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Search Ned Martin’s Amused

Ned Martin’s Amused Pages

Drugs, ImageryToo High
Quick! Grab my hand! I… I can’t! You’re too high! What?
Medical, RisquéKeep Off The Grass
A Nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothes, entered…
Animals, Cats, ImageryAbercrombie & Cat
Abercrombie & Cat
Animals, Dogs, ImageryI Forgot How To Dog
I forgot how to dog
Alarms, Animals, Clocks, Imagery, SpidersAlarm Clock That Releases Spiders
Million dollar idea… alarm clock that releases spiders! Now you’re up!
Imagery, RisquéAdult Dog Store
A dog carries an inflatable leg from an Adult Dog Store.
Cooking, Frypans, ImageryNon-stick Frypan
A stuck non-stick frypan…
Batman, Imagery, WomenNana Nana Nana Batman!
Nana Nana Nana Batman!
Fans, ImageryThank You To All My Fans
Thank you to all my fans
English, GrammarIf Your A Grammar Nazi
If your a grammar nazi and your reading this your gonna have a bad time.
Asian, Facebook, Imagery, RacistHumans Of Sunnybank
In Asia culture, it’s important for wife to trust husband and let him be the leader in the house. That’s why after I am married, I will always leave big decision to him – for example, choosing between buy me a Chanel for birthday or go sleep on sofa for a whole month instead.
Marriage, Religious, Sexist, WivesGood & Obedient Wives
And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world…
Air Force, Fighter Jets, Imagery, Jets, NavyWrong Button
Fighter jet hits the wrong button.
Australia, Bank Notes, Banks, Imagery, Money, PoliticalAustralian Bank Notes
Australian Bank Notes.
Flying, Imagery, SportFlying – Because Golf Only Takes One Ball
Flying – because softball, baseball, football, basketball, soccer, bowling and golf only take one ball.
Risqué, SexistThe Perfect Password
A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, the computer advised him that he would now need to enter a password…
Illusion, ImageryThe Angry/Calm Illusion
The Angry/Calm Illusion.
Cats, Comics, ImageryPop Out Of Bed
If people were meant to pop out of bed we’d all sleep in toasters.
Birds, Imagery, RavensWhere Have You Been All Weekend?
Where have you been all weekend? Out Raven.
SexistAustralia And Mateship
Mateship amongst Men & Women: The differences…
Facebook, Imagery, InternetFuture Man
So you’re saying people will “tweet” what they’re eating for breakfast?
Animals, Apples, Cats, Imagery, MathSeven Cats
If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?
ImageryProof That Not Knowing Everything Is The Best Way To Go
Proof that not knowing everything is the best way to go.
Animals, Australia, Imagery, KoalasEucalyptus Leaves Cause Hallucinations
The **** do you mean eucalyptus leaves cause hallucinations? I gotta tell my unicorn about this.
GeekyHow Many Does It Take...
How many forum posters does it take to change a light bulb?
ImageryKermit Sees The Doctor
Have a seat Kermit. What I’m about to tell you might come as a big shock…
America, English, Imagery, RacistEnglish (Traditional) And English (Simplified)
English (Traditional) and English (Simplified).
Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, PhonesIPhone 6 Repair Kit
iPhone 6 repair kit.
Dinosaurs, Imagery, MuseumsTrannysaurus
Trannysaurus: You’re fired.
Animals, Dachshunds, Dogs, Imagery, RacingDachshund Racing
Googled “dachshund racing”. Was not disappointed.
Animals, Crocodiles, ImageryCrocodile Lion
An interesting dinnertime story…
AudioPsychiatric Answering Machine
A Psychiatric Office Answering Machine.
Cars, ImagerySideways Car
It’s a little confusing…
Animals, Cats, ImageryOn A Roll
Don’t try to stop me… ‘cause I am on a roll.
Beds, Hotels, Imagery, Phones, SheetsAlways Leave Your Hotel Room Like This
Always leave your hotel room like this
ImageryFingers Move
I think you’re spending too much time on the computer. Your fingers move when you talk…
Bipolar, Graffiti, Imagery, SignsBipolar Awesome
I hate being bi-polar. It’s awesome.
Beer, Calendars, Imagery, Mayans, Predictions2 Mayan Guys
[2 Mayan Guys] Wanna beer? I’m working on this calendar, but I guess if I don’t finish it won’t be the end of the world.
SexistPunctuation Is Powerful.
Punctuation is powerful.
Animals, Fish, ImageryCan February March? No, But April May.
Can February March? No, but April May.
Animals, Imagery, SpidersLet’s All Take A Moment And Be Thankful That Spiders Don’t Fly.
Let’s all take a moment and be thankful that spiders don’t fly!
Animals, Australia, Dangerous, ImageryDangerous Australia
It’s no wonder we all live here…
Cars, Imagery, MoviesDiesel
Hey, wanna know what I put in my car?
Boobs, Imagery, RisquéWater Enhanced Breasts
Water Enhanced Breasts…
Highway Patrol, Police, Speeding, WorkcoverSweet Justice
Workcover versus the police…
Artists, Justin Bieber, MusiciansDear Justin Bieber Haters
I owe my life to Justin Bieber…
Australia, Imagery, Nsw, PolicePoliceman’s Ball
A young woman was pulled over for speeding. A NSW Police Officer walked to her car window flipping open his ticket book. She said “I bet you are going to try and sell me a ticket to the Policeman’s Ball.” He said, “NSW Police don’t have balls.” There was a moment of silence. Then he closed his book, tipped his hat, and got back in his patrol car and left!
Facebook, InternetFacebook Farm
A dying granny tells her granddaughter, “I want to leave you my farm…
Animals, Cars, Cows, Drunk, ImageryDrunk Cows
Drunk Cows: Bruce you are drunk.
Facebook, Imagery, RisquéFacebook Sex
Taking status updates too far.
Australia, Games, Imagery, MonopolyAustralian Monopoly
Australian Monopoly: St Marys to Penrith Special Edition.
Geeky, MusicWhat If The Beatles Had Been Computer Freaks?
What if the Beatles had been computer freaks?
April Fools, Imagery, Pizza, Salad, WorkThis Is How Workplace Violence Starts
This is how workplace violence starts…
Boobs, Imagery, RisquéBoob Staring
Shirt: Please tell your boobs to quit staring at my eyes.
Illusion, ImageryFour Perfectly Round Circles
Four Perfectly Round Circles.
Buildings, Jokes, Physicists, PunsA Physicist Sees A Young Man About To Jump Off The Empire State Building
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building…
Animated, ImageryWait!
Wait…
Animals, Birds, Imagery, SeagullsSomebody Come Look At This
Somebody Come Look at This
Geeky, InternetGoogle
Try Google. Available in six of the world’s most common languages…
Explosions, Guns, ImageryTold Her Not To Brag About Her Barbie Dream House…
Told her not to brag about her barbie dream house…
Alcohol, Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, WindowsWindows: File Missing
Windows cannot find the file. Would you like some wine instead?
WorkRejection Response
The next time you get a rejection letter from a hoped-for employer or publisher, just send them the following…
America, Britain, Political, Queen Elizabeth Ii, Queens, Racist, RoyaltyA MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN
A message to the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.
Evolution, Imagery, ZombiesZombie Evolution
The evolution of Zombies
ImageryLegoland Will Never Be The Same...
Legoland will never be the same…
Illusion, ImageryIllogical Lego
Illogical Lego.
Imagery, MilkLying About Skim Milk
There’s only one thing I hate more than lying. Skim milk, which is water that’s lying about being milk.
Bones, ImageryI Found This Humerus
I found this humerus.
Australia, Cooking, God, Imagery, KitchensIn God’s Kitchen
In God’s Kitchen: What are you cooking?
Imagery, TattoosFree Tattoo Removal
Free (and perhaps painful) tattoo removal.
Advertising, Feminine Hygiene, Imagery, Sexist, VintagePlease, Dave… Please Don’t Let Me Be Locked Out From You!
Please, Dave… please don’t let me be locked out from you! For complete feminine hygiene rely on Lysol – a concentrated germ-killer!
Perfect Existence
Perfect Existence: The Proof
Food, ImageryBreakfast Alive
What happens if you wait too long before eating your breakfast?
Animals, Dogs, ImageryAchilles’ Heel
You got a dog?! Yup! His name is Achilles…
Australia, Cars, Ghosts, Pub, Storm, SupernaturalA True Australian Ghost Story
This story happened a short while ago near Brisbane, and even though it sounds a little Alfred Hitchcock… it’s (supposedly) true.
Australia, Games, Imagery, ReligiousThanks God
God and the Rubiks Cube…
ImageryStatistics That Matter: The Pie Chart
A new take on the traditional pie… chart.
Computers, ImageryAlready Exists
skdjaskdhsajdahsdjashds.jpg already exists. Do you want to replace it? You've got to be kidding me.
Aboriginal, Australia, Imagery, Racist, The RockStolen Generator
So I heard about the stolen generation…
Imagery, Iphone, Nokia, PhonesNokia Versus The IPhone
The strongest phones ever!
Imagery, Self-help, SexSex Maniac
Dear Dr Ruth, I’m writing to tell you my problem. It seems I have been married to a sex maniac for the past 22 years…
Animals, Elephants, ImageryIt’s Just One Of Those Days
A baby elephant falls in the mud.
Canada, Imagery, NoticesCanadian Security
Canadian Security: It may seem rude but for security reasons please do not open the door to strangers.
Food, Imagery, TurkeyRoast Turkey With A Doll Head
I was watching TV when I head my Dad in the kitchen laughing to himself. When I got up to see what he was doing, I walked in on this…
Imagery, Sexist, TalkingWomen Use About 30,000 Words A Day
Did you know that women use about 30,000 words a day while men use only 15,000?
Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, Sexist, WorkJob Application
Sexist job application.
Hands, Imagery, Risqué, Valentine’s DayValentine Hand
Of course I’ll be your valentine. Let’s stay home and watch some porn.
Got To Love Drunk People
>A man, and his wife are awakened at 3 o’clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door…
RisquéTarzan Sex
When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex…
Babies, Imagery, PregnancyPregnancy Tips
Some useful pregnancy tips…
RisquéSanta’s Stressful Christmas
Santa’s Stressful Christmas
Dates, ImageryMay The 4th Be With You
If today is “May the 4th be with you” does that mean tomorrow is “revenge of the 5th?”
Animals, Dogs, Driving, Imagery, SexistDog Decides Better Driver
My wife believes she is a better driver. I let our dog decide.
Advertising, Gay, Imagery, Showers, VintageBradley Group Showers
Bradley Group Showers.
Accidents, Imagery, Logan, Racist, WindowsLogan Repair
Another quality repair job by Logan City Council.
Imagery, Music, Rap, Rock, SignsRap Loses To Rock
Rap is like scissors, it always loses to rock.
Animals, Cats, Imagery, RacoonsCat Found
Cat Found. Very aggressive.
InternetMoronic Email Scam
Nigerian spam…
America, Guns, Imagery, Police, RacistAnd I Was All Like, Pew Pew Pew!
And I was all like, pew pew pew! Pew pew pew! ‘Merica!
Advertising, Billboards, ImageryThere Are Two Rules For Success
There are two rules for success: Never reveal everything you know…
Eggs, ImageryEscape Egg
Counting down the days to escape…
Alphabet, Doctors, ImageryThe Medical Alphabet
The Medical Alphabet
Babies, Imagery, RisquéI Will Deprive You Of Sex
I will deprive you of sex all night with my crying and then suck on your wife’s tits in the morning.
Alcohol, ChemistryAlcohol Is A Solution
Not to get technical but according to chemistry alcohol is a solution.
Bananas, Food, Imagery, SuicideSuicidal Bananas
A collection of suicidal bananas.
Gandalf, Harry Potter, Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, Patrick Stewart, Star Trek, Star WarsHow To Offend Four Groups Of Geeks With One Picture
How to offend four groups of geeks with one picture.
All Your Base, Geeky, Imagery, InternetAll Your Base...
All your base are belong to us.
Imagery, MoviesNeville
Neville would have done it in four books.
Batman, Imagery, Iphone, Phones, SmsI’m Batman
SMS conversation between Tim and Batman.
Cars, Imagery, Roads, SignsTired? Powernap Now.
Tired? Powernap now.
Africa, Animals, Cats, Imagery, Lions, TouristsThe Best Photo Caption
A western woman in Africa—presumably a tourist—squats to go to the toilet in the bush, pants down, toilet paper in hand, her backpack in the grass nearby; unaware a lion is sneaking up behind her. Captioned “if she hasn’t… she will soon”.
Animals, Bread, Dogs, Food, ImageryI’m Inbred!
I’m Inbred!
DrugsGranny LSD
Boy asks his Granny, “Have you seen my pills labelled ‘LSD’?”
Geeky, ImageryDelete Cookies
Delete cookies?!
Animals, Cats, Imagery, WorkI Used To Smile… Until I Worked Retail.
I used to smile… until I worked retail.
Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Imagery, Internet Explorer, Opera, SafariBrowsers: Their Differences
The differences between the major web browsers.
Energy Drinks, Geeky, Imagery, Rubiks CubesMonster Energy Drinks & Rubiks Cubes
Monster energy drinks & Rubiks Cubes: Dude. You have a problem. Problem solved!
Animals, Imagery, Internet, RabbitsStop Surfing The Internet And Just Go To Bed
Holy crap! Look how late it is! Why do I always do this? Why is it so hard to stop surfing the internet and just go to bed?
Animals, ImageryFalling Cows
A roadsign showing a cow falling off a cliff and onto a car.
Risqué, SexistMating Bulls
A man took his wife to the Rodeo and one of the exhibits is that of breeding bulls…
ImageryHard To Pay Fine
Touching wires causes instant death…
Drugs, Imagery, Marijuana, SexistI Tried Pot Once. Now I’m Gay!
I tried pot once. Now I’m gay!
Australia, New Zealand, RacistKiwi Pig Sheep
Voted Best Joke of the Year in Australia…
Animals, Imagery, Lightbulbs, Mice, Risqué, SexHow Many Mice Does It Take To Screw In A Lightbulb?
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Alcohol, Animals, Dogs, Imagery, Skateboards, Smoking, WineBad Dog Is Banned From The Park
I don’t know who this dog is or why he is banned from this park, but he certainly seems like a lot of fun.
English, Grammar, ImageryGrammar Matters
Two Google searches: One for “how can u” and one for “how can an individual”
English, WordsI’m Awkward When People Compliment Me…
I’m awkward when people compliment me… “Nice hair” Me: “Thanks, I grew it myself”
PoliticalOrdering Pizza In The Year 2025
Ordering pizza in the year 2025…
ImageryMarketing
Marketing…
Food, ImageryLittle Green Balls Of Death
Little Green Balls of Death
Risqué, Sexist, ViagraDealing With Hunger Pangs
A woman asks her partner at breakfast time, “Would you like some bacon and eggs a slice of toast and, maybe, some grapefruit juice and coffee?”
ImageryProblem Solving Flowchart
A simple, and humorous, flowchart that successfully troubleshoots almost any problem you can think of.
Bricks, Footpaths, Imagery, OcdOCD Bricks
The worst thing that can happen to an OCD person…
Australia, Imagery, Julia Gillard, Kevin Rudd, PoliticalWhere Was I Before I Was So Rudely Interrupted?
[Kevin Rudd] Where was I before I was so rudely interrupted?
America, Cia, Cocaine, Coke, Drugs, ImageryCIA: We Put The Coke In America
CIA: we put the coke in America.
Boats, Imagery, Rowing, WarRow Row Row Your Boat
Row row row your boat. Shut up Carl.
Comics, ImageryThe Street Is Closed
Oh no—we’re trapped in here. The street is closed.
Ice, Imagery, MindpowerMelt Ice With My Mind
I can melt ice with my mind… just give me a few minutes…
Imagery, SignsDon’t Grow Up
Don’t grow up. It’s a trap.
Animals, Animated, Imagery, PenguinsPenguin Falls
Penguin falling on ice.
Computers, Sms, WindowsWindows Frozen
Wife texts husband on a cold winter’s morning, “Windows frozen.”
Imagery, RisquéSave Paper
Save paper…
ImagerySpring Is Just Around The Corner
Finally… Spring is just around the corner.
Cars, Geeky, TechnologyCars And Computers
General Motors doesn’t have a help line for people who don’t know how to drive because people don’t buy cars like they buy computers, but imagine if they did…
Geeky, JokesIntellectual Jokes
Believing this statement will make you happier.
RacistAmerican History 101
American History 101
Animals, Imagery, RabbitsWhat Rabbits Do
What rabbits do when humans go out…
PoliticalPolitically Correct Primer
A politically correct primer.
Germany, LoveTell Someone You Love Them Today
Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying and confusing.
Animals, Cats, ImageryI’m Glad You’re Up
I’ve put all of your folded shirts on the floor for you.
Brisbane, Imagery, Logan, Racist, WoodridgeSimba & Woodridge
But what about that shadowy place?
Canada, Imagery, Protests, RiotsCanadian Riots
Canadian Riots: Sorry to bother you, but perhaps you should take a break as our mayor?
PoliticalAbbott And Costello Go To Washington
Abbott And Costello Go To Washington.
Imagery, PinterestIf You Like It Then You Shoulda Put A Pin On It
If you like it then you shoulda put a pin on it!
Geology, Imagery, SchoolGeology
Name the three types of rock.
Clippit, Imagery, Microsoft, Office, Paperclips, WorkIt Looks Like You Are Wasting Office Supplies. Would You Like Some Help?
Clippit: It looks like you are wasting office supplies. Would you like some help?
Dear Thigh Fat
Help the needy?
Geeky, ImageryIPad Stone
iPad versus a stone.
Animals, Dogs, ImageryHide Yo Kids!
Hide yo kids! Hide yo wife!
JokeLaurel And Hardy
Laurel and Hardy were repairing their roof. All of a sudden, Hardy lost his balance and went tumbling on the ground…
Animals, Imagery, SharksShark! What?
Shark! What?
Apple, Computers, Flash, Geeky, Imagery, MacMacintosh
Mac Hater…
Apple, Boobs, Fashion, Imagery, Ios, Risqué, ShirtsSlide To Unlock
A woman wearing a shirt: Slide to Unlock.
America, Canada, RacistU.S. Ship Versus Canadian
U.S. Ship versus Canadian.
Imagery, Internet, SwordsSwords Of The Centuries
Swords of the Centuries
Geeky, RisquéEUNUCH Programmer's Manual - CONDOM(1)
The EUNUCH Programmer's Manual - CONDOM(1)
Crime, Police, ShootingThe Floor Is Still Wet
I have an interesting case here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped…
Political, RisquéHillary Clinton Goes To Her Doctor For A Physical…
Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical…
Fifteen Things To Do At The Supermarket…
Fifteen things to do at the supermarket while your spouse is taking their sweet time…
Business Cards, ImageryYou Have A Nice… Business Card
A business card: “You have a nice… {day, ass, attitude}.
Animals, Dogs, ImageryFunny Dog
The longer you look, the funnier it gets!
Imagery, Tools, Work, ZombiesIn Case Of Zombies
In case of zombies… or yard work…
Halloween, Imagery, Pumpkins, VegetablesAngry Pumpkin Man
Angry Pumpkin Man: Come at me bro!
Imagery, School24 Chickens
24 Chickens: The shoe rack at the front door…
Blonde, Fruit, Ginger, Hair, Imagery, Strawberries, WomenGinger Versus Strawberry Blonde
This is a strawberry. This is ginger…
Imagery, TvThinking Outside The Square
A sideways television.
Imagery, PunsThe Highest Form Of Flattery
Plateaus: The highest form of flattery.
RisquéMickey Mouse
One day, Mickey Mouse decided that he wanted a divorce…
Advertising, April Fools, Ikea, Imagery, Product Recalls, ToolsIKEA Product Recall
IKEA product recall advert on April Fools Day
America, Capitalist, ImageryIn Capitalist America…
Bank robs you!
Engineering, Flowcharts, Geeky, ImageryEngineering Flowchart
Nothing duct tape and WD-40 can’t fix…
Books, Imagery, Sexist“Understanding Women” Now Available In Paperback
The book “Understanding Women” is now available in paperback!
Imagery, SocksThe Divorce Rate Among My Socks Is Astonishing.
The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.
Geeky, ImageryBlackboard
School kid writing Code on blackboard as punishment.
Acid, Animals, Cats, Cocaine, Coffee, Drugs, Heroin, Imagery, Marijuana, Mushrooms, Shrooms, WeedDrug Cats
An illustrated cat-guide to drugs…
Geeky, Imagery, Scientific, UniversityHow People In Science See Each Other
How People in Science See Each Other.
Horror MoviesIf You Are Lonely, Dim All Lights
If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you’re alone anymore.
ImagerySteady Hand – The Results
Steady Hand – The Results (or what happens when you play Steady Hand)
Animals, Animated, Australia, Emus, Imagery, KangaroosKangaroo Kicks Boy
A kangaroo kicks an unsuspecting boy into a dam while an emu strolls past.
Imagery, Phones, Sms, SmsLost Phone
A man sends SMS from a lost phone…
Accidents, Aeroplanes, Imagery, LuggageClosing Airline Luggage Doors
Closing Airline Luggage Doors.
Emoji, Imagery, Phones, SmsEmoji
Alien blood transfusions are illegal for ghosts, but beach chickens win!
Asian, Imagery, Iphone, Racist, RiceIf Your Phone Gets Wet, Try Placing It In A Bag Of Rice
If your phone gets wet, try placing it in a bag of rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you.
Advertising, Gay, Imagery, Ovaltine, VintageTo Wake Up Gay In The Morning…
To wake up gay in the morning just try this at Bedtime Tonight!
Illusion, ImageryThey See Us Rollin’
They See Us Rollin’… We Aren’t…
Computer Games, Imagery, SexistThe Way Girls Play Computer Games
The way girls play computer games.
Canada, Flutes, Imagery, SignsCanada Has A Serious Epidemic
Protect yourself and others from the flute.
Australia, Bbq, Cooking, Food, SexistBarbecue Etiquette
Aussie Barbecue Season.
Animals, Bugs, Flies, Imagery, Joke, MitesHey, Bug On My Back…
Hey, bug on my back, are you a mite? I mite be. Stupidest pun I ever heard…
Beaches, Imagery, WomenBitches Be Trippin’
Bitches be trippin’
Joke, RisquéJam And Butter The Muddy Plasters, The Dirty Bucket Of Pitch!
Jam and butter the muddy plasters, the dirty bucket of pitch!
Clothes, Hats, Imagery, TiesYou Hang Around, I’ll Go On Ahead
You hang around, I’ll go on ahead.
Animals, Birds, Crows, Imagery, TrucksCrows Killed By Trucks
Why are so many crows killed by trucks?
Illusion, ImageryTwelve Or Thirteen?
Wait until the group changes position. Is it twelve or thirteen?
ImageryApostrophe, Catastrophe
Apostrophe, Catastrophe.
Advertising, Imagery, Skype, VintageSkype
Vintage Skype advert.
GeekySpellcheck Not Needed
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy…
English, Etymology, Imagery, Languages, SpanishEntero Somewhere Elso
English: Do Not Enter Here; Spanish: Entero Somewhere Elso.
Imagery, WaterThe Deadly Facts About Water
The Deadly Facts about Water
Elderly, Hearing Aids, ImageryExpensive Hearing Aid
A man was telling his neighbour, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.”
Imagery, Risqué, SexistGrow Some Balls
Why do people say ‘grow some balls’?
Animals, Djs, Fishing, Imagery, MusicDrop The Bass
Can’t go fishing, ‘cause I always drop the bass…
Darth Vader, ImageryBreathe Right
Darth Vader going for some Breathe Right.
Bags, Imagery, ShoppingI’ll Be Bag
A bag titled “I’ll Be Bag”
Boobs, Bsod, Computers, Fashion, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, Sexist, Shirts, Windows, WomenI Love My BSOD
Perhaps the only blue screen of death geeks would be happy to see.
Diets, Food, Paleolithic DietPaleolithic Diet
Something’s just not right—our air is clean, our water is pure, we all get plenty of exercise, everything we eat is organit and free-range, and yet nobody lives past thirty.
Bill Gates, Imagery, Mario, North Korea, Star Wars, WinrarThe Good Guys Of The World
These are the Good Guys of the World.
Animals, Dogs, ImageryDog Queue
Sometimes, even dogs have to queue…
Awards, Imagery, Jobs, Roads, WorkThe Winner Of The “Not My Job” Award
The Winner of the “Not My Job” Award goes to…
Hats, Imagery, SportYou Can’t Beat Stupid…
I wish they would invent something to keep the sun out of my eyes…
Animals, Geeky, Imagery, Math, SnakesSnakes On A Plane
Snakes on a plane.
America, RacistA Russian Arrives In New York
A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United States…
Bmw, Cars, Imagery, WorkBrand New BMW
The owner of the company where I work pulled up in his brand new BMW this morning…
Alcohol, Holidays, Imagery, WineHoliday Workout
Holiday Workout: Three corkscrews.
Imagery, SexistHow Could You Be So Insensitive?
How Could You Be So Insensitive? This is what it looks like from the other person’s perspective.
Animals, Imagery, WhalesThe Hey Whale
The Hey Whale. It defies description.
Imagery, ToiletsPeeing: Expert Mode
Peeing: Expert Mode
RacistOnly In America...
Only in America…
Browsers, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, WindowsFirefox Has Encountered…
…an unexpected problem with Windows.
Computers, Geeky, It, Technology101 Things You Do Not Want...
101 Things You Do Not Want Your System Administrator to say.
Dads, Imagery, Jokes, Phones, SmsSometimes I Sit On The Floor And Put My Arms Around My Knees And Lean Forward
Dad: Sometimes I sit on the floor and put my arms around my knees and lean forward. Daughter: Huh? Dad: Cuz that’s how I roll!
Animals, Conspiracies, Dogs, Imagery, SheepThat Conspiracy Stuff
I’m telling you – the man and the dog are definitely working together…
Buffering, Buffy, Imagery, TvBuffy Buffering
Buffy buffering…
Imagery, Money, Monopoly, StrippersMonopoly Money For Fake Boobs
I think it’s only fair to throw monopoly money at strippers with fake boobs.
Facebook, Geeky, Imagery, InternetGoogle+ Versus Facebook
Google Plus versus Facebook
Risqué, SexKeep Your Mouth Shut
If you don’t believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut!
Apple, Imagery, Ios, Ios6, TransportApple IOS6 Maps
For the benefit of passengers using Apple iOS6, local area maps are available from the booking office.
Australia, Imagery, Nrl, Nsw, Qld, Rugby, SportNSW Playing Economically: 2 Punches Per Gallen.
NSW playing economically. 2 punches per Gallen.
Imagery, Men, SexistMen Have Feelings Too!
Men have feelings too! For example, we feel hungry.
Pages By Date
A list of all the pages, sorted by their last updated or creation dates.
Animals, Cats, ImageryCat In A Cat Box
A cat in a Cat box.
Imagery, PoliticalWill Be President For Food
Boy sitting next to sign “No Campaigning beyond This Point” holding sign “Will Be President for Food”.
Political, ReligiousThe 10 Commandments
The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse or parliament…
Animals, Flamingos, ImageryGarden Flamingo
Garden Flamingo…
Advertising, Boobs, Imagery, Sexist, VintageSabrina Projects
Sabrina demonstrates the world’s finest projection equipment…
Animals, Birds, Chickens, Imagery, Rock And RollChook Heavy Metal Guitarist
A heavy metal guitarist chicken
PoliticalScientific Breakthrough – Governmentium
A major research institution recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named Governmentium.
Imagery, MathSeven Ate Nine
Six, Seven, Ate, Nine…
Animals, ImageryWhat Animals Dream...
What animals dream.
Cold, Flu, Illness, Imagery, Man Flu, SexistMan Flu
The difference between men & women when they are sick.
Computer Games, ImageryVideo Games Don’t Make Us Violent – Lag Does!
Video games don’t make us violent – lag does!
Animals, Cows, ImageryA Cow Getting A Back Scratch
A cow getting a back scratch.
Australia, Banks, ImageryAustralian Banks
Australian Bank Logos.
Sexist, WomenWhen A Woman Says “what?”
When a woman says “what?”, it’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
Computer Games, Education, Games, Imagery, Internet, Minecraft, School, TestsMinecraft: Create A Simple Door
Describe a process that could be used to create a simple door.
Android, Galaxy Note, Imagery, Phones, Samsung, TechnologyBattery Fully Charged. Unplug Charger.
In what is perhaps one of the more stupid “features” on my Samsung Galaxy Note, when it reaches full charge, it lights up its screen and pops up and audible alert saying “Battery fully charged. Unplug charger.” As I charge my phone at night, it is effectively an extremely annoying unwanted wake-up call.
America, Imagery, Mexico, RacistBorderline Offensive
You can make jokes about anything, just not Mexicans…
America, Guns, ImageryHow To Sneak Chocolate Into An American Movie Theatre.
How to sneak chocolate into an American movie theatre.
Clowns, Imagery, Risqué, Sex, WomenShe Made That Clown Extremely Happy
She made that clown extremely happy.
Imagery, RocksOrders From A Rock
[On a rock] Turn me over. You just took orders from a rock.
Animals, Cars, Donkeys, ImageryA BMW Donkey
A BMW donkey. Not much more to be said really.
Animals, Imagery, KangaroosI Said Be Quiet! Don’t Make Me Come In There!
I said be quiet! Don’t make me come in there!
Cake, Ikea, ImageryHappy 25th Birthday IKEA!
Happy 25th Birthday IKEA! Here’s your cake
Imagery, ReligiousBelieve In Reincarnation
Yeah, well, I didn’t believe in reincarnation when I was your age, either.
Imagery, Kim Jong-un, North Korea, SnickersKim, Eat A Snickers
Kim Jong-un: I’m going to nuke everyone. Kim, eat a Snickers. Kim: Why? Because you turn into a war mongler when you’re hungry. Better? Kim: Better.
Imagery, Paper, SignsIs It Me You’re Looking For?
Hello? Is it me you’re looking for?
Corporate, Geeky, ImageryPatent Infringement
Eating Fruit…
ToysThe Horror Of Blimps
Some blimps are better off dead…
Angry Birds, Animals, Australia, Birds, Computer Games, ImageryAngry Birds Australia
Angry Birds Australia…
Animals, Dogs, ImageryI See What You Did There
I see what you did there… also, over here…
Food, Imagery, Microwaves, ScienceNo Science In This Microwave
Food only. Absolutely no science in this microwave.
Animals, Birds, Chickens, Imagery, MarriageMarriage: Before & After (Chicken Style)
Marriage: Before & After (Chicken Style).
Children, Parenting, SportChild Beating
A seven year old boy was at the centre of a courtroom drama…
Board Games, ImageryMarry Me
Scrabble Edition.
America, Animals, Australia, Birds, Eagles, Imagery, RacistAmerican Bald Eagle Vs Australian Wedge Tail Eagle
American Bald Eagle vs. Australian Wedge Tail Eagle.
Babies, Cars, Imagery, StickersBaby On Board
Baby on Board
Illusion, ImageryConfused Carpentry
A Carpenter’s Nightmare.
Bananas, Cars, Food, ImageryGet In The Banana
No time to explain. Get in the banana!
Bras, Imagery, UnderwearSupport Bras
Supportive support bras…
C Sharp, Developers, Geeky, Imagery, Java, ProgrammersWhy Do Java Developers Wear Glasses?
Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#!
Animals, Dogs, ImageryDog Poo Bin
If your dog does a poo please put it in a litter bin.
Imagery, Marriage, Men, WomenMarriage Secrets Of Highly Successful Couples
Marriage secrets of highly successful couples.
Animals, Imagery, SharksSharks Are A Lot Friendlier Without Pointy Teeth
Sharks are a lot friendlier without pointy teeth.
GeekyIf Dr Seuss Was A Technical Writer
If Dr Seuss Was A Technical Writer.
Bananas, Food, Imagery, PhonesBanana Phone
It’s a banana phone…
Grammar, SpellingYou Read That Wrong
That awkward moment when you read that wrong…
English, ImageryLike If You Can Raed Tihs
Like if you can raed tihs whit no porlqebm baecuas yuor jsut taht sarmt.
Police, RisquéPanties
Policewoman: Anything you say will be taken down!
Animals, Fire, Imagery, SpidersThere Was A Spider, I Panicked
There was a spider, I panicked. But I think it’s gone now.
Animals, Bunnies, Chocolate, Easter, Food, Imagery, RabbitsEaster Bunnies
Chocolate Easter Bunnies: My butt hurts! What?
Animals, Australia, Cats, Horse Racing, Horses, Imagery, Jockeys, Melbourne Cup, SportMelbourne Cup Cat Horse
Melbourne Cup Cat Horse.
Animals, ImageryAntique Tables
Made Daily…
Accidents, Cars, ImageryPass With Care
Pass with care…
Imagery, UniversityUniversity Website
Things on the front page of a university website.
Animals, Harry Potter, Horses, ImageryWingardium Levi-horse-a
Wingardium levi-horse-a!
Animals, Boats, Fish, Fishing, ImageryGive A Man A Fish And He Has Food For A Day
Give a man a fish and he has food for a day. Teach a man to fish and he has to buy bamboo rods, graphite reels, monofilament lines, neoprene waders, creels, tackleboxes, lures, flies, spinners, worm rigs, slip sinkers, offset hooks, gore-tex hats, 20 pocket vests, fish finders, depth sounders, radar, boats, trailers, global positioning systems, coolers and six-packs.
Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, SexistDream Girl
Girl on beach with six breasts.
Computers, ImageryChecking On A Slow Progress Bar
Checking on a slow progress bar.
Animals, Elephants, Imagery, Kenya, ZoosMan & Elephant
In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Louisiana State University…
Imagery, MondaysShortest Horror Story: Monday
Shortest horror story: Monday.
Geeky, Imagery, RomanceRoses Are #FF0000
Roses are #FF0000, Violets are #0000FF.
Geeky, ImageryOhm
…ohm.
ImageryHow To Be Green
A boardgame: How to be Green…
Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, VintageHappier With A Hoover
Christmas morning she’ll be happier with a Hoover.
RisquéTemptation
Temptation, by a soon to be married man.
Daleks, Doctor Who, Geeky, RobotsWhat Would Robots From The 1960's…
What would robots from 1960’s and 1970’s TV say today with current software installed?
Animals, Bears, Cartoons, Imagery, PigsJackass Piglet
Hi, my name’s piglet and this is Jackass.
America, Imagery, RacistAmerican Measures
American Measures: An Arbitrary Retarded Rollercoaster
Advertising, Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Phones, TechnologyIPhone 10 – The Tallest IPhone Yet
A mock-up of the iPhone 10, after the launch of the “taller” iPhone5.
Imagery, Mafia, RecruitersRecruiters Are One Step Above The Mafia
Recruiters are one step above the Mafia…
Cars, ImageryPolished My Car Too Much
Polished my car too much, now it’s invisible…
Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Internet Explorer, Mac, WindowsCan Your Mac Do This?
Can your Mac do this? I don’t think so…
English, WordsWhat Is A Word Made Up Of 4 Letters Yet Is Also Made Up Of 3
What is a word made up of 4 letters yet is also made up of 3. Although is written with 8 letters, and then with 4. Rarely consists of 6, and never is written with 5.
Cars, ImageryAbove The Law Like A Boss
Above the law like a boss: removing a wheel clamp.
Animals, Dogs, Drugs, Imagery, MethMeth Lab Dog
Yellow Lab, Black Lab, Chocolate Lab, Meth Lab!
Alligators, Animals, Crocodiles, Imagery, TurtlesTurtle Cavalry
Onward, alligator steed!
Imagery, WifiWireless Networks
Wireless networks could save your life!
Animals, RisquéThe Lone Ranger
The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an Indian war party…
Aeroplanes, Buses, Cars, Electricity, Firefighters, Imagery, VaccinesRe-Think Vaccines
Next time someone tells you to re-think vaccines, show them this.
Imagery, InternetProcrastination
Have a little look at the Internet…
Illusion, ImageryCrazy Sphere
A crazy sphere
Animals, Cars, Children, Girls, Horses, ImageryNo Pony For Christmas
No pony for Christmas? No window for driving!
Jokes, MathMath Joke
Math joke.
Babies, Children, Daycare, Imagery, Logan, RacistLogan Daycare
Logan Daycare: Just for the whole day
Political, SchoolMath Instruction
At Heathrow Airport today…
Darth Vader, Imagery, Kristen StewartMore Expressions Than Kristen Stewart
Still more expressions than Kristen Stewart.
Hammer, ImageryStop! Hammer Time
Stop! Hammer Time!
Illusion, ImageryShake Your Head
Shake your head
Jewish, RacistBacon Tree
Back in cowboy times, a westbound wagon train was lost and low on food…
Mayans, PredictionsMayans Predicting The Future
Calm down… If the Mayans were good at predicting the future, there would still be Mayans.
Board Games, Imagery, SexistWomen’s Monopoly
By a man…
Imagery, ShopsBall-type Deodorant
Her: Is it the ball-type deodorant you want sir? Him: Oh no miss – it’s for under my arms!
Risqué, Sexist, WorkSentence Structure: Why Sentence Structure Is Important
Sentence Structure: Why sentence structure is important.
Imagery, PhonesJack’s Phone
Why aren’t you answering…?
Geeky, ImageryReach Out
Reach Out!
Imagery, SignsAlways Give 100%
Whatever you do always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.
ImageryMichael Jackson's Dog
A rather mean impression of what Michael Jackson’s dog might look like, if it had similar surgery.
ImageryFurniture Training
Furniture training for one of their main purposes in life…
News Headlines
Amusing news headlines
ImageryFight Apathy
…or don’t.
Geeky, Imagery, Sexist, WomenHazardous Materials Data Sheet – Woman
Hazardous Materials Data Sheet – Woman.
Computers, GeekyMessage From Your IT Deptartment
Message from your IT Deptartment…
Illusion, ImageryRound Illusion
Unusual round illusion.
Animals, Drugs, Imagery, RabbitsHigh Rabbits
Two rabbits getting high on marijuana.
Imagery, LoveThis Summarises My Love Life
This summarises my love life. I’m the guy in blue…
Animals, Birds, Imagery, Owls, RegretsRegrets
I stay up late every night, and realise it’s a bad idea every morning.
Anatidaephobia, Animals, Ducks, ImageryAnatidaephobia
Anatidaephobia is the fear that somewhere in the world, there is a duck watching you.
Fish, ImageryThe Swordfish
The swordfish has few predators to worry about in the wild, except for the seldom seen penfish which is said to be even mightier.
Imagery, Marriage, Onions, People, ProposingProposing With An Onion
Proposing with an onion: Guaranteed to cry.
Imagery, Toilets, VandalismToilet Vandalism
We buy things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like…
Animated, Imagery, MedicalRoot Canal
Amusing animated image of root canal treatment
Imagery, Shirts, TshirtsAttention Deficit Disorder
Ask me about my attention deficit disorder or pie or my cat. A dog. I have a bike. Do you like TV? I saw a rock. Hi.
Books, Imagery, PhobiasEverything You Wanted To Know About Phobias
Everything you wanted to know about Phobias (but were afraid to ask)
Animals, Bunnies, Imagery, RabbitsEmo Bunny
Emo bunny: No one ever understands him
Atoms, Imagery, SignsDo Not Trust Atoms
Do not trust atoms. They make up everything.
Australia, Iraq, PoliticalThe Australian Constitution: For Iraq
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq…
Angels, Imagery, Red Bull, SculpturesRed Bull Gives You Wings
Red Bull Gives You Wings.
English, GrammarBipolar Awesome
English can be weird. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
America, Guns, RacistWhat Do You Call A Gun Enthusiast?
You may have heard on the news about a Southern California man who was put under 72-hour psychiatric observation when it was found he owned 100 guns and allegedly had 100,000 rounds of ammunition stored in his home…
Advertising, Cooking, Imagery, Sexist, VintageCook – That’s What Wives Are For!
The Chef does everything but cook – that’s what wives are for!
Boats, Imagery, IslandsBoat! Land!
Boat! Land!
English, Grammar, QuotationsAmusing Quotes & One-Liners
Amusing Quotes & One-Liners.
Bikes, ImagerySquare Bike
Surprisingly good riding down stairs… not so good on the flat.
Babies, Imagery, InstructionsBaby Instructions
Some useful instructions to keep baby alive and well…
Geeky, Imagery, InternetYour Computer Is Broadcasting Your IP...
Your computer is broadcasting your IP over the Internet…
Books, Imagery, Lance Armstrong, LibrariesLance Armstrong Fiction Books
All non-fiction Lance Armstrong books including “Lance Armstrong: Images of a Champion”, “The Lance Armstrong Peprformance Program” and “Lance Armstrong: World’s Greatest Champion” will soon be moved to the fiction section.
Animals, Horses, Imagery, SeahorsesSeahorse
I’m a seahorse. Your argument is invalid.
Daughters, Families, Imagery, MothersMum, What’s It Like To Have The Greatest Daughter In The World?
Mum, what’s it like to have the greatest daughter in the world? I don’t know dear… you’ll have to ask grandma.
France, Germany, Imagery, RacistAngela Merkel Arrives At Passport Control At Paris Airport…
Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control at Paris airport. “Nationality?” asks the immigration officer. “German,” she replies. “Occupation?” “No, just here for a few days.”
Imagery, RisquéFingering A Minor
Fingering A Minor for hours on my bed.
Animals, Dogs, ImagerySo We Got Pugsy A New Chew Toy…
So we got Pugsy a new chew toy…
Cars, SexistHow To Change Your Oil
How to Change your Oil: A guide for men & women…
Australia, Games, Imagery, Logan, Monopoly, RacistLogan Monopoly
Logan Monopoly…
Beer, Imagery, SexistYou Never Listen To Me…
You never listen to me! You only hear what you want to hear!
Chocolate, Geeky, Homes, Honey, Imagery, Milk, PhonesQuite Literally…
I phone, you tube. Hi honey, I’m home. Chocolate milk shake.
Animals, Imagery, LlamasGet In The Llama
No time to explain! Get in the llama…
How To Make Sure You’re A Normal Person
A quick and easy test to determine if you are a normal person…
Flash, ImagerySteady Hand – A Game Of Skill
A game of skill, requiring a steady hand and keen eye – make sure you play at least the first two levels…
Christmas, Christmas Lights, ImageryChristmas Lights: Ditto
Ditto to that…
AlcoholCalm Living
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me today, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives.
Boobs, Elevators, Imagery, RisquéThis Morning, I Was Beaten Up By A Busy Woman In An Elevator
This morning, I was beaten up by a busy woman in an elevator. I was staring at her boobs when she said, “would you please press one?”. So I did. I don’t remember much after that.
Afghanistan, RacistInvestment Opportunity
Investment Opportunity. Thought you might want to consider getting on board early.
Einstein, ImageryYou Matter
You are living, you occupy space, you have a mass… you matter.
Food, Imagery, ThymeToo Much Thyme On My Hands
I’ve got way too much tyme on my hands.
Animals, Art, Bananas, Carving, Food, Horses, ImageryBanana Carving
Banana Carving.
AustraliaText Of A Letter From A Kid From Eromanga To Mum And Dad.
Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad.
Animals, Australia, Crocodiles, Emus, Imagery, Kangaroos, Koalas, Kookaburras, Police, Sharks, Spiders, Woolworths26 Everyday Occurrences In Australia
When you live on a barely hospitable desert island that was once a continent-sized penal colony, your life tends to be a little more badass than the average person’s.
Animals, Animated, Giraffes, ImageryHidden Giraffe
If you stare at this picture long enough you should be able to see a giraffe…
Animals, Imagery, SharksFlying Sharks
Flying sharks… we’re screwed.
Animals, Cats, Imagery, KittensNo Sitz
I be here!
Illusion, ImageryHinton’s “Lilac Chaser”
The Dotty Illusion…
ImageryEmoticons
Lots of emoticons…
Imagery, WorkNothing To Do
In case of nothing to do, break glass and then sweep up broken glass.
Africa, Bus, ImageryDo You Ever Get So Angry…
Do you ever get so angry… you throw a VCR at a burning bus?
Imagery, Math, PiWife Of Pi
He’s irrational and he goes on and on…
ImageryHoliday House
The Holiday House
Imagery, Ipad, IphoneFree IPhone To IPad Upgrade
Free iPhone to iPad Upgrade
SexistSocialize
Men socialize by insulting each other…
SexistCIA Assassin
The CIA had an opening for an assassin…
ImageryCaution: Door May Open
Caution: Door May Open.
Animals, Animated, ImageryLesson Of The Day
You should never do anything wrong, it will catch up with you…
Animated, ImageryA Teaser
You must stare very closely at the door in this image for around 30 seconds…
SexistEvening Classes For Men
Instructive evening classes for men…
Animals, Imagery, SharksMisunderstood Sharks
Misunderstood Sharks.
Australia, Democracy, Imagery, Political, RisquéAmazing Holes
Amazing Holes from Around the World.
Betas, Bugs, Calendars, Cartoons, Imagery, MayansMayan’s Beta Calendar Bug
…to get to the point; why does your calendar end in 2012? Oh, that’s just a temporary problem in the beta version!
Geeky, ImageryDied
…from not forwarding that text message to 10 people.
Australia, Condoms, New Zealand, Racist, RisquéAustralian Condoms
New Zealand runs out of condoms…
Imagery, Phones, SmsStreet Name
Hey, what’s your street name?
France, Imagery, North Korea, RacistFrance Surrenders To North Korea
France surrenders to North Korea
Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Internet Explorer, Opera, SafariIE Retarded
I hope he doesn’t say something retarded…
Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, Microsoft OfficeMicrosoft Office Suite Pass Key
Does anyone have an extra Microsoft Office suite pass key?
Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, Sweaters, VintageMen Are Better Than Women!
Indoors, women are useful — even pleasant. On a mountain they are something of a drag. So don’t go hauling them up a cliff…
Geeky, ImageryDrowning, LOL!
If you see someone drowning… LOL!
Bathrooms, Imagery, SignsYou Look Fine
Instead of a mirror, a sign “you look fine”.
Imagery, Movies, RomanceGirlfriends: Harry Potter Versus Twilight
Ginny: When Harry broke up with me for my safety…
Imagery, Mistakes, PostersMake Some More Mistakes
I’ve learned so much from my mistakes… I’m thinking of making a few more.
Imagery, Paper, Plants, TreesIrony: Drawing Trees On Paper
Irony: Drawing trees on paper.
Food, Imagery, RisquéCarrot Love
When carrots get kinky…
Computers, Imagery, InternetNew Mail
10 years ago…
Apple, Imagery, Iphone, PhonesUpgrade Kit For IPhone 4 Owners
Upgrade kit for iPhone 4 owners. Only 99¢.
Balloons, Birthdays, ImageryBalloons Are So Weird…
Balloons are so weird… “Happy Birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath”
Cartoons, Fire, Imagery, StairsIn Case Of Fire, Take Stairs
In case of fire, take stairs.
Animals, Imagery, OctopusesDrunk Octopus Wants To Fight
Drunk Octopus Wants to Fight…
Imagery, SmsBack From The Dead
Woo, it’s me! Back from the dead!
America, Imagery, Obama, PoliticalBarack Obama: What I Actually Do
Barack Obama: What I actually do.
ImageryCockroach Cancer
Please, don’t throw your cigarette butts on the floor…
Imagery, Injuries, Sexist, SportMen & Women In Sport
Women: No problem girls… I can go on. Men: Ahhhh! I’m dying.
Guns, ImageryCrayon Gun
A fantastic gun made from many every-day items.
Computer Games, Geeky, ImageryReality
Worst game ever.
Imagery, SexistBefore And After...
Before and after marriage…
Imagery, SportHandegg
Football versus Handegg: It’s not football…
Animals, Circuses, Dwarfs, Hippopotamuses, ImageryHippo Eats Dwarf
A hippopotamus has swallowed a dwarf in a circus accident…
Animals, Imagery, OttersOtter Nonsense
I’ve had it up to here with your otter nonsense…
Game Shows, TvAmusing Hollywood Squares Answers
Amusing Hollywood Squares Answers.
ImageryAll Images
All Images
Beer, ImagerySix Die In Horror Smash
Six Die in Horror Smash.
ImagerySuper Batman
The Super Batman back pack, exclusive from China!
Boats, Books, Fishing, Reading, Sexist, WomenNever Argue With A Woman
Never Argue with a Woman…
Boobs, SexistTen Things Men Know About Women
Ten things men know about women…
Dishes, ImageryDishes
Dishes: They don’t do themselves.
Animals, Birds, Imagery, Notices, Parrots, SignsParrot BBQ
Parrot Lost: Parrot BBQ!
ShoppingGrocery Shopping On An Empty Stomach
Accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I’m the proud owner of aisle 4.
Cars, ImagerySomething Wrong Officer?
Something wrong officer?
Imagery, Logan, Racist, RisquéIn Logan
Meanwhile… in Logan…
Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Pie ChartsTime Breakdown Of Modern Web Design
The breakdown of modern web design.
Comics, Dancing, Imagery, Ireland, Irish, Irish DanceThe Book Of Irish Dance: Volume Two
Whilst doing a long overdue clearout at the offices of Ireland’s oldest and most respected school of dance, Mrs O’Hara made a terrible discovery…
Art, Imagery, Michelangelo, Paintings, Reenactment, Sistine ChapelMichelangelo: The Re-enactment
A re-enactment of Michelangelo’s famous “The Creation of Adam”.
Imagery, Step Ladders, ToolsStep Ladder
The Troubles of Being a Step Ladder…
ImageryBest Way To Freak Out Your Friends
Best way to freak out your friends: Do not open unless you plan to kill it (written on an upside down container)
Babies, ImagerySpot The Baby
Spot the baby. No, the other one.
Imagery, Reincarnation, WoodReincarnation Gone Horribly Wrong
Reincarnation gone horribly wrong
Duct Tape, Imagery, WorkEmergency Bridge Repair Team
Duct Tape: Good for anything.
Books, Imagery, Racist, ShopsWong Fook Hing Book Store
If you cannot find the book that you are looking for, then you’re obviously in the… Wong Fook Hing Book Store!
Animals, Imagery, SealsSeal The Deal
What do you say we go behind this rock and seal the deal?
Animals, Imagery, Nuclear Power, SpidersSpider Farm
This seems like a disaster waiting to happen…
Cars, Dumbledore, Harry Potter, Imagery, PetrolExpecto Petroleum!
Expecto Petroleum!
Animals, Imagery, RacistBlack Bears
Uh oh Howard. Looks like this area has black bears…
Bread, Food, Imagery, TonguesPlease Use Tongue.
Do not touch bread with hands. Please use tongue.
Animals, Elephants, Imagery, RisquéElephant Upskirt
Elephant Upskirt.
Animals, Dogs, ImageryA Little Hand
I wish you could give me a little hand…
Babies, Drinking, Imagery, Studying, The RockWhat Are Your Plans For The Weekend?
What are your plans for the weekend? Studying. [shocked look] Drinking! Drinking!
Bikes, Imagery, PostsHave You Seen This Post?
Have you seen this post? He didn’t.
Babies, ImageryNow Airtight
Now airtight… to prevent aging!
Bugs Bunny, Cartoons, Daffy Duck, Donald Duck, Goofy, Imagery, Looney Tunes, Mickey Mouse, Porky Pig, Road Runner, Tom And Jerry, Wile E CoyoteJust To Make You Feel Really Old
Just to make you feel really old…
Hippies, Imagery, ShirtsPassive Agressive Hippie
Passive Agressive Hippie: You want a [peace sign] of me?
Imagery, TeaMr. Tea
Mr. Tea the teapot.
Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, PhonesIPhone 6: Bend It Like Beckham
iPhone 6: Bend it like Beckham.
Risqué, WorkThe Boss’s Quandary
The Boss’s Quandary…
Birds, Imagery, WifiHe’s Got Wifi
Three birds sitting on a wire, a fourth sitting in mid air. He's got wifi.
Animals, Australia, Emus, WarEmu War
Result: Emu Victory.
Animals, Jokes, Puns, Racing, SnailsI Took The Shell Off My Racing Snail, Thinking It Would Make Him Run Faster.
I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster.
100 Guidelines On Becoming An Evil Villain
World domination is everyone’s dream. It’s not a bad job really…
Apple, Computers, Geeky, Linux, Mac, WindowsHow To Fix Any Computer
A comprehensive guide to fixing any computer.
Balloons, Hot Air Balloons, ImageryHot Air Balloons
Hot Air Balloons - Boring 99% of the time.
Imagery, SexistHair Dryer
Darling, please give me the hair dryer…
Einstein, Imagery, Phones, TechnologyThe Day Einstein Feared
The day that Einstein feared may have finally arrived.
Agony Aunt, Cheating, Dear Abby, Imagery, Motorbikes, Relationships, SexistDear Abby, I’ve Never Written To You Before…
Dear Abby, I’ve never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision…
Africa, Animals, Cars, Elephants, ImageryYou Know You Are Having A Bad Day When…
You know you are having a bad day when…
SexistEx Wife
The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my ex-wife…
RisquéTest Your Subconscious
This revolutionary test will expose the secret desires from your subconscious…
Religious, Risqué, WorkCorporate Lessons
Corporate lessons.
Imagery, Shirts, Tourettes, TshirtsWhat Do We Want? A Cure For Tourettes!
What do we want? A cure for tourettes! When do we want it? …
ImageryWill Not Load Fully
This picture will not load fully!
Imagery, RisquéJelly Orgy
A jelly orgy.
Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, SexistAmazing Hidden Images
Amazing Hidden Images!
Advertising, Feminine Hygiene, Imagery, Risqué, Sexist, Tampons, VintageThe Girls Are Talking About Tampons
The Blonde: It’s invisible sanitary protection, thank heavens…
Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, Lotr, PizzaBrace Yourself. Pizza Is Coming.
Brace Yourself. Pizza is coming.
Accidents, Cars, ImagerySorry: A Bus Accident
Sorry: A Bus Accident
Cars, Imagery, TrucksDriver Is Fully Naked
Driver carries less than $50 cash and is fully naked.
Computers, GeekyUnix Commands
Amusing UNIX commands.
SexistMars Vs. Venus
Mars versus Venus…
Imagery, RedneckRedneck Ingenuity
Redneck Ingenuity: Shoes for tyres.
ImageryPolice Station Toilet Stolen
Police Station Toilet Stolen… Cops have nothing to go on.
Animals, Cats, Egyptians, Hieroglyphics, ImageryAncient Egyptians: Posting Cats To Their Walls Since 3150 BC
Ancient Egyptians: Posting cats to their walls since 3150 BC
Imagery, Phones, SmsI Am Hungary
I am Hungary…
Africa, Animals, Bikes, ImageryUpsetting The Food Chain
A zebra on a motorbike…
Doctors, HospitalsFinding Information In Hospital
A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph’s Hospital…
Funerals, Imagery, Italian, RacistThe Italian Funeral
Pasquale died. His will provided ,000 for an elaborate funeral…
Imagery, Jokes, Paper, Puns, SignsTearable Puns
These are tearable puns.
Imagery, Police, ProtestsPolice & Protesters Help Fat Man Remove Pants
Police & Protesters help fat man remove pants…
The Fellowship Of The Ring
The Fellowship of the Ring.
Imagery, Odin, PoliticalVote Odin
The left wing said they’d abolish poverty; right wing said they’d abolish bureaucracy. Odin said he’d abolish ice giants. Where are the ice giants? Vote Odin!
Foot Smart
See if you can outsmart your foot…
Advertising, Imagery, Men, Sexist, SignsThis Year Thousands Of Men Will Die From Stubbornness…
This year thousands of men will die from stubbornness. No we won’t.
Computers, Geeky, ImageryWhenever I Have To Force Shutdown
Whenever I have to force shutdown.
Comics, Guns, Hands, ImageryHands In The Air!
Hands in the air! Now wave them around like you just don’t care!
Homeless, SexistSledgehammer Psychology
A business man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner…
Apple, Imagery, Ios, Ios7, Iphone, Mobiles, PhonesThe New IPhone 5C With IOS 7
The new iPhone 5C with IOS 7.
Babies, Court, Imagery, Jail, Judges3 Years In Jail For Stealing My Nose
3 years in jail for stealing my nose!
Earth, ImageryHeld Hands Around The Equator
If the human population held hands around the equator, a significant portion of them would drown.
Guitars, Imagery, MusicFree Air Guitars
Christmas Gift Ideas: Free Air Guitars.
RacistFerrari Sack Pit Crew
The Ferrari Formula 1 Team fired their entire pit crew yesterday…
Accidents, Animals, Canada, Imagery, Moose, News, TvCanadian News
Canadian News: Quebec snowmobiler dies after driving under a moose.
Apple, Computers, Decals, Imagery, Laptops, Mac, Macbook, Stickers, TechnologyCreative Apple MacBook Stickers
A collection of creative Apple MacBook stickers & decals.
Animals, Giraffes, ImageryLet’s Get You Home Buddy
Two giraffe having problems getting home.
Beer, Imagery, RacistHow People From Around The World Open Beer
People from around the world opening beer in their own unique ways.
Bob Hope, Imagery, Johnny Cash, Kevin Bacon, Steve JobsDon’t Let Kevin Bacon Die
20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have No Cash, No Hope and No Jobs. Please don’t let Kevin Bacon die.
America, Democracy, PoliticalHow To Know When You’ve Met A Democrat
Just in case you have trouble knowing when you’ve met a Democrat…
Animals, Animated, Hamsters, ImageryHamster Flying
How to make your hamster fly…
Bogans, Imagery, Iphone, SpeakersBogan Bass
Bogan Bass: Yet somehow still better than Beats by Dr Dre.
GeekyHuman Hotfix
Hotfix Patch for Humans released.
Food, Imagery, PizzaI Just Burned 1500 Calories In About Five Minutes
I just burned 1500 calories in about five minutes. I forgot the pizza was in the oven.
Aboriginal, Australia, RacistAboriginal Spongebob Spotted In Cairns
Aboriginal Spongebob spotted in Cairns.
Children, Families, Imagery, Parenting, SchoolWhen I Grow Up… I Want To Be Like Mommy!
I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer…
Imagery, PhonesPhone Tails
That’s right dear, our ancestors had tails.
Geeky, ItHow To Please Your IT Department
How to please your IT department.
Bananas, Food, Hats, ImageryBanana Hat
Banana hat…
Geeky, Imagery, Movies, Star WarsStar Wars
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…
Imagery, Michael Jackson, Performers, SingersMichael Jackson Is Dead
You Can Come Out Now…
Cars, ImageryHome Mechanics
Home Mechanics and their cars.
Computer Games, ImageryVideo Games Ruined My Life
Video games ruined my life. Good thing I have two more.
Jokes, Punography, PunsPunography
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me…
Homework, Imagery, SchoolSelf Referencing Homework
What has been your greatest accomplishment so far?
Beer, Geeky, Imagery, WorkUltimate Camouflage
An office beer fridge…
Geeky, ItDeclaration Of A Software Professional
Declaration of a Software Professional.
SexistMen Vs. Women
Men versus women…
Alcohol, Books, Imagery, WineBook Club
My book club only reads wine labels.
Animals, DogsTalking Dog For Sale
A man sees a sign outside a house – “Talking Dog for Sale.”
Computers, Geeky, ItComputer Quotes
Computer quotes.
PoliticalBush And The Queen
While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen…
Cars, Geeky, Imagery, SqlSpeed Camera Hack
Car with SQL injection taped to the front.
Africa, Apple, Imagery, Ipad, StarvingThinner Than Ever
Thinner than ever.
Arthur C Clarke, Astrology, QuotationsI Don’t Believe In Astrology
I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re sceptical.
Imagery, Risqué, SignsPlease Use Finger
Pen is broken - please use finger.
George Bush, Imagery, Iran, Political, Weapons Of Mass Destruction, WmdI Can’t Believe The “WMD” Trick Is Working Again With Iran
I can’t believe the “WMD” trick is working again with Iran. Suckers…
Advertising, Food, Fountain, Imagery, Tomato Sauce, WoolworthsBuy Two & Receive A Free Fountain Face!
Buy two and receive a Free Fountain Face!
Australia, Imagery, Matches, Pauline Hanson, Political, Redheads, RednecksRednecks
Redneck Matches…
Imagery, MoviesThere Are Three Kinds Of People: Impatient, Patient, And Rich.
There are three kinds of people: Impatient, patient, and rich.
Animals, Cats, Ducks, Imagery, Robots, Sharks, VacuumsRobot Vacuum Cat Shark Duck Chase
Robot Vacuum Cat Shark Duck Chase.
Roadwork, Shovels, WorkersWe Forgot Our Shovels
A road crew foreman calls into the shop. Foreman: “We have a problem.”
Food, ImageryPeanut Delivery
Peanut Delivery…
Alcohol, Australia, Bob Hawke, Imagery, Oxford, PoliticalBob Hawke’s Yard Of Ale
While at university at Oxford in 1963, Bob Hawke, former Prime Minister of Australia, entered the Guinness Book of Records here at the Turf Tavern after downing a yard of ale (that’s just over 2½ pints!) in just 11 seconds.
Animals, ImageryNot Allowed
When a dog is all out of luck.
Cars, ReligiousRoad Rage
Two cars were waiting at a stoplight. The light turned green, but the man didn’t notice it…
Alcohol, Imagery, SexistLet’s Go For A Drink…
Goldstar Beer Ads: What goes through the mind of men and women when they’re asked to go for a drink…
Animals, Irish, RacistIrish Pets
Two Irish men walk into a pet shop…
Batman, Imagery, Superman, WonderwomanIt Is Such A Drag When Someone In The Group Can’t Fly…
It is such a drag when someone in the group can’t fly… forcing everybody else to have to ride up the elevator too…
Accidents, Cars, Imagery, Seatbelts, SexistNew Seatbelt Design: 45% Less Car Accidents!
A man driving a car while a woman sits beside him, with her seatbelt across her mouth, preventing her from commenting.
Computer Games, Computers, ImageryPlay Outside
It’s a beautiful day. I really want you to go outside and play.
Archaeology, Canada, Cars, Imagery, SnowCanadian Archaeology
Canadian Archaeology: Digging a car out from under the snow
Alligators, Animals, Crocodiles, ImageryHow To Tell Alligators And Crocodiles Apart
It’s not that difficult to tell alligators and crocodiles apart…
Animals, ImageryGeneral Hierarchical Management Structure
I’ve never seen a Flow Chart described so clearly.
Animals, Imagery, SealsThe Seal Of Approval
The Seal of Approval…
Imagery, SexistWomen: Yes, No, Maybe…
I think I have that women-talk all figured out…
Imagery, Risqué, SexistInteresting ATM
Man using a sexually provocative ATM.
Cameras, Cannons, Imagery, NikonI Have A Cannon
You have a Nikon? I have a Cannon.
Actors, Famous People, Imagery, Movie Stars, Robert De NiroRobert De Niro, De Faro
First Robert De Niro, then Robert De Faro.
Cars, ImageryHonked At A Prius
Honked at a Prius, scared the crap out of it.
Imagery, Jealousy, Relationships, SmsBaby Are You Jealous?
Baby are you jealous?
Imagery, Movies, PiratesHorny Pirate’s Worst Nightmare
What’s a horny pirate’s worst nightmare?
Computer Games, Imagery, SexistCall Of Duty: Women’s Edition
Call of Duty: Women’s Edition.
RisquéMonica
Monica walks into her dry cleaning store…
Imagery, NinjasNinja Exit
Ninja Exit Only
Imagery, RisquéPull Out & Save
Save up to $600!
Blackjack, Cards, Games, ImageryBlack Jack Black
Black Jack Black eating Cracker Jack playing a black jack while playing BlackJack with Jack Black who is threatening Black Jack Black with a Black Jack.
America, RacistAmerican State Mottos
American State Mottos…
Animals, Halloween, Imagery, SquirrelsHalloween Squirrel
A squirrel got its head stuck in a Halloween decoration and terrified a neighbourhood…
Facebook, ImageryI Think I Might Stay Home Tonight…
I think I might stay home tonight… Liver and Wallet like this.
Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, PhonesIPhone 6 Comparison
iPhone 6 Plus Comparison.
Hunger Games, Imagery, Katniss Everdeen, Kristen Stewart, Movies, Movie Stars, Smiling, TwilightKristen Stewart Smiles
I don’t always smile, but when I do, I don’t.
Cars, Imagery, RacingTimes Were Tough Before The GoPro
Times were tough before the GoPro…
Bananas, Food, George Bush, ImageryThis Banana Tastes Funny
“This banana tastes funny” – George Bush.
Comics, English, ImageryThe Accidental Conversation Loop
My greatest social fear: The Accidental Conversation Loop.
Parties, WatchesNot On My Watch
Lost my watch at a party once…
Animals, Cars, Driving, Imagery, KoalasDon’t Worry I’m Koalafied To Drive
Don’t worry I’m Koalafied to drive.
Advertising, ImageryColgate Dental Floss Advertising Campaign
Colgate have created an ingenious campaign to promote their dental floss.
Children, Imagery, Sexist, ToysTo Avoid Perpetuating Gender Stereotypes
To avoid perpetuating gender stereotypes, I gave my daughter a mix of dolls and toy cars to play with. This is what happened…
Imagery, Risqué, SupermanSuper Boner
Super-boner: A super problem.
SexistPerfect Riddle
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met…
Bikes, Geeky, It, SexistAn IT Student Is Walking Along With His Bike…
An IT student is walking along with his bike…
Australia, PoliticalCostello’s Reward For Being Loyal
Costello’s reward for being loyal…
Blonde, Imagery, SexistBlonde Geometry
Attached is problem 3 on a geometry examination…
ImageryBatman Downsized
Batman forced to downsize with increase in petrol prices…
Bras, Imagery, New Zealand, Racist, Risqué, SportThe All Blacks Bra
Introducing the New Zealand All Blacks Bra. All the support, but no cup.
Animals, Dogs, ImageryFridge Magnets
Well, tell me, Randy. Has someone eaten all the refrigerator magnets again?
Computers, GeekyRandom Number
A simple function to return a random number.
Religious, RisquéSisters Of St Francis
Sisters of St. Francis House of Prostitution…
Girls, Imagery, Moon, Photography, Sexist, Space, WomenWent To The Moon, Took 5 Photos. Went To The Bathroom, Took 37 Photos.
Went to the moon, took 5 photos. Went to the bathroom, took 37 photos.
Cars, ImageryGarage Door Covers
Amusing garage door covers
Comics, Imagery, VeganI Am Going Vegan
I am going vegan
Army, WarAmerican Nun
A deserter GI was running down a road escaping from two MPs…
Australia, SexistAussie Men
Aussie men… struggling with the booze…
Animals, ImageryWireless Technology
“It is a bit freaky with this wireless technology”
Imagery, Jobs, WorkHonesty: Your Greatest Weakness
Interviewer: What would you consider to be your greatest weakness?
Children, Imagery, ParentingAn Angry Child
If she doesn’t put me down in about two seconds, I will be forced to use my fist!
Arguments, English, Grammar, ImageryArgument Typo
Heh I was almost forced to face the fact that my argument was bad but I see here that you made a typo hahaha tough luck pal.
Animals, Penguins, SleepIf Penguins Have Knees
3 out of 4 voices in my head want to sleep (the other wants to know if penguins have knees!)
Campbell Newman, Imagery, Political, QueenslandCampbell Newman: Public Service: You Can Trust Me
[Campbell Newman laughing] …and then I said to the public service… you can trust me…
Animals, Drugs, ImageryFlying Ants
How ants began to fly…
Buses, ImageryGo Home Bus, You’re Drunk!
Go home bus, you’re drunk!
Cars, ImageryThe Park Anywhere Button
Self-explanatory really.
Animals, Cats, Imagery, Mayans, PredictionsWorst Apocalypse Ever
[A grumpy cat the day the Mayan calendar ended] “Still Here. Worst Apocalypse Ever.”
Alcohol, Cooking, Imagery, WineCooking With Wine
I tried cooking supper with wine tonight. Didn’t go so well. After 5 glasses I forgot why I was even in the kitchen.
Animals, Chickens, Eggs, Imagery, SignsBoneless Chicken
Boneless Chicken
Animals, Ducklings, Ducks, ImageryBeware Of Cute Duckling Scam
Beware of Cute Duckling Scam…
Animals, Dieting, DogsPurina Diet
The Purina Pet Food Diet.
ImageryMicrophone Eyes
Microphone Eyes.
Imagery, Winnie The PoohPooh Everywhere
Watch your step, there’s pooh everywhere!
Animals, ImageryUsed Cows
Used Cows for Sale.
Knock Knock, PolicePolice: Knock Knock
Police: Knock Knock. Me: Who is it? Police: It’s the police.
PhrasesWhen Someone Yells “STOP”…
When someone yells “STOP”, I never know if it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammertime, or I should collaborate and listen…
Fonts, Imagery, TypographyBe Bold
Be bold or italic. Never regular.
Money, SexistFemale Financial Planning
Women are so much better at financial planning than men.
Imagery, PhonesJester App
Sorry–you've been replaced by an app…
Bikes, Imagery, NoticesBicycles Chained To These Railings Will Be Removed Without Notice.
Bicycles chained to these railings will be removed without notice. This is a notice, you idiot!
PoliticalLabel Instructions
French Label Instructions
Imagery, RacistHow To Be Black
How to be Black: An Instructional Book.
Alcohol, ImageryAlcohol Research
Bum holding sign “Need Cash for Alcohol Research”.
ImageryBribing Santa
Dear Santa, if you leave a new bike under the tree, I will give you the antidote to the poison I put in the milk.
Aztecs, Imagery, Mayans, OreosMayan, Aztec And Oreos
Mayan, Aztec and Oreos…
Alcohol, Goon, Imagery, Logan, Police, RacistLargest Goon Bust In Logan’s History
Logan police in conjunction with the A.F.P. hauled in the largest goon bust in Logan’s history. With an estimated street value of $39.
ImagerySmile
Smile…
Books, ImageryRead Your Book Case
A bookcase worth reading.
Imagery, Psychotherapists, SignsPsycho The Rapist
Psycho the Rapist It’s one word George!
Fruit, Grapes, ImageryBeware The Grapes Of Wrath
Beware the Grapes of Wrath.
Blonde, SexistA Young Brunette Goes To The Doctor...
A young brunette goes to the doctor…
Advertising, Apple, Computers, Geeky, Imagery, MacMac Weed
A take-off of the Apple Macintosh switch ads.
Batman, Imagery, WikileaksWikileaks
Bruce Wayne!
Animals, Animated, Dogs, Imagery, TonguesDog Tongue
A dog with a very long tongue.
Imagery, PoliticalMad Magazine’s Boy Grows Up
The boy from Mad Magazine morphing into George Bush.
Australia, Cars, Floods, Imagery, MechanicalDunno Mate, Maybe She’s Flooded?
Dunno mate, maybe she’s flooded?
Blonde, SexistBlonde Betting
A very attractive blonde woman arrived at a Vegas casino…
MedicalSeek And Find You…
I shall seek and find you…
Exams, Imagery, Signs, University, UqIn Class Vs. In Your Exam
In class vs. in your exam.
Imagery, Math, SchoolI’ll Just Be A Stripper.
Screw this: I’ll just be a stripper.
Animals, Imagery, RisquéOld Style Birth Control
Old Style Birth Control.
Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryAnimals That Didn’t Expect Their Humans To Come Home So Early!
Animals that didn’t expect their humans to come home so early!
Cooking, Imagery, Smoke DetectorsWhat Smoke Detectors Warn You About
What smoke detectors warn you about.
Advertising, Cigarettes, Imagery, Risqué, Sexist, VintageBlow In Her Face
Blow in her face and she'll follow you anywhere.
Animals, Cats, ImageryHello Kitty
It’s sickeningly cute. Perhaps literally if its expression is anything to go by…
Mayans, Movies, Predictions, The Hobbit, TolkienMayans Predicting The Hobbit Movie
Keep calm. The Mayans were simply counting down to The Hobbit movie.
Harry Potter, Imagery, Magic, Risqué, WandsReplace The Word “wand” With “dick” In Any Sentence In Harry Potter
Replace the word “wand” with “dick” in any sentence in Harry Potter…
Animated, Coffee, ImageryAnimated Coffee
Coffee with emotion.
Babies, Imagery, PregnancyHow Babies Are Made
How babies are made (with an air pump).
Geeky, InternetCannot Find The Damn File
Cannot find the damn file…
Imagery, Topgear, TvIs There Anything Worse Than A Lego For Stepping On In The Middle Of The Night?
Is there anything worse than a Lego for stepping on in the middle of the night? A landmine.
Imagery, Risqué, SexSex Tape
I made a sex tape. Shhh!
Imagery, Motorbikes, SportOh Look, A Penny
Oh look, a penny!
Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryJust Being A Cat
Dog attacks person. Put dog to sleep. Cat attacks person. LOL, jus’ bein’ a cat.
Food, Imagery, SexistBut God, She Won’t Even Make Me A Sandwich…
But God, She Won’t Even Make Me a Sandwich…
Animals, Imagery, Spiders, ZombiesZombie Apocalypse Spider
I laugh at your claims to bravely take on a zombie apocalypse, when most of you can’t stand up to a spider.
Animals, Cats, Imagery, SmsCat Facts
Thanks for signing up for Cat Facts!
Australia, Imagery, Logan, RacistAll Trades Logan
All Trades Logan.
Australia, Gillard, PoliticalPatriotic Retirement Plan
Ms Gillard’s Patriotic Retirement Plan.
English, Grammar, ImageryComforting A Grammar Nazi
When comforting a grammar nazi, I always say softly, “there, their, they’re”
Australia, Football, Imagery, Muslim, Racist, SportWell, I Guess We’ll Beheading Home Now
Well, I guess we’ll beheading home now…
Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, Shoes, VintageWhere She Belongs
Keep her where she belongs…
Cars, Drugs, Imagery, PoliceHow High Are You?
How High Are You? No Officer, it’s “Hi, how are you”.
Computers, ImageryTimes Change
…but other things don’t.
Feminists, Imagery, Lightbulbs, Sexist, WomenHow Many Feminists Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Don’t be silly, feminists can’t change anything!
Cats, Imagery, MailboxesMailman Jumped 15 Feet
Mailman jumped 15 feet. Dog was right. This is fun.
Earth, Imagery, Risqué, Solar SystemDon’t Masturbate
Don’t Masturbate!
Business Cards, Geeky, Imagery, Notepad, WindowsNotepad Business Card
A business card styled to look like Windows Notepad.
Doorbells, Imagery, Logan, RacistLogan Doorbell
To ring door bell, connect wires.
Animals, Boobs, Imagery, SlothsLook At This Boob
Look at this boob. This is a nice boob.
Sexist, WorkDon’t Copy If You Can’t Paste
Don’t copy if you can’t paste…
Australia, Imagery, Kevin Rudd, PoliticalKevin Rudd’s Ego
Kevin Rudd’s Ego.
Animals, Eggs, Giraffes, ImageryGiraffe Egg
Giraffe Egg.
WorkExecutive Test
The following short quiz consists of four questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a “professional”…
Animals, Cows, Horses, ImageryThis Guy’s An Idiot! Quick, Take A Picture!
This guy’s an idiot! Quick, take a picture!
Balloons, Cars, ImageryMissile Balloons
Missile Balloons.
Aeroplanes, Aircraft, Imagery, WarRequesting Air Support
Requesting Air Support! “Believe in yourself. You can do it!”
Imagery, Posters, ScienceLost Wormhole
Do not attempt capture because you’ll totally screw with the space/time continuum bro.
Alphabet, Games, ImageryAlphabet Game
The Alphabet Game is a car game played to amuse travellers on long car rides.
Animals, Boobs, Bras, Cats, ImageryBooby Trap
Nooo! It’s a booby trap!
Stress, WorkStress Management
A stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological texts.
Animals, ImageryCat Legs
There really isn’t much else to say about this.
ReligiousThe Pope Is Busted
After getting all of Pope John Paul’s luggage loaded into the limo…
Animals, Fish, Girls, ImagerySaved A Fish From Drowning
Here is a heart warming picture of a little girl that saved a fish from drowning.
Dating, Imagery, Relationships, SexistAnd Then I Said
And Then I Said… The Differences Between Boys & Girls.
Computers, GeekyOperating System Airlines
Operating System Airlines.
Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery, WorkMario: Happy
Quit your day job and do what makes you happy.
America, Imagery, Political, SpyingMy Computer Hard Drive Crashed. NSA Won’t Send Me Their Backup Copy.
My computer hard drive crashed. NSA won’t send me their backup copy.
Boats, Burials, Cemetries, Funerals, Imagery, SexistBoat Funeral
A funeral procession pulled into a cemetery. Several carloads of family members followed a black truck towing a boat with a coffin in it…
Guns, Imagery, Mp3, Mp4, Mp5Well, That Escalated Quickly
Well, that escalated quickly.
Facebook, Imagery, Sexist, Sport, VolleyballLadies Beach Volleyball
Just been watching Ladies Beach Volleyball, and there’s already been a wrist injury… but I should be OK by Friday.
Imagery, Jokes, ScrabbleScrabble Jokes
I accidentally swallowed some scrabble tiles… My next dump could spell disaster.
ImagerySense
…this picture makes none.
Imagery, MotivationalSomeone Out There Cares
I want you to know that someone out there cares. Not me, but someone does.
Computer Games, Imagery, MarioIt’s A-me, Mario!
Mario emerging from a drainpipe.
Computers, Geeky, ImagerySpeed Reader
Wow you read that fast! You must be a speed reader!
Accidents, Buses, Imagery, Rivers, Wildlife DocumentariesA Wild Bus Drinking Water
And here we see a wild bus drinking water from a river.
America, Animals, Australia, Britain, Cows, India, Irish, PoliticalYou Have Two Cows
The eponymous cows is used to demonstrate the advantages and flaws of certain economic systems.
Food, ImageryI Love The Smell Of Pixel In The Morning
I Love the Smell of Pixel in the Morning…
ImageryMissed You...
Image of a soldier pointing a gun towards the camera with caption “When you first left, I missed you badly… I WONT THIS TIME”
Animated, Fighting, Imagery, WweThrown Out Of The Ring
Thrown out of the Ring.
RisquéThe Hypnotist
It was entertainment night at the senior centre and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill…
Geeky, InternetDiary Of An AOL Luser
Diary of an AOL Luser.
Imagery, ToiletsWalked Into A Public Bathroom
Walked into a public bathroom. Saw this and heard “hello?”
ImageryLow Battery Warning
Plug in or find another power source. Or panic now!
Imagery, JokeHow Many Alzheimer’s Patients Does It Take?
To get to the other side!
Dyslexia, Imagery, Sex, Shirts, TshirtsI Have Sex Daily
I have sex daily! I mean dyslexia! Fcuk.
Camping, Grammar, Imagery, TentsYou Can’t Run Through A Campground
You can’t run through a campground. You can only ran, because it’s past tents.
Money, Quotations, SchwarzeneggerHaving More Money Doesn’t Make You Happier
Having more money doesn’t make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I’m just as happy as when I had 48 million.
Imagery, RisquéDangers Of Masturbation
The Dangers of Masturbation.
Children, Grace, Prayers, ReligiousSix Year Old Praying
A mother invited some people to dinner…
Animals, Dogs, Imagery, SpidersSpider Dog
Spider Dog…
Epilepsy, Imagery, PostersSeize The Day
Seize The Day: Sign up for the Epilepsy Awareness Walk.
Art, Geeky, ImageryNational Portrait Gallery
National Portrait Gallery. National Landscape Gallery…
Imagery, RisquéThumb War
One, two three, four. I declare a thumb war…
Flies, Ipad, NewspapersModern Newspapers
I was visiting my daughter last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper…
America, Imagery, North Korea, Obama, RacistNorth Korea: I Will Destroy America
North Korea: I will destroy America! Obama: Too late!
Cars, Imagery, MessagesThe 710 Cap
Hun I have a problem in my car…
Bacon, ImageryTen Pieces Of Bacon
If I had 10 pieces of bacon, and you took 4, what would you have? Yes, that’s right you’d have a black eye and a bruised hand.
ImageryMcDonald’s Reaches Africa
McDonald’s reaches Africa.
Dalai Lama, Daleks, Dr Who, Imagery, Reincarnation, TvDalek Lama
Reincarnate! Reincarnate!
Agony Aunt, Cheating, Clinton, Dear Abby, Dear Abby, Political, RelationshipsDear Abby, My Husband Is A Liar And A Cheat…
My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything…
Animals, Imagery, ZebrasI Love You Zebra
Bite marks are love notes written in flesh. I love you zebra.
Drugs, Food, ImageryEminem Drug Bust
Eminem Drug Bust.
English, GrammarEnglish
Let’s face it - English is a crazy language.
Birth Control, Imagery, RisquéEffective Birth Control
The most effective birth control method known to man.
WorkHow To Get A Day Off Work
How to get time off in the public service…
Geeky, InternetUsing AOL? Mind If We LOL?
Using AOL? Mind if we LOL?
Animals, ImageryJust Checking
“Just doing a spot-check to see what you’re doing… Yup, sitting at your computer again!” The expression on this ostrich’s face is excellent.
Aliens, ImageryFunniest Alien Fan Art I’ve Seen
Funniest Alien Fan Art I’ve Seen.
Bananas, Food, Imagery, SausagesBanana Sausage
Banana sausage…
Al Qaeda, Bin Laden, Imagery, Political, TerrorismI Usually Get 9/11
I don’t always get rated on my terrorism attacks, but when I do, I usually get 9/11.
Animals, Imagery, Johnny Depp, Movie Stars, SpidersI’m Really Afraid Of Johnny Depp
Research shows that if you’re afraid of spiders, you’re more likely to find one in your bedroom. I’m really afraid of Johnny Depp.
BabiesA Baby’s Laughter Is One Of The Most Beautiful Sounds You’ll Ever Hear
A baby’s laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you’ll ever hear. Unless it’s 3 AM, you’re home alone, and you don’t have a baby.
America, Congress, Imagery, It Crowd, PoliticalCongress: Have You Tried Turning It Off And On Again?
Congress: have you tried turning it off and on again?
Imagery, SpicesSeasons Greetings
Seasons Greetings
Animals, Bears, Imagery, PenguinsDo One Brave Thing Today
Do one brave thing today… then run like hell!
Bankruptcy, Divorce, Imagery, LiquorBankruptcy, Divorce, Liquor
Bankruptcy, Divorce, Liquor.
Animals, Bananas, Dogs, Food, ImageryBanana Dogs
Banana Dogs.
Cartoons, Food, ImageryChocolate Pudding
It’s four o’clock in the morning. Why on earth are you making chocolate pudding?
Illusion, ImageryMoving Illusion
A psychedelic illusion where a brightly coloured non-moving image appears to be pulsating in and out.
Cars, Imagery, PoliceMisleading The Public
$100 for speeding and $250 for misleading the public…
Imagery, SpidersSpider’s Remember
Remember when you threw a shoe at me and I fell somewhere behind the bed? I remember too.
Advertising, Clothing, Fashion, Imagery, SexistWhy Men Die Before Women
Why men die before women.
SexistA Love Story With A Happy Ending
Once upon a time, a bloke asked a girl “Will you marry me?”
Facebook, ImageryBe The First Of Your Friends To Like This Post.
A post with a poster on it, “Be the first of your friends to like this post”.
Illusion, ImageryWhat Kind Of Sorcery Lets These Two Blocks Be The Same Color?
One is dark, one is light. One is gray, one is white. These are obviously two different blocks with two different colors right? Wrong. The two blocks are the same color.
Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery, SexistXBOX Girlfriend
A real girlfriend does not complain when her boyfriend is on his xbox…
ImageryMartha Stewart’s New Digs
Martha Stewart’s New Digs
Acronyms, Imagery, Iphone, PhonesIDK LY TTYL
IDK LY TTYL: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later.
SexistCelibacy
Many aspects of human sexuality are very puzzling…
Imagery, RisquéFlower Porn
Even flowers do it…
Imagery**** I Forgot To Turn Off The Oven
**** I forgot to turn off the oven.
Farmers, Imagery, Men, Swimming, WomenThe Clever Old Man
One evening an old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond…
Cosmetics, ImageryPapercut Locator
Papercut Locator.
Cars, Imagery, MosquitosA Mosquito With A Helmet
Mosquitos flying towards a car.
Flowcharts, Imagery, SexistHow To Argue With A Woman
A flowchart.
Imagery, Joke, Mayans, PredictionsMayan Joke Set-Up
Heh… I’ve just thought of a joke with the longest set-up ever! Cool! I’ll fetch a scribe…
ImageryWhy Women Live Longer Than Men
Genetics - Why women live longer than men.
Aboriginal, Australia, RacistAboriginal Eggs
Two Aboriginal lads are riding along the Hume Highway on a motorbike…
Coffee, Hipsters, Imagery, SignsHow Did The Hipster Burn His Tongue?
How did the hipster burn his tongue? He sipped on his coffee before it was cool.
Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Linux, Mac, WindowsUpdate Available
An update is available for your computer…
Computers, GeekyMicrosoft Lightbulb Jokes
Microsoft Lightbulb Jokes.
Geeky, Imagery, MeditationGeek Meditation Session
In your mind’s browser, clear your cache… now delete your history… now navigate to a blank web page…
Animals, Books, Dolphins, Imagery, LibrariesTo Punch A Dolphin In The Mouth
5 very good reasons to punch a dolphin in the mouth.
Imagery, Risqué, Tape Measures, ToolsBreakdown Of A Man’s Tape Measure Usage
Breakdown of a man’s tape measure usage
Boobs, Cars, Imagery, Risqué, SexistShe Might Scratch The Paint
I know what you’re thinking… she might scratch the paint.
Blogs, Grammar, Imagery, SpellingMisspelt Blog Post
You wouldn't think anyone reads my blog. I haven’t got a comment in weeks. Misspell something…
Cars, ImageryFail Towing
Thank You for Using Fail Towing, Inc.
Animals, Chickens, Chicks, ImageryHow To Pick Up Chicks
Instructional guide on how to pick up chicks.
Sexist, WomenWords Women Use
Words women use, and what they really mean.
Imagery, Ocd, ShirtsI Have CDO. It’s Like OCD But All The Letters Are In Alphabetical Order.
I have CDO. It’s like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order. As they should be.
ImageryBird Flu
I’m not worried about this bird flu…
Animals, Carrots, Food, Imagery, Rabbits, VegetablesSuccess Is Not Always What You See
Success is not always what you see…
ImageryCharlie Sheen For Halloween
No, you can’t be Charlie Sheen for Halloween.
Apple, Imagery, Ipad, Portal, Technology, ValveValve’s “Portal”, As An IPad Decoration.
Valve’s “Portal”, as an iPad decoration.
Alcohol, ImagerySlimming Drink
You look so much better after a glass or two!
Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, MsnMSN Shuts Down
We reminisce about “the good old days” of MSN…
Chess, Feminists, Imagery, Sexist, WomenHow To Play Chess
How to Play Chess: Whites go first. The Queen must protect the King.
Australia, Chairs, Disaster, Earthquake, Imagery, MelbourneThe 2012 Melbourne Earthquake
The 2012 Melbourne Earthquake: We will rebuild.
Canada, RacistAn Ontarian Wanted To Become A Newfie…
An Ontarian wanted to become a Newfie…
Imagery, RocksMy Pet Rock Ran Away
My Pet Rock Ran Away…
English, GrammarYour There
They’re they are.
Australia, Democracy, Political, RacistThe Ant And The Grasshopper
The Original Story of the Ant and the Grasshopper.
Imagery, Jail, Logan, RacistI’m From Logan
I killed a man. You? I’m from Logan.
Harry Potter, Imagery, SmsMaster Has Presented Dobby With Clothes! Dobby Is Free!
Well I’m grounded. WTF did you do this time? My Mum asked me to do the laundry and threw a sock at me… I ran away screaming “Master has presented Dobby with clothes! Dobby is free!”
JokesComplimentary Pretzels
A guy walks into a bar and takes a seat. Before he can order a beer, the bowl of pretzels in front of him says “Hey, you’re a handsome fellow.”
Animals, Dogs, ImageryFree Puppy
Free puppy…
Imagery, Signs, WarningsThrew Caution To The Wind
Looks like someone threw caution to the wind.
ImageryI’m So Sick Of Not Being Understood!
I’m so sick of not being understood! What do you mean?
Cars, Imagery, Time TravelAnnual Meeting Of Time Travellers
Annual Meeting of Time Travellers.
Imagery, Seniors, WarDrafting Guys Over 60
New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!
Comments & Other Similar Social Data
Comments, Facebook Open Graph, & Other Similar Social Data.
Animals, Birds, Imagery, Missing Posters, Paper, Pigeons, PostersHave You Seen This Bird?
I met this bird by the tree near the library. We chilled for like, 5 minutes, & then without any warning he just flew away. We really hit it off. So if you see him, please let him know I miss him.
English, GrammarThat’s What She Said
That’s what she said.
Animals, Camels, Children, Donkeys, ImageryYour Child Is Being Eaten By A Camel
Your child is being eaten by a camel. Do you… a) Save your child, or b) Take a photo?
Imagery, Toilet PaperToilet Paper
A piece of toilet paper saving another piece…
Africa, Animals, ImageryRhino Painting
A rhinoceros painting…
Imagery, Real EstateLaminated Room
List of reasons why a room would have to contain a bucket and be almost entirely laminated: 1) Bad reasons.
Animals, Beaches, Imagery, Signs, Stingrays, WarningsShuffle Your Feet For Stingrays
Shuffle your feet for Stingrays: One of the many dangers in Australian waters.
Chat, Imagery, InternetChat Rooms
Chat Rooms – you never really know.
Fire, ImageryFire Distinguisher
Fire Distinguisher: Yep, that’s fire…
Imagery, Memory, Protests, RalliesBetter Memory
What do we want? Better memory! When do we want it? Want what?
Imagery, Phones, SmsChosen One
I’m the chosen one…
America, France, Ireland, Irish, Racist, RisquéThe Penis Study
The American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man’s penis was larger than the shaft…
Imagery, SexistIron Man Competition
Ironman Competition - the way it should be…
Accidents, Cars, Imagery, TargetMissed Target
Missed Target: So close…
Crocs, Imagery, Shoes, WeddingsWedding Crocs
Wedding Crocs.
Beer, Computers, GeekyIf Beer Was Like Operating Systems...
If Beer was like Operating Systems…
Imagery, Notices, Paper, SignsPaper Says Yes
Would you like a little piece of paper that says yes to hang onto during the tough times ahead? (Maybe it will help)
Medical, RisquéBetter Than A Flu Shot
Better than a Flu Shot
Capitalism, Imagery, PoliticalSuffering From Capitalism
Feeling sad and depressed? Are you anxious? Worried about the future? Feeling isolated and alone? You might be suffering from Capitalism.
Acrobats, Books, ImageryAcrobat Reader
An acrobat reader…
Animals, Gorillas, Imagery, King Kong, Mobiles, Phones, VodafoneNo Signal
The “Vodafone Effect”.
SchoolThe History Of The World
The History of the World, as written by the next generation…
Alcohol, Beer, Fitness, ImageryI Wonder What I Would Look Like With A Six Pack?
I wonder what I would look like with a six pack? Ahh, much better!
Advertising, Imagery, Rice, Risqué, Sexist, VintageVa-Rice-Ity: My Man Likes Something Unexpected…
My man likes something unexpected now and then. That’s why I serve him rice.
Food, ImageryWurst Nightmare
Hi. I’m your wurst nightmare.
Animals, Dogs, Imagery, Werewolves, WolvesAware Wolf
A werewolf. A wearwolf. A warewolf. Aware wolf.
Animals, Cats, Imagery, Snow, SnowballsThe Cat & The Snowball
The Cat & the Snowball.
Illusion, ImageryAfterburn - Whom Do You See?
Relax and concentrate on the four small dots in the middle of the picture…
Australia, Cricket, Imagery, VideoHow Cricket Looks To Most People
How Cricket Looks to Most People.
Babies, ImageryWomb Service
Hello, Womb Service? I’d like a double order of hot wings…
Education, Imagery, School, TeachersExplain These Bad Grades
1969: A child’s parents blame him for his bad grades. Today: A child’s parents blame his teacher for his bad grades.
Bikinis, Burqa, Imagery, Muslim, Racist, SexistWhat A Cruel Male-dominated Culture
It’s a male dominated culture, no matter how you look at it…
Imagery, SexistRealistic Remotes
Some more useful remote controls we would like to see.
Imagery, Risqué, SignsNo Public Motor Boating Permitted
No public motor boating permitted.
Cars, ImageryCar Alarms
Car alarms: They piss me off!
Imagery, Political, Politicians, Prostitutes, RisquéHonest Politician
Hi! I’m 32. I’m a politician and I’m honest. Hi. I’m 29, I’m a prostitute and I’m a virgin.
Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery90’s Gamer
Everytime I hear people complain about online gaming, I wish they could experience my pain of online gaming in the 90’s…
Cars, Imagery, Irish, RacistIrish Car
An advertisement in an Irish Newspaper…
Cars, Gardens, ImageryMajor Tom’s Ground Control
Major Tom’s Ground Control Lawn and Garden Management.
Cycling, Drugs, SportI Think It Is Just Terrible And Disgusting How Everyone Has Treated Lance Armstrong
I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he achieved, winning seven Tour de France races while on drugs. When I was on drugs, I couldn’t even find my bike.
Christian, Imagery, Jewish, Muslim, RacistAn Atheist, A Jew, And A Christian Walk Into A Bar…
An atheist, a Jew, and a Christian walk into a bar…
Drugs, Imagery, Meth, R2-d2, Robots, Star WarsMeth: Before & After
Meth: Before & After (or R2-D2 versus R2-FU).
Beer, SexistA Beer Before It Starts
A man came home from work, sat down in his favourite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, “Quick, bring me a beer before it starts”…
ImageryVegetative State
Vegetative State.
Alcohol, Drunk, ImagerySlur In Cursive
When I drink, I don’t slur my words… I speak in cursive.
Cars, Computer Games, ImageryLegend Of Zelda
A legend… of Zelda.
Animals, Imagery, JokeThe World’s Funniest Joke
The World’s Funniest Joke…
Animated, ImagerySpiderman
If Spiderman was a gay night-clubber…
Animals, Australia, Birds, Dingoes, Dolphins, Fish, Galahs, Imagery, Kangaroos, Koalas, Kookaburras, Parrots, Penguins, Snakes, Toads, TurtlesAccurate Animal Names: Australian Edition
Accurate Animal Names: Australian Edition
Australia, France, Imagery, Racist, RisquéAustralian Kiss
Australian Kiss: same as a French Kiss… but down under.
Fire, Fire Extinguishers, ImageryFire Extinguisher Fire
Fire Extinguisher Fire: What do you do now?
Apple, Imagery, Ios, PatentsOlden Day Slide To Unlock
Slide to unlock: Apple patent #1964022.
Imagery, Sexist, WomenFeminine Instincts
If a girl ever pulls out a knife on you during an argument, pull out some bread and mayo. Her feminine instincts will kick in and she’ll make you a sandwich.
Autocorrect, Imagery, Iphone, SmsBroken Penis
I broke my penis and it exploded all over my pants.
Imagery, MoviesTitanic Ice Bucket Challenge
Titanic ALS Ice Bucket Challenge: “I accept your ice water challenge”.
Children, Parenting, Risqué“Hi Honey. This Is Daddy. Is Mummy Near The Phone?”
Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mummy near the phone?
Fish, Imagery, MermaidsReverse Mermaid
You are alone on an uninhabited island. Which of these would you choose as your companion?
Campervans, Camping, Cars, ImageryNot A Happy Camper
Not a Happy Camper.
Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery, TechnologyCombo Hit: Streetfighter Style
Combo Hit: Streetfighter Style
Bottles, Imagery, Messages, UsbModern Day Message In A Bottle
A USB stick in a bottle lying on the beach.
Bananas, Carving, Food, Guns, Imagery, WeaponsBanana Gun
Banana gun…
Facebook, Imagery, TattoosTough Tattoos
Tough Tattoos: You Don’t Have to Like Me.
Australia, Brisbane, Computer Games, Explosions, Guns, Imagery, PoliceBrisbane, GTA Style
Queen Street Mall, Brisbane, GTA Style.
ImageryPositive For Coke
You’re fired Jack, the lab results just came back and you tested positive for Coke.
Animals, Cats, Godzilla, Imagery, KittensGodzilla Kitten
Terrifyingly cute…
GrammarI. Like. It. How. When. You. Read. This. The. Little. Voice. In. Your. Head. Takes. Pauses.
I. Like. It. How. When. You. Read. This. The. Little. Voice. In. Your. Head. Takes. Pauses.
Alcohol, Imagery, Irish, RacistIrish Yoga
Irish Yoga.
Animals, Joke, PigsThree Little Piggies
Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night…
Disclaimer, Copyright & Contact Information
Feel free to send me anything you think might amuse me.
Imagery, RisquéHebrew Cave Paintings
Written across the wall of the cave were the following symbols…
Credit Cards, Genies, Imagery, Sexist, WomenIrresistible To Women
Make me irresistible to women
Jokes, Pool, Puns, Sport, TreesWhat’s Green, Fuzzy, And If It Fell Out Of A Tree It Would Kill You?
What’s green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?
AudioTelstra Customer Service
An insight into the Telstra Customer Service Experience.
Africa, Imagery, RacistEvery 60 Seconds In Africa
Every 60 seconds in Africa… a minute passes.
GeekyQ209354 - HOWTO
How to RTFM…
Australia, Condoms, New Zealand, Racist, RisquéKiwi Condoms
Australia runs out of condoms…
Imagery, Signs, SpringSpring Is Here. I’m So Excited I Wet My Plants!
Spring is here. I’m so excited I wet my plants!
CatsHappy Pussy
A collection of amusing cat pictures.
Canada, Etiquette, ImageryHolding Doors
Holding Doors: A Question of Distance.
Irish, Racist, ReligiousAn Irish Daughter Had Not Been To Her Parent's House For Over Five Years...
An Irish daughter had not been to her parent’s house for over five years…
Children, Cleaning, Imagery, MopsStupid Child Efficiency Mop
Stupid Child Efficiency Mop. Wipe high-efficiently.
SexistMen Are Happier
Men are Happier: What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Ice Cream, ImageryI Scream Cone
I Scream Cone.
ImageryBefore Tweeting
In case of fire: Exit building before tweeting about it.
Children, Dating, Imagery, Internet, RisquéLittle Kid Lover
I’m signing up for an online dating service. I just need to pick a username. “Little Kid Lover”, that way people will know where my priorities are at.
Apple, Apples, Computers, Food, Imagery, Laptops, TechnologyMake Your Own Apple Laptop
Make your own Apple laptop the cheap—and healthy—way!
Animals, Imagery, ZebrasZebra Crossing
Zebra Crossing…
Droids, Imagery, Star WarsLook, Sir. Droids!
These are not the droids you are looking for.
Animals, Imagery, RacoonsOh… Hi… Umm… Meow?
Oh… hi… Umm… meow?
ImageryThe Ego Boost Urinal
The Ego Boost Urinal.
Animals, Dogs, Drugs, High, ImageryDog, How High Are You?
Dog, how high are you? Yes.
Accidents, Buses, Cars, Imagery, InsuranceDon’t You Suggest To Me What To Do
If you don’t have GIO Third Party Property Insurance, we suggest you don’t hit this bus.
Alligators, America, Animals, Australia, Bears, Birds, Crocodiles, Europe, Imagery, Moose, Puma, Rabbits, Sharks, Snakes, SpidersMost Dangerous Animals
How people in the colonies are still alive is beyond me…
America, Bear Arms, Constitution, Democracy, Imagery, Second AmendmentThe Second Amendment: The Right To Bear Arms
The second amendment gives Americans the right to bear arms. I think many have taken this out of context.
Animals, Horses, Imagery, Knights, Monty Python, Riding, TvCouldn’t Find My Coconut Shells.
Was gonna ride to work today. Couldn’t find my coconut shells.
Imagery, PoliceA Cop Just Pulled Me Over And Said “Papers”
A cop just pulled me over and said “Papers”… so I said “Scissors, I win” and drove off…
Imagery, SexistDifference Between Men And Women
The difference between men and women…
Communist, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, SoftwareCommunist Traitor
It looks like you’re a Communist traitor…
Imagery, RacistHas One Night Stand
Has one night stand, but way too many books to fit on it.
Bananas, Chris Brown, Food, Imagery, RihannaChris Brown & Rihanna Bananas
I can’t believe she didn’t press charges. It got worse when he posted the unpeeled photos of her.
Animals, Imagery, LlamaA Shaved Llama
A shaved Llama
Advertising, Guns, Imagery, Revolvers, VintageIsn’t It Time You Gave Yourself A Christmas Gift?
Isn’t it time you gave yourself a Christmas Gift?
ImageryTechnically Correct
…but still wrong.
Animals, Imagery, WhalesPaper, Scissors, Whale!
Scissors cut paper again! I hate this game…
Cars, Imagery, Movies, Pulp Fiction, The RockHave You Seen Pulp Fiction?
Have you seen Pulp Fiction? Yeah, but I didn’t like it.
Cars, PoliceSpeed Camera
Speed camera revenge…
Books, ImageryMystery Books
You have to find them first…
Imagery, WifiBasic Human Needs
Basic human needs… like Wi-Fi.
Computer Games, Imagery, Microsoft, XboxXbox One Vs. An Ordinary Brick
Xbox One vs. An Ordinary Brick: Price, DRM Free, Requires Internet, Region Locked…
Imagery, Sexist, Tv, WomenCooking Shows
If we watched cooking shows the way guys watch sports.
Communist, Computer Games, Geeky, ImageryA Case In Communism: The Super Mario Story
A Case in Communism: The Super Mario Story.
Animals, Chocolate, Dogs, Heaven, ImageryA Dog Dies: Can I Have Chocolate?
A dog dies and finds out chocolate killed him.
Out Of Breath
Dispatcher: Emergency Services, how may I help you?
Imagery, WorkMeetings
The practical alternative to work.
ReligiousCommon Belief
The belief that there was nothing…
SexistMen’s Rules
We always hear the rules from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side…
Animals, Dogs, ImageryHow The Hell Is The Ball Still In Your Hand?
How the hell is the ball still in your hand?
Imagery, Osama Bin Laden, Sport, Terrorists, Weight LiftingOsama Bin Liftin’
Osama Bin Liftin’
Computers, Geeky, ItStar Trek TNG Meets Microsoft
Star Trek TNG Meets Microsoft…
Cars, Computer Games, Geeky, ImageryGamers: The Mentality
Objects in mirror are losing.
Cpr, First Aid, Imagery, SchoolCPR Diagram
You’re next!
Geeky, Imagery, Movies, The MatrixThe Matrix
What is The Matrix?
ImagerySimple Eye Examination Test
A simple eye examination chart.
Comics, Imagery, Movies, WorkPopular Sayings #38
Dress for the job you want, not the one you have.
Board Games, Games, ImageryGroup Therapy
…is not going to make Q any less of a hated letter.
Internet, RisquéCybersex How-Not-To
Cybersex how it should not be…
Blacks, Imagery, RacistBlacks For Sale
They can still do that?
Beer, Imagery, Logan, Prams, Racist, Victoria BitterLogan Priorities
Logan Priorities.
America, Democracy, Imagery, TvWelcome To The USA
The Government where the money’s made up and the debt doesn’t matter.
Imagery, Phones, Risqué, SexPhone Sex
Phone Sex. You’re doing it wrong.
Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, VintageDormeyer Crying Wives
Wives: Look this ad over carefully. Circle the items you want for Christmas. Show it to your husband. If he does not go to the store immediately, cry a little…
ImagerySuperman’s Social Network Nightmare
Superman’s Social Network Nightmare.
Animals, Imagery, SlugsFeeling Sluggish
I’ve been feeling a bit sluggish…
Boats, Fishing, Imagery, Logan, RacistFishing, Logan Style
Fishing, Logan Style.
PoliticalMerry Christmas & A Happy New Year
Merry Christmas & A Happy New Year.
Apple, Computers, Imagery, Religious, Steve JobsHe’s Gonna Upgrade Your Tablets…
Moses, meet Steve. He’s gonna upgrade your tablets…
Imagery, RisquéAncient Japanese Proverb
Ancient Japanese Proverb. If you cannot understand Japanese, tilt your head to the right…
ImageryI See Dumb People
I see dumb people… They are everywhere!
Comics, Education, ImageryUnused Diploma.
I’d like to return this. It’s unused. This is your diploma. Cash is fine.
Driving, Sexist, WomenDamn Women Drivers
This morning on the freeway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Cadillac doing 110…
Imagery, PiracyPiracy Is Not Theft
Imagine your car gets stolen, but it’s still there in the morning.
Imagery, RisquéToo Long
Her: Do you want to her a joke about my vagina? Nevermind… you’ll never get it! Her: Do you want to her a joke about my vagina? Nevermind… you’ll never get it!
ReligiousThe Atheist & The Bear
The Atheist and the Religious Bear
Animals, Cats, DogsCats And Dogs
As seen in a dog’s diary…
Imagery, ScissorsI Run With Scissors
I run with scissors: It makes me feel dangerous.
Accidents, Helmets, Imagery, Jamaica, Motorbikes, Risqué, SexistWhat’s The Main Reason For Motorbike Accidents In Jamaica?
What’s the main reason for motorbike accidents in Jamaica?
Imagery, Mexico, RacistMexico’s National Sport
What is Mexico’s national sport? Cross country.
Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, SexistAre Those Yours?
…they’re turning out so big and cute!
Animals, Imagery, Seals, SharksDo Not Consume If Seal Is Broken!
Do not consume if seal is broken!
Fortune Cookies, ImageryYou Are Not Illiterate.
You are not illiterate.
Animals, Fish, Imagery, Love, Romance, SmsAnyways, Best Of Luck Finding Your Fish
Long story short, we’re in love. I know it seems sudden but life is sudden like that, you know? Anyways, best of luck finding your fish.
English, ImageryYou You Read The First Line Wrong?
What if I told you you read the first line wrong?
America, Animated, Imagery, Obama, PoliticalThanks, Obama
Thanks, Obama.
Idiots
Idiots everywhere…
Fonts, Imagery, Running, Sport, Usain BoltUsain Bold, Usain Italic
Usain Bolt: Usain Bold, Usain Italic.
Coathangers, Imagery, WarningsDo Not Swallow Coathangers!
Caution: Do Not Swallow Coathangers!
Animals, Imagery, RaccoonsGet Well Soon
A raccoon lies dead on the road, holding a “get well soon” balloon.
Geeky, JokesIP Jokes
I’d tell you a UDP joke, but you may not get it.
Drawings, Imagery, SignsDraw Bridge
A man drawing a bridge at a “draw bridge” sign.
Animals, Golf, Imagery, Sport, TurtlesWorld’s Largest Golf Ball
World’s largest golf ball. Gigantic turtle for scale.
Facebook, Imagery, MoneyHow To Make Money From Facebook
How to make money from facebook: 1) just go to “Account Settings”; 2) Press “Deactivate your account”; 3) Go to work.
SexistGuts Or Balls?
We’ve all heard about men having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them?
PilotsBlind Pilots
You know, Bob, one of these days, they’re going to scream too late, and we’re all gonna die…
Animals, Australia, Cockatoos, Flies, Imagery, Kangaroos, Kookaburras, Magpies, Possums, Snakes, Spiders, SunburnTypically Australian Problems
Some typically Australian problems that other people don’t face.
Helpful Hints
Helpful Hints
Imagery, Jobs, Pie Charts, Statistics, WorkChance Of Keeping Your Job If You’re Wrong More Than 75% Of The Time
Chance of keeping your job if you’re wrong more than 75% of the time.
SexistGirl’s And Boy’s Diaries
A girl and a boy and their diaries…
Mechanics, UnderwearAlways Wear Underwear
Always wear underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle…
Animals, Cats, Ducks, Imagery, SeagullsCat Duck
The Amazing Cat Duck! Or perhaps Cat Seagull?
Diving, Imagery, Sharks, Sign LanguageA Signal They Forgot To Teach You In Your Open Water Class.
Big shark behind you: A signal they forgot to teach you in your open water class.
Advertising, Boats, Imagery, Oceans, Oxi-clean, ShipsThe Power Of Oxi-Clean
The Power of Oxi-Clean.
Imagery, SnowDead Snowmen
Gruesomely dead snowmen.
Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryDear Dog
Dear Dog… a letter from the cat.
Geeky, ImageryVoice
Scrooge and Donald on IRC.
Racist, RedneckA Redneck Love Poem
Susie Lee done fell in love…
Geeky, Imagery, Ninjas, Pirates, ZombiesSurvival Tracking Guide
The Pirate, the Ninja, & the Zombie…
Animals, Animated, Bananas, Cats, ImageryCat & Banana
The cat and the banana.
Redheads, SexistRedheads
How do you get a redhead…
Redneck, TechnologyTechnology For Country Folk
Technology for Country Folk.
Apple, Computers, Imagery, Phones, Religious, Steve JobsI Have An APP For That!
Steve Jobs, 1955 – 2011.
Imagery, ShipsA Ship Shipping Ship Shipping Shipping Ships.
A ship shipping ship shipping shipping ships.
The Poodle And The Leopard
Experience trumps youth.
Animals, Computer Games, Games, Imagery, PhonesAngry Birds
Angry Birds attend Anger Management.
Brooms, Imagery, Parking, Sexist, Witches, WomenWomen Can’t Park
Who said that women can’t park?
Animals, Computer Games, Computers, Imagery, SpidersBravery
…in the face of spiders.
Babies, ImageryDraw Fake Eyebrows On Your Baby
Draw fake eyebrows on your baby. Then sit back and enjoy the humour.
Accidents, Cars, Imagery, TrucksThe Road To Success
On the road to success, there are no shortcuts…
Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Internet ExplorerBrowser Wars
Browser Wars: Chrome versus Firefox… and Internet Explorer…
Animals, JokePygmy Dinosaur Hunter
The Pygmy Dinosaur Hunter…
Bsod, Clippit, Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, WindowsWindows
Windows. Still the most used operating system, and undoubtedly the most abused.
Animals, Cats, Imagery, LionsA Cat With A Lion’s Mane Hat
A cat with a lion’s mane hat.
Animals, Bread, Dogs, Food, ImageryBread Dog
The Amazing Bread Dog.
Imagery, Numbers, Star WarsWhy Was Five Afraid Of Seven?
Why was Five afraid of Seven? Because Six Seven Eight.
Joke, MathMath Problem
John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now?
Marriage, SexistSecrets To A Happy Marriage
Secrets to a Happy Marriage…
Animals, Imagery, Iphone, PhonesIt’s A Whale
How do you have any friends…
InvisibleYou Can See Me?
Next time a stranger talks to me when I’m alone I will look at them shocked and just whisper quietly, “you can see me?”
Imagery, MusicI’m Not Just Another Brick In The Wall
We don’t need no education…
Animals, Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, OttersFilthy Hobitses
Filthy Hobitses
Imagery, SexistWoman With PMS
Woman with PMS.
Imagery, SexistCall The Rescue Squad!
I’m sorry dear. I can’t hear you. I’m in the kitchen, making you a sandwich.
Imagery, Political, Snowden, Spying, WikileaksEdward Snowden Buys A Plane Ticket From Moscow To Havana…
Snowden buys a plane ticket from Moscow to Havana. Over 30 journalists pay last-minute airfare for a ticket on the same flight. The doors shut, the plane takes off, and [Edward] Snowden is not on the plane. It’s a 16-hour flight.
Animals, JokeThe Dead Rabbit
The Dead Rabbit, aka The Worst Joke Ever…
Advertising, Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Phones, Samsung, Samsung Galaxy, TechnologyApple IPhone 20 & Samsung Galaxy S23 – Sword & Shield
A mock-up of the iPhone 20 and Samsung Galaxy S23, after the launch of the “taller” iPhone5 & the larger Galaxy S3.
Drugs, Homophobia, Imagery, Marijuana, MedicalMedical Marijuana
What disease is your medical marijuana relieving?
Beer, ChartsBeer Troubleshooting Chart
Beer Troubleshooting Chart.
Food, ImageryThrowing People
A tomato’s fear.
Imagery, RisquéPremature Ejaculators Anonymous
Man stating he ‘came too soon’ in front of sign stating ‘premature ejaculators anonymous’.
GeekyUnusual EBay Feedback
A+++! Would read this amusing page again…
Imagery, MenI'd Rather Break My Arms Than Take Two Trips
I'd rather break my arms than take two trips.
JokeExercise - Some Facts
Exercise… some facts.
Australia, Imagery, Kevin Rudd, PoliticalThe Many Hands Of Kevin Rudd
The many hand gestures of Kevin Rudd.
Dogs, ImageryMy Dog Bailey Tried To Steal Stuff Out Of My Daughter’s Purse.
My dog Bailey tried to steal stuff out of my daughter’s purse. He got stuck and came over to me for help.
Imagery, RisquéThe Exact Spot My Zipper Broke
The exact spot my zipper broke.
Famous People, Imagery, Movie StarsReese Witherspoon
Reese Withoutherspoon.
Imagery, Musicians, Rolling Stones, ZombiesZombies!
Zombies! Oh, wait… false alarm, it’s just the Rolling Stones… carry on!
Animals, Imagery, PigsBacon Seed
Bacon seed.
Jewellery, Jokes, Puns, RingsSomeone Stole My Mood Ring
Someone stole my mood ring.
Imagery, Monday, Punch, WorkThe Monday Punch
The Monday Punch: A man punched in the face.
Advertising, Babies, Beer, Imagery, Mothers, VintageHow Mother And Baby “Picked Up”
Blatz Beer: How Mother and Baby “Picked Up”.
Animals, Dogs, Imagery, RisquéBitches & Hose
Having so much fun…
Animals, Imagery, SealsSeal This Opening
I was told to seal this opening, so here I am.
Adoption, Babies, ImageryAdopted Baby
Dude, I’m joking, you are not adopted!
Bananas, Food, Imagery, ZucchinisGreen Banana
Green banana…
Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, Sauron, Traffic LightsKneel, Says The Demon Light
Stop says the red light, go says the green. Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between. Kneel, says the demon light, with its eye of coal. Sauron knows your licence plate, and stares into your soul.
Comedians, Comedy, Grammar, Hitler, Imagery, JapanOne Thing Led To Another
I hate when you’re reading something and you come across the phrase “one thing led to another”
Guns, Imagery, ToastToast Toasts Toast?
If guns don’t kill people, people kill people, does that mean…
Geeky, ItNetwork Truths
The Twelve Networking Truths.
For Sale, Imagery, Posters, PrintersPrinter For Sale
Printer For Sale. Works Terribly.
WorkPhysical Fitness
This department requires no physical fitness program.
Advertising, Australia, Billboards, CarsRAC Roadside Assistance Meltdown
You don’t want to be stuck out here.
English, VegetablesThe Correct Way To Spell Potato
The correct way to spell potato is “GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU”.
Coolers, Imagery, SexistIf A Man Says He Will Fix It, He Will
If a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months.
Animals, Cupcakes, Food, Imagery, LemursA Lemur Who Has Discovered The Wondrousness Of Cupcakes For The Fist Time.
A lemur who has discovered the wondrousness of cupcakes for the fist time.
Animals, Cats, ImageryJust Wait Until I’m Fully Charged
Just wait until I’m fully charged…
Image, Qut, UniversityQUT: University For The Real World
Will we find intelligent life?
Cables, Cables, Geeky, Imagery, UsbCables Exist In 4-dimensional Space
Proof USB cables exist in 4-dimensional space.
Helpline, Imagery, Phones, YogaYoga Emergency Hotline
Yoga Emergency Hotline, how may I help you?
Animals, Cats, Dogs, JokeWoof
How do you get a cat to bark like a dog?
Alcohol, Imagery, Marriage, WineSecrets To A Long, Happy Marriage
An old woman was sipping on a glass of wine…
Chinese, Imagery, Racist, Tattoos, WomenIf Chinese People Tattooed Lame English Words On Themselves…
If Chinese people tattooed lame English words on themselves…
Imagery, Movie Posters, PiranhasPiranhas On An Escalator
If I were you, I’d take the stairs…
Facebook, ImageryFacebook Illusion
Facebook: Providing the illusion you have friends since 2004!
Facebook, Imagery, NewspapersReal Life Facebook
I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles…
Animals, Imagery, Languages, Latin, PigsPig Latin
Pig Latin…
Cyclones, Imagery, SupermarketsCyclone Magic Trick
Wanna see a magic trick?
Imagery, Risqué, SexistThe Lift
A man and woman meet outside an elevator door…
ImageryElephant Bone
…just to confuse future archaeologists.
Australia, History, RacistA Brief History Of Australia
Australia was founded in 1901 by Jimmy “Crocodile” Austral, a deportee of England who was banished for cannibalism, having eaten 32 members of the House of Lords. In accordance with English colonial law, this entitled him to an entire already-inhabited continent.
A Middle-aged Woman Decides To Have A Facelift…
A middle-aged woman decides to have a facelift…
Animals, Bears, Guns, ImageryWhat Is The Smallest Calibre You Trust To Protect Yourself?
I remember one time while hiking with my girlfriend in northern Alberta and out of nowhere came this huge brown bear charging us, and was she mad!
America, Australia, Birds, Horror Movies, Imagery, MagpiesAustralian Horror Story
American Horror Story versus Australian Horror Story
Dba, Geeky, Imagery, SqlDBA/SQL Humour
An SQL query walks into a bar, goes up to two tables and asks, “May I join you?”
Animals, Chocolate, Easter, Easter Bunnies, Imagery, RabbitsJust Some Bunny That I Used To Know
Now you’re just some bunny that I used to know.
Imagery, KnittingWinter Knitting
What are you going to knit this winter?
Biology, Imagery, MathBiology, Multiplication And Division
Biology – the only science where multiplication and division mean the same thing…
Jokes, RisquéWhere Is Amanda’s Husband?
Amanda is 21 years older than her son John. In 6 years from now, Amanda will be 5 times as old as John…
Charts, Computer Games, Imagery, Pacman, Pie ChartsPacman Pie Chart
The Pacman pie chart.
Evolution, ImageryEvolution: Stop Following Me!
The typical “evolution of man” poster, except the man is facing his “earlier ancestors” saying “Stop following me!”
Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryCat: The Dog Went Missing
Cat: The dog went missing? Hahaha! Hahaha! I’m sorry human. Hahaha… no seriously, I’m so sad…
Animals, Beds, Dinosaurs, ImageryT-Rex Making A Bed
When you’re upset just imagine a T-Rex making a bed.
Daleks, Dr Who, Food, Garlic, Imagery, TvGarlek
Garlek.
Imagery, Rallies, Sexist, WomenWhat Women Want
Who are we? Women! What do we want? We don’t know! When do we want it? NOW!
Adobe, Geeky, Imagery, UpdatesAdobe Updates
I don’t always have an update…
Animals, Beavers, Birds, Cats, Dogs, Fish, Frogs, Horses, Imagery, Puns, Rabbits, ZebraPunny Animals
Who ever invented the “knock-knock jokes” should get a no-bell prize!
Imagery, Newspapers, TechnologyAll This Technology Is Making Us Antisocial
All this technology is making us antisocial: A tram full of people ignoring each other and reading the newspaper.
Children, Imagery, PaintChildren Painting
Two children, half a room and a TV covered in white paint.
Football, Relationships, Sexist, SportThe Loving Husband
A man had two of the best tickets for the opening State of Origin match. As he sits down, another man comes along and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him…
Imagery, StoneNothing Is Written In Stone
Nothing is Written in Stone…
Animals, Imagery, TurtlesYou’ll Never Be As Happy As This Turtle
You’ll never be as happy as this turtle.
Animals, Cats, ImageryDid You Try Jumping Off The Refrigerator Too?
Did you try jumping off the refrigerator too?
Animals, Cats, Imagery, MetallicaMettalicat
Mettalicat: Sleeps with one eye open, gripping his pillow tight.
Imagery, Keith Urban, MusiciansKeith Urban Accepted As Genuine Humanoid
Clint Felmingham: Did you know? Keith Urban is accepted by many Americans as a genuine humanoid/musician. Urban, a polymer composite (90% polyethene, 8% alcohol, 2% minor celebrity), was manufactured in Caboolture, Australia in 1987..
Australia, Chillis, Food, Racist, TexasAn Australian Chilli Tester In Texas…
An Australian chilli tester in Texas…
Notice
Notice is hereby given…
Imagery, SexistEscape From The Kitchen
You thought you could escape from the kitchen didn’t you?
Crocs, Friday The 13th, Imagery, Jason Voorhees, Movies, ShoesJason Voorhees Gets Crocs
Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th) gets Crocs.
Chewing Gum, Imagery, WarningsDo Not Swallow Chewing Gum
Warning: Do not swallow chewing gum!
Animals, Food, ImageryBoiled Lobster
“I hate the way they scream when you boil them!”
Animals, Dogs, Imagery, SnakesLong Dogs
A man walking two long dogs meets a man walking two normal dogs…
Animals, Cats, ImageryCat Bag
It’s a cat bag. Not too sure what else to say about this…
Australia, New Zealand, RacistAn Aussie Taxidermist In New Zealand…
An Aussie Taxidermist in New Zealand…
Food, Geeky, ImageryLOL For Lunch
Ordering linguini for lunch always boosts morale.
Accidents, Animals, Cats, Imagery, LaddersHumans Don’t Land On Their Feet
Gee you’re right, humans don’t land on their feet.
Animated, Illusion, ImageryTwo Person Optical Illusion
Optical illusion: Keep your eyes on the cross, and see what happens.
Drink, Food, ImageryThings To Eat And Drink In Public
Things to eat and drink in public.
Geeky, InternetAmusing Chat
Humour from the world of Internet Chat
Imagery, LegoWhat Lego Does When We Aren’t Looking
What legos do when we aren’t looking
ImageryProcrastination Issues
I’m taking care of my procrastination issues; just you wait and see.
Alcohol, Beer, Imagery, WineIn Wine There Is Truth
In Wine there is Truth. In Beer there is Strength. In Water there is Bacteria.
SexistWinter Classes For Men
Winter Classes for Men at the Learning Centre for Adults
ImageryCute Party Trick
Man with finger up nose and out of eye.
History, ImageryThe Most Difficult Thing To Explain To Someone From The 1950s
If someone from the 1950s suddenly appeared today, what would be the most difficult thing to explain to them about life today?
Breakfast, ImageryHow Did You Get In My House?
If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple “Thank you” is all I need. Not all this “How did you get in my house?” business.
ImageryTimes Have Changed
An image from an operating manual for the SAGE air defense system
Advertising, Babies, ImageryGood Things Are Twice As Good In Cellophane
Good things are twice as good in Cellophane!
Catholic, Priests, ReligiousThe Priest And The Hairdryer
In Catholic schools students are taught that lying is a sin. Instructors are also advised that using a bit of imagination is OK…
WorkMergers
Amusing mergers.
Australia, Imagery, Racist, Tintin, WynnumThe Adventures Of TinTin: TinTin In Wynnum
The Adventures of TinTin: TinTin in Wynnum.
America, Calendars, Imagery, Mayans, Obama, Political, PredictionsThe Mystery Of The Mayan Calendar Revealed
At last, the mystery of the Mayan calendar revealed.
Computers, ImageryInsert Disk Two
Please insert disk two.
Imagery, Nietzsche, ReligiousNietzsche Is Dead
God is dead” ~Nietzsche / “Nietzsche is dead” ~God.
Banks, ImageryI Was Going To Make A Joke About A Bank, But Then I Lost Interest…
I was going to make a joke about a bank, but then I lost interest…
Guns, ImageryThe Last Known Picture Taken Of Grandpa
A woman inadvertently points a gun towards a man.
Australia, PoliticalPsalm 2009 – 2012
The First Book of Government.
ImageryAlzheimer’s
“I may have alzheimer’s, but at least I don’t have alzheimer’s”
Animals, RisquéDoctor Bob Had Sex With One Of His Patients…
Doctor Bob had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long…
Alcohol, Food, Imagery, VodkaVodka Diet: Lose 3 Days In 1 Week
Vodka Diet: Lose 3 Days in 1 Week.
Computers, Evolution, ImagerySomething Went Terribly Wrong
Something, somewhere went terribly wrong.
Animated, Flash, Geeky, ImageryL33t H4x0r H4ml37
Tales for the L33T PATR TOO - HAMLET
Africa, Animals, Imagery, Lions, SafarisShould I Tell Them I’m Here?
Should I tell them I’m here?
Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, Vintage, VitaminsThe Harder A Wife Works, The Cuter She Looks
So the harder a wife works, the cuter she looks!
Animated, Geeky, Imagery, PhotoshopAdobe Photoshop CS6 Has Stopped Working
The realest photography struggle ever…
Bsod, Geeky, Microsoft, WindowsBSOD: Blue Screen Of Death
The dreaded blue screen of death…
Girls, Imagery, WorkForgot I Was Sharing My Screen With Her
I was on an online conference call with a cute sounding girl, and googled her name out of curiosity. Forgot I was sharing my screen with her.
Alice In Wonderland, Imagery, Movies, SexistUltimate Chick Flick
Ultimate chick flick: Two women fighting over a pair of shoes
Aboriginal, Australia, Gay, RacistAboriginal Jobs
At the end of a tiny, deserted bar is a huge Aboriginal bloke…
Talking Clock
Why, that’s my Talking Clock…
Animated, Babies, Fireworks, ImageryFirst Time Seeing Fireworks
A baby sees fireworks for the first time.
Imagery, Unicorns, Unicycles, UnitardsUnicorn, Unitard, Unicycle
Unicorn in a unitard on a unicycle.
Animals, ImagerySeven Sharks
If you own 7 cats then people will think you’re crazy…
Elderly, MemoryElderly Memories
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen…
Animals, Cats, ImageryPlease Don’t Let The Cat Out. No Matter What It Tells You!
Please don’t let the cat out. No matter what it tells you!
Imagery, StovesCool Stoves
Cool Stoves
Evolution, Imagery, SexistThe Evolution Of Man And Woman
The Evolution of Man & Woman…
ImageryButtons
Lots of buttons…
Animals, Dogs, Education, Elephants, Exams, Fish, Imagery, Monkeys, Penguins, School, SealsOur Education System
[To an assorted group of animals] Our Education System: For a fair selection everybody has to take the same exam: Please climb that tree.
Ballerinas, Imagery, WomenFreshly Washed Ballerinas
Freshly washed ballerinas.
Food, Imagery, Pasta, TrucksPasta Truck
A pasta truck, or a very large pasta.
ImageryWhat Is A Sonofabitch?
What is a sonofab*tch, exactly?
CarsMini Cooper
A guy driving a Mini Cooper pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce…
Geeky, Imagery, InternetSlashdot For Dummies
Slashdot for Dummies – A Reference for the Rest of Us!
Calendars, Comics, Imagery, MayansThe Mayan Calendar
I only had enough room to go up to 2012…
Animated, Australia, Imagery, Internet, Political, TelstraBuilding The NBN From Telstra Copper
Building the NBN from Telstra Copper
Cars, Imagery, Italy, Racist, Risqué25 Year Old Escort
But Mr. Berlusconi, you said, “Send a 25 years old escort to my villa!”
Animals, Cats, Geeky, ImagerySchrödinger’s Cat
Wanted: Dead & Alive…
Books, ImageryScary Campfire Stories: Book Style
And then… after they had ripped out half of her pages… they turned her… into a movie!
Animated, Illusion, Imagery, Impossible Triangle, Penrose TrianglePenrose Triangle
Penrose Triangle Animation.
Imagery…and So It Was.
It’s a Bird! It’s a Plane!
SexistMen Are Like...
Men are like…
Animals, Cats, Cockroaches, Dogs, Imagery, Men, WomenThe Circle Of Life
The Circle of Life: Who is afraid of who?
Imagery, PhotographyOlympus Fights Back
Olympus Fights Back: Canon versus Olympus
Bananas, Fruit, ImageryAppealing Attire
I find this attire… appeeling.
Imagery, Israeli, Palestinian, Political, RacistIsraeli Settlers
Of course we want peace–this piece and this piece and this piece and this piece…
Children, ParentingWhy Parents Drink
Why parents drink.
Dinosaurs, Imagery, Political, SpyingIf You’re Not Doing Anything Wrong, You Shouldn’t Have Anything To Hide
The government says “If you’re not doing anything wrong, you shouldn’t have anything to hide.” If that is true, shouldn’t the government declassify everything?
Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, Nokia, PhonesIPhone 5 Plus Versus Nokia 3310
iPhone 6 Plus versus Nokia 3310: Does it bend?
Imagery, Movies, Obi-wan Kenobi, Star Wars, Terrorism, World Trade CentreThese Blast Points… Too Accurate For Sand People
Obi-Wan Kenobi in front of burning World Trade Centre towers: “These blast points… too accurate for sand people”.
Animals, Broomsticks, Cars, Frogs, Imagery, Parking, Princesses, WitchesAll Others Will Be Toad
Private customer parking only. All others will be toad.
Advertising, Imagery, Motorola, Tv, VintageTelevision Benefits Your Children
How television benefits your children.
Alcohol, Animated, Fire, Imagery, Racist, Russia, SneezingIn Russia People Sneeze Fire
In Russia people sneeze fire after drinking lots of vodka.
Olympics, Racist, SportAthens Olympic Soccer Stadium
The Athens Olympic Stadium…
Geeky, History, Internet, ItHow The Internet Started: A History Lesson
How the Internet Started: A History Lesson.
Comics, ImageryHorton Hears The Who
Horton Hears the Who
Cars, Imagery, StickersF It
F-it
England, Imagery, UkAnarchy In The UK
Would you like some tea?
Imagery, Jobs, WorkThings Don’t Really Change
Interviewer: What would you consider to be your greatest weakness?
English, Grammar, Imagery, School, TeachersGrammar Vandal
When English teachers snap: Sorry Ma’am, but bad grammar is no excuse for vandalism.
Bones, Imagery, SkeletonsThe Average Human Body Contains Enough Bones
The average human body contains enough bones to make an entire human skeleton.
Forecasting, ImageryJohn’s Weather Forecasting Stone
One of the most reliable ways of forecasting…
Animals, Australia, Dropbears, Imagery, KoalasDrop Bears – Department Of Dangerous Fauna Management
Dropbears are a very real danger to all Australians. Almost one in ten Australians has been attacked by a Dropbear, and the rate is even higher for foreign visitors. Don’t become another statistic. Always beware low branches and doorframes. Look up. Stay Alive.
Animals, Dogs, ImageryA Dog Named Stay
I bought a dog once. Named him ‘Stay’…
Animals, Business, Dogs, ImageryAssistant Branch Manager
The Branch Manager and the Assistant Branch Manager.
Blonde, Cars, SexistBlondeStar
What to do when you’re locked inside your car, and the keys are outside…
Imagery, TurtlesA Wee Turtle
A wee turtle…
Adelaide, Australia, Chairs, Disaster, Earthquake, ImageryThe 2011 Adelaide Earthquake
The 2011 Adelaide Earthquake: We will rebuild.
Animals, ImageryHow Dishwashers Really Work
How dishwashers really work…
Australia, Buses, Explosions, Imagery, InalaSorry For Party Rocking
Sorry for Party Rocking: Driver jumps from burning bus, party bus explodes in Inala.
Imagery, Mobiles, Mouse Traps, Phones, TelstraCustomer Retention
Free Phone Telstra Style.
Geeky, Imagery, TechnologyBack-Up
Image of man backing-up with computer.
Apple, Bill Gates, Computers, Heaven, Imagery, Microsoft, Phones, Religious, Steve Jobs, WindowsSteve Jobs & Bill Gates Discuss Heaven
Steve Jobs & Bill Gates Discuss Heaven: It doesn’t have any wall or fence…
English, Grammar, Risqué, School, University, WritingShort Story
A college class was told they had to write a short story in as few words as possible.…
Geeky, SexistDear Tech Support
Girlfriend technical support…
America, Imagery, Nsa, Obama, Phones, SpyingObama: “Aww No! Both Of You Hang Up!”
Her: “Ok, you hang up.” Him: “No, you hang up.” Her: “Haha, no you hang up.” Obama: “Aww no! Both of you hang up!”
Grammar, Imagery, TomorrowTomorrow (noun)
Tomorrow (noun): a mystical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation and achievement is stored.
Imagery, PlanesAerodynamics Simplified
How planes fly.
Imagery, Masturbation, RisquéI’m Starting To Think My Husband Masturbates
I’m not absolutely certain yet, but I’m starting to think my husband masturbates
Animals, Dogs, Imagery, Phones, SmsTexts From My Dog
My dog sends me texts…
Animals, Bananas, Birds, Food, Imagery, ParrotsBanana Parrot Terrorism
A parrot eating bananas.
Cling-wrap, Imagery, WorkCling-wrap Fun
Cling-wrap fun.
Pregnancy & Women: Questions
Pregnancy & Women: Frequently Asked Questions
Imagery, Motorbikes, RisquéSexy Motorbike
I am not too sure what to say about this…
Animals, Cats, Glasses, ImageryBut These Are For Girls
But these are for girls… Holy Crap! I look fabulous!
Imagery, SexistAlways Love A Woman For Her Personality
Always love a woman for her personality. They have like 10, so you can choose.
Animals, Antelopes, ImageryDid You Know There Is A Species Of Antelope Capable Of Jumping Higher Than The Average House?
Did you know there is a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house? This is due to its powerful hind legs and the fact that the average house cannot jump.
Coffee, Religious, SexistMorning Coffee
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning…
ImagerySound Thug
Sound Thug
Cartoons, Comics, Imagery, MoviesThe Bat Cave
The location of our Bat Cave is meant to be secret, so stop checking in!
Animals, Bikes, Frogs, Imagery, Kermit The FrogWrong Way
Wrong Way
ImageryTrapped Miners
The first photo of the trapped miners…
JokesToday Is Sunday
Attention! Today is Sunday. Share this on your Facebook wall. Within seven days you’ll get another Sunday…
Emergency, Imagery, Out Of OrderEmergency: Out Of Order
Please do not have an emergency!
Animals, Imagery, RisquéHow To Eat Pussy…
How to eat pussy…
Imagery, RisquéDon’t Fall For This
The CIA is trying to steal my…
Children, Parenting, SchoolLetter To A Mother / School Report
It is with great happiness that I’m telling you that I eloped with my new boyfriend…
Animals, Giraffes, Imagery, SpidersGiraffe Spider
A giraffe spots a spider…
Computers, Geeky, ImageryKeyboards
Amusing Keyboards
The World’s Shortest Books
The World’s Shortest Books
Imagery, MedicalHearing Aids
Hearing aids…
Animated, Flash, Illusion, ImageryIllusions
Warning: May induce epilepsy or cardiac arrest…
Cars, Imagery, Logan, My Family Stickers, Racist, StickersLogan My Family Stickers
Logan My Family Stickers.
Babies, Imagery, Kanye West, Kim Kardashian, Phones, Sms, Taylor Swift, TwitterYo I’m Happy For You And Imma Let You Finish But…
[Twitter] Taylor Swift: @KimKardashian @kanyewest Yo I’m happy for you and imma let you finish but Beyonce had one of the best labours of all time.
Beaches, Imagery, Irish, SunbathingIrish Girl Sunbathing
An Irish girl sunbathes…
Boobs, Imagery, Sexist, WomenI Wish These Were Brains
Sexist, but contains breasts…
Imagery, Kitchens, Sexist, WomenFor Too Long The Voice Of Women Has Been Silenced
For too long the voice of women has been silenced. It’s time they had microphones in kitchens.
New Zealand, RacistKiwi Air Disaster
New Zealand’s worst air disaster occurred earlier today…
Babies, ImageryResisting A Rest
If I refuse to nap… is that resisting a rest?
Political, RacistLetter To America
Letter to America
Cars, Imagery, PetrolThe Bank Account Gas Ratio
The depressing ratio between your bank account, and your gas tank.
Geeky, ImageryCaps Lock
A visual representation of the use of caps lock.
Africa, Animals, Imagery, MoviesThe Lion King: Proof At Last
Pumbaa & Timon…
Imagery, MathImaginary Friend
Aww, how cute. He has an imaginary friend!
Advertising, Cocaine, Drugs, Imagery, Toothache, VintageCocaine Toothache Drops
Cocaine Toothache Drops: Instantaneous Cure! 15¢.
Imagery, Iphone, Phones, Romance, SmsThe Modern Day Romantic
Goodnight my beautiful girl I’m so lucky to have you in my life. I love you so much <3
Imagery, WorkHorse Whisperer
A very amusing workplace complaint.
Imagery, New Years, ResolutionsNew Year’s Resolutions – Again
New Year’s Resolutions – Again
Animated, Flash, Geeky, ImageryL33t H4x0r R0m30 4nd Jul13t
Tales for the L33T - ROMEO+JULIET
ImageryAwkward Moment
The awkward when you already said “moment” in your head before you read it.
English, GrammarParaprosdokians
Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.
Animals, Birds, Imagery, Mirrors, ParrotsTap That
I’d tap that!
SexistA Woman’s Wish
A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods…
Cartoons, ImageryFor A Good Time
For a good time, call…
Accidents, Food, ImageryMilkshake Meets Door
A woman runs into a door carrying two milkshakes.
Imagery, SchoolUnprepared For An Exam
Ever gone into an exam having not studied at all?
Imagery, SexistHusband Glasses
I’m returning these glasses I bought for my husband. He’s still not seeing things my way.
Cars, Computers, GeekyMicrosoft Car
Microsoft and General Motors on the Automobile.
Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Internet ExplorerWhat Are We? Browsers!
What are we? Browsers! What do we want? More speed! And when do we want it? Right now!
Imagery, R2-d2, Star Wars, TvThe Most Vulgar Character Of All Time
R2D2: They beeped out every single word he said
Flash, ImageryVision Test
Vision Test.
Easter, Eggs, ImageryDye Job
Check out the dye job on her? Tramp!