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Search Ned Martin’s Amused
Ned Martin’s Amused Pages
- PoliticalScientific Breakthrough – Governmentium
- A major research institution recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named Governmentium.
- Australia, Imagery, Logan, RacistAll Trades Logan
- All Trades Logan.
- Advertising, Babies, Beer, Imagery, Mothers, VintageHow Mother And Baby “Picked Up”
- Blatz Beer: How Mother and Baby “Picked Up”.
- April Fools, Imagery, Pizza, Salad, WorkThis Is How Workplace Violence Starts
- This is how workplace violence starts…
- Comics, ImageryThe Street Is Closed
- Oh no—we’re trapped in here. The street is closed.
- Emergency, Imagery, Out Of OrderEmergency: Out Of Order
- Please do not have an emergency!
- Cars, PoliceSpeed Camera
- Speed camera revenge…
- Animals, Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, OttersFilthy Hobitses
- Filthy Hobitses
- Imagery, SignsDon’t Grow Up
- Don’t grow up. It’s a trap.
- America, Australia, Birds, Horror Movies, Imagery, MagpiesAustralian Horror Story
- American Horror Story versus Australian Horror Story
- Imagery, Step Ladders, ToolsStep Ladder
- The Troubles of Being a Step Ladder…
- Imagery, RisquéPull Out & Save
- Save up to $600!
- Arguments, English, Grammar, ImageryArgument Typo
- Heh I was almost forced to face the fact that my argument was bad but I see here that you made a typo hahaha tough luck pal.
- Australia, Banks, ImageryAustralian Banks
- Australian Bank Logos.
- PoliticalLabel Instructions
- French Label Instructions
- Archaeology, Canada, Cars, Imagery, SnowCanadian Archaeology
- Canadian Archaeology: Digging a car out from under the snow
- Imagery, WifiWireless Networks
- Wireless networks could save your life!
- Imagery, RacistHow To Be Black
- How to be Black: An Instructional Book.
- RisquéTest Your Subconscious
- This revolutionary test will expose the secret desires from your subconscious…
- Imagery, PoliceA Cop Just Pulled Me Over And Said “Papers”
- A cop just pulled me over and said “Papers”… so I said “Scissors, I win” and drove off…
- ImageryWhen You Thought You Ran Over An Animal
- When you thought you ran over an animal but it was just a person
- Geeky, InternetAmusing Chat
- Humour from the world of Internet Chat
- Alcohol, Beer, Imagery, WineIn Wine There Is Truth
- In Wine there is Truth. In Beer there is Strength. In Water there is Bacteria.
- Forecasting, ImageryJohn’s Weather Forecasting Stone
- One of the most reliable ways of forecasting…
- Animals, Cats, ImageryHello Kitty
- It’s sickeningly cute. Perhaps literally if its expression is anything to go by…
- Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery90’s Gamer
- Everytime I hear people complain about online gaming, I wish they could experience my pain of online gaming in the 90’s…
- Imagery, RocksMy Pet Rock Ran Away
- My Pet Rock Ran Away…
- Children, Imagery, Sexist, ToysTo Avoid Perpetuating Gender Stereotypes
- To avoid perpetuating gender stereotypes, I gave my daughter a mix of dolls and toy cars to play with. This is what happened…
- Animals, ImagerySeven Sharks
- If you own 7 cats then people will think you’re crazy…
- Imagery, RisquéDangers Of Masturbation
- The Dangers of Masturbation.
- RacistAmerican History 101
- American History 101
- Geeky, Imagery, Scientific, UniversityHow People In Science See Each Other
- How People in Science See Each Other.
- Imagery, Toilets, VandalismToilet Vandalism
- We buy things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like…
- MedicalSeek And Find You…
- I shall seek and find you…
- Animals, Australia, Birds, Dingoes, Dolphins, Fish, Galahs, Imagery, Kangaroos, Koalas, Kookaburras, Parrots, Penguins, Snakes, Toads, TurtlesAccurate Animal Names: Australian Edition
- Accurate Animal Names: Australian Edition
- Aztecs, Imagery, Mayans, OreosMayan, Aztec And Oreos
- Mayan, Aztec and Oreos…
- WorkExecutive Test
- The following short quiz consists of four questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a “professional”…
- Animals, Fish, Imagery, Love, Romance, SmsAnyways, Best Of Luck Finding Your Fish
- Long story short, we’re in love. I know it seems sudden but life is sudden like that, you know? Anyways, best of luck finding your fish.
- Imagery, RisquéThumb War
- One, two three, four. I declare a thumb war…
- Australia, Imagery, Julia Gillard, Kevin Rudd, PoliticalWhere Was I Before I Was So Rudely Interrupted?
- [Kevin Rudd] Where was I before I was so rudely interrupted?
- Harry Potter, Imagery, SmsMaster Has Presented Dobby With Clothes! Dobby Is Free!
- Well I’m grounded. WTF did you do this time? My Mum asked me to do the laundry and threw a sock at me… I ran away screaming “Master has presented Dobby with clothes! Dobby is free!”
- SchoolThe History Of The World
- The History of the World, as written by the next generation…
- ImageryFingers Move
- I think you’re spending too much time on the computer. Your fingers move when you talk…
- Animals, Birds, Imagery, Missing Posters, Paper, Pigeons, PostersHave You Seen This Bird?
- I met this bird by the tree near the library. We chilled for like, 5 minutes, & then without any warning he just flew away. We really hit it off. So if you see him, please let him know I miss him.
- Cars, Imagery, TrucksDriver Is Fully Naked
- Driver carries less than $50 cash and is fully naked.
- Dalai Lama, Daleks, Dr Who, Imagery, Reincarnation, TvDalek Lama
- Reincarnate! Reincarnate!
- InternetMoronic Email Scam
- Nigerian spam…
- Christmas, Christmas Lights, ImageryChristmas Lights: Ditto
- Ditto to that…
- Driving, Sexist, WomenDamn Women Drivers
- This morning on the freeway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Cadillac doing 110…
- ☺News Headlines
- Amusing news headlines
- JokeExercise - Some Facts
- Exercise… some facts.
- Geeky, History, Internet, ItHow The Internet Started: A History Lesson
- How the Internet Started: A History Lesson.
- America, Imagery, Nsa, Obama, Phones, SpyingObama: “Aww No! Both Of You Hang Up!”
- Her: “Ok, you hang up.” Him: “No, you hang up.” Her: “Haha, no you hang up.” Obama: “Aww no! Both of you hang up!”
- Imagery, Paper, Plants, TreesIrony: Drawing Trees On Paper
- Irony: Drawing trees on paper.
- RisquéMonica
- Monica walks into her dry cleaning store…
- ImageryMarketing
- Marketing…
- Animals, Art, Bananas, Carving, Food, Horses, ImageryBanana Carving
- Banana Carving.
- ImagerySmile
- Smile…
- Earth, Imagery, Risqué, Solar SystemDon’t Masturbate
- Don’t Masturbate!
- Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Internet ExplorerWhat Are We? Browsers!
- What are we? Browsers! What do we want? More speed! And when do we want it? Right now!
- Advertising, Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Phones, Samsung, Samsung Galaxy, TechnologyApple IPhone 20 & Samsung Galaxy S23 – Sword & Shield
- A mock-up of the iPhone 20 and Samsung Galaxy S23, after the launch of the “taller” iPhone5 & the larger Galaxy S3.
- Geeky, ImageryReach Out
- Reach Out!
- Geeky, InternetDiary Of An AOL Luser
- Diary of an AOL Luser.
- Imagery, SportHandegg
- Football versus Handegg: It’s not football…
- Drugs, Imagery, Marijuana, SexistI Tried Pot Once. Now I’m Gay!
- I tried pot once. Now I’m gay!
- RacistFerrari Sack Pit Crew
- The Ferrari Formula 1 Team fired their entire pit crew yesterday…
- Apple, Apples, Computers, Food, Imagery, Laptops, TechnologyMake Your Own Apple Laptop
- Make your own Apple laptop the cheap—and healthy—way!
- Imagery, SexistDifference Between Men And Women
- The difference between men and women…
- C Sharp, Developers, Geeky, Imagery, Java, ProgrammersWhy Do Java Developers Wear Glasses?
- Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#!
- Grammar, Imagery, TomorrowTomorrow (noun)
- Tomorrow (noun): a mystical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation and achievement is stored.
- Australia, Brisbane, Computer Games, Explosions, Guns, Imagery, PoliceBrisbane, GTA Style
- Queen Street Mall, Brisbane, GTA Style.
- Imagery, Phones, SmsI Am Hungary
- I am Hungary…
- ImageryCaution: Door May Open
- Caution: Door May Open.
- AudioPsychiatric Answering Machine
- A Psychiatric Office Answering Machine.
- Advertising, Gay, Imagery, Showers, VintageBradley Group Showers
- Bradley Group Showers.
- Army, WarAmerican Nun
- A deserter GI was running down a road escaping from two MPs…
- Imagery, MusicI’m Not Just Another Brick In The Wall
- We don’t need no education…
- Beaches, Imagery, WomenBitches Be Trippin’
- Bitches be trippin’
- Animals, Geeky, Imagery, Math, SnakesSnakes On A Plane
- Snakes on a plane.
- Animals, Dogs, Drugs, Imagery, MethMeth Lab Dog
- Yellow Lab, Black Lab, Chocolate Lab, Meth Lab!
- SexistGirl’s And Boy’s Diaries
- A girl and a boy and their diaries…
- Android, Galaxy Note, Imagery, Phones, Samsung, TechnologyBattery Fully Charged. Unplug Charger.
- In what is perhaps one of the more stupid “features” on my Samsung Galaxy Note, when it reaches full charge, it lights up its screen and pops up and audible alert saying “Battery fully charged. Unplug charger.” As I charge my phone at night, it is effectively an extremely annoying unwanted wake-up call.
- America, France, Ireland, Irish, Racist, RisquéThe Penis Study
- The American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man’s penis was larger than the shaft…
- Imagery, Marriage, Men, WomenMarriage Secrets Of Highly Successful Couples
- Marriage secrets of highly successful couples.
- Geeky, Imagery, Sexist, WomenHazardous Materials Data Sheet – Woman
- Hazardous Materials Data Sheet – Woman.
- Cars, ImageryCar Alarms
- Car alarms: They piss me off!
- Chocolate, Geeky, Homes, Honey, Imagery, Milk, PhonesQuite Literally…
- I phone, you tube. Hi honey, I’m home. Chocolate milk shake.
- Aboriginal, Australia, Gay, RacistAboriginal Jobs
- At the end of a tiny, deserted bar is a huge Aboriginal bloke…
- Energy Drinks, Geeky, Imagery, Rubiks CubesMonster Energy Drinks & Rubiks Cubes
- Monster energy drinks & Rubiks Cubes: Dude. You have a problem. Problem solved!
- Imagery, SexistHusband Glasses
- I’m returning these glasses I bought for my husband. He’s still not seeing things my way.
- Fish, ImageryThe Swordfish
- The swordfish has few predators to worry about in the wild, except for the seldom seen penfish which is said to be even mightier.
- Imagery, Shirts, Tourettes, TshirtsWhat Do We Want? A Cure For Tourettes!
- What do we want? A cure for tourettes! When do we want it? …
- Imagery, MilkLying About Skim Milk
- There’s only one thing I hate more than lying. Skim milk, which is water that’s lying about being milk.
- Blonde, Fruit, Ginger, Hair, Imagery, Strawberries, WomenGinger Versus Strawberry Blonde
- This is a strawberry. This is ginger…
- Alphabet, Doctors, ImageryThe Medical Alphabet
- The Medical Alphabet
- Animals, Dogs, Imagery, RisquéBitches & Hose
- Having so much fun…
- PilotsBlind Pilots
- You know, Bob, one of these days, they’re going to scream too late, and we’re all gonna die…
- Animals, Cats, ImageryCat In A Cat Box
- A cat in a Cat box.
- Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, MsnMSN Shuts Down
- We reminisce about “the good old days” of MSN…
- Illusion, ImageryThe Angry/Calm Illusion
- The Angry/Calm Illusion.
- Imagery, Posters, ScienceLost Wormhole
- Do not attempt capture because you’ll totally screw with the space/time continuum bro.
- Australia, Imagery, Kevin Rudd, PoliticalKevin Rudd’s Ego
- Kevin Rudd’s Ego.
- ImageryHow To Be Green
- A boardgame: How to be Green…
- Imagery, Ocd, ShirtsI Have CDO. It’s Like OCD But All The Letters Are In Alphabetical Order.
- I have CDO. It’s like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order. As they should be.
- Geeky, Imagery, InternetYour Computer Is Broadcasting Your IP...
- Your computer is broadcasting your IP over the Internet…
- Children, Imagery, ParentingAn Angry Child
- If she doesn’t put me down in about two seconds, I will be forced to use my fist!
- DrugsGranny LSD
- Boy asks his Granny, “Have you seen my pills labelled ‘LSD’?”
- Joke, MathMath Problem
- John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now?
- Imagery, MondaysShortest Horror Story: Monday
- Shortest horror story: Monday.
- Animals, Australia, Cockatoos, Flies, Imagery, Kangaroos, Kookaburras, Magpies, Possums, Snakes, Spiders, SunburnTypically Australian Problems
- Some typically Australian problems that other people don’t face.
- Imagery, TeaMr. Tea
- Mr. Tea the teapot.
- Computers, Geeky, ItComputer Quotes
- Computer quotes.
- Australia, Imagery, Kevin Rudd, PoliticalThe Many Hands Of Kevin Rudd
- The many hand gestures of Kevin Rudd.
- Computers, Evolution, ImagerySomething Went Terribly Wrong
- Something, somewhere went terribly wrong.
- Bananas, Food, Imagery, ZucchinisGreen Banana
- Green banana…
- Air Force, Fighter Jets, Imagery, Jets, NavyWrong Button
- Fighter jet hits the wrong button.
- Geeky, ImageryVoice
- Scrooge and Donald on IRC.
- ☺Foot Smart
- See if you can outsmart your foot…
- Cars, Imagery, PetrolThe Bank Account Gas Ratio
- The depressing ratio between your bank account, and your gas tank.
- ReligiousThe Atheist & The Bear
- The Atheist and the Religious Bear
- Comics, Guns, Hands, ImageryHands In The Air!
- Hands in the air! Now wave them around like you just don’t care!
- Computers, Geeky, ItStar Trek TNG Meets Microsoft
- Star Trek TNG Meets Microsoft…
- Imagery, MedicalHearing Aids
- Hearing aids…
- Animals, Bananas, Dogs, Food, ImageryBanana Dogs
- Banana Dogs.
- SexistEvening Classes For Men
- Instructive evening classes for men…
- Animals, Dogs, Imagery, SnakesLong Dogs
- A man walking two long dogs meets a man walking two normal dogs…
- Animals, Jokes, Puns, Racing, SnailsI Took The Shell Off My Racing Snail, Thinking It Would Make Him Run Faster.
- I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster.
- Blacks, Imagery, RacistBlacks For Sale
- They can still do that?
- AudioTelstra Customer Service
- An insight into the Telstra Customer Service Experience.
- Bananas, Fruit, ImageryAppealing Attire
- I find this attire… appeeling.
- All Your Base, Geeky, Imagery, InternetAll Your Base...
- All your base are belong to us.
- Imagery, PhotographyOlympus Fights Back
- Olympus Fights Back: Canon versus Olympus
- Dads, Imagery, Jokes, Phones, SmsSometimes I Sit On The Floor And Put My Arms Around My Knees And Lean Forward
- Dad: Sometimes I sit on the floor and put my arms around my knees and lean forward. Daughter: Huh? Dad: Cuz that’s how I roll!
- Animals, Imagery, LlamaA Shaved Llama
- A shaved Llama
- ImageryTechnically Correct
- …but still wrong.
- Computers, ImageryAlready Exists
- skdjaskdhsajdahsdjashds.jpg already exists. Do you want to replace it? You've got to be kidding me.
- Evolution, Imagery, ZombiesZombie Evolution
- The evolution of Zombies
- Bones, ImageryI Found This Humerus
- I found this humerus.
- SexistAustralia And Mateship
- Mateship amongst Men & Women: The differences…
- America, Animated, Imagery, Obama, PoliticalThanks, Obama
- Thanks, Obama.
- Flowcharts, Imagery, SexistHow To Argue With A Woman
- A flowchart.
- Animals, Ducklings, Ducks, ImageryBeware Of Cute Duckling Scam
- Beware of Cute Duckling Scam…
- Animals, Imagery, OctopusesDrunk Octopus Wants To Fight
- Drunk Octopus Wants to Fight…
- Advertising, Feminine Hygiene, Imagery, Risqué, Sexist, Tampons, VintageThe Girls Are Talking About Tampons
- The Blonde: It’s invisible sanitary protection, thank heavens…
- Australia, Iraq, PoliticalThe Australian Constitution: For Iraq
- They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq…
- Bikinis, Burqa, Imagery, Muslim, Racist, SexistWhat A Cruel Male-dominated Culture
- It’s a male dominated culture, no matter how you look at it…
- Imagery, Masturbation, RisquéI’m Starting To Think My Husband Masturbates
- I’m not absolutely certain yet, but I’m starting to think my husband masturbates
- Imagery, Real EstateLaminated Room
- List of reasons why a room would have to contain a bucket and be almost entirely laminated: 1) Bad reasons.
- Advertising, Imagery, Rice, Risqué, Sexist, VintageVa-Rice-Ity: My Man Likes Something Unexpected…
- My man likes something unexpected now and then. That’s why I serve him rice.
- Batman, Imagery, WikileaksWikileaks
- Bruce Wayne!
- English, WordsWhat Is A Word Made Up Of 4 Letters Yet Is Also Made Up Of 3
- What is a word made up of 4 letters yet is also made up of 3. Although is written with 8 letters, and then with 4. Rarely consists of 6, and never is written with 5.
- Betas, Bugs, Calendars, Cartoons, Imagery, MayansMayan’s Beta Calendar Bug
- …to get to the point; why does your calendar end in 2012? Oh, that’s just a temporary problem in the beta version!
- Animals, Babies, Biblical, Dogs, Imagery, ReligiousTake His Wife And Flee
- It seems Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but she looked back and turned into a pillar of salt! What happened to the flea?
- Computer Games, Education, Games, Imagery, Internet, Minecraft, School, TestsMinecraft: Create A Simple Door
- Describe a process that could be used to create a simple door.
- Animals, Eggs, Giraffes, ImageryGiraffe Egg
- Giraffe Egg.
- Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Internet Explorer, Mac, WindowsCan Your Mac Do This?
- Can your Mac do this? I don’t think so…
- Aeroplanes, Imagery, Oceans, SubmarinesSubmarines In The Sky
- Did you know that there are more planes in the sea than there are submarines in the sky?
- Africa, Bus, ImageryDo You Ever Get So Angry…
- Do you ever get so angry… you throw a VCR at a burning bus?
- Alcohol, Drunk, ImagerySlur In Cursive
- When I drink, I don’t slur my words… I speak in cursive.
- Cables, Cables, Geeky, Imagery, UsbCables Exist In 4-dimensional Space
- Proof USB cables exist in 4-dimensional space.
- Imagery, Risqué, SexSex Tape
- I made a sex tape. Shhh!
- Australia, Buses, Explosions, Imagery, InalaSorry For Party Rocking
- Sorry for Party Rocking: Driver jumps from burning bus, party bus explodes in Inala.
- Alcohol, Books, Imagery, WineBook Club
- My book club only reads wine labels.
- Food, Geeky, ImageryLOL For Lunch
- Ordering linguini for lunch always boosts morale.
- Cars, Imagery, RacingTimes Were Tough Before The GoPro
- Times were tough before the GoPro…
- Animals, ImageryCat Legs
- There really isn’t much else to say about this.
- Facebook, Geeky, Imagery, InternetGoogle+ Versus Facebook
- Google Plus versus Facebook
- ImageryProcrastination Issues
- I’m taking care of my procrastination issues; just you wait and see.
- Balloons, Cars, ImageryMissile Balloons
- Missile Balloons.
- Animals, Imagery, Languages, Latin, PigsPig Latin
- Pig Latin…
- Risqué, SexKeep Your Mouth Shut
- If you don’t believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut!
- Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, Sauron, Traffic LightsKneel, Says The Demon Light
- Stop says the red light, go says the green. Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between. Kneel, says the demon light, with its eye of coal. Sauron knows your licence plate, and stares into your soul.
- Animals, Gorillas, Imagery, King Kong, Mobiles, Phones, VodafoneNo Signal
- The “Vodafone Effect”.
- English, GrammarThat’s What She Said
- That’s what she said.
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryFree Puppy
- Free puppy…
- Buses, ImageryGo Home Bus, You’re Drunk!
- Go home bus, you’re drunk!
- Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Imagery, Internet Explorer, Opera, SafariBrowsers: Their Differences
- The differences between the major web browsers.
- Imagery, Sexist, TalkingWomen Use About 30,000 Words A Day
- Did you know that women use about 30,000 words a day while men use only 15,000?
- Drugs, Homophobia, Imagery, Marijuana, MedicalMedical Marijuana
- What disease is your medical marijuana relieving?
- Animals, Animated, Bananas, Cats, ImageryCat & Banana
- The cat and the banana.
- Homeless, SexistSledgehammer Psychology
- A business man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner…
- Animals, Birds, Crows, Imagery, TrucksCrows Killed By Trucks
- Why are so many crows killed by trucks?
- Animals, Cats, Dogs, JokeWoof
- How do you get a cat to bark like a dog?
- Geeky, InternetCannot Find The Damn File
- Cannot find the damn file…
- Girls, Imagery, WorkForgot I Was Sharing My Screen With Her
- I was on an online conference call with a cute sounding girl, and googled her name out of curiosity. Forgot I was sharing my screen with her.
- Medical, RisquéBetter Than A Flu Shot
- Better than a Flu Shot
- Animals, Joke, PigsThree Little Piggies
- Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night…
- Imagery, RacistYou Must Be A Racist
- Oh, you were expecting a white guy?
- ☺Pregnancy & Women: Questions
- Pregnancy & Women: Frequently Asked Questions
- Darth Vader, Imagery, Kristen StewartMore Expressions Than Kristen Stewart
- Still more expressions than Kristen Stewart.
- Imagery, PoliticalThailand Has The Largest Mormon Population
- Did you know Thailand has the largest Mormon population in Africa?
- Daughters, Families, Imagery, MothersMum, What’s It Like To Have The Greatest Daughter In The World?
- Mum, what’s it like to have the greatest daughter in the world? I don’t know dear… you’ll have to ask grandma.
- Africa, Animals, ImageryRhino Painting
- A rhinoceros painting…
- Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryAnimals That Didn’t Expect Their Humans To Come Home So Early!
- Animals that didn’t expect their humans to come home so early!
- ☺Talking Clock
- Why, that’s my Talking Clock…
- Computers, Geeky, It, Technology101 Things You Do Not Want...
- 101 Things You Do Not Want Your System Administrator to say.
- Computers, Sms, WindowsWindows Frozen
- Wife texts husband on a cold winter’s morning, “Windows frozen.”
- Animals, Bananas, Birds, Food, Imagery, ParrotsBanana Parrot Terrorism
- A parrot eating bananas.
- Boobs, Cars, Imagery, Risqué, SexistShe Might Scratch The Paint
- I know what you’re thinking… she might scratch the paint.
- Imagery, WorkNothing To Do
- In case of nothing to do, break glass and then sweep up broken glass.
- Animated, Chris Coutts, Flash, Imagery, No Effort OnlineChris Coutts: No Effort Online: What Does Suxor Mean?
- Chris Coutts: No Effort Online flash animations
- Animals, Conspiracies, Dogs, Imagery, SheepThat Conspiracy Stuff
- I’m telling you – the man and the dog are definitely working together…
- Computers, ImageryInsert Disk Two
- Please insert disk two.
- Animals, Imagery, OttersOtter Nonsense
- I’ve had it up to here with your otter nonsense…
- Cling-wrap, Imagery, WorkCling-wrap Fun
- Cling-wrap fun.
- CarsMini Cooper
- A guy driving a Mini Cooper pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce…
- Books, Imagery, PhobiasEverything You Wanted To Know About Phobias
- Everything you wanted to know about Phobias (but were afraid to ask)
- Imagery, Joke, Mayans, PredictionsMayan Joke Set-Up
- Heh… I’ve just thought of a joke with the longest set-up ever! Cool! I’ll fetch a scribe…
- Computer Games, Imagery, Microsoft, XboxXbox One Vs. An Ordinary Brick
- Xbox One vs. An Ordinary Brick: Price, DRM Free, Requires Internet, Region Locked…
- America, RacistA Russian Arrives In New York
- A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United States…
- Computer Games, ImageryVideo Games Ruined My Life
- Video games ruined my life. Good thing I have two more.
- Cars, Imagery, Roads, SignsTired? Powernap Now.
- Tired? Powernap now.
- Animals, Cows, Horses, ImageryThis Guy’s An Idiot! Quick, Take A Picture!
- This guy’s an idiot! Quick, take a picture!
- Beer, ImagerySix Die In Horror Smash
- Six Die in Horror Smash.
- Racist, RedneckA Redneck Love Poem
- Susie Lee done fell in love…
- Alcohol, Goon, Imagery, Logan, Police, RacistLargest Goon Bust In Logan’s History
- Logan police in conjunction with the A.F.P. hauled in the largest goon bust in Logan’s history. With an estimated street value of $39.
- English, ImageryYou You Read The First Line Wrong?
- What if I told you you read the first line wrong?
- Animals, Australia, Emus, WarEmu War
- Result: Emu Victory.
- Animals, Dogs, Imagery, SpidersSpider Dog
- Spider Dog…
- Facebook, ImageryI Think I Might Stay Home Tonight…
- I think I might stay home tonight… Liver and Wallet like this.
- Animated, Australia, Imagery, Internet, Political, TelstraBuilding The NBN From Telstra Copper
- Building the NBN from Telstra Copper
- Geeky, SexistDear Tech Support
- Girlfriend technical support…
- English, Grammar, Risqué, School, University, WritingShort Story
- A college class was told they had to write a short story in as few words as possible.…
- Animals, Fish, Girls, ImagerySaved A Fish From Drowning
- Here is a heart warming picture of a little girl that saved a fish from drowning.
- Cars, Imagery, Logan, My Family Stickers, Racist, StickersLogan My Family Stickers
- Logan My Family Stickers.
- Aboriginal, Australia, RacistAboriginal Eggs
- Two Aboriginal lads are riding along the Hume Highway on a motorbike…
- Aboriginal, Australia, Imagery, Racist, The RockStolen Generator
- So I heard about the stolen generation…
- Boobs, Bsod, Computers, Fashion, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, Sexist, Shirts, Windows, WomenI Love My BSOD
- Perhaps the only blue screen of death geeks would be happy to see.
- Imagery, ShopsBall-type Deodorant
- Her: Is it the ball-type deodorant you want sir? Him: Oh no miss – it’s for under my arms!
- ImageryEmoticons
- Lots of emoticons…
- Alcohol, Imagery, Marriage, WineSecrets To A Long, Happy Marriage
- An old woman was sipping on a glass of wine…
- Adelaide, Australia, Chairs, Disaster, Earthquake, ImageryThe 2011 Adelaide Earthquake
- The 2011 Adelaide Earthquake: We will rebuild.
- Animals, Irish, RacistIrish Pets
- Two Irish men walk into a pet shop…
- ImageryAll Images
- All Images
- Engineering, Flowcharts, Geeky, ImageryEngineering Flowchart
- Nothing duct tape and WD-40 can’t fix…
- RisquéTemptation
- Temptation, by a soon to be married man.
- Cars, Geeky, Imagery, SqlSpeed Camera Hack
- Car with SQL injection taped to the front.
- Animals, Australia, Crocodiles, Emus, Imagery, Kangaroos, Koalas, Kookaburras, Police, Sharks, Spiders, Woolworths26 Everyday Occurrences In Australia
- When you live on a barely hospitable desert island that was once a continent-sized penal colony, your life tends to be a little more badass than the average person’s.
- ☺How To Make Sure You’re A Normal Person
- A quick and easy test to determine if you are a normal person…
- Babies, Imagery, Kanye West, Kim Kardashian, Phones, Sms, Taylor Swift, TwitterYo I’m Happy For You And Imma Let You Finish But…
- [Twitter] Taylor Swift: @KimKardashian @kanyewest Yo I’m happy for you and imma let you finish but Beyonce had one of the best labours of all time.
- ImageryMichael Jackson's Dog
- A rather mean impression of what Michael Jackson’s dog might look like, if it had similar surgery.
- Batman, Imagery, Iphone, Phones, SmsI’m Batman
- SMS conversation between Tim and Batman.
- Imagery, SpidersSpider’s Remember
- Remember when you threw a shoe at me and I fell somewhere behind the bed? I remember too.
- Computers, ImageryTimes Change
- …but other things don’t.
- Blonde, SexistA Young Brunette Goes To The Doctor...
- A young brunette goes to the doctor…
- Animals, ImageryGeneral Hierarchical Management Structure
- I’ve never seen a Flow Chart described so clearly.
- Alarms, Animals, Clocks, Imagery, SpidersAlarm Clock That Releases Spiders
- Million dollar idea… alarm clock that releases spiders! Now you’re up!
- ImageryVegetative State
- Vegetative State.
- Canada, Flutes, Imagery, SignsCanada Has A Serious Epidemic
- Protect yourself and others from the flute.
- Cars, Imagery, MoviesDiesel
- Hey, wanna know what I put in my car?
- Imagery, Movies, Obi-wan Kenobi, Star Wars, Terrorism, World Trade CentreThese Blast Points… Too Accurate For Sand People
- Obi-Wan Kenobi in front of burning World Trade Centre towers: “These blast points… too accurate for sand people”.
- Apple, Imagery, Ipad, Portal, Technology, ValveValve’s “Portal”, As An IPad Decoration.
- Valve’s “Portal”, as an iPad decoration.
- Imagery, PhonesJack’s Phone
- Why aren’t you answering…?
- English, Etymology, Imagery, Languages, SpanishEntero Somewhere Elso
- English: Do Not Enter Here; Spanish: Entero Somewhere Elso.
- ImageryFight Apathy
- …or don’t.
- Germany, LoveTell Someone You Love Them Today
- Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying and confusing.
- Beds, Hotels, Imagery, Phones, SheetsAlways Leave Your Hotel Room Like This
- Always leave your hotel room like this
- Animals, Antelopes, ImageryDid You Know There Is A Species Of Antelope Capable Of Jumping Higher Than The Average House?
- Did you know there is a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house? This is due to its powerful hind legs and the fact that the average house cannot jump.
- Imagery, ReligiousBelieve In Reincarnation
- Yeah, well, I didn’t believe in reincarnation when I was your age, either.
- Parties, WatchesNot On My Watch
- Lost my watch at a party once…
- Australia, Games, Imagery, MonopolyAustralian Monopoly
- Australian Monopoly: St Marys to Penrith Special Edition.
- Charts, Computer Games, Imagery, Pacman, Pie ChartsPacman Pie Chart
- The Pacman pie chart.
- Advertising, Guns, Imagery, Revolvers, VintageIsn’t It Time You Gave Yourself A Christmas Gift?
- Isn’t it time you gave yourself a Christmas Gift?
- Evolution, ImageryEvolution: Stop Following Me!
- The typical “evolution of man” poster, except the man is facing his “earlier ancestors” saying “Stop following me!”
- Imagery, Movies, PiratesHorny Pirate’s Worst Nightmare
- What’s a horny pirate’s worst nightmare?
- Imagery, MoviesTitanic Ice Bucket Challenge
- Titanic ALS Ice Bucket Challenge: “I accept your ice water challenge”.
- Imagery, Movies, RomanceGirlfriends: Harry Potter Versus Twilight
- Ginny: When Harry broke up with me for my safety…
- Guns, Imagery, Mp3, Mp4, Mp5Well, That Escalated Quickly
- Well, that escalated quickly.
- Cold, Flu, Illness, Imagery, Man Flu, SexistMan Flu
- The difference between men & women when they are sick.
- Drink, Food, ImageryThings To Eat And Drink In Public
- Things to eat and drink in public.
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryDog Queue
- Sometimes, even dogs have to queue…
- Drugs, Imagery, Meth, R2-d2, Robots, Star WarsMeth: Before & After
- Meth: Before & After (or R2-D2 versus R2-FU).
- Imagery, MenI'd Rather Break My Arms Than Take Two Trips
- I'd rather break my arms than take two trips.
- Australia, Imagery, Matches, Pauline Hanson, Political, Redheads, RednecksRednecks
- Redneck Matches…
- Illusion, ImageryIllogical Lego
- Illogical Lego.
- Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, VintageHappier With A Hoover
- Christmas morning she’ll be happier with a Hoover.
- Animals, Dogs, Education, Elephants, Exams, Fish, Imagery, Monkeys, Penguins, School, SealsOur Education System
- [To an assorted group of animals] Our Education System: For a fair selection everybody has to take the same exam: Please climb that tree.
- Animals, Computer Games, Games, Imagery, PhonesAngry Birds
- Angry Birds attend Anger Management.
- Animals, Flamingos, ImageryGarden Flamingo
- Garden Flamingo…
- ☺Disclaimer, Copyright & Contact Information
- Feel free to send me anything you think might amuse me.
- Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryDear Dog
- Dear Dog… a letter from the cat.
- Campbell Newman, Imagery, Political, QueenslandCampbell Newman: Public Service: You Can Trust Me
- [Campbell Newman laughing] …and then I said to the public service… you can trust me…
- Animated, ImageryWait!
- Wait…
- Imagery, Paper, SignsIs It Me You’re Looking For?
- Hello? Is it me you’re looking for?
- Beer, Computers, GeekyIf Beer Was Like Operating Systems...
- If Beer was like Operating Systems…
- Animals, Dogs, Drugs, High, ImageryDog, How High Are You?
- Dog, how high are you? Yes.
- Animals, ImageryAntique Tables
- Made Daily…
- Children, ParentingWhy Parents Drink
- Why parents drink.
- Boats, Books, Fishing, Reading, Sexist, WomenNever Argue With A Woman
- Never Argue with a Woman…
- Cars, Dumbledore, Harry Potter, Imagery, PetrolExpecto Petroleum!
- Expecto Petroleum!
- Imagery, RisquéHebrew Cave Paintings
- Written across the wall of the cave were the following symbols…
- Animated, Chris Coutts, Flash, Imagery, No Effort OnlineChris Coutts: No Effort Online: Tales For The L33T: PATR TOO: HAMLET
- Chris Coutts: No Effort Online flash animations
- ImageryCockroach Cancer
- Please, don’t throw your cigarette butts on the floor…
- Facebook, Imagery, TattoosTough Tattoos
- Tough Tattoos: You Don’t Have to Like Me.
- Animals, Cars, Children, Girls, Horses, ImageryNo Pony For Christmas
- No pony for Christmas? No window for driving!
- Animals, Broomsticks, Cars, Frogs, Imagery, Parking, Princesses, WitchesAll Others Will Be Toad
- Private customer parking only. All others will be toad.
- For Sale, Imagery, Posters, PrintersPrinter For Sale
- Printer For Sale. Works Terribly.
- Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryJust Being A Cat
- Dog attacks person. Put dog to sleep. Cat attacks person. LOL, jus’ bein’ a cat.
- Risqué, WorkThe Boss’s Quandary
- The Boss’s Quandary…
- Children, Cleaning, Imagery, MopsStupid Child Efficiency Mop
- Stupid Child Efficiency Mop. Wipe high-efficiently.
- Advertising, Babies, ImageryGood Things Are Twice As Good In Cellophane
- Good things are twice as good in Cellophane!
- Animated, Chris Coutts, Flash, Imagery, No Effort OnlineChris Coutts: No Effort Online: Ugly Whore
- Chris Coutts: No Effort Online flash animations
- Australia, Cars, Ghosts, Pub, Storm, SupernaturalA True Australian Ghost Story
- This story happened a short while ago near Brisbane, and even though it sounds a little Alfred Hitchcock… it’s (supposedly) true.
- Imagery, RedneckRedneck Ingenuity
- Redneck Ingenuity: Shoes for tyres.
- Imagery, WorkMeetings
- The practical alternative to work.
- Cyclones, Imagery, SupermarketsCyclone Magic Trick
- Wanna see a magic trick?
- Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, Sweaters, VintageMen Are Better Than Women!
- Indoors, women are useful — even pleasant. On a mountain they are something of a drag. So don’t go hauling them up a cliff…
- Illusion, ImageryFour Perfectly Round Circles
- Four Perfectly Round Circles.
- Geeky, Imagery, Movies, The MatrixThe Matrix
- What is The Matrix?
- Food, Imagery, SexistBut God, She Won’t Even Make Me A Sandwich…
- But God, She Won’t Even Make Me a Sandwich…
- Blackjack, Cards, Games, ImageryBlack Jack Black
- Black Jack Black eating Cracker Jack playing a black jack while playing BlackJack with Jack Black who is threatening Black Jack Black with a Black Jack.
- Australia, Doctors, Imagery, SpidersAustralian Spider Bite
- That spider bit me… am I going to become spiderman? No. This is Australia, you’re going to die.
- Animals, Chocolate, Dogs, Heaven, ImageryA Dog Dies: Can I Have Chocolate?
- A dog dies and finds out chocolate killed him.
- Diets, Food, Paleolithic DietPaleolithic Diet
- Something’s just not right—our air is clean, our water is pure, we all get plenty of exercise, everything we eat is organit and free-range, and yet nobody lives past thirty.
- Africa, Apple, Imagery, Ipad, StarvingThinner Than Ever
- Thinner than ever.
- Cooking, Frypans, ImageryNon-stick Frypan
- A stuck non-stick frypan…
- Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, SexistAmazing Hidden Images
- Amazing Hidden Images!
- ReligiousThe Pope Is Busted
- After getting all of Pope John Paul’s luggage loaded into the limo…
- Batman, Imagery, WomenNana Nana Nana Batman!
- Nana Nana Nana Batman!
- Books, Imagery, Racist, ShopsWong Fook Hing Book Store
- If you cannot find the book that you are looking for, then you’re obviously in the… Wong Fook Hing Book Store!
- Facebook, ImageryFacebook Illusion
- Facebook: Providing the illusion you have friends since 2004!
- Computers, ImageryChecking On A Slow Progress Bar
- Checking on a slow progress bar.
- Boobs, Imagery, RisquéBoob Staring
- Shirt: Please tell your boobs to quit staring at my eyes.
- Political, RisquéHillary Clinton Goes To Her Doctor For A Physical…
- Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical…
- Advertising, April Fools, Ikea, Imagery, Product Recalls, ToolsIKEA Product Recall
- IKEA product recall advert on April Fools Day
- Highway Patrol, Police, Speeding, WorkcoverSweet Justice
- Workcover versus the police…
- Animals, Imagery, RisquéOld Style Birth Control
- Old Style Birth Control.
- Advertising, Australia, Billboards, CarsRAC Roadside Assistance Meltdown
- You don’t want to be stuck out here.
- Feminists, Imagery, Lightbulbs, Sexist, WomenHow Many Feminists Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?
- How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Don’t be silly, feminists can’t change anything!
- Cars, ImageryHome Mechanics
- Home Mechanics and their cars.
- Babies, ImageryNow Airtight
- Now airtight… to prevent aging!
- Geeky, ItHow To Please Your IT Department
- How to please your IT department.
- Animals, Imagery, SharksMisunderstood Sharks
- Misunderstood Sharks.
- Imagery, Israeli, Palestinian, Political, RacistIsraeli Settlers
- Of course we want peace–this piece and this piece and this piece and this piece…
- Animals, Cats, ImageryOn A Roll
- Don’t try to stop me… ‘cause I am on a roll.
- Coffee, Religious, SexistMorning Coffee
- A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning…
- Imagery, SexistRealistic Remotes
- Some more useful remote controls we would like to see.
- Balloons, Birthdays, ImageryBalloons Are So Weird…
- Balloons are so weird… “Happy Birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath”
- RacistOnly In America...
- Only in America…
- Imagery, Osama Bin Laden, Sport, Terrorists, Weight LiftingOsama Bin Liftin’
- Osama Bin Liftin’
- ☺Helpful Hints
- Helpful Hints
- Marriage, SexistSecrets To A Happy Marriage
- Secrets to a Happy Marriage…
- Buffering, Buffy, Imagery, TvBuffy Buffering
- Buffy buffering…
- ☺The Poodle And The Leopard
- Experience trumps youth.
- ImageryProblem Solving Flowchart
- A simple, and humorous, flowchart that successfully troubleshoots almost any problem you can think of.
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryFunny Dog
- The longer you look, the funnier it gets!
- Diving, Imagery, Sharks, Sign LanguageA Signal They Forgot To Teach You In Your Open Water Class.
- Big shark behind you: A signal they forgot to teach you in your open water class.
- Imagery, LoveThis Summarises My Love Life
- This summarises my love life. I’m the guy in blue…
- Animated, Chris Coutts, Flash, Imagery, No Effort OnlineChris Coutts: No Effort Online: Tales For The L33T: ROMEO+JULIET
- Chris Coutts: No Effort Online flash animations
- Geology, Imagery, SchoolGeology
- Name the three types of rock.
- Books, Imagery, Sexist“Understanding Women” Now Available In Paperback
- The book “Understanding Women” is now available in paperback!
- Drugs, ImageryToo High
- Quick! Grab my hand! I… I can’t! You’re too high! What?
- Imagery, RisquéDon’t Fall For This
- The CIA is trying to steal my…
- Animals, ImageryNot Allowed
- When a dog is all out of luck.
- Animals, Birds, Imagery, Mirrors, ParrotsTap That
- I’d tap that!
- Australia, Games, Imagery, ReligiousThanks God
- God and the Rubiks Cube…
- Money, SexistFemale Financial Planning
- Women are so much better at financial planning than men.
- Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Internet ExplorerBrowser Wars
- Browser Wars: Chrome versus Firefox… and Internet Explorer…
- Animated, Chris Coutts, Flash, Imagery, No Effort OnlineChris Coutts: No Effort Online: What Does Suxor Mean 2
- Chris Coutts: No Effort Online flash animations
- Halloween, Imagery, Pumpkins, VegetablesAngry Pumpkin Man
- Angry Pumpkin Man: Come at me bro!
- Canada, Etiquette, ImageryHolding Doors
- Holding Doors: A Question of Distance.
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryI See What You Did There
- I see what you did there… also, over here…
- Bmw, Cars, Imagery, WorkBrand New BMW
- The owner of the company where I work pulled up in his brand new BMW this morning…
- Crocs, Friday The 13th, Imagery, Jason Voorhees, Movies, ShoesJason Voorhees Gets Crocs
- Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th) gets Crocs.
- Imagery, Risqué, Tape Measures, ToolsBreakdown Of A Man’s Tape Measure Usage
- Breakdown of a man’s tape measure usage
- JokesToday Is Sunday
- Attention! Today is Sunday. Share this on your Facebook wall. Within seven days you’ll get another Sunday…
- Animals, Cats, ImageryPlease Don’t Let The Cat Out. No Matter What It Tells You!
- Please don’t let the cat out. No matter what it tells you!
- Babies, Imagery, PregnancyPregnancy Tips
- Some useful pregnancy tips…
- Computers, Geeky, ImageryWhenever I Have To Force Shutdown
- Whenever I have to force shutdown.
- Exams, Imagery, Signs, University, UqIn Class Vs. In Your Exam
- In class vs. in your exam.
- Food, ImageryI Love The Smell Of Pixel In The Morning
- I Love the Smell of Pixel in the Morning…
- Flies, Ipad, NewspapersModern Newspapers
- I was visiting my daughter last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper…
- Australia, Bank Notes, Banks, Imagery, Money, PoliticalAustralian Bank Notes
- Australian Bank Notes.
- Animals, RisquéDoctor Bob Had Sex With One Of His Patients…
- Doctor Bob had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long…
- Bathrooms, Coronavirus, Imagery, Public TransportExperts Recommend Keeping Your Daily Rituals Even While Working From Home
- Experts recommend keeping your daily rituals even while working from home
- Animals, ImageryFalling Cows
- A roadsign showing a cow falling off a cliff and onto a car.
- Imagery, Seniors, WarDrafting Guys Over 60
- New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!
- Books, ImageryRead Your Book Case
- A bookcase worth reading.
- Imagery, ToiletsPeeing: Expert Mode
- Peeing: Expert Mode
- Imagery, New Years, ResolutionsNew Year’s Resolutions – Again
- New Year’s Resolutions – Again
- Boobs, SexistTen Things Men Know About Women
- Ten things men know about women…
- Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, Vintage, VitaminsThe Harder A Wife Works, The Cuter She Looks
- So the harder a wife works, the cuter she looks!
- Computer Games, Geeky, ImageryReality
- Worst game ever.
- Imagery, SnowDead Snowmen
- Gruesomely dead snowmen.
- Ice, Imagery, MindpowerMelt Ice With My Mind
- I can melt ice with my mind… just give me a few minutes…
- Imagery, UniversityUniversity Website
- Things on the front page of a university website.
- Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery, WorkMario: Happy
- Quit your day job and do what makes you happy.
- ImageryMissed You...
- Image of a soldier pointing a gun towards the camera with caption “When you first left, I missed you badly… I WONT THIS TIME”
- Beer, Calendars, Imagery, Mayans, Predictions2 Mayan Guys
- [2 Mayan Guys] Wanna beer? I’m working on this calendar, but I guess if I don’t finish it won’t be the end of the world.
- English, WordsI’m Awkward When People Compliment Me…
- I’m awkward when people compliment me… “Nice hair” Me: “Thanks, I grew it myself”
- Imagery, PhonesJester App
- Sorry–you've been replaced by an app…
- Imagery, Jokes, Paper, Puns, SignsTearable Puns
- These are tearable puns.
- Imagery, SexistAlways Love A Woman For Her Personality
- Always love a woman for her personality. They have like 10, so you can choose.
- Bugs Bunny, Cartoons, Daffy Duck, Donald Duck, Goofy, Imagery, Looney Tunes, Mickey Mouse, Porky Pig, Road Runner, Tom And Jerry, Wile E CoyoteJust To Make You Feel Really Old
- Just to make you feel really old…
- Imagery, ToiletsWalked Into A Public Bathroom
- Walked into a public bathroom. Saw this and heard “hello?”
- Computers, GeekyOperating System Airlines
- Operating System Airlines.
- Australia, New Zealand, RacistKiwi Pig Sheep
- Voted Best Joke of the Year in Australia…
- Animals, Australia, Dropbears, Imagery, KoalasDrop Bears – Department Of Dangerous Fauna Management
- Dropbears are a very real danger to all Australians. Almost one in ten Australians has been attacked by a Dropbear, and the rate is even higher for foreign visitors. Don’t become another statistic. Always beware low branches and doorframes. Look up. Stay Alive.
- Imagery, Monday, Punch, WorkThe Monday Punch
- The Monday Punch: A man punched in the face.
- Australia, PoliticalCostello’s Reward For Being Loyal
- Costello’s reward for being loyal…
- Animals, Djs, Fishing, Imagery, MusicDrop The Bass
- Can’t go fishing, ‘cause I always drop the bass…
- Jokes, RisquéWhere Is Amanda’s Husband?
- Amanda is 21 years older than her son John. In 6 years from now, Amanda will be 5 times as old as John…
- ImageryPolice Station Toilet Stolen
- Police Station Toilet Stolen… Cops have nothing to go on.
- Dba, Geeky, Imagery, SqlDBA/SQL Humour
- An SQL query walks into a bar, goes up to two tables and asks, “May I join you?”
- English, Grammar, ImageryGrammar Matters
- Two Google searches: One for “how can u” and one for “how can an individual”
- ImageryMartha Stewart’s New Digs
- Martha Stewart’s New Digs
- Agony Aunt, Cheating, Dear Abby, Imagery, Motorbikes, Relationships, SexistDear Abby, I’ve Never Written To You Before…
- Dear Abby, I’ve never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision…
- Accidents, Animals, Canada, Imagery, Moose, News, TvCanadian News
- Canadian News: Quebec snowmobiler dies after driving under a moose.
- Animals, Geckos, Trumpets, TrustYou Know What Doesn’t Grow Back, Susan? Trust!
- You know what doesn’t grow back, Susan? Trust!
- ImageryCharlie Sheen For Halloween
- No, you can’t be Charlie Sheen for Halloween.
- Alcohol, Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, WindowsWindows: File Missing
- Windows cannot find the file. Would you like some wine instead?
- Advertising, Cooking, Imagery, Sexist, VintageCook – That’s What Wives Are For!
- The Chef does everything but cook – that’s what wives are for!
- Imagery, Motorbikes, RisquéSexy Motorbike
- I am not too sure what to say about this…
- Imagery, MathSeven Ate Nine
- Six, Seven, Ate, Nine…
- America, Imagery, Political, SpyingMy Computer Hard Drive Crashed. NSA Won’t Send Me Their Backup Copy.
- My computer hard drive crashed. NSA won’t send me their backup copy.
- America, Democracy, Imagery, TvWelcome To The USA
- The Government where the money’s made up and the debt doesn’t matter.
- Animals, Horses, Imagery, Knights, Monty Python, Riding, TvCouldn’t Find My Coconut Shells.
- Was gonna ride to work today. Couldn’t find my coconut shells.
- Animals, Cats, Ducks, Imagery, Robots, Sharks, VacuumsRobot Vacuum Cat Shark Duck Chase
- Robot Vacuum Cat Shark Duck Chase.
- WorkMergers
- Amusing mergers.
- Geeky, Imagery, InternetSlashdot For Dummies
- Slashdot for Dummies – A Reference for the Rest of Us!
- Animals, Bears, Cartoons, Imagery, PigsJackass Piglet
- Hi, my name’s piglet and this is Jackass.
- Imagery, InternetProcrastination
- Have a little look at the Internet…
- Accidents, Buses, Cars, Imagery, InsuranceDon’t You Suggest To Me What To Do
- If you don’t have GIO Third Party Property Insurance, we suggest you don’t hit this bus.
- Cars, Imagery, PoliceMisleading The Public
- $100 for speeding and $250 for misleading the public…
- Advertising, Boobs, Imagery, Sexist, VintageSabrina Projects
- Sabrina demonstrates the world’s finest projection equipment…
- Babies, Court, Imagery, Jail, Judges3 Years In Jail For Stealing My Nose
- 3 years in jail for stealing my nose!
- ImageryAlzheimer’s
- “I may have alzheimer’s, but at least I don’t have alzheimer’s”
- ImageryMicrophone Eyes
- Microphone Eyes.
- America, Canada, RacistU.S. Ship Versus Canadian
- U.S. Ship versus Canadian.
- Animals, Computer Games, Computers, Imagery, SpidersBravery
- …in the face of spiders.
- Roadwork, Shovels, WorkersWe Forgot Our Shovels
- A road crew foreman calls into the shop. Foreman: “We have a problem.”
- Bananas, Food, Imagery, PhonesBanana Phone
- It’s a banana phone…
- Campervans, Camping, Cars, ImageryNot A Happy Camper
- Not a Happy Camper.
- Beer, Imagery, RacistHow People From Around The World Open Beer
- People from around the world opening beer in their own unique ways.
- PoliticalMerry Christmas & A Happy New Year
- Merry Christmas & A Happy New Year.
- ImagerySteady Hand – The Results
- Steady Hand – The Results (or what happens when you play Steady Hand)
- ImagerySpring Is Just Around The Corner
- Finally… Spring is just around the corner.
- ImagerySimple Eye Examination Test
- A simple eye examination chart.
- Hammer, ImageryStop! Hammer Time
- Stop! Hammer Time!
- Animals, Imagery, RacoonsOh… Hi… Umm… Meow?
- Oh… hi… Umm… meow?
- Imagery, School24 Chickens
- 24 Chickens: The shoe rack at the front door…
- Imagery, PoliticalWill Be President For Food
- Boy sitting next to sign “No Campaigning beyond This Point” holding sign “Will Be President for Food”.
- Jokes, Punography, PunsPunography
- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me…
- ☺Pages By Date
- A list of all the pages, sorted by their last updated or creation dates.
- Imagery, KnittingWinter Knitting
- What are you going to knit this winter?
- Bags, Imagery, ShoppingI’ll Be Bag
- A bag titled “I’ll Be Bag”
- Australia, Imagery, Nrl, Nsw, Qld, Rugby, SportNSW Playing Economically: 2 Punches Per Gallen.
- NSW playing economically. 2 punches per Gallen.
- Fonts, Imagery, TypographyBe Bold
- Be bold or italic. Never regular.
- Computer Games, Imagery, SexistCall Of Duty: Women’s Edition
- Call of Duty: Women’s Edition.
- Animals, Animated, Giraffes, ImageryHidden Giraffe
- If you stare at this picture long enough you should be able to see a giraffe…
- Religious, RisquéSisters Of St Francis
- Sisters of St. Francis House of Prostitution…
- Dinosaurs, Imagery, MuseumsTrannysaurus
- Trannysaurus: You’re fired.
- Hands, Imagery, Risqué, Valentine’s DayValentine Hand
- Of course I’ll be your valentine. Let’s stay home and watch some porn.
- SexistWinter Classes For Men
- Winter Classes for Men at the Learning Centre for Adults
- Animals, Cats, Godzilla, Imagery, KittensGodzilla Kitten
- Terrifyingly cute…
- ☺Comments & Other Similar Social Data
- Comments, Facebook Open Graph, & Other Similar Social Data.
- Australia, Chillis, Food, Racist, TexasAn Australian Chilli Tester In Texas…
- An Australian chilli tester in Texas…
- Imagery, JokeHow Many Alzheimer’s Patients Does It Take?
- To get to the other side!
- Autocorrect, Imagery, Iphone, SmsBroken Penis
- I broke my penis and it exploded all over my pants.
- Animals, Imagery, Lightbulbs, Mice, Risqué, SexHow Many Mice Does It Take To Screw In A Lightbulb?
- How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
- Al Qaeda, Bin Laden, Imagery, Political, TerrorismI Usually Get 9/11
- I don’t always get rated on my terrorism attacks, but when I do, I usually get 9/11.
- Canada, Imagery, NoticesCanadian Security
- Canadian Security: It may seem rude but for security reasons please do not open the door to strangers.
- Australia, Bbq, Cooking, Food, SexistBarbecue Etiquette
- Aussie Barbecue Season.
- Accidents, Cars, ImageryPass With Care
- Pass with care…
- ImageryCute Party Trick
- Man with finger up nose and out of eye.
- Animals, Food, ImageryBoiled Lobster
- “I hate the way they scream when you boil them!”
- Animals, Cats, Imagery, KittensNo Sitz
- I be here!
- Cars, Imagery, StickersF It
- F-it
- Imagery, MoviesThere Are Three Kinds Of People: Impatient, Patient, And Rich.
- There are three kinds of people: Impatient, patient, and rich.
- Advertising, Gay, Imagery, Ovaltine, VintageTo Wake Up Gay In The Morning…
- To wake up gay in the morning just try this at Bedtime Tonight!
- English, ImageryMissing The Point
- Missing the point
- Animals, Crocodiles, Crocs, ImageryMother Croc
- Look how instinctively the mother croc carries the baby in its mouth.
- Computers, GeekyRandom Number
- A simple function to return a random number.
- ☺The Fellowship Of The Ring
- The Fellowship of the Ring.
- Browsers, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, WindowsFirefox Has Encountered…
- …an unexpected problem with Windows.
- ImageryThe Ego Boost Urinal
- The Ego Boost Urinal.
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryA Dog Named Stay
- I bought a dog once. Named him ‘Stay’…
- Self-checkout, Shopping, Technology, TerminatorUnexpected Item In Bagging Area.
- It’s not unexpected, you literally just told me what it is…
- America, Calendars, Imagery, Mayans, Obama, Political, PredictionsThe Mystery Of The Mayan Calendar Revealed
- At last, the mystery of the Mayan calendar revealed.
- Camping, Grammar, Imagery, TentsYou Can’t Run Through A Campground
- You can’t run through a campground. You can only ran, because it’s past tents.
- Bricks, Footpaths, Imagery, OcdOCD Bricks
- The worst thing that can happen to an OCD person…
- Bikes, ImagerySquare Bike
- Surprisingly good riding down stairs… not so good on the flat.
- Advertising, Imagery, Motorola, Tv, VintageTelevision Benefits Your Children
- How television benefits your children.
- Children, Imagery, PaintChildren Painting
- Two children, half a room and a TV covered in white paint.
- Animals, Bread, Dogs, Food, ImageryI’m Inbred!
- I’m Inbred!
- Fortune Cookies, ImageryYou Are Not Illiterate.
- You are not illiterate.
- JokeLaurel And Hardy
- Laurel and Hardy were repairing their roof. All of a sudden, Hardy lost his balance and went tumbling on the ground…
- Imagery, Psychotherapists, TherapyHappy People
- If you don’t see happy people, you need therapy!
- Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Internet Explorer, Opera, SafariIE Retarded
- I hope he doesn’t say something retarded…
- Comics, English, ImageryThe Accidental Conversation Loop
- My greatest social fear: The Accidental Conversation Loop.
- ImageryI’m So Sick Of Not Being Understood!
- I’m so sick of not being understood! What do you mean?
- GeekyIf Dr Seuss Was A Technical Writer
- If Dr Seuss Was A Technical Writer.
- SexistSocialize
- Men socialize by insulting each other…
- Geeky, ImageryIPad Stone
- iPad versus a stone.
- Imagery, RisquéAdult Dog Store
- A dog carries an inflatable leg from an Adult Dog Store.
- Animals, Imagery, ZebrasZebra Crossing
- Zebra Crossing…
- Jokes, MathMath Joke
- Math joke.
- Alligators, Animals, Crocodiles, Imagery, TurtlesTurtle Cavalry
- Onward, alligator steed!
- Animals, JokeThe Dead Rabbit
- The Dead Rabbit, aka The Worst Joke Ever…
- PoliticalOrdering Pizza In The Year 2025
- Ordering pizza in the year 2025…
- Internet, RisquéCybersex How-Not-To
- Cybersex how it should not be…
- Imagery, Odin, PoliticalVote Odin
- The left wing said they’d abolish poverty; right wing said they’d abolish bureaucracy. Odin said he’d abolish ice giants. Where are the ice giants? Vote Odin!
- Risqué, Sexist, WorkSentence Structure: Why Sentence Structure Is Important
- Sentence Structure: Why sentence structure is important.
- ImageryWill Not Load Fully
- This picture will not load fully!
- Food, ImageryThrowing People
- A tomato’s fear.
- Clowns, Imagery, Risqué, Sex, WomenShe Made That Clown Extremely Happy
- She made that clown extremely happy.
- Doctors, HospitalsFinding Information In Hospital
- A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph’s Hospital…
- Imagery, Ipad, IphoneFree IPhone To IPad Upgrade
- Free iPhone to iPad Upgrade
- Birds, Imagery, RavensWhere Have You Been All Weekend?
- Where have you been all weekend? Out Raven.
- Imagery, Phones, SmsChosen One
- I’m the chosen one…
- America, Congress, Imagery, It Crowd, PoliticalCongress: Have You Tried Turning It Off And On Again?
- Congress: have you tried turning it off and on again?
- Animals, Imagery, Nuclear Power, SpidersSpider Farm
- This seems like a disaster waiting to happen…
- Animals, Fish, ImageryCan February March? No, But April May.
- Can February March? No, but April May.
- Animals, Harry Potter, Horses, ImageryWingardium Levi-horse-a
- Wingardium levi-horse-a!
- Imagery, Kim Jong-un, North Korea, SnickersKim, Eat A Snickers
- Kim Jong-un: I’m going to nuke everyone. Kim, eat a Snickers. Kim: Why? Because you turn into a war mongler when you’re hungry. Better? Kim: Better.
- Religious, Risqué, WorkCorporate Lessons
- Corporate lessons.
- Animals, Cats, Imagery, RacoonsCat Found
- Cat Found. Very aggressive.
- Alcohol, ImageryAlcohol Research
- Bum holding sign “Need Cash for Alcohol Research”.
- ImagerySuperman’s Social Network Nightmare
- Superman’s Social Network Nightmare.
- Imagery, RisquéFingering A Minor
- Fingering A Minor for hours on my bed.
- Apple, Computers, Imagery, Religious, Steve JobsHe’s Gonna Upgrade Your Tablets…
- Moses, meet Steve. He’s gonna upgrade your tablets…
- Risqué, Sexist, ViagraDealing With Hunger Pangs
- A woman asks her partner at breakfast time, “Would you like some bacon and eggs a slice of toast and, maybe, some grapefruit juice and coffee?”
- Food, Imagery, TurkeyRoast Turkey With A Doll Head
- I was watching TV when I head my Dad in the kitchen laughing to himself. When I got up to see what he was doing, I walked in on this…
- Chinese, Imagery, Newspapers, SubmarinesHiding Submarines
- China may be using sea to hide its submarines
- Banks, ImageryI Was Going To Make A Joke About A Bank, But Then I Lost Interest…
- I was going to make a joke about a bank, but then I lost interest…
- Imagery, Shirts, TshirtsAttention Deficit Disorder
- Ask me about my attention deficit disorder or pie or my cat. A dog. I have a bike. Do you like TV? I saw a rock. Hi.
- Risqué, SexistThe Perfect Password
- A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, the computer advised him that he would now need to enter a password…
- ☺100 Guidelines On Becoming An Evil Villain
- World domination is everyone’s dream. It’s not a bad job really…
- Imagery, Nietzsche, ReligiousNietzsche Is Dead
- God is dead” ~Nietzsche / “Nietzsche is dead” ~God.
- Animals, Beaches, Imagery, Signs, Stingrays, WarningsShuffle Your Feet For Stingrays
- Shuffle your feet for Stingrays: One of the many dangers in Australian waters.
- Animals, Imagery, ZebrasI Love You Zebra
- Bite marks are love notes written in flesh. I love you zebra.
- Imagery, Risqué, SexistGrow Some Balls
- Why do people say ‘grow some balls’?
- Imagery, RisquéJelly Orgy
- A jelly orgy.
- Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Linux, Mac, WindowsUpdate Available
- An update is available for your computer…
- Imagery, MoviesNeville
- Neville would have done it in four books.
- Aerodynamics, Aeroplanes, ImageryAerodynamics Simplified
- How planes fly.
- Knock Knock, PolicePolice: Knock Knock
- Police: Knock Knock. Me: Who is it? Police: It’s the police.
- Animals, Animated, Hamsters, ImageryHamster Flying
- How to make your hamster fly…
- Apple, Computers, Flash, Geeky, Imagery, MacMacintosh
- Mac Hater…
- Australia, PoliticalPsalm 2009 – 2012
- The First Book of Government.
- Books, ImageryMystery Books
- You have to find them first…
- Alice In Wonderland, Imagery, Movies, SexistUltimate Chick Flick
- Ultimate chick flick: Two women fighting over a pair of shoes
- Daleks, Dr Who, Food, Garlic, Imagery, TvGarlek
- Garlek.
- Great Expectations, ImageryGreat Expectations
- Who hurt you? My own expectations.
- France, Germany, Imagery, RacistAngela Merkel Arrives At Passport Control At Paris Airport…
- Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control at Paris airport. “Nationality?” asks the immigration officer. “German,” she replies. “Occupation?” “No, just here for a few days.”
- Canada, Imagery, Protests, RiotsCanadian Riots
- Canadian Riots: Sorry to bother you, but perhaps you should take a break as our mayor?
- Animals, Cats, Imagery, Snow, SnowballsThe Cat & The Snowball
- The Cat & the Snowball.
- Bananas, Food, Imagery, SuicideSuicidal Bananas
- A collection of suicidal bananas.
- Advertising, Billboards, ImageryThere Are Two Rules For Success
- There are two rules for success: Never reveal everything you know…
- Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Pie ChartsTime Breakdown Of Modern Web Design
- The breakdown of modern web design.
- Evolution, Imagery, SexistThe Evolution Of Man And Woman
- The Evolution of Man & Woman…
- ImageryPositive For Coke
- You’re fired Jack, the lab results just came back and you tested positive for Coke.
- Medical, RisquéKeep Off The Grass
- A Nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothes, entered…
- Imagery, RisquéThe Exact Spot My Zipper Broke
- The exact spot my zipper broke.
- Illusion, ImageryTwelve Or Thirteen?
- Wait until the group changes position. Is it twelve or thirteen?
- Imagery, SexistEscape From The Kitchen
- You thought you could escape from the kitchen didn’t you?
- Australia, Games, Imagery, Logan, Monopoly, RacistLogan Monopoly
- Logan Monopoly…
- Animals, Animated, ImageryLesson Of The Day
- You should never do anything wrong, it will catch up with you…
- Advertising, Feminine Hygiene, Imagery, Sexist, VintagePlease, Dave… Please Don’t Let Me Be Locked Out From You!
- Please, Dave… please don’t let me be locked out from you! For complete feminine hygiene rely on Lysol – a concentrated germ-killer!
- ImageryBatman Downsized
- Batman forced to downsize with increase in petrol prices…
- Africa, Animals, Imagery, Lions, SafarisShould I Tell Them I’m Here?
- Should I tell them I’m here?
- Geeky, ImageryDelete Cookies
- Delete cookies?!
- Horror MoviesIf You Are Lonely, Dim All Lights
- If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you’re alone anymore.
- Imagery, Nigerians, Racist, ScamsRich Nigerians
- Nigerian man dies and authorities find billion in his apartment…
- Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, SexistDream Girl
- Girl on beach with six breasts.
- Children, Parenting, Risqué“Hi Honey. This Is Daddy. Is Mummy Near The Phone?”
- Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mummy near the phone?
- Accidents, Buses, Imagery, Rivers, Wildlife DocumentariesA Wild Bus Drinking Water
- And here we see a wild bus drinking water from a river.
- ☺Idiots
- Idiots everywhere…
- Animals, Imagery, Spiders, ZombiesZombie Apocalypse Spider
- I laugh at your claims to bravely take on a zombie apocalypse, when most of you can’t stand up to a spider.
- Imagery, RacistHas One Night Stand
- Has one night stand, but way too many books to fit on it.
- Advertising, Cocaine, Drugs, Imagery, Toothache, VintageCocaine Toothache Drops
- Cocaine Toothache Drops: Instantaneous Cure! 15¢.
- Imagery, RisquéFlower Porn
- Even flowers do it…
- English, GrammarIf Your A Grammar Nazi
- If your a grammar nazi and your reading this your gonna have a bad time.
- Famous People, Imagery, Movie StarsReese Witherspoon
- Reese Withoutherspoon.
- English, GrammarParaprosdokians
- Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.
- Geeky, InternetUsing AOL? Mind If We LOL?
- Using AOL? Mind if we LOL?
- Mayans, Movies, Predictions, The Hobbit, TolkienMayans Predicting The Hobbit Movie
- Keep calm. The Mayans were simply counting down to The Hobbit movie.
- Apple, Imagery, Ios, Ios6, TransportApple IOS6 Maps
- For the benefit of passengers using Apple iOS6, local area maps are available from the booking office.
- Babies, ImageryResisting A Rest
- If I refuse to nap… is that resisting a rest?
- Business Cards, ImageryYou Have A Nice… Business Card
- A business card: “You have a nice… {day, ass, attitude}.
- Animals, Carrots, Food, Imagery, Rabbits, VegetablesSuccess Is Not Always What You See
- Success is not always what you see…
- Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, Nokia, PhonesIPhone 5 Plus Versus Nokia 3310
- iPhone 6 Plus versus Nokia 3310: Does it bend?
- Facebook, InternetFacebook Farm
- A dying granny tells her granddaughter, “I want to leave you my farm…
- Aliens, ImageryFunniest Alien Fan Art I’ve Seen
- Funniest Alien Fan Art I’ve Seen.
- ImageryProof That Not Knowing Everything Is The Best Way To Go
- Proof that not knowing everything is the best way to go.
- Dinosaurs, Imagery, Political, SpyingIf You’re Not Doing Anything Wrong, You Shouldn’t Have Anything To Hide
- The government says “If you’re not doing anything wrong, you shouldn’t have anything to hide.” If that is true, shouldn’t the government declassify everything?
- Imagery, Internet, SwordsSwords Of The Centuries
- Swords of the Centuries
- ☺Dear Thigh Fat
- Help the needy?
- Communist, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, SoftwareCommunist Traitor
- It looks like you’re a Communist traitor…
- SexistA Love Story With A Happy Ending
- Once upon a time, a bloke asked a girl “Will you marry me?”
- Imagery, Phones, Sms, SmsLost Phone
- A man sends SMS from a lost phone…
- Australia, Coronavirus, Political, Politicians, Scott MorrisonConfirmed Case Of Corona
- Hey babe, just thought you should know there’s a confirmed case of corona in our neighbourhood…
- Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, VintageDormeyer Crying Wives
- Wives: Look this ad over carefully. Circle the items you want for Christmas. Show it to your husband. If he does not go to the store immediately, cry a little…
- Imagery, Newspapers, TechnologyAll This Technology Is Making Us Antisocial
- All this technology is making us antisocial: A tram full of people ignoring each other and reading the newspaper.
- Hippies, Imagery, ShirtsPassive Agressive Hippie
- Passive Agressive Hippie: You want a [peace sign] of me?
- Art, Geeky, ImageryNational Portrait Gallery
- National Portrait Gallery. National Landscape Gallery…
- SexistMars Vs. Venus
- Mars versus Venus…
- Alcohol, Holidays, Imagery, WineHoliday Workout
- Holiday Workout: Three corkscrews.
- Imagery, Rallies, Sexist, WomenWhat Women Want
- Who are we? Women! What do we want? We don’t know! When do we want it? NOW!
- Books, Imagery, Lance Armstrong, LibrariesLance Armstrong Fiction Books
- All non-fiction Lance Armstrong books including “Lance Armstrong: Images of a Champion”, “The Lance Armstrong Peprformance Program” and “Lance Armstrong: World’s Greatest Champion” will soon be moved to the fiction section.
- Chewing Gum, Imagery, WarningsDo Not Swallow Chewing Gum
- Warning: Do not swallow chewing gum!
- Computers, Geeky, ImageryKeyboards
- Amusing Keyboards
- America, Guns, RacistWhat Do You Call A Gun Enthusiast?
- You may have heard on the news about a Southern California man who was put under 72-hour psychiatric observation when it was found he owned 100 guns and allegedly had 100,000 rounds of ammunition stored in his home…
- Animals, Elephants, Imagery, RisquéElephant Upskirt
- Elephant Upskirt.
- Funerals, Imagery, Italian, RacistThe Italian Funeral
- Pasquale died. His will provided ,000 for an elaborate funeral…
- ImageryBest Way To Freak Out Your Friends
- Best way to freak out your friends: Do not open unless you plan to kill it (written on an upside down container)
- Arthur C Clarke, Astrology, QuotationsI Don’t Believe In Astrology
- I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re sceptical.
- Babies, Drinking, Imagery, Studying, The RockWhat Are Your Plans For The Weekend?
- What are your plans for the weekend? Studying. [shocked look] Drinking! Drinking!
- Animated, Illusion, ImageryTwo Person Optical Illusion
- Optical illusion: Keep your eyes on the cross, and see what happens.
- Bikes, Imagery, NoticesBicycles Chained To These Railings Will Be Removed Without Notice.
- Bicycles chained to these railings will be removed without notice. This is a notice, you idiot!
- Imagery, SexistHair Dryer
- Darling, please give me the hair dryer…
- Crocs, Imagery, Shoes, WeddingsWedding Crocs
- Wedding Crocs.
- Elderly, Hearing Aids, ImageryExpensive Hearing Aid
- A man was telling his neighbour, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.”
- Animated, Illusion, Imagery, Impossible Triangle, Penrose TrianglePenrose Triangle
- Penrose Triangle Animation.
- Imagery, MotivationalSomeone Out There Cares
- I want you to know that someone out there cares. Not me, but someone does.
- Animals, Cats, ImageryI’m Glad You’re Up
- I’ve put all of your folded shirts on the floor for you.
- Imagery, Music, Musical Instruments, Sex, Violence, ViolinsSax And Violins
- Warning: This image contains sax and violins. Viewer discretion is advised.
- Accidents, Food, ImageryMilkshake Meets Door
- A woman runs into a door carrying two milkshakes.
- Australia, Democracy, Imagery, Political, RisquéAmazing Holes
- Amazing Holes from Around the World.
- Illusion, ImageryWhat Kind Of Sorcery Lets These Two Blocks Be The Same Color?
- One is dark, one is light. One is gray, one is white. These are obviously two different blocks with two different colors right? Wrong. The two blocks are the same color.
- AlcoholCalm Living
- I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me today, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives.
- Animals, ImageryWireless Technology
- “It is a bit freaky with this wireless technology”
- Homework, Imagery, SchoolSelf Referencing Homework
- What has been your greatest accomplishment so far?
- Fire, Fire Extinguishers, ImageryFire Extinguisher Fire
- Fire Extinguisher Fire: What do you do now?
- Sexist, WorkDon’t Copy If You Can’t Paste
- Don’t copy if you can’t paste…
- Geeky, Imagery, MeditationGeek Meditation Session
- In your mind’s browser, clear your cache… now delete your history… now navigate to a blank web page…
- Angry Birds, Animals, Australia, Birds, Computer Games, ImageryAngry Birds Australia
- Angry Birds Australia…
- English, GrammarEnglish
- Let’s face it - English is a crazy language.
- Bankruptcy, Divorce, Imagery, LiquorBankruptcy, Divorce, Liquor
- Bankruptcy, Divorce, Liquor.
- Geeky, ImageryDied
- …from not forwarding that text message to 10 people.
- Drugs, Food, ImageryEminem Drug Bust
- Eminem Drug Bust.
- Animated, Flash, Geeky, ImageryL33t H4x0r H4ml37
- Tales for the L33T PATR TOO - HAMLET
- ☺The World’s Shortest Books
- The World’s Shortest Books
- Animals, Boobs, Bras, Cats, ImageryBooby Trap
- Nooo! It’s a booby trap!
- Buses, Bus Stops, Harry Potter, Hogwarts, ImageryBus To Hogwarts
- To get the bus to Hogwarts, please run directly at this sign.
- Australia, Coronavirus, Imagery, Political, Politicians, Scott MorrisonA Visual Representation Of Scott Morrison’s Address To The Nation
- A visual representation of Scott Morrison’s address to the nation tonight
- Animals, Dieting, DogsPurina Diet
- The Purina Pet Food Diet.
- Advertising, Imagery, Men, Sexist, SignsThis Year Thousands Of Men Will Die From Stubbornness…
- This year thousands of men will die from stubbornness. No we won’t.
- Bogans, Imagery, Iphone, SpeakersBogan Bass
- Bogan Bass: Yet somehow still better than Beats by Dr Dre.
- PhrasesWhen Someone Yells “STOP”…
- When someone yells “STOP”, I never know if it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammertime, or I should collaborate and listen…
- Animals, Imagery, Johnny Depp, Movie Stars, SpidersI’m Really Afraid Of Johnny Depp
- Research shows that if you’re afraid of spiders, you’re more likely to find one in your bedroom. I’m really afraid of Johnny Depp.
- Illusion, ImageryHinton’s “Lilac Chaser”
- The Dotty Illusion…
- Actors, Famous People, Imagery, Movie Stars, Robert De NiroRobert De Niro, De Faro
- First Robert De Niro, then Robert De Faro.
- Imagery, ScissorsI Run With Scissors
- I run with scissors: It makes me feel dangerous.
- Babies, Imagery, PregnancyHow Babies Are Made
- How babies are made (with an air pump).
- Imagery, Political, Politicians, Prostitutes, RisquéHonest Politician
- Hi! I’m 32. I’m a politician and I’m honest. Hi. I’m 29, I’m a prostitute and I’m a virgin.
- Australia, History, RacistA Brief History Of Australia
- Australia was founded in 1901 by Jimmy “Crocodile” Austral, a deportee of England who was banished for cannibalism, having eaten 32 members of the House of Lords. In accordance with English colonial law, this entitled him to an entire already-inhabited continent.
- SexistA Woman’s Wish
- A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods…
- Beer, SexistA Beer Before It Starts
- A man came home from work, sat down in his favourite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, “Quick, bring me a beer before it starts”…
- Duct Tape, Imagery, WorkEmergency Bridge Repair Team
- Duct Tape: Good for anything.
- CatsHappy Pussy
- A collection of amusing cat pictures.
- Adobe, Geeky, Imagery, UpdatesAdobe Updates
- I don’t always have an update…
- PoliticalPolitically Correct Primer
- A politically correct primer.
- Cars, SexistHow To Change Your Oil
- How to Change your Oil: A guide for men & women…
- Anatidaephobia, Animals, Ducks, ImageryAnatidaephobia
- Anatidaephobia is the fear that somewhere in the world, there is a duck watching you.
- Imagery, Money, Monopoly, StrippersMonopoly Money For Fake Boobs
- I think it’s only fair to throw monopoly money at strippers with fake boobs.
- Marriage, Religious, Sexist, WivesGood & Obedient Wives
- And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world…
- Babies, Cars, Imagery, StickersBaby On Board
- Baby on Board
- GeekyUnusual EBay Feedback
- A+++! Would read this amusing page again…
- Imagery, Notices, Paper, SignsPaper Says Yes
- Would you like a little piece of paper that says yes to hang onto during the tough times ahead? (Maybe it will help)
- Elderly, MemoryElderly Memories
- An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen…
- Computers, GeekyUnix Commands
- Amusing UNIX commands.
- Geeky, ItNetwork Truths
- The Twelve Networking Truths.
- Animated, Fighting, Imagery, WweThrown Out Of The Ring
- Thrown out of the Ring.
- Clippit, Imagery, Microsoft, Office, Paperclips, WorkIt Looks Like You Are Wasting Office Supplies. Would You Like Some Help?
- Clippit: It looks like you are wasting office supplies. Would you like some help?
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryHide Yo Kids!
- Hide yo kids! Hide yo wife!
- Coffee, Hipsters, Imagery, SignsHow Did The Hipster Burn His Tongue?
- How did the hipster burn his tongue? He sipped on his coffee before it was cool.
- Imagery, WifiBasic Human Needs
- Basic human needs… like Wi-Fi.
- Flash, ImagerySteady Hand – A Game Of Skill
- A game of skill, requiring a steady hand and keen eye – make sure you play at least the first two levels…
- Babies, ImagerySpot The Baby
- Spot the baby. No, the other one.
- Football, Relationships, Sexist, SportThe Loving Husband
- A man had two of the best tickets for the opening State of Origin match. As he sits down, another man comes along and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him…
- Capitalism, Imagery, PoliticalSuffering From Capitalism
- Feeling sad and depressed? Are you anxious? Worried about the future? Feeling isolated and alone? You might be suffering from Capitalism.
- Facebook, Imagery, RisquéFacebook Sex
- Taking status updates too far.
- SexistMen’s Rules
- We always hear the rules from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side…
- Animals, DogsTalking Dog For Sale
- A man sees a sign outside a house – “Talking Dog for Sale.”
- Imagery, SexistHow Could You Be So Insensitive?
- How Could You Be So Insensitive? This is what it looks like from the other person’s perspective.
- Geeky, RisquéEUNUCH Programmer's Manual - CONDOM(1)
- The EUNUCH Programmer's Manual - CONDOM(1)
- Animals, Cats, Ducks, Imagery, SeagullsCat Duck
- The Amazing Cat Duck! Or perhaps Cat Seagull?
- Bananas, Food, Hats, ImageryBanana Hat
- Banana hat…
- Animated, Geeky, Imagery, PhotoshopAdobe Photoshop CS6 Has Stopped Working
- The realest photography struggle ever…
- Animated, ImagerySpiderman
- If Spiderman was a gay night-clubber…
- Bread, Food, Imagery, TonguesPlease Use Tongue.
- Do not touch bread with hands. Please use tongue.
- ImageryButtons
- Lots of buttons…
- Accidents, Helmets, Imagery, Jamaica, Motorbikes, Risqué, SexistWhat’s The Main Reason For Motorbike Accidents In Jamaica?
- What’s the main reason for motorbike accidents in Jamaica?
- Imagery, Jobs, WorkHonesty: Your Greatest Weakness
- Interviewer: What would you consider to be your greatest weakness?
- Cars, Drugs, Imagery, PoliceHow High Are You?
- How High Are You? No Officer, it’s “Hi, how are you”.
- Dating, Imagery, Relationships, SexistAnd Then I Said
- And Then I Said… The Differences Between Boys & Girls.
- Grammar, SpellingYou Read That Wrong
- That awkward moment when you read that wrong…
- Illusion, ImageryCrazy Sphere
- A crazy sphere
- ImageryApostrophe, Catastrophe
- Apostrophe, Catastrophe.
- Books, ImageryScary Campfire Stories: Book Style
- And then… after they had ripped out half of her pages… they turned her… into a movie!
- Helpline, Imagery, Phones, YogaYoga Emergency Hotline
- Yoga Emergency Hotline, how may I help you?
- Imagery, Music, Rap, Rock, SignsRap Loses To Rock
- Rap is like scissors, it always loses to rock.
- Animals, Cats, ImageryJust Wait Until I’m Fully Charged
- Just wait until I’m fully charged…
- Food, Imagery, WorkKikkoman When He’s Down
- Your boss called to say you’re fired. So I bought your favourite soy sauce…
- Angels, Imagery, Red Bull, SculpturesRed Bull Gives You Wings
- Red Bull Gives You Wings.
- Imagery, Kitchens, Sexist, WomenFor Too Long The Voice Of Women Has Been Silenced
- For too long the voice of women has been silenced. It’s time they had microphones in kitchens.
- Food, Imagery, RisquéCarrot Love
- When carrots get kinky…
- Africa, Imagery, RacistEvery 60 Seconds In Africa
- Every 60 seconds in Africa… a minute passes.
- SexistMen Are Happier
- Men are Happier: What do you expect from such simple creatures?
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryDog Poo Bin
- If your dog does a poo please put it in a litter bin.
- PoliticalAbbott And Costello Go To Washington
- Abbott And Costello Go To Washington.
- George Bush, Imagery, Iran, Political, Weapons Of Mass Destruction, WmdI Can’t Believe The “WMD” Trick Is Working Again With Iran
- I can’t believe the “WMD” trick is working again with Iran. Suckers…
- Animals, Imagery, RabbitsWhat Rabbits Do
- What rabbits do when humans go out…
- Animals, Cars, Cows, Drunk, ImageryDrunk Cows
- Drunk Cows: Bruce you are drunk.
- Cars, ImageryGarage Door Covers
- Amusing garage door covers
- Bill Gates, Imagery, Mario, North Korea, Star Wars, WinrarThe Good Guys Of The World
- These are the Good Guys of the World.
- Alligators, Animals, Crocodiles, ImageryHow To Tell Alligators And Crocodiles Apart
- It’s not that difficult to tell alligators and crocodiles apart…
- Geeky, JokesIP Jokes
- I’d tell you a UDP joke, but you may not get it.
- Imagery, SmsBack From The Dead
- Woo, it’s me! Back from the dead!
- Cake, Ikea, ImageryHappy 25th Birthday IKEA!
- Happy 25th Birthday IKEA! Here’s your cake
- Chat, Imagery, InternetChat Rooms
- Chat Rooms – you never really know.
- Facebook, Imagery, NewspapersReal Life Facebook
- I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles…
- Cars, Imagery, MessagesThe 710 Cap
- Hun I have a problem in my car…
- Babies, Imagery, InstructionsBaby Instructions
- Some useful instructions to keep baby alive and well…
- Imagery, Reincarnation, WoodReincarnation Gone Horribly Wrong
- Reincarnation gone horribly wrong
- Animals, Imagery, SpidersLet’s All Take A Moment And Be Thankful That Spiders Don’t Fly.
- Let’s all take a moment and be thankful that spiders don’t fly!
- Animals, Animated, Australia, Emus, Imagery, KangaroosKangaroo Kicks Boy
- A kangaroo kicks an unsuspecting boy into a dam while an emu strolls past.
- Imagery, Toilet PaperToilet Paper
- A piece of toilet paper saving another piece…
- America, Animals, Australia, Britain, Cows, India, Irish, PoliticalYou Have Two Cows
- The eponymous cows is used to demonstrate the advantages and flaws of certain economic systems.
- Animals, Imagery, SealsThe Seal Of Approval
- The Seal of Approval…
- Adoption, Babies, ImageryAdopted Baby
- Dude, I’m joking, you are not adopted!
- Blonde, Imagery, SexistBlonde Geometry
- Attached is problem 3 on a geometry examination…
- Cars, Computer Games, ImageryLegend Of Zelda
- A legend… of Zelda.
- Geeky, ImageryCaps Lock
- A visual representation of the use of caps lock.
- Clothes, Hats, Imagery, TiesYou Hang Around, I’ll Go On Ahead
- You hang around, I’ll go on ahead.
- Cars, Imagery, MosquitosA Mosquito With A Helmet
- Mosquitos flying towards a car.
- Accidents, Animals, Cats, Imagery, LaddersHumans Don’t Land On Their Feet
- Gee you’re right, humans don’t land on their feet.
- Boats, Fishing, Imagery, Logan, RacistFishing, Logan Style
- Fishing, Logan Style.
- ImageryI See Dumb People
- I see dumb people… They are everywhere!
- Animals, Crocodiles, ImageryCrocodile Lion
- An interesting dinnertime story…
- Imagery, TattoosFree Tattoo Removal
- Free (and perhaps painful) tattoo removal.
- Imagery, SocksThe Divorce Rate Among My Socks Is Astonishing.
- The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.
- America, Guns, ImageryHow To Sneak Chocolate Into An American Movie Theatre.
- How to sneak chocolate into an American movie theatre.
- Credit Cards, Genies, Imagery, Sexist, WomenIrresistible To Women
- Make me irresistible to women
- Cars, ImageryHonked At A Prius
- Honked at a Prius, scared the crap out of it.
- Illusion, ImageryAfterburn - Whom Do You See?
- Relax and concentrate on the four small dots in the middle of the picture…
- Brisbane, Imagery, Logan, Racist, WoodridgeSimba & Woodridge
- But what about that shadowy place?
- Imagery, Michael Jackson, Performers, SingersMichael Jackson Is Dead
- You Can Come Out Now…
- Computers, Geeky, ImagerySpeed Reader
- Wow you read that fast! You must be a speed reader!
- Australia, Condoms, New Zealand, Racist, RisquéKiwi Condoms
- Australia runs out of condoms…
- Atoms, Imagery, SignsDo Not Trust Atoms
- Do not trust atoms. They make up everything.
- Food, Imagery, Pasta, TrucksPasta Truck
- A pasta truck, or a very large pasta.
- English, ImageryLike If You Can Raed Tihs
- Like if you can raed tihs whit no porlqebm baecuas yuor jsut taht sarmt.
- Fans, Metal, MusicMetal Fan
- What kind of music do you like? I am a huge metal fan. Me too!
- GeekyHuman Hotfix
- Hotfix Patch for Humans released.
- Daleks, Doctor Who, Geeky, RobotsWhat Would Robots From The 1960's…
- What would robots from 1960’s and 1970’s TV say today with current software installed?
- Children, Grace, PrayersSix Year Old Praying
- A mother invited some people to dinner…
- ImageryLegoland Will Never Be The Same...
- Legoland will never be the same…
- Chinese, Imagery, Racist, Tattoos, WomenIf Chinese People Tattooed Lame English Words On Themselves…
- If Chinese people tattooed lame English words on themselves…
- Alcohol, Animated, Fire, Imagery, Racist, Russia, SneezingIn Russia People Sneeze Fire
- In Russia people sneeze fire after drinking lots of vodka.
- ImageryElephant Bone
- …just to confuse future archaeologists.
- Coronavirus, Gynaecology, ImageryVisiting Your Gynaecologist During Coronavirus
- Visiting your Gynaecologist during Coronavirus
- Animals, Imagery, SharksFlying Sharks
- Flying sharks… we’re screwed.
- Animals, JokePygmy Dinosaur Hunter
- The Pygmy Dinosaur Hunter…
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryHow The Hell Is The Ball Still In Your Hand?
- How the hell is the ball still in your hand?
- Mechanics, UnderwearAlways Wear Underwear
- Always wear underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle…
- GeekySpellcheck Not Needed
- Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy…
- SexistPerfect Riddle
- Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met…
- Geeky, Imagery, RomanceRoses Are #FF0000
- Roses are #FF0000, Violets are #0000FF.
- Cameras, Cannons, Imagery, NikonI Have A Cannon
- You have a Nikon? I have a Cannon.
- Imagery, WorkHorse Whisperer
- A very amusing workplace complaint.
- Comics, Dancing, Imagery, Ireland, Irish, Irish DanceThe Book Of Irish Dance: Volume Two
- Whilst doing a long overdue clearout at the offices of Ireland’s oldest and most respected school of dance, Mrs O’Hara made a terrible discovery…
- Imagery, Potatoes, Vegan, VegetablesVegan Potatoes
- Vegans are evil…
- Guns, Imagery, ToastToast Toasts Toast?
- If guns don’t kill people, people kill people, does that mean…
- Computer Games, Imagery, SexistThe Way Girls Play Computer Games
- The way girls play computer games.
- Asian, Facebook, Imagery, RacistHumans Of Sunnybank
- In Asia culture, it’s important for wife to trust husband and let him be the leader in the house. That’s why after I am married, I will always leave big decision to him – for example, choosing between buy me a Chanel for birthday or go sleep on sofa for a whole month instead.
- Imagery, Risqué, SexistThe Lift
- A man and woman meet outside an elevator door…
- Bones, Imagery, SkeletonsThe Average Human Body Contains Enough Bones
- The average human body contains enough bones to make an entire human skeleton.
- Apple, Computers, Geeky, Linux, Mac, WindowsHow To Fix Any Computer
- A comprehensive guide to fixing any computer.
- Animals, Cats, Imagery, WorkI Used To Smile… Until I Worked Retail.
- I used to smile… until I worked retail.
- Money, Quotations, SchwarzeneggerHaving More Money Doesn’t Make You Happier
- Having more money doesn’t make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I’m just as happy as when I had 48 million.
- Einstein, ImageryYou Matter
- You are living, you occupy space, you have a mass… you matter.
- Police, RisquéPanties
- Policewoman: Anything you say will be taken down!
- Art, Imagery, RenaissanceYou Weren’t Even Listening Just Now, Were You?
- You weren’t even listening just now, were you? What a weird way to start a conversation.
- Cycling, Drugs, SportI Think It Is Just Terrible And Disgusting How Everyone Has Treated Lance Armstrong
- I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he achieved, winning seven Tour de France races while on drugs. When I was on drugs, I couldn’t even find my bike.
- Animals, Imagery, RisquéHow To Eat Pussy…
- How to eat pussy…
- America, Democracy, PoliticalHow To Know When You’ve Met A Democrat
- Just in case you have trouble knowing when you’ve met a Democrat…
- Imagery, PoliticalMad Magazine’s Boy Grows Up
- The boy from Mad Magazine morphing into George Bush.
- Babies, Children, Daycare, Imagery, Logan, RacistLogan Daycare
- Logan Daycare: Just for the whole day
- Animals, Birds, Chickens, Imagery, MarriageMarriage: Before & After (Chicken Style)
- Marriage: Before & After (Chicken Style).
- Animals, Elephants, ImageryIt’s Just One Of Those Days
- A baby elephant falls in the mud.
- Farmers, Imagery, Men, Swimming, WomenThe Clever Old Man
- One evening an old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond…
- Animals, Horses, Imagery, SeahorsesSeahorse
- I’m a seahorse. Your argument is invalid.
- BabiesA Baby’s Laughter Is One Of The Most Beautiful Sounds You’ll Ever Hear
- A baby’s laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you’ll ever hear. Unless it’s 3 AM, you’re home alone, and you don’t have a baby.
- Comics, Education, ImageryUnused Diploma.
- I’d like to return this. It’s unused. This is your diploma. Cash is fine.
- Imagery, ShipsA Ship Shipping Ship Shipping Shipping Ships.
- A ship shipping ship shipping shipping ships.
- Animals, Imagery, SlugsFeeling Sluggish
- I’ve been feeling a bit sluggish…
- Eggs, ImageryEscape Egg
- Counting down the days to escape…
- Food, ImageryWurst Nightmare
- Hi. I’m your wurst nightmare.
- Guitars, Imagery, MusicFree Air Guitars
- Christmas Gift Ideas: Free Air Guitars.
- Facebook, Imagery, MoneyHow To Make Money From Facebook
- How to make money from facebook: 1) just go to “Account Settings”; 2) Press “Deactivate your account”; 3) Go to work.
- Illusion, ImageryThey See Us Rollin’
- They See Us Rollin’… We Aren’t…
- Cats, Imagery, MailboxesMailman Jumped 15 Feet
- Mailman jumped 15 feet. Dog was right. This is fun.
- Balloons, Hot Air Balloons, ImageryHot Air Balloons
- Hot Air Balloons - Boring 99% of the time.
- Imagery, Mafia, RecruitersRecruiters Are One Step Above The Mafia
- Recruiters are one step above the Mafia…
- RisquéSanta’s Stressful Christmas
- Santa’s Stressful Christmas
- Girls, Imagery, Moon, Photography, Sexist, Space, WomenWent To The Moon, Took 5 Photos. Went To The Bathroom, Took 37 Photos.
- Went to the moon, took 5 photos. Went to the bathroom, took 37 photos.
- America, Cia, Cocaine, Coke, Drugs, ImageryCIA: We Put The Coke In America
- CIA: we put the coke in America.
- America, Coronavirus, Imagery, Political, Presidents, TrumpInject Yourselves With Disinfectant!
- Inject Yourselves with Disinfectant!
- Animals, Birds, Imagery, SeagullsSomebody Come Look At This
- Somebody Come Look at This
- America, Bear Arms, Constitution, Democracy, Imagery, Second AmendmentThe Second Amendment: The Right To Bear Arms
- The second amendment gives Americans the right to bear arms. I think many have taken this out of context.
- SexistMen Are Like...
- Men are like…
- Cpr, First Aid, Imagery, SchoolCPR Diagram
- You’re next!
- Australia, Gillard, PoliticalPatriotic Retirement Plan
- Ms Gillard’s Patriotic Retirement Plan.
- Animals, Imagery, SealsSeal The Deal
- What do you say we go behind this rock and seal the deal?
- Animals, Bunnies, Imagery, RabbitsEmo Bunny
- Emo bunny: No one ever understands him
- Animals, Imagery, SharksSharks Are A Lot Friendlier Without Pointy Teeth
- Sharks are a lot friendlier without pointy teeth.
- Imagery, Topgear, TvIs There Anything Worse Than A Lego For Stepping On In The Middle Of The Night?
- Is there anything worse than a Lego for stepping on in the middle of the night? A landmine.
- Cars, ImageryAbove The Law Like A Boss
- Above the law like a boss: removing a wheel clamp.
- Dishes, ImageryDishes
- Dishes: They don’t do themselves.
- Australia, SexistAussie Men
- Aussie men… struggling with the booze…
- Aeroplanes, Aircraft, Imagery, WarRequesting Air Support
- Requesting Air Support! “Believe in yourself. You can do it!”
- Animals, Penguins, SleepIf Penguins Have Knees
- 3 out of 4 voices in my head want to sleep (the other wants to know if penguins have knees!)
- Imagery, Risqué, SignsPlease Use Finger
- Pen is broken - please use finger.
- Beer, ChartsBeer Troubleshooting Chart
- Beer Troubleshooting Chart.
- Astronauts, Coronavirus, Imagery, Nasa, SpaceCoronavirus Space Crew
- Congratulations, your mission is now complete. You may return to Earth.
- Animals, Bikes, Frogs, Imagery, Kermit The FrogWrong Way
- Wrong Way
- Advertising, Clothing, Fashion, Imagery, SexistWhy Men Die Before Women
- Why men die before women.
- Imagery, StoneNothing Is Written In Stone
- Nothing is Written in Stone…
- Illusion, ImageryConfused Carpentry
- A Carpenter’s Nightmare.
- Coronavirus, Cruises, Face Masks, Imagery, Sunbathing, SunburnJust Back From Our Cruise. Had A Great Time.
- Just back from our cruise. Had a great time.
- Imagery, Sexist, Tv, WomenCooking Shows
- If we watched cooking shows the way guys watch sports.
- Computer Games, Computers, ImageryPlay Outside
- It’s a beautiful day. I really want you to go outside and play.
- Calendars, Comics, Imagery, MayansThe Mayan Calendar
- I only had enough room to go up to 2012…
- ImageryTimes Have Changed
- An image from an operating manual for the SAGE air defense system
- Imagery, PiracyPiracy Is Not Theft
- Imagine your car gets stolen, but it’s still there in the morning.
- Imagery, Police, ProtestsPolice & Protesters Help Fat Man Remove Pants
- Police & Protesters help fat man remove pants…
- Imagery, TvThinking Outside The Square
- A sideways television.
- Geeky, Imagery, Movies, Star WarsStar Wars
- A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…
- Animals, Imagery, PigsBacon Seed
- Bacon seed.
- Animals, Cows, ImageryA Cow Getting A Back Scratch
- A cow getting a back scratch.
- Animals, Imagery, JokeThe World’s Funniest Joke
- The World’s Funniest Joke…
- JokesComplimentary Pretzels
- A guy walks into a bar and takes a seat. Before he can order a beer, the bowl of pretzels in front of him says “Hey, you’re a handsome fellow.”
- Fonts, Imagery, Running, Sport, Usain BoltUsain Bold, Usain Italic
- Usain Bolt: Usain Bold, Usain Italic.
- Animated, Coffee, ImageryAnimated Coffee
- Coffee with emotion.
- Imagery, Marriage, Onions, People, ProposingProposing With An Onion
- Proposing with an onion: Guaranteed to cry.
- Imagery, RisquéPremature Ejaculators Anonymous
- Man stating he ‘came too soon’ in front of sign stating ‘premature ejaculators anonymous’.
- Brooms, Imagery, Parking, Sexist, Witches, WomenWomen Can’t Park
- Who said that women can’t park?
- Fruit, Grapes, ImageryBeware The Grapes Of Wrath
- Beware the Grapes of Wrath.
- Boobs, Imagery, Sexist, WomenI Wish These Were Brains
- Sexist, but contains breasts…
- Animals, Bears, Imagery, PenguinsDo One Brave Thing Today
- Do one brave thing today… then run like hell!
- Cooking, Imagery, Smoke DetectorsWhat Smoke Detectors Warn You About
- What smoke detectors warn you about.
- Bacon, ImageryTen Pieces Of Bacon
- If I had 10 pieces of bacon, and you took 4, what would you have? Yes, that’s right you’d have a black eye and a bruised hand.
- Imagery, Psychotherapists, SignsPsycho The Rapist
- Psycho the Rapist It’s one word George!
- Africa, Animals, Imagery, MoviesThe Lion King: Proof At Last
- Pumbaa & Timon…
- Imagery, Tools, Work, ZombiesIn Case Of Zombies
- In case of zombies… or yard work…
- Coronavirus, Hands, Hand Washing, Imagery, WashingRemember To Wash Your Hands!
- My drawing is not great but please remember to wash your hands. Stay safe guys!
- Flash, ImageryVision Test
- Vision Test.
- Coathangers, Imagery, WarningsDo Not Swallow Coathangers!
- Caution: Do Not Swallow Coathangers!
- Children, Families, Imagery, Parenting, SchoolWhen I Grow Up… I Want To Be Like Mommy!
- I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer…
- Redheads, SexistRedheads
- How do you get a redhead…
- SexistGuts Or Balls?
- We’ve all heard about men having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them?
- ImageryHard To Pay Fine
- Touching wires causes instant death…
- PoliticalBush And The Queen
- While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen…
- Animals, Camels, Children, Donkeys, ImageryYour Child Is Being Eaten By A Camel
- Your child is being eaten by a camel. Do you… a) Save your child, or b) Take a photo?
- Batman, Imagery, Superman, WonderwomanIt Is Such A Drag When Someone In The Group Can’t Fly…
- It is such a drag when someone in the group can’t fly… forcing everybody else to have to ride up the elevator too…
- Animated, Flash, Geeky, ImageryL33t H4x0r R0m30 4nd Jul13t
- Tales for the L33T - ROMEO+JULIET
- Imagery, Math, PiWife Of Pi
- He’s irrational and he goes on and on…
- Hunger Games, Imagery, Katniss Everdeen, Kristen Stewart, Movies, Movie Stars, Smiling, TwilightKristen Stewart Smiles
- I don’t always smile, but when I do, I don’t.
- Fans, ImageryThank You To All My Fans
- Thank you to all my fans
- ImageryWhat Is A Sonofabitch?
- What is a sonofab*tch, exactly?
- Cats, Comics, ImageryPop Out Of Bed
- If people were meant to pop out of bed we’d all sleep in toasters.
- Dogs, ImageryMy Dog Bailey Tried To Steal Stuff Out Of My Daughter’s Purse.
- My dog Bailey tried to steal stuff out of my daughter’s purse. He got stuck and came over to me for help.
- Animals, Apples, Cats, Imagery, MathSeven Cats
- If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?
- ImageryKermit Sees The Doctor
- Have a seat Kermit. What I’m about to tell you might come as a big shock…
- Alligators, America, Animals, Australia, Bears, Birds, Crocodiles, Europe, Imagery, Moose, Puma, Rabbits, Sharks, Snakes, SpidersMost Dangerous Animals
- How people in the colonies are still alive is beyond me…
- Imagery, Sexist, WomenFeminine Instincts
- If a girl ever pulls out a knife on you during an argument, pull out some bread and mayo. Her feminine instincts will kick in and she’ll make you a sandwich.
- Illusion, ImageryMoving Illusion
- A psychedelic illusion where a brightly coloured non-moving image appears to be pulsating in and out.
- Bras, Imagery, UnderwearSupport Bras
- Supportive support bras…
- Jokes, Pool, Puns, Sport, TreesWhat’s Green, Fuzzy, And If It Fell Out Of A Tree It Would Kill You?
- What’s green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?
- Animals, Cats, Glasses, ImageryBut These Are For Girls
- But these are for girls… Holy Crap! I look fabulous!
- Board Games, ImageryMarry Me
- Scrabble Edition.
- Imagery, Injuries, Sexist, SportMen & Women In Sport
- Women: No problem girls… I can go on. Men: Ahhhh! I’m dying.
- Chess, Feminists, Imagery, Sexist, WomenHow To Play Chess
- How to Play Chess: Whites go first. The Queen must protect the King.
- Computers, Imagery, InternetNew Mail
- 10 years ago…
- Imagery, Numbers, Star WarsWhy Was Five Afraid Of Seven?
- Why was Five afraid of Seven? Because Six Seven Eight.
- Animals, Imagery, KangaroosI Said Be Quiet! Don’t Make Me Come In There!
- I said be quiet! Don’t make me come in there!
- Imagery, Phones, SmsStreet Name
- Hey, what’s your street name?
- Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryCat: The Dog Went Missing
- Cat: The dog went missing? Hahaha! Hahaha! I’m sorry human. Hahaha… no seriously, I’m so sad…
- Imagery, Jail, Logan, RacistI’m From Logan
- I killed a man. You? I’m from Logan.
- Animals, Cats, Imagery, SignsHelp Cat Neds Air
- Please don’t let the cat out. No matter what it tells you!
- Bikes, Geeky, It, SexistAn IT Student Is Walking Along With His Bike…
- An IT student is walking along with his bike…
- Cars, Imagery, Time TravelAnnual Meeting Of Time Travellers
- Annual Meeting of Time Travellers.
- Alcohol, Animals, Dogs, Imagery, Skateboards, Smoking, WineBad Dog Is Banned From The Park
- I don’t know who this dog is or why he is banned from this park, but he certainly seems like a lot of fun.
- Geeky, JokesIntellectual Jokes
- Believing this statement will make you happier.
- English, Grammar, QuotationsAmusing Quotes & One-Liners
- Amusing Quotes & One-Liners.
- Children, Dating, Imagery, Internet, RisquéLittle Kid Lover
- I’m signing up for an online dating service. I just need to pick a username. “Little Kid Lover”, that way people will know where my priorities are at.
- Animals, Beds, Dinosaurs, ImageryT-Rex Making A Bed
- When you’re upset just imagine a T-Rex making a bed.
- Cars, ImageryFail Towing
- Thank You for Using Fail Towing, Inc.
- Blonde, SexistBlonde Betting
- A very attractive blonde woman arrived at a Vegas casino…
- Animals, Drugs, ImageryFlying Ants
- How ants began to fly…
- Acronyms, Imagery, Iphone, PhonesIDK LY TTYL
- IDK LY TTYL: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later.
- SexistEx Wife
- The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my ex-wife…
- Imagery, Risqué, SignsNo Public Motor Boating Permitted
- No public motor boating permitted.
- Coronavirus, Imagery, Video Conferencing, Work, ZoomCoronavirus Zoom Conference
- Zoom Conference: Can everyone hear me?
- America, Britain, Political, Queen Elizabeth Ii, Queens, Racist, RoyaltyA MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN
- A message to the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.
- Cars, Computer Games, Geeky, ImageryGamers: The Mentality
- Objects in mirror are losing.
- Animals, Bears, Guns, ImageryWhat Is The Smallest Calibre You Trust To Protect Yourself?
- I remember one time while hiking with my girlfriend in northern Alberta and out of nowhere came this huge brown bear charging us, and was she mad!
- ☺Notice
- Notice is hereby given…
- Explosions, Guns, ImageryTold Her Not To Brag About Her Barbie Dream House…
- Told her not to brag about her barbie dream house…
- Animals, Drugs, Imagery, RabbitsHigh Rabbits
- Two rabbits getting high on marijuana.
- ☺Got To Love Drunk People
- >A man, and his wife are awakened at 3 o’clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door…
- England, Imagery, UkAnarchy In The UK
- Would you like some tea?
- Animated, Chris Coutts, Flash, Imagery, No Effort OnlineChris Coutts: No Effort Online: There’s Something About Osmethne
- Chris Coutts: No Effort Online flash animations
- Animals, Cars, Donkeys, ImageryA BMW Donkey
- A BMW donkey. Not much more to be said really.
- Imagery, StovesCool Stoves
- Cool Stoves
- Alcohol, Imagery, SexistLet’s Go For A Drink…
- Goldstar Beer Ads: What goes through the mind of men and women when they’re asked to go for a drink…
- Accidents, Cars, Imagery, TrucksThe Road To Success
- On the road to success, there are no shortcuts…
- Epilepsy, Imagery, PostersSeize The Day
- Seize The Day: Sign up for the Epilepsy Awareness Walk.
- Acid, Animals, Cats, Cocaine, Coffee, Drugs, Heroin, Imagery, Marijuana, Mushrooms, Shrooms, WeedDrug Cats
- An illustrated cat-guide to drugs…
- Animals, Imagery, WhalesThe Hey Whale
- The Hey Whale. It defies description.
- Imagery, PinterestIf You Like It Then You Shoulda Put A Pin On It
- If you like it then you shoulda put a pin on it!
- Animals, Animated, Imagery, PenguinsPenguin Falls
- Penguin falling on ice.
- Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, Microsoft OfficeMicrosoft Office Suite Pass Key
- Does anyone have an extra Microsoft Office suite pass key?
- Bras, Imagery, New Zealand, Racist, Risqué, SportThe All Blacks Bra
- Introducing the New Zealand All Blacks Bra. All the support, but no cup.
- Africa, Animals, Bikes, ImageryUpsetting The Food Chain
- A zebra on a motorbike…
- Bathrooms, Imagery, SignsYou Look Fine
- Instead of a mirror, a sign “you look fine”.
- Advertising, Food, Fountain, Imagery, Tomato Sauce, WoolworthsBuy Two & Receive A Free Fountain Face!
- Buy two and receive a Free Fountain Face!
- Animals, Chocolate, Easter, Easter Bunnies, Imagery, RabbitsJust Some Bunny That I Used To Know
- Now you’re just some bunny that I used to know.
- Alcohol, Imagery, Irish, RacistIrish Yoga
- Irish Yoga.
- Imagery, Logan, Racist, RisquéIn Logan
- Meanwhile… in Logan…
- Canada, RacistAn Ontarian Wanted To Become A Newfie…
- An Ontarian wanted to become a Newfie…
- Cars, Imagery, Italy, Racist, Risqué25 Year Old Escort
- But Mr. Berlusconi, you said, “Send a 25 years old escort to my villa!”
- Animals, Chickens, Chicks, ImageryHow To Pick Up Chicks
- Instructional guide on how to pick up chicks.
- Bob Hope, Imagery, Johnny Cash, Kevin Bacon, Steve JobsDon’t Let Kevin Bacon Die
- 20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have No Cash, No Hope and No Jobs. Please don’t let Kevin Bacon die.
- Accidents, Aeroplanes, Imagery, LuggageClosing Airline Luggage Doors
- Closing Airline Luggage Doors.
- Geeky, ImageryOhm
- …ohm.
- Imagery, Keith Urban, MusiciansKeith Urban Accepted As Genuine Humanoid
- Clint Felmingham: Did you know? Keith Urban is accepted by many Americans as a genuine humanoid/musician. Urban, a polymer composite (90% polyethene, 8% alcohol, 2% minor celebrity), was manufactured in Caboolture, Australia in 1987..
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryFridge Magnets
- Well, tell me, Randy. Has someone eaten all the refrigerator magnets again?
- Drawings, Imagery, SignsDraw Bridge
- A man drawing a bridge at a “draw bridge” sign.
- Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, Lotr, PizzaBrace Yourself. Pizza Is Coming.
- Brace Yourself. Pizza is coming.
- ImageryBribing Santa
- Dear Santa, if you leave a new bike under the tree, I will give you the antidote to the poison I put in the milk.
- Imagery, Risqué, SexistInteresting ATM
- Man using a sexually provocative ATM.
- Food, ImageryPeanut Delivery
- Peanut Delivery…
- Animals, Animated, Dogs, Imagery, TonguesDog Tongue
- A dog with a very long tongue.
- Food, Imagery, ThymeToo Much Thyme On My Hands
- I’ve got way too much tyme on my hands.
- History, ImageryThe Most Difficult Thing To Explain To Someone From The 1950s
- If someone from the 1950s suddenly appeared today, what would be the most difficult thing to explain to them about life today?
- Imagery, Phones, Risqué, SexPhone Sex
- Phone Sex. You’re doing it wrong.
- France, Imagery, North Korea, RacistFrance Surrenders To North Korea
- France surrenders to North Korea
- Animals, Boats, Fish, Fishing, ImageryGive A Man A Fish And He Has Food For A Day
- Give a man a fish and he has food for a day. Teach a man to fish and he has to buy bamboo rods, graphite reels, monofilament lines, neoprene waders, creels, tackleboxes, lures, flies, spinners, worm rigs, slip sinkers, offset hooks, gore-tex hats, 20 pocket vests, fish finders, depth sounders, radar, boats, trailers, global positioning systems, coolers and six-packs.
- Imagery, SpicesSeasons Greetings
- Seasons Greetings
- Cars, Geeky, TechnologyCars And Computers
- General Motors doesn’t have a help line for people who don’t know how to drive because people don’t buy cars like they buy computers, but imagine if they did…
- Cars, ImagerySideways Car
- It’s a little confusing…
- Cars, ReligiousRoad Rage
- Two cars were waiting at a stoplight. The light turned green, but the man didn’t notice it…
- Imagery, WaterThe Deadly Facts About Water
- The Deadly Facts about Water
- Blogs, Grammar, Imagery, SpellingMisspelt Blog Post
- You wouldn't think anyone reads my blog. I haven’t got a comment in weeks. Misspell something…
- Birth Control, Imagery, RisquéEffective Birth Control
- The most effective birth control method known to man.
- Animals, Bread, Dogs, Food, ImageryBread Dog
- The Amazing Bread Dog.
- Doorbells, Imagery, Logan, RacistLogan Doorbell
- To ring door bell, connect wires.
- Comics, Imagery, Movies, WorkPopular Sayings #38
- Dress for the job you want, not the one you have.
- Imagery, SexistWoman With PMS
- Woman with PMS.
- Image, Qut, UniversityQUT: University For The Real World
- Will we find intelligent life?
- Animals, Halloween, Imagery, SquirrelsHalloween Squirrel
- A squirrel got its head stuck in a Halloween decoration and terrified a neighbourhood…
- Animals, ImageryHow Dishwashers Really Work
- How dishwashers really work…
- Political, ReligiousThe 10 Commandments
- The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse or parliament…
- Animated, Babies, Fireworks, ImageryFirst Time Seeing Fireworks
- A baby sees fireworks for the first time.
- Breakfast, ImageryHow Did You Get In My House?
- If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple “Thank you” is all I need. Not all this “How did you get in my house?” business.
- Animals, Imagery, RaccoonsGet Well Soon
- A raccoon lies dead on the road, holding a “get well soon” balloon.
- Imagery, Political, Snowden, Spying, WikileaksEdward Snowden Buys A Plane Ticket From Moscow To Havana…
- Snowden buys a plane ticket from Moscow to Havana. Over 30 journalists pay last-minute airfare for a ticket on the same flight. The doors shut, the plane takes off, and [Edward] Snowden is not on the plane. It’s a 16-hour flight.
- Jewish, RacistBacon Tree
- Back in cowboy times, a westbound wagon train was lost and low on food…
- Animals, Imagery, WhalesPaper, Scissors, Whale!
- Scissors cut paper again! I hate this game…
- ImageryMcDonald’s Reaches Africa
- McDonald’s reaches Africa.
- Africa, Animals, Cats, Imagery, Lions, TouristsThe Best Photo Caption
- A western woman in Africa—presumably a tourist—squats to go to the toilet in the bush, pants down, toilet paper in hand, her backpack in the grass nearby; unaware a lion is sneaking up behind her. Captioned “if she hasn’t… she will soon”.
- Bikes, Imagery, PostsHave You Seen This Post?
- Have you seen this post? He didn’t.
- Einstein, Imagery, Phones, TechnologyThe Day Einstein Feared
- The day that Einstein feared may have finally arrived.
- Children, Parenting, SportChild Beating
- A seven year old boy was at the centre of a courtroom drama…
- ImagerySense
- …this picture makes none.
- Emoji, Imagery, Phones, SmsEmoji
- Alien blood transfusions are illegal for ghosts, but beach chickens win!
- Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, Shoes, VintageWhere She Belongs
- Keep her where she belongs…
- Dates, ImageryMay The 4th Be With You
- If today is “May the 4th be with you” does that mean tomorrow is “revenge of the 5th?”
- Animals, Dogs, Imagery, Phones, SmsTexts From My Dog
- My dog sends me texts…
- Animals, Imagery, LlamasGet In The Llama
- No time to explain! Get in the llama…
- Bottles, Imagery, Messages, UsbModern Day Message In A Bottle
- A USB stick in a bottle lying on the beach.
- Boats, Imagery, Rowing, WarRow Row Row Your Boat
- Row row row your boat. Shut up Carl.
- America, Animals, Australia, Birds, Eagles, Imagery, RacistAmerican Bald Eagle Vs Australian Wedge Tail Eagle
- American Bald Eagle vs. Australian Wedge Tail Eagle.
- Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery, SexistXBOX Girlfriend
- A real girlfriend does not complain when her boyfriend is on his xbox…
- Joke, RisquéJam And Butter The Muddy Plasters, The Dirty Bucket Of Pitch!
- Jam and butter the muddy plasters, the dirty bucket of pitch!
- Clouds, Computers, Imagery, TechnologyWhat Are Clouds Made Of?
- Daddy, what are clouds made of?
- Centrelink, Imagery, WineDrinking A Nice Wine
- Drinking a nice wine while listening to classical music…
- ImageryBefore Tweeting
- In case of fire: Exit building before tweeting about it.
- Animals, Cats, ImageryAbercrombie & Cat
- Abercrombie & Cat
- Imagery, NinjasNinja Exit
- Ninja Exit Only
- RisquéMickey Mouse
- One day, Mickey Mouse decided that he wanted a divorce…
- Animals, Golf, Imagery, Sport, TurtlesWorld’s Largest Golf Ball
- World’s largest golf ball. Gigantic turtle for scale.
- Accidents, Cars, Imagery, Seatbelts, SexistNew Seatbelt Design: 45% Less Car Accidents!
- A man driving a car while a woman sits beside him, with her seatbelt across her mouth, preventing her from commenting.
- Comedians, Comedy, Grammar, Hitler, Imagery, JapanOne Thing Led To Another
- I hate when you’re reading something and you come across the phrase “one thing led to another”
- Animals, Birds, Imagery, Notices, Parrots, SignsParrot BBQ
- Parrot Lost: Parrot BBQ!
- Bikes, Brisbane, Citycycle, Imagery, UnicyclesFrom The Minds Who Brought You CityCycle — UniCycle.
- From the minds who brought you CityCycle — UniCycle. Brisbane’s brightest idea yet.
- Illusion, ImageryRound Illusion
- Unusual round illusion.
- Beer, Imagery, SexistYou Never Listen To Me…
- You never listen to me! You only hear what you want to hear!
- Cars, Computers, GeekyMicrosoft Car
- Microsoft and General Motors on the Automobile.
- Cars, Imagery, Movies, Pulp Fiction, The RockHave You Seen Pulp Fiction?
- Have you seen Pulp Fiction? Yeah, but I didn’t like it.
- Sexist, WomenWords Women Use
- Words women use, and what they really mean.
- Stress, WorkStress Management
- A stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological texts.
- Droids, Imagery, Star WarsLook, Sir. Droids!
- These are not the droids you are looking for.
- Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, PhonesIPhone 6 Comparison
- iPhone 6 Plus Comparison.
- Imagery, Steve IrwinDoesn’t Protect From Harmful Rays
- Puts on sunblock. Doesn’t protect from harmful rays.
- Comics, Imagery, VeganI Am Going Vegan
- I am going vegan
- Flying, Imagery, SportFlying – Because Golf Only Takes One Ball
- Flying – because softball, baseball, football, basketball, soccer, bowling and golf only take one ball.
- Animals, Imagery, Iphone, PhonesIt’s A Whale
- How do you have any friends…
- ImageryHoliday House
- The Holiday House
- Australia, Cars, Floods, Imagery, MechanicalDunno Mate, Maybe She’s Flooded?
- Dunno mate, maybe she’s flooded?
- Imagery, SchoolUnprepared For An Exam
- Ever gone into an exam having not studied at all?
- Australia, Democracy, Political, RacistThe Ant And The Grasshopper
- The Original Story of the Ant and the Grasshopper.
- Animals, Bugs, Flies, Imagery, Joke, MitesHey, Bug On My Back…
- Hey, bug on my back, are you a mite? I mite be. Stupidest pun I ever heard…
- Business Cards, Geeky, Imagery, Notepad, WindowsNotepad Business Card
- A business card styled to look like Windows Notepad.
- Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, PhonesIPhone 6: Bend It Like Beckham
- iPhone 6: Bend it like Beckham.
- Apple, Imagery, Iphone, PhonesUpgrade Kit For IPhone 4 Owners
- Upgrade kit for iPhone 4 owners. Only 99¢.
- Board Games, Games, ImageryGroup Therapy
- …is not going to make Q any less of a hated letter.
- GeekyHow Many Does It Take...
- How many forum posters does it take to change a light bulb?
- Cartoons, Comics, Imagery, MoviesThe Bat Cave
- The location of our Bat Cave is meant to be secret, so stop checking in!
- Animals, Beavers, Birds, Cats, Dogs, Fish, Frogs, Horses, Imagery, Puns, Rabbits, ZebraPunny Animals
- Who ever invented the “knock-knock jokes” should get a no-bell prize!
- Geeky, InternetGoogle
- Try Google. Available in six of the world’s most common languages…
- SexistPunctuation Is Powerful.
- Punctuation is powerful.
- Imagery, Mexico, RacistMexico’s National Sport
- What is Mexico’s national sport? Cross country.
- Aboriginal, Australia, RacistAboriginal Spongebob Spotted In Cairns
- Aboriginal Spongebob spotted in Cairns.
- Food, ImageryBreakfast Alive
- What happens if you wait too long before eating your breakfast?
- English, GrammarYour There
- They’re they are.
- Alcohol, Food, Imagery, VodkaVodka Diet: Lose 3 Days In 1 Week
- Vodka Diet: Lose 3 Days in 1 Week.
- Guns, ImageryCrayon Gun
- A fantastic gun made from many every-day items.
- Bananas, Cars, Food, ImageryGet In The Banana
- No time to explain. Get in the banana!
- Animals, Elephants, Imagery, Kenya, ZoosMan & Elephant
- In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Louisiana State University…
- English, Grammar, Imagery, School, TeachersGrammar Vandal
- When English teachers snap: Sorry Ma’am, but bad grammar is no excuse for vandalism.
- Artists, Justin Bieber, MusiciansDear Justin Bieber Haters
- I owe my life to Justin Bieber…
- Animals, ImageryWhat Animals Dream...
- What animals dream.
- Christian, Imagery, Jewish, Muslim, RacistAn Atheist, A Jew, And A Christian Walk Into A Bar…
- An atheist, a Jew, and a Christian walk into a bar…
- Political, SchoolMath Instruction
- At Heathrow Airport today…
- Alcohol, Beer, Fitness, ImageryI Wonder What I Would Look Like With A Six Pack?
- I wonder what I would look like with a six pack? Ahh, much better!
- Birds, Imagery, WifiHe’s Got Wifi
- Three birds sitting on a wire, a fourth sitting in mid air. He's got wifi.
- Geeky, Imagery, Ninjas, Pirates, ZombiesSurvival Tracking Guide
- The Pirate, the Ninja, & the Zombie…
- Animals, Imagery, RacistBlack Bears
- Uh oh Howard. Looks like this area has black bears…
- Animals, Imagery, Seals, SharksDo Not Consume If Seal Is Broken!
- Do not consume if seal is broken!
- Advertising, Apple, Computers, Geeky, Imagery, MacMac Weed
- A take-off of the Apple Macintosh switch ads.
- Children, Parenting, SchoolLetter To A Mother / School Report
- It is with great happiness that I’m telling you that I eloped with my new boyfriend…
- Darth Vader, ImageryBreathe Right
- Darth Vader going for some Breathe Right.
- Afghanistan, RacistInvestment Opportunity
- Investment Opportunity. Thought you might want to consider getting on board early.
- Imagery, Musicians, Rolling Stones, ZombiesZombies!
- Zombies! Oh, wait… false alarm, it’s just the Rolling Stones… carry on!
- Awards, Imagery, Jobs, Roads, WorkThe Winner Of The “Not My Job” Award
- The Winner of the “Not My Job” Award goes to…
- Accidents, Cars, Imagery, TargetMissed Target
- Missed Target: So close…
- America, Imagery, North Korea, Obama, RacistNorth Korea: I Will Destroy America
- North Korea: I will destroy America! Obama: Too late!
- Animals, Business, Dogs, ImageryAssistant Branch Manager
- The Branch Manager and the Assistant Branch Manager.
- Sexist, WomenWhen A Woman Says “what?”
- When a woman says “what?”, it’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
- Cars, Gardens, ImageryMajor Tom’s Ground Control
- Major Tom’s Ground Control Lawn and Garden Management.
- Australia, New Zealand, RacistAn Aussie Taxidermist In New Zealand…
- An Aussie Taxidermist in New Zealand…
- Game Shows, TvAmusing Hollywood Squares Answers
- Amusing Hollywood Squares Answers.
- Accidents, Cars, ImagerySorry: A Bus Accident
- Sorry: A Bus Accident
- ☺Out Of Breath
- Dispatcher: Emergency Services, how may I help you?
- SexistCIA Assassin
- The CIA had an opening for an assassin…
- Education, Imagery, School, TeachersExplain These Bad Grades
- 1969: A child’s parents blame him for his bad grades. Today: A child’s parents blame his teacher for his bad grades.
- Apple, Computers, Imagery, Phones, Religious, Steve JobsI Have An APP For That!
- Steve Jobs, 1955 – 2011.
- English, GrammarBipolar Awesome
- English can be weird. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
- ImagerySuper Batman
- The Super Batman back pack, exclusive from China!
- Advertising, Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Phones, TechnologyIPhone 10 – The Tallest IPhone Yet
- A mock-up of the iPhone 10, after the launch of the “taller” iPhone5.
- Easter, Eggs, ImageryDye Job
- Check out the dye job on her? Tramp!
- Imagery, Jokes, ScrabbleScrabble Jokes
- I accidentally swallowed some scrabble tiles… My next dump could spell disaster.
- Imagery, Winnie The PoohPooh Everywhere
- Watch your step, there’s pooh everywhere!
- Animals, Imagery, SealsSeal This Opening
- I was told to seal this opening, so here I am.
- Cars, ImagerySomething Wrong Officer?
- Something wrong officer?
- SexistCelibacy
- Many aspects of human sexuality are very puzzling…
- Animals, Cats, Imagery, Mayans, PredictionsWorst Apocalypse Ever
- [A grumpy cat the day the Mayan calendar ended] “Still Here. Worst Apocalypse Ever.”
- Babies, ImageryDraw Fake Eyebrows On Your Baby
- Draw fake eyebrows on your baby. Then sit back and enjoy the humour.
- Dyslexia, Imagery, Sex, Shirts, TshirtsI Have Sex Daily
- I have sex daily! I mean dyslexia! Fcuk.
- AustraliaText Of A Letter From A Kid From Eromanga To Mum And Dad.
- Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad.
- Imagery, SignsAlways Give 100%
- Whatever you do always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.
- Animals, Dogs, ImagerySo We Got Pugsy A New Chew Toy…
- So we got Pugsy a new chew toy…
- Imagery, TurtlesA Wee Turtle
- A wee turtle…
- Animals, Birds, Chickens, Imagery, Rock And RollChook Heavy Metal Guitarist
- A heavy metal guitarist chicken
- Irish, Racist, ReligiousAn Irish Daughter Had Not Been To Her Parent's House For Over Five Years...
- An Irish daughter had not been to her parent’s house for over five years…
- Animals, Chickens, Eggs, Imagery, SignsBoneless Chicken
- Boneless Chicken
- Animals, Cats, Cockroaches, Dogs, Imagery, Men, WomenThe Circle Of Life
- The Circle of Life: Who is afraid of who?
- ToysThe Horror Of Blimps
- Some blimps are better off dead…
- ImageryStatistics That Matter: The Pie Chart
- A new take on the traditional pie… chart.
- Bananas, Food, Imagery, SausagesBanana Sausage
- Banana sausage…
- Imagery, Signs, SpringSpring Is Here. I’m So Excited I Wet My Plants!
- Spring is here. I’m so excited I wet my plants!
- Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery, TechnologyCombo Hit: Streetfighter Style
- Combo Hit: Streetfighter Style
- Art, Imagery, Michelangelo, Paintings, Reenactment, Sistine ChapelMichelangelo: The Re-enactment
- A re-enactment of Michelangelo’s famous “The Creation of Adam”.
- Australia, France, Imagery, Racist, RisquéAustralian Kiss
- Australian Kiss: same as a French Kiss… but down under.
- Animals, Giraffes, Imagery, SpidersGiraffe Spider
- A giraffe spots a spider…
- WorkPhysical Fitness
- This department requires no physical fitness program.
- Imagery, RocksOrders From A Rock
- [On a rock] Turn me over. You just took orders from a rock.
- Imagery, RisquéSave Paper
- Save paper…
- Animals, ImageryJust Checking
- “Just doing a spot-check to see what you’re doing… Yup, sitting at your computer again!” The expression on this ostrich’s face is excellent.
- Biology, Imagery, MathBiology, Multiplication And Division
- Biology – the only science where multiplication and division mean the same thing…
- Animals, Cats, Imagery, SmsCat Facts
- Thanks for signing up for Cat Facts!
- America, Guns, Imagery, Police, RacistAnd I Was All Like, Pew Pew Pew!
- And I was all like, pew pew pew! Pew pew pew! ‘Merica!
- Imagery, Unicorns, Unicycles, UnitardsUnicorn, Unitard, Unicycle
- Unicorn in a unitard on a unicycle.
- ImageryAwkward Moment
- The awkward when you already said “moment” in your head before you read it.
- Animals, Cats, DogsCats And Dogs
- As seen in a dog’s diary…
- English, VegetablesThe Correct Way To Spell Potato
- The correct way to spell potato is “GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU”.
- Imagery, Math, SchoolI’ll Just Be A Stripper.
- Screw this: I’ll just be a stripper.
- Computers, GeekyMessage From Your IT Deptartment
- Message from your IT Deptartment…
- Bananas, Food, George Bush, ImageryThis Banana Tastes Funny
- “This banana tastes funny” – George Bush.
- Apple, Bill Gates, Computers, Heaven, Imagery, Microsoft, Phones, Religious, Steve Jobs, WindowsSteve Jobs & Bill Gates Discuss Heaven
- Steve Jobs & Bill Gates Discuss Heaven: It doesn’t have any wall or fence…
- Alphabet, Games, ImageryAlphabet Game
- The Alphabet Game is a car game played to amuse travellers on long car rides.
- Geeky, ImageryBlackboard
- School kid writing Code on blackboard as punishment.
- Animated, ImageryA Teaser
- You must stare very closely at the door in this image for around 30 seconds…
- Bsod, Geeky, Microsoft, WindowsBSOD: Blue Screen Of Death
- The dreaded blue screen of death…
- Bananas, Carving, Food, Guns, Imagery, WeaponsBanana Gun
- Banana gun…
- Computers, Imagery, Passwords, TechnologyNew Password Can’t Be Old Password
- Enter password. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong…
- ImageryFurniture Training
- Furniture training for one of their main purposes in life…
- Accidents, Imagery, Logan, Racist, WindowsLogan Repair
- Another quality repair job by Logan City Council.
- Board Games, Imagery, SexistWomen’s Monopoly
- By a man…
- Animals, Cats, Imagery, MetallicaMettalicat
- Mettalicat: Sleeps with one eye open, gripping his pillow tight.
- Babies, Imagery, RisquéI Will Deprive You Of Sex
- I will deprive you of sex all night with my crying and then suck on your wife’s tits in the morning.
- Advertising, Cigarettes, Imagery, Risqué, Sexist, VintageBlow In Her Face
- Blow in her face and she'll follow you anywhere.
- Computer Games, ImageryVideo Games Don’t Make Us Violent – Lag Does!
- Video games don’t make us violent – lag does!
- Boats, Imagery, IslandsBoat! Land!
- Boat! Land!
- Animals, Cats, Geeky, ImagerySchrödinger’s Cat
- Wanted: Dead & Alive…
- Babies, ImageryWomb Service
- Hello, Womb Service? I’d like a double order of hot wings…
- Imagery…and So It Was.
- It’s a Bird! It’s a Plane!
- Buildings, Jokes, Physicists, PunsA Physicist Sees A Young Man About To Jump Off The Empire State Building
- A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building…
- Imagery**** I Forgot To Turn Off The Oven
- **** I forgot to turn off the oven.
- ImageryTrapped Miners
- The first photo of the trapped miners…
- Redneck, TechnologyTechnology For Country Folk
- Technology for Country Folk.
- Ice Cream, ImageryI Scream Cone
- I Scream Cone.
- America, English, Imagery, RacistEnglish (Traditional) And English (Simplified)
- English (Traditional) and English (Simplified).
- English, Grammar, ImageryComforting A Grammar Nazi
- When comforting a grammar nazi, I always say softly, “there, their, they’re”
- Animals, Cars, Driving, Imagery, KoalasDon’t Worry I’m Koalafied To Drive
- Don’t worry I’m Koalafied to drive.
- Geeky, ItDeclaration Of A Software Professional
- Declaration of a Software Professional.
- Imagery, SexistWomen: Yes, No, Maybe…
- I think I have that women-talk all figured out…
- Apple, Computers, Decals, Imagery, Laptops, Mac, Macbook, Stickers, TechnologyCreative Apple MacBook Stickers
- A collection of creative Apple MacBook stickers & decals.
- Animals, Cats, ImageryCat Bag
- It’s a cat bag. Not too sure what else to say about this…
- Earth, ImageryHeld Hands Around The Equator
- If the human population held hands around the equator, a significant portion of them would drown.
- Australia, Imagery, Nsw, PolicePoliceman’s Ball
- A young woman was pulled over for speeding. A NSW Police Officer walked to her car window flipping open his ticket book. She said “I bet you are going to try and sell me a ticket to the Policeman’s Ball.” He said, “NSW Police don’t have balls.” There was a moment of silence. Then he closed his book, tipped his hat, and got back in his patrol car and left!
- Blonde, Cars, SexistBlondeStar
- What to do when you’re locked inside your car, and the keys are outside…
- Imagery, Iphone, Phones, Romance, SmsThe Modern Day Romantic
- Goodnight my beautiful girl I’m so lucky to have you in my life. I love you so much <3
- Imagery, RisquéToo Long
- Her: Do you want to her a joke about my vagina? Nevermind… you’ll never get it! Her: Do you want to her a joke about my vagina? Nevermind… you’ll never get it!
- Australia, Football, Imagery, Muslim, Racist, SportWell, I Guess We’ll Beheading Home Now
- Well, I guess we’ll beheading home now…
- Animals, ImageryUsed Cows
- Used Cows for Sale.
- Imagery, SexistBefore And After...
- Before and after marriage…
- Imagery, Men, SexistMen Have Feelings Too!
- Men have feelings too! For example, we feel hungry.
- Australia, Cooking, God, Imagery, KitchensIn God’s Kitchen
- In God’s Kitchen: What are you cooking?
- ReligiousCommon Belief
- The belief that there was nothing…
- Mayans, PredictionsMayans Predicting The Future
- Calm down… If the Mayans were good at predicting the future, there would still be Mayans.
- Geeky, Imagery, TechnologyBack-Up
- Image of man backing-up with computer.
- Alcohol, Cooking, Imagery, WineCooking With Wine
- I tried cooking supper with wine tonight. Didn’t go so well. After 5 glasses I forgot why I was even in the kitchen.
- Guns, ImageryThe Last Known Picture Taken Of Grandpa
- A woman inadvertently points a gun towards a man.
- Animals, Cats, Imagery, LionsA Cat With A Lion’s Mane Hat
- A cat with a lion’s mane hat.
- Crime, Police, ShootingThe Floor Is Still Wet
- I have an interesting case here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped…
- Cartoons, Food, ImageryChocolate Pudding
- It’s four o’clock in the morning. Why on earth are you making chocolate pudding?
- Cartoons, Fire, Imagery, StairsIn Case Of Fire, Take Stairs
- In case of fire, take stairs.
- Imagery, PhonesPhone Tails
- That’s right dear, our ancestors had tails.
- Boobs, Imagery, RisquéWater Enhanced Breasts
- Water Enhanced Breasts…
- Facebook, Imagery, Sexist, Sport, VolleyballLadies Beach Volleyball
- Just been watching Ladies Beach Volleyball, and there’s already been a wrist injury… but I should be OK by Friday.
- Computer Games, Imagery, MarioIt’s A-me, Mario!
- Mario emerging from a drainpipe.
- SexistMen Vs. Women
- Men versus women…
- InvisibleYou Can See Me?
- Next time a stranger talks to me when I’m alone I will look at them shocked and just whisper quietly, “you can see me?”
- Apple, Imagery, Ios, Ios7, Iphone, Mobiles, PhonesThe New IPhone 5C With IOS 7
- The new iPhone 5C with IOS 7.
- Bananas, Chris Brown, Food, Imagery, RihannaChris Brown & Rihanna Bananas
- I can’t believe she didn’t press charges. It got worse when he posted the unpeeled photos of her.
- WorkHow To Get A Day Off Work
- How to get time off in the public service…
- ImageryLow Battery Warning
- Plug in or find another power source. Or panic now!
- Risqué, SexistMating Bulls
- A man took his wife to the Rodeo and one of the exhibits is that of breeding bulls…
- Animals, Books, Dolphins, Imagery, LibrariesTo Punch A Dolphin In The Mouth
- 5 very good reasons to punch a dolphin in the mouth.
- Facebook, ImageryBe The First Of Your Friends To Like This Post.
- A post with a poster on it, “Be the first of your friends to like this post”.
- Alcohol, ChemistryAlcohol Is A Solution
- Not to get technical but according to chemistry alcohol is a solution.
- Animals, Imagery, SharksShark! What?
- Shark! What?
- Imagery, Metaphors, Star WarsMetaphors Be With You
- Metaphors be with you
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryI Forgot How To Dog
- I forgot how to dog
- Imagery, Iphone, Nokia, PhonesNokia Versus The IPhone
- The strongest phones ever!
- Animated, Chris Coutts, Flash, Imagery, No Effort OnlineChris Coutts: No Effort Online
- Chris Coutts: No Effort Online flash animations
- Cars, Imagery, Irish, RacistIrish Car
- An advertisement in an Irish Newspaper…
- Alcohol, ImagerySlimming Drink
- You look so much better after a glass or two!
- Cosmetics, ImageryPapercut Locator
- Papercut Locator.
- GeekyQ209354 - HOWTO
- How to RTFM…
- New Zealand, RacistKiwi Air Disaster
- New Zealand’s worst air disaster occurred earlier today…
- ☺A Middle-aged Woman Decides To Have A Facelift…
- A middle-aged woman decides to have a facelift…
- Beer, Imagery, Logan, Prams, Racist, Victoria BitterLogan Priorities
- Logan Priorities.
- Food, ImageryLittle Green Balls Of Death
- Little Green Balls of Death
- Advertising, ImageryColgate Dental Floss Advertising Campaign
- Colgate have created an ingenious campaign to promote their dental floss.
- Bsod, Clippit, Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, WindowsWindows
- Windows. Still the most used operating system, and undoubtedly the most abused.
- Imagery, Mistakes, PostersMake Some More Mistakes
- I’ve learned so much from my mistakes… I’m thinking of making a few more.
- Animals, Imagery, Internet, RabbitsStop Surfing The Internet And Just Go To Bed
- Holy crap! Look how late it is! Why do I always do this? Why is it so hard to stop surfing the internet and just go to bed?
- Hats, Imagery, SportYou Can’t Beat Stupid…
- I wish they would invent something to keep the sun out of my eyes…
- Animals, Cats, Egyptians, Hieroglyphics, ImageryAncient Egyptians: Posting Cats To Their Walls Since 3150 BC
- Ancient Egyptians: Posting cats to their walls since 3150 BC
- Imagery, Music, Rock, RocksJust Listening To Some Rock
- Just listening to some rock
- Cartoons, ImageryFor A Good Time
- For a good time, call…
- Corporate, Geeky, ImageryPatent Infringement
- Eating Fruit…
- Imagery, Queensland, WinterI Absolutely Love Winter In Queensland.
- I absolutely love winter in queensland. Last year it was a Wednesday.
- ImagerySound Thug
- Sound Thug
- Animals, Fire, Imagery, SpidersThere Was A Spider, I Panicked
- There was a spider, I panicked. But I think it’s gone now.
- Boobs, Elevators, Imagery, RisquéThis Morning, I Was Beaten Up By A Busy Woman In An Elevator
- This morning, I was beaten up by a busy woman in an elevator. I was staring at her boobs when she said, “would you please press one?”. So I did. I don’t remember much after that.
- Fish, Imagery, MermaidsReverse Mermaid
- You are alone on an uninhabited island. Which of these would you choose as your companion?
- Ballerinas, Imagery, WomenFreshly Washed Ballerinas
- Freshly washed ballerinas.
- America, Capitalist, ImageryIn Capitalist America…
- Bank robs you!
- ImageryBird Flu
- I’m not worried about this bird flu…
- Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, Sexist, WorkJob Application
- Sexist job application.
- Imagery, Motorbikes, SportOh Look, A Penny
- Oh look, a penny!
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryA Little Hand
- I wish you could give me a little hand…
- WorkRejection Response
- The next time you get a rejection letter from a hoped-for employer or publisher, just send them the following…
- Political, RacistLetter To America
- Letter to America
- Africa, Animals, Cars, Elephants, ImageryYou Know You Are Having A Bad Day When…
- You know you are having a bad day when…
- Imagery, RelationshipsA Woman Hid Under The Bed
- To see her husband’s reaction, a woman wrote on a paper: “I left, I’m not coming back.” Hidden under the bed, the woman waited for her husband to arrive. He walked into the room, saw the paper, wrote something on the paper, and put himself to sing, all satisfied. 5 minutes later, he took his cell phone and called someone: “I’m going now. The other nut’s gone. I’m on my way, remember I love you so much” He took the car and left. Mad in anger, the woman comes out under the bed and reads what he wrote… “I can see your feet. I went for bread. Stop being retarded and make dinner…”
- Balls, Illusion, ImageryAll The Balls Are The Same Colour!
- All the balls are the same colour — and that colour is brown
- Imagery, Mobiles, Mouse Traps, Phones, TelstraCustomer Retention
- Free Phone Telstra Style.
- Bipolar, Graffiti, Imagery, SignsBipolar Awesome
- I hate being bi-polar. It’s awesome.
- Apple, Imagery, Ios, PatentsOlden Day Slide To Unlock
- Slide to unlock: Apple patent #1964022.
- Imagery, RisquéAncient Japanese Proverb
- Ancient Japanese Proverb. If you cannot understand Japanese, tilt your head to the right…
- Imagery, Jobs, WorkThings Don’t Really Change
- Interviewer: What would you consider to be your greatest weakness?
- Communist, Computer Games, Geeky, ImageryA Case In Communism: The Super Mario Story
- A Case in Communism: The Super Mario Story.
- Harry Potter, Imagery, Magic, Risqué, WandsReplace The Word “wand” With “dick” In Any Sentence In Harry Potter
- Replace the word “wand” with “dick” in any sentence in Harry Potter…
- Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, SexistAre Those Yours?
- …they’re turning out so big and cute!
- ImageryWhy Women Live Longer Than Men
- Genetics - Why women live longer than men.
- Animals, Boobs, Imagery, SlothsLook At This Boob
- Look at this boob. This is a nice boob.
- RisquéThe Hypnotist
- It was entertainment night at the senior centre and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill…
- Animals, RisquéThe Lone Ranger
- The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an Indian war party…
- Cars, ImageryPolished My Car Too Much
- Polished my car too much, now it’s invisible…
- Animals, Australia, Dangerous, ImageryDangerous Australia
- It’s no wonder we all live here…
- Imagery, Jealousy, Relationships, SmsBaby Are You Jealous?
- Baby are you jealous?
- Australia, Chairs, Disaster, Earthquake, Imagery, MelbourneThe 2012 Melbourne Earthquake
- The 2012 Melbourne Earthquake: We will rebuild.
- Alcohol, Australia, Bob Hawke, Imagery, Oxford, PoliticalBob Hawke’s Yard Of Ale
- While at university at Oxford in 1963, Bob Hawke, former Prime Minister of Australia, entered the Guinness Book of Records here at the Turf Tavern after downing a yard of ale (that’s just over 2½ pints!) in just 11 seconds.
- Asian, Imagery, Iphone, Racist, RiceIf Your Phone Gets Wet, Try Placing It In A Bag Of Rice
- If your phone gets wet, try placing it in a bag of rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you.
- Geeky, ImageryDrowning, LOL!
- If you see someone drowning… LOL!
- America, RacistAmerican State Mottos
- American State Mottos…
- Animals, Birds, Imagery, Owls, RegretsRegrets
- I stay up late every night, and realise it’s a bad idea every morning.
- Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, PhonesIPhone 6 Repair Kit
- iPhone 6 repair kit.
- Australia, Imagery, Racist, Tintin, WynnumThe Adventures Of TinTin: TinTin In Wynnum
- The Adventures of TinTin: TinTin in Wynnum.
- Food, Imagery, Microwaves, ScienceNo Science In This Microwave
- Food only. Absolutely no science in this microwave.
- Apple, Boobs, Fashion, Imagery, Ios, Risqué, ShirtsSlide To Unlock
- A woman wearing a shirt: Slide to Unlock.
- Imagery, SexistIron Man Competition
- Ironman Competition - the way it should be…
- Imagery, Jobs, Pie Charts, Statistics, WorkChance Of Keeping Your Job If You’re Wrong More Than 75% Of The Time
- Chance of keeping your job if you’re wrong more than 75% of the time.
- Animals, Imagery, TurtlesYou’ll Never Be As Happy As This Turtle
- You’ll never be as happy as this turtle.
- Olympics, Racist, SportAthens Olympic Soccer Stadium
- The Athens Olympic Stadium…
- Imagery, Self-help, SexSex Maniac
- Dear Dr Ruth, I’m writing to tell you my problem. It seems I have been married to a sex maniac for the past 22 years…
- Imagery, Movie Posters, PiranhasPiranhas On An Escalator
- If I were you, I’d take the stairs…
- Advertising, Boats, Imagery, Oceans, Oxi-clean, ShipsThe Power Of Oxi-Clean
- The Power of Oxi-Clean.
- Imagery, Signs, WarningsThrew Caution To The Wind
- Looks like someone threw caution to the wind.
- Imagery, PunsThe Highest Form Of Flattery
- Plateaus: The highest form of flattery.
- Imagery, Risqué, SupermanSuper Boner
- Super-boner: A super problem.
- Animals, Giraffes, ImageryLet’s Get You Home Buddy
- Two giraffe having problems getting home.
- Imagery, SexistCall The Rescue Squad!
- I’m sorry dear. I can’t hear you. I’m in the kitchen, making you a sandwich.
- Beaches, Imagery, Irish, SunbathingIrish Girl Sunbathing
- An Irish girl sunbathes…
- Animated, Imagery, MedicalRoot Canal
- Amusing animated image of root canal treatment
- America, Imagery, RacistAmerican Measures
- American Measures: An Arbitrary Retarded Rollercoaster
- Australia, Cricket, Imagery, VideoHow Cricket Looks To Most People
- How Cricket Looks to Most People.
- Fire, ImageryFire Distinguisher
- Fire Distinguisher: Yep, that’s fire…
- Imagery, Memory, Protests, RalliesBetter Memory
- What do we want? Better memory! When do we want it? Want what?
- ☺Fifteen Things To Do At The Supermarket…
- Fifteen things to do at the supermarket while your spouse is taking their sweet time…
- Australia, Condoms, New Zealand, Racist, RisquéAustralian Condoms
- New Zealand runs out of condoms…
- Animals, Bunnies, Chocolate, Easter, Food, Imagery, RabbitsEaster Bunnies
- Chocolate Easter Bunnies: My butt hurts! What?
- America, Imagery, Obama, PoliticalBarack Obama: What I Actually Do
- Barack Obama: What I actually do.
- ShoppingGrocery Shopping On An Empty Stomach
- Accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I’m the proud owner of aisle 4.
- Illusion, ImageryShake Your Head
- Shake your head
- Animals, Australia, Cats, Horse Racing, Horses, Imagery, Jockeys, Melbourne Cup, SportMelbourne Cup Cat Horse
- Melbourne Cup Cat Horse.
- Animals, Cats, Egyptians, God, ImageryHow To Distract An Egyptian God
- How to distract an Egyptian God
- Acrobats, Books, ImageryAcrobat Reader
- An acrobat reader…
- GrammarI. Like. It. How. When. You. Read. This. The. Little. Voice. In. Your. Head. Takes. Pauses.
- I. Like. It. How. When. You. Read. This. The. Little. Voice. In. Your. Head. Takes. Pauses.
- Animated, Flash, Illusion, ImageryIllusions
- Warning: May induce epilepsy or cardiac arrest…
- RisquéTarzan Sex
- When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex…
- Jewellery, Jokes, Puns, RingsSomeone Stole My Mood Ring
- Someone stole my mood ring.
- Imagery, Livestream, Nature, TechnologyLive Stream
- Can I call you back? I’m watching a live stream…
- Animals, Dogs, Imagery, Werewolves, WolvesAware Wolf
- A werewolf. A wearwolf. A warewolf. Aware wolf.
- Animals, Cats, ImageryCat Eats Watermelon
- Cat eats watermelon
- Geeky, MusicWhat If The Beatles Had Been Computer Freaks?
- What if the Beatles had been computer freaks?
- Food, Imagery, PizzaI Just Burned 1500 Calories In About Five Minutes
- I just burned 1500 calories in about five minutes. I forgot the pizza was in the oven.
- Beer, Geeky, Imagery, WorkUltimate Camouflage
- An office beer fridge…
- Agony Aunt, Cheating, Clinton, Dear Abby, Dear Abby, Political, RelationshipsDear Abby, My Husband Is A Liar And A Cheat…
- My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything…
- Animals, Dogs, Driving, Imagery, SexistDog Decides Better Driver
- My wife believes she is a better driver. I let our dog decide.
- Facebook, Imagery, InternetFuture Man
- So you’re saying people will “tweet” what they’re eating for breakfast?
- Aeroplanes, Buses, Cars, Electricity, Firefighters, Imagery, VaccinesRe-Think Vaccines
- Next time someone tells you to re-think vaccines, show them this.
- Advertising, Imagery, Skype, VintageSkype
- Vintage Skype advert.
- Animals, Circuses, Dwarfs, Hippopotamuses, ImageryHippo Eats Dwarf
- A hippopotamus has swallowed a dwarf in a circus accident…
- EnglishThe Gender Neutral Term For Sugar Daddy
- The gender neutral term for sugar daddy is glucose guardian.
- Animals, Cats, ImageryDid You Try Jumping Off The Refrigerator Too?
- Did you try jumping off the refrigerator too?
- Gandalf, Harry Potter, Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, Patrick Stewart, Star Trek, Star WarsHow To Offend Four Groups Of Geeks With One Picture
- How to offend four groups of geeks with one picture.
- Coolers, Imagery, SexistIf A Man Says He Will Fix It, He Will
- If a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months.
- Animals, Dogs, ImageryAchilles’ Heel
- You got a dog?! Yup! His name is Achilles…
- Computers, GeekyMicrosoft Lightbulb Jokes
- Microsoft Lightbulb Jokes.
- Animals, Cupcakes, Food, Imagery, LemursA Lemur Who Has Discovered The Wondrousness Of Cupcakes For The Fist Time.
- A lemur who has discovered the wondrousness of cupcakes for the fist time.
- Animals, Dachshunds, Dogs, Imagery, RacingDachshund Racing
- Googled “dachshund racing”. Was not disappointed.
- Comics, ImageryHorton Hears The Who
- Horton Hears the Who
- Imagery, MathImaginary Friend
- Aww, how cute. He has an imaginary friend!
- ☺Perfect Existence
- Perfect Existence: The Proof
- Cars, ImageryThe Park Anywhere Button
- Self-explanatory really.
- Boats, Burials, Cemetries, Funerals, Imagery, SexistBoat Funeral
- A funeral procession pulled into a cemetery. Several carloads of family members followed a black truck towing a boat with a coffin in it…