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Ned Martin’s Amused Pages

Blacks, Imagery, RacistBlacks For Sale
They can still do that?
Imagery, Police, ProtestsPolice & Protesters Help Fat Man Remove Pants
Police & Protesters help fat man remove pants…
Bmw, Cars, Imagery, WorkBrand New BMW
The owner of the company where I work pulled up in his brand new BMW this morning…
Facebook, Imagery, InternetFuture Man
So you’re saying people will “tweet” what they’re eating for breakfast?
Imagery, ToiletsPeeing: Expert Mode
Peeing: Expert Mode
Imagery, ShopsBall-type Deodorant
Her: Is it the ball-type deodorant you want sir? Him: Oh no miss – it’s for under my arms!
Boats, Imagery, IslandsBoat! Land!
Boat! Land!
How To Make Sure You’re A Normal Person
A quick and easy test to determine if you are a normal person…
ImageryTimes Have Changed
An image from an operating manual for the SAGE air defense system
Idiots
Idiots everywhere…
Bikinis, Burqa, Imagery, Muslim, Racist, SexistWhat A Cruel Male-dominated Culture
It’s a male dominated culture, no matter how you look at it…
Animals, Drugs, ImageryFlying Ants
How ants began to fly…
Flowcharts, Imagery, SexistHow To Argue With A Woman
A flowchart.
Animals, RisquéThe Lone Ranger
The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an Indian war party…
Foot Smart
See if you can outsmart your foot…
Animals, Cars, Cows, Drunk, ImageryDrunk Cows
Drunk Cows: Bruce you are drunk.
Imagery, RocksOrders From A Rock
[On a rock] Turn me over. You just took orders from a rock.
Canada, Etiquette, ImageryHolding Doors
Holding Doors: A Question of Distance.
ImageryButtons
Lots of buttons…
ImageryHard To Pay Fine
Touching wires causes instant death…
Animals, Bread, Dogs, Food, ImageryBread Dog
The Amazing Bread Dog.
Army, WarAmerican Nun
A deserter GI was running down a road escaping from two MPs…
ImageryBefore Tweeting
In case of fire: Exit building before tweeting about it.
Advertising, Imagery, Skype, VintageSkype
Vintage Skype advert.
Actors, Famous People, Imagery, Movie Stars, Robert De NiroRobert De Niro, De Faro
First Robert De Niro, then Robert De Faro.
Joke, RisquéJam And Butter The Muddy Plasters, The Dirty Bucket Of Pitch!
Jam and butter the muddy plasters, the dirty bucket of pitch!
Canada, Imagery, NoticesCanadian Security
Canadian Security: It may seem rude but for security reasons please do not open the door to strangers.
Camping, Grammar, Imagery, TentsYou Can’t Run Through A Campground
You can’t run through a campground. You can only ran, because it’s past tents.
Animals, Imagery, Johnny Depp, Movie Stars, SpidersI’m Really Afraid Of Johnny Depp
Research shows that if you’re afraid of spiders, you’re more likely to find one in your bedroom. I’m really afraid of Johnny Depp.
Blonde, SexistA Young Brunette Goes To The Doctor...
A young brunette goes to the doctor…
Apple, Boobs, Fashion, Imagery, Ios, Risqué, ShirtsSlide To Unlock
A woman wearing a shirt: Slide to Unlock.
Animals, Elephants, Imagery, Kenya, ZoosMan & Elephant
In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Louisiana State University…
Imagery, Step Ladders, ToolsStep Ladder
The Troubles of Being a Step Ladder…
Animals, Circuses, Dwarfs, Hippopotamuses, ImageryHippo Eats Dwarf
A hippopotamus has swallowed a dwarf in a circus accident…
Animals, Birds, Chickens, Imagery, MarriageMarriage: Before & After (Chicken Style)
Marriage: Before & After (Chicken Style).
Drugs, Homophobia, Imagery, Marijuana, MedicalMedical Marijuana
What disease is your medical marijuana relieving?
Cartoons, Food, ImageryChocolate Pudding
It’s four o’clock in the morning. Why on earth are you making chocolate pudding?
Comics, Education, ImageryUnused Diploma.
I’d like to return this. It’s unused. This is your diploma. Cash is fine.
Bras, Imagery, New Zealand, Racist, Risqué, SportThe All Blacks Bra
Introducing the New Zealand All Blacks Bra. All the support, but no cup.
Children, Parenting, Risqué“Hi Honey. This Is Daddy. Is Mummy Near The Phone?”
Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mummy near the phone?
Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Internet ExplorerWhat Are We? Browsers!
What are we? Browsers! What do we want? More speed! And when do we want it? Right now!
Bsod, Clippit, Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, WindowsWindows
Windows. Still the most used operating system, and undoubtedly the most abused.
Boats, Books, Fishing, Reading, Sexist, WomenNever Argue With A Woman
Never Argue with a Woman…
Asian, Imagery, Iphone, Racist, RiceIf Your Phone Gets Wet, Try Placing It In A Bag Of Rice
If your phone gets wet, try placing it in a bag of rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you.
ImageryMissed You...
Image of a soldier pointing a gun towards the camera with caption “When you first left, I missed you badly… I WONT THIS TIME”
Advertising, Feminine Hygiene, Imagery, Risqué, Sexist, Tampons, VintageThe Girls Are Talking About Tampons
The Blonde: It’s invisible sanitary protection, thank heavens…
Aztecs, Imagery, Mayans, OreosMayan, Aztec And Oreos
Mayan, Aztec and Oreos…
Babies, ImageryWomb Service
Hello, Womb Service? I’d like a double order of hot wings…
Feminists, Imagery, Lightbulbs, Sexist, WomenHow Many Feminists Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Don’t be silly, feminists can’t change anything!
Geeky, InternetGoogle
Try Google. Available in six of the world’s most common languages…
Diets, Food, Paleolithic DietPaleolithic Diet
Something’s just not right—our air is clean, our water is pure, we all get plenty of exercise, everything we eat is organit and free-range, and yet nobody lives past thirty.
Imagery, Odin, PoliticalVote Odin
The left wing said they’d abolish poverty; right wing said they’d abolish bureaucracy. Odin said he’d abolish ice giants. Where are the ice giants? Vote Odin!
Drugs, ImageryToo High
Quick! Grab my hand! I… I can’t! You’re too high! What?
ImageryWill Not Load Fully
This picture will not load fully!
Girls, Imagery, WorkForgot I Was Sharing My Screen With Her
I was on an online conference call with a cute sounding girl, and googled her name out of curiosity. Forgot I was sharing my screen with her.
Animals, Beaches, Imagery, Signs, Stingrays, WarningsShuffle Your Feet For Stingrays
Shuffle your feet for Stingrays: One of the many dangers in Australian waters.
Evolution, Imagery, SexistThe Evolution Of Man And Woman
The Evolution of Man & Woman…
Flash, ImageryVision Test
Vision Test.
Food, Imagery, ThymeToo Much Thyme On My Hands
I’ve got way too much tyme on my hands.
Imagery, SexistWoman With PMS
Woman with PMS.
Animals, Imagery, ZebrasI Love You Zebra
Bite marks are love notes written in flesh. I love you zebra.
Australia, Chillis, Food, Racist, TexasAn Australian Chilli Tester In Texas…
An Australian chilli tester in Texas…
English, GrammarIf Your A Grammar Nazi
If your a grammar nazi and your reading this your gonna have a bad time.
Australia, Games, Imagery, Logan, Monopoly, RacistLogan Monopoly
Logan Monopoly…
Imagery, LegoWhat Lego Does When We Aren’t Looking
What legos do when we aren’t looking
Art, Imagery, Michelangelo, Paintings, Reenactment, Sistine ChapelMichelangelo: The Re-enactment
A re-enactment of Michelangelo’s famous “The Creation of Adam”.
Guns, ImageryThe Last Known Picture Taken Of Grandpa
A woman inadvertently points a gun towards a man.
Animals, Imagery, SharksSharks Are A Lot Friendlier Without Pointy Teeth
Sharks are a lot friendlier without pointy teeth.
Imagery, SmsBack From The Dead
Woo, it’s me! Back from the dead!
Beds, Hotels, Imagery, Phones, SheetsAlways Leave Your Hotel Room Like This
Always leave your hotel room like this
Bras, Imagery, UnderwearSupport Bras
Supportive support bras…
Animals, DogsTalking Dog For Sale
A man sees a sign outside a house – “Talking Dog for Sale.”
Babies, Imagery, Kanye West, Kim Kardashian, Phones, Sms, Taylor Swift, TwitterYo I’m Happy For You And Imma Let You Finish But…
[Twitter] Taylor Swift: @KimKardashian @kanyewest Yo I’m happy for you and imma let you finish but Beyonce had one of the best labours of all time.
Ballerinas, Imagery, WomenFreshly Washed Ballerinas
Freshly washed ballerinas.
Animals, Imagery, Seals, SharksDo Not Consume If Seal Is Broken!
Do not consume if seal is broken!
MedicalSeek And Find You…
I shall seek and find you…
Crocs, Friday The 13th, Imagery, Jason Voorhees, Movies, ShoesJason Voorhees Gets Crocs
Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th) gets Crocs.
Imagery, Math, SchoolI’ll Just Be A Stripper.
Screw this: I’ll just be a stripper.
Animals, Imagery, ZebrasZebra Crossing
Zebra Crossing…
Imagery, SnowDead Snowmen
Gruesomely dead snowmen.
Facebook, ImageryI Think I Might Stay Home Tonight…
I think I might stay home tonight… Liver and Wallet like this.
ImageryMarketing
Marketing…
Imagery, Masturbation, RisquéI’m Starting To Think My Husband Masturbates
I’m not absolutely certain yet, but I’m starting to think my husband masturbates
Imagery, RisquéThumb War
One, two three, four. I declare a thumb war…
Anatidaephobia, Animals, Ducks, ImageryAnatidaephobia
Anatidaephobia is the fear that somewhere in the world, there is a duck watching you.
Computers, Imagery, InternetNew Mail
10 years ago…
Imagery, PlanesAerodynamics Simplified
How planes fly.
Boats, Burials, Cemetries, Funerals, Imagery, SexistBoat Funeral
A funeral procession pulled into a cemetery. Several carloads of family members followed a black truck towing a boat with a coffin in it…
Imagery, InternetProcrastination
Have a little look at the Internet…
Al Qaeda, Bin Laden, Imagery, Political, TerrorismI Usually Get 9/11
I don’t always get rated on my terrorism attacks, but when I do, I usually get 9/11.
Africa, Animals, Imagery, MoviesThe Lion King: Proof At Last
Pumbaa & Timon…
PilotsBlind Pilots
You know, Bob, one of these days, they’re going to scream too late, and we’re all gonna die…
Animals, Bread, Dogs, Food, ImageryI’m Inbred!
I’m Inbred!
Animals, Bears, Cartoons, Imagery, PigsJackass Piglet
Hi, my name’s piglet and this is Jackass.
Comedians, Comedy, Grammar, Hitler, Imagery, JapanOne Thing Led To Another
I hate when you’re reading something and you come across the phrase “one thing led to another”
Computers, ImageryAlready Exists
skdjaskdhsajdahsdjashds.jpg already exists. Do you want to replace it? You've got to be kidding me.
Knock Knock, PolicePolice: Knock Knock
Police: Knock Knock. Me: Who is it? Police: It’s the police.
Animals, Beds, Dinosaurs, ImageryT-Rex Making A Bed
When you’re upset just imagine a T-Rex making a bed.
Forecasting, ImageryJohn’s Weather Forecasting Stone
One of the most reliable ways of forecasting…
Imagery, Ocd, ShirtsI Have CDO. It’s Like OCD But All The Letters Are In Alphabetical Order.
I have CDO. It’s like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order. As they should be.
Cars, ImageryPolished My Car Too Much
Polished my car too much, now it’s invisible…
Animals, Dogs, Imagery, RisquéBitches & Hose
Having so much fun…
Animals, Fish, Girls, ImagerySaved A Fish From Drowning
Here is a heart warming picture of a little girl that saved a fish from drowning.
Famous People, Imagery, Movie StarsReese Witherspoon
Reese Withoutherspoon.
Computer Games, Geeky, ImageryReality
Worst game ever.
ImagerySimple Eye Examination Test
A simple eye examination chart.
Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, Shoes, VintageWhere She Belongs
Keep her where she belongs…
Cars, Imagery, PoliceMisleading The Public
$100 for speeding and $250 for misleading the public…
Credit Cards, Genies, Imagery, Sexist, WomenIrresistible To Women
Make me irresistible to women
Imagery, Paper, SignsIs It Me You’re Looking For?
Hello? Is it me you’re looking for?
Children, Imagery, Sexist, ToysTo Avoid Perpetuating Gender Stereotypes
To avoid perpetuating gender stereotypes, I gave my daughter a mix of dolls and toy cars to play with. This is what happened…
Illusion, ImageryFour Perfectly Round Circles
Four Perfectly Round Circles.
Animals, Dogs, ImageryFridge Magnets
Well, tell me, Randy. Has someone eaten all the refrigerator magnets again?
America, Animals, Australia, Britain, Cows, India, Irish, PoliticalYou Have Two Cows
The eponymous cows is used to demonstrate the advantages and flaws of certain economic systems.
Buildings, Jokes, Physicists, PunsA Physicist Sees A Young Man About To Jump Off The Empire State Building
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building…
Guitars, Imagery, MusicFree Air Guitars
Christmas Gift Ideas: Free Air Guitars.
Buffering, Buffy, Imagery, TvBuffy Buffering
Buffy buffering…
Cars, PoliceSpeed Camera
Speed camera revenge…
Aeroplanes, Aircraft, Imagery, WarRequesting Air Support
Requesting Air Support! “Believe in yourself. You can do it!”
Archaeology, Canada, Cars, Imagery, SnowCanadian Archaeology
Canadian Archaeology: Digging a car out from under the snow
Imagery, PoliticalWill Be President For Food
Boy sitting next to sign “No Campaigning beyond This Point” holding sign “Will Be President for Food”.
Animals, Djs, Fishing, Imagery, MusicDrop The Bass
Can’t go fishing, ‘cause I always drop the bass…
Animals, Cats, ImageryAbercrombie & Cat
Abercrombie & Cat
Mayans, Movies, Predictions, The Hobbit, TolkienMayans Predicting The Hobbit Movie
Keep calm. The Mayans were simply counting down to The Hobbit movie.
Australia, Bank Notes, Banks, Imagery, Money, PoliticalAustralian Bank Notes
Australian Bank Notes.
Birds, Imagery, RavensWhere Have You Been All Weekend?
Where have you been all weekend? Out Raven.
Imagery, MenI'd Rather Break My Arms Than Take Two Trips
I'd rather break my arms than take two trips.
Imagery, Nietzsche, ReligiousNietzsche Is Dead
God is dead” ~Nietzsche / “Nietzsche is dead” ~God.
Illusion, ImageryThe Angry/Calm Illusion
The Angry/Calm Illusion.
Animals, ImageryAntique Tables
Made Daily…
Computers, Sms, WindowsWindows Frozen
Wife texts husband on a cold winter’s morning, “Windows frozen.”
Imagery, Political, Snowden, Spying, WikileaksEdward Snowden Buys A Plane Ticket From Moscow To Havana…
Snowden buys a plane ticket from Moscow to Havana. Over 30 journalists pay last-minute airfare for a ticket on the same flight. The doors shut, the plane takes off, and [Edward] Snowden is not on the plane. It’s a 16-hour flight.
Animals, Cats, ImageryHello Kitty
It’s sickeningly cute. Perhaps literally if its expression is anything to go by…
Batman, Imagery, Superman, WonderwomanIt Is Such A Drag When Someone In The Group Can’t Fly…
It is such a drag when someone in the group can’t fly… forcing everybody else to have to ride up the elevator too…
Babies, ImageryResisting A Rest
If I refuse to nap… is that resisting a rest?
Australia, Banks, ImageryAustralian Banks
Australian Bank Logos.
Food, Imagery, RisquéCarrot Love
When carrots get kinky…
PoliticalAbbott And Costello Go To Washington
Abbott And Costello Go To Washington.
Animals, Computer Games, Games, Imagery, PhonesAngry Birds
Angry Birds attend Anger Management.
Cars, Computer Games, ImageryLegend Of Zelda
A legend… of Zelda.
Animated, ImagerySpiderman
If Spiderman was a gay night-clubber…
Babies, Imagery, InstructionsBaby Instructions
Some useful instructions to keep baby alive and well…
Imagery, WorkHorse Whisperer
A very amusing workplace complaint.
Accidents, Cars, Imagery, TrucksThe Road To Success
On the road to success, there are no shortcuts…
Animals, ImageryUsed Cows
Used Cows for Sale.
Animals, Fish, Imagery, Love, Romance, SmsAnyways, Best Of Luck Finding Your Fish
Long story short, we’re in love. I know it seems sudden but life is sudden like that, you know? Anyways, best of luck finding your fish.
Animals, Cats, Imagery, RacoonsCat Found
Cat Found. Very aggressive.
Children, Families, Imagery, Parenting, SchoolWhen I Grow Up… I Want To Be Like Mommy!
I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer…
Girls, Imagery, Moon, Photography, Sexist, Space, WomenWent To The Moon, Took 5 Photos. Went To The Bathroom, Took 37 Photos.
Went to the moon, took 5 photos. Went to the bathroom, took 37 photos.
ImageryTrapped Miners
The first photo of the trapped miners…
Imagery, RisquéPremature Ejaculators Anonymous
Man stating he ‘came too soon’ in front of sign stating ‘premature ejaculators anonymous’.
America, RacistA Russian Arrives In New York
A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United States…
Geeky, Imagery, InternetYour Computer Is Broadcasting Your IP...
Your computer is broadcasting your IP over the Internet…
Australia, Imagery, Kevin Rudd, PoliticalThe Many Hands Of Kevin Rudd
The many hand gestures of Kevin Rudd.
Fire, Fire Extinguishers, ImageryFire Extinguisher Fire
Fire Extinguisher Fire: What do you do now?
Beer, Computers, GeekyIf Beer Was Like Operating Systems...
If Beer was like Operating Systems…
English, GrammarThat’s What She Said
That’s what she said.
Alphabet, Games, ImageryAlphabet Game
The Alphabet Game is a car game played to amuse travellers on long car rides.
Boobs, SexistTen Things Men Know About Women
Ten things men know about women…
Fonts, Imagery, TypographyBe Bold
Be bold or italic. Never regular.
Eggs, ImageryEscape Egg
Counting down the days to escape…
GeekyUnusual EBay Feedback
A+++! Would read this amusing page again…
SexistWinter Classes For Men
Winter Classes for Men at the Learning Centre for Adults
Advertising, Cooking, Imagery, Sexist, VintageCook – That’s What Wives Are For!
The Chef does everything but cook – that’s what wives are for!
Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Internet Explorer, Opera, SafariIE Retarded
I hope he doesn’t say something retarded…
Alcohol, Goon, Imagery, Logan, Police, RacistLargest Goon Bust In Logan’s History
Logan police in conjunction with the A.F.P. hauled in the largest goon bust in Logan’s history. With an estimated street value of $39.
Fortune Cookies, ImageryYou Are Not Illiterate.
You are not illiterate.
Geeky, ImageryReach Out
Reach Out!
SexistGuts Or Balls?
We’ve all heard about men having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them?
Africa, Animals, Imagery, Lions, SafarisShould I Tell Them I’m Here?
Should I tell them I’m here?
ImageryLegoland Will Never Be The Same...
Legoland will never be the same…
Imagery, Movies, RomanceGirlfriends: Harry Potter Versus Twilight
Ginny: When Harry broke up with me for my safety…
Drink, Food, ImageryThings To Eat And Drink In Public
Things to eat and drink in public.
Animals, Animated, Dogs, Imagery, TonguesDog Tongue
A dog with a very long tongue.
Alcohol, ChemistryAlcohol Is A Solution
Not to get technical but according to chemistry alcohol is a solution.
SexistPerfect Riddle
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met…
Imagery, Music, Rap, Rock, SignsRap Loses To Rock
Rap is like scissors, it always loses to rock.
Accidents, Buses, Cars, Imagery, InsuranceDon’t You Suggest To Me What To Do
If you don’t have GIO Third Party Property Insurance, we suggest you don’t hit this bus.
Animals, Dogs, Education, Elephants, Exams, Fish, Imagery, Monkeys, Penguins, School, SealsOur Education System
[To an assorted group of animals] Our Education System: For a fair selection everybody has to take the same exam: Please climb that tree.
Cycling, Drugs, SportI Think It Is Just Terrible And Disgusting How Everyone Has Treated Lance Armstrong
I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he achieved, winning seven Tour de France races while on drugs. When I was on drugs, I couldn’t even find my bike.
Alcohol, Animated, Fire, Imagery, Racist, Russia, SneezingIn Russia People Sneeze Fire
In Russia people sneeze fire after drinking lots of vodka.
Dear Thigh Fat
Help the needy?
Imagery, TeaMr. Tea
Mr. Tea the teapot.
Animated, ImageryWait!
Wait…
Australia, Cooking, God, Imagery, KitchensIn God’s Kitchen
In God’s Kitchen: What are you cooking?
Alcohol, Books, Imagery, WineBook Club
My book club only reads wine labels.
Computers, Geeky, ImageryKeyboards
Amusing Keyboards
Animals, Imagery, Internet, RabbitsStop Surfing The Internet And Just Go To Bed
Holy crap! Look how late it is! Why do I always do this? Why is it so hard to stop surfing the internet and just go to bed?
Geeky, InternetUsing AOL? Mind If We LOL?
Using AOL? Mind if we LOL?
Australia, PoliticalPsalm 2009 – 2012
The First Book of Government.
Bankruptcy, Divorce, Imagery, LiquorBankruptcy, Divorce, Liquor
Bankruptcy, Divorce, Liquor.
Adoption, Babies, ImageryAdopted Baby
Dude, I’m joking, you are not adopted!
Doctors, HospitalsFinding Information In Hospital
A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph’s Hospital…
Animals, Bunnies, Chocolate, Easter, Food, Imagery, RabbitsEaster Bunnies
Chocolate Easter Bunnies: My butt hurts! What?
Animals, Business, Dogs, ImageryAssistant Branch Manager
The Branch Manager and the Assistant Branch Manager.
ImageryBribing Santa
Dear Santa, if you leave a new bike under the tree, I will give you the antidote to the poison I put in the milk.
Imagery, RisquéToo Long
Her: Do you want to her a joke about my vagina? Nevermind… you’ll never get it! Her: Do you want to her a joke about my vagina? Nevermind… you’ll never get it!
Animals, Birds, Imagery, SeagullsSomebody Come Look At This
Somebody Come Look at This
Risqué, SexistThe Perfect Password
A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, the computer advised him that he would now need to enter a password…
Air Force, Fighter Jets, Imagery, Jets, NavyWrong Button
Fighter jet hits the wrong button.
Highway Patrol, Police, Speeding, WorkcoverSweet Justice
Workcover versus the police…
Computers, GeekyRandom Number
A simple function to return a random number.
Bananas, Chris Brown, Food, Imagery, RihannaChris Brown & Rihanna Bananas
I can’t believe she didn’t press charges. It got worse when he posted the unpeeled photos of her.
Food, Imagery, Microwaves, ScienceNo Science In This Microwave
Food only. Absolutely no science in this microwave.
Charts, Computer Games, Imagery, Pacman, Pie ChartsPacman Pie Chart
The Pacman pie chart.
Beer, SexistA Beer Before It Starts
A man came home from work, sat down in his favourite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, “Quick, bring me a beer before it starts”…
Imagery, MoviesThere Are Three Kinds Of People: Impatient, Patient, And Rich.
There are three kinds of people: Impatient, patient, and rich.
Jokes, RisquéWhere Is Amanda’s Husband?
Amanda is 21 years older than her son John. In 6 years from now, Amanda will be 5 times as old as John…
English, GrammarYour There
They’re they are.
Political, SchoolMath Instruction
At Heathrow Airport today…
Food, Imagery, SexistBut God, She Won’t Even Make Me A Sandwich…
But God, She Won’t Even Make Me a Sandwich…
Animals, Fish, ImageryCan February March? No, But April May.
Can February March? No, but April May.
Animals, Bears, Guns, ImageryWhat Is The Smallest Calibre You Trust To Protect Yourself?
I remember one time while hiking with my girlfriend in northern Alberta and out of nowhere came this huge brown bear charging us, and was she mad!
Animals, Computer Games, Computers, Imagery, SpidersBravery
…in the face of spiders.
Animals, Imagery, SlugsFeeling Sluggish
I’ve been feeling a bit sluggish…
Illusion, ImageryWhat Kind Of Sorcery Lets These Two Blocks Be The Same Color?
One is dark, one is light. One is gray, one is white. These are obviously two different blocks with two different colors right? Wrong. The two blocks are the same color.
America, Canada, RacistU.S. Ship Versus Canadian
U.S. Ship versus Canadian.
Imagery**** I Forgot To Turn Off The Oven
**** I forgot to turn off the oven.
Calendars, Comics, Imagery, MayansThe Mayan Calendar
I only had enough room to go up to 2012…
Geeky, Imagery, TechnologyBack-Up
Image of man backing-up with computer.
Board Games, Imagery, SexistWomen’s Monopoly
By a man…
Imagery, PhonesJester App
Sorry–you've been replaced by an app…
Imagery, RedneckRedneck Ingenuity
Redneck Ingenuity: Shoes for tyres.
Imagery, Sexist, TalkingWomen Use About 30,000 Words A Day
Did you know that women use about 30,000 words a day while men use only 15,000?
Marriage, Religious, Sexist, WivesGood & Obedient Wives
And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world…
Animals, Imagery, Languages, Latin, PigsPig Latin
Pig Latin…
Fish, Imagery, MermaidsReverse Mermaid
You are alone on an uninhabited island. Which of these would you choose as your companion?
Australia, Cars, Ghosts, Pub, Storm, SupernaturalA True Australian Ghost Story
This story happened a short while ago near Brisbane, and even though it sounds a little Alfred Hitchcock… it’s (supposedly) true.
Animals, Bears, Imagery, PenguinsDo One Brave Thing Today
Do one brave thing today… then run like hell!
Mayans, PredictionsMayans Predicting The Future
Calm down… If the Mayans were good at predicting the future, there would still be Mayans.
Blonde, Fruit, Ginger, Hair, Imagery, Strawberries, WomenGinger Versus Strawberry Blonde
This is a strawberry. This is ginger…
Homeless, SexistSledgehammer Psychology
A business man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner…
History, ImageryThe Most Difficult Thing To Explain To Someone From The 1950s
If someone from the 1950s suddenly appeared today, what would be the most difficult thing to explain to them about life today?
InternetMoronic Email Scam
Nigerian spam…
Australia, Democracy, Imagery, Political, RisquéAmazing Holes
Amazing Holes from Around the World.
Animals, Harry Potter, Horses, ImageryWingardium Levi-horse-a
Wingardium levi-horse-a!
Animals, Cats, Imagery, MetallicaMettalicat
Mettalicat: Sleeps with one eye open, gripping his pillow tight.
Animals, Imagery, PigsBacon Seed
Bacon seed.
Risqué, WorkThe Boss’s Quandary
The Boss’s Quandary…
Imagery, MondaysShortest Horror Story: Monday
Shortest horror story: Monday.
Imagery, WorkNothing To Do
In case of nothing to do, break glass and then sweep up broken glass.
Imagery, SexistHow Could You Be So Insensitive?
How Could You Be So Insensitive? This is what it looks like from the other person’s perspective.
GeekyQ209354 - HOWTO
How to RTFM…
Advertising, April Fools, Ikea, Imagery, Product Recalls, ToolsIKEA Product Recall
IKEA product recall advert on April Fools Day
Cars, Imagery, Movies, Pulp Fiction, The RockHave You Seen Pulp Fiction?
Have you seen Pulp Fiction? Yeah, but I didn’t like it.
ImageryProblem Solving Flowchart
A simple, and humorous, flowchart that successfully troubleshoots almost any problem you can think of.
Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryJust Being A Cat
Dog attacks person. Put dog to sleep. Cat attacks person. LOL, jus’ bein’ a cat.
Imagery, Men, SexistMen Have Feelings Too!
Men have feelings too! For example, we feel hungry.
Animals, Birds, Crows, Imagery, TrucksCrows Killed By Trucks
Why are so many crows killed by trucks?
Imagery, Toilets, VandalismToilet Vandalism
We buy things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like…
Alligators, Animals, Crocodiles, ImageryHow To Tell Alligators And Crocodiles Apart
It’s not that difficult to tell alligators and crocodiles apart…
Beer, Geeky, Imagery, WorkUltimate Camouflage
An office beer fridge…
Boobs, Elevators, Imagery, RisquéThis Morning, I Was Beaten Up By A Busy Woman In An Elevator
This morning, I was beaten up by a busy woman in an elevator. I was staring at her boobs when she said, “would you please press one?”. So I did. I don’t remember much after that.
America, Animated, Imagery, Obama, PoliticalThanks, Obama
Thanks, Obama.
Political, RisquéHillary Clinton Goes To Her Doctor For A Physical…
Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical…
Animals, Cows, Horses, ImageryThis Guy’s An Idiot! Quick, Take A Picture!
This guy’s an idiot! Quick, take a picture!
Bottles, Imagery, Messages, UsbModern Day Message In A Bottle
A USB stick in a bottle lying on the beach.
ImageryAll Images
All Images
Australia, Condoms, New Zealand, Racist, RisquéAustralian Condoms
New Zealand runs out of condoms…
Animals, Dachshunds, Dogs, Imagery, RacingDachshund Racing
Googled “dachshund racing”. Was not disappointed.
English, GrammarBipolar Awesome
English can be weird. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
Animals, Apples, Cats, Imagery, MathSeven Cats
If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?
Jokes, MathMath Joke
Math joke.
Animals, Cats, Imagery, Mayans, PredictionsWorst Apocalypse Ever
[A grumpy cat the day the Mayan calendar ended] “Still Here. Worst Apocalypse Ever.”
Banks, ImageryI Was Going To Make A Joke About A Bank, But Then I Lost Interest…
I was going to make a joke about a bank, but then I lost interest…
Advertising, ImageryColgate Dental Floss Advertising Campaign
Colgate have created an ingenious campaign to promote their dental floss.
Animals, Australia, Dangerous, ImageryDangerous Australia
It’s no wonder we all live here…
Doorbells, Imagery, Logan, RacistLogan Doorbell
To ring door bell, connect wires.
100 Guidelines On Becoming An Evil Villain
World domination is everyone’s dream. It’s not a bad job really…
Imagery, RisquéSave Paper
Save paper…
Imagery, RacistHas One Night Stand
Has one night stand, but way too many books to fit on it.
Bogans, Imagery, Iphone, SpeakersBogan Bass
Bogan Bass: Yet somehow still better than Beats by Dr Dre.
Facebook, InternetFacebook Farm
A dying granny tells her granddaughter, “I want to leave you my farm…
Animals, Imagery, LlamasGet In The Llama
No time to explain! Get in the llama…
Risqué, SexKeep Your Mouth Shut
If you don’t believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut!
Imagery, MilkLying About Skim Milk
There’s only one thing I hate more than lying. Skim milk, which is water that’s lying about being milk.
Campbell Newman, Imagery, Political, QueenslandCampbell Newman: Public Service: You Can Trust Me
[Campbell Newman laughing] …and then I said to the public service… you can trust me…
Daleks, Doctor Who, Geeky, RobotsWhat Would Robots From The 1960's…
What would robots from 1960’s and 1970’s TV say today with current software installed?
The Fellowship Of The Ring
The Fellowship of the Ring.
Animated, Flash, Illusion, ImageryIllusions
Warning: May induce epilepsy or cardiac arrest…
ImageryHoliday House
The Holiday House
Horror MoviesIf You Are Lonely, Dim All Lights
If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you’re alone anymore.
Animated, ImageryA Teaser
You must stare very closely at the door in this image for around 30 seconds…
Imagery, Signs, WarningsThrew Caution To The Wind
Looks like someone threw caution to the wind.
English, WordsI’m Awkward When People Compliment Me…
I’m awkward when people compliment me… “Nice hair” Me: “Thanks, I grew it myself”
Cars, ImageryCar Alarms
Car alarms: They piss me off!
Out Of Breath
Dispatcher: Emergency Services, how may I help you?
Animals, Flamingos, ImageryGarden Flamingo
Garden Flamingo…
Animated, Imagery, MedicalRoot Canal
Amusing animated image of root canal treatment
Autocorrect, Imagery, Iphone, SmsBroken Penis
I broke my penis and it exploded all over my pants.
Accidents, Cars, Imagery, Seatbelts, SexistNew Seatbelt Design: 45% Less Car Accidents!
A man driving a car while a woman sits beside him, with her seatbelt across her mouth, preventing her from commenting.
Geeky, SexistDear Tech Support
Girlfriend technical support…
Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, SexistAre Those Yours?
…they’re turning out so big and cute!
Coffee, Hipsters, Imagery, SignsHow Did The Hipster Burn His Tongue?
How did the hipster burn his tongue? He sipped on his coffee before it was cool.
Imagery, UniversityUniversity Website
Things on the front page of a university website.
Energy Drinks, Geeky, Imagery, Rubiks CubesMonster Energy Drinks & Rubiks Cubes
Monster energy drinks & Rubiks Cubes: Dude. You have a problem. Problem solved!
Computer Games, Imagery, Microsoft, XboxXbox One Vs. An Ordinary Brick
Xbox One vs. An Ordinary Brick: Price, DRM Free, Requires Internet, Region Locked…
Flying, Imagery, SportFlying – Because Golf Only Takes One Ball
Flying – because softball, baseball, football, basketball, soccer, bowling and golf only take one ball.
Cats, Imagery, MailboxesMailman Jumped 15 Feet
Mailman jumped 15 feet. Dog was right. This is fun.
Animals, Cats, ImageryI’m Glad You’re Up
I’ve put all of your folded shirts on the floor for you.
Animals, Dogs, Imagery, SnakesLong Dogs
A man walking two long dogs meets a man walking two normal dogs…
Imagery, Risqué, Tape Measures, ToolsBreakdown Of A Man’s Tape Measure Usage
Breakdown of a man’s tape measure usage
ImageryMichael Jackson's Dog
A rather mean impression of what Michael Jackson’s dog might look like, if it had similar surgery.
Imagery, Mafia, RecruitersRecruiters Are One Step Above The Mafia
Recruiters are one step above the Mafia…
Cooking, Frypans, ImageryNon-stick Frypan
A stuck non-stick frypan…
Imagery, Kim Jong-un, North Korea, SnickersKim, Eat A Snickers
Kim Jong-un: I’m going to nuke everyone. Kim, eat a Snickers. Kim: Why? Because you turn into a war mongler when you’re hungry. Better? Kim: Better.
ImageryWhat Is A Sonofabitch?
What is a sonofab*tch, exactly?
For Sale, Imagery, Posters, PrintersPrinter For Sale
Printer For Sale. Works Terribly.
Elderly, Hearing Aids, ImageryExpensive Hearing Aid
A man was telling his neighbour, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.”
Animals, ImageryFalling Cows
A roadsign showing a cow falling off a cliff and onto a car.
Hats, Imagery, SportYou Can’t Beat Stupid…
I wish they would invent something to keep the sun out of my eyes…
Imagery, Toilet PaperToilet Paper
A piece of toilet paper saving another piece…
GeekyHuman Hotfix
Hotfix Patch for Humans released.
Cars, Imagery, MosquitosA Mosquito With A Helmet
Mosquitos flying towards a car.
Animals, Horses, Imagery, SeahorsesSeahorse
I’m a seahorse. Your argument is invalid.
Apple, Computers, Flash, Geeky, Imagery, MacMacintosh
Mac Hater…
Advertising, Cigarettes, Imagery, Risqué, Sexist, VintageBlow In Her Face
Blow in her face and she'll follow you anywhere.
Browsers, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, WindowsFirefox Has Encountered…
…an unexpected problem with Windows.
English, WordsWhat Is A Word Made Up Of 4 Letters Yet Is Also Made Up Of 3
What is a word made up of 4 letters yet is also made up of 3. Although is written with 8 letters, and then with 4. Rarely consists of 6, and never is written with 5.
Imagery, SpidersSpider’s Remember
Remember when you threw a shoe at me and I fell somewhere behind the bed? I remember too.
Imagery, RisquéDon’t Fall For This
The CIA is trying to steal my…
Geeky, History, Internet, ItHow The Internet Started: A History Lesson
How the Internet Started: A History Lesson.
Imagery, PoliticalMad Magazine’s Boy Grows Up
The boy from Mad Magazine morphing into George Bush.
Animals, Cats, Imagery, KittensNo Sitz
I be here!
Imagery, Marriage, Onions, People, ProposingProposing With An Onion
Proposing with an onion: Guaranteed to cry.
Animals, Cats, Egyptians, Hieroglyphics, ImageryAncient Egyptians: Posting Cats To Their Walls Since 3150 BC
Ancient Egyptians: Posting cats to their walls since 3150 BC
Facebook, Imagery, Sexist, Sport, VolleyballLadies Beach Volleyball
Just been watching Ladies Beach Volleyball, and there’s already been a wrist injury… but I should be OK by Friday.
Awards, Imagery, Jobs, Roads, WorkThe Winner Of The “Not My Job” Award
The Winner of the “Not My Job” Award goes to…
ImageryThe Ego Boost Urinal
The Ego Boost Urinal.
Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryCat: The Dog Went Missing
Cat: The dog went missing? Hahaha! Hahaha! I’m sorry human. Hahaha… no seriously, I’m so sad…
Atoms, Imagery, SignsDo Not Trust Atoms
Do not trust atoms. They make up everything.
GrammarI. Like. It. How. When. You. Read. This. The. Little. Voice. In. Your. Head. Takes. Pauses.
I. Like. It. How. When. You. Read. This. The. Little. Voice. In. Your. Head. Takes. Pauses.
Emoji, Imagery, Phones, SmsEmoji
Alien blood transfusions are illegal for ghosts, but beach chickens win!
Accidents, Aeroplanes, Imagery, LuggageClosing Airline Luggage Doors
Closing Airline Luggage Doors.
Animals, Bikes, Frogs, Imagery, Kermit The FrogWrong Way
Wrong Way
Joke, MathMath Problem
John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now?
Comics, English, ImageryThe Accidental Conversation Loop
My greatest social fear: The Accidental Conversation Loop.
Computer Games, Imagery, SexistCall Of Duty: Women’s Edition
Call of Duty: Women’s Edition.
PhrasesWhen Someone Yells “STOP”…
When someone yells “STOP”, I never know if it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammertime, or I should collaborate and listen…
Imagery, Risqué, SexistGrow Some Balls
Why do people say ‘grow some balls’?
Geeky, ImageryCaps Lock
A visual representation of the use of caps lock.
Computers, GeekyOperating System Airlines
Operating System Airlines.
Alligators, Animals, Crocodiles, Imagery, TurtlesTurtle Cavalry
Onward, alligator steed!
Fire, ImageryFire Distinguisher
Fire Distinguisher: Yep, that’s fire…
Coffee, Religious, SexistMorning Coffee
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning…
Bananas, Food, Hats, ImageryBanana Hat
Banana hat…
Geeky, ImageryDelete Cookies
Delete cookies?!
Imagery, Numbers, Star WarsWhy Was Five Afraid Of Seven?
Why was Five afraid of Seven? Because Six Seven Eight.
Animals, Horses, Imagery, Knights, Monty Python, Riding, TvCouldn’t Find My Coconut Shells.
Was gonna ride to work today. Couldn’t find my coconut shells.
ImageryTechnically Correct
…but still wrong.
Animals, Birds, Chickens, Imagery, Rock And RollChook Heavy Metal Guitarist
A heavy metal guitarist chicken
Imagery, Phones, Sms, SmsLost Phone
A man sends SMS from a lost phone…
English, Grammar, Risqué, School, University, WritingShort Story
A college class was told they had to write a short story in as few words as possible.…
Imagery, Marriage, Men, WomenMarriage Secrets Of Highly Successful Couples
Marriage secrets of highly successful couples.
Imagery, ShipsA Ship Shipping Ship Shipping Shipping Ships.
A ship shipping ship shipping shipping ships.
Animals, Penguins, SleepIf Penguins Have Knees
3 out of 4 voices in my head want to sleep (the other wants to know if penguins have knees!)
America, Imagery, North Korea, Obama, RacistNorth Korea: I Will Destroy America
North Korea: I will destroy America! Obama: Too late!
Jokes, Punography, PunsPunography
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me…
Harry Potter, Imagery, SmsMaster Has Presented Dobby With Clothes! Dobby Is Free!
Well I’m grounded. WTF did you do this time? My Mum asked me to do the laundry and threw a sock at me… I ran away screaming “Master has presented Dobby with clothes! Dobby is free!”
Animals, Giraffes, Imagery, SpidersGiraffe Spider
A giraffe spots a spider…
Imagery, SexistBefore And After...
Before and after marriage…
Australia, Imagery, Kevin Rudd, PoliticalKevin Rudd’s Ego
Kevin Rudd’s Ego.
Animals, Cats, ImageryJust Wait Until I’m Fully Charged
Just wait until I’m fully charged…
America, Cia, Cocaine, Coke, Drugs, ImageryCIA: We Put The Coke In America
CIA: we put the coke in America.
Bananas, Food, Imagery, SuicideSuicidal Bananas
A collection of suicidal bananas.
Africa, Apple, Imagery, Ipad, StarvingThinner Than Ever
Thinner than ever.
Agony Aunt, Cheating, Dear Abby, Imagery, Motorbikes, Relationships, SexistDear Abby, I’ve Never Written To You Before…
Dear Abby, I’ve never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision…
Cars, Dumbledore, Harry Potter, Imagery, PetrolExpecto Petroleum!
Expecto Petroleum!
Animals, Fire, Imagery, SpidersThere Was A Spider, I Panicked
There was a spider, I panicked. But I think it’s gone now.
Imagery, Osama Bin Laden, Sport, Terrorists, Weight LiftingOsama Bin Liftin’
Osama Bin Liftin’
Animals, Animated, ImageryLesson Of The Day
You should never do anything wrong, it will catch up with you…
Animals, Cats, Godzilla, Imagery, KittensGodzilla Kitten
Terrifyingly cute…
Animals, Dogs, ImageryHow The Hell Is The Ball Still In Your Hand?
How the hell is the ball still in your hand?
Illusion, ImageryRound Illusion
Unusual round illusion.
France, Germany, Imagery, RacistAngela Merkel Arrives At Passport Control At Paris Airport…
Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control at Paris airport. “Nationality?” asks the immigration officer. “German,” she replies. “Occupation?” “No, just here for a few days.”
Cars, Geeky, TechnologyCars And Computers
General Motors doesn’t have a help line for people who don’t know how to drive because people don’t buy cars like they buy computers, but imagine if they did…
Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, VintageDormeyer Crying Wives
Wives: Look this ad over carefully. Circle the items you want for Christmas. Show it to your husband. If he does not go to the store immediately, cry a little…
Coolers, Imagery, SexistIf A Man Says He Will Fix It, He Will
If a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months.
Imagery, RisquéHebrew Cave Paintings
Written across the wall of the cave were the following symbols…
RacistAmerican History 101
American History 101
ImagerySuper Batman
The Super Batman back pack, exclusive from China!
Imagery, KnittingWinter Knitting
What are you going to knit this winter?
GeekyHow Many Does It Take...
How many forum posters does it take to change a light bulb?
Imagery, TurtlesA Wee Turtle
A wee turtle…
Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, SexistDream Girl
Girl on beach with six breasts.
Dinosaurs, Imagery, MuseumsTrannysaurus
Trannysaurus: You’re fired.
Cold, Flu, Illness, Imagery, Man Flu, SexistMan Flu
The difference between men & women when they are sick.
Hunger Games, Imagery, Katniss Everdeen, Kristen Stewart, Movies, Movie Stars, Smiling, TwilightKristen Stewart Smiles
I don’t always smile, but when I do, I don’t.
Animals, Dogs, Imagery, Werewolves, WolvesAware Wolf
A werewolf. A wearwolf. A warewolf. Aware wolf.
Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Internet ExplorerBrowser Wars
Browser Wars: Chrome versus Firefox… and Internet Explorer…
Facebook, Imagery, MoneyHow To Make Money From Facebook
How to make money from facebook: 1) just go to “Account Settings”; 2) Press “Deactivate your account”; 3) Go to work.
Chocolate, Geeky, Homes, Honey, Imagery, Milk, PhonesQuite Literally…
I phone, you tube. Hi honey, I’m home. Chocolate milk shake.
Bikes, Imagery, PostsHave You Seen This Post?
Have you seen this post? He didn’t.
Bikes, Geeky, It, SexistAn IT Student Is Walking Along With His Bike…
An IT student is walking along with his bike…
Advertising, Gay, Imagery, Showers, VintageBradley Group Showers
Bradley Group Showers.
Helpline, Imagery, Phones, YogaYoga Emergency Hotline
Yoga Emergency Hotline, how may I help you?
Bill Gates, Imagery, Mario, North Korea, Star Wars, WinrarThe Good Guys Of The World
These are the Good Guys of the World.
Imagery, SpicesSeasons Greetings
Seasons Greetings
Imagery, Internet, SwordsSwords Of The Centuries
Swords of the Centuries
Business Cards, Geeky, Imagery, Notepad, WindowsNotepad Business Card
A business card styled to look like Windows Notepad.
Books, ImageryRead Your Book Case
A bookcase worth reading.
Guns, Imagery, ToastToast Toasts Toast?
If guns don’t kill people, people kill people, does that mean…
Animals, Imagery, Lightbulbs, Mice, Risqué, SexHow Many Mice Does It Take To Screw In A Lightbulb?
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Facebook, Imagery, NewspapersReal Life Facebook
I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles…
Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, Lotr, PizzaBrace Yourself. Pizza Is Coming.
Brace Yourself. Pizza is coming.
Imagery, Posters, ScienceLost Wormhole
Do not attempt capture because you’ll totally screw with the space/time continuum bro.
Animals, ImageryCat Legs
There really isn’t much else to say about this.
Dogs, ImageryMy Dog Bailey Tried To Steal Stuff Out Of My Daughter’s Purse.
My dog Bailey tried to steal stuff out of my daughter’s purse. He got stuck and came over to me for help.
Dating, Imagery, Relationships, SexistAnd Then I Said
And Then I Said… The Differences Between Boys & Girls.
America, English, Imagery, RacistEnglish (Traditional) And English (Simplified)
English (Traditional) and English (Simplified).
Animals, Cats, ImageryDid You Try Jumping Off The Refrigerator Too?
Did you try jumping off the refrigerator too?
SexistMen’s Rules
We always hear the rules from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side…
Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, Vintage, VitaminsThe Harder A Wife Works, The Cuter She Looks
So the harder a wife works, the cuter she looks!
Animals, Elephants, Imagery, RisquéElephant Upskirt
Elephant Upskirt.
Medical, RisquéBetter Than A Flu Shot
Better than a Flu Shot
Animals, Australia, Birds, Dingoes, Dolphins, Fish, Galahs, Imagery, Kangaroos, Koalas, Kookaburras, Parrots, Penguins, Snakes, Toads, TurtlesAccurate Animal Names: Australian Edition
Accurate Animal Names: Australian Edition
WorkMergers
Amusing mergers.
RisquéTest Your Subconscious
This revolutionary test will expose the secret desires from your subconscious…
Angels, Imagery, Red Bull, SculpturesRed Bull Gives You Wings
Red Bull Gives You Wings.
Beaches, Imagery, Irish, SunbathingIrish Girl Sunbathing
An Irish girl sunbathes…
Parties, WatchesNot On My Watch
Lost my watch at a party once…
Cars, Imagery, Roads, SignsTired? Powernap Now.
Tired? Powernap now.
ImageryBatman Downsized
Batman forced to downsize with increase in petrol prices…
Animals, Drugs, Imagery, RabbitsHigh Rabbits
Two rabbits getting high on marijuana.
Advertising, Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Phones, TechnologyIPhone 10 – The Tallest IPhone Yet
A mock-up of the iPhone 10, after the launch of the “taller” iPhone5.
Imagery, TvThinking Outside The Square
A sideways television.
Advertising, Gay, Imagery, Ovaltine, VintageTo Wake Up Gay In The Morning…
To wake up gay in the morning just try this at Bedtime Tonight!
Imagery, RisquéAdult Dog Store
A dog carries an inflatable leg from an Adult Dog Store.
Geeky, Imagery, Sexist, WomenHazardous Materials Data Sheet – Woman
Hazardous Materials Data Sheet – Woman.
English, Grammar, Imagery, School, TeachersGrammar Vandal
When English teachers snap: Sorry Ma’am, but bad grammar is no excuse for vandalism.
America, Democracy, PoliticalHow To Know When You’ve Met A Democrat
Just in case you have trouble knowing when you’ve met a Democrat…
Imagery, Monday, Punch, WorkThe Monday Punch
The Monday Punch: A man punched in the face.
Africa, Animals, ImageryRhino Painting
A rhinoceros painting…
Balloons, Cars, ImageryMissile Balloons
Missile Balloons.
Einstein, ImageryYou Matter
You are living, you occupy space, you have a mass… you matter.
Animals, Imagery, SealsThe Seal Of Approval
The Seal of Approval…
Hippies, Imagery, ShirtsPassive Agressive Hippie
Passive Agressive Hippie: You want a [peace sign] of me?
Imagery, Money, Monopoly, StrippersMonopoly Money For Fake Boobs
I think it’s only fair to throw monopoly money at strippers with fake boobs.
AlcoholCalm Living
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me today, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives.
Animals, JokePygmy Dinosaur Hunter
The Pygmy Dinosaur Hunter…
Imagery, JokeHow Many Alzheimer’s Patients Does It Take?
To get to the other side!
Bikes, Imagery, NoticesBicycles Chained To These Railings Will Be Removed Without Notice.
Bicycles chained to these railings will be removed without notice. This is a notice, you idiot!
Animated, Illusion, ImageryTwo Person Optical Illusion
Optical illusion: Keep your eyes on the cross, and see what happens.
Jewellery, Jokes, Puns, RingsSomeone Stole My Mood Ring
Someone stole my mood ring.
Imagery, Newspapers, TechnologyAll This Technology Is Making Us Antisocial
All this technology is making us antisocial: A tram full of people ignoring each other and reading the newspaper.
Cars, Imagery, MessagesThe 710 Cap
Hun I have a problem in my car…
Cars, ImageryHome Mechanics
Home Mechanics and their cars.
Animals, Bananas, Dogs, Food, ImageryBanana Dogs
Banana Dogs.
Imagery, Jokes, ScrabbleScrabble Jokes
I accidentally swallowed some scrabble tiles… My next dump could spell disaster.
Cars, ImageryGarage Door Covers
Amusing garage door covers
Duct Tape, Imagery, WorkEmergency Bridge Repair Team
Duct Tape: Good for anything.
Animals, Cows, ImageryA Cow Getting A Back Scratch
A cow getting a back scratch.
Comics, Imagery, VeganI Am Going Vegan
I am going vegan
Australia, Imagery, Logan, RacistAll Trades Logan
All Trades Logan.
Aboriginal, Australia, RacistAboriginal Eggs
Two Aboriginal lads are riding along the Hume Highway on a motorbike…
Illusion, ImageryThey See Us Rollin’
They See Us Rollin’… We Aren’t…
Australia, Imagery, Matches, Pauline Hanson, Political, Redheads, RednecksRednecks
Redneck Matches…
Animals, Cats, Imagery, LionsA Cat With A Lion’s Mane Hat
A cat with a lion’s mane hat.
Canada, Flutes, Imagery, SignsCanada Has A Serious Epidemic
Protect yourself and others from the flute.
Cyclones, Imagery, SupermarketsCyclone Magic Trick
Wanna see a magic trick?
Bones, ImageryI Found This Humerus
I found this humerus.
Daleks, Dr Who, Food, Garlic, Imagery, TvGarlek
Garlek.
Animals, Chickens, Chicks, ImageryHow To Pick Up Chicks
Instructional guide on how to pick up chicks.
Imagery, RocksMy Pet Rock Ran Away
My Pet Rock Ran Away…
Exams, Imagery, Signs, University, UqIn Class Vs. In Your Exam
In class vs. in your exam.
Babies, Imagery, PregnancyPregnancy Tips
Some useful pregnancy tips…
Apple, Computers, Decals, Imagery, Laptops, Mac, Macbook, Stickers, TechnologyCreative Apple MacBook Stickers
A collection of creative Apple MacBook stickers & decals.
Droids, Imagery, Star WarsLook, Sir. Droids!
These are not the droids you are looking for.
Imagery, R2-d2, Star Wars, TvThe Most Vulgar Character Of All Time
R2D2: They beeped out every single word he said
Imagery, RisquéJelly Orgy
A jelly orgy.
Food, Imagery, PizzaI Just Burned 1500 Calories In About Five Minutes
I just burned 1500 calories in about five minutes. I forgot the pizza was in the oven.
Diving, Imagery, Sharks, Sign LanguageA Signal They Forgot To Teach You In Your Open Water Class.
Big shark behind you: A signal they forgot to teach you in your open water class.
Perfect Existence
Perfect Existence: The Proof
Agony Aunt, Cheating, Clinton, Dear Abby, Dear Abby, Political, RelationshipsDear Abby, My Husband Is A Liar And A Cheat…
My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything…
Animals, Dogs, Drugs, Imagery, MethMeth Lab Dog
Yellow Lab, Black Lab, Chocolate Lab, Meth Lab!
Animals, Cars, Donkeys, ImageryA BMW Donkey
A BMW donkey. Not much more to be said really.
Bananas, Fruit, ImageryAppealing Attire
I find this attire… appeeling.
Imagery, ToiletsWalked Into A Public Bathroom
Walked into a public bathroom. Saw this and heard “hello?”
Food, Imagery, Pasta, TrucksPasta Truck
A pasta truck, or a very large pasta.
SchoolThe History Of The World
The History of the World, as written by the next generation…
Imagery, SignsAlways Give 100%
Whatever you do always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.
Comics, ImageryHorton Hears The Who
Horton Hears the Who
Computers, ImageryChecking On A Slow Progress Bar
Checking on a slow progress bar.
Computers, GeekyMicrosoft Lightbulb Jokes
Microsoft Lightbulb Jokes.
Funerals, Imagery, Italian, RacistThe Italian Funeral
Pasquale died. His will provided ,000 for an elaborate funeral…
Fish, ImageryThe Swordfish
The swordfish has few predators to worry about in the wild, except for the seldom seen penfish which is said to be even mightier.
Bugs Bunny, Cartoons, Daffy Duck, Donald Duck, Goofy, Imagery, Looney Tunes, Mickey Mouse, Porky Pig, Road Runner, Tom And Jerry, Wile E CoyoteJust To Make You Feel Really Old
Just to make you feel really old…
Bags, Imagery, ShoppingI’ll Be Bag
A bag titled “I’ll Be Bag”
Beer, Imagery, Logan, Prams, Racist, Victoria BitterLogan Priorities
Logan Priorities.
Dinosaurs, Imagery, Political, SpyingIf You’re Not Doing Anything Wrong, You Shouldn’t Have Anything To Hide
The government says “If you’re not doing anything wrong, you shouldn’t have anything to hide.” If that is true, shouldn’t the government declassify everything?
Imagery, RisquéPull Out & Save
Save up to $600!
Drugs, Imagery, Meth, R2-d2, Robots, Star WarsMeth: Before & After
Meth: Before & After (or R2-D2 versus R2-FU).
Beer, ImagerySix Die In Horror Smash
Six Die in Horror Smash.
ImageryBest Way To Freak Out Your Friends
Best way to freak out your friends: Do not open unless you plan to kill it (written on an upside down container)
Imagery, Topgear, TvIs There Anything Worse Than A Lego For Stepping On In The Middle Of The Night?
Is there anything worse than a Lego for stepping on in the middle of the night? A landmine.
Accidents, Cars, Imagery, TargetMissed Target
Missed Target: So close…
Imagery, StoneNothing Is Written In Stone
Nothing is Written in Stone…
Animals, Dogs, Imagery, Phones, SmsTexts From My Dog
My dog sends me texts…
Australia, Games, Imagery, ReligiousThanks God
God and the Rubiks Cube…
ImageryLow Battery Warning
Plug in or find another power source. Or panic now!
Imagery, WifiWireless Networks
Wireless networks could save your life!
Animals, Elephants, ImageryIt’s Just One Of Those Days
A baby elephant falls in the mud.
America, Animals, Australia, Birds, Eagles, Imagery, RacistAmerican Bald Eagle Vs Australian Wedge Tail Eagle
American Bald Eagle vs. Australian Wedge Tail Eagle.
ImageryApostrophe, Catastrophe
Apostrophe, Catastrophe.
Australia, Imagery, Nrl, Nsw, Qld, Rugby, SportNSW Playing Economically: 2 Punches Per Gallen.
NSW playing economically. 2 punches per Gallen.
Adobe, Geeky, Imagery, UpdatesAdobe Updates
I don’t always have an update…
Geeky, Imagery, InternetSlashdot For Dummies
Slashdot for Dummies – A Reference for the Rest of Us!
Boobs, Imagery, RisquéWater Enhanced Breasts
Water Enhanced Breasts…
Animals, Dogs, ImageryDog Poo Bin
If your dog does a poo please put it in a litter bin.
Animals, Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, OttersFilthy Hobitses
Filthy Hobitses
Imagery, TattoosFree Tattoo Removal
Free (and perhaps painful) tattoo removal.
DrugsGranny LSD
Boy asks his Granny, “Have you seen my pills labelled ‘LSD’?”
ImageryProcrastination Issues
I’m taking care of my procrastination issues; just you wait and see.
Imagery, RisquéFingering A Minor
Fingering A Minor for hours on my bed.
Imagery, Sexist, WomenFeminine Instincts
If a girl ever pulls out a knife on you during an argument, pull out some bread and mayo. Her feminine instincts will kick in and she’ll make you a sandwich.
Animals, Imagery, WhalesThe Hey Whale
The Hey Whale. It defies description.
C Sharp, Developers, Geeky, Imagery, Java, ProgrammersWhy Do Java Developers Wear Glasses?
Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#!
Halloween, Imagery, Pumpkins, VegetablesAngry Pumpkin Man
Angry Pumpkin Man: Come at me bro!
Comics, Guns, Hands, ImageryHands In The Air!
Hands in the air! Now wave them around like you just don’t care!
Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, PhonesIPhone 6 Repair Kit
iPhone 6 repair kit.
Accidents, Animals, Cats, Imagery, LaddersHumans Don’t Land On Their Feet
Gee you’re right, humans don’t land on their feet.
Africa, Animals, Cats, Imagery, Lions, TouristsThe Best Photo Caption
A western woman in Africa—presumably a tourist—squats to go to the toilet in the bush, pants down, toilet paper in hand, her backpack in the grass nearby; unaware a lion is sneaking up behind her. Captioned “if she hasn’t… she will soon”.
Geology, Imagery, SchoolGeology
Name the three types of rock.
Imagery, LoveThis Summarises My Love Life
This summarises my love life. I’m the guy in blue…
Australia, Democracy, Political, RacistThe Ant And The Grasshopper
The Original Story of the Ant and the Grasshopper.
Drugs, Imagery, Marijuana, SexistI Tried Pot Once. Now I’m Gay!
I tried pot once. Now I’m gay!
Bread, Food, Imagery, TonguesPlease Use Tongue.
Do not touch bread with hands. Please use tongue.
Children, Dating, Imagery, Internet, RisquéLittle Kid Lover
I’m signing up for an online dating service. I just need to pick a username. “Little Kid Lover”, that way people will know where my priorities are at.
Alcohol, Drunk, ImagerySlur In Cursive
When I drink, I don’t slur my words… I speak in cursive.
BabiesA Baby’s Laughter Is One Of The Most Beautiful Sounds You’ll Ever Hear
A baby’s laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you’ll ever hear. Unless it’s 3 AM, you’re home alone, and you don’t have a baby.
SexistPunctuation Is Powerful.
Punctuation is powerful.
Animals, Imagery, WhalesPaper, Scissors, Whale!
Scissors cut paper again! I hate this game…
WorkExecutive Test
The following short quiz consists of four questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a “professional”…
Animals, ImageryWhat Animals Dream...
What animals dream.
Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, Nokia, PhonesIPhone 5 Plus Versus Nokia 3310
iPhone 6 Plus versus Nokia 3310: Does it bend?
SexistMars Vs. Venus
Mars versus Venus…
Imagery, PhotographyOlympus Fights Back
Olympus Fights Back: Canon versus Olympus
Apple, Imagery, Ios, Ios7, Iphone, Mobiles, PhonesThe New IPhone 5C With IOS 7
The new iPhone 5C with IOS 7.
Dates, ImageryMay The 4th Be With You
If today is “May the 4th be with you” does that mean tomorrow is “revenge of the 5th?”
Canada, RacistAn Ontarian Wanted To Become A Newfie…
An Ontarian wanted to become a Newfie…
Advertising, Food, Fountain, Imagery, Tomato Sauce, WoolworthsBuy Two & Receive A Free Fountain Face!
Buy two and receive a Free Fountain Face!
Imagery, MedicalHearing Aids
Hearing aids…
Geeky, ImageryBlackboard
School kid writing Code on blackboard as punishment.
ImageryAwkward Moment
The awkward when you already said “moment” in your head before you read it.
Imagery, ScissorsI Run With Scissors
I run with scissors: It makes me feel dangerous.
Animals, Chocolate, Easter, Easter Bunnies, Imagery, RabbitsJust Some Bunny That I Used To Know
Now you’re just some bunny that I used to know.
Imagery, Keith Urban, MusiciansKeith Urban Accepted As Genuine Humanoid
Clint Felmingham: Did you know? Keith Urban is accepted by many Americans as a genuine humanoid/musician. Urban, a polymer composite (90% polyethene, 8% alcohol, 2% minor celebrity), was manufactured in Caboolture, Australia in 1987..
America, Guns, Imagery, Police, RacistAnd I Was All Like, Pew Pew Pew!
And I was all like, pew pew pew! Pew pew pew! ‘Merica!
Animals, Dogs, Drugs, High, ImageryDog, How High Are You?
Dog, how high are you? Yes.
Imagery, Political, Politicians, Prostitutes, RisquéHonest Politician
Hi! I’m 32. I’m a politician and I’m honest. Hi. I’m 29, I’m a prostitute and I’m a virgin.
Babies, Cars, Imagery, StickersBaby On Board
Baby on Board
Alcohol, Imagery, Irish, RacistIrish Yoga
Irish Yoga.
Irish, Racist, ReligiousAn Irish Daughter Had Not Been To Her Parent's House For Over Five Years...
An Irish daughter had not been to her parent’s house for over five years…
Animals, Imagery, OttersOtter Nonsense
I’ve had it up to here with your otter nonsense…
Animals, Cats, ImageryCat In A Cat Box
A cat in a Cat box.
Flash, ImagerySteady Hand – A Game Of Skill
A game of skill, requiring a steady hand and keen eye – make sure you play at least the first two levels…
Alligators, America, Animals, Australia, Bears, Birds, Crocodiles, Europe, Imagery, Moose, Puma, Rabbits, Sharks, Snakes, SpidersMost Dangerous Animals
How people in the colonies are still alive is beyond me…
Beer, Calendars, Imagery, Mayans, Predictions2 Mayan Guys
[2 Mayan Guys] Wanna beer? I’m working on this calendar, but I guess if I don’t finish it won’t be the end of the world.
Cars, Imagery, Time TravelAnnual Meeting Of Time Travellers
Annual Meeting of Time Travellers.
ImageryKermit Sees The Doctor
Have a seat Kermit. What I’m about to tell you might come as a big shock…
Animals, Imagery, SharksFlying Sharks
Flying sharks… we’re screwed.
Einstein, Imagery, Phones, TechnologyThe Day Einstein Feared
The day that Einstein feared may have finally arrived.
Animals, Australia, Cats, Horse Racing, Horses, Imagery, Jockeys, Melbourne Cup, SportMelbourne Cup Cat Horse
Melbourne Cup Cat Horse.
Alcohol, Cooking, Imagery, WineCooking With Wine
I tried cooking supper with wine tonight. Didn’t go so well. After 5 glasses I forgot why I was even in the kitchen.
Beaches, Imagery, WomenBitches Be Trippin’
Bitches be trippin’
Bikes, ImagerySquare Bike
Surprisingly good riding down stairs… not so good on the flat.
Imagery, Self-help, SexSex Maniac
Dear Dr Ruth, I’m writing to tell you my problem. It seems I have been married to a sex maniac for the past 22 years…
SexistEvening Classes For Men
Instructive evening classes for men…
Epilepsy, Imagery, PostersSeize The Day
Seize The Day: Sign up for the Epilepsy Awareness Walk.
Acrobats, Books, ImageryAcrobat Reader
An acrobat reader…
Evolution, ImageryEvolution: Stop Following Me!
The typical “evolution of man” poster, except the man is facing his “earlier ancestors” saying “Stop following me!”
Imagery, New Years, ResolutionsNew Year’s Resolutions – Again
New Year’s Resolutions – Again
Biology, Imagery, MathBiology, Multiplication And Division
Biology – the only science where multiplication and division mean the same thing…
Animals, Cats, Geeky, ImagerySchrödinger’s Cat
Wanted: Dead & Alive…
Imagery, Tools, Work, ZombiesIn Case Of Zombies
In case of zombies… or yard work…
Guns, ImageryCrayon Gun
A fantastic gun made from many every-day items.
Facebook, ImageryFacebook Illusion
Facebook: Providing the illusion you have friends since 2004!
Animals, Eggs, Giraffes, ImageryGiraffe Egg
Giraffe Egg.
English, Etymology, Imagery, Languages, SpanishEntero Somewhere Elso
English: Do Not Enter Here; Spanish: Entero Somewhere Elso.
Animated, Illusion, Imagery, Impossible Triangle, Penrose TrianglePenrose Triangle
Penrose Triangle Animation.
Cpr, First Aid, Imagery, SchoolCPR Diagram
You’re next!
Apple, Imagery, Ios, PatentsOlden Day Slide To Unlock
Slide to unlock: Apple patent #1964022.
Geeky, ItDeclaration Of A Software Professional
Declaration of a Software Professional.
Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryDear Dog
Dear Dog… a letter from the cat.
Emergency, Imagery, Out Of OrderEmergency: Out Of Order
Please do not have an emergency!
Imagery, Signs, SpringSpring Is Here. I’m So Excited I Wet My Plants!
Spring is here. I’m so excited I wet my plants!
America, France, Ireland, Irish, Racist, RisquéThe Penis Study
The American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man’s penis was larger than the shaft…
English, Grammar, ImageryGrammar Matters
Two Google searches: One for “how can u” and one for “how can an individual”
Elderly, MemoryElderly Memories
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen…
Arguments, English, Grammar, ImageryArgument Typo
Heh I was almost forced to face the fact that my argument was bad but I see here that you made a typo hahaha tough luck pal.
Geeky, Imagery, MeditationGeek Meditation Session
In your mind’s browser, clear your cache… now delete your history… now navigate to a blank web page…
Animals, Crocodiles, ImageryCrocodile Lion
An interesting dinnertime story…
Advertising, Babies, ImageryGood Things Are Twice As Good In Cellophane
Good things are twice as good in Cellophane!
Beer, Imagery, SexistYou Never Listen To Me…
You never listen to me! You only hear what you want to hear!
Imagery, Math, PiWife Of Pi
He’s irrational and he goes on and on…
Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Internet Explorer, Mac, WindowsCan Your Mac Do This?
Can your Mac do this? I don’t think so…
Illusion, ImageryConfused Carpentry
A Carpenter’s Nightmare.
Comments & Other Similar Social Data
Comments, Facebook Open Graph, & Other Similar Social Data.
Android, Galaxy Note, Imagery, Phones, Samsung, TechnologyBattery Fully Charged. Unplug Charger.
In what is perhaps one of the more stupid “features” on my Samsung Galaxy Note, when it reaches full charge, it lights up its screen and pops up and audible alert saying “Battery fully charged. Unplug charger.” As I charge my phone at night, it is effectively an extremely annoying unwanted wake-up call.
Blonde, Cars, SexistBlondeStar
What to do when you’re locked inside your car, and the keys are outside…
Australia, Gillard, PoliticalPatriotic Retirement Plan
Ms Gillard’s Patriotic Retirement Plan.
Geeky, Imagery, Scientific, UniversityHow People In Science See Each Other
How People in Science See Each Other.
ImageryFingers Move
I think you’re spending too much time on the computer. Your fingers move when you talk…
Redneck, TechnologyTechnology For Country Folk
Technology for Country Folk.
Cars, ImageryThe Park Anywhere Button
Self-explanatory really.
Adelaide, Australia, Chairs, Disaster, Earthquake, ImageryThe 2011 Adelaide Earthquake
The 2011 Adelaide Earthquake: We will rebuild.
Religious, Risqué, WorkCorporate Lessons
Corporate lessons.
France, Imagery, North Korea, RacistFrance Surrenders To North Korea
France surrenders to North Korea
Animated, Flash, Geeky, ImageryL33t H4x0r R0m30 4nd Jul13t
Tales for the L33T - ROMEO+JULIET
Illusion, ImageryMoving Illusion
A psychedelic illusion where a brightly coloured non-moving image appears to be pulsating in and out.
Geeky, JokesIntellectual Jokes
Believing this statement will make you happier.
Africa, Bus, ImageryDo You Ever Get So Angry…
Do you ever get so angry… you throw a VCR at a burning bus?
Food, ImageryWurst Nightmare
Hi. I’m your wurst nightmare.
Books, Imagery, Lance Armstrong, LibrariesLance Armstrong Fiction Books
All non-fiction Lance Armstrong books including “Lance Armstrong: Images of a Champion”, “The Lance Armstrong Peprformance Program” and “Lance Armstrong: World’s Greatest Champion” will soon be moved to the fiction section.
Pregnancy & Women: Questions
Pregnancy & Women: Frequently Asked Questions
Geeky, JokesIP Jokes
I’d tell you a UDP joke, but you may not get it.
Cosmetics, ImageryPapercut Locator
Papercut Locator.
Illusion, ImageryIllogical Lego
Illogical Lego.
Imagery, Rallies, Sexist, WomenWhat Women Want
Who are we? Women! What do we want? We don’t know! When do we want it? NOW!
Apple, Computers, Imagery, Religious, Steve JobsHe’s Gonna Upgrade Your Tablets…
Moses, meet Steve. He’s gonna upgrade your tablets…
SexistEx Wife
The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my ex-wife…
Imagery, SportHandegg
Football versus Handegg: It’s not football…
America, Imagery, RacistAmerican Measures
American Measures: An Arbitrary Retarded Rollercoaster
Animals, Imagery, RisquéOld Style Birth Control
Old Style Birth Control.
Cars, Imagery, RacingTimes Were Tough Before The GoPro
Times were tough before the GoPro…
Animals, Imagery, RacoonsOh… Hi… Umm… Meow?
Oh… hi… Umm… meow?
Comics, Dancing, Imagery, Ireland, Irish, Irish DanceThe Book Of Irish Dance: Volume Two
Whilst doing a long overdue clearout at the offices of Ireland’s oldest and most respected school of dance, Mrs O’Hara made a terrible discovery…
Geeky, MusicWhat If The Beatles Had Been Computer Freaks?
What if the Beatles had been computer freaks?
Animals, Antelopes, ImageryDid You Know There Is A Species Of Antelope Capable Of Jumping Higher Than The Average House?
Did you know there is a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house? This is due to its powerful hind legs and the fact that the average house cannot jump.
Imagery, Jokes, Paper, Puns, SignsTearable Puns
These are tearable puns.
Beer, Imagery, RacistHow People From Around The World Open Beer
People from around the world opening beer in their own unique ways.
Bananas, Food, Imagery, PhonesBanana Phone
It’s a banana phone…
Animals, Cats, Ducks, Imagery, SeagullsCat Duck
The Amazing Cat Duck! Or perhaps Cat Seagull?
Engineering, Flowcharts, Geeky, ImageryEngineering Flowchart
Nothing duct tape and WD-40 can’t fix…
Babies, Imagery, RisquéI Will Deprive You Of Sex
I will deprive you of sex all night with my crying and then suck on your wife’s tits in the morning.
SexistMen Vs. Women
Men versus women…
Cars, Imagery, TrucksDriver Is Fully Naked
Driver carries less than $50 cash and is fully naked.
Animals, Chocolate, Dogs, Heaven, ImageryA Dog Dies: Can I Have Chocolate?
A dog dies and finds out chocolate killed him.
New Zealand, RacistKiwi Air Disaster
New Zealand’s worst air disaster occurred earlier today…
Sexist, WorkDon’t Copy If You Can’t Paste
Don’t copy if you can’t paste…
Imagery, Jobs, WorkHonesty: Your Greatest Weakness
Interviewer: What would you consider to be your greatest weakness?
Advertising, Australia, Billboards, CarsRAC Roadside Assistance Meltdown
You don’t want to be stuck out here.
Accidents, Cars, ImagerySorry: A Bus Accident
Sorry: A Bus Accident
Advertising, Imagery, Rice, Risqué, Sexist, VintageVa-Rice-Ity: My Man Likes Something Unexpected…
My man likes something unexpected now and then. That’s why I serve him rice.
Computer Games, ImageryVideo Games Don’t Make Us Violent – Lag Does!
Video games don’t make us violent – lag does!
Imagery, Memory, Protests, RalliesBetter Memory
What do we want? Better memory! When do we want it? Want what?
Animals, Imagery, RacistBlack Bears
Uh oh Howard. Looks like this area has black bears…
Computer Games, Computers, ImageryPlay Outside
It’s a beautiful day. I really want you to go outside and play.
Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, PhonesIPhone 6 Comparison
iPhone 6 Plus Comparison.
Breakfast, ImageryHow Did You Get In My House?
If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple “Thank you” is all I need. Not all this “How did you get in my house?” business.
Children, Cleaning, Imagery, MopsStupid Child Efficiency Mop
Stupid Child Efficiency Mop. Wipe high-efficiently.
Computers, GeekyUnix Commands
Amusing UNIX commands.
ImageryCute Party Trick
Man with finger up nose and out of eye.
Children, Imagery, ParentingAn Angry Child
If she doesn’t put me down in about two seconds, I will be forced to use my fist!
ImageryCockroach Cancer
Please, don’t throw your cigarette butts on the floor…
Australia, Bbq, Cooking, Food, SexistBarbecue Etiquette
Aussie Barbecue Season.
Money, SexistFemale Financial Planning
Women are so much better at financial planning than men.
Cars, ImageryAbove The Law Like A Boss
Above the law like a boss: removing a wheel clamp.
The Poodle And The Leopard
Experience trumps youth.
Animals, ImagerySeven Sharks
If you own 7 cats then people will think you’re crazy…
Animals, Boobs, Imagery, SlothsLook At This Boob
Look at this boob. This is a nice boob.
Alphabet, Doctors, ImageryThe Medical Alphabet
The Medical Alphabet
Pages By Date
A list of all the pages, sorted by their last updated or creation dates.
Hammer, ImageryStop! Hammer Time
Stop! Hammer Time!
Imagery, RisquéAncient Japanese Proverb
Ancient Japanese Proverb. If you cannot understand Japanese, tilt your head to the right…
ImageryMartha Stewart’s New Digs
Martha Stewart’s New Digs
Christian, Imagery, Jewish, Muslim, RacistAn Atheist, A Jew, And A Christian Walk Into A Bar…
An atheist, a Jew, and a Christian walk into a bar…
Illusion, ImageryAfterburn - Whom Do You See?
Relax and concentrate on the four small dots in the middle of the picture…
Imagery, RisquéFlower Porn
Even flowers do it…
ImageryCharlie Sheen For Halloween
No, you can’t be Charlie Sheen for Halloween.
George Bush, Imagery, Iran, Political, Weapons Of Mass Destruction, WmdI Can’t Believe The “WMD” Trick Is Working Again With Iran
I can’t believe the “WMD” trick is working again with Iran. Suckers…
Boobs, Cars, Imagery, Risqué, SexistShe Might Scratch The Paint
I know what you’re thinking… she might scratch the paint.
Animals, Imagery, KangaroosI Said Be Quiet! Don’t Make Me Come In There!
I said be quiet! Don’t make me come in there!
English, VegetablesThe Correct Way To Spell Potato
The correct way to spell potato is “GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU”.
Boobs, Imagery, RisquéBoob Staring
Shirt: Please tell your boobs to quit staring at my eyes.
Apple, Imagery, Ipad, Portal, Technology, ValveValve’s “Portal”, As An IPad Decoration.
Valve’s “Portal”, as an iPad decoration.
Advertising, Imagery, Men, Sexist, SignsThis Year Thousands Of Men Will Die From Stubbornness…
This year thousands of men will die from stubbornness. No we won’t.
Computers, Geeky, ImageryWhenever I Have To Force Shutdown
Whenever I have to force shutdown.
Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery, SexistXBOX Girlfriend
A real girlfriend does not complain when her boyfriend is on his xbox…
Darth Vader, Imagery, Kristen StewartMore Expressions Than Kristen Stewart
Still more expressions than Kristen Stewart.
English, Grammar, QuotationsAmusing Quotes & One-Liners
Amusing Quotes & One-Liners.
Imagery, Risqué, SignsNo Public Motor Boating Permitted
No public motor boating permitted.
Alcohol, Food, Imagery, VodkaVodka Diet: Lose 3 Days In 1 Week
Vodka Diet: Lose 3 Days in 1 Week.
Advertising, Boobs, Imagery, Sexist, VintageSabrina Projects
Sabrina demonstrates the world’s finest projection equipment…
Police, RisquéPanties
Policewoman: Anything you say will be taken down!
Australia, Chairs, Disaster, Earthquake, Imagery, MelbourneThe 2012 Melbourne Earthquake
The 2012 Melbourne Earthquake: We will rebuild.
Drawings, Imagery, SignsDraw Bridge
A man drawing a bridge at a “draw bridge” sign.
Imagery, Phones, Risqué, SexPhone Sex
Phone Sex. You’re doing it wrong.
Alcohol, Beer, Imagery, WineIn Wine There Is Truth
In Wine there is Truth. In Beer there is Strength. In Water there is Bacteria.
Computers, Geeky, ItComputer Quotes
Computer quotes.
Balloons, Birthdays, ImageryBalloons Are So Weird…
Balloons are so weird… “Happy Birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath”
April Fools, Imagery, Pizza, Salad, WorkThis Is How Workplace Violence Starts
This is how workplace violence starts…
Redheads, SexistRedheads
How do you get a redhead…
ImageryFight Apathy
…or don’t.
Animals, Carrots, Food, Imagery, Rabbits, VegetablesSuccess Is Not Always What You See
Success is not always what you see…
Animals, Books, Dolphins, Imagery, LibrariesTo Punch A Dolphin In The Mouth
5 very good reasons to punch a dolphin in the mouth.
Advertising, Feminine Hygiene, Imagery, Sexist, VintagePlease, Dave… Please Don’t Let Me Be Locked Out From You!
Please, Dave… please don’t let me be locked out from you! For complete feminine hygiene rely on Lysol – a concentrated germ-killer!
Babies, ImageryDraw Fake Eyebrows On Your Baby
Draw fake eyebrows on your baby. Then sit back and enjoy the humour.
Geeky, ImageryVoice
Scrooge and Donald on IRC.
Drugs, Food, ImageryEminem Drug Bust
Eminem Drug Bust.
Ice Cream, ImageryI Scream Cone
I Scream Cone.
Food, Geeky, ImageryLOL For Lunch
Ordering linguini for lunch always boosts morale.
Alcohol, ImageryAlcohol Research
Bum holding sign “Need Cash for Alcohol Research”.
JokesComplimentary Pretzels
A guy walks into a bar and takes a seat. Before he can order a beer, the bowl of pretzels in front of him says “Hey, you’re a handsome fellow.”
Imagery, Movies, PiratesHorny Pirate’s Worst Nightmare
What’s a horny pirate’s worst nightmare?
Animals, Animated, Bananas, Cats, ImageryCat & Banana
The cat and the banana.
Batman, Imagery, Iphone, Phones, SmsI’m Batman
SMS conversation between Tim and Batman.
Dishes, ImageryDishes
Dishes: They don’t do themselves.
Animals, Cupcakes, Food, Imagery, LemursA Lemur Who Has Discovered The Wondrousness Of Cupcakes For The Fist Time.
A lemur who has discovered the wondrousness of cupcakes for the fist time.
Ice, Imagery, MindpowerMelt Ice With My Mind
I can melt ice with my mind… just give me a few minutes…
SexistA Love Story With A Happy Ending
Once upon a time, a bloke asked a girl “Will you marry me?”
Cars, Imagery, StickersF It
F-it
Geeky, ImageryIPad Stone
iPad versus a stone.
Illusion, ImageryCrazy Sphere
A crazy sphere
Computer Games, Imagery, MarioIt’s A-me, Mario!
Mario emerging from a drainpipe.
Disclaimer, Copyright & Contact Information
Feel free to send me anything you think might amuse me.
Animals, ImageryWireless Technology
“It is a bit freaky with this wireless technology”
Dyslexia, Imagery, Sex, Shirts, TshirtsI Have Sex Daily
I have sex daily! I mean dyslexia! Fcuk.
Bathrooms, Imagery, SignsYou Look Fine
Instead of a mirror, a sign “you look fine”.
PoliticalMerry Christmas & A Happy New Year
Merry Christmas & A Happy New Year.
Artists, Justin Bieber, MusiciansDear Justin Bieber Haters
I owe my life to Justin Bieber…
All Your Base, Geeky, Imagery, InternetAll Your Base...
All your base are belong to us.
Books, Imagery, Racist, ShopsWong Fook Hing Book Store
If you cannot find the book that you are looking for, then you’re obviously in the… Wong Fook Hing Book Store!
Imagery, Unicorns, Unicycles, UnitardsUnicorn, Unitard, Unicycle
Unicorn in a unitard on a unicycle.
Crocs, Imagery, Shoes, WeddingsWedding Crocs
Wedding Crocs.
Geeky, Imagery, Ninjas, Pirates, ZombiesSurvival Tracking Guide
The Pirate, the Ninja, & the Zombie…
Apple, Apples, Computers, Food, Imagery, Laptops, TechnologyMake Your Own Apple Laptop
Make your own Apple laptop the cheap—and healthy—way!
Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, Sweaters, VintageMen Are Better Than Women!
Indoors, women are useful — even pleasant. On a mountain they are something of a drag. So don’t go hauling them up a cliff…
SexistMen Are Happier
Men are Happier: What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Advertising, Guns, Imagery, Revolvers, VintageIsn’t It Time You Gave Yourself A Christmas Gift?
Isn’t it time you gave yourself a Christmas Gift?
Animals, Giraffes, ImageryLet’s Get You Home Buddy
Two giraffe having problems getting home.
Grammar, SpellingYou Read That Wrong
That awkward moment when you read that wrong…
Animals, Geeky, Imagery, Math, SnakesSnakes On A Plane
Snakes on a plane.
Boobs, Bsod, Computers, Fashion, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, Sexist, Shirts, Windows, WomenI Love My BSOD
Perhaps the only blue screen of death geeks would be happy to see.
Geeky, RisquéEUNUCH Programmer's Manual - CONDOM(1)
The EUNUCH Programmer's Manual - CONDOM(1)
Animals, Cats, ImageryCat Bag
It’s a cat bag. Not too sure what else to say about this…
Corporate, Geeky, ImageryPatent Infringement
Eating Fruit…
Apple, Computers, Geeky, Linux, Mac, WindowsHow To Fix Any Computer
A comprehensive guide to fixing any computer.
Books, Imagery, Sexist“Understanding Women” Now Available In Paperback
The book “Understanding Women” is now available in paperback!
Geeky, InternetDiary Of An AOL Luser
Diary of an AOL Luser.
Risqué, Sexist, WorkSentence Structure: Why Sentence Structure Is Important
Sentence Structure: Why sentence structure is important.
Animals, Gorillas, Imagery, King Kong, Mobiles, Phones, VodafoneNo Signal
The “Vodafone Effect”.
Blonde, SexistBlonde Betting
A very attractive blonde woman arrived at a Vegas casino…
Fifteen Things To Do At The Supermarket…
Fifteen things to do at the supermarket while your spouse is taking their sweet time…
Bipolar, Graffiti, Imagery, SignsBipolar Awesome
I hate being bi-polar. It’s awesome.
Animals, Cats, Glasses, ImageryBut These Are For Girls
But these are for girls… Holy Crap! I look fabulous!
Animals, Imagery, OctopusesDrunk Octopus Wants To Fight
Drunk Octopus Wants to Fight…
Animals, Imagery, Spiders, ZombiesZombie Apocalypse Spider
I laugh at your claims to bravely take on a zombie apocalypse, when most of you can’t stand up to a spider.
Geeky, InternetAmusing Chat
Humour from the world of Internet Chat
Animals, Animated, Hamsters, ImageryHamster Flying
How to make your hamster fly…
Animals, Imagery, SealsSeal The Deal
What do you say we go behind this rock and seal the deal?
Australia, Condoms, New Zealand, Racist, RisquéKiwi Condoms
Australia runs out of condoms…
Animals, Golf, Imagery, Sport, TurtlesWorld’s Largest Golf Ball
World’s largest golf ball. Gigantic turtle for scale.
Australia, Cricket, Imagery, VideoHow Cricket Looks To Most People
How Cricket Looks to Most People.
Animals, Dogs, ImageryFree Puppy
Free puppy…
English, ImageryYou You Read The First Line Wrong?
What if I told you you read the first line wrong?
Cars, ImageryHonked At A Prius
Honked at a Prius, scared the crap out of it.
Geeky, InternetCannot Find The Damn File
Cannot find the damn file…
Animals, Cats, Ducks, Imagery, Robots, Sharks, VacuumsRobot Vacuum Cat Shark Duck Chase
Robot Vacuum Cat Shark Duck Chase.
Animals, Boats, Fish, Fishing, ImageryGive A Man A Fish And He Has Food For A Day
Give a man a fish and he has food for a day. Teach a man to fish and he has to buy bamboo rods, graphite reels, monofilament lines, neoprene waders, creels, tackleboxes, lures, flies, spinners, worm rigs, slip sinkers, offset hooks, gore-tex hats, 20 pocket vests, fish finders, depth sounders, radar, boats, trailers, global positioning systems, coolers and six-packs.
Aboriginal, Australia, Imagery, Racist, The RockStolen Generator
So I heard about the stolen generation…
SexistAustralia And Mateship
Mateship amongst Men & Women: The differences…
Imagery, SexistAlways Love A Woman For Her Personality
Always love a woman for her personality. They have like 10, so you can choose.
RisquéThe Hypnotist
It was entertainment night at the senior centre and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill…
PoliticalLabel Instructions
French Label Instructions
ImagerySuperman’s Social Network Nightmare
Superman’s Social Network Nightmare.
Animals, Birds, Imagery, Missing Posters, Paper, Pigeons, PostersHave You Seen This Bird?
I met this bird by the tree near the library. We chilled for like, 5 minutes, & then without any warning he just flew away. We really hit it off. So if you see him, please let him know I miss him.
SexistA Woman’s Wish
A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods…
Animals, Animated, Giraffes, ImageryHidden Giraffe
If you stare at this picture long enough you should be able to see a giraffe…
Animals, Dogs, ImageryI Forgot How To Dog
I forgot how to dog
America, Calendars, Imagery, Mayans, Obama, Political, PredictionsThe Mystery Of The Mayan Calendar Revealed
At last, the mystery of the Mayan calendar revealed.
Earth, Imagery, Risqué, Solar SystemDon’t Masturbate
Don’t Masturbate!
Imagery, Shirts, Tourettes, TshirtsWhat Do We Want? A Cure For Tourettes!
What do we want? A cure for tourettes! When do we want it? …
Cats, Comics, ImageryPop Out Of Bed
If people were meant to pop out of bed we’d all sleep in toasters.
Imagery, Seniors, WarDrafting Guys Over 60
New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!
Geeky, Imagery, Movies, The MatrixThe Matrix
What is The Matrix?
Boats, Fishing, Imagery, Logan, RacistFishing, Logan Style
Fishing, Logan Style.
ImageryI See Dumb People
I see dumb people… They are everywhere!
ImageryProof That Not Knowing Everything Is The Best Way To Go
Proof that not knowing everything is the best way to go.
English, Grammar, ImageryComforting A Grammar Nazi
When comforting a grammar nazi, I always say softly, “there, their, they’re”
Animals, Imagery, LlamaA Shaved Llama
A shaved Llama
RisquéMickey Mouse
One day, Mickey Mouse decided that he wanted a divorce…
Geeky, Imagery, Movies, Star WarsStar Wars
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…
RisquéTemptation
Temptation, by a soon to be married man.
Brooms, Imagery, Parking, Sexist, Witches, WomenWomen Can’t Park
Who said that women can’t park?
The World’s Shortest Books
The World’s Shortest Books
English, GrammarEnglish
Let’s face it - English is a crazy language.
Animals, Bunnies, Imagery, RabbitsEmo Bunny
Emo bunny: No one ever understands him
ImagerySense
…this picture makes none.
ImagerySteady Hand – The Results
Steady Hand – The Results (or what happens when you play Steady Hand)
America, Imagery, Nsa, Obama, Phones, SpyingObama: “Aww No! Both Of You Hang Up!”
Her: “Ok, you hang up.” Him: “No, you hang up.” Her: “Haha, no you hang up.” Obama: “Aww no! Both of you hang up!”
Sexist, WomenWhen A Woman Says “what?”
When a woman says “what?”, it’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
SexistMen Are Like...
Men are like…
Imagery, RacistHow To Be Black
How to be Black: An Instructional Book.
Aboriginal, Australia, Gay, RacistAboriginal Jobs
At the end of a tiny, deserted bar is a huge Aboriginal bloke…
Dba, Geeky, Imagery, SqlDBA/SQL Humour
An SQL query walks into a bar, goes up to two tables and asks, “May I join you?”
Computers, Geeky, ItStar Trek TNG Meets Microsoft
Star Trek TNG Meets Microsoft…
Imagery, PunsThe Highest Form Of Flattery
Plateaus: The highest form of flattery.
Geeky, ImageryOhm
…ohm.
America, Imagery, Political, SpyingMy Computer Hard Drive Crashed. NSA Won’t Send Me Their Backup Copy.
My computer hard drive crashed. NSA won’t send me their backup copy.
ImageryElephant Bone
…just to confuse future archaeologists.
Imagery, SexistHair Dryer
Darling, please give me the hair dryer…
Computers, ImageryInsert Disk Two
Please insert disk two.
ImageryFurniture Training
Furniture training for one of their main purposes in life…
Alcohol, Holidays, Imagery, WineHoliday Workout
Holiday Workout: Three corkscrews.
Darth Vader, ImageryBreathe Right
Darth Vader going for some Breathe Right.
Children, ParentingWhy Parents Drink
Why parents drink.
CatsHappy Pussy
A collection of amusing cat pictures.
Animals, RisquéDoctor Bob Had Sex With One Of His Patients…
Doctor Bob had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long…
Australia, Brisbane, Computer Games, Explosions, Guns, Imagery, PoliceBrisbane, GTA Style
Queen Street Mall, Brisbane, GTA Style.
WorkHow To Get A Day Off Work
How to get time off in the public service…
America, Democracy, Imagery, TvWelcome To The USA
The Government where the money’s made up and the debt doesn’t matter.
Australia, Iraq, PoliticalThe Australian Constitution: For Iraq
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq…
Animals, Animated, Imagery, PenguinsPenguin Falls
Penguin falling on ice.
Alcohol, Beer, Fitness, ImageryI Wonder What I Would Look Like With A Six Pack?
I wonder what I would look like with a six pack? Ahh, much better!
Communist, Computer Games, Geeky, ImageryA Case In Communism: The Super Mario Story
A Case in Communism: The Super Mario Story.
Imagery, Shirts, TshirtsAttention Deficit Disorder
Ask me about my attention deficit disorder or pie or my cat. A dog. I have a bike. Do you like TV? I saw a rock. Hi.
Food, Imagery, TurkeyRoast Turkey With A Doll Head
I was watching TV when I head my Dad in the kitchen laughing to himself. When I got up to see what he was doing, I walked in on this…
Aboriginal, Australia, RacistAboriginal Spongebob Spotted In Cairns
Aboriginal Spongebob spotted in Cairns.
Animals, Cats, Imagery, Snow, SnowballsThe Cat & The Snowball
The Cat & the Snowball.
Board Games, Games, ImageryGroup Therapy
…is not going to make Q any less of a hated letter.
Australia, Buses, Explosions, Imagery, InalaSorry For Party Rocking
Sorry for Party Rocking: Driver jumps from burning bus, party bus explodes in Inala.
Notice
Notice is hereby given…
Animals, Australia, Imagery, KoalasEucalyptus Leaves Cause Hallucinations
The **** do you mean eucalyptus leaves cause hallucinations? I gotta tell my unicorn about this.
RisquéSanta’s Stressful Christmas
Santa’s Stressful Christmas
Chat, Imagery, InternetChat Rooms
Chat Rooms – you never really know.
Babies, ImageryNow Airtight
Now airtight… to prevent aging!
Animated, Geeky, Imagery, PhotoshopAdobe Photoshop CS6 Has Stopped Working
The realest photography struggle ever…
ImageryStatistics That Matter: The Pie Chart
A new take on the traditional pie… chart.
Illusion, ImageryShake Your Head
Shake your head
Sexist, WomenWords Women Use
Words women use, and what they really mean.
Grammar, Imagery, TomorrowTomorrow (noun)
Tomorrow (noun): a mystical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation and achievement is stored.
Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, VintageHappier With A Hoover
Christmas morning she’ll be happier with a Hoover.
Fruit, Grapes, ImageryBeware The Grapes Of Wrath
Beware the Grapes of Wrath.
Advertising, Clothing, Fashion, Imagery, SexistWhy Men Die Before Women
Why men die before women.
Animals, Birds, Imagery, Owls, RegretsRegrets
I stay up late every night, and realise it’s a bad idea every morning.
Australia, Imagery, Racist, Tintin, WynnumThe Adventures Of TinTin: TinTin In Wynnum
The Adventures of TinTin: TinTin in Wynnum.
Imagery, Real EstateLaminated Room
List of reasons why a room would have to contain a bucket and be almost entirely laminated: 1) Bad reasons.
Imagery, Risqué, SexistInteresting ATM
Man using a sexually provocative ATM.
Advertising, Billboards, ImageryThere Are Two Rules For Success
There are two rules for success: Never reveal everything you know…
Animals, Dogs, ImageryDog Queue
Sometimes, even dogs have to queue…
ImageryI’m So Sick Of Not Being Understood!
I’m so sick of not being understood! What do you mean?
Animals, Bugs, Flies, Imagery, Joke, MitesHey, Bug On My Back…
Hey, bug on my back, are you a mite? I mite be. Stupidest pun I ever heard…
Imagery, MathImaginary Friend
Aww, how cute. He has an imaginary friend!
Australia, History, RacistA Brief History Of Australia
Australia was founded in 1901 by Jimmy “Crocodile” Austral, a deportee of England who was banished for cannibalism, having eaten 32 members of the House of Lords. In accordance with English colonial law, this entitled him to an entire already-inhabited continent.
Imagery, Psychotherapists, SignsPsycho The Rapist
Psycho the Rapist It’s one word George!
Cling-wrap, Imagery, WorkCling-wrap Fun
Cling-wrap fun.
Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, Microsoft OfficeMicrosoft Office Suite Pass Key
Does anyone have an extra Microsoft Office suite pass key?
Homework, Imagery, SchoolSelf Referencing Homework
What has been your greatest accomplishment so far?
Food, ImageryI Love The Smell Of Pixel In The Morning
I Love the Smell of Pixel in the Morning…
Animals, Ducklings, Ducks, ImageryBeware Of Cute Duckling Scam
Beware of Cute Duckling Scam…
Australia, New Zealand, RacistAn Aussie Taxidermist In New Zealand…
An Aussie Taxidermist in New Zealand…
Blackjack, Cards, Games, ImageryBlack Jack Black
Black Jack Black eating Cracker Jack playing a black jack while playing BlackJack with Jack Black who is threatening Black Jack Black with a Black Jack.
Imagery, PoliceA Cop Just Pulled Me Over And Said “Papers”
A cop just pulled me over and said “Papers”… so I said “Scissors, I win” and drove off…
Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, MsnMSN Shuts Down
We reminisce about “the good old days” of MSN…
InvisibleYou Can See Me?
Next time a stranger talks to me when I’m alone I will look at them shocked and just whisper quietly, “you can see me?”
Art, Geeky, ImageryNational Portrait Gallery
National Portrait Gallery. National Landscape Gallery…
Imagery, Iphone, Phones, Romance, SmsThe Modern Day Romantic
Goodnight my beautiful girl I’m so lucky to have you in my life. I love you so much <3
Olympics, Racist, SportAthens Olympic Soccer Stadium
The Athens Olympic Stadium…
Cars, Imagery, PetrolThe Bank Account Gas Ratio
The depressing ratio between your bank account, and your gas tank.
ImagerySmile
Smile…
Dads, Imagery, Jokes, Phones, SmsSometimes I Sit On The Floor And Put My Arms Around My Knees And Lean Forward
Dad: Sometimes I sit on the floor and put my arms around my knees and lean forward. Daughter: Huh? Dad: Cuz that’s how I roll!
Animals, Imagery, SpidersLet’s All Take A Moment And Be Thankful That Spiders Don’t Fly.
Let’s all take a moment and be thankful that spiders don’t fly!
Animals, Dogs, ImageryA Little Hand
I wish you could give me a little hand…
Babies, Drinking, Imagery, Studying, The RockWhat Are Your Plans For The Weekend?
What are your plans for the weekend? Studying. [shocked look] Drinking! Drinking!
Imagery, WifiBasic Human Needs
Basic human needs… like Wi-Fi.
Computer Games, ImageryVideo Games Ruined My Life
Video games ruined my life. Good thing I have two more.
Animals, Cats, Dogs, JokeWoof
How do you get a cat to bark like a dog?
Bricks, Footpaths, Imagery, OcdOCD Bricks
The worst thing that can happen to an OCD person…
Imagery, MoviesNeville
Neville would have done it in four books.
Betas, Bugs, Calendars, Cartoons, Imagery, MayansMayan’s Beta Calendar Bug
…to get to the point; why does your calendar end in 2012? Oh, that’s just a temporary problem in the beta version!
Boats, Imagery, Rowing, WarRow Row Row Your Boat
Row row row your boat. Shut up Carl.
Imagery, Mexico, RacistMexico’s National Sport
What is Mexico’s national sport? Cross country.
Harry Potter, Imagery, Magic, Risqué, WandsReplace The Word “wand” With “dick” In Any Sentence In Harry Potter
Replace the word “wand” with “dick” in any sentence in Harry Potter…
Animals, Art, Bananas, Carving, Food, Horses, ImageryBanana Carving
Banana Carving.
Animals, Cats, ImageryPlease Don’t Let The Cat Out. No Matter What It Tells You!
Please don’t let the cat out. No matter what it tells you!
ImageryVegetative State
Vegetative State.
Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryAnimals That Didn’t Expect Their Humans To Come Home So Early!
Animals that didn’t expect their humans to come home so early!
Animals, Cats, Cockroaches, Dogs, Imagery, Men, WomenThe Circle Of Life
The Circle of Life: Who is afraid of who?
Risqué, Sexist, ViagraDealing With Hunger Pangs
A woman asks her partner at breakfast time, “Would you like some bacon and eggs a slice of toast and, maybe, some grapefruit juice and coffee?”
Imagery, WorkMeetings
The practical alternative to work.
Animals, ImageryJust Checking
“Just doing a spot-check to see what you’re doing… Yup, sitting at your computer again!” The expression on this ostrich’s face is excellent.
Football, Relationships, Sexist, SportThe Loving Husband
A man had two of the best tickets for the opening State of Origin match. As he sits down, another man comes along and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him…
Babies, Children, Daycare, Imagery, Logan, RacistLogan Daycare
Logan Daycare: Just for the whole day
Alcohol, Imagery, SexistLet’s Go For A Drink…
Goldstar Beer Ads: What goes through the mind of men and women when they’re asked to go for a drink…
Roadwork, Shovels, WorkersWe Forgot Our Shovels
A road crew foreman calls into the shop. Foreman: “We have a problem.”
Accidents, Animals, Canada, Imagery, Moose, News, TvCanadian News
Canadian News: Quebec snowmobiler dies after driving under a moose.
Hands, Imagery, Risqué, Valentine’s DayValentine Hand
Of course I’ll be your valentine. Let’s stay home and watch some porn.
ImageryCaution: Door May Open
Caution: Door May Open.
English, GrammarParaprosdokians
Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.
Imagery, PinterestIf You Like It Then You Shoulda Put A Pin On It
If you like it then you shoulda put a pin on it!
America, Capitalist, ImageryIn Capitalist America…
Bank robs you!
GeekySpellcheck Not Needed
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy…
Animals, Imagery, RaccoonsGet Well Soon
A raccoon lies dead on the road, holding a “get well soon” balloon.
Animals, Cats, DogsCats And Dogs
As seen in a dog’s diary…
GeekyIf Dr Seuss Was A Technical Writer
If Dr Seuss Was A Technical Writer.
Animals, Birds, Imagery, Notices, Parrots, SignsParrot BBQ
Parrot Lost: Parrot BBQ!
Beer, ChartsBeer Troubleshooting Chart
Beer Troubleshooting Chart.
ToysThe Horror Of Blimps
Some blimps are better off dead…
Animals, Bananas, Birds, Food, Imagery, ParrotsBanana Parrot Terrorism
A parrot eating bananas.
Comics, Imagery, Movies, WorkPopular Sayings #38
Dress for the job you want, not the one you have.
Apple, Bill Gates, Computers, Heaven, Imagery, Microsoft, Phones, Religious, Steve Jobs, WindowsSteve Jobs & Bill Gates Discuss Heaven
Steve Jobs & Bill Gates Discuss Heaven: It doesn’t have any wall or fence…
Image, Qut, UniversityQUT: University For The Real World
Will we find intelligent life?
Chess, Feminists, Imagery, Sexist, WomenHow To Play Chess
How to Play Chess: Whites go first. The Queen must protect the King.
Fonts, Imagery, Running, Sport, Usain BoltUsain Bold, Usain Italic
Usain Bolt: Usain Bold, Usain Italic.
ImageryPositive For Coke
You’re fired Jack, the lab results just came back and you tested positive for Coke.
Imagery, SexistRealistic Remotes
Some more useful remote controls we would like to see.
Batman, Imagery, WikileaksWikileaks
Bruce Wayne!
Animals, Dogs, ImageryAchilles’ Heel
You got a dog?! Yup! His name is Achilles…
Australia, France, Imagery, Racist, RisquéAustralian Kiss
Australian Kiss: same as a French Kiss… but down under.
Animals, Birds, Imagery, Mirrors, ParrotsTap That
I’d tap that!
Computers, GeekyMessage From Your IT Deptartment
Message from your IT Deptartment…
Bananas, Food, Imagery, SausagesBanana Sausage
Banana sausage…
Guns, Imagery, Mp3, Mp4, Mp5Well, That Escalated Quickly
Well, that escalated quickly.
Imagery, MusicI’m Not Just Another Brick In The Wall
We don’t need no education…
Cars, Imagery, MoviesDiesel
Hey, wanna know what I put in my car?
Imagery, ReligiousBelieve In Reincarnation
Yeah, well, I didn’t believe in reincarnation when I was your age, either.
Computer Games, Education, Games, Imagery, Internet, Minecraft, School, TestsMinecraft: Create A Simple Door
Describe a process that could be used to create a simple door.
Internet, RisquéCybersex How-Not-To
Cybersex how it should not be…
Babies, Imagery, PregnancyHow Babies Are Made
How babies are made (with an air pump).
Animals, Imagery, SharksShark! What?
Shark! What?
Babies, Court, Imagery, Jail, Judges3 Years In Jail For Stealing My Nose
3 years in jail for stealing my nose!
AudioTelstra Customer Service
An insight into the Telstra Customer Service Experience.
Imagery, Phones, SmsStreet Name
Hey, what’s your street name?
Facebook, ImageryBe The First Of Your Friends To Like This Post.
A post with a poster on it, “Be the first of your friends to like this post”.
WorkPhysical Fitness
This department requires no physical fitness program.
Comics, ImageryThe Street Is Closed
Oh no—we’re trapped in here. The street is closed.
Jewish, RacistBacon Tree
Back in cowboy times, a westbound wagon train was lost and low on food…
Animals, Dogs, ImageryA Dog Named Stay
I bought a dog once. Named him ‘Stay’…
Birds, Imagery, WifiHe’s Got Wifi
Three birds sitting on a wire, a fourth sitting in mid air. He's got wifi.
Animals, Imagery, TurtlesYou’ll Never Be As Happy As This Turtle
You’ll never be as happy as this turtle.
Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, PhonesIPhone 6: Bend It Like Beckham
iPhone 6: Bend it like Beckham.
Cars, ImagerySomething Wrong Officer?
Something wrong officer?
PoliticalOrdering Pizza In The Year 2025
Ordering pizza in the year 2025…
Imagery, WaterThe Deadly Facts About Water
The Deadly Facts about Water
Imagery, SocksThe Divorce Rate Among My Socks Is Astonishing.
The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.
Animals, Joke, PigsThree Little Piggies
Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night…
Illusion, ImageryHinton’s “Lilac Chaser”
The Dotty Illusion…
Imagery, Ipad, IphoneFree IPhone To IPad Upgrade
Free iPhone to iPad Upgrade
Animals, Cats, Imagery, WorkI Used To Smile… Until I Worked Retail.
I used to smile… until I worked retail.
Imagery, Risqué, SupermanSuper Boner
Super-boner: A super problem.
Capitalism, Imagery, PoliticalSuffering From Capitalism
Feeling sad and depressed? Are you anxious? Worried about the future? Feeling isolated and alone? You might be suffering from Capitalism.
Imagery, Joke, Mayans, PredictionsMayan Joke Set-Up
Heh… I’ve just thought of a joke with the longest set-up ever! Cool! I’ll fetch a scribe…
Imagery, Risqué, SexSex Tape
I made a sex tape. Shhh!
Children, Parenting, SchoolLetter To A Mother / School Report
It is with great happiness that I’m telling you that I eloped with my new boyfriend…
Evolution, Imagery, ZombiesZombie Evolution
The evolution of Zombies
America, Imagery, Mexico, RacistBorderline Offensive
You can make jokes about anything, just not Mexicans…
Bananas, Food, Imagery, ZucchinisGreen Banana
Green banana…
Stress, WorkStress Management
A stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological texts.
Accidents, Helmets, Imagery, Jamaica, Motorbikes, Risqué, SexistWhat’s The Main Reason For Motorbike Accidents In Jamaica?
What’s the main reason for motorbike accidents in Jamaica?
ImageryMicrophone Eyes
Microphone Eyes.
Imagery, Risqué, SignsPlease Use Finger
Pen is broken - please use finger.
Children, Grace, Prayers, ReligiousSix Year Old Praying
A mother invited some people to dinner…
AudioPsychiatric Answering Machine
A Psychiatric Office Answering Machine.
Animals, Chickens, Eggs, Imagery, SignsBoneless Chicken
Boneless Chicken
Canada, Imagery, Protests, RiotsCanadian Riots
Canadian Riots: Sorry to bother you, but perhaps you should take a break as our mayor?
ImageryBird Flu
I’m not worried about this bird flu…
Imagery, Motorbikes, RisquéSexy Motorbike
I am not too sure what to say about this…
Explosions, Guns, ImageryTold Her Not To Brag About Her Barbie Dream House…
Told her not to brag about her barbie dream house…
Geeky, ImageryDrowning, LOL!
If you see someone drowning… LOL!
Imagery, Winnie The PoohPooh Everywhere
Watch your step, there’s pooh everywhere!
Imagery, PhonesPhone Tails
That’s right dear, our ancestors had tails.
Cars, Drugs, Imagery, PoliceHow High Are You?
How High Are You? No Officer, it’s “Hi, how are you”.
Australia, Games, Imagery, MonopolyAustralian Monopoly
Australian Monopoly: St Marys to Penrith Special Edition.
Animals, Imagery, RisquéHow To Eat Pussy…
How to eat pussy…
Advertising, Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Phones, Samsung, Samsung Galaxy, TechnologyApple IPhone 20 & Samsung Galaxy S23 – Sword & Shield
A mock-up of the iPhone 20 and Samsung Galaxy S23, after the launch of the “taller” iPhone5 & the larger Galaxy S3.
Animals, Animated, Australia, Emus, Imagery, KangaroosKangaroo Kicks Boy
A kangaroo kicks an unsuspecting boy into a dam while an emu strolls past.
Food, ImageryLittle Green Balls Of Death
Little Green Balls of Death
ImageryMcDonald’s Reaches Africa
McDonald’s reaches Africa.
Alcohol, ImagerySlimming Drink
You look so much better after a glass or two!
Accidents, Imagery, Logan, Racist, WindowsLogan Repair
Another quality repair job by Logan City Council.
Crime, Police, ShootingThe Floor Is Still Wet
I have an interesting case here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped…
Imagery, NinjasNinja Exit
Ninja Exit Only
Australia, PoliticalCostello’s Reward For Being Loyal
Costello’s reward for being loyal…
RisquéMonica
Monica walks into her dry cleaning store…
Chinese, Imagery, Racist, Tattoos, WomenIf Chinese People Tattooed Lame English Words On Themselves…
If Chinese people tattooed lame English words on themselves…
Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Pie ChartsTime Breakdown Of Modern Web Design
The breakdown of modern web design.
Advertising, Apple, Computers, Geeky, Imagery, MacMac Weed
A take-off of the Apple Macintosh switch ads.
Driving, Sexist, WomenDamn Women Drivers
This morning on the freeway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Cadillac doing 110…
Imagery, SexistDifference Between Men And Women
The difference between men and women…
Gandalf, Harry Potter, Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, Patrick Stewart, Star Trek, Star WarsHow To Offend Four Groups Of Geeks With One Picture
How to offend four groups of geeks with one picture.
Cartoons, Comics, Imagery, MoviesThe Bat Cave
The location of our Bat Cave is meant to be secret, so stop checking in!
News Headlines
Amusing news headlines
Campervans, Camping, Cars, ImageryNot A Happy Camper
Not a Happy Camper.
SexistCIA Assassin
The CIA had an opening for an assassin…
Computer Games, Imagery, SexistThe Way Girls Play Computer Games
The way girls play computer games.
Animated, Australia, Imagery, Internet, Political, TelstraBuilding The NBN From Telstra Copper
Building the NBN from Telstra Copper
Clippit, Imagery, Microsoft, Office, Paperclips, WorkIt Looks Like You Are Wasting Office Supplies. Would You Like Some Help?
Clippit: It looks like you are wasting office supplies. Would you like some help?
Alcohol, Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, WindowsWindows: File Missing
Windows cannot find the file. Would you like some wine instead?
Animals, Imagery, Nuclear Power, SpidersSpider Farm
This seems like a disaster waiting to happen…
Animals, Halloween, Imagery, SquirrelsHalloween Squirrel
A squirrel got its head stuck in a Halloween decoration and terrified a neighbourhood…
RacistOnly In America...
Only in America…
Imagery, SexistHusband Glasses
I’m returning these glasses I bought for my husband. He’s still not seeing things my way.
Imagery, Phones, SmsI Am Hungary
I am Hungary…
ImageryPolice Station Toilet Stolen
Police Station Toilet Stolen… Cops have nothing to go on.
Imagery, Kitchens, Sexist, WomenFor Too Long The Voice Of Women Has Been Silenced
For too long the voice of women has been silenced. It’s time they had microphones in kitchens.
Cars, ImagerySideways Car
It’s a little confusing…
Babies, ImagerySpot The Baby
Spot the baby. No, the other one.
Imagery, RisquéDangers Of Masturbation
The Dangers of Masturbation.
Imagery, Musicians, Rolling Stones, ZombiesZombies!
Zombies! Oh, wait… false alarm, it’s just the Rolling Stones… carry on!
Bananas, Carving, Food, Guns, Imagery, WeaponsBanana Gun
Banana gun…
Farmers, Imagery, Men, Swimming, WomenThe Clever Old Man
One evening an old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond…
Game Shows, TvAmusing Hollywood Squares Answers
Amusing Hollywood Squares Answers.
Alcohol, Animals, Dogs, Imagery, Skateboards, Smoking, WineBad Dog Is Banned From The Park
I don’t know who this dog is or why he is banned from this park, but he certainly seems like a lot of fun.
Cartoons, Fire, Imagery, StairsIn Case Of Fire, Take Stairs
In case of fire, take stairs.
PoliticalBush And The Queen
While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen…
CarsMini Cooper
A guy driving a Mini Cooper pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce…
Alarms, Animals, Clocks, Imagery, SpidersAlarm Clock That Releases Spiders
Million dollar idea… alarm clock that releases spiders! Now you’re up!
Germany, LoveTell Someone You Love Them Today
Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying and confusing.
Africa, Animals, Cars, Elephants, ImageryYou Know You Are Having A Bad Day When…
You know you are having a bad day when…
SexistGirl’s And Boy’s Diaries
A girl and a boy and their diaries…
Aliens, ImageryFunniest Alien Fan Art I’ve Seen
Funniest Alien Fan Art I’ve Seen.
Facebook, Geeky, Imagery, InternetGoogle+ Versus Facebook
Google Plus versus Facebook
Imagery, Notices, Paper, SignsPaper Says Yes
Would you like a little piece of paper that says yes to hang onto during the tough times ahead? (Maybe it will help)
Cars, ReligiousRoad Rage
Two cars were waiting at a stoplight. The light turned green, but the man didn’t notice it…
Imagery, SexistIron Man Competition
Ironman Competition - the way it should be…
JokeExercise - Some Facts
Exercise… some facts.
Imagery, Reincarnation, WoodReincarnation Gone Horribly Wrong
Reincarnation gone horribly wrong
Geeky, ItNetwork Truths
The Twelve Networking Truths.
Books, ImageryMystery Books
You have to find them first…
Animals, Cars, Children, Girls, Horses, ImageryNo Pony For Christmas
No pony for Christmas? No window for driving!
Imagery, StovesCool Stoves
Cool Stoves
Animals, Dogs, ImageryFunny Dog
The longer you look, the funnier it gets!
Education, Imagery, School, TeachersExplain These Bad Grades
1969: A child’s parents blame him for his bad grades. Today: A child’s parents blame his teacher for his bad grades.
ImagerySpring Is Just Around The Corner
Finally… Spring is just around the corner.
AustraliaText Of A Letter From A Kid From Eromanga To Mum And Dad.
Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad.
Imagery, PiracyPiracy Is Not Theft
Imagine your car gets stolen, but it’s still there in the morning.
Books, Imagery, PhobiasEverything You Wanted To Know About Phobias
Everything you wanted to know about Phobias (but were afraid to ask)
Australia, New Zealand, RacistKiwi Pig Sheep
Voted Best Joke of the Year in Australia…
Geeky, ItHow To Please Your IT Department
How to please your IT department.
Computers, Geeky, ImagerySpeed Reader
Wow you read that fast! You must be a speed reader!
ImageryHow To Be Green
A boardgame: How to be Green…
Christmas, Christmas Lights, ImageryChristmas Lights: Ditto
Ditto to that…
Alcohol, Imagery, Marriage, WineSecrets To A Long, Happy Marriage
An old woman was sipping on a glass of wine…
Animals, Dieting, DogsPurina Diet
The Purina Pet Food Diet.
Animals, ImageryHow Dishwashers Really Work
How dishwashers really work…
America, Australia, Birds, Horror Movies, Imagery, MagpiesAustralian Horror Story
American Horror Story versus Australian Horror Story
RacistFerrari Sack Pit Crew
The Ferrari Formula 1 Team fired their entire pit crew yesterday…
Imagery, SexistEscape From The Kitchen
You thought you could escape from the kitchen didn’t you?
Animals, ImageryGeneral Hierarchical Management Structure
I’ve never seen a Flow Chart described so clearly.
Accidents, Cars, ImageryPass With Care
Pass with care…
ImagerySound Thug
Sound Thug
Cooking, Imagery, Smoke DetectorsWhat Smoke Detectors Warn You About
What smoke detectors warn you about.
PoliticalScientific Breakthrough – Governmentium
A major research institution recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named Governmentium.
ReligiousCommon Belief
The belief that there was nothing…
Imagery, Mistakes, PostersMake Some More Mistakes
I’ve learned so much from my mistakes… I’m thinking of making a few more.
Imagery, SchoolUnprepared For An Exam
Ever gone into an exam having not studied at all?
America, Imagery, Obama, PoliticalBarack Obama: What I Actually Do
Barack Obama: What I actually do.
Animals, Imagery, SealsSeal This Opening
I was told to seal this opening, so here I am.
Board Games, ImageryMarry Me
Scrabble Edition.
Balloons, Hot Air Balloons, ImageryHot Air Balloons
Hot Air Balloons - Boring 99% of the time.
Animals, Jokes, Puns, Racing, SnailsI Took The Shell Off My Racing Snail, Thinking It Would Make Him Run Faster.
I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster.
Africa, Animals, Bikes, ImageryUpsetting The Food Chain
A zebra on a motorbike…
Mechanics, UnderwearAlways Wear Underwear
Always wear underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle…
Cars, Imagery, Irish, RacistIrish Car
An advertisement in an Irish Newspaper…
Australia, Imagery, Nsw, PolicePoliceman’s Ball
A young woman was pulled over for speeding. A NSW Police Officer walked to her car window flipping open his ticket book. She said “I bet you are going to try and sell me a ticket to the Policeman’s Ball.” He said, “NSW Police don’t have balls.” There was a moment of silence. Then he closed his book, tipped his hat, and got back in his patrol car and left!
Bones, Imagery, SkeletonsThe Average Human Body Contains Enough Bones
The average human body contains enough bones to make an entire human skeleton.
Food, ImageryBreakfast Alive
What happens if you wait too long before eating your breakfast?
Cars, Imagery, Italy, Racist, Risqué25 Year Old Escort
But Mr. Berlusconi, you said, “Send a 25 years old escort to my villa!”
Afghanistan, RacistInvestment Opportunity
Investment Opportunity. Thought you might want to consider getting on board early.
Bob Hope, Imagery, Johnny Cash, Kevin Bacon, Steve JobsDon’t Let Kevin Bacon Die
20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have No Cash, No Hope and No Jobs. Please don’t let Kevin Bacon die.
Animals, Beavers, Birds, Cats, Dogs, Fish, Frogs, Horses, Imagery, Puns, Rabbits, ZebraPunny Animals
Who ever invented the “knock-knock jokes” should get a no-bell prize!
Imagery, Sexist, Tv, WomenCooking Shows
If we watched cooking shows the way guys watch sports.
Imagery, PhonesJack’s Phone
Why aren’t you answering…?
Chewing Gum, Imagery, WarningsDo Not Swallow Chewing Gum
Warning: Do not swallow chewing gum!
Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Linux, Mac, WindowsUpdate Available
An update is available for your computer…
Angry Birds, Animals, Australia, Birds, Computer Games, ImageryAngry Birds Australia
Angry Birds Australia…
Easter, Eggs, ImageryDye Job
Check out the dye job on her? Tramp!
Animals, Camels, Children, Donkeys, ImageryYour Child Is Being Eaten By A Camel
Your child is being eaten by a camel. Do you… a) Save your child, or b) Take a photo?
Fans, ImageryThank You To All My Fans
Thank you to all my fans
Racist, RedneckA Redneck Love Poem
Susie Lee done fell in love…
Animals, Dogs, ImageryHide Yo Kids!
Hide yo kids! Hide yo wife!
Illusion, ImageryTwelve Or Thirteen?
Wait until the group changes position. Is it twelve or thirteen?
Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery, WorkMario: Happy
Quit your day job and do what makes you happy.
Animals, Australia, Emus, WarEmu War
Result: Emu Victory.
Animals, Dogs, Imagery, SpidersSpider Dog
Spider Dog…
WorkRejection Response
The next time you get a rejection letter from a hoped-for employer or publisher, just send them the following…
Animals, Australia, Cockatoos, Flies, Imagery, Kangaroos, Kookaburras, Magpies, Possums, Snakes, Spiders, SunburnTypically Australian Problems
Some typically Australian problems that other people don’t face.
Medical, RisquéKeep Off The Grass
A Nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothes, entered…
Helpful Hints
Helpful Hints
America, Guns, RacistWhat Do You Call A Gun Enthusiast?
You may have heard on the news about a Southern California man who was put under 72-hour psychiatric observation when it was found he owned 100 guns and allegedly had 100,000 rounds of ammunition stored in his home…
Blogs, Grammar, Imagery, SpellingMisspelt Blog Post
You wouldn't think anyone reads my blog. I haven’t got a comment in weeks. Misspell something…
Cars, ImageryFail Towing
Thank You for Using Fail Towing, Inc.
Children, Imagery, PaintChildren Painting
Two children, half a room and a TV covered in white paint.
Animals, Broomsticks, Cars, Frogs, Imagery, Parking, Princesses, WitchesAll Others Will Be Toad
Private customer parking only. All others will be toad.
Bananas, Food, George Bush, ImageryThis Banana Tastes Funny
“This banana tastes funny” – George Bush.
Political, ReligiousThe 10 Commandments
The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse or parliament…
Cars, Gardens, ImageryMajor Tom’s Ground Control
Major Tom’s Ground Control Lawn and Garden Management.
Imagery, Movies, Obi-wan Kenobi, Star Wars, Terrorism, World Trade CentreThese Blast Points… Too Accurate For Sand People
Obi-Wan Kenobi in front of burning World Trade Centre towers: “These blast points… too accurate for sand people”.
Bsod, Geeky, Microsoft, WindowsBSOD: Blue Screen Of Death
The dreaded blue screen of death…
Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery, TechnologyCombo Hit: Streetfighter Style
Combo Hit: Streetfighter Style
Advertising, Cocaine, Drugs, Imagery, Toothache, VintageCocaine Toothache Drops
Cocaine Toothache Drops: Instantaneous Cure! 15¢.
Brisbane, Imagery, Logan, Racist, WoodridgeSimba & Woodridge
But what about that shadowy place?
Animated, Coffee, ImageryAnimated Coffee
Coffee with emotion.
Money, Quotations, SchwarzeneggerHaving More Money Doesn’t Make You Happier
Having more money doesn’t make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I’m just as happy as when I had 48 million.
Risqué, SexistMating Bulls
A man took his wife to the Rodeo and one of the exhibits is that of breeding bulls…
Animals, Australia, Dropbears, Imagery, KoalasDrop Bears – Department Of Dangerous Fauna Management
Dropbears are a very real danger to all Australians. Almost one in ten Australians has been attacked by a Dropbear, and the rate is even higher for foreign visitors. Don’t become another statistic. Always beware low branches and doorframes. Look up. Stay Alive.
Earth, ImageryHeld Hands Around The Equator
If the human population held hands around the equator, a significant portion of them would drown.
Cars, Geeky, Imagery, SqlSpeed Camera Hack
Car with SQL injection taped to the front.
Animals, Imagery, Iphone, PhonesIt’s A Whale
How do you have any friends…
Animals, Dogs, Driving, Imagery, SexistDog Decides Better Driver
My wife believes she is a better driver. I let our dog decide.
Imagery, MoviesTitanic Ice Bucket Challenge
Titanic ALS Ice Bucket Challenge: “I accept your ice water challenge”.
Imagery…and So It Was.
It’s a Bird! It’s a Plane!
Animals, Cats, ImageryOn A Roll
Don’t try to stop me… ‘cause I am on a roll.
Blonde, Imagery, SexistBlonde Geometry
Attached is problem 3 on a geometry examination…
Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery90’s Gamer
Everytime I hear people complain about online gaming, I wish they could experience my pain of online gaming in the 90’s…
Asian, Facebook, Imagery, RacistHumans Of Sunnybank
In Asia culture, it’s important for wife to trust husband and let him be the leader in the house. That’s why after I am married, I will always leave big decision to him – for example, choosing between buy me a Chanel for birthday or go sleep on sofa for a whole month instead.
Africa, Imagery, RacistEvery 60 Seconds In Africa
Every 60 seconds in Africa… a minute passes.
Buses, ImageryGo Home Bus, You’re Drunk!
Go home bus, you’re drunk!
Facebook, Imagery, TattoosTough Tattoos
Tough Tattoos: You Don’t Have to Like Me.
Clothes, Hats, Imagery, TiesYou Hang Around, I’ll Go On Ahead
You hang around, I’ll go on ahead.
Birth Control, Imagery, RisquéEffective Birth Control
The most effective birth control method known to man.
Australia, Imagery, Julia Gillard, Kevin Rudd, PoliticalWhere Was I Before I Was So Rudely Interrupted?
[Kevin Rudd] Where was I before I was so rudely interrupted?
Imagery, Movie Posters, PiranhasPiranhas On An Escalator
If I were you, I’d take the stairs…
Religious, RisquéSisters Of St Francis
Sisters of St. Francis House of Prostitution…
ShoppingGrocery Shopping On An Empty Stomach
Accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I’m the proud owner of aisle 4.
Talking Clock
Why, that’s my Talking Clock…
Coathangers, Imagery, WarningsDo Not Swallow Coathangers!
Caution: Do Not Swallow Coathangers!
Australia, Cars, Floods, Imagery, MechanicalDunno Mate, Maybe She’s Flooded?
Dunno mate, maybe she’s flooded?
Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, SexistAmazing Hidden Images
Amazing Hidden Images!
America, RacistAmerican State Mottos
American State Mottos…
Imagery, Motorbikes, SportOh Look, A Penny
Oh look, a penny!
Daughters, Families, Imagery, MothersMum, What’s It Like To Have The Greatest Daughter In The World?
Mum, what’s it like to have the greatest daughter in the world? I don’t know dear… you’ll have to ask grandma.
Imagery, Jail, Logan, RacistI’m From Logan
I killed a man. You? I’m from Logan.
Flies, Ipad, NewspapersModern Newspapers
I was visiting my daughter last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper…
Batman, Imagery, WomenNana Nana Nana Batman!
Nana Nana Nana Batman!
Cables, Cables, Geeky, Imagery, UsbCables Exist In 4-dimensional Space
Proof USB cables exist in 4-dimensional space.
Geeky, ImageryDied
…from not forwarding that text message to 10 people.
Political, RacistLetter To America
Letter to America
Imagery, Mobiles, Mouse Traps, Phones, TelstraCustomer Retention
Free Phone Telstra Style.
Animals, Imagery, JokeThe World’s Funniest Joke
The World’s Funniest Joke…
Cake, Ikea, ImageryHappy 25th Birthday IKEA!
Happy 25th Birthday IKEA! Here’s your cake
Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, Sauron, Traffic LightsKneel, Says The Demon Light
Stop says the red light, go says the green. Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between. Kneel, says the demon light, with its eye of coal. Sauron knows your licence plate, and stares into your soul.
Accidents, Buses, Imagery, Rivers, Wildlife DocumentariesA Wild Bus Drinking Water
And here we see a wild bus drinking water from a river.
Catholic, Priests, ReligiousThe Priest And The Hairdryer
In Catholic schools students are taught that lying is a sin. Instructors are also advised that using a bit of imagination is OK…
Food, ImageryPeanut Delivery
Peanut Delivery…
Arthur C Clarke, Astrology, QuotationsI Don’t Believe In Astrology
I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re sceptical.
SexistCelibacy
Many aspects of human sexuality are very puzzling…
ReligiousThe Pope Is Busted
After getting all of Pope John Paul’s luggage loaded into the limo…
Imagery, MathSeven Ate Nine
Six, Seven, Ate, Nine…
Books, ImageryScary Campfire Stories: Book Style
And then… after they had ripped out half of her pages… they turned her… into a movie!
Imagery, Michael Jackson, Performers, SingersMichael Jackson Is Dead
You Can Come Out Now…
Bacon, ImageryTen Pieces Of Bacon
If I had 10 pieces of bacon, and you took 4, what would you have? Yes, that’s right you’d have a black eye and a bruised hand.
America, Congress, Imagery, It Crowd, PoliticalCongress: Have You Tried Turning It Off And On Again?
Congress: have you tried turning it off and on again?
JokeLaurel And Hardy
Laurel and Hardy were repairing their roof. All of a sudden, Hardy lost his balance and went tumbling on the ground…
Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, Sexist, WorkJob Application
Sexist job application.
Animals, Food, ImageryBoiled Lobster
“I hate the way they scream when you boil them!”
Cars, Computers, GeekyMicrosoft Car
Microsoft and General Motors on the Automobile.
Aeroplanes, Buses, Cars, Electricity, Firefighters, Imagery, VaccinesRe-Think Vaccines
Next time someone tells you to re-think vaccines, show them this.
Animated, Fighting, Imagery, WweThrown Out Of The Ring
Thrown out of the Ring.
England, Imagery, UkAnarchy In The UK
Would you like some tea?
Cameras, Cannons, Imagery, NikonI Have A Cannon
You have a Nikon? I have a Cannon.
Animals, JokeThe Dead Rabbit
The Dead Rabbit, aka The Worst Joke Ever…
Animals, Conspiracies, Dogs, Imagery, SheepThat Conspiracy Stuff
I’m telling you – the man and the dog are definitely working together…
Imagery, Jobs, Pie Charts, Statistics, WorkChance Of Keeping Your Job If You’re Wrong More Than 75% Of The Time
Chance of keeping your job if you’re wrong more than 75% of the time.
Imagery, Paper, Plants, TreesIrony: Drawing Trees On Paper
Irony: Drawing trees on paper.
Imagery, MotivationalSomeone Out There Cares
I want you to know that someone out there cares. Not me, but someone does.
Imagery, Israeli, Palestinian, Political, RacistIsraeli Settlers
Of course we want peace–this piece and this piece and this piece and this piece…
America, Bear Arms, Constitution, Democracy, Imagery, Second AmendmentThe Second Amendment: The Right To Bear Arms
The second amendment gives Americans the right to bear arms. I think many have taken this out of context.
America, Guns, ImageryHow To Sneak Chocolate Into An American Movie Theatre.
How to sneak chocolate into an American movie theatre.
Apple, Imagery, Ios, Ios6, TransportApple IOS6 Maps
For the benefit of passengers using Apple iOS6, local area maps are available from the booking office.
Imagery, Risqué, SexistThe Lift
A man and woman meet outside an elevator door…
Advertising, Imagery, Motorola, Tv, VintageTelevision Benefits Your Children
How television benefits your children.
Animals, Imagery, RabbitsWhat Rabbits Do
What rabbits do when humans go out…
Accidents, Food, ImageryMilkshake Meets Door
A woman runs into a door carrying two milkshakes.
Alice In Wonderland, Imagery, Movies, SexistUltimate Chick Flick
Ultimate chick flick: Two women fighting over a pair of shoes
Children, Parenting, SportChild Beating
A seven year old boy was at the centre of a courtroom drama…
Australia, SexistAussie Men
Aussie men… struggling with the booze…
Geeky, Imagery, RomanceRoses Are #FF0000
Roses are #FF0000, Violets are #0000FF.
JokesToday Is Sunday
Attention! Today is Sunday. Share this on your Facebook wall. Within seven days you’ll get another Sunday…
Imagery, RisquéThe Exact Spot My Zipper Broke
The exact spot my zipper broke.
Jokes, Pool, Puns, Sport, TreesWhat’s Green, Fuzzy, And If It Fell Out Of A Tree It Would Kill You?
What’s green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?
Imagery, Jealousy, Relationships, SmsBaby Are You Jealous?
Baby are you jealous?
Imagery, SexistWomen: Yes, No, Maybe…
I think I have that women-talk all figured out…
Business Cards, ImageryYou Have A Nice… Business Card
A business card: “You have a nice… {day, ass, attitude}.
Boobs, Imagery, Sexist, WomenI Wish These Were Brains
Sexist, but contains breasts…
ImageryEmoticons
Lots of emoticons…
Acronyms, Imagery, Iphone, PhonesIDK LY TTYL
IDK LY TTYL: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later.
Bananas, Cars, Food, ImageryGet In The Banana
No time to explain. Get in the banana!
Cartoons, ImageryFor A Good Time
For a good time, call…
Clowns, Imagery, Risqué, Sex, WomenShe Made That Clown Extremely Happy
She made that clown extremely happy.
Computers, Evolution, ImagerySomething Went Terribly Wrong
Something, somewhere went terribly wrong.
Marriage, SexistSecrets To A Happy Marriage
Secrets to a Happy Marriage…
Imagery, Jobs, WorkThings Don’t Really Change
Interviewer: What would you consider to be your greatest weakness?
Cars, SexistHow To Change Your Oil
How to Change your Oil: A guide for men & women…
Cars, Imagery, Logan, My Family Stickers, Racist, StickersLogan My Family Stickers
Logan My Family Stickers.
Animals, Boobs, Bras, Cats, ImageryBooby Trap
Nooo! It’s a booby trap!
Animals, Cars, Driving, Imagery, KoalasDon’t Worry I’m Koalafied To Drive
Don’t worry I’m Koalafied to drive.
Dalai Lama, Daleks, Dr Who, Imagery, Reincarnation, TvDalek Lama
Reincarnate! Reincarnate!
Communist, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, SoftwareCommunist Traitor
It looks like you’re a Communist traitor…
Imagery, SexistCall The Rescue Squad!
I’m sorry dear. I can’t hear you. I’m in the kitchen, making you a sandwich.
Animated, Flash, Geeky, ImageryL33t H4x0r H4ml37
Tales for the L33T PATR TOO - HAMLET
America, Britain, Political, Queen Elizabeth Ii, Queens, Racist, RoyaltyA MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN
A message to the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.
Alcohol, Australia, Bob Hawke, Imagery, Oxford, PoliticalBob Hawke’s Yard Of Ale
While at university at Oxford in 1963, Bob Hawke, former Prime Minister of Australia, entered the Guinness Book of Records here at the Turf Tavern after downing a yard of ale (that’s just over 2½ pints!) in just 11 seconds.
Cars, Computer Games, Geeky, ImageryGamers: The Mentality
Objects in mirror are losing.
Apple, Computers, Imagery, Phones, Religious, Steve JobsI Have An APP For That!
Steve Jobs, 1955 – 2011.
Facebook, Imagery, RisquéFacebook Sex
Taking status updates too far.
Imagery, Logan, Racist, RisquéIn Logan
Meanwhile… in Logan…
Imagery, School24 Chickens
24 Chickens: The shoe rack at the front door…
Advertising, Babies, Beer, Imagery, Mothers, VintageHow Mother And Baby “Picked Up”
Blatz Beer: How Mother and Baby “Picked Up”.
Imagery, Injuries, Sexist, SportMen & Women In Sport
Women: No problem girls… I can go on. Men: Ahhhh! I’m dying.
Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Imagery, Internet Explorer, Opera, SafariBrowsers: Their Differences
The differences between the major web browsers.
Imagery, Iphone, Nokia, PhonesNokia Versus The IPhone
The strongest phones ever!
Acid, Animals, Cats, Cocaine, Coffee, Drugs, Heroin, Imagery, Marijuana, Mushrooms, Shrooms, WeedDrug Cats
An illustrated cat-guide to drugs…
Animals, ImageryNot Allowed
When a dog is all out of luck.
ImageryWhy Women Live Longer Than Men
Genetics - Why women live longer than men.
Animals, Dogs, ImageryI See What You Did There
I see what you did there… also, over here…
Imagery, Phones, SmsChosen One
I’m the chosen one…
Imagery, SignsDon’t Grow Up
Don’t grow up. It’s a trap.
Got To Love Drunk People
>A man, and his wife are awakened at 3 o’clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door…
ReligiousThe Atheist & The Bear
The Atheist and the Religious Bear
A Middle-aged Woman Decides To Have A Facelift…
A middle-aged woman decides to have a facelift…
Computers, ImageryTimes Change
…but other things don’t.
PoliticalPolitically Correct Primer
A politically correct primer.
Animals, Imagery, SharksMisunderstood Sharks
Misunderstood Sharks.
Apple, Imagery, Iphone, PhonesUpgrade Kit For IPhone 4 Owners
Upgrade kit for iPhone 4 owners. Only 99¢.
RisquéTarzan Sex
When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex…
Animals, Australia, Crocodiles, Emus, Imagery, Kangaroos, Koalas, Kookaburras, Police, Sharks, Spiders, Woolworths26 Everyday Occurrences In Australia
When you live on a barely hospitable desert island that was once a continent-sized penal colony, your life tends to be a little more badass than the average person’s.
Food, ImageryThrowing People
A tomato’s fear.
Animals, Cats, Imagery, SmsCat Facts
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Animals, Dogs, ImagerySo We Got Pugsy A New Chew Toy…
So we got Pugsy a new chew toy…
Australia, Football, Imagery, Muslim, Racist, SportWell, I Guess We’ll Beheading Home Now
Well, I guess we’ll beheading home now…
Animated, Babies, Fireworks, ImageryFirst Time Seeing Fireworks
A baby sees fireworks for the first time.
SexistSocialize
Men socialize by insulting each other…
ImageryAlzheimer’s
“I may have alzheimer’s, but at least I don’t have alzheimer’s”
Advertising, Boats, Imagery, Oceans, Oxi-clean, ShipsThe Power Of Oxi-Clean
The Power of Oxi-Clean.
Computers, Geeky, It, Technology101 Things You Do Not Want...
101 Things You Do Not Want Your System Administrator to say.
Animals, Irish, RacistIrish Pets
Two Irish men walk into a pet shop…
English, ImageryLike If You Can Raed Tihs
Like if you can raed tihs whit no porlqebm baecuas yuor jsut taht sarmt.