’t finish it won’t be the end of the world.
- Education, Imagery, School, TeachersExplain These Bad Grades
- 1969: A child’s parents blame him for his bad grades. Today: A child’s parents blame his teacher for his bad grades.
- Imagery, Music, Rap, Rock, SignsRap Loses To Rock
- Rap is like scissors, it always loses to rock.
- Geeky, Imagery, MeditationGeek Meditation Session
- In your mind’s browser, clear your cache… now delete your history… now navigate to a blank web page…
- Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Pie ChartsTime Breakdown Of Modern Web Design
- The breakdown of modern web design.
- Animals, ImageryNot Allowed
- When a dog is all out of luck.
- Jokes, RisquéWhere Is Amanda’s Husband?
- Amanda is 21 years older than her son John. In 6 years from now, Amanda will be 5 times as old as John…
- Computers, Geeky, ItComputer Quotes
- Computer quotes.
- Books, ImageryRead Your Book Case
- A bookcase worth reading.
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryDog Poo Bin
- If your dog does a poo please put it in a litter bin.
- Animals, Jokes, Puns, Racing, SnailsI Took The Shell Off My Racing Snail, Thinking It Would Make Him Run Faster.
- I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster.
- Geeky, Imagery, TechnologyBack-Up
- Image of man backing-up with computer.
- Geeky, ImageryIPad Stone
- iPad versus a stone.
- Beaches, Imagery, Irish, SunbathingIrish Girl Sunbathing
- An Irish girl sunbathes…
- Animated, Imagery, MedicalRoot Canal
- Amusing animated image of root canal treatment
- ImageryWhat Is A Sonofabitch?
- What is a sonofab*tch, exactly?
- Comedians, Comedy, Grammar, Hitler, Imagery, JapanOne Thing Led To Another
- I hate when you’re reading something and you come across the phrase “one thing led to another”
- Facebook, ImageryBe The First Of Your Friends To Like This Post.
- A post with a poster on it, “Be the first of your friends to like this post”.
- Dinosaurs, Imagery, MuseumsTrannysaurus
- Trannysaurus: You’re fired.
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryA Dog Named Stay
- I bought a dog once. Named him ‘Stay’…
- Dinosaurs, Imagery, Political, SpyingIf You’re Not Doing Anything Wrong, You Shouldn’t Have Anything To Hide
- The government says “If you’re not doing anything wrong, you shouldn’t have anything to hide.” If that is true, shouldn’t the government declassify everything?
- Beer, Geeky, Imagery, WorkUltimate Camouflage
- An office beer fridge…
- Imagery, Iphone, Phones, Romance, SmsThe Modern Day Romantic
- Goodnight my beautiful girl I’m so lucky to have you in my life. I love you so much <3
- Animals, Animated, Imagery, PenguinsPenguin Falls
- Penguin falling on ice.
- Chinese, Imagery, Racist, Tattoos, WomenIf Chinese People Tattooed Lame English Words On Themselves…
- If Chinese people tattooed lame English words on themselves…
- Animals, Computer Games, Computers, Imagery, SpidersBravery
- …in the face of spiders.
- Advertising, Imagery, Rice, Risqué, Sexist, VintageVa-Rice-Ity: My Man Likes Something Unexpected…
- My man likes something unexpected now and then. That’s why I serve him rice.
- Australia, Imagery, Kevin Rudd, PoliticalThe Many Hands Of Kevin Rudd
- The many hand gestures of Kevin Rudd.
- Imagery, PoliticalThailand Has The Largest Mormon Population
- Did you know Thailand has the largest Mormon population in Africa?
- Earth, ImageryHeld Hands Around The Equator
- If the human population held hands around the equator, a significant portion of them would drown.
- ImageryElephant Bone
- …just to confuse future archaeologists.
- Animals, Australia, Birds, Dingoes, Dolphins, Fish, Galahs, Imagery, Kangaroos, Koalas, Kookaburras, Parrots, Penguins, Snakes, Toads, TurtlesAccurate Animal Names: Australian Edition
- Accurate Animal Names: Australian Edition
- ImageryAlzheimer’s
- “I may have alzheimer’s, but at least I don’t have alzheimer’s”
- ReligiousCommon Belief
- The belief that there was nothing…
- Imagery, SexistCall The Rescue Squad!
- I’m sorry dear. I can’t hear you. I’m in the kitchen, making you a sandwich.
- SexistMen’s Rules
- We always hear the rules from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side…
- Cartoons, Food, ImageryChocolate Pudding
- It’s four o’clock in the morning. Why on earth are you making chocolate pudding?
- Explosions, Guns, ImageryTold Her Not To Brag About Her Barbie Dream House…
- Told her not to brag about her barbie dream house…
- Imagery, Music, Rock, RocksJust Listening To Some Rock
- Just listening to some rock
- CarsMini Cooper
- A guy driving a Mini Cooper pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce…
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryHow The Hell Is The Ball Still In Your Hand?
- How the hell is the ball still in your hand?
- Imagery, KnittingWinter Knitting
- What are you going to knit this winter?
- Computer Games, ImageryVideo Games Don’t Make Us Violent – Lag Does!
- Video games don’t make us violent – lag does!
- Fire, Fire Extinguishers, ImageryFire Extinguisher Fire
- Fire Extinguisher Fire: What do you do now?
- Alligators, America, Animals, Australia, Bears, Birds, Crocodiles, Europe, Imagery, Moose, Puma, Rabbits, Sharks, Snakes, SpidersMost Dangerous Animals
- How people in the colonies are still alive is beyond me…
- English, GrammarParaprosdokians
- Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.
- Imagery, RisquéPremature Ejaculators Anonymous
- Man stating he ‘came too soon’ in front of sign stating ‘premature ejaculators anonymous’.
- Animals, Imagery, SealsSeal This Opening
- I was told to seal this opening, so here I am.
- Boobs, Imagery, Sexist, WomenI Wish These Were Brains
- Sexist, but contains breasts…
- Geeky, ImageryDelete Cookies
- Delete cookies?!
- Cars, Dumbledore, Harry Potter, Imagery, PetrolExpecto Petroleum!
- Expecto Petroleum!
- Apple, Imagery, Ios, PatentsOlden Day Slide To Unlock
- Slide to unlock: Apple patent #1964022.
- April Fools, Imagery, Pizza, Salad, WorkThis Is How Workplace Violence Starts
- This is how workplace violence starts…
- Imagery, Internet, SwordsSwords Of The Centuries
- Swords of the Centuries
- Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, SexistAre Those Yours?
- …they’re turning out so big and cute!
- Babies, ImageryResisting A Rest
- If I refuse to nap… is that resisting a rest?
- Risqué, Sexist, WorkSentence Structure: Why Sentence Structure Is Important
- Sentence Structure: Why sentence structure is important.
- Imagery, RisquéThe Exact Spot My Zipper Broke
- The exact spot my zipper broke.
- Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, VintageDormeyer Crying Wives
- Wives: Look this ad over carefully. Circle the items you want for Christmas. Show it to your husband. If he does not go to the store immediately, cry a little…
- SexistA Woman’s Wish
- A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods…
- Animals, Cats, Imagery, WorkI Used To Smile… Until I Worked Retail.
- I used to smile… until I worked retail.
- Balloons, Cars, ImageryMissile Balloons
- Missile Balloons.
- Bikes, Imagery, PostsHave You Seen This Post?
- Have you seen this post? He didn’t.
- Babies, Drinking, Imagery, Studying, The RockWhat Are Your Plans For The Weekend?
- What are your plans for the weekend? Studying. [shocked look] Drinking! Drinking!
- Imagery, RacistYou Must Be A Racist
- Oh, you were expecting a white guy?
- Cars, Imagery, Italy, Racist, Risqué25 Year Old Escort
- But Mr. Berlusconi, you said, “Send a 25 years old escort to my villa!”
- Imagery, Risqué, Tape Measures, ToolsBreakdown Of A Man’s Tape Measure Usage
- Breakdown of a man’s tape measure usage
- Advertising, Gay, Imagery, Showers, VintageBradley Group Showers
- Bradley Group Showers.
- Animals, Imagery, SharksFlying Sharks
- Flying sharks… we’re screwed.
- Australia, Imagery, Logan, RacistAll Trades Logan
- All Trades Logan.
- Facebook, Imagery, NewspapersReal Life Facebook
- I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles…
- Australia, Brisbane, Computer Games, Explosions, Guns, Imagery, PoliceBrisbane, GTA Style
- Queen Street Mall, Brisbane, GTA Style.
- Animals, Computer Games, Games, Imagery, PhonesAngry Birds
- Angry Birds attend Anger Management.
- Accidents, Buses, Cars, Imagery, InsuranceDon’t You Suggest To Me What To Do
- If you don’t have GIO Third Party Property Insurance, we suggest you don’t hit this bus.
- Cars, Imagery, Roads, SignsTired? Powernap Now.
- Tired? Powernap now.
- Coolers, Imagery, SexistIf A Man Says He Will Fix It, He Will
- If a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months.
- Imagery, Risqué, SignsPlease Use Finger
- Pen is broken - please use finger.
- Imagery, TeaMr. Tea
- Mr. Tea the teapot.
- Grammar, Imagery, TomorrowTomorrow (noun)
- Tomorrow (noun): a mystical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation and achievement is stored.
- Animals, Imagery, RisquéHow To Eat Pussy…
- How to eat pussy…
- Food, Imagery, Pasta, TrucksPasta Truck
- A pasta truck, or a very large pasta.
- PoliticalPolitically Correct Primer
- A politically correct primer.
- Animals, Imagery, OttersOtter Nonsense
- I’ve had it up to here with your otter nonsense…
- ☺Out Of Breath
- Dispatcher: Emergency Services, how may I help you?
- Cooking, Frypans, ImageryNon-stick Frypan
- A stuck non-stick frypan…
- Imagery, Metaphors, Star WarsMetaphors Be With You
- Metaphors be with you
- Cars, Drugs, Imagery, PoliceHow High Are You?
- How High Are You? No Officer, it’s “Hi, how are you”.
- Birds, Imagery, WifiHe’s Got Wifi
- Three birds sitting on a wire, a fourth sitting in mid air. He's got wifi.
- Africa, Imagery, RacistEvery 60 Seconds In Africa
- Every 60 seconds in Africa… a minute passes.
- George Bush, Imagery, Iran, Political, Weapons Of Mass Destruction, WmdI Can’t Believe The “WMD” Trick Is Working Again With Iran
- I can’t believe the “WMD” trick is working again with Iran. Suckers…
- Cars, Computer Games, ImageryLegend Of Zelda
- A legend… of Zelda.
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryDog Queue
- Sometimes, even dogs have to queue…
- Imagery, MoviesThere Are Three Kinds Of People: Impatient, Patient, And Rich.
- There are three kinds of people: Impatient, patient, and rich.
- Australia, Bank Notes, Banks, Imagery, Money, PoliticalAustralian Bank Notes
- Australian Bank Notes.
- Australia, Games, Imagery, Logan, Monopoly, RacistLogan Monopoly
- Logan Monopoly…
- Risqué, SexistThe Perfect Password
- A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, the computer advised him that he would now need to enter a password…
- SexistAustralia And Mateship
- Mateship amongst Men & Women: The differences…
- Guns, Imagery, Mp3, Mp4, Mp5Well, That Escalated Quickly
- Well, that escalated quickly.
- Food, ImageryPeanut Delivery
- Peanut Delivery…
- America, English, Imagery, RacistEnglish (Traditional) And English (Simplified)
- English (Traditional) and English (Simplified).
- ☺How To Make Sure You’re A Normal Person
- A quick and easy test to determine if you are a normal person…
- Cars, Geeky, Imagery, SqlSpeed Camera Hack
- Car with SQL injection taped to the front.
- Coffee, Religious, SexistMorning Coffee
- A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning…
- Children, Imagery, PaintChildren Painting
- Two children, half a room and a TV covered in white paint.
- Computers, ImageryInsert Disk Two
- Please insert disk two.
- Buses, Bus Stops, Harry Potter, Hogwarts, ImageryBus To Hogwarts
- To get the bus to Hogwarts, please run directly at this sign.
- Babies, Imagery, InstructionsBaby Instructions
- Some useful instructions to keep baby alive and well…
- Animals, ImageryHow Dishwashers Really Work
- How dishwashers really work…
- English, ImageryMissing The Point
- Missing the point
- ☺Got To Love Drunk People
- >A man, and his wife are awakened at 3 o’clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door…
- Australia, Bbq, Cooking, Food, SexistBarbecue Etiquette
- Aussie Barbecue Season.
- Imagery, Queensland, WinterI Absolutely Love Winter In Queensland.
- I absolutely love winter in queensland. Last year it was a Wednesday.
- America, Animals, Australia, Britain, Cows, India, Irish, PoliticalYou Have Two Cows
- The eponymous cows is used to demonstrate the advantages and flaws of certain economic systems.
- Animals, Cats, Imagery, RacoonsCat Found
- Cat Found. Very aggressive.
- SexistEvening Classes For Men
- Instructive evening classes for men…
- Bananas, Chris Brown, Food, Imagery, RihannaChris Brown & Rihanna Bananas
- I can’t believe she didn’t press charges. It got worse when he posted the unpeeled photos of her.
- Animals, Dogs, Drugs, High, ImageryDog, How High Are You?
- Dog, how high are you? Yes.
- Guns, ImageryCrayon Gun
- A fantastic gun made from many every-day items.
- SchoolThe History Of The World
- The History of the World, as written by the next generation…
- Animals, Chocolate, Dogs, Heaven, ImageryA Dog Dies: Can I Have Chocolate?
- A dog dies and finds out chocolate killed him.
- Imagery, Risqué, SexistInteresting ATM
- Man using a sexually provocative ATM.
- Imagery, RocksOrders From A Rock
- [On a rock] Turn me over. You just took orders from a rock.
- Beer, ChartsBeer Troubleshooting Chart
- Beer Troubleshooting Chart.
- ImageryThe Ego Boost Urinal
- The Ego Boost Urinal.
- Boobs, Cars, Imagery, Risqué, SexistShe Might Scratch The Paint
- I know what you’re thinking… she might scratch the paint.
- America, Guns, RacistWhat Do You Call A Gun Enthusiast?
- You may have heard on the news about a Southern California man who was put under 72-hour psychiatric observation when it was found he owned 100 guns and allegedly had 100,000 rounds of ammunition stored in his home…
- Computers, GeekyMessage From Your IT Deptartment
- Message from your IT Deptartment…
- Cars, Computers, GeekyMicrosoft Car
- Microsoft and General Motors on the Automobile.
- Animals, Beds, Dinosaurs, ImageryT-Rex Making A Bed
- When you’re upset just imagine a T-Rex making a bed.
- Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, Sweaters, VintageMen Are Better Than Women!
- Indoors, women are useful — even pleasant. On a mountain they are something of a drag. So don’t go hauling them up a cliff…
- ImagerySmile
- Smile…
- Bones, Imagery, SkeletonsThe Average Human Body Contains Enough Bones
- The average human body contains enough bones to make an entire human skeleton.
- America, Imagery, Political, SpyingMy Computer Hard Drive Crashed. NSA Won’t Send Me Their Backup Copy.
- My computer hard drive crashed. NSA won’t send me their backup copy.
- Corporate, Geeky, ImageryPatent Infringement
- Eating Fruit…
- Children, Parenting, SportChild Beating
- A seven year old boy was at the centre of a courtroom drama…
- Cpr, First Aid, Imagery, SchoolCPR Diagram
- You’re next!
- Food, Imagery, SexistBut God, She Won’t Even Make Me A Sandwich…
- But God, She Won’t Even Make Me a Sandwich…
- Emergency, Imagery, Out Of OrderEmergency: Out Of Order
- Please do not have an emergency!
- Accidents, Animals, Cats, Imagery, LaddersHumans Don’t Land On Their Feet
- Gee you’re right, humans don’t land on their feet.
- Animals, Conspiracies, Dogs, Imagery, SheepThat Conspiracy Stuff
- I’m telling you – the man and the dog are definitely working together…
- Animated, Flash, Geeky, ImageryL33t H4x0r R0m30 4nd Jul13t
- Tales for the L33T - ROMEO+JULIET
- Alcohol, Food, Imagery, VodkaVodka Diet: Lose 3 Days In 1 Week
- Vodka Diet: Lose 3 Days in 1 Week.
- SexistGirl’s And Boy’s Diaries
- A girl and a boy and their diaries…
- Animals, Bananas, Dogs, Food, ImageryBanana Dogs
- Banana Dogs.
- Babies, ImageryDraw Fake Eyebrows On Your Baby
- Draw fake eyebrows on your baby. Then sit back and enjoy the humour.
- Alcohol, Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, WindowsWindows: File Missing
- Windows cannot find the file. Would you like some wine instead?
- Apple, Computers, Flash, Geeky, Imagery, MacMacintosh
- Mac Hater…
- Imagery, Kim Jong-un, North Korea, SnickersKim, Eat A Snickers
- Kim Jong-un: I’m going to nuke everyone. Kim, eat a Snickers. Kim: Why? Because you turn into a war mongler when you’re hungry. Better? Kim: Better.
- Imagery, RocksMy Pet Rock Ran Away
- My Pet Rock Ran Away…
- Apple, Computers, Geeky, Linux, Mac, WindowsHow To Fix Any Computer
- A comprehensive guide to fixing any computer.
- Acronyms, Imagery, Iphone, PhonesIDK LY TTYL
- IDK LY TTYL: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later.
- SexistA Love Story With A Happy Ending
- Once upon a time, a bloke asked a girl “Will you marry me?”
- AudioTelstra Customer Service
- An insight into the Telstra Customer Service Experience.
- Advertising, Babies, Beer, Imagery, Mothers, VintageHow Mother And Baby “Picked Up”
- Blatz Beer: How Mother and Baby “Picked Up”.
- Game Shows, TvAmusing Hollywood Squares Answers
- Amusing Hollywood Squares Answers.
- Fire, ImageryFire Distinguisher
- Fire Distinguisher: Yep, that’s fire…
- Imagery, Political, Politicians, Prostitutes, RisquéHonest Politician
- Hi! I’m 32. I’m a politician and I’m honest. Hi. I’m 29, I’m a prostitute and I’m a virgin.
- Drugs, Food, ImageryEminem Drug Bust
- Eminem Drug Bust.
- ImageryButtons
- Lots of buttons…
- Homeless, SexistSledgehammer Psychology
- A business man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner…
- America, Guns, Imagery, Police, RacistAnd I Was All Like, Pew Pew Pew!
- And I was all like, pew pew pew! Pew pew pew! ‘Merica!
- Crocs, Imagery, Shoes, WeddingsWedding Crocs
- Wedding Crocs.
- Angels, Imagery, Red Bull, SculpturesRed Bull Gives You Wings
- Red Bull Gives You Wings.
- Homework, Imagery, SchoolSelf Referencing Homework
- What has been your greatest accomplishment so far?
- Illusion, ImageryFour Perfectly Round Circles
- Four Perfectly Round Circles.
- Bipolar, Graffiti, Imagery, SignsBipolar Awesome
- I hate being bi-polar. It’s awesome.
- Art, Geeky, ImageryNational Portrait Gallery
- National Portrait Gallery. National Landscape Gallery…
- Animated, Chris Coutts, Flash, Imagery, No Effort OnlineChris Coutts: No Effort Online: Tales For The L33T: PATR TOO: HAMLET
- Chris Coutts: No Effort Online flash animations
- English, GrammarBipolar Awesome
- English can be weird. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
- Animals, Cupcakes, Food, Imagery, LemursA Lemur Who Has Discovered The Wondrousness Of Cupcakes For The Fist Time.
- A lemur who has discovered the wondrousness of cupcakes for the fist time.
- Bankruptcy, Divorce, Imagery, LiquorBankruptcy, Divorce, Liquor
- Bankruptcy, Divorce, Liquor.
- America, France, Ireland, Irish, Racist, RisquéThe Penis Study
- The American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man’s penis was larger than the shaft…
- Daleks, Doctor Who, Geeky, RobotsWhat Would Robots From The 1960's…
- What would robots from 1960’s and 1970’s TV say today with current software installed?
- ImageryHard To Pay Fine
- Touching wires causes instant death…
- Forecasting, ImageryJohn’s Weather Forecasting Stone
- One of the most reliable ways of forecasting…
- Imagery, SpicesSeasons Greetings
- Seasons Greetings
- English, WordsWhat Is A Word Made Up Of 4 Letters Yet Is Also Made Up Of 3
- What is a word made up of 4 letters yet is also made up of 3. Although is written with 8 letters, and then with 4. Rarely consists of 6, and never is written with 5.
- Geeky, ImageryBlackboard
- School kid writing Code on blackboard as punishment.
- Communist, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, SoftwareCommunist Traitor
- It looks like you’re a Communist traitor…
- Australia, Games, Imagery, MonopolyAustralian Monopoly
- Australian Monopoly: St Marys to Penrith Special Edition.
- Imagery, Osama Bin Laden, Sport, Terrorists, Weight LiftingOsama Bin Liftin’
- Osama Bin Liftin’
- Animals, Harry Potter, Horses, ImageryWingardium Levi-horse-a
- Wingardium levi-horse-a!
- Animals, Fish, ImageryCan February March? No, But April May.
- Can February March? No, but April May.
- Comics, ImageryHorton Hears The Who
- Horton Hears the Who
- GeekyIf Dr Seuss Was A Technical Writer
- If Dr Seuss Was A Technical Writer.
- ImageryKermit Sees The Doctor
- Have a seat Kermit. What I’m about to tell you might come as a big shock…
- Animals, Cats, ImageryI’m Glad You’re Up
- I’ve put all of your folded shirts on the floor for you.
- Alcohol, Australia, Bob Hawke, Imagery, Oxford, PoliticalBob Hawke’s Yard Of Ale
- While at university at Oxford in 1963, Bob Hawke, former Prime Minister of Australia, entered the Guinness Book of Records here at the Turf Tavern after downing a yard of ale (that’s just over 2½ pints!) in just 11 seconds.
- Geeky, MusicWhat If The Beatles Had Been Computer Freaks?
- What if the Beatles had been computer freaks?
- Animated, ImageryWait!
- Wait…
- Fonts, Imagery, Running, Sport, Usain BoltUsain Bold, Usain Italic
- Usain Bolt: Usain Bold, Usain Italic.
- Imagery, WaterThe Deadly Facts About Water
- The Deadly Facts about Water
- Advertising, Boobs, Imagery, Sexist, VintageSabrina Projects
- Sabrina demonstrates the world’s finest projection equipment…
- Books, Imagery, Racist, ShopsWong Fook Hing Book Store
- If you cannot find the book that you are looking for, then you’re obviously in the… Wong Fook Hing Book Store!
- Advertising, Cooking, Imagery, Sexist, VintageCook – That’s What Wives Are For!
- The Chef does everything but cook – that’s what wives are for!
- Batman, Imagery, Iphone, Phones, SmsI’m Batman
- SMS conversation between Tim and Batman.
- Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery, TechnologyCombo Hit: Streetfighter Style
- Combo Hit: Streetfighter Style
- Board Games, Games, ImageryGroup Therapy
- …is not going to make Q any less of a hated letter.
- Alcohol, Holidays, Imagery, WineHoliday Workout
- Holiday Workout: Three corkscrews.
- Books, Imagery, Sexist“Understanding Women” Now Available In Paperback
- The book “Understanding Women” is now available in paperback!
- Arthur C Clarke, Astrology, QuotationsI Don’t Believe In Astrology
- I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re sceptical.
- Drugs, ImageryToo High
- Quick! Grab my hand! I… I can’t! You’re too high! What?
- Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, PhonesIPhone 6 Comparison
- iPhone 6 Plus Comparison.
- RacistOnly In America...
- Only in America…
- Hats, Imagery, SportYou Can’t Beat Stupid…
- I wish they would invent something to keep the sun out of my eyes…
- Animals, Imagery, Johnny Depp, Movie Stars, SpidersI’m Really Afraid Of Johnny Depp
- Research shows that if you’re afraid of spiders, you’re more likely to find one in your bedroom. I’m really afraid of Johnny Depp.
- Advertising, April Fools, Ikea, Imagery, Product Recalls, ToolsIKEA Product Recall
- IKEA product recall advert on April Fools Day
- Apple, Bill Gates, Computers, Heaven, Imagery, Microsoft, Phones, Religious, Steve Jobs, WindowsSteve Jobs & Bill Gates Discuss Heaven
- Steve Jobs & Bill Gates Discuss Heaven: It doesn’t have any wall or fence…
- Animals, Imagery, Nuclear Power, SpidersSpider Farm
- This seems like a disaster waiting to happen…
- Imagery, Real EstateLaminated Room
- List of reasons why a room would have to contain a bucket and be almost entirely laminated: 1) Bad reasons.
- Dates, ImageryMay The 4th Be With You
- If today is “May the 4th be with you” does that mean tomorrow is “revenge of the 5th?”
- Animals, Animated, ImageryLesson Of The Day
- You should never do anything wrong, it will catch up with you…
- Animals, ImageryUsed Cows
- Used Cows for Sale.
- Imagery, RedneckRedneck Ingenuity
- Redneck Ingenuity: Shoes for tyres.
- Cars, Imagery, MessagesThe 710 Cap
- Hun I have a problem in my car…
- InvisibleYou Can See Me?
- Next time a stranger talks to me when I’m alone I will look at them shocked and just whisper quietly, “you can see me?”
- Animals, Halloween, Imagery, SquirrelsHalloween Squirrel
- A squirrel got its head stuck in a Halloween decoration and terrified a neighbourhood…
- Campbell Newman, Imagery, Political, QueenslandCampbell Newman: Public Service: You Can Trust Me
- [Campbell Newman laughing] …and then I said to the public service… you can trust me…
- ImagerySteady Hand – The Results
- Steady Hand – The Results (or what happens when you play Steady Hand)
- Beer, Imagery, SexistYou Never Listen To Me…
- You never listen to me! You only hear what you want to hear!
- ☺Comments & Other Similar Social Data
- Comments, Facebook Open Graph, & Other Similar Social Data.
- JokesComplimentary Pretzels
- A guy walks into a bar and takes a seat. Before he can order a beer, the bowl of pretzels in front of him says “Hey, you’re a handsome fellow.”
- Epilepsy, Imagery, PostersSeize The Day
- Seize The Day: Sign up for the Epilepsy Awareness Walk.
- Bananas, Cars, Food, ImageryGet In The Banana
- No time to explain. Get in the banana!
- ImageryCockroach Cancer
- Please, don’t throw your cigarette butts on the floor…
- Imagery, Movies, Obi-wan Kenobi, Star Wars, Terrorism, World Trade CentreThese Blast Points… Too Accurate For Sand People
- Obi-Wan Kenobi in front of burning World Trade Centre towers: “These blast points… too accurate for sand people”.
- ☺Disclaimer, Copyright & Contact Information
- Feel free to send me anything you think might amuse me.
- ImageryBird Flu
- I’m not worried about this bird flu…
- Medical, RisquéKeep Off The Grass
- A Nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothes, entered…
- Cars, Gardens, ImageryMajor Tom’s Ground Control
- Major Tom’s Ground Control Lawn and Garden Management.
- Boats, Fishing, Imagery, Logan, RacistFishing, Logan Style
- Fishing, Logan Style.
- Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, PhonesIPhone 6 Repair Kit
- iPhone 6 repair kit.
- Imagery, RisquéAdult Dog Store
- A dog carries an inflatable leg from an Adult Dog Store.
- Imagery, Toilets, VandalismToilet Vandalism
- We buy things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like…
- Animals, Birds, Imagery, Mirrors, ParrotsTap That
- I’d tap that!
- Animals, Dogs, Driving, Imagery, SexistDog Decides Better Driver
- My wife believes she is a better driver. I let our dog decide.
- Cars, Imagery, TrucksDriver Is Fully Naked
- Driver carries less than $50 cash and is fully naked.
- Australia, Condoms, New Zealand, Racist, RisquéAustralian Condoms
- New Zealand runs out of condoms…
- Evolution, Imagery, ZombiesZombie Evolution
- The evolution of Zombies
- Cars, Imagery, Time TravelAnnual Meeting Of Time Travellers
- Annual Meeting of Time Travellers.
- America, RacistAmerican State Mottos
- American State Mottos…
- Illusion, ImageryIllogical Lego
- Illogical Lego.
- Imagery, MenI'd Rather Break My Arms Than Take Two Trips
- I'd rather break my arms than take two trips.
- Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryDear Dog
- Dear Dog… a letter from the cat.
- ImageryTimes Have Changed
- An image from an operating manual for the SAGE air defense system
- ImagerySuper Batman
- The Super Batman back pack, exclusive from China!
- Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Internet Explorer, Opera, SafariIE Retarded
- I hope he doesn’t say something retarded…
- Blonde, Imagery, SexistBlonde Geometry
- Attached is problem 3 on a geometry examination…
- Accidents, Cars, ImagerySorry: A Bus Accident
- Sorry: A Bus Accident
- Agony Aunt, Cheating, Dear Abby, Imagery, Motorbikes, Relationships, SexistDear Abby, I’ve Never Written To You Before…
- Dear Abby, I’ve never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision…
- Comics, English, ImageryThe Accidental Conversation Loop
- My greatest social fear: The Accidental Conversation Loop.
- ImageryEmoticons
- Lots of emoticons…
- ☺Foot Smart
- See if you can outsmart your foot…
- Imagery, Math, SchoolI’ll Just Be A Stripper.
- Screw this: I’ll just be a stripper.
- Computers, Imagery, InternetNew Mail
- 10 years ago…
- Android, Galaxy Note, Imagery, Phones, Samsung, TechnologyBattery Fully Charged. Unplug Charger.
- In what is perhaps one of the more stupid “features” on my Samsung Galaxy Note, when it reaches full charge, it lights up its screen and pops up and audible alert saying “Battery fully charged. Unplug charger.” As I charge my phone at night, it is effectively an extremely annoying unwanted wake-up call.
- Animals, Cars, Cows, Drunk, ImageryDrunk Cows
- Drunk Cows: Bruce you are drunk.
- Darth Vader, Imagery, Kristen StewartMore Expressions Than Kristen Stewart
- Still more expressions than Kristen Stewart.
- Imagery, RisquéPull Out & Save
- Save up to $600!
- Bugs Bunny, Cartoons, Daffy Duck, Donald Duck, Goofy, Imagery, Looney Tunes, Mickey Mouse, Porky Pig, Road Runner, Tom And Jerry, Wile E CoyoteJust To Make You Feel Really Old
- Just to make you feel really old…
- Animals, Cats, Cockroaches, Dogs, Imagery, Men, WomenThe Circle Of Life
- The Circle of Life: Who is afraid of who?
- BabiesA Baby’s Laughter Is One Of The Most Beautiful Sounds You’ll Ever Hear
- A baby’s laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you’ll ever hear. Unless it’s 3 AM, you’re home alone, and you don’t have a baby.
- America, Capitalist, ImageryIn Capitalist America…
- Bank robs you!
- Australia, SexistAussie Men
- Aussie men… struggling with the booze…
- Animated, Babies, Fireworks, ImageryFirst Time Seeing Fireworks
- A baby sees fireworks for the first time.
- Grammar, SpellingYou Read That Wrong
- That awkward moment when you read that wrong…
- Food, ImageryBreakfast Alive
- What happens if you wait too long before eating your breakfast?
- Energy Drinks, Geeky, Imagery, Rubiks CubesMonster Energy Drinks & Rubiks Cubes
- Monster energy drinks & Rubiks Cubes: Dude. You have a problem. Problem solved!
- Animals, Cows, ImageryA Cow Getting A Back Scratch
- A cow getting a back scratch.
- Balloons, Birthdays, ImageryBalloons Are So Weird…
- Balloons are so weird… “Happy Birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath”
- Imagery, WorkMeetings
- The practical alternative to work.
- Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, MsnMSN Shuts Down
- We reminisce about “the good old days” of MSN…
- Australia, Buses, Explosions, Imagery, InalaSorry For Party Rocking
- Sorry for Party Rocking: Driver jumps from burning bus, party bus explodes in Inala.
- Cables, Cables, Geeky, Imagery, UsbCables Exist In 4-dimensional Space
- Proof USB cables exist in 4-dimensional space.
- Computers, ImageryChecking On A Slow Progress Bar
- Checking on a slow progress bar.
- Animals, Birds, Imagery, SeagullsSomebody Come Look At This
- Somebody Come Look at This
- America, Animated, Imagery, Obama, PoliticalThanks, Obama
- Thanks, Obama.
- Acid, Animals, Cats, Cocaine, Coffee, Drugs, Heroin, Imagery, Marijuana, Mushrooms, Shrooms, WeedDrug Cats
- An illustrated cat-guide to drugs…
- Imagery, ToiletsPeeing: Expert Mode
- Peeing: Expert Mode
- Adelaide, Australia, Chairs, Disaster, Earthquake, ImageryThe 2011 Adelaide Earthquake
- The 2011 Adelaide Earthquake: We will rebuild.
- Imagery, Sexist, Tv, WomenCooking Shows
- If we watched cooking shows the way guys watch sports.
- Coronavirus, Imagery, Video Conferencing, Work, ZoomCoronavirus Zoom Conference
- Zoom Conference: Can everyone hear me?
- America, Australia, Birds, Horror Movies, Imagery, MagpiesAustralian Horror Story
- American Horror Story versus Australian Horror Story
- Advertising, Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Phones, TechnologyIPhone 10 – The Tallest IPhone Yet
- A mock-up of the iPhone 10, after the launch of the “taller” iPhone5.
- Africa, Animals, Cats, Imagery, Lions, TouristsThe Best Photo Caption
- A western woman in Africa—presumably a tourist—squats to go to the toilet in the bush, pants down, toilet paper in hand, her backpack in the grass nearby; unaware a lion is sneaking up behind her. Captioned “if she hasn’t… she will soon”.
- RisquéThe Hypnotist
- It was entertainment night at the senior centre and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill…
- Australia, Games, Imagery, ReligiousThanks God
- God and the Rubiks Cube…
- Coffee, Hipsters, Imagery, SignsHow Did The Hipster Burn His Tongue?
- How did the hipster burn his tongue? He sipped on his coffee before it was cool.
- Computers, GeekyUnix Commands
- Amusing UNIX commands.
- Imagery, Rallies, Sexist, WomenWhat Women Want
- Who are we? Women! What do we want? We don’t know! When do we want it? NOW!
- Babies, ImageryWomb Service
- Hello, Womb Service? I’d like a double order of hot wings…
- Imagery, InternetProcrastination
- Have a little look at the Internet…
- History, ImageryThe Most Difficult Thing To Explain To Someone From The 1950s
- If someone from the 1950s suddenly appeared today, what would be the most difficult thing to explain to them about life today?
- Chewing Gum, Imagery, WarningsDo Not Swallow Chewing Gum
- Warning: Do not swallow chewing gum!
- GeekySpellcheck Not Needed
- Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy…
- Imagery, MondaysShortest Horror Story: Monday
- Shortest horror story: Monday.
- Cars, SexistHow To Change Your Oil
- How to Change your Oil: A guide for men & women…
- Imagery, SexistBefore And After...
- Before and after marriage…
- Imagery, StoneNothing Is Written In Stone
- Nothing is Written in Stone…
- Animals, Cats, Imagery, SmsCat Facts
- Thanks for signing up for Cat Facts!
- Bikes, Imagery, NoticesBicycles Chained To These Railings Will Be Removed Without Notice.
- Bicycles chained to these railings will be removed without notice. This is a notice, you idiot!
- Diving, Imagery, Sharks, Sign LanguageA Signal They Forgot To Teach You In Your Open Water Class.
- Big shark behind you: A signal they forgot to teach you in your open water class.
- Imagery, WorkHorse Whisperer
- A very amusing workplace complaint.
- Geeky, JokesIP Jokes
- I’d tell you a UDP joke, but you may not get it.
- ☺Dear Thigh Fat
- Help the needy?
- Hippies, Imagery, ShirtsPassive Agressive Hippie
- Passive Agressive Hippie: You want a [peace sign] of me?
- Geeky, ItDeclaration Of A Software Professional
- Declaration of a Software Professional.
- Alligators, Animals, Crocodiles, ImageryHow To Tell Alligators And Crocodiles Apart
- It’s not that difficult to tell alligators and crocodiles apart…
- Animals, JokePygmy Dinosaur Hunter
- The Pygmy Dinosaur Hunter…
- Computer Games, Geeky, ImageryReality
- Worst game ever.
- Animals, Imagery, ZebrasZebra Crossing
- Zebra Crossing…
- Animals, ImageryWhat Animals Dream...
- What animals dream.
- SexistWinter Classes For Men
- Winter Classes for Men at the Learning Centre for Adults
- Cars, Geeky, TechnologyCars And Computers
- General Motors doesn’t have a help line for people who don’t know how to drive because people don’t buy cars like they buy computers, but imagine if they did…
- Africa, Bus, ImageryDo You Ever Get So Angry…
- Do you ever get so angry… you throw a VCR at a burning bus?
- Animals, Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, OttersFilthy Hobitses
- Filthy Hobitses
- Animals, Crocodiles, Crocs, ImageryMother Croc
- Look how instinctively the mother croc carries the baby in its mouth.
- Hunger Games, Imagery, Katniss Everdeen, Kristen Stewart, Movies, Movie Stars, Smiling, TwilightKristen Stewart Smiles
- I don’t always smile, but when I do, I don’t.
- Fish, ImageryThe Swordfish
- The swordfish has few predators to worry about in the wild, except for the seldom seen penfish which is said to be even mightier.
- Australia, Imagery, Racist, Tintin, WynnumThe Adventures Of TinTin: TinTin In Wynnum
- The Adventures of TinTin: TinTin in Wynnum.
- Animals, Animated, Bananas, Cats, ImageryCat & Banana
- The cat and the banana.
- Aboriginal, Australia, RacistAboriginal Eggs
- Two Aboriginal lads are riding along the Hume Highway on a motorbike…
- Guns, Imagery, ToastToast Toasts Toast?
- If guns don’t kill people, people kill people, does that mean…
- ImageryWill Not Load Fully
- This picture will not load fully!
- Imagery, Tools, Work, ZombiesIn Case Of Zombies
- In case of zombies… or yard work…
- Animals, Birds, Imagery, Owls, RegretsRegrets
- I stay up late every night, and realise it’s a bad idea every morning.
- Animals, Cats, Ducks, Imagery, Robots, Sharks, VacuumsRobot Vacuum Cat Shark Duck Chase
- Robot Vacuum Cat Shark Duck Chase.
- Australia, PoliticalPsalm 2009 – 2012
- The First Book of Government.
- DrugsGranny LSD
- Boy asks his Granny, “Have you seen my pills labelled ‘LSD’?”
- Animals, Animated, Hamsters, ImageryHamster Flying
- How to make your hamster fly…
- Geology, Imagery, SchoolGeology
- Name the three types of rock.
- Girls, Imagery, WorkForgot I Was Sharing My Screen With Her
- I was on an online conference call with a cute sounding girl, and googled her name out of curiosity. Forgot I was sharing my screen with her.
- Communist, Computer Games, Geeky, ImageryA Case In Communism: The Super Mario Story
- A Case in Communism: The Super Mario Story.
- Cycling, Drugs, SportI Think It Is Just Terrible And Disgusting How Everyone Has Treated Lance Armstrong
- I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he achieved, winning seven Tour de France races while on drugs. When I was on drugs, I couldn’t even find my bike.
- Animals, Chickens, Chicks, ImageryHow To Pick Up Chicks
- Instructional guide on how to pick up chicks.
- Comics, Imagery, VeganI Am Going Vegan
- I am going vegan
- Imagery, PoliceA Cop Just Pulled Me Over And Said “Papers”
- A cop just pulled me over and said “Papers”… so I said “Scissors, I win” and drove off…
- ImageryPolice Station Toilet Stolen
- Police Station Toilet Stolen… Cops have nothing to go on.
- Australia, Banks, ImageryAustralian Banks
- Australian Bank Logos.
- Army, WarAmerican Nun
- A deserter GI was running down a road escaping from two MPs…
- Books, ImageryScary Campfire Stories: Book Style
- And then… after they had ripped out half of her pages… they turned her… into a movie!
- Joke, RisquéJam And Butter The Muddy Plasters, The Dirty Bucket Of Pitch!
- Jam and butter the muddy plasters, the dirty bucket of pitch!
- Cars, Imagery, RacingTimes Were Tough Before The GoPro
- Times were tough before the GoPro…
- Dyslexia, Imagery, Sex, Shirts, TshirtsI Have Sex Daily
- I have sex daily! I mean dyslexia! Fcuk.
- Elderly, MemoryElderly Memories
- An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen…
- Banks, ImageryI Was Going To Make A Joke About A Bank, But Then I Lost Interest…
- I was going to make a joke about a bank, but then I lost interest…
- Alcohol, Books, Imagery, WineBook Club
- My book club only reads wine labels.
- Cars, Imagery, MosquitosA Mosquito With A Helmet
- Mosquitos flying towards a car.
- ☺Fifteen Things To Do At The Supermarket…
- Fifteen things to do at the supermarket while your spouse is taking their sweet time…
- Animals, Imagery, SharksShark! What?
- Shark! What?
- Art, Imagery, RenaissanceYou Weren’t Even Listening Just Now, Were You?
- You weren’t even listening just now, were you? What a weird way to start a conversation.
- Africa, Animals, ImageryRhino Painting
- A rhinoceros painting…
- Imagery, SexistHair Dryer
- Darling, please give me the hair dryer…
- Children, Parenting, SchoolLetter To A Mother / School Report
- It is with great happiness that I’m telling you that I eloped with my new boyfriend…
- Imagery, Mobiles, Mouse Traps, Phones, TelstraCustomer Retention
- Free Phone Telstra Style.
- America, Imagery, RacistAmerican Measures
- American Measures: An Arbitrary Retarded Rollercoaster
- Imagery, Posters, ScienceLost Wormhole
- Do not attempt capture because you’ll totally screw with the space/time continuum bro.