Barbecue Etiquette — Ned Martin’s Amused
Aussie Barbecue Season
After four long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore, it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking, as it’s the only type of cooking a real man will do—probably because there is an element of danger involved.
When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:
- The woman buys the food.
- The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
- The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill—beer in hand.
Here comes the important part:
- THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
- The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.
- The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.
- THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
- The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.
- After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. And most important of all:
- Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
- The man asks the woman how she enjoyed “her night off.” And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women…