Rejection Response — Ned Martin’s Amused

The next time you get a rejection letter from a hoped-for employer or publisher, just send them the following:

Dear name of the person who signed the rejection letter, Thank you for your letter of date of the rejection letter. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment with your firm. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals. Despite name of the co or agency that sent you this letter’s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet with my needs at this time. Therefore, I will initiate employment with your firm immediately following graduation/job change, etc. — get creative here. I look forward to working with you. Best of luck in rejecting future candidates. Sincerely, your name