Australian Condoms — Ned Martin’s Amused

Helen Clarke, Prime Minister of New Zulland, is rudely awoken at 4am by the telephone.

“Hillen, it’s the hilth munister here. Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergency! I’ve just received word that the Durex factory en Auckland has burned to the ground. It is istimated thet the entire New Zulland supply of condoms will be gone by the ind of the week.”

“Shuuuuut – the economy wull niver be able to cope with all those unwanted babies – we’ll be ruined!”

“We’re going to hef to shup some in from abroad... Britain?”

“No chence! The Poms will have a field day in thus one!”

“What about Australia?”

“Maybe – but we don’t want them to know thet we are stuck. You call John Howard – tell hum we need one moolion condoms; ten enches long and eight enches thuch! That way they’ll know how bug the Kiwis really are!”

Helen calls John, who agrees to help the Kiwis in their hour of need.

Three days later a van arrives in Auckland – full of boxes. A delighted Helen rushes out to open the boxes. She finds condoms; Ten inches long; eight inches thick, all coloured green and gold. She then notices in small writing on each and every one...


For the flipside, see Australia runs out of Condoms