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Search Ned Martin’s Amused

Ned Martin’s Amused Pages

Animals, Australia, Cats, Horse Racing, Horses, Imagery, Jockeys, Melbourne Cup, SportMelbourne Cup Cat Horse
Melbourne Cup Cat Horse.
Geeky, InternetUsing AOL? Mind If We LOL?
Using AOL? Mind if we LOL?
Food, Imagery, Pasta, TrucksPasta Truck
A pasta truck, or a very large pasta.
America, Imagery, Obama, PoliticalBarack Obama: What I Actually Do
Barack Obama: What I actually do.
Imagery, RocksMy Pet Rock Ran Away
My Pet Rock Ran Away…
Bananas, Food, George Bush, ImageryThis Banana Tastes Funny
“This banana tastes funny” – George Bush.
Facebook, Imagery, RisquéFacebook Sex
Taking status updates too far.
Imagery, StovesCool Stoves
Cool Stoves
Animals, Geeky, Imagery, Math, SnakesSnakes On A Plane
Snakes on a plane.
Drawings, Imagery, SignsDraw Bridge
A man drawing a bridge at a “draw bridge” sign.
Imagery, Motorbikes, RisquéSexy Motorbike
I am not too sure what to say about this…
ImageryProblem Solving Flowchart
A simple, and humorous, flowchart that successfully troubleshoots almost any problem you can think of.
Brooms, Imagery, Parking, Sexist, Witches, WomenWomen Can’t Park
Who said that women can’t park?
America, English, Imagery, RacistEnglish (Traditional) And English (Simplified)
English (Traditional) and English (Simplified).
Apple, Computers, Imagery, Religious, Steve JobsHe’s Gonna Upgrade Your Tablets…
Moses, meet Steve. He’s gonna upgrade your tablets…
Birth Control, Imagery, RisquéEffective Birth Control
The most effective birth control method known to man.
Animals, Cars, Children, Girls, Horses, ImageryNo Pony For Christmas
No pony for Christmas? No window for driving!
Eggs, ImageryEscape Egg
Counting down the days to escape…
Boobs, Bsod, Computers, Fashion, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, Sexist, Shirts, Windows, WomenI Love My BSOD
Perhaps the only blue screen of death geeks would be happy to see.
Geeky, ImageryDrowning, LOL!
If you see someone drowning… LOL!
Babies, ImagerySpot The Baby
Spot the baby. No, the other one.
Illusion, ImageryShake Your Head
Shake your head
Food, ImageryI Love The Smell Of Pixel In The Morning
I Love the Smell of Pixel in the Morning…
Animals, Horses, Imagery, Knights, Monty Python, Riding, TvCouldn’t Find My Coconut Shells.
Was gonna ride to work today. Couldn’t find my coconut shells.
Risqué, SexistMating Bulls
A man took his wife to the Rodeo and one of the exhibits is that of breeding bulls…
Computer Games, Imagery, SexistCall Of Duty: Women’s Edition
Call of Duty: Women’s Edition.
Animals, Imagery, LlamaA Shaved Llama
A shaved Llama
SexistMen Vs. Women
Men versus women…
Imagery**** I Forgot To Turn Off The Oven
**** I forgot to turn off the oven.
SexistPunctuation Is Powerful.
Punctuation is powerful.
Comics, Imagery, VeganI Am Going Vegan
I am going vegan
Army, WarAmerican Nun
A deserter GI was running down a road escaping from two MPs…
Awards, Imagery, Jobs, Roads, WorkThe Winner Of The “Not My Job” Award
The Winner of the “Not My Job” Award goes to…
Harry Potter, Imagery, SmsMaster Has Presented Dobby With Clothes! Dobby Is Free!
Well I’m grounded. WTF did you do this time? My Mum asked me to do the laundry and threw a sock at me… I ran away screaming “Master has presented Dobby with clothes! Dobby is free!”
Books, Imagery, Lance Armstrong, LibrariesLance Armstrong Fiction Books
All non-fiction Lance Armstrong books including “Lance Armstrong: Images of a Champion”, “The Lance Armstrong Peprformance Program” and “Lance Armstrong: World’s Greatest Champion” will soon be moved to the fiction section.
Illusion, ImageryAfterburn - Whom Do You See?
Relax and concentrate on the four small dots in the middle of the picture…
Advertising, Food, Fountain, Imagery, Tomato Sauce, WoolworthsBuy Two & Receive A Free Fountain Face!
Buy two and receive a Free Fountain Face!
Blackjack, Cards, Games, ImageryBlack Jack Black
Black Jack Black eating Cracker Jack playing a black jack while playing BlackJack with Jack Black who is threatening Black Jack Black with a Black Jack.
AudioTelstra Customer Service
An insight into the Telstra Customer Service Experience.
English, ImageryYou You Read The First Line Wrong?
What if I told you you read the first line wrong?
Alcohol, Holidays, Imagery, WineHoliday Workout
Holiday Workout: Three corkscrews.
Imagery, RisquéThe Exact Spot My Zipper Broke
The exact spot my zipper broke.
Animals, Cats, ImageryHello Kitty
It’s sickeningly cute. Perhaps literally if its expression is anything to go by…
ImageryMicrophone Eyes
Microphone Eyes.
Animals, Dogs, Imagery, Phones, SmsTexts From My Dog
My dog sends me texts…
Cake, Ikea, ImageryHappy 25th Birthday IKEA!
Happy 25th Birthday IKEA! Here’s your cake
Cars, Imagery, TrucksDriver Is Fully Naked
Driver carries less than $50 cash and is fully naked.
Jewellery, Jokes, Puns, RingsSomeone Stole My Mood Ring
Someone stole my mood ring.
Bananas, Cars, Food, ImageryGet In The Banana
No time to explain. Get in the banana!
Australia, Imagery, Matches, Pauline Hanson, Political, Redheads, RednecksRednecks
Redneck Matches…
Chinese, Imagery, Racist, Tattoos, WomenIf Chinese People Tattooed Lame English Words On Themselves…
If Chinese people tattooed lame English words on themselves…
Animated, Flash, Illusion, ImageryIllusions
Warning: May induce epilepsy or cardiac arrest…
Imagery, Jail, Logan, RacistI’m From Logan
I killed a man. You? I’m from Logan.
Children, Imagery, Sexist, ToysTo Avoid Perpetuating Gender Stereotypes
To avoid perpetuating gender stereotypes, I gave my daughter a mix of dolls and toy cars to play with. This is what happened…
Animals, Business, Dogs, ImageryAssistant Branch Manager
The Branch Manager and the Assistant Branch Manager.
Girls, Imagery, WorkForgot I Was Sharing My Screen With Her
I was on an online conference call with a cute sounding girl, and googled her name out of curiosity. Forgot I was sharing my screen with her.
France, Imagery, North Korea, RacistFrance Surrenders To North Korea
France surrenders to North Korea
Cpr, First Aid, Imagery, SchoolCPR Diagram
You’re next!
Advertising, Feminine Hygiene, Imagery, Sexist, VintagePlease, Dave… Please Don’t Let Me Be Locked Out From You!
Please, Dave… please don’t let me be locked out from you! For complete feminine hygiene rely on Lysol – a concentrated germ-killer!
Animals, Gorillas, Imagery, King Kong, Mobiles, Phones, VodafoneNo Signal
The “Vodafone Effect”.
Imagery, Jealousy, Relationships, SmsBaby Are You Jealous?
Baby are you jealous?
Animals, Cats, ImageryAbercrombie & Cat
Abercrombie & Cat
InvisibleYou Can See Me?
Next time a stranger talks to me when I’m alone I will look at them shocked and just whisper quietly, “you can see me?”
Bags, Imagery, ShoppingI’ll Be Bag
A bag titled “I’ll Be Bag”
America, Animals, Australia, Birds, Eagles, Imagery, RacistAmerican Bald Eagle Vs Australian Wedge Tail Eagle
American Bald Eagle vs. Australian Wedge Tail Eagle.
Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Linux, Mac, WindowsUpdate Available
An update is available for your computer…
Animals, Animated, Australia, Emus, Imagery, KangaroosKangaroo Kicks Boy
A kangaroo kicks an unsuspecting boy into a dam while an emu strolls past.
Droids, Imagery, Star WarsLook, Sir. Droids!
These are not the droids you are looking for.
Imagery, RocksOrders From A Rock
[On a rock] Turn me over. You just took orders from a rock.
Cars, Drugs, Imagery, PoliceHow High Are You?
How High Are You? No Officer, it’s “Hi, how are you”.
Forecasting, ImageryJohn’s Weather Forecasting Stone
One of the most reliable ways of forecasting…
Animals, Beaches, Imagery, Signs, Stingrays, WarningsShuffle Your Feet For Stingrays
Shuffle your feet for Stingrays: One of the many dangers in Australian waters.
Accidents, Buses, Imagery, Rivers, Wildlife DocumentariesA Wild Bus Drinking Water
And here we see a wild bus drinking water from a river.
Animals, ImageryFalling Cows
A roadsign showing a cow falling off a cliff and onto a car.
Fans, ImageryThank You To All My Fans
Thank you to all my fans
Cars, Imagery, Irish, RacistIrish Car
An advertisement in an Irish Newspaper…
Animals, Joke, PigsThree Little Piggies
Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night…
Alcohol, Food, Imagery, VodkaVodka Diet: Lose 3 Days In 1 Week
Vodka Diet: Lose 3 Days in 1 Week.
ToysThe Horror Of Blimps
Some blimps are better off dead…
Animals, Cats, Imagery, SmsCat Facts
Thanks for signing up for Cat Facts!
ImageryFurniture Training
Furniture training for one of their main purposes in life…
Imagery, SpicesSeasons Greetings
Seasons Greetings
Imagery, ScissorsI Run With Scissors
I run with scissors: It makes me feel dangerous.
Imagery, Rallies, Sexist, WomenWhat Women Want
Who are we? Women! What do we want? We don’t know! When do we want it? NOW!
Guns, Imagery, ToastToast Toasts Toast?
If guns don’t kill people, people kill people, does that mean…
Imagery, WifiBasic Human Needs
Basic human needs… like Wi-Fi.
Animals, Imagery, Iphone, PhonesIt’s A Whale
How do you have any friends…
Guns, ImageryThe Last Known Picture Taken Of Grandpa
A woman inadvertently points a gun towards a man.
Alcohol, Australia, Bob Hawke, Imagery, Oxford, PoliticalBob Hawke’s Yard Of Ale
While at university at Oxford in 1963, Bob Hawke, former Prime Minister of Australia, entered the Guinness Book of Records here at the Turf Tavern after downing a yard of ale (that’s just over 2½ pints!) in just 11 seconds.
Cars, Imagery, MoviesDiesel
Hey, wanna know what I put in my car?
Comics, Imagery, Movies, WorkPopular Sayings #38
Dress for the job you want, not the one you have.
Animals, Australia, Dangerous, ImageryDangerous Australia
It’s no wonder we all live here…
Geeky, Imagery, RomanceRoses Are #FF0000
Roses are #FF0000, Violets are #0000FF.
English, WordsI’m Awkward When People Compliment Me…
I’m awkward when people compliment me… “Nice hair” Me: “Thanks, I grew it myself”
Medical, RisquéBetter Than A Flu Shot
Better than a Flu Shot
Apple, Apples, Computers, Food, Imagery, Laptops, TechnologyMake Your Own Apple Laptop
Make your own Apple laptop the cheap—and healthy—way!
Boats, Imagery, Rowing, WarRow Row Row Your Boat
Row row row your boat. Shut up Carl.
Risqué, SexKeep Your Mouth Shut
If you don’t believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut!
Computer Games, ImageryVideo Games Ruined My Life
Video games ruined my life. Good thing I have two more.
Cars, Computer Games, ImageryLegend Of Zelda
A legend… of Zelda.
America, Cia, Cocaine, Coke, Drugs, ImageryCIA: We Put The Coke In America
CIA: we put the coke in America.
CatsHappy Pussy
A collection of amusing cat pictures.
English, Etymology, Imagery, Languages, SpanishEntero Somewhere Elso
English: Do Not Enter Here; Spanish: Entero Somewhere Elso.
Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, Vintage, VitaminsThe Harder A Wife Works, The Cuter She Looks
So the harder a wife works, the cuter she looks!
Geeky, Imagery, MeditationGeek Meditation Session
In your mind’s browser, clear your cache… now delete your history… now navigate to a blank web page…
Accidents, Aeroplanes, Imagery, LuggageClosing Airline Luggage Doors
Closing Airline Luggage Doors.
PoliticalMerry Christmas & A Happy New Year
Merry Christmas & A Happy New Year.
Buses, ImageryGo Home Bus, You’re Drunk!
Go home bus, you’re drunk!
Emergency, Imagery, Out Of OrderEmergency: Out Of Order
Please do not have an emergency!
ReligiousCommon Belief
The belief that there was nothing…
Animals, Bananas, Birds, Food, Imagery, ParrotsBanana Parrot Terrorism
A parrot eating bananas.
Joke, RisquéJam And Butter The Muddy Plasters, The Dirty Bucket Of Pitch!
Jam and butter the muddy plasters, the dirty bucket of pitch!
Imagery, Movies, RomanceGirlfriends: Harry Potter Versus Twilight
Ginny: When Harry broke up with me for my safety…
Books, Imagery, Sexist“Understanding Women” Now Available In Paperback
The book “Understanding Women” is now available in paperback!
Animals, Eggs, Giraffes, ImageryGiraffe Egg
Giraffe Egg.
Imagery, Iphone, Nokia, PhonesNokia Versus The IPhone
The strongest phones ever!
Imagery, WorkNothing To Do
In case of nothing to do, break glass and then sweep up broken glass.
ImageryStatistics That Matter: The Pie Chart
A new take on the traditional pie… chart.
America, Guns, Imagery, Police, RacistAnd I Was All Like, Pew Pew Pew!
And I was all like, pew pew pew! Pew pew pew! ‘Merica!
Imagery, MondaysShortest Horror Story: Monday
Shortest horror story: Monday.
Animals, ImageryJust Checking
“Just doing a spot-check to see what you’re doing… Yup, sitting at your computer again!” The expression on this ostrich’s face is excellent.
Drugs, ImageryToo High
Quick! Grab my hand! I… I can’t! You’re too high! What?
Advertising, Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Phones, TechnologyIPhone 10 – The Tallest IPhone Yet
A mock-up of the iPhone 10, after the launch of the “taller” iPhone5.
Animals, Dogs, ImageryFree Puppy
Free puppy…
ImageryCute Party Trick
Man with finger up nose and out of eye.
Animals, Bikes, Frogs, Imagery, Kermit The FrogWrong Way
Wrong Way
Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Internet Explorer, Mac, WindowsCan Your Mac Do This?
Can your Mac do this? I don’t think so…
History, ImageryThe Most Difficult Thing To Explain To Someone From The 1950s
If someone from the 1950s suddenly appeared today, what would be the most difficult thing to explain to them about life today?
Bottles, Imagery, Messages, UsbModern Day Message In A Bottle
A USB stick in a bottle lying on the beach.
Imagery, Mistakes, PostersMake Some More Mistakes
I’ve learned so much from my mistakes… I’m thinking of making a few more.
Political, RacistLetter To America
Letter to America
Children, Imagery, PaintChildren Painting
Two children, half a room and a TV covered in white paint.
Bananas, Food, Imagery, ZucchinisGreen Banana
Green banana…
Animals, ImageryCat Legs
There really isn’t much else to say about this.
Darth Vader, Imagery, Kristen StewartMore Expressions Than Kristen Stewart
Still more expressions than Kristen Stewart.
Animals, Dogs, Imagery, SnakesLong Dogs
A man walking two long dogs meets a man walking two normal dogs…
Grammar, Imagery, TomorrowTomorrow (noun)
Tomorrow (noun): a mystical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation and achievement is stored.
Betas, Bugs, Calendars, Cartoons, Imagery, MayansMayan’s Beta Calendar Bug
…to get to the point; why does your calendar end in 2012? Oh, that’s just a temporary problem in the beta version!
Alarms, Animals, Clocks, Imagery, SpidersAlarm Clock That Releases Spiders
Million dollar idea… alarm clock that releases spiders! Now you’re up!
Acid, Animals, Cats, Cocaine, Coffee, Drugs, Heroin, Imagery, Marijuana, Mushrooms, Shrooms, WeedDrug Cats
An illustrated cat-guide to drugs…
Australia, Brisbane, Computer Games, Explosions, Guns, Imagery, PoliceBrisbane, GTA Style
Queen Street Mall, Brisbane, GTA Style.
Imagery, WorkHorse Whisperer
A very amusing workplace complaint.
AudioPsychiatric Answering Machine
A Psychiatric Office Answering Machine.
Animals, ImageryNot Allowed
When a dog is all out of luck.
Imagery, SexistAlways Love A Woman For Her Personality
Always love a woman for her personality. They have like 10, so you can choose.
Animals, Penguins, SleepIf Penguins Have Knees
3 out of 4 voices in my head want to sleep (the other wants to know if penguins have knees!)
Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery90’s Gamer
Everytime I hear people complain about online gaming, I wish they could experience my pain of online gaming in the 90’s…
Blogs, Grammar, Imagery, SpellingMisspelt Blog Post
You wouldn't think anyone reads my blog. I haven’t got a comment in weeks. Misspell something…
Imagery, RisquéAncient Japanese Proverb
Ancient Japanese Proverb. If you cannot understand Japanese, tilt your head to the right…
Doorbells, Imagery, Logan, RacistLogan Doorbell
To ring door bell, connect wires.
Animals, Cats, Ducks, Imagery, SeagullsCat Duck
The Amazing Cat Duck! Or perhaps Cat Seagull?
Animals, Bunnies, Imagery, RabbitsEmo Bunny
Emo bunny: No one ever understands him
Animals, Imagery, RabbitsWhat Rabbits Do
What rabbits do when humans go out…
Arthur C Clarke, Astrology, QuotationsI Don’t Believe In Astrology
I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re sceptical.
America, Imagery, Political, SpyingMy Computer Hard Drive Crashed. NSA Won’t Send Me Their Backup Copy.
My computer hard drive crashed. NSA won’t send me their backup copy.
Art, Imagery, Michelangelo, Paintings, Reenactment, Sistine ChapelMichelangelo: The Re-enactment
A re-enactment of Michelangelo’s famous “The Creation of Adam”.
Animals, Imagery, Internet, RabbitsStop Surfing The Internet And Just Go To Bed
Holy crap! Look how late it is! Why do I always do this? Why is it so hard to stop surfing the internet and just go to bed?
Batman, Imagery, WikileaksWikileaks
Bruce Wayne!
Computers, Geeky, ImageryKeyboards
Amusing Keyboards
Animals, Harry Potter, Horses, ImageryWingardium Levi-horse-a
Wingardium levi-horse-a!
Bill Gates, Imagery, Mario, North Korea, Star Wars, WinrarThe Good Guys Of The World
These are the Good Guys of the World.
Bikes, Imagery, NoticesBicycles Chained To These Railings Will Be Removed Without Notice.
Bicycles chained to these railings will be removed without notice. This is a notice, you idiot!
Imagery, Police, ProtestsPolice & Protesters Help Fat Man Remove Pants
Police & Protesters help fat man remove pants…
Comics, Guns, Hands, ImageryHands In The Air!
Hands in the air! Now wave them around like you just don’t care!
Bras, Imagery, UnderwearSupport Bras
Supportive support bras…
Animals, Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, OttersFilthy Hobitses
Filthy Hobitses
Imagery, RisquéThumb War
One, two three, four. I declare a thumb war…
Animals, Imagery, LlamasGet In The Llama
No time to explain! Get in the llama…
WorkRejection Response
The next time you get a rejection letter from a hoped-for employer or publisher, just send them the following…
DrugsGranny LSD
Boy asks his Granny, “Have you seen my pills labelled ‘LSD’?”
Easter, Eggs, ImageryDye Job
Check out the dye job on her? Tramp!
Animals, Imagery, RisquéHow To Eat Pussy…
How to eat pussy…
Imagery, Mafia, RecruitersRecruiters Are One Step Above The Mafia
Recruiters are one step above the Mafia…
SexistCelibacy
Many aspects of human sexuality are very puzzling…
Imagery, Math, SchoolI’ll Just Be A Stripper.
Screw this: I’ll just be a stripper.
Flies, Ipad, NewspapersModern Newspapers
I was visiting my daughter last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper…
Alcohol, ImageryAlcohol Research
Bum holding sign “Need Cash for Alcohol Research”.
America, Australia, Birds, Horror Movies, Imagery, MagpiesAustralian Horror Story
American Horror Story versus Australian Horror Story
Babies, Imagery, RisquéI Will Deprive You Of Sex
I will deprive you of sex all night with my crying and then suck on your wife’s tits in the morning.
Balloons, Birthdays, ImageryBalloons Are So Weird…
Balloons are so weird… “Happy Birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath”
ImageryHard To Pay Fine
Touching wires causes instant death…
Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, Nokia, PhonesIPhone 5 Plus Versus Nokia 3310
iPhone 6 Plus versus Nokia 3310: Does it bend?
Cyclones, Imagery, SupermarketsCyclone Magic Trick
Wanna see a magic trick?
Animals, Imagery, WhalesThe Hey Whale
The Hey Whale. It defies description.
Bananas, Food, Imagery, SuicideSuicidal Bananas
A collection of suicidal bananas.
Arguments, English, Grammar, ImageryArgument Typo
Heh I was almost forced to face the fact that my argument was bad but I see here that you made a typo hahaha tough luck pal.
ImagerySound Thug
Sound Thug
Imagery, Injuries, Sexist, SportMen & Women In Sport
Women: No problem girls… I can go on. Men: Ahhhh! I’m dying.
Animated, ImageryWait!
Wait…
Imagery, SexistWoman With PMS
Woman with PMS.
Facebook, Imagery, Sexist, Sport, VolleyballLadies Beach Volleyball
Just been watching Ladies Beach Volleyball, and there’s already been a wrist injury… but I should be OK by Friday.
ImageryAlzheimer’s
“I may have alzheimer’s, but at least I don’t have alzheimer’s”
Dinosaurs, Imagery, Political, SpyingIf You’re Not Doing Anything Wrong, You Shouldn’t Have Anything To Hide
The government says “If you’re not doing anything wrong, you shouldn’t have anything to hide.” If that is true, shouldn’t the government declassify everything?
Disclaimer, Copyright & Contact Information
Feel free to send me anything you think might amuse me.
Imagery, KnittingWinter Knitting
What are you going to knit this winter?
ImageryAll Images
All Images
Guns, ImageryCrayon Gun
A fantastic gun made from many every-day items.
PoliticalScientific Breakthrough – Governmentium
A major research institution recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named Governmentium.
Animals, Antelopes, ImageryDid You Know There Is A Species Of Antelope Capable Of Jumping Higher Than The Average House?
Did you know there is a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house? This is due to its powerful hind legs and the fact that the average house cannot jump.
Cartoons, Food, ImageryChocolate Pudding
It’s four o’clock in the morning. Why on earth are you making chocolate pudding?
RisquéTest Your Subconscious
This revolutionary test will expose the secret desires from your subconscious…
ImageryVegetative State
Vegetative State.
Imagery, RacistHas One Night Stand
Has one night stand, but way too many books to fit on it.
Imagery, Motorbikes, SportOh Look, A Penny
Oh look, a penny!
Bugs Bunny, Cartoons, Daffy Duck, Donald Duck, Goofy, Imagery, Looney Tunes, Mickey Mouse, Porky Pig, Road Runner, Tom And Jerry, Wile E CoyoteJust To Make You Feel Really Old
Just to make you feel really old…
Board Games, Imagery, SexistWomen’s Monopoly
By a man…
Imagery, Shirts, TshirtsAttention Deficit Disorder
Ask me about my attention deficit disorder or pie or my cat. A dog. I have a bike. Do you like TV? I saw a rock. Hi.
Food, Imagery, ThymeToo Much Thyme On My Hands
I’ve got way too much tyme on my hands.
Blonde, Imagery, SexistBlonde Geometry
Attached is problem 3 on a geometry examination…
Africa, Animals, ImageryRhino Painting
A rhinoceros painting…
Daleks, Doctor Who, Geeky, RobotsWhat Would Robots From The 1960's…
What would robots from 1960’s and 1970’s TV say today with current software installed?
Alcohol, Drunk, ImagerySlur In Cursive
When I drink, I don’t slur my words… I speak in cursive.
Imagery, Unicorns, Unicycles, UnitardsUnicorn, Unitard, Unicycle
Unicorn in a unitard on a unicycle.
Imagery, LoveThis Summarises My Love Life
This summarises my love life. I’m the guy in blue…
America, RacistAmerican State Mottos
American State Mottos…
Imagery, Movie Posters, PiranhasPiranhas On An Escalator
If I were you, I’d take the stairs…
Bricks, Footpaths, Imagery, OcdOCD Bricks
The worst thing that can happen to an OCD person…
Books, ImageryScary Campfire Stories: Book Style
And then… after they had ripped out half of her pages… they turned her… into a movie!
Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, SexistAre Those Yours?
…they’re turning out so big and cute!
ImageryHow To Be Green
A boardgame: How to be Green…
Engineering, Flowcharts, Geeky, ImageryEngineering Flowchart
Nothing duct tape and WD-40 can’t fix…
Animals, Dogs, Imagery, RisquéBitches & Hose
Having so much fun…
Clothes, Hats, Imagery, TiesYou Hang Around, I’ll Go On Ahead
You hang around, I’ll go on ahead.
Cars, Imagery, MessagesThe 710 Cap
Hun I have a problem in my car…
Animals, Australia, Emus, WarEmu War
Result: Emu Victory.
Animals, Australia, Imagery, KoalasEucalyptus Leaves Cause Hallucinations
The **** do you mean eucalyptus leaves cause hallucinations? I gotta tell my unicorn about this.
Beer, Geeky, Imagery, WorkUltimate Camouflage
An office beer fridge…
Adobe, Geeky, Imagery, UpdatesAdobe Updates
I don’t always have an update…
English, GrammarYour There
They’re they are.
Animals, Fire, Imagery, SpidersThere Was A Spider, I Panicked
There was a spider, I panicked. But I think it’s gone now.
Animals, Drugs, ImageryFlying Ants
How ants began to fly…
Balloons, Cars, ImageryMissile Balloons
Missile Balloons.
Imagery, Masturbation, RisquéI’m Starting To Think My Husband Masturbates
I’m not absolutely certain yet, but I’m starting to think my husband masturbates
Animals, Imagery, Nuclear Power, SpidersSpider Farm
This seems like a disaster waiting to happen…
Canada, Etiquette, ImageryHolding Doors
Holding Doors: A Question of Distance.
America, Guns, ImageryHow To Sneak Chocolate Into An American Movie Theatre.
How to sneak chocolate into an American movie theatre.
Animals, Cats, Imagery, Snow, SnowballsThe Cat & The Snowball
The Cat & the Snowball.
Blonde, SexistA Young Brunette Goes To The Doctor...
A young brunette goes to the doctor…
Geeky, Imagery, InternetSlashdot For Dummies
Slashdot for Dummies – A Reference for the Rest of Us!
Imagery, RacistHow To Be Black
How to be Black: An Instructional Book.
Animated, ImagerySpiderman
If Spiderman was a gay night-clubber…
Dinosaurs, Imagery, MuseumsTrannysaurus
Trannysaurus: You’re fired.
ImageryI See Dumb People
I see dumb people… They are everywhere!
Imagery, Mexico, RacistMexico’s National Sport
What is Mexico’s national sport? Cross country.
Animals, Cars, Donkeys, ImageryA BMW Donkey
A BMW donkey. Not much more to be said really.
Imagery, SignsAlways Give 100%
Whatever you do always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.
Illusion, ImageryThe Angry/Calm Illusion
The Angry/Calm Illusion.
Babies, ImageryNow Airtight
Now airtight… to prevent aging!
Animals, ImageryWireless Technology
“It is a bit freaky with this wireless technology”
Imagery, Toilets, VandalismToilet Vandalism
We buy things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like…
Feminists, Imagery, Lightbulbs, Sexist, WomenHow Many Feminists Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Don’t be silly, feminists can’t change anything!
Imagery, Winnie The PoohPooh Everywhere
Watch your step, there’s pooh everywhere!
Alcohol, Imagery, Marriage, WineSecrets To A Long, Happy Marriage
An old woman was sipping on a glass of wine…
Animals, Imagery, Johnny Depp, Movie Stars, SpidersI’m Really Afraid Of Johnny Depp
Research shows that if you’re afraid of spiders, you’re more likely to find one in your bedroom. I’m really afraid of Johnny Depp.
Australia, Football, Imagery, Muslim, Racist, SportWell, I Guess We’ll Beheading Home Now
Well, I guess we’ll beheading home now…
Animals, Cars, Driving, Imagery, KoalasDon’t Worry I’m Koalafied To Drive
Don’t worry I’m Koalafied to drive.
Animals, Imagery, ZebrasZebra Crossing
Zebra Crossing…
RisquéMickey Mouse
One day, Mickey Mouse decided that he wanted a divorce…
Animals, ImageryUsed Cows
Used Cows for Sale.
Aboriginal, Australia, Gay, RacistAboriginal Jobs
At the end of a tiny, deserted bar is a huge Aboriginal bloke…
Australia, Chairs, Disaster, Earthquake, Imagery, MelbourneThe 2012 Melbourne Earthquake
The 2012 Melbourne Earthquake: We will rebuild.
Computer Games, Education, Games, Imagery, Internet, Minecraft, School, TestsMinecraft: Create A Simple Door
Describe a process that could be used to create a simple door.
Cars, Imagery, StickersF It
F-it
Animals, Dogs, ImageryFunny Dog
The longer you look, the funnier it gets!
Computers, GeekyUnix Commands
Amusing UNIX commands.
Australia, Bbq, Cooking, Food, SexistBarbecue Etiquette
Aussie Barbecue Season.
Animals, Dogs, Education, Elephants, Exams, Fish, Imagery, Monkeys, Penguins, School, SealsOur Education System
[To an assorted group of animals] Our Education System: For a fair selection everybody has to take the same exam: Please climb that tree.
Advertising, Clothing, Fashion, Imagery, SexistWhy Men Die Before Women
Why men die before women.
Cars, ReligiousRoad Rage
Two cars were waiting at a stoplight. The light turned green, but the man didn’t notice it…
Computers, Sms, WindowsWindows Frozen
Wife texts husband on a cold winter’s morning, “Windows frozen.”
Fish, Imagery, MermaidsReverse Mermaid
You are alone on an uninhabited island. Which of these would you choose as your companion?
Imagery, Sexist, TalkingWomen Use About 30,000 Words A Day
Did you know that women use about 30,000 words a day while men use only 15,000?
Imagery, Movies, Obi-wan Kenobi, Star Wars, Terrorism, World Trade CentreThese Blast Points… Too Accurate For Sand People
Obi-Wan Kenobi in front of burning World Trade Centre towers: “These blast points… too accurate for sand people”.
Imagery, Political, Politicians, Prostitutes, RisquéHonest Politician
Hi! I’m 32. I’m a politician and I’m honest. Hi. I’m 29, I’m a prostitute and I’m a virgin.
Animals, Elephants, ImageryIt’s Just One Of Those Days
A baby elephant falls in the mud.
Animals, Imagery, RacistBlack Bears
Uh oh Howard. Looks like this area has black bears…
Famous People, Imagery, Movie StarsReese Witherspoon
Reese Withoutherspoon.
Animals, RisquéThe Lone Ranger
The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an Indian war party…
Ice Cream, ImageryI Scream Cone
I Scream Cone.
Animals, Imagery, Spiders, ZombiesZombie Apocalypse Spider
I laugh at your claims to bravely take on a zombie apocalypse, when most of you can’t stand up to a spider.
Cars, ImageryHonked At A Prius
Honked at a Prius, scared the crap out of it.
Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryJust Being A Cat
Dog attacks person. Put dog to sleep. Cat attacks person. LOL, jus’ bein’ a cat.
Imagery, Risqué, SexistThe Lift
A man and woman meet outside an elevator door…
Accidents, Cars, Imagery, Seatbelts, SexistNew Seatbelt Design: 45% Less Car Accidents!
A man driving a car while a woman sits beside him, with her seatbelt across her mouth, preventing her from commenting.
Animated, Babies, Fireworks, ImageryFirst Time Seeing Fireworks
A baby sees fireworks for the first time.
Blonde, SexistBlonde Betting
A very attractive blonde woman arrived at a Vegas casino…
ImageryBatman Downsized
Batman forced to downsize with increase in petrol prices…
Imagery, Self-help, SexSex Maniac
Dear Dr Ruth, I’m writing to tell you my problem. It seems I have been married to a sex maniac for the past 22 years…
Accidents, Helmets, Imagery, Jamaica, Motorbikes, Risqué, SexistWhat’s The Main Reason For Motorbike Accidents In Jamaica?
What’s the main reason for motorbike accidents in Jamaica?
Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, PhonesIPhone 6: Bend It Like Beckham
iPhone 6: Bend it like Beckham.
Coffee, Religious, SexistMorning Coffee
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning…
Bikes, Imagery, PostsHave You Seen This Post?
Have you seen this post? He didn’t.
Animated, Fighting, Imagery, WweThrown Out Of The Ring
Thrown out of the Ring.
Imagery, JokeHow Many Alzheimer’s Patients Does It Take?
To get to the other side!
Animals, Conspiracies, Dogs, Imagery, SheepThat Conspiracy Stuff
I’m telling you – the man and the dog are definitely working together…
Animals, Cats, Glasses, ImageryBut These Are For Girls
But these are for girls… Holy Crap! I look fabulous!
Game Shows, TvAmusing Hollywood Squares Answers
Amusing Hollywood Squares Answers.
Illusion, ImageryWhat Kind Of Sorcery Lets These Two Blocks Be The Same Color?
One is dark, one is light. One is gray, one is white. These are obviously two different blocks with two different colors right? Wrong. The two blocks are the same color.
Accidents, Cars, ImageryPass With Care
Pass with care…
Geeky, Imagery, Scientific, UniversityHow People In Science See Each Other
How People in Science See Each Other.
Advertising, Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Phones, Samsung, Samsung Galaxy, TechnologyApple IPhone 20 & Samsung Galaxy S23 – Sword & Shield
A mock-up of the iPhone 20 and Samsung Galaxy S23, after the launch of the “taller” iPhone5 & the larger Galaxy S3.
Animals, Animated, Imagery, PenguinsPenguin Falls
Penguin falling on ice.
Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, VintageDormeyer Crying Wives
Wives: Look this ad over carefully. Circle the items you want for Christmas. Show it to your husband. If he does not go to the store immediately, cry a little…
Animals, Dieting, DogsPurina Diet
The Purina Pet Food Diet.
Political, ReligiousThe 10 Commandments
The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse or parliament…
Australia, Gillard, PoliticalPatriotic Retirement Plan
Ms Gillard’s Patriotic Retirement Plan.
Children, ParentingWhy Parents Drink
Why parents drink.
Coolers, Imagery, SexistIf A Man Says He Will Fix It, He Will
If a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months.
Cars, SexistHow To Change Your Oil
How to Change your Oil: A guide for men & women…
Animals, Computer Games, Computers, Imagery, SpidersBravery
…in the face of spiders.
Advertising, Feminine Hygiene, Imagery, Risqué, Sexist, Tampons, VintageThe Girls Are Talking About Tampons
The Blonde: It’s invisible sanitary protection, thank heavens…
Facebook, ImageryFacebook Illusion
Facebook: Providing the illusion you have friends since 2004!
Beer, Imagery, SexistYou Never Listen To Me…
You never listen to me! You only hear what you want to hear!
The Poodle And The Leopard
Experience trumps youth.
Cars, ImageryHome Mechanics
Home Mechanics and their cars.
Animals, Chocolate, Easter, Easter Bunnies, Imagery, RabbitsJust Some Bunny That I Used To Know
Now you’re just some bunny that I used to know.
Comics, ImageryThe Street Is Closed
Oh no—we’re trapped in here. The street is closed.
Board Games, Games, ImageryGroup Therapy
…is not going to make Q any less of a hated letter.
Animals, ImagerySeven Sharks
If you own 7 cats then people will think you’re crazy…
Illusion, ImageryHinton’s “Lilac Chaser”
The Dotty Illusion…
Campervans, Camping, Cars, ImageryNot A Happy Camper
Not a Happy Camper.
Illusion, ImageryCrazy Sphere
A crazy sphere
WorkExecutive Test
The following short quiz consists of four questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a “professional”…
Australia, Condoms, New Zealand, Racist, RisquéKiwi Condoms
Australia runs out of condoms…
Accidents, Imagery, Logan, Racist, WindowsLogan Repair
Another quality repair job by Logan City Council.
Beaches, Imagery, Irish, SunbathingIrish Girl Sunbathing
An Irish girl sunbathes…
ImageryMartha Stewart’s New Digs
Martha Stewart’s New Digs
Australia, Banks, ImageryAustralian Banks
Australian Bank Logos.
Animals, Chocolate, Dogs, Heaven, ImageryA Dog Dies: Can I Have Chocolate?
A dog dies and finds out chocolate killed him.
SexistCIA Assassin
The CIA had an opening for an assassin…
ImageryMcDonald’s Reaches Africa
McDonald’s reaches Africa.
Money, SexistFemale Financial Planning
Women are so much better at financial planning than men.
Animals, Imagery, Languages, Latin, PigsPig Latin
Pig Latin…
Illusion, ImageryRound Illusion
Unusual round illusion.
English, GrammarParaprosdokians
Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.
Animals, Djs, Fishing, Imagery, MusicDrop The Bass
Can’t go fishing, ‘cause I always drop the bass…
ImageryWhat Is A Sonofabitch?
What is a sonofab*tch, exactly?
Batman, Imagery, WomenNana Nana Nana Batman!
Nana Nana Nana Batman!
Accidents, Animals, Cats, Imagery, LaddersHumans Don’t Land On Their Feet
Gee you’re right, humans don’t land on their feet.
Dba, Geeky, Imagery, SqlDBA/SQL Humour
An SQL query walks into a bar, goes up to two tables and asks, “May I join you?”
C Sharp, Developers, Geeky, Imagery, Java, ProgrammersWhy Do Java Developers Wear Glasses?
Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#!
Cooking, Frypans, ImageryNon-stick Frypan
A stuck non-stick frypan…
Animals, Art, Bananas, Carving, Food, Horses, ImageryBanana Carving
Banana Carving.
Australia, Condoms, New Zealand, Racist, RisquéAustralian Condoms
New Zealand runs out of condoms…
Image, Qut, UniversityQUT: University For The Real World
Will we find intelligent life?
Illusion, ImageryFour Perfectly Round Circles
Four Perfectly Round Circles.
Communist, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, SoftwareCommunist Traitor
It looks like you’re a Communist traitor…
Christian, Imagery, Jewish, Muslim, RacistAn Atheist, A Jew, And A Christian Walk Into A Bar…
An atheist, a Jew, and a Christian walk into a bar…
PoliticalAbbott And Costello Go To Washington
Abbott And Costello Go To Washington.
Business Cards, Geeky, Imagery, Notepad, WindowsNotepad Business Card
A business card styled to look like Windows Notepad.
Clowns, Imagery, Risqué, Sex, WomenShe Made That Clown Extremely Happy
She made that clown extremely happy.
Pages By Date
A list of all the pages, sorted by their last updated or creation dates.
Horror MoviesIf You Are Lonely, Dim All Lights
If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you’re alone anymore.
Imagery, RisquéPull Out & Save
Save up to $600!
Imagery, SchoolUnprepared For An Exam
Ever gone into an exam having not studied at all?
Bras, Imagery, New Zealand, Racist, Risqué, SportThe All Blacks Bra
Introducing the New Zealand All Blacks Bra. All the support, but no cup.
PoliticalOrdering Pizza In The Year 2025
Ordering pizza in the year 2025…
Redneck, TechnologyTechnology For Country Folk
Technology for Country Folk.
Africa, Animals, Bikes, ImageryUpsetting The Food Chain
A zebra on a motorbike…
Illusion, ImageryConfused Carpentry
A Carpenter’s Nightmare.
Animated, ImageryA Teaser
You must stare very closely at the door in this image for around 30 seconds…
Children, Parenting, SportChild Beating
A seven year old boy was at the centre of a courtroom drama…
Cartoons, ImageryFor A Good Time
For a good time, call…
Animals, Crocodiles, ImageryCrocodile Lion
An interesting dinnertime story…
Blonde, Fruit, Ginger, Hair, Imagery, Strawberries, WomenGinger Versus Strawberry Blonde
This is a strawberry. This is ginger…
ImagerySuper Batman
The Super Batman back pack, exclusive from China!
Imagery, Marriage, Men, WomenMarriage Secrets Of Highly Successful Couples
Marriage secrets of highly successful couples.
Geeky, SexistDear Tech Support
Girlfriend technical support…
Animals, Birds, Crows, Imagery, TrucksCrows Killed By Trucks
Why are so many crows killed by trucks?
Imagery, RisquéFlower Porn
Even flowers do it…
Cars, Imagery, RacingTimes Were Tough Before The GoPro
Times were tough before the GoPro…
Girls, Imagery, Moon, Photography, Sexist, Space, WomenWent To The Moon, Took 5 Photos. Went To The Bathroom, Took 37 Photos.
Went to the moon, took 5 photos. Went to the bathroom, took 37 photos.
Computers, Imagery, InternetNew Mail
10 years ago…
Bananas, Carving, Food, Guns, Imagery, WeaponsBanana Gun
Banana gun…
Africa, Animals, Imagery, Lions, SafarisShould I Tell Them I’m Here?
Should I tell them I’m here?
Facebook, ImageryI Think I Might Stay Home Tonight…
I think I might stay home tonight… Liver and Wallet like this.
Babies, Court, Imagery, Jail, Judges3 Years In Jail For Stealing My Nose
3 years in jail for stealing my nose!
New Zealand, RacistKiwi Air Disaster
New Zealand’s worst air disaster occurred earlier today…
Clippit, Imagery, Microsoft, Office, Paperclips, WorkIt Looks Like You Are Wasting Office Supplies. Would You Like Some Help?
Clippit: It looks like you are wasting office supplies. Would you like some help?
America, Imagery, RacistAmerican Measures
American Measures: An Arbitrary Retarded Rollercoaster
Computer Games, ImageryVideo Games Don’t Make Us Violent – Lag Does!
Video games don’t make us violent – lag does!
Imagery, Mobiles, Mouse Traps, Phones, TelstraCustomer Retention
Free Phone Telstra Style.
Alcohol, Imagery, Irish, RacistIrish Yoga
Irish Yoga.
Computers, Geeky, It, Technology101 Things You Do Not Want...
101 Things You Do Not Want Your System Administrator to say.
Australia, Chillis, Food, Racist, TexasAn Australian Chilli Tester In Texas…
An Australian chilli tester in Texas…
Animals, Cats, Imagery, Mayans, PredictionsWorst Apocalypse Ever
[A grumpy cat the day the Mayan calendar ended] “Still Here. Worst Apocalypse Ever.”
Animals, ImageryWhat Animals Dream...
What animals dream.
Risqué, WorkThe Boss’s Quandary
The Boss’s Quandary…
Chewing Gum, Imagery, WarningsDo Not Swallow Chewing Gum
Warning: Do not swallow chewing gum!
Animals, Dogs, Driving, Imagery, SexistDog Decides Better Driver
My wife believes she is a better driver. I let our dog decide.
Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, Sexist, WorkJob Application
Sexist job application.
Imagery, SexistCall The Rescue Squad!
I’m sorry dear. I can’t hear you. I’m in the kitchen, making you a sandwich.
Animals, Bread, Dogs, Food, ImageryI’m Inbred!
I’m Inbred!
Animals, Birds, Imagery, SeagullsSomebody Come Look At This
Somebody Come Look at This
Animals, Bread, Dogs, Food, ImageryBread Dog
The Amazing Bread Dog.
Animals, Jokes, Puns, Racing, SnailsI Took The Shell Off My Racing Snail, Thinking It Would Make Him Run Faster.
I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster.
How To Make Sure You’re A Normal Person
A quick and easy test to determine if you are a normal person…
Facebook, Geeky, Imagery, InternetGoogle+ Versus Facebook
Google Plus versus Facebook
Darth Vader, ImageryBreathe Right
Darth Vader going for some Breathe Right.
Canada, Imagery, Protests, RiotsCanadian Riots
Canadian Riots: Sorry to bother you, but perhaps you should take a break as our mayor?
Animals, Cats, Imagery, WorkI Used To Smile… Until I Worked Retail.
I used to smile… until I worked retail.
Animals, Cats, Ducks, Imagery, Robots, Sharks, VacuumsRobot Vacuum Cat Shark Duck Chase
Robot Vacuum Cat Shark Duck Chase.
Agony Aunt, Cheating, Dear Abby, Imagery, Motorbikes, Relationships, SexistDear Abby, I’ve Never Written To You Before…
Dear Abby, I’ve never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision…
Chess, Feminists, Imagery, Sexist, WomenHow To Play Chess
How to Play Chess: Whites go first. The Queen must protect the King.
Board Games, ImageryMarry Me
Scrabble Edition.
Imagery, PhotographyOlympus Fights Back
Olympus Fights Back: Canon versus Olympus
ImageryKermit Sees The Doctor
Have a seat Kermit. What I’m about to tell you might come as a big shock…
Imagery, Odin, PoliticalVote Odin
The left wing said they’d abolish poverty; right wing said they’d abolish bureaucracy. Odin said he’d abolish ice giants. Where are the ice giants? Vote Odin!
Homeless, SexistSledgehammer Psychology
A business man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner…
Alligators, Animals, Crocodiles, ImageryHow To Tell Alligators And Crocodiles Apart
It’s not that difficult to tell alligators and crocodiles apart…
Bipolar, Graffiti, Imagery, SignsBipolar Awesome
I hate being bi-polar. It’s awesome.
Animals, Ducklings, Ducks, ImageryBeware Of Cute Duckling Scam
Beware of Cute Duckling Scam…
Australia, New Zealand, RacistAn Aussie Taxidermist In New Zealand…
An Aussie Taxidermist in New Zealand…
Australia, Imagery, Kevin Rudd, PoliticalThe Many Hands Of Kevin Rudd
The many hand gestures of Kevin Rudd.
Geeky, Imagery, InternetYour Computer Is Broadcasting Your IP...
Your computer is broadcasting your IP over the Internet…
Food, Imagery, TurkeyRoast Turkey With A Doll Head
I was watching TV when I head my Dad in the kitchen laughing to himself. When I got up to see what he was doing, I walked in on this…
Animated, Geeky, Imagery, PhotoshopAdobe Photoshop CS6 Has Stopped Working
The realest photography struggle ever…
Australia, Imagery, Julia Gillard, Kevin Rudd, PoliticalWhere Was I Before I Was So Rudely Interrupted?
[Kevin Rudd] Where was I before I was so rudely interrupted?
MedicalSeek And Find You…
I shall seek and find you…
Animals, Bugs, Flies, Imagery, Joke, MitesHey, Bug On My Back…
Hey, bug on my back, are you a mite? I mite be. Stupidest pun I ever heard…
ImageryFingers Move
I think you’re spending too much time on the computer. Your fingers move when you talk…
Emoji, Imagery, Phones, SmsEmoji
Alien blood transfusions are illegal for ghosts, but beach chickens win!
Imagery, Kim Jong-un, North Korea, SnickersKim, Eat A Snickers
Kim Jong-un: I’m going to nuke everyone. Kim, eat a Snickers. Kim: Why? Because you turn into a war mongler when you’re hungry. Better? Kim: Better.
Biology, Imagery, MathBiology, Multiplication And Division
Biology – the only science where multiplication and division mean the same thing…
Illusion, ImageryIllogical Lego
Illogical Lego.
JokeLaurel And Hardy
Laurel and Hardy were repairing their roof. All of a sudden, Hardy lost his balance and went tumbling on the ground…
Risqué, Sexist, ViagraDealing With Hunger Pangs
A woman asks her partner at breakfast time, “Would you like some bacon and eggs a slice of toast and, maybe, some grapefruit juice and coffee?”
Imagery, MoviesThere Are Three Kinds Of People: Impatient, Patient, And Rich.
There are three kinds of people: Impatient, patient, and rich.
Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery, WorkMario: Happy
Quit your day job and do what makes you happy.
Animals, Giraffes, Imagery, SpidersGiraffe Spider
A giraffe spots a spider…
America, Imagery, Mexico, RacistBorderline Offensive
You can make jokes about anything, just not Mexicans…
Animals, Fish, Imagery, Love, Romance, SmsAnyways, Best Of Luck Finding Your Fish
Long story short, we’re in love. I know it seems sudden but life is sudden like that, you know? Anyways, best of luck finding your fish.
Animals, Cupcakes, Food, Imagery, LemursA Lemur Who Has Discovered The Wondrousness Of Cupcakes For The Fist Time.
A lemur who has discovered the wondrousness of cupcakes for the fist time.
Hammer, ImageryStop! Hammer Time
Stop! Hammer Time!
Animals, Cats, ImageryOn A Roll
Don’t try to stop me… ‘cause I am on a roll.
Animals, Food, ImageryBoiled Lobster
“I hate the way they scream when you boil them!”
ImageryMichael Jackson's Dog
A rather mean impression of what Michael Jackson’s dog might look like, if it had similar surgery.
Knock Knock, PolicePolice: Knock Knock
Police: Knock Knock. Me: Who is it? Police: It’s the police.
America, Canada, RacistU.S. Ship Versus Canadian
U.S. Ship versus Canadian.
Comics, English, ImageryThe Accidental Conversation Loop
My greatest social fear: The Accidental Conversation Loop.
Boobs, Imagery, RisquéWater Enhanced Breasts
Water Enhanced Breasts…
Beer, ImagerySix Die In Horror Smash
Six Die in Horror Smash.
ImageryTimes Have Changed
An image from an operating manual for the SAGE air defense system
Geeky, Imagery, Ninjas, Pirates, ZombiesSurvival Tracking Guide
The Pirate, the Ninja, & the Zombie…
Alcohol, Imagery, SexistLet’s Go For A Drink…
Goldstar Beer Ads: What goes through the mind of men and women when they’re asked to go for a drink…
Imagery, RisquéAdult Dog Store
A dog carries an inflatable leg from an Adult Dog Store.
Canada, RacistAn Ontarian Wanted To Become A Newfie…
An Ontarian wanted to become a Newfie…
Accidents, Cars, ImagerySorry: A Bus Accident
Sorry: A Bus Accident
Illusion, ImageryTwelve Or Thirteen?
Wait until the group changes position. Is it twelve or thirteen?
Cars, ImageryCar Alarms
Car alarms: They piss me off!
Bikes, Geeky, It, SexistAn IT Student Is Walking Along With His Bike…
An IT student is walking along with his bike…
100 Guidelines On Becoming An Evil Villain
World domination is everyone’s dream. It’s not a bad job really…
Babies, Cars, Imagery, StickersBaby On Board
Baby on Board
Cosmetics, ImageryPapercut Locator
Papercut Locator.
InternetMoronic Email Scam
Nigerian spam…
ImageryBest Way To Freak Out Your Friends
Best way to freak out your friends: Do not open unless you plan to kill it (written on an upside down container)
ImageryHoliday House
The Holiday House
Australia, Games, Imagery, MonopolyAustralian Monopoly
Australian Monopoly: St Marys to Penrith Special Edition.
Animals, Irish, RacistIrish Pets
Two Irish men walk into a pet shop…
Australia, PoliticalPsalm 2009 – 2012
The First Book of Government.
Animals, Dogs, ImageryA Little Hand
I wish you could give me a little hand…
Imagery, Osama Bin Laden, Sport, Terrorists, Weight LiftingOsama Bin Liftin’
Osama Bin Liftin’
Cars, ImageryThe Park Anywhere Button
Self-explanatory really.
England, Imagery, UkAnarchy In The UK
Would you like some tea?
Medical, RisquéKeep Off The Grass
A Nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothes, entered…
Fire, Fire Extinguishers, ImageryFire Extinguisher Fire
Fire Extinguisher Fire: What do you do now?
GeekyUnusual EBay Feedback
A+++! Would read this amusing page again…
America, Democracy, Imagery, TvWelcome To The USA
The Government where the money’s made up and the debt doesn’t matter.
ImageryProcrastination Issues
I’m taking care of my procrastination issues; just you wait and see.
Advertising, Gay, Imagery, Showers, VintageBradley Group Showers
Bradley Group Showers.
Babies, ImageryDraw Fake Eyebrows On Your Baby
Draw fake eyebrows on your baby. Then sit back and enjoy the humour.
English, Grammar, ImageryGrammar Matters
Two Google searches: One for “how can u” and one for “how can an individual”
Dads, Imagery, Jokes, Phones, SmsSometimes I Sit On The Floor And Put My Arms Around My Knees And Lean Forward
Dad: Sometimes I sit on the floor and put my arms around my knees and lean forward. Daughter: Huh? Dad: Cuz that’s how I roll!
Apple, Bill Gates, Computers, Heaven, Imagery, Microsoft, Phones, Religious, Steve Jobs, WindowsSteve Jobs & Bill Gates Discuss Heaven
Steve Jobs & Bill Gates Discuss Heaven: It doesn’t have any wall or fence…
Beer, Calendars, Imagery, Mayans, Predictions2 Mayan Guys
[2 Mayan Guys] Wanna beer? I’m working on this calendar, but I guess if I don’t finish it won’t be the end of the world.
Alphabet, Games, ImageryAlphabet Game
The Alphabet Game is a car game played to amuse travellers on long car rides.
Brisbane, Imagery, Logan, Racist, WoodridgeSimba & Woodridge
But what about that shadowy place?
Fortune Cookies, ImageryYou Are Not Illiterate.
You are not illiterate.
Boats, Books, Fishing, Reading, Sexist, WomenNever Argue With A Woman
Never Argue with a Woman…
SexistMars Vs. Venus
Mars versus Venus…
Animals, Imagery, RacoonsOh… Hi… Umm… Meow?
Oh… hi… Umm… meow?
CarsMini Cooper
A guy driving a Mini Cooper pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce…
Imagery, WaterThe Deadly Facts About Water
The Deadly Facts about Water
Apple, Computers, Decals, Imagery, Laptops, Mac, Macbook, Stickers, TechnologyCreative Apple MacBook Stickers
A collection of creative Apple MacBook stickers & decals.
Children, Families, Imagery, Parenting, SchoolWhen I Grow Up… I Want To Be Like Mommy!
I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer…
Boobs, Imagery, RisquéBoob Staring
Shirt: Please tell your boobs to quit staring at my eyes.
Computers, ImageryAlready Exists
skdjaskdhsajdahsdjashds.jpg already exists. Do you want to replace it? You've got to be kidding me.
Geeky, ImageryDied
…from not forwarding that text message to 10 people.
GeekySpellcheck Not Needed
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy…
Cats, Comics, ImageryPop Out Of Bed
If people were meant to pop out of bed we’d all sleep in toasters.
Animals, Dogs, ImageryDog Poo Bin
If your dog does a poo please put it in a litter bin.
Coffee, Hipsters, Imagery, SignsHow Did The Hipster Burn His Tongue?
How did the hipster burn his tongue? He sipped on his coffee before it was cool.
Beer, Imagery, Logan, Prams, Racist, Victoria BitterLogan Priorities
Logan Priorities.
Geeky, ImageryOhm
…ohm.
Al Qaeda, Bin Laden, Imagery, Political, TerrorismI Usually Get 9/11
I don’t always get rated on my terrorism attacks, but when I do, I usually get 9/11.
Bananas, Food, Imagery, SausagesBanana Sausage
Banana sausage…
Accidents, Food, ImageryMilkshake Meets Door
A woman runs into a door carrying two milkshakes.
Animals, Bears, Imagery, PenguinsDo One Brave Thing Today
Do one brave thing today… then run like hell!
Imagery, Jobs, WorkHonesty: Your Greatest Weakness
Interviewer: What would you consider to be your greatest weakness?
Animals, Imagery, SharksSharks Are A Lot Friendlier Without Pointy Teeth
Sharks are a lot friendlier without pointy teeth.
Animals, Imagery, JokeThe World’s Funniest Joke
The World’s Funniest Joke…
English, GrammarThat’s What She Said
That’s what she said.
Imagery, PinterestIf You Like It Then You Shoulda Put A Pin On It
If you like it then you shoulda put a pin on it!
Animals, Cats, Cockroaches, Dogs, Imagery, Men, WomenThe Circle Of Life
The Circle of Life: Who is afraid of who?
Imagery, PoliticalWill Be President For Food
Boy sitting next to sign “No Campaigning beyond This Point” holding sign “Will Be President for Food”.
Joke, MathMath Problem
John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now?
Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Internet ExplorerWhat Are We? Browsers!
What are we? Browsers! What do we want? More speed! And when do we want it? Right now!
Cats, Imagery, MailboxesMailman Jumped 15 Feet
Mailman jumped 15 feet. Dog was right. This is fun.
Animals, Beavers, Birds, Cats, Dogs, Fish, Frogs, Horses, Imagery, Puns, Rabbits, ZebraPunny Animals
Who ever invented the “knock-knock jokes” should get a no-bell prize!
Cars, Imagery, MosquitosA Mosquito With A Helmet
Mosquitos flying towards a car.
Advertising, Cocaine, Drugs, Imagery, Toothache, VintageCocaine Toothache Drops
Cocaine Toothache Drops: Instantaneous Cure! 15¢.
Football, Relationships, Sexist, SportThe Loving Husband
A man had two of the best tickets for the opening State of Origin match. As he sits down, another man comes along and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him…
Actors, Famous People, Imagery, Movie Stars, Robert De NiroRobert De Niro, De Faro
First Robert De Niro, then Robert De Faro.
Animals, Cats, ImageryI’m Glad You’re Up
I’ve put all of your folded shirts on the floor for you.
Mechanics, UnderwearAlways Wear Underwear
Always wear underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle…
Bob Hope, Imagery, Johnny Cash, Kevin Bacon, Steve JobsDon’t Let Kevin Bacon Die
20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have No Cash, No Hope and No Jobs. Please don’t let Kevin Bacon die.
ImageryPositive For Coke
You’re fired Jack, the lab results just came back and you tested positive for Coke.
ImageryTechnically Correct
…but still wrong.
ImageryMissed You...
Image of a soldier pointing a gun towards the camera with caption “When you first left, I missed you badly… I WONT THIS TIME”
Geeky, MusicWhat If The Beatles Had Been Computer Freaks?
What if the Beatles had been computer freaks?
Capitalism, Imagery, PoliticalSuffering From Capitalism
Feeling sad and depressed? Are you anxious? Worried about the future? Feeling isolated and alone? You might be suffering from Capitalism.
ShoppingGrocery Shopping On An Empty Stomach
Accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I’m the proud owner of aisle 4.
Animals, Circuses, Dwarfs, Hippopotamuses, ImageryHippo Eats Dwarf
A hippopotamus has swallowed a dwarf in a circus accident…
PoliticalPolitically Correct Primer
A politically correct primer.
Facebook, Imagery, TattoosTough Tattoos
Tough Tattoos: You Don’t Have to Like Me.
Imagery, New Years, ResolutionsNew Year’s Resolutions – Again
New Year’s Resolutions – Again
Cars, Imagery, PetrolThe Bank Account Gas Ratio
The depressing ratio between your bank account, and your gas tank.
Australia, Imagery, Racist, Tintin, WynnumThe Adventures Of TinTin: TinTin In Wynnum
The Adventures of TinTin: TinTin in Wynnum.
Computers, GeekyRandom Number
A simple function to return a random number.
Children, Dating, Imagery, Internet, RisquéLittle Kid Lover
I’m signing up for an online dating service. I just need to pick a username. “Little Kid Lover”, that way people will know where my priorities are at.
Babies, ImageryResisting A Rest
If I refuse to nap… is that resisting a rest?
English, Grammar, ImageryComforting A Grammar Nazi
When comforting a grammar nazi, I always say softly, “there, their, they’re”
Imagery, PlanesAerodynamics Simplified
How planes fly.
Animated, Australia, Imagery, Internet, Political, TelstraBuilding The NBN From Telstra Copper
Building the NBN from Telstra Copper
Einstein, Imagery, Phones, TechnologyThe Day Einstein Feared
The day that Einstein feared may have finally arrived.
Animals, Animated, Bananas, Cats, ImageryCat & Banana
The cat and the banana.
Alcohol, Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, WindowsWindows: File Missing
Windows cannot find the file. Would you like some wine instead?
English, WordsWhat Is A Word Made Up Of 4 Letters Yet Is Also Made Up Of 3
What is a word made up of 4 letters yet is also made up of 3. Although is written with 8 letters, and then with 4. Rarely consists of 6, and never is written with 5.
Imagery, Jobs, Pie Charts, Statistics, WorkChance Of Keeping Your Job If You’re Wrong More Than 75% Of The Time
Chance of keeping your job if you’re wrong more than 75% of the time.
Animals, Fish, ImageryCan February March? No, But April May.
Can February March? No, but April May.
Alcohol, Beer, Imagery, WineIn Wine There Is Truth
In Wine there is Truth. In Beer there is Strength. In Water there is Bacteria.
All Your Base, Geeky, Imagery, InternetAll Your Base...
All your base are belong to us.
Books, Imagery, PhobiasEverything You Wanted To Know About Phobias
Everything you wanted to know about Phobias (but were afraid to ask)
Illusion, ImageryThey See Us Rollin’
They See Us Rollin’… We Aren’t…
Got To Love Drunk People
>A man, and his wife are awakened at 3 o’clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door…
Illusion, ImageryMoving Illusion
A psychedelic illusion where a brightly coloured non-moving image appears to be pulsating in and out.
Energy Drinks, Geeky, Imagery, Rubiks CubesMonster Energy Drinks & Rubiks Cubes
Monster energy drinks & Rubiks Cubes: Dude. You have a problem. Problem solved!
SexistMen’s Rules
We always hear the rules from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side…
Animals, Imagery, SealsThe Seal Of Approval
The Seal of Approval…
Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryCat: The Dog Went Missing
Cat: The dog went missing? Hahaha! Hahaha! I’m sorry human. Hahaha… no seriously, I’m so sad…
Adelaide, Australia, Chairs, Disaster, Earthquake, ImageryThe 2011 Adelaide Earthquake
The 2011 Adelaide Earthquake: We will rebuild.
Imagery, Sexist, WomenFeminine Instincts
If a girl ever pulls out a knife on you during an argument, pull out some bread and mayo. Her feminine instincts will kick in and she’ll make you a sandwich.
Animals, Imagery, Seals, SharksDo Not Consume If Seal Is Broken!
Do not consume if seal is broken!
Buffering, Buffy, Imagery, TvBuffy Buffering
Buffy buffering…
Facebook, Imagery, NewspapersReal Life Facebook
I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles…
Aboriginal, Australia, RacistAboriginal Eggs
Two Aboriginal lads are riding along the Hume Highway on a motorbike…
ImageryCaution: Door May Open
Caution: Door May Open.
Alligators, America, Animals, Australia, Bears, Birds, Crocodiles, Europe, Imagery, Moose, Puma, Rabbits, Sharks, Snakes, SpidersMost Dangerous Animals
How people in the colonies are still alive is beyond me…
Marriage, Religious, Sexist, WivesGood & Obedient Wives
And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world…
Africa, Animals, Cats, Imagery, Lions, TouristsThe Best Photo Caption
A western woman in Africa—presumably a tourist—squats to go to the toilet in the bush, pants down, toilet paper in hand, her backpack in the grass nearby; unaware a lion is sneaking up behind her. Captioned “if she hasn’t… she will soon”.
Geeky, ImageryCaps Lock
A visual representation of the use of caps lock.
Gandalf, Harry Potter, Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, Patrick Stewart, Star Trek, Star WarsHow To Offend Four Groups Of Geeks With One Picture
How to offend four groups of geeks with one picture.
Computers, GeekyMicrosoft Lightbulb Jokes
Microsoft Lightbulb Jokes.
Advertising, Australia, Billboards, CarsRAC Roadside Assistance Meltdown
You don’t want to be stuck out here.
PilotsBlind Pilots
You know, Bob, one of these days, they’re going to scream too late, and we’re all gonna die…
Flash, ImagerySteady Hand – A Game Of Skill
A game of skill, requiring a steady hand and keen eye – make sure you play at least the first two levels…
Food, ImageryBreakfast Alive
What happens if you wait too long before eating your breakfast?
Animals, Drugs, Imagery, RabbitsHigh Rabbits
Two rabbits getting high on marijuana.
Imagery, Risqué, SexSex Tape
I made a sex tape. Shhh!
Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, MsnMSN Shuts Down
We reminisce about “the good old days” of MSN…
SexistWinter Classes For Men
Winter Classes for Men at the Learning Centre for Adults
Imagery, RisquéToo Long
Her: Do you want to her a joke about my vagina? Nevermind… you’ll never get it! Her: Do you want to her a joke about my vagina? Nevermind… you’ll never get it!
Jokes, MathMath Joke
Math joke.
Animals, Imagery, SealsSeal This Opening
I was told to seal this opening, so here I am.
Irish, Racist, ReligiousAn Irish Daughter Had Not Been To Her Parent's House For Over Five Years...
An Irish daughter had not been to her parent’s house for over five years…
Geeky, ItHow To Please Your IT Department
How to please your IT department.
Beds, Hotels, Imagery, Phones, SheetsAlways Leave Your Hotel Room Like This
Always leave your hotel room like this
Imagery, Ocd, ShirtsI Have CDO. It’s Like OCD But All The Letters Are In Alphabetical Order.
I have CDO. It’s like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order. As they should be.
ImageryBribing Santa
Dear Santa, if you leave a new bike under the tree, I will give you the antidote to the poison I put in the milk.
Sexist, WomenWords Women Use
Words women use, and what they really mean.
Bones, ImageryI Found This Humerus
I found this humerus.
Computers, ImageryTimes Change
…but other things don’t.
Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Internet ExplorerBrowser Wars
Browser Wars: Chrome versus Firefox… and Internet Explorer…
Imagery, Sexist, Tv, WomenCooking Shows
If we watched cooking shows the way guys watch sports.
America, Democracy, PoliticalHow To Know When You’ve Met A Democrat
Just in case you have trouble knowing when you’ve met a Democrat…
America, Congress, Imagery, It Crowd, PoliticalCongress: Have You Tried Turning It Off And On Again?
Congress: have you tried turning it off and on again?
Imagery, Toilet PaperToilet Paper
A piece of toilet paper saving another piece…
Animals, Chickens, Chicks, ImageryHow To Pick Up Chicks
Instructional guide on how to pick up chicks.
Fire, ImageryFire Distinguisher
Fire Distinguisher: Yep, that’s fire…
BabiesA Baby’s Laughter Is One Of The Most Beautiful Sounds You’ll Ever Hear
A baby’s laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you’ll ever hear. Unless it’s 3 AM, you’re home alone, and you don’t have a baby.
Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery, SexistXBOX Girlfriend
A real girlfriend does not complain when her boyfriend is on his xbox…
Animals, Carrots, Food, Imagery, Rabbits, VegetablesSuccess Is Not Always What You See
Success is not always what you see…
Animals, Australia, Cockatoos, Flies, Imagery, Kangaroos, Kookaburras, Magpies, Possums, Snakes, Spiders, SunburnTypically Australian Problems
Some typically Australian problems that other people don’t face.
Advertising, Imagery, Men, Sexist, SignsThis Year Thousands Of Men Will Die From Stubbornness…
This year thousands of men will die from stubbornness. No we won’t.
ImageryWhy Women Live Longer Than Men
Genetics - Why women live longer than men.
PoliticalLabel Instructions
French Label Instructions
Geeky, ItNetwork Truths
The Twelve Networking Truths.
Drugs, Food, ImageryEminem Drug Bust
Eminem Drug Bust.
Geeky, ImageryIPad Stone
iPad versus a stone.
Asian, Facebook, Imagery, RacistHumans Of Sunnybank
In Asia culture, it’s important for wife to trust husband and let him be the leader in the house. That’s why after I am married, I will always leave big decision to him – for example, choosing between buy me a Chanel for birthday or go sleep on sofa for a whole month instead.
Advertising, April Fools, Ikea, Imagery, Product Recalls, ToolsIKEA Product Recall
IKEA product recall advert on April Fools Day
Animals, ImageryAntique Tables
Made Daily…
Animals, Cars, Cows, Drunk, ImageryDrunk Cows
Drunk Cows: Bruce you are drunk.
Sexist, WorkDon’t Copy If You Can’t Paste
Don’t copy if you can’t paste…
Dating, Imagery, Relationships, SexistAnd Then I Said
And Then I Said… The Differences Between Boys & Girls.
Advertising, Gay, Imagery, Ovaltine, VintageTo Wake Up Gay In The Morning…
To wake up gay in the morning just try this at Bedtime Tonight!
RacistAmerican History 101
American History 101
Animals, Cats, Godzilla, Imagery, KittensGodzilla Kitten
Terrifyingly cute…
Imagery, PhonesPhone Tails
That’s right dear, our ancestors had tails.
Animals, Dogs, ImagerySo We Got Pugsy A New Chew Toy…
So we got Pugsy a new chew toy…
Computers, GeekyMessage From Your IT Deptartment
Message from your IT Deptartment…
Cars, Geeky, TechnologyCars And Computers
General Motors doesn’t have a help line for people who don’t know how to drive because people don’t buy cars like they buy computers, but imagine if they did…
Advertising, Boobs, Imagery, Sexist, VintageSabrina Projects
Sabrina demonstrates the world’s finest projection equipment…
Balloons, Hot Air Balloons, ImageryHot Air Balloons
Hot Air Balloons - Boring 99% of the time.
Food, Imagery, SexistBut God, She Won’t Even Make Me A Sandwich…
But God, She Won’t Even Make Me a Sandwich…
Australia, Imagery, Nrl, Nsw, Qld, Rugby, SportNSW Playing Economically: 2 Punches Per Gallen.
NSW playing economically. 2 punches per Gallen.
Beaches, Imagery, WomenBitches Be Trippin’
Bitches be trippin’
Apple, Imagery, Ios, PatentsOlden Day Slide To Unlock
Slide to unlock: Apple patent #1964022.
English, Grammar, Risqué, School, University, WritingShort Story
A college class was told they had to write a short story in as few words as possible.…
Animated, Illusion, Imagery, Impossible Triangle, Penrose TrianglePenrose Triangle
Penrose Triangle Animation.
Talking Clock
Why, that’s my Talking Clock…
Chocolate, Geeky, Homes, Honey, Imagery, Milk, PhonesQuite Literally…
I phone, you tube. Hi honey, I’m home. Chocolate milk shake.
Dishes, ImageryDishes
Dishes: They don’t do themselves.
Animals, Cats, DogsCats And Dogs
As seen in a dog’s diary…
Imagery, PhonesJester App
Sorry–you've been replaced by an app…
Internet, RisquéCybersex How-Not-To
Cybersex how it should not be…
America, Capitalist, ImageryIn Capitalist America…
Bank robs you!
Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, SexistAmazing Hidden Images
Amazing Hidden Images!
RacistOnly In America...
Only in America…
Flash, ImageryVision Test
Vision Test.
Animals, ImageryHow Dishwashers Really Work
How dishwashers really work…
Boobs, Cars, Imagery, Risqué, SexistShe Might Scratch The Paint
I know what you’re thinking… she might scratch the paint.
Imagery, SnowDead Snowmen
Gruesomely dead snowmen.
Animals, Boats, Fish, Fishing, ImageryGive A Man A Fish And He Has Food For A Day
Give a man a fish and he has food for a day. Teach a man to fish and he has to buy bamboo rods, graphite reels, monofilament lines, neoprene waders, creels, tackleboxes, lures, flies, spinners, worm rigs, slip sinkers, offset hooks, gore-tex hats, 20 pocket vests, fish finders, depth sounders, radar, boats, trailers, global positioning systems, coolers and six-packs.
ImageryLegoland Will Never Be The Same...
Legoland will never be the same…
Animals, Imagery, PigsBacon Seed
Bacon seed.
ImagerySimple Eye Examination Test
A simple eye examination chart.
Aeroplanes, Aircraft, Imagery, WarRequesting Air Support
Requesting Air Support! “Believe in yourself. You can do it!”
Racist, RedneckA Redneck Love Poem
Susie Lee done fell in love…
Animals, ImageryGeneral Hierarchical Management Structure
I’ve never seen a Flow Chart described so clearly.
Apple, Imagery, Ipad, Portal, Technology, ValveValve’s “Portal”, As An IPad Decoration.
Valve’s “Portal”, as an iPad decoration.
Imagery, MoviesTitanic Ice Bucket Challenge
Titanic ALS Ice Bucket Challenge: “I accept your ice water challenge”.
Australia, SexistAussie Men
Aussie men… struggling with the booze…
Animals, Cats, Imagery, RacoonsCat Found
Cat Found. Very aggressive.
Cars, ImageryGarage Door Covers
Amusing garage door covers
English, GrammarBipolar Awesome
English can be weird. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
Aboriginal, Australia, RacistAboriginal Spongebob Spotted In Cairns
Aboriginal Spongebob spotted in Cairns.
Computers, Geeky, ImagerySpeed Reader
Wow you read that fast! You must be a speed reader!
Imagery, Risqué, SignsNo Public Motor Boating Permitted
No public motor boating permitted.
Cars, Imagery, PoliceMisleading The Public
$100 for speeding and $250 for misleading the public…
Helpful Hints
Helpful Hints
Diets, Food, Paleolithic DietPaleolithic Diet
Something’s just not right—our air is clean, our water is pure, we all get plenty of exercise, everything we eat is organit and free-range, and yet nobody lives past thirty.
Geeky, InternetCannot Find The Damn File
Cannot find the damn file…
Cameras, Cannons, Imagery, NikonI Have A Cannon
You have a Nikon? I have a Cannon.
Cars, Imagery, Time TravelAnnual Meeting Of Time Travellers
Annual Meeting of Time Travellers.
Children, Imagery, ParentingAn Angry Child
If she doesn’t put me down in about two seconds, I will be forced to use my fist!
Cars, Computers, GeekyMicrosoft Car
Microsoft and General Motors on the Automobile.
Animals, Dogs, ImageryDog Queue
Sometimes, even dogs have to queue…
Children, Parenting, SchoolLetter To A Mother / School Report
It is with great happiness that I’m telling you that I eloped with my new boyfriend…
Imagery, SpidersSpider’s Remember
Remember when you threw a shoe at me and I fell somewhere behind the bed? I remember too.
Imagery, InternetProcrastination
Have a little look at the Internet…
SexistGirl’s And Boy’s Diaries
A girl and a boy and their diaries…
PoliticalBush And The Queen
While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen…
Imagery, SocksThe Divorce Rate Among My Socks Is Astonishing.
The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.
Animals, Dogs, Drugs, High, ImageryDog, How High Are You?
Dog, how high are you? Yes.
Geeky, InternetAmusing Chat
Humour from the world of Internet Chat
Comics, Education, ImageryUnused Diploma.
I’d like to return this. It’s unused. This is your diploma. Cash is fine.
Imagery, TvThinking Outside The Square
A sideways television.
Marriage, SexistSecrets To A Happy Marriage
Secrets to a Happy Marriage…
Imagery, Numbers, Star WarsWhy Was Five Afraid Of Seven?
Why was Five afraid of Seven? Because Six Seven Eight.
Geeky, ImageryBlackboard
School kid writing Code on blackboard as punishment.
Agony Aunt, Cheating, Clinton, Dear Abby, Dear Abby, Political, RelationshipsDear Abby, My Husband Is A Liar And A Cheat…
My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything…
Police, RisquéPanties
Policewoman: Anything you say will be taken down!
Imagery, MedicalHearing Aids
Hearing aids…
Books, Imagery, Racist, ShopsWong Fook Hing Book Store
If you cannot find the book that you are looking for, then you’re obviously in the… Wong Fook Hing Book Store!
Bogans, Imagery, Iphone, SpeakersBogan Bass
Bogan Bass: Yet somehow still better than Beats by Dr Dre.
Babies, Drinking, Imagery, Studying, The RockWhat Are Your Plans For The Weekend?
What are your plans for the weekend? Studying. [shocked look] Drinking! Drinking!
Imagery, Money, Monopoly, StrippersMonopoly Money For Fake Boobs
I think it’s only fair to throw monopoly money at strippers with fake boobs.
AustraliaText Of A Letter From A Kid From Eromanga To Mum And Dad.
Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad.
Geeky, ImageryReach Out
Reach Out!
ImageryTrapped Miners
The first photo of the trapped miners…
Cycling, Drugs, SportI Think It Is Just Terrible And Disgusting How Everyone Has Treated Lance Armstrong
I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he achieved, winning seven Tour de France races while on drugs. When I was on drugs, I couldn’t even find my bike.
ImageryPolice Station Toilet Stolen
Police Station Toilet Stolen… Cops have nothing to go on.
Imagery, Step Ladders, ToolsStep Ladder
The Troubles of Being a Step Ladder…
Australia, Democracy, Imagery, Political, RisquéAmazing Holes
Amazing Holes from Around the World.
Drugs, Imagery, Meth, R2-d2, Robots, Star WarsMeth: Before & After
Meth: Before & After (or R2-D2 versus R2-FU).
Mayans, Movies, Predictions, The Hobbit, TolkienMayans Predicting The Hobbit Movie
Keep calm. The Mayans were simply counting down to The Hobbit movie.
Jewish, RacistBacon Tree
Back in cowboy times, a westbound wagon train was lost and low on food…
Hunger Games, Imagery, Katniss Everdeen, Kristen Stewart, Movies, Movie Stars, Smiling, TwilightKristen Stewart Smiles
I don’t always smile, but when I do, I don’t.
Beer, Computers, GeekyIf Beer Was Like Operating Systems...
If Beer was like Operating Systems…
Advertising, Babies, ImageryGood Things Are Twice As Good In Cellophane
Good things are twice as good in Cellophane!
Einstein, ImageryYou Matter
You are living, you occupy space, you have a mass… you matter.
ImageryBird Flu
I’m not worried about this bird flu…
Imagery, Israeli, Palestinian, Political, RacistIsraeli Settlers
Of course we want peace–this piece and this piece and this piece and this piece…
Cars, Imagery, Movies, Pulp Fiction, The RockHave You Seen Pulp Fiction?
Have you seen Pulp Fiction? Yeah, but I didn’t like it.
America, Animals, Australia, Britain, Cows, India, Irish, PoliticalYou Have Two Cows
The eponymous cows is used to demonstrate the advantages and flaws of certain economic systems.
Imagery, Psychotherapists, SignsPsycho The Rapist
Psycho the Rapist It’s one word George!
Animals, Imagery, ZebrasI Love You Zebra
Bite marks are love notes written in flesh. I love you zebra.
Computer Games, Imagery, Microsoft, XboxXbox One Vs. An Ordinary Brick
Xbox One vs. An Ordinary Brick: Price, DRM Free, Requires Internet, Region Locked…
Imagery, ToiletsWalked Into A Public Bathroom
Walked into a public bathroom. Saw this and heard “hello?”
Boats, Burials, Cemetries, Funerals, Imagery, SexistBoat Funeral
A funeral procession pulled into a cemetery. Several carloads of family members followed a black truck towing a boat with a coffin in it…
Advertising, ImageryColgate Dental Floss Advertising Campaign
Colgate have created an ingenious campaign to promote their dental floss.
Australia, Cars, Ghosts, Pub, Storm, SupernaturalA True Australian Ghost Story
This story happened a short while ago near Brisbane, and even though it sounds a little Alfred Hitchcock… it’s (supposedly) true.
Australia, Cricket, Imagery, VideoHow Cricket Looks To Most People
How Cricket Looks to Most People.
The World’s Shortest Books
The World’s Shortest Books
Alcohol, Books, Imagery, WineBook Club
My book club only reads wine labels.
Boobs, Imagery, Sexist, WomenI Wish These Were Brains
Sexist, but contains breasts…
Corporate, Geeky, ImageryPatent Infringement
Eating Fruit…
Food, Imagery, Microwaves, ScienceNo Science In This Microwave
Food only. Absolutely no science in this microwave.
Animals, Dachshunds, Dogs, Imagery, RacingDachshund Racing
Googled “dachshund racing”. Was not disappointed.
GrammarI. Like. It. How. When. You. Read. This. The. Little. Voice. In. Your. Head. Takes. Pauses.
I. Like. It. How. When. You. Read. This. The. Little. Voice. In. Your. Head. Takes. Pauses.
ImagerySuperman’s Social Network Nightmare
Superman’s Social Network Nightmare.
English, VegetablesThe Correct Way To Spell Potato
The correct way to spell potato is “GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU”.
Animated, Flash, Geeky, ImageryL33t H4x0r H4ml37
Tales for the L33T PATR TOO - HAMLET
Imagery, WifiWireless Networks
Wireless networks could save your life!
Camping, Grammar, Imagery, TentsYou Can’t Run Through A Campground
You can’t run through a campground. You can only ran, because it’s past tents.
Political, RisquéHillary Clinton Goes To Her Doctor For A Physical…
Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical…
Animals, Animated, ImageryLesson Of The Day
You should never do anything wrong, it will catch up with you…
Apple, Computers, Flash, Geeky, Imagery, MacMacintosh
Mac Hater…
Imagery, Shirts, Tourettes, TshirtsWhat Do We Want? A Cure For Tourettes!
What do we want? A cure for tourettes! When do we want it? …
Computer Games, Imagery, MarioIt’s A-me, Mario!
Mario emerging from a drainpipe.
Computer Games, Imagery, SexistThe Way Girls Play Computer Games
The way girls play computer games.
WorkPhysical Fitness
This department requires no physical fitness program.
SexistA Love Story With A Happy Ending
Once upon a time, a bloke asked a girl “Will you marry me?”
Animals, Camels, Children, Donkeys, ImageryYour Child Is Being Eaten By A Camel
Your child is being eaten by a camel. Do you… a) Save your child, or b) Take a photo?
Cars, Geeky, Imagery, SqlSpeed Camera Hack
Car with SQL injection taped to the front.
AlcoholCalm Living
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me today, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives.
Advertising, Imagery, Rice, Risqué, Sexist, VintageVa-Rice-Ity: My Man Likes Something Unexpected…
My man likes something unexpected now and then. That’s why I serve him rice.
Imagery, ReligiousBelieve In Reincarnation
Yeah, well, I didn’t believe in reincarnation when I was your age, either.
Imagery, Marriage, Onions, People, ProposingProposing With An Onion
Proposing with an onion: Guaranteed to cry.
Cars, ImagerySomething Wrong Officer?
Something wrong officer?
Accidents, Animals, Canada, Imagery, Moose, News, TvCanadian News
Canadian News: Quebec snowmobiler dies after driving under a moose.
Computers, Evolution, ImagerySomething Went Terribly Wrong
Something, somewhere went terribly wrong.
Babies, Imagery, InstructionsBaby Instructions
Some useful instructions to keep baby alive and well…
Imagery, Seniors, WarDrafting Guys Over 60
New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!
Animated, Coffee, ImageryAnimated Coffee
Coffee with emotion.
Beer, ChartsBeer Troubleshooting Chart
Beer Troubleshooting Chart.
SexistAustralia And Mateship
Mateship amongst Men & Women: The differences…
Autocorrect, Imagery, Iphone, SmsBroken Penis
I broke my penis and it exploded all over my pants.
SexistMen Are Like...
Men are like…
Animals, Australia, Crocodiles, Emus, Imagery, Kangaroos, Koalas, Kookaburras, Police, Sharks, Spiders, Woolworths26 Everyday Occurrences In Australia
When you live on a barely hospitable desert island that was once a continent-sized penal colony, your life tends to be a little more badass than the average person’s.
Accidents, Cars, Imagery, TargetMissed Target
Missed Target: So close…
Books, ImageryRead Your Book Case
A bookcase worth reading.
Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery, TechnologyCombo Hit: Streetfighter Style
Combo Hit: Streetfighter Style
Bacon, ImageryTen Pieces Of Bacon
If I had 10 pieces of bacon, and you took 4, what would you have? Yes, that’s right you’d have a black eye and a bruised hand.
Animals, Birds, Imagery, Missing Posters, Paper, Pigeons, PostersHave You Seen This Bird?
I met this bird by the tree near the library. We chilled for like, 5 minutes, & then without any warning he just flew away. We really hit it off. So if you see him, please let him know I miss him.
Africa, Animals, Imagery, MoviesThe Lion King: Proof At Last
Pumbaa & Timon…
Idiots
Idiots everywhere…
Animals, Dogs, ImageryHide Yo Kids!
Hide yo kids! Hide yo wife!
Australia, Bank Notes, Banks, Imagery, Money, PoliticalAustralian Bank Notes
Australian Bank Notes.
Fifteen Things To Do At The Supermarket…
Fifteen things to do at the supermarket while your spouse is taking their sweet time…
Boobs, Elevators, Imagery, RisquéThis Morning, I Was Beaten Up By A Busy Woman In An Elevator
This morning, I was beaten up by a busy woman in an elevator. I was staring at her boobs when she said, “would you please press one?”. So I did. I don’t remember much after that.
Animals, Birds, Imagery, Notices, Parrots, SignsParrot BBQ
Parrot Lost: Parrot BBQ!
Acronyms, Imagery, Iphone, PhonesIDK LY TTYL
IDK LY TTYL: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later.
Imagery, ShopsBall-type Deodorant
Her: Is it the ball-type deodorant you want sir? Him: Oh no miss – it’s for under my arms!
Children, Grace, Prayers, ReligiousSix Year Old Praying
A mother invited some people to dinner…
Sexist, WomenWhen A Woman Says “what?”
When a woman says “what?”, it’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
Animals, Cats, Geeky, ImagerySchrödinger’s Cat
Wanted: Dead & Alive…
Fonts, Imagery, Running, Sport, Usain BoltUsain Bold, Usain Italic
Usain Bolt: Usain Bold, Usain Italic.
Drink, Food, ImageryThings To Eat And Drink In Public
Things to eat and drink in public.
Imagery, SexistDifference Between Men And Women
The difference between men and women…
Risqué, Sexist, WorkSentence Structure: Why Sentence Structure Is Important
Sentence Structure: Why sentence structure is important.
Australia, Games, Imagery, Logan, Monopoly, RacistLogan Monopoly
Logan Monopoly…
Australia, Imagery, Kevin Rudd, PoliticalKevin Rudd’s Ego
Kevin Rudd’s Ego.
Babies, ImageryWomb Service
Hello, Womb Service? I’d like a double order of hot wings…
Imagery, PoliticalMad Magazine’s Boy Grows Up
The boy from Mad Magazine morphing into George Bush.
Animals, Imagery, KangaroosI Said Be Quiet! Don’t Make Me Come In There!
I said be quiet! Don’t make me come in there!
Animals, Animated, Hamsters, ImageryHamster Flying
How to make your hamster fly…
ImagerySmile
Smile…
ImagerySense
…this picture makes none.
SexistMen Are Happier
Men are Happier: What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Imagery, MusicI’m Not Just Another Brick In The Wall
We don’t need no education…
Batman, Imagery, Superman, WonderwomanIt Is Such A Drag When Someone In The Group Can’t Fly…
It is such a drag when someone in the group can’t fly… forcing everybody else to have to ride up the elevator too…
Coathangers, Imagery, WarningsDo Not Swallow Coathangers!
Caution: Do Not Swallow Coathangers!
Animals, Dogs, ImageryHow The Hell Is The Ball Still In Your Hand?
How the hell is the ball still in your hand?
Hands, Imagery, Risqué, Valentine’s DayValentine Hand
Of course I’ll be your valentine. Let’s stay home and watch some porn.
PhrasesWhen Someone Yells “STOP”…
When someone yells “STOP”, I never know if it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammertime, or I should collaborate and listen…
Animals, Fish, Girls, ImagerySaved A Fish From Drowning
Here is a heart warming picture of a little girl that saved a fish from drowning.
Imagery, Nietzsche, ReligiousNietzsche Is Dead
God is dead” ~Nietzsche / “Nietzsche is dead” ~God.
Animals, Dogs, ImageryAchilles’ Heel
You got a dog?! Yup! His name is Achilles…
Earth, ImageryHeld Hands Around The Equator
If the human population held hands around the equator, a significant portion of them would drown.
Animals, Beds, Dinosaurs, ImageryT-Rex Making A Bed
When you’re upset just imagine a T-Rex making a bed.
Flowcharts, Imagery, SexistHow To Argue With A Woman
A flowchart.
Books, ImageryMystery Books
You have to find them first…
Imagery, Keith Urban, MusiciansKeith Urban Accepted As Genuine Humanoid
Clint Felmingham: Did you know? Keith Urban is accepted by many Americans as a genuine humanoid/musician. Urban, a polymer composite (90% polyethene, 8% alcohol, 2% minor celebrity), was manufactured in Caboolture, Australia in 1987..
Imagery, Phones, SmsI Am Hungary
I am Hungary…
Hats, Imagery, SportYou Can’t Beat Stupid…
I wish they would invent something to keep the sun out of my eyes…
Pregnancy & Women: Questions
Pregnancy & Women: Frequently Asked Questions
Imagery…and So It Was.
It’s a Bird! It’s a Plane!
Geeky, Imagery, Movies, Star WarsStar Wars
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…
ImageryButtons
Lots of buttons…
Harry Potter, Imagery, Magic, Risqué, WandsReplace The Word “wand” With “dick” In Any Sentence In Harry Potter
Replace the word “wand” with “dick” in any sentence in Harry Potter…
Imagery, SexistRealistic Remotes
Some more useful remote controls we would like to see.
Imagery, Signs, WarningsThrew Caution To The Wind
Looks like someone threw caution to the wind.
Cars, ImageryFail Towing
Thank You for Using Fail Towing, Inc.
SchoolThe History Of The World
The History of the World, as written by the next generation…
Australia, Cooking, God, Imagery, KitchensIn God’s Kitchen
In God’s Kitchen: What are you cooking?
Australia, New Zealand, RacistKiwi Pig Sheep
Voted Best Joke of the Year in Australia…
Alice In Wonderland, Imagery, Movies, SexistUltimate Chick Flick
Ultimate chick flick: Two women fighting over a pair of shoes
George Bush, Imagery, Iran, Political, Weapons Of Mass Destruction, WmdI Can’t Believe The “WMD” Trick Is Working Again With Iran
I can’t believe the “WMD” trick is working again with Iran. Suckers…
Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, SexistDream Girl
Girl on beach with six breasts.
Animals, Australia, Dropbears, Imagery, KoalasDrop Bears – Department Of Dangerous Fauna Management
Dropbears are a very real danger to all Australians. Almost one in ten Australians has been attacked by a Dropbear, and the rate is even higher for foreign visitors. Don’t become another statistic. Always beware low branches and doorframes. Look up. Stay Alive.
Animated, Illusion, ImageryTwo Person Optical Illusion
Optical illusion: Keep your eyes on the cross, and see what happens.
ReligiousThe Atheist & The Bear
The Atheist and the Religious Bear
Bikinis, Burqa, Imagery, Muslim, Racist, SexistWhat A Cruel Male-dominated Culture
It’s a male dominated culture, no matter how you look at it…
SexistA Woman’s Wish
A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods…
Olympics, Racist, SportAthens Olympic Soccer Stadium
The Athens Olympic Stadium…
Daleks, Dr Who, Food, Garlic, Imagery, TvGarlek
Garlek.
Imagery, Reincarnation, WoodReincarnation Gone Horribly Wrong
Reincarnation gone horribly wrong
Imagery, Kitchens, Sexist, WomenFor Too Long The Voice Of Women Has Been Silenced
For too long the voice of women has been silenced. It’s time they had microphones in kitchens.
Imagery, SexistWomen: Yes, No, Maybe…
I think I have that women-talk all figured out…
Imagery, Men, SexistMen Have Feelings Too!
Men have feelings too! For example, we feel hungry.
Religious, Risqué, WorkCorporate Lessons
Corporate lessons.
Animals, Apples, Cats, Imagery, MathSeven Cats
If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?
Geeky, InternetGoogle
Try Google. Available in six of the world’s most common languages…
Animals, Dogs, Imagery, Werewolves, WolvesAware Wolf
A werewolf. A wearwolf. A warewolf. Aware wolf.
WorkHow To Get A Day Off Work
How to get time off in the public service…
Communist, Computer Games, Geeky, ImageryA Case In Communism: The Super Mario Story
A Case in Communism: The Super Mario Story.
RisquéTarzan Sex
When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex…
April Fools, Imagery, Pizza, Salad, WorkThis Is How Workplace Violence Starts
This is how workplace violence starts…
Imagery, School24 Chickens
24 Chickens: The shoe rack at the front door…
Animals, Cats, ImageryCat Bag
It’s a cat bag. Not too sure what else to say about this…
Animals, Bears, Cartoons, Imagery, PigsJackass Piglet
Hi, my name’s piglet and this is Jackass.
ImagerySteady Hand – The Results
Steady Hand – The Results (or what happens when you play Steady Hand)
Business Cards, ImageryYou Have A Nice… Business Card
A business card: “You have a nice… {day, ass, attitude}.
Imagery, RisquéJelly Orgy
A jelly orgy.
RisquéMonica
Monica walks into her dry cleaning store…
Imagery, Risqué, SexistInteresting ATM
Man using a sexually provocative ATM.
Accidents, Cars, Imagery, TrucksThe Road To Success
On the road to success, there are no shortcuts…
Imagery, Jobs, WorkThings Don’t Really Change
Interviewer: What would you consider to be your greatest weakness?
Dates, ImageryMay The 4th Be With You
If today is “May the 4th be with you” does that mean tomorrow is “revenge of the 5th?”
Explosions, Guns, ImageryTold Her Not To Brag About Her Barbie Dream House…
Told her not to brag about her barbie dream house…
Bankruptcy, Divorce, Imagery, LiquorBankruptcy, Divorce, Liquor
Bankruptcy, Divorce, Liquor.
Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryAnimals That Didn’t Expect Their Humans To Come Home So Early!
Animals that didn’t expect their humans to come home so early!
Imagery, PunsThe Highest Form Of Flattery
Plateaus: The highest form of flattery.
Babies, Children, Daycare, Imagery, Logan, RacistLogan Daycare
Logan Daycare: Just for the whole day
Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Internet Explorer, Opera, SafariIE Retarded
I hope he doesn’t say something retarded…
America, Bear Arms, Constitution, Democracy, Imagery, Second AmendmentThe Second Amendment: The Right To Bear Arms
The second amendment gives Americans the right to bear arms. I think many have taken this out of context.
Food, ImageryPeanut Delivery
Peanut Delivery…
RisquéSanta’s Stressful Christmas
Santa’s Stressful Christmas
SexistSocialize
Men socialize by insulting each other…
Food, ImageryThrowing People
A tomato’s fear.
Bsod, Clippit, Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, WindowsWindows
Windows. Still the most used operating system, and undoubtedly the most abused.
English, GrammarEnglish
Let’s face it - English is a crazy language.
Geeky, Imagery, Sexist, WomenHazardous Materials Data Sheet – Woman
Hazardous Materials Data Sheet – Woman.
Animals, Dogs, ImageryA Dog Named Stay
I bought a dog once. Named him ‘Stay’…
Imagery, Joke, Mayans, PredictionsMayan Joke Set-Up
Heh… I’ve just thought of a joke with the longest set-up ever! Cool! I’ll fetch a scribe…
America, Imagery, Nsa, Obama, Phones, SpyingObama: “Aww No! Both Of You Hang Up!”
Her: “Ok, you hang up.” Him: “No, you hang up.” Her: “Haha, no you hang up.” Obama: “Aww no! Both of you hang up!”
English, Grammar, Imagery, School, TeachersGrammar Vandal
When English teachers snap: Sorry Ma’am, but bad grammar is no excuse for vandalism.
Animals, Dogs, ImageryI Forgot How To Dog
I forgot how to dog
Ice, Imagery, MindpowerMelt Ice With My Mind
I can melt ice with my mind… just give me a few minutes…
ImageryElephant Bone
…just to confuse future archaeologists.
Banks, ImageryI Was Going To Make A Joke About A Bank, But Then I Lost Interest…
I was going to make a joke about a bank, but then I lost interest…
Comics, Dancing, Imagery, Ireland, Irish, Irish DanceThe Book Of Irish Dance: Volume Two
Whilst doing a long overdue clearout at the offices of Ireland’s oldest and most respected school of dance, Mrs O’Hara made a terrible discovery…
Cartoons, Fire, Imagery, StairsIn Case Of Fire, Take Stairs
In case of fire, take stairs.
Animals, Cats, ImageryJust Wait Until I’m Fully Charged
Just wait until I’m fully charged…
Animals, Imagery, SealsSeal The Deal
What do you say we go behind this rock and seal the deal?
Art, Geeky, ImageryNational Portrait Gallery
National Portrait Gallery. National Landscape Gallery…
Alcohol, ChemistryAlcohol Is A Solution
Not to get technical but according to chemistry alcohol is a solution.
Parties, WatchesNot On My Watch
Lost my watch at a party once…
Imagery, Topgear, TvIs There Anything Worse Than A Lego For Stepping On In The Middle Of The Night?
Is there anything worse than a Lego for stepping on in the middle of the night? A landmine.
Imagery, Posters, ScienceLost Wormhole
Do not attempt capture because you’ll totally screw with the space/time continuum bro.
Animals, Broomsticks, Cars, Frogs, Imagery, Parking, Princesses, WitchesAll Others Will Be Toad
Private customer parking only. All others will be toad.
Imagery, MenI'd Rather Break My Arms Than Take Two Trips
I'd rather break my arms than take two trips.
Animals, Imagery, WhalesPaper, Scissors, Whale!
Scissors cut paper again! I hate this game…
Fonts, Imagery, TypographyBe Bold
Be bold or italic. Never regular.
Animals, Imagery, RisquéOld Style Birth Control
Old Style Birth Control.
Animals, Horses, Imagery, SeahorsesSeahorse
I’m a seahorse. Your argument is invalid.
Imagery, SexistBefore And After...
Before and after marriage…
Australia, Imagery, Nsw, PolicePoliceman’s Ball
A young woman was pulled over for speeding. A NSW Police Officer walked to her car window flipping open his ticket book. She said “I bet you are going to try and sell me a ticket to the Policeman’s Ball.” He said, “NSW Police don’t have balls.” There was a moment of silence. Then he closed his book, tipped his hat, and got back in his patrol car and left!
Australia, History, RacistA Brief History Of Australia
Australia was founded in 1901 by Jimmy “Crocodile” Austral, a deportee of England who was banished for cannibalism, having eaten 32 members of the House of Lords. In accordance with English colonial law, this entitled him to an entire already-inhabited continent.
America, Imagery, North Korea, Obama, RacistNorth Korea: I Will Destroy America
North Korea: I will destroy America! Obama: Too late!
Animals, Chickens, Eggs, Imagery, SignsBoneless Chicken
Boneless Chicken
Exams, Imagery, Signs, University, UqIn Class Vs. In Your Exam
In class vs. in your exam.
Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, Shoes, VintageWhere She Belongs
Keep her where she belongs…
Geeky, ImageryDelete Cookies
Delete cookies?!
Geeky, ImageryVoice
Scrooge and Donald on IRC.
Imagery, Tools, Work, ZombiesIn Case Of Zombies
In case of zombies… or yard work…
Roadwork, Shovels, WorkersWe Forgot Our Shovels
A road crew foreman calls into the shop. Foreman: “We have a problem.”
Imagery, MathImaginary Friend
Aww, how cute. He has an imaginary friend!
Imagery, PiracyPiracy Is Not Theft
Imagine your car gets stolen, but it’s still there in the morning.
Religious, RisquéSisters Of St Francis
Sisters of St. Francis House of Prostitution…
Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, Sweaters, VintageMen Are Better Than Women!
Indoors, women are useful — even pleasant. On a mountain they are something of a drag. So don’t go hauling them up a cliff…
Geeky, InternetDiary Of An AOL Luser
Diary of an AOL Luser.
Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Imagery, Internet Explorer, Opera, SafariBrowsers: Their Differences
The differences between the major web browsers.
Adoption, Babies, ImageryAdopted Baby
Dude, I’m joking, you are not adopted!
Imagery, Monday, Punch, WorkThe Monday Punch
The Monday Punch: A man punched in the face.
Atoms, Imagery, SignsDo Not Trust Atoms
Do not trust atoms. They make up everything.
Guitars, Imagery, MusicFree Air Guitars
Christmas Gift Ideas: Free Air Guitars.
Animals, Animated, Giraffes, ImageryHidden Giraffe
If you stare at this picture long enough you should be able to see a giraffe…
Animals, Books, Dolphins, Imagery, LibrariesTo Punch A Dolphin In The Mouth
5 very good reasons to punch a dolphin in the mouth.
Animals, Cats, Egyptians, Hieroglyphics, ImageryAncient Egyptians: Posting Cats To Their Walls Since 3150 BC
Ancient Egyptians: Posting cats to their walls since 3150 BC
JokeExercise - Some Facts
Exercise… some facts.
Australia, Buses, Explosions, Imagery, InalaSorry For Party Rocking
Sorry for Party Rocking: Driver jumps from burning bus, party bus explodes in Inala.
Imagery, MathSeven Ate Nine
Six, Seven, Ate, Nine…
Geeky, RisquéEUNUCH Programmer's Manual - CONDOM(1)
The EUNUCH Programmer's Manual - CONDOM(1)
Aliens, ImageryFunniest Alien Fan Art I’ve Seen
Funniest Alien Fan Art I’ve Seen.
Canada, Flutes, Imagery, SignsCanada Has A Serious Epidemic
Protect yourself and others from the flute.
Farmers, Imagery, Men, Swimming, WomenThe Clever Old Man
One evening an old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond…
Boats, Imagery, IslandsBoat! Land!
Boat! Land!
Apple, Imagery, Ios, Ios6, TransportApple IOS6 Maps
For the benefit of passengers using Apple iOS6, local area maps are available from the booking office.
Australia, France, Imagery, Racist, RisquéAustralian Kiss
Australian Kiss: same as a French Kiss… but down under.
Imagery, WorkMeetings
The practical alternative to work.
Animals, Bananas, Dogs, Food, ImageryBanana Dogs
Banana Dogs.
Advertising, Guns, Imagery, Revolvers, VintageIsn’t It Time You Gave Yourself A Christmas Gift?
Isn’t it time you gave yourself a Christmas Gift?
Canada, Imagery, NoticesCanadian Security
Canadian Security: It may seem rude but for security reasons please do not open the door to strangers.
Imagery, Movies, PiratesHorny Pirate’s Worst Nightmare
What’s a horny pirate’s worst nightmare?
Bananas, Fruit, ImageryAppealing Attire
I find this attire… appeeling.
Halloween, Imagery, Pumpkins, VegetablesAngry Pumpkin Man
Angry Pumpkin Man: Come at me bro!
Imagery, ShipsA Ship Shipping Ship Shipping Shipping Ships.
A ship shipping ship shipping shipping ships.
Animals, Elephants, Imagery, Kenya, ZoosMan & Elephant
In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Louisiana State University…
Advertising, Babies, Beer, Imagery, Mothers, VintageHow Mother And Baby “Picked Up”
Blatz Beer: How Mother and Baby “Picked Up”.
America, RacistA Russian Arrives In New York
A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United States…
Animals, Flamingos, ImageryGarden Flamingo
Garden Flamingo…
Animals, Cows, Horses, ImageryThis Guy’s An Idiot! Quick, Take A Picture!
This guy’s an idiot! Quick, take a picture!
America, Animated, Imagery, Obama, PoliticalThanks, Obama
Thanks, Obama.
Australia, Imagery, Logan, RacistAll Trades Logan
All Trades Logan.
Blacks, Imagery, RacistBlacks For Sale
They can still do that?
Africa, Apple, Imagery, Ipad, StarvingThinner Than Ever
Thinner than ever.
Cooking, Imagery, Smoke DetectorsWhat Smoke Detectors Warn You About
What smoke detectors warn you about.
SexistEvening Classes For Men
Instructive evening classes for men…
Facebook, Imagery, MoneyHow To Make Money From Facebook
How to make money from facebook: 1) just go to “Account Settings”; 2) Press “Deactivate your account”; 3) Go to work.
Imagery, PhonesJack’s Phone
Why aren’t you answering…?
Animals, Cats, Imagery, LionsA Cat With A Lion’s Mane Hat
A cat with a lion’s mane hat.
Food, Geeky, ImageryLOL For Lunch
Ordering linguini for lunch always boosts morale.
Imagery, RisquéPremature Ejaculators Anonymous
Man stating he ‘came too soon’ in front of sign stating ‘premature ejaculators anonymous’.
Imagery, TurtlesA Wee Turtle
A wee turtle…
Computer Games, Computers, ImageryPlay Outside
It’s a beautiful day. I really want you to go outside and play.
Imagery, RisquéFingering A Minor
Fingering A Minor for hours on my bed.
Dear Thigh Fat
Help the needy?
Ballerinas, Imagery, WomenFreshly Washed Ballerinas
Freshly washed ballerinas.
Bones, Imagery, SkeletonsThe Average Human Body Contains Enough Bones
The average human body contains enough bones to make an entire human skeleton.
SexistEx Wife
The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my ex-wife…
Imagery, Signs, SpringSpring Is Here. I’m So Excited I Wet My Plants!
Spring is here. I’m so excited I wet my plants!
Facebook, Imagery, InternetFuture Man
So you’re saying people will “tweet” what they’re eating for breakfast?
Imagery, MotivationalSomeone Out There Cares
I want you to know that someone out there cares. Not me, but someone does.
Christmas, Christmas Lights, ImageryChristmas Lights: Ditto
Ditto to that…
Animals, Cats, ImageryCat In A Cat Box
A cat in a Cat box.
Babies, Imagery, PregnancyHow Babies Are Made
How babies are made (with an air pump).
Catholic, Priests, ReligiousThe Priest And The Hairdryer
In Catholic schools students are taught that lying is a sin. Instructors are also advised that using a bit of imagination is OK…
Alcohol, ImagerySlimming Drink
You look so much better after a glass or two!
Animals, Boobs, Bras, Cats, ImageryBooby Trap
Nooo! It’s a booby trap!
A Middle-aged Woman Decides To Have A Facelift…
A middle-aged woman decides to have a facelift…
Imagery, Political, Snowden, Spying, WikileaksEdward Snowden Buys A Plane Ticket From Moscow To Havana…
Snowden buys a plane ticket from Moscow to Havana. Over 30 journalists pay last-minute airfare for a ticket on the same flight. The doors shut, the plane takes off, and [Edward] Snowden is not on the plane. It’s a 16-hour flight.
Geeky, ItDeclaration Of A Software Professional
Declaration of a Software Professional.
Animals, Cats, Imagery, MetallicaMettalicat
Mettalicat: Sleeps with one eye open, gripping his pillow tight.
Aztecs, Imagery, Mayans, OreosMayan, Aztec And Oreos
Mayan, Aztec and Oreos…
For Sale, Imagery, Posters, PrintersPrinter For Sale
Printer For Sale. Works Terribly.
Imagery, SportHandegg
Football versus Handegg: It’s not football…
Comics, ImageryHorton Hears The Who
Horton Hears the Who
English, GrammarIf Your A Grammar Nazi
If your a grammar nazi and your reading this your gonna have a bad time.
ImageryEmoticons
Lots of emoticons…
Comments & Other Similar Social Data
Comments, Facebook Open Graph, & Other Similar Social Data.
ImageryMarketing
Marketing…
Children, Parenting, Risqué“Hi Honey. This Is Daddy. Is Mummy Near The Phone?”
Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mummy near the phone?
Stress, WorkStress Management
A stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological texts.
Charts, Computer Games, Imagery, Pacman, Pie ChartsPacman Pie Chart
The Pacman pie chart.
Helpline, Imagery, Phones, YogaYoga Emergency Hotline
Yoga Emergency Hotline, how may I help you?
Babies, Imagery, PregnancyPregnancy Tips
Some useful pregnancy tips…
Imagery, Jokes, ScrabbleScrabble Jokes
I accidentally swallowed some scrabble tiles… My next dump could spell disaster.
Alcohol, Goon, Imagery, Logan, Police, RacistLargest Goon Bust In Logan’s History
Logan police in conjunction with the A.F.P. hauled in the largest goon bust in Logan’s history. With an estimated street value of $39.
Android, Galaxy Note, Imagery, Phones, Samsung, TechnologyBattery Fully Charged. Unplug Charger.
In what is perhaps one of the more stupid “features” on my Samsung Galaxy Note, when it reaches full charge, it lights up its screen and pops up and audible alert saying “Battery fully charged. Unplug charger.” As I charge my phone at night, it is effectively an extremely annoying unwanted wake-up call.
Crocs, Imagery, Shoes, WeddingsWedding Crocs
Wedding Crocs.
Imagery, Paper, Plants, TreesIrony: Drawing Trees On Paper
Irony: Drawing trees on paper.
Computers, Geeky, ImageryWhenever I Have To Force Shutdown
Whenever I have to force shutdown.
Animals, Boobs, Imagery, SlothsLook At This Boob
Look at this boob. This is a nice boob.
Animals, Cats, Dogs, JokeWoof
How do you get a cat to bark like a dog?
Risqué, SexistThe Perfect Password
A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, the computer advised him that he would now need to enter a password…
Computers, Geeky, ItComputer Quotes
Computer quotes.
Cars, ImageryPolished My Car Too Much
Polished my car too much, now it’s invisible…
RisquéTemptation
Temptation, by a soon to be married man.
Duct Tape, Imagery, WorkEmergency Bridge Repair Team
Duct Tape: Good for anything.
Imagery, Music, Rap, Rock, SignsRap Loses To Rock
Rap is like scissors, it always loses to rock.
Foot Smart
See if you can outsmart your foot…
RacistFerrari Sack Pit Crew
The Ferrari Formula 1 Team fired their entire pit crew yesterday…
Earth, Imagery, Risqué, Solar SystemDon’t Masturbate
Don’t Masturbate!
Imagery, PoliceA Cop Just Pulled Me Over And Said “Papers”
A cop just pulled me over and said “Papers”… so I said “Scissors, I win” and drove off…
News Headlines
Amusing news headlines
Imagery, Logan, Racist, RisquéIn Logan
Meanwhile… in Logan…
Animals, Golf, Imagery, Sport, TurtlesWorld’s Largest Golf Ball
World’s largest golf ball. Gigantic turtle for scale.
Imagery, RisquéDangers Of Masturbation
The Dangers of Masturbation.
Australia, Democracy, Political, RacistThe Ant And The Grasshopper
The Original Story of the Ant and the Grasshopper.
Beer, Imagery, RacistHow People From Around The World Open Beer
People from around the world opening beer in their own unique ways.
Advertising, Cooking, Imagery, Sexist, VintageCook – That’s What Wives Are For!
The Chef does everything but cook – that’s what wives are for!
Imagery, ToiletsPeeing: Expert Mode
Peeing: Expert Mode
Breakfast, ImageryHow Did You Get In My House?
If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple “Thank you” is all I need. Not all this “How did you get in my house?” business.
Imagery, TeaMr. Tea
Mr. Tea the teapot.
Imagery, LegoWhat Lego Does When We Aren’t Looking
What legos do when we aren’t looking
Bananas, Food, Imagery, PhonesBanana Phone
It’s a banana phone…
Alcohol, Animated, Fire, Imagery, Racist, Russia, SneezingIn Russia People Sneeze Fire
In Russia people sneeze fire after drinking lots of vodka.
Food, ImageryWurst Nightmare
Hi. I’m your wurst nightmare.
Animals, Birds, Imagery, Owls, RegretsRegrets
I stay up late every night, and realise it’s a bad idea every morning.
Animals, Dogs, ImageryI See What You Did There
I see what you did there… also, over here…
Computers, ImageryInsert Disk Two
Please insert disk two.
ImageryAwkward Moment
The awkward when you already said “moment” in your head before you read it.
Archaeology, Canada, Cars, Imagery, SnowCanadian Archaeology
Canadian Archaeology: Digging a car out from under the snow
Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, Sauron, Traffic LightsKneel, Says The Demon Light
Stop says the red light, go says the green. Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between. Kneel, says the demon light, with its eye of coal. Sauron knows your licence plate, and stares into your soul.
Animated, Flash, Geeky, ImageryL33t H4x0r R0m30 4nd Jul13t
Tales for the L33T - ROMEO+JULIET
Highway Patrol, Police, Speeding, WorkcoverSweet Justice
Workcover versus the police…
Imagery, SexistHusband Glasses
I’m returning these glasses I bought for my husband. He’s still not seeing things my way.
SexistPerfect Riddle
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met…
Bananas, Food, Hats, ImageryBanana Hat
Banana hat…
Bsod, Geeky, Microsoft, WindowsBSOD: Blue Screen Of Death
The dreaded blue screen of death…
JokesToday Is Sunday
Attention! Today is Sunday. Share this on your Facebook wall. Within seven days you’ll get another Sunday…
Imagery, Memory, Protests, RalliesBetter Memory
What do we want? Better memory! When do we want it? Want what?
GeekyQ209354 - HOWTO
How to RTFM…
Food, Imagery, RisquéCarrot Love
When carrots get kinky…
Food, ImageryLittle Green Balls Of Death
Little Green Balls of Death
Daughters, Families, Imagery, MothersMum, What’s It Like To Have The Greatest Daughter In The World?
Mum, what’s it like to have the greatest daughter in the world? I don’t know dear… you’ll have to ask grandma.
English, Grammar, QuotationsAmusing Quotes & One-Liners
Amusing Quotes & One-Liners.
ImageryBefore Tweeting
In case of fire: Exit building before tweeting about it.
Animals, Imagery, RaccoonsGet Well Soon
A raccoon lies dead on the road, holding a “get well soon” balloon.
Cars, Computer Games, Geeky, ImageryGamers: The Mentality
Objects in mirror are losing.
Computers, GeekyOperating System Airlines
Operating System Airlines.
Geeky, JokesIP Jokes
I’d tell you a UDP joke, but you may not get it.
Fish, ImageryThe Swordfish
The swordfish has few predators to worry about in the wild, except for the seldom seen penfish which is said to be even mightier.
Geology, Imagery, SchoolGeology
Name the three types of rock.
Bmw, Cars, Imagery, WorkBrand New BMW
The owner of the company where I work pulled up in his brand new BMW this morning…
Imagery, Michael Jackson, Performers, SingersMichael Jackson Is Dead
You Can Come Out Now…
Air Force, Fighter Jets, Imagery, Jets, NavyWrong Button
Fighter jet hits the wrong button.
America, Guns, RacistWhat Do You Call A Gun Enthusiast?
You may have heard on the news about a Southern California man who was put under 72-hour psychiatric observation when it was found he owned 100 guns and allegedly had 100,000 rounds of ammunition stored in his home…
Imagery, Musicians, Rolling Stones, ZombiesZombies!
Zombies! Oh, wait… false alarm, it’s just the Rolling Stones… carry on!
RisquéThe Hypnotist
It was entertainment night at the senior centre and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill…
Alcohol, Beer, Fitness, ImageryI Wonder What I Would Look Like With A Six Pack?
I wonder what I would look like with a six pack? Ahh, much better!
Animals, Imagery, SharksMisunderstood Sharks
Misunderstood Sharks.
Australia, Games, Imagery, ReligiousThanks God
God and the Rubiks Cube…
Geeky, History, Internet, ItHow The Internet Started: A History Lesson
How the Internet Started: A History Lesson.
Imagery, Phones, Risqué, SexPhone Sex
Phone Sex. You’re doing it wrong.
Cars, Gardens, ImageryMajor Tom’s Ground Control
Major Tom’s Ground Control Lawn and Garden Management.
Australia, Iraq, PoliticalThe Australian Constitution: For Iraq
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq…
Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, Lotr, PizzaBrace Yourself. Pizza Is Coming.
Brace Yourself. Pizza is coming.
Browsers, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, WindowsFirefox Has Encountered…
…an unexpected problem with Windows.
GeekyHow Many Does It Take...
How many forum posters does it take to change a light bulb?
ImageryCharlie Sheen For Halloween
No, you can’t be Charlie Sheen for Halloween.
Cars, Dumbledore, Harry Potter, Imagery, PetrolExpecto Petroleum!
Expecto Petroleum!
Cold, Flu, Illness, Imagery, Man Flu, SexistMan Flu
The difference between men & women when they are sick.
Geeky, Imagery, Movies, The MatrixThe Matrix
What is The Matrix?
Geeky, JokesIntellectual Jokes
Believing this statement will make you happier.
Dogs, ImageryMy Dog Bailey Tried To Steal Stuff Out Of My Daughter’s Purse.
My dog Bailey tried to steal stuff out of my daughter’s purse. He got stuck and came over to me for help.
Boobs, SexistTen Things Men Know About Women
Ten things men know about women…
Aeroplanes, Buses, Cars, Electricity, Firefighters, Imagery, VaccinesRe-Think Vaccines
Next time someone tells you to re-think vaccines, show them this.
Imagery, MoviesNeville
Neville would have done it in four books.
Imagery, NinjasNinja Exit
Ninja Exit Only
Driving, Sexist, WomenDamn Women Drivers
This morning on the freeway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Cadillac doing 110…
Animals, Giraffes, ImageryLet’s Get You Home Buddy
Two giraffe having problems getting home.
Imagery, RisquéHebrew Cave Paintings
Written across the wall of the cave were the following symbols…
Comedians, Comedy, Grammar, Hitler, Imagery, JapanOne Thing Led To Another
I hate when you’re reading something and you come across the phrase “one thing led to another”
Bathrooms, Imagery, SignsYou Look Fine
Instead of a mirror, a sign “you look fine”.
Africa, Animals, Cars, Elephants, ImageryYou Know You Are Having A Bad Day When…
You know you are having a bad day when…
Imagery, SignsDon’t Grow Up
Don’t grow up. It’s a trap.
Anatidaephobia, Animals, Ducks, ImageryAnatidaephobia
Anatidaephobia is the fear that somewhere in the world, there is a duck watching you.
Chat, Imagery, InternetChat Rooms
Chat Rooms – you never really know.
Animals, Birds, Chickens, Imagery, Rock And RollChook Heavy Metal Guitarist
A heavy metal guitarist chicken
Animals, Imagery, SharksShark! What?
Shark! What?
Animals, Bunnies, Chocolate, Easter, Food, Imagery, RabbitsEaster Bunnies
Chocolate Easter Bunnies: My butt hurts! What?
GeekyHuman Hotfix
Hotfix Patch for Humans released.
Imagery, SexistHair Dryer
Darling, please give me the hair dryer…
Funerals, Imagery, Italian, RacistThe Italian Funeral
Pasquale died. His will provided ,000 for an elaborate funeral…
Germany, LoveTell Someone You Love Them Today
Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying and confusing.
Angry Birds, Animals, Australia, Birds, Computer Games, ImageryAngry Birds Australia
Angry Birds Australia…
Imagery, StoneNothing Is Written In Stone
Nothing is Written in Stone…
Buildings, Jokes, Physicists, PunsA Physicist Sees A Young Man About To Jump Off The Empire State Building
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building…
Animals, Australia, Birds, Dingoes, Dolphins, Fish, Galahs, Imagery, Kangaroos, Koalas, Kookaburras, Parrots, Penguins, Snakes, Toads, TurtlesAccurate Animal Names: Australian Edition
Accurate Animal Names: Australian Edition
Animals, Elephants, Imagery, RisquéElephant Upskirt
Elephant Upskirt.
Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, PhonesIPhone 6 Comparison
iPhone 6 Plus Comparison.
Imagery, R2-d2, Star Wars, TvThe Most Vulgar Character Of All Time
R2D2: They beeped out every single word he said
Apple, Boobs, Fashion, Imagery, Ios, Risqué, ShirtsSlide To Unlock
A woman wearing a shirt: Slide to Unlock.
Beer, SexistA Beer Before It Starts
A man came home from work, sat down in his favourite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, “Quick, bring me a beer before it starts”…
Animals, Birds, Chickens, Imagery, MarriageMarriage: Before & After (Chicken Style)
Marriage: Before & After (Chicken Style).
Aboriginal, Australia, Imagery, Racist, The RockStolen Generator
So I heard about the stolen generation…
Advertising, Imagery, Skype, VintageSkype
Vintage Skype advert.
Animals, Animated, Dogs, Imagery, TonguesDog Tongue
A dog with a very long tongue.
Money, Quotations, SchwarzeneggerHaving More Money Doesn’t Make You Happier
Having more money doesn’t make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I’m just as happy as when I had 48 million.
ImageryThe Ego Boost Urinal
The Ego Boost Urinal.
Acrobats, Books, ImageryAcrobat Reader
An acrobat reader…
Afghanistan, RacistInvestment Opportunity
Investment Opportunity. Thought you might want to consider getting on board early.
Cars, ImagerySideways Car
It’s a little confusing…
Jokes, Pool, Puns, Sport, TreesWhat’s Green, Fuzzy, And If It Fell Out Of A Tree It Would Kill You?
What’s green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?
Credit Cards, Genies, Imagery, Sexist, WomenIrresistible To Women
Make me irresistible to women
Dyslexia, Imagery, Sex, Shirts, TshirtsI Have Sex Daily
I have sex daily! I mean dyslexia! Fcuk.
Cling-wrap, Imagery, WorkCling-wrap Fun
Cling-wrap fun.
Australia, Cars, Floods, Imagery, MechanicalDunno Mate, Maybe She’s Flooded?
Dunno mate, maybe she’s flooded?
Imagery, UniversityUniversity Website
Things on the front page of a university website.
Animals, Imagery, SlugsFeeling Sluggish
I’ve been feeling a bit sluggish…
Animals, Imagery, SpidersLet’s All Take A Moment And Be Thankful That Spiders Don’t Fly.
Let’s all take a moment and be thankful that spiders don’t fly!
Animals, Dogs, ImageryFridge Magnets
Well, tell me, Randy. Has someone eaten all the refrigerator magnets again?
Animals, Cats, ImageryDid You Try Jumping Off The Refrigerator Too?
Did you try jumping off the refrigerator too?
ImageryApostrophe, Catastrophe
Apostrophe, Catastrophe.
Imagery, SexistEscape From The Kitchen
You thought you could escape from the kitchen didn’t you?
Batman, Imagery, Iphone, Phones, SmsI’m Batman
SMS conversation between Tim and Batman.
Animals, Dogs, Imagery, SpidersSpider Dog
Spider Dog…
Cars, Imagery, Roads, SignsTired? Powernap Now.
Tired? Powernap now.
Hippies, Imagery, ShirtsPassive Agressive Hippie
Passive Agressive Hippie: You want a [peace sign] of me?
Homework, Imagery, SchoolSelf Referencing Homework
What has been your greatest accomplishment so far?
Imagery, TattoosFree Tattoo Removal
Free (and perhaps painful) tattoo removal.
Grammar, SpellingYou Read That Wrong
That awkward moment when you read that wrong…
Imagery, Math, PiWife Of Pi
He’s irrational and he goes on and on…
Perfect Existence
Perfect Existence: The Proof
Animals, Halloween, Imagery, SquirrelsHalloween Squirrel
A squirrel got its head stuck in a Halloween decoration and terrified a neighbourhood…
Advertising, Boats, Imagery, Oceans, Oxi-clean, ShipsThe Power Of Oxi-Clean
The Power of Oxi-Clean.
Elderly, MemoryElderly Memories
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen…
Cars, Imagery, Logan, My Family Stickers, Racist, StickersLogan My Family Stickers
Logan My Family Stickers.
Computers, ImageryChecking On A Slow Progress Bar
Checking on a slow progress bar.
Imagery, Phones, SmsStreet Name
Hey, what’s your street name?
Animals, Imagery, Lightbulbs, Mice, Risqué, SexHow Many Mice Does It Take To Screw In A Lightbulb?
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Alcohol, Cooking, Imagery, WineCooking With Wine
I tried cooking supper with wine tonight. Didn’t go so well. After 5 glasses I forgot why I was even in the kitchen.
Diving, Imagery, Sharks, Sign LanguageA Signal They Forgot To Teach You In Your Open Water Class.
Big shark behind you: A signal they forgot to teach you in your open water class.
The Fellowship Of The Ring
The Fellowship of the Ring.
Notice
Notice is hereby given…
ImageryFight Apathy
…or don’t.
Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryDear Dog
Dear Dog… a letter from the cat.
Facebook, InternetFacebook Farm
A dying granny tells her granddaughter, “I want to leave you my farm…
Imagery, SexistIron Man Competition
Ironman Competition - the way it should be…
Imagery, Risqué, Tape Measures, ToolsBreakdown Of A Man’s Tape Measure Usage
Breakdown of a man’s tape measure usage
Flying, Imagery, SportFlying – Because Golf Only Takes One Ball
Flying – because softball, baseball, football, basketball, soccer, bowling and golf only take one ball.
France, Germany, Imagery, RacistAngela Merkel Arrives At Passport Control At Paris Airport…
Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control at Paris airport. “Nationality?” asks the immigration officer. “German,” she replies. “Occupation?” “No, just here for a few days.”
Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, PhonesIPhone 6 Repair Kit
iPhone 6 repair kit.
Imagery, Risqué, SupermanSuper Boner
Super-boner: A super problem.
Animals, Bears, Guns, ImageryWhat Is The Smallest Calibre You Trust To Protect Yourself?
I remember one time while hiking with my girlfriend in northern Alberta and out of nowhere came this huge brown bear charging us, and was she mad!
Evolution, Imagery, ZombiesZombie Evolution
The evolution of Zombies
Animals, Computer Games, Games, Imagery, PhonesAngry Birds
Angry Birds attend Anger Management.
Cars, Imagery, Italy, Racist, Risqué25 Year Old Escort
But Mr. Berlusconi, you said, “Send a 25 years old escort to my villa!”
Alcohol, Animals, Dogs, Imagery, Skateboards, Smoking, WineBad Dog Is Banned From The Park
I don’t know who this dog is or why he is banned from this park, but he certainly seems like a lot of fun.
Food, Imagery, PizzaI Just Burned 1500 Calories In About Five Minutes
I just burned 1500 calories in about five minutes. I forgot the pizza was in the oven.
Fruit, Grapes, ImageryBeware The Grapes Of Wrath
Beware the Grapes of Wrath.
Imagery, Real EstateLaminated Room
List of reasons why a room would have to contain a bucket and be almost entirely laminated: 1) Bad reasons.
ImageryCockroach Cancer
Please, don’t throw your cigarette butts on the floor…
JokesComplimentary Pretzels
A guy walks into a bar and takes a seat. Before he can order a beer, the bowl of pretzels in front of him says “Hey, you’re a handsome fellow.”
SexistGuts Or Balls?
We’ve all heard about men having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them?
Asian, Imagery, Iphone, Racist, RiceIf Your Phone Gets Wet, Try Placing It In A Bag Of Rice
If your phone gets wet, try placing it in a bag of rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you.
Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, VintageHappier With A Hoover
Christmas morning she’ll be happier with a Hoover.
Imagery, Internet, SwordsSwords Of The Centuries
Swords of the Centuries
Drugs, Imagery, Marijuana, SexistI Tried Pot Once. Now I’m Gay!
I tried pot once. Now I’m gay!
Animals, DogsTalking Dog For Sale
A man sees a sign outside a house – “Talking Dog for Sale.”
Cables, Cables, Geeky, Imagery, UsbCables Exist In 4-dimensional Space
Proof USB cables exist in 4-dimensional space.
Animals, JokePygmy Dinosaur Hunter
The Pygmy Dinosaur Hunter…
Apple, Computers, Imagery, Phones, Religious, Steve JobsI Have An APP For That!
Steve Jobs, 1955 – 2011.
Artists, Justin Bieber, MusiciansDear Justin Bieber Haters
I owe my life to Justin Bieber…
Animated, Imagery, MedicalRoot Canal
Amusing animated image of root canal treatment
Children, Cleaning, Imagery, MopsStupid Child Efficiency Mop
Stupid Child Efficiency Mop. Wipe high-efficiently.
Evolution, Imagery, SexistThe Evolution Of Man And Woman
The Evolution of Man & Woman…
Cars, PoliceSpeed Camera
Speed camera revenge…
Imagery, RedneckRedneck Ingenuity
Redneck Ingenuity: Shoes for tyres.
ImageryWill Not Load Fully
This picture will not load fully!
WorkMergers
Amusing mergers.
Imagery, Jokes, Paper, Puns, SignsTearable Puns
These are tearable puns.
Africa, Imagery, RacistEvery 60 Seconds In Africa
Every 60 seconds in Africa… a minute passes.
Animals, Imagery, SharksFlying Sharks
Flying sharks… we’re screwed.
ImageryI’m So Sick Of Not Being Understood!
I’m so sick of not being understood! What do you mean?
Facebook, ImageryBe The First Of Your Friends To Like This Post.
A post with a poster on it, “Be the first of your friends to like this post”.
Evolution, ImageryEvolution: Stop Following Me!
The typical “evolution of man” poster, except the man is facing his “earlier ancestors” saying “Stop following me!”
Drugs, Homophobia, Imagery, Marijuana, MedicalMedical Marijuana
What disease is your medical marijuana relieving?
Jokes, Punography, PunsPunography
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me…
Advertising, Apple, Computers, Geeky, Imagery, MacMac Weed
A take-off of the Apple Macintosh switch ads.
America, Calendars, Imagery, Mayans, Obama, Political, PredictionsThe Mystery Of The Mayan Calendar Revealed
At last, the mystery of the Mayan calendar revealed.
Jokes, RisquéWhere Is Amanda’s Husband?
Amanda is 21 years older than her son John. In 6 years from now, Amanda will be 5 times as old as John…
Angels, Imagery, Red Bull, SculpturesRed Bull Gives You Wings
Red Bull Gives You Wings.
Africa, Bus, ImageryDo You Ever Get So Angry…
Do you ever get so angry… you throw a VCR at a burning bus?
Advertising, Imagery, Motorola, Tv, VintageTelevision Benefits Your Children
How television benefits your children.
ImageryProof That Not Knowing Everything Is The Best Way To Go
Proof that not knowing everything is the best way to go.
Imagery, Notices, Paper, SignsPaper Says Yes
Would you like a little piece of paper that says yes to hang onto during the tough times ahead? (Maybe it will help)
Imagery, Phones, Sms, SmsLost Phone
A man sends SMS from a lost phone…
Cartoons, Comics, Imagery, MoviesThe Bat Cave
The location of our Bat Cave is meant to be secret, so stop checking in!
Bananas, Chris Brown, Food, Imagery, RihannaChris Brown & Rihanna Bananas
I can’t believe she didn’t press charges. It got worse when he posted the unpeeled photos of her.
America, Britain, Political, Queen Elizabeth Ii, Queens, Racist, RoyaltyA MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN
A message to the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.
Computer Games, Geeky, ImageryReality
Worst game ever.
Redheads, SexistRedheads
How do you get a redhead…
Advertising, Billboards, ImageryThere Are Two Rules For Success
There are two rules for success: Never reveal everything you know…
Bikes, ImagerySquare Bike
Surprisingly good riding down stairs… not so good on the flat.
Imagery, Ipad, IphoneFree IPhone To IPad Upgrade
Free iPhone to iPad Upgrade
Animals, Cats, Imagery, KittensNo Sitz
I be here!
Animals, Imagery, OctopusesDrunk Octopus Wants To Fight
Drunk Octopus Wants to Fight…
Dalai Lama, Daleks, Dr Who, Imagery, Reincarnation, TvDalek Lama
Reincarnate! Reincarnate!
Education, Imagery, School, TeachersExplain These Bad Grades
1969: A child’s parents blame him for his bad grades. Today: A child’s parents blame his teacher for his bad grades.
ImageryLow Battery Warning
Plug in or find another power source. Or panic now!
Animals, Imagery, OttersOtter Nonsense
I’ve had it up to here with your otter nonsense…
Animals, Birds, Imagery, Mirrors, ParrotsTap That
I’d tap that!
Apple, Computers, Geeky, Linux, Mac, WindowsHow To Fix Any Computer
A comprehensive guide to fixing any computer.
Epilepsy, Imagery, PostersSeize The Day
Seize The Day: Sign up for the Epilepsy Awareness Walk.
Birds, Imagery, RavensWhere Have You Been All Weekend?
Where have you been all weekend? Out Raven.
Imagery, SexistHow Could You Be So Insensitive?
How Could You Be So Insensitive? This is what it looks like from the other person’s perspective.
Birds, Imagery, WifiHe’s Got Wifi
Three birds sitting on a wire, a fourth sitting in mid air. He's got wifi.
Imagery, Paper, SignsIs It Me You’re Looking For?
Hello? Is it me you’re looking for?
Doctors, HospitalsFinding Information In Hospital
A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph’s Hospital…
Apple, Imagery, Iphone, PhonesUpgrade Kit For IPhone 4 Owners
Upgrade kit for iPhone 4 owners. Only 99¢.
Out Of Breath
Dispatcher: Emergency Services, how may I help you?
Animals, Imagery, TurtlesYou’ll Never Be As Happy As This Turtle
You’ll never be as happy as this turtle.
Guns, Imagery, Mp3, Mp4, Mp5Well, That Escalated Quickly
Well, that escalated quickly.
Calendars, Comics, Imagery, MayansThe Mayan Calendar
I only had enough room to go up to 2012…
Accidents, Buses, Cars, Imagery, InsuranceDon’t You Suggest To Me What To Do
If you don’t have GIO Third Party Property Insurance, we suggest you don’t hit this bus.
Imagery, MilkLying About Skim Milk
There’s only one thing I hate more than lying. Skim milk, which is water that’s lying about being milk.
Imagery, Risqué, SexistGrow Some Balls
Why do people say ‘grow some balls’?
Alphabet, Doctors, ImageryThe Medical Alphabet
The Medical Alphabet
Geeky, Imagery, TechnologyBack-Up
Image of man backing-up with computer.
Cars, ImageryAbove The Law Like A Boss
Above the law like a boss: removing a wheel clamp.
Animals, RisquéDoctor Bob Had Sex With One Of His Patients…
Doctor Bob had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long…
Alligators, Animals, Crocodiles, Imagery, TurtlesTurtle Cavalry
Onward, alligator steed!
GeekyIf Dr Seuss Was A Technical Writer
If Dr Seuss Was A Technical Writer.
Australia, PoliticalCostello’s Reward For Being Loyal
Costello’s reward for being loyal…
Advertising, Cigarettes, Imagery, Risqué, Sexist, VintageBlow In Her Face
Blow in her face and she'll follow you anywhere.
Boats, Fishing, Imagery, Logan, RacistFishing, Logan Style
Fishing, Logan Style.
Imagery, Newspapers, TechnologyAll This Technology Is Making Us Antisocial
All this technology is making us antisocial: A tram full of people ignoring each other and reading the newspaper.
Imagery, SmsBack From The Dead
Woo, it’s me! Back from the dead!
Imagery, RisquéDon’t Fall For This
The CIA is trying to steal my…
Blonde, Cars, SexistBlondeStar
What to do when you’re locked inside your car, and the keys are outside…
America, France, Ireland, Irish, Racist, RisquéThe Penis Study
The American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man’s penis was larger than the shaft…
Imagery, Phones, SmsChosen One
I’m the chosen one…
Imagery, Iphone, Phones, Romance, SmsThe Modern Day Romantic
Goodnight my beautiful girl I’m so lucky to have you in my life. I love you so much <3
Campbell Newman, Imagery, Political, QueenslandCampbell Newman: Public Service: You Can Trust Me
[Campbell Newman laughing] …and then I said to the public service… you can trust me…
Animals, Dogs, Drugs, Imagery, MethMeth Lab Dog
Yellow Lab, Black Lab, Chocolate Lab, Meth Lab!
Animals, JokeThe Dead Rabbit
The Dead Rabbit, aka The Worst Joke Ever…
Animals, Cats, ImageryPlease Don’t Let The Cat Out. No Matter What It Tells You!
Please don’t let the cat out. No matter what it tells you!
Crime, Police, ShootingThe Floor Is Still Wet
I have an interesting case here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped…
Babies, Imagery, Kanye West, Kim Kardashian, Phones, Sms, Taylor Swift, TwitterYo I’m Happy For You And Imma Let You Finish But…
[Twitter] Taylor Swift: @KimKardashian @kanyewest Yo I’m happy for you and imma let you finish but Beyonce had one of the best labours of all time.
Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Pie ChartsTime Breakdown Of Modern Web Design
The breakdown of modern web design.
Imagery, Risqué, SignsPlease Use Finger
Pen is broken - please use finger.
Animals, Cows, ImageryA Cow Getting A Back Scratch
A cow getting a back scratch.
Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, Microsoft OfficeMicrosoft Office Suite Pass Key
Does anyone have an extra Microsoft Office suite pass key?
Apple, Imagery, Ios, Ios7, Iphone, Mobiles, PhonesThe New IPhone 5C With IOS 7
The new iPhone 5C with IOS 7.
Computers, Geeky, ItStar Trek TNG Meets Microsoft
Star Trek TNG Meets Microsoft…
Political, SchoolMath Instruction
At Heathrow Airport today…
English, ImageryLike If You Can Raed Tihs
Like if you can raed tihs whit no porlqebm baecuas yuor jsut taht sarmt.
Crocs, Friday The 13th, Imagery, Jason Voorhees, Movies, ShoesJason Voorhees Gets Crocs
Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th) gets Crocs.
Bread, Food, Imagery, TonguesPlease Use Tongue.
Do not touch bread with hands. Please use tongue.
ReligiousThe Pope Is Busted
After getting all of Pope John Paul’s luggage loaded into the limo…
ImagerySpring Is Just Around The Corner
Finally… Spring is just around the corner.
Elderly, Hearing Aids, ImageryExpensive Hearing Aid
A man was telling his neighbour, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.”
Mayans, PredictionsMayans Predicting The Future
Calm down… If the Mayans were good at predicting the future, there would still be Mayans.
Imagery, RisquéSave Paper
Save paper…