Ned Martin’s Amused Categories

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Ned Martin’s Amused Pages

Blacks, Imagery, RacistBlacks For Sale: They can still do that?
Imagery, Police, ProtestsPolice & Protesters Help Fat Man Remove Pants: Police & Protesters help fat man remove pants…
Bmw, Cars, Imagery, WorkBrand New BMW: The owner of the company where I work pulled up in his brand new BMW this morning…
Facebook, Imagery, InternetFuture Man: So you’re saying people will “tweet” what they’re eating for breakfast?
Imagery, ToiletsPeeing: Expert Mode: Peeing: Expert Mode
Imagery, ShopsBall-type Deodorant: Her: Is it the ball-type deodorant you want sir? Him: Oh no miss – it’s for under my arms!
Boats, Imagery, IslandsBoat! Land!: Boat! Land!
☺How To Make Sure You’re A Normal Person: A quick and easy test to determine if you are a normal person…
ImageryTimes Have Changed: An image from an operating manual for the SAGE air defense system
☺Idiots: Idiots everywhere…
Bikinis, Burqa, Imagery, Muslim, Racist, SexistWhat A Cruel Male-dominated Culture: It’s a male dominated culture, no matter how you look at it…
Animals, Drugs, ImageryFlying Ants: How ants began to fly…
Flowcharts, Imagery, SexistHow To Argue With A Woman: A flowchart.
Animals, RisquéThe Lone Ranger: The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an Indian war party…
☺Foot Smart: See if you can outsmart your foot…
Animals, Cars, Cows, Drunk, ImageryDrunk Cows: Drunk Cows: Bruce you are drunk.
Imagery, RocksOrders From A Rock: [On a rock] Turn me over. You just took orders from a rock.
Canada, Etiquette, ImageryHolding Doors: Holding Doors: A Question of Distance.
ImageryButtons: Lots of buttons…
ImageryHard To Pay Fine: Touching wires causes instant death…
Animals, Bread, Dogs, Food, ImageryBread Dog: The Amazing Bread Dog.
Army, WarAmerican Nun: A deserter GI was running down a road escaping from two MPs…
ImageryBefore Tweeting: In case of fire: Exit building before tweeting about it.
Advertising, Imagery, Skype, VintageSkype: Vintage Skype advert.
Actors, Famous People, Imagery, Movie Stars, Robert De NiroRobert De Niro, De Faro: First Robert De Niro, then Robert De Faro.
Joke, RisquéJam And Butter The Muddy Plasters, The Dirty Bucket Of Pitch!: Jam and butter the muddy plasters, the dirty bucket of pitch!
Canada, Imagery, NoticesCanadian Security: Canadian Security: It may seem rude but for security reasons please do not open the door to strangers.
Camping, Grammar, Imagery, TentsYou Can’t Run Through A Campground: You can’t run through a campground. You can only ran, because it’s past tents.
Animals, Imagery, Johnny Depp, Movie Stars, SpidersI’m Really Afraid Of Johnny Depp: Research shows that if you’re afraid of spiders, you’re more likely to find one in your bedroom. I’m really afraid of Johnny Depp.
Blonde, SexistA Young Brunette Goes To The Doctor...: A young brunette goes to the doctor…
Apple, Boobs, Fashion, Imagery, Ios, Risqué, ShirtsSlide To Unlock: A woman wearing a shirt: Slide to Unlock.
Animals, Elephants, Imagery, Kenya, ZoosMan & Elephant: In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Louisiana State University…
Imagery, Step Ladders, ToolsStep Ladder: The Troubles of Being a Step Ladder…
Animals, Circuses, Dwarfs, Hippopotamuses, ImageryHippo Eats Dwarf: A hippopotamus has swallowed a dwarf in a circus accident…
Animals, Birds, Chickens, Imagery, MarriageMarriage: Before & After (Chicken Style): Marriage: Before & After (Chicken Style).
Drugs, Homophobia, Imagery, Marijuana, MedicalMedical Marijuana: What disease is your medical marijuana relieving?
Cartoons, Food, ImageryChocolate Pudding: It’s four o’clock in the morning. Why on earth are you making chocolate pudding?
Comics, Education, ImageryUnused Diploma.: I’d like to return this. It’s unused. This is your diploma. Cash is fine.
Bras, Imagery, New Zealand, Racist, Risqué, SportThe All Blacks Bra: Introducing the New Zealand All Blacks Bra. All the support, but no cup.
Children, Parenting, Risqué“Hi Honey. This Is Daddy. Is Mummy Near The Phone?”: Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mummy near the phone?
Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Internet ExplorerWhat Are We? Browsers!: What are we? Browsers! What do we want? More speed! And when do we want it? Right now!
Bsod, Clippit, Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, WindowsWindows: Windows. Still the most used operating system, and undoubtedly the most abused.
Boats, Books, Fishing, Reading, Sexist, WomenNever Argue With A Woman: Never Argue with a Woman…
Asian, Imagery, Iphone, Racist, RiceIf Your Phone Gets Wet, Try Placing It In A Bag Of Rice: If your phone gets wet, try placing it in a bag of rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you.
ImageryMissed You...: Image of a soldier pointing a gun towards the camera with caption “When you first left, I missed you badly… I WONT THIS TIME”
Advertising, Feminine Hygiene, Imagery, Risqué, Sexist, Tampons, VintageThe Girls Are Talking About Tampons: The Blonde: It’s invisible sanitary protection, thank heavens…
Aztecs, Imagery, Mayans, OreosMayan, Aztec And Oreos: Mayan, Aztec and Oreos…
Babies, ImageryWomb Service: Hello, Womb Service? I’d like a double order of hot wings…
Feminists, Imagery, Lightbulbs, Sexist, WomenHow Many Feminists Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Don’t be silly, feminists can’t change anything!
Geeky, InternetGoogle: Try Google. Available in six of the world’s most common languages…
Diets, Food, Paleolithic DietPaleolithic Diet: Something’s just not right—our air is clean, our water is pure, we all get plenty of exercise, everything we eat is organit and free-range, and yet nobody lives past thirty.
Imagery, Odin, PoliticalVote Odin: The left wing said they’d abolish poverty; right wing said they’d abolish bureaucracy. Odin said he’d abolish ice giants. Where are the ice giants? Vote Odin!
Drugs, ImageryToo High: Quick! Grab my hand! I… I can’t! You’re too high! What?
ImageryWill Not Load Fully: This picture will not load fully!
Girls, Imagery, WorkForgot I Was Sharing My Screen With Her: I was on an online conference call with a cute sounding girl, and googled her name out of curiosity. Forgot I was sharing my screen with her.
Animals, Beaches, Imagery, Signs, Stingrays, WarningsShuffle Your Feet For Stingrays: Shuffle your feet for Stingrays: One of the many dangers in Australian waters.
Evolution, Imagery, SexistThe Evolution Of Man And Woman: The Evolution of Man & Woman…
Flash, ImageryVision Test: Vision Test.
Food, Imagery, ThymeToo Much Thyme On My Hands: I’ve got way too much tyme on my hands.
Imagery, SexistWoman With PMS: Woman with PMS.
Animals, Imagery, ZebrasI Love You Zebra: Bite marks are love notes written in flesh. I love you zebra.
Australia, Chillis, Food, Racist, TexasAn Australian Chilli Tester In Texas…: An Australian chilli tester in Texas…
English, GrammarIf Your A Grammar Nazi: If your a grammar nazi and your reading this your gonna have a bad time.
Australia, Games, Imagery, Logan, Monopoly, RacistLogan Monopoly: Logan Monopoly…
Imagery, LegoWhat Lego Does When We Aren’t Looking: What legos do when we aren’t looking
Art, Imagery, Michelangelo, Paintings, Reenactment, Sistine ChapelMichelangelo: The Re-enactment: A re-enactment of Michelangelo’s famous “The Creation of Adam”.
Guns, ImageryThe Last Known Picture Taken Of Grandpa: A woman inadvertently points a gun towards a man.
Animals, Imagery, SharksSharks Are A Lot Friendlier Without Pointy Teeth: Sharks are a lot friendlier without pointy teeth.
Imagery, SmsBack From The Dead: Woo, it’s me! Back from the dead!
Beds, Hotels, Imagery, Phones, SheetsAlways Leave Your Hotel Room Like This: Always leave your hotel room like this
Bras, Imagery, UnderwearSupport Bras: Supportive support bras…
Animals, DogsTalking Dog For Sale: A man sees a sign outside a house – “Talking Dog for Sale.”
Babies, Imagery, Kanye West, Kim Kardashian, Phones, Sms, Taylor Swift, TwitterYo I’m Happy For You And Imma Let You Finish But…: [Twitter] Taylor Swift: @KimKardashian @kanyewest Yo I’m happy for you and imma let you finish but Beyonce had one of the best labours of all time.
Ballerinas, Imagery, WomenFreshly Washed Ballerinas: Freshly washed ballerinas.
Animals, Imagery, Seals, SharksDo Not Consume If Seal Is Broken!: Do not consume if seal is broken!
MedicalSeek And Find You…: I shall seek and find you…
Crocs, Friday The 13th, Imagery, Jason Voorhees, Movies, ShoesJason Voorhees Gets Crocs: Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th) gets Crocs.
Imagery, Math, SchoolI’ll Just Be A Stripper.: Screw this: I’ll just be a stripper.
Animals, Imagery, ZebrasZebra Crossing: Zebra Crossing…
Imagery, SnowDead Snowmen: Gruesomely dead snowmen.
Facebook, ImageryI Think I Might Stay Home Tonight…: I think I might stay home tonight… Liver and Wallet like this.
ImageryMarketing: Marketing…
Imagery, Masturbation, RisquéI’m Starting To Think My Husband Masturbates: I’m not absolutely certain yet, but I’m starting to think my husband masturbates
Imagery, RisquéThumb War: One, two three, four. I declare a thumb war…
Anatidaephobia, Animals, Ducks, ImageryAnatidaephobia: Anatidaephobia is the fear that somewhere in the world, there is a duck watching you.
Computers, Imagery, InternetNew Mail: 10 years ago…
Imagery, PlanesAerodynamics Simplified: How planes fly.
Boats, Burials, Cemetries, Funerals, Imagery, SexistBoat Funeral: A funeral procession pulled into a cemetery. Several carloads of family members followed a black truck towing a boat with a coffin in it…
Imagery, InternetProcrastination: Have a little look at the Internet…
Al Qaeda, Bin Laden, Imagery, Political, TerrorismI Usually Get 9/11: I don’t always get rated on my terrorism attacks, but when I do, I usually get 9/11.
Africa, Animals, Imagery, MoviesThe Lion King: Proof At Last: Pumbaa & Timon…
PilotsBlind Pilots: You know, Bob, one of these days, they’re going to scream too late, and we’re all gonna die…
Animals, Bread, Dogs, Food, ImageryI’m Inbred!: I’m Inbred!
Animals, Bears, Cartoons, Imagery, PigsJackass Piglet: Hi, my name’s piglet and this is Jackass.
Comedians, Comedy, Grammar, Hitler, Imagery, JapanOne Thing Led To Another: I hate when you’re reading something and you come across the phrase “one thing led to another”
Computers, ImageryAlready Exists: skdjaskdhsajdahsdjashds.jpg already exists. Do you want to replace it? You've got to be kidding me.
Knock Knock, PolicePolice: Knock Knock: Police: Knock Knock. Me: Who is it? Police: It’s the police.
Animals, Beds, Dinosaurs, ImageryT-Rex Making A Bed: When you’re upset just imagine a T-Rex making a bed.
Forecasting, ImageryJohn’s Weather Forecasting Stone: One of the most reliable ways of forecasting…
Imagery, Ocd, ShirtsI Have CDO. It’s Like OCD But All The Letters Are In Alphabetical Order.: I have CDO. It’s like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order. As they should be.
Cars, ImageryPolished My Car Too Much: Polished my car too much, now it’s invisible…
Animals, Dogs, Imagery, RisquéBitches & Hose: Having so much fun…
Animals, Fish, Girls, ImagerySaved A Fish From Drowning: Here is a heart warming picture of a little girl that saved a fish from drowning.
Famous People, Imagery, Movie StarsReese Witherspoon: Reese Withoutherspoon.
Computer Games, Geeky, ImageryReality: Worst game ever.
ImagerySimple Eye Examination Test: A simple eye examination chart.
Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, Shoes, VintageWhere She Belongs: Keep her where she belongs…
Cars, Imagery, PoliceMisleading The Public: $100 for speeding and $250 for misleading the public…
Credit Cards, Genies, Imagery, Sexist, WomenIrresistible To Women: Make me irresistible to women
Imagery, Paper, SignsIs It Me You’re Looking For?: Hello? Is it me you’re looking for?
Children, Imagery, Sexist, ToysTo Avoid Perpetuating Gender Stereotypes: To avoid perpetuating gender stereotypes, I gave my daughter a mix of dolls and toy cars to play with. This is what happened…
Illusion, ImageryFour Perfectly Round Circles: Four Perfectly Round Circles.
Animals, Dogs, ImageryFridge Magnets: Well, tell me, Randy. Has someone eaten all the refrigerator magnets again?
America, Animals, Australia, Britain, Cows, India, Irish, PoliticalYou Have Two Cows: The eponymous cows is used to demonstrate the advantages and flaws of certain economic systems.
Buildings, Jokes, Physicists, PunsA Physicist Sees A Young Man About To Jump Off The Empire State Building: A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building…
Guitars, Imagery, MusicFree Air Guitars: Christmas Gift Ideas: Free Air Guitars.
Buffering, Buffy, Imagery, TvBuffy Buffering: Buffy buffering…
Cars, PoliceSpeed Camera: Speed camera revenge…
Aeroplanes, Aircraft, Imagery, WarRequesting Air Support: Requesting Air Support! “Believe in yourself. You can do it!”
Archaeology, Canada, Cars, Imagery, SnowCanadian Archaeology: Canadian Archaeology: Digging a car out from under the snow
Imagery, PoliticalWill Be President For Food: Boy sitting next to sign “No Campaigning beyond This Point” holding sign “Will Be President for Food”.
Animals, Djs, Fishing, Imagery, MusicDrop The Bass: Can’t go fishing, ‘cause I always drop the bass…
Animals, Cats, ImageryAbercrombie & Cat: Abercrombie & Cat
Mayans, Movies, Predictions, The Hobbit, TolkienMayans Predicting The Hobbit Movie: Keep calm. The Mayans were simply counting down to The Hobbit movie.
Australia, Bank Notes, Banks, Imagery, Money, PoliticalAustralian Bank Notes: Australian Bank Notes.
Birds, Imagery, RavensWhere Have You Been All Weekend?: Where have you been all weekend? Out Raven.
Imagery, MenI'd Rather Break My Arms Than Take Two Trips: I'd rather break my arms than take two trips.
Imagery, Nietzsche, ReligiousNietzsche Is Dead: God is dead” ~Nietzsche / “Nietzsche is dead” ~God.
Illusion, ImageryThe Angry/Calm Illusion: The Angry/Calm Illusion.
Animals, ImageryAntique Tables: Made Daily…
Computers, Sms, WindowsWindows Frozen: Wife texts husband on a cold winter’s morning, “Windows frozen.”
Imagery, Political, Snowden, Spying, WikileaksEdward Snowden Buys A Plane Ticket From Moscow To Havana…: Snowden buys a plane ticket from Moscow to Havana. Over 30 journalists pay last-minute airfare for a ticket on the same flight. The doors shut, the plane takes off, and [Edward] Snowden is not on the plane. It’s a 16-hour flight.
Animals, Cats, ImageryHello Kitty: It’s sickeningly cute. Perhaps literally if its expression is anything to go by…
Batman, Imagery, Superman, WonderwomanIt Is Such A Drag When Someone In The Group Can’t Fly…: It is such a drag when someone in the group can’t fly… forcing everybody else to have to ride up the elevator too…
Babies, ImageryResisting A Rest: If I refuse to nap… is that resisting a rest?
Australia, Banks, ImageryAustralian Banks: Australian Bank Logos.
Food, Imagery, RisquéCarrot Love: When carrots get kinky…
PoliticalAbbott And Costello Go To Washington: Abbott And Costello Go To Washington.
Animals, Computer Games, Games, Imagery, PhonesAngry Birds: Angry Birds attend Anger Management.
Cars, Computer Games, ImageryLegend Of Zelda: A legend… of Zelda.
Animated, ImagerySpiderman: If Spiderman was a gay night-clubber…
Babies, Imagery, InstructionsBaby Instructions: Some useful instructions to keep baby alive and well…
Imagery, WorkHorse Whisperer: A very amusing workplace complaint.
Accidents, Cars, Imagery, TrucksThe Road To Success: On the road to success, there are no shortcuts…
Animals, ImageryUsed Cows: Used Cows for Sale.
Animals, Fish, Imagery, Love, Romance, SmsAnyways, Best Of Luck Finding Your Fish: Long story short, we’re in love. I know it seems sudden but life is sudden like that, you know? Anyways, best of luck finding your fish.
Animals, Cats, Imagery, RacoonsCat Found: Cat Found. Very aggressive.
Children, Families, Imagery, Parenting, SchoolWhen I Grow Up… I Want To Be Like Mommy!: I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer…
Girls, Imagery, Moon, Photography, Sexist, Space, WomenWent To The Moon, Took 5 Photos. Went To The Bathroom, Took 37 Photos.: Went to the moon, took 5 photos. Went to the bathroom, took 37 photos.
ImageryTrapped Miners: The first photo of the trapped miners…
Imagery, RisquéPremature Ejaculators Anonymous: Man stating he ‘came too soon’ in front of sign stating ‘premature ejaculators anonymous’.
America, RacistA Russian Arrives In New York: A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United States…
Geeky, Imagery, InternetYour Computer Is Broadcasting Your IP...: Your computer is broadcasting your IP over the Internet…
Australia, Imagery, Kevin Rudd, PoliticalThe Many Hands Of Kevin Rudd: The many hand gestures of Kevin Rudd.
Fire, Fire Extinguishers, ImageryFire Extinguisher Fire: Fire Extinguisher Fire: What do you do now?
Beer, Computers, GeekyIf Beer Was Like Operating Systems...: If Beer was like Operating Systems…
English, GrammarThat’s What She Said: That’s what she said.
Alphabet, Games, ImageryAlphabet Game: The Alphabet Game is a car game played to amuse travellers on long car rides.
Boobs, SexistTen Things Men Know About Women: Ten things men know about women…
Fonts, Imagery, TypographyBe Bold: Be bold or italic. Never regular.
Eggs, ImageryEscape Egg: Counting down the days to escape…
GeekyUnusual EBay Feedback: A+++! Would read this amusing page again…
SexistWinter Classes For Men: Winter Classes for Men at the Learning Centre for Adults
Advertising, Cooking, Imagery, Sexist, VintageCook – That’s What Wives Are For!: The Chef does everything but cook – that’s what wives are for!
Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Internet Explorer, Opera, SafariIE Retarded: I hope he doesn’t say something retarded…
Alcohol, Goon, Imagery, Logan, Police, RacistLargest Goon Bust In Logan’s History: Logan police in conjunction with the A.F.P. hauled in the largest goon bust in Logan’s history. With an estimated street value of $39.
Fortune Cookies, ImageryYou Are Not Illiterate.: You are not illiterate.
Geeky, ImageryReach Out: Reach Out!
SexistGuts Or Balls?: We’ve all heard about men having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them?
Africa, Animals, Imagery, Lions, SafarisShould I Tell Them I’m Here?: Should I tell them I’m here?
ImageryLegoland Will Never Be The Same...: Legoland will never be the same…
Imagery, Movies, RomanceGirlfriends: Harry Potter Versus Twilight: Ginny: When Harry broke up with me for my safety…
Drink, Food, ImageryThings To Eat And Drink In Public: Things to eat and drink in public.
Animals, Animated, Dogs, Imagery, TonguesDog Tongue: A dog with a very long tongue.
Alcohol, ChemistryAlcohol Is A Solution: Not to get technical but according to chemistry alcohol is a solution.
SexistPerfect Riddle: Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met…
Imagery, Music, Rap, Rock, SignsRap Loses To Rock: Rap is like scissors, it always loses to rock.
Accidents, Buses, Cars, Imagery, InsuranceDon’t You Suggest To Me What To Do: If you don’t have GIO Third Party Property Insurance, we suggest you don’t hit this bus.
Animals, Dogs, Education, Elephants, Exams, Fish, Imagery, Monkeys, Penguins, School, SealsOur Education System: [To an assorted group of animals] Our Education System: For a fair selection everybody has to take the same exam: Please climb that tree.
Cycling, Drugs, SportI Think It Is Just Terrible And Disgusting How Everyone Has Treated Lance Armstrong: I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he achieved, winning seven Tour de France races while on drugs. When I was on drugs, I couldn’t even find my bike.
Alcohol, Animated, Fire, Imagery, Racist, Russia, SneezingIn Russia People Sneeze Fire: In Russia people sneeze fire after drinking lots of vodka.
☺Dear Thigh Fat: Help the needy?
Imagery, TeaMr. Tea: Mr. Tea the teapot.
Animated, ImageryWait!: Wait…
Australia, Cooking, God, Imagery, KitchensIn God’s Kitchen: In God’s Kitchen: What are you cooking?
Alcohol, Books, Imagery, WineBook Club: My book club only reads wine labels.
Computers, Geeky, ImageryKeyboards: Amusing Keyboards
Animals, Imagery, Internet, RabbitsStop Surfing The Internet And Just Go To Bed: Holy crap! Look how late it is! Why do I always do this? Why is it so hard to stop surfing the internet and just go to bed?
Geeky, InternetUsing AOL? Mind If We LOL?: Using AOL? Mind if we LOL?
Australia, PoliticalPsalm 2009 – 2012: The First Book of Government.
Bankruptcy, Divorce, Imagery, LiquorBankruptcy, Divorce, Liquor: Bankruptcy, Divorce, Liquor.
Adoption, Babies, ImageryAdopted Baby: Dude, I’m joking, you are not adopted!
Doctors, HospitalsFinding Information In Hospital: A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph’s Hospital…
Animals, Bunnies, Chocolate, Easter, Food, Imagery, RabbitsEaster Bunnies: Chocolate Easter Bunnies: My butt hurts! What?
Animals, Business, Dogs, ImageryAssistant Branch Manager: The Branch Manager and the Assistant Branch Manager.
ImageryBribing Santa: Dear Santa, if you leave a new bike under the tree, I will give you the antidote to the poison I put in the milk.
Imagery, RisquéToo Long: Her: Do you want to her a joke about my vagina? Nevermind… you’ll never get it! Her: Do you want to her a joke about my vagina? Nevermind… you’ll never get it!
Animals, Birds, Imagery, SeagullsSomebody Come Look At This: Somebody Come Look at This
Risqué, SexistThe Perfect Password: A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, the computer advised him that he would now need to enter a password…
Air Force, Fighter Jets, Imagery, Jets, NavyWrong Button: Fighter jet hits the wrong button.
Highway Patrol, Police, Speeding, WorkcoverSweet Justice: Workcover versus the police…
Computers, GeekyRandom Number: A simple function to return a random number.
Bananas, Chris Brown, Food, Imagery, RihannaChris Brown & Rihanna Bananas: I can’t believe she didn’t press charges. It got worse when he posted the unpeeled photos of her.
Food, Imagery, Microwaves, ScienceNo Science In This Microwave: Food only. Absolutely no science in this microwave.
Charts, Computer Games, Imagery, Pacman, Pie ChartsPacman Pie Chart: The Pacman pie chart.
Beer, SexistA Beer Before It Starts: A man came home from work, sat down in his favourite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, “Quick, bring me a beer before it starts”…
Imagery, MoviesThere Are Three Kinds Of People: Impatient, Patient, And Rich.: There are three kinds of people: Impatient, patient, and rich.
Jokes, RisquéWhere Is Amanda’s Husband?: Amanda is 21 years older than her son John. In 6 years from now, Amanda will be 5 times as old as John…
English, GrammarYour There: They’re they are.
Political, SchoolMath Instruction: At Heathrow Airport today…
Food, Imagery, SexistBut God, She Won’t Even Make Me A Sandwich…: But God, She Won’t Even Make Me a Sandwich…
Animals, Fish, ImageryCan February March? No, But April May.: Can February March? No, but April May.
Animals, Bears, Guns, ImageryWhat Is The Smallest Calibre You Trust To Protect Yourself?: I remember one time while hiking with my girlfriend in northern Alberta and out of nowhere came this huge brown bear charging us, and was she mad!
Animals, Computer Games, Computers, Imagery, SpidersBravery: …in the face of spiders.
Animals, Imagery, SlugsFeeling Sluggish: I’ve been feeling a bit sluggish…
Illusion, ImageryWhat Kind Of Sorcery Lets These Two Blocks Be The Same Color?: One is dark, one is light. One is gray, one is white. These are obviously two different blocks with two different colors right? Wrong. The two blocks are the same color.
America, Canada, RacistU.S. Ship Versus Canadian: U.S. Ship versus Canadian.
Imagery**** I Forgot To Turn Off The Oven: **** I forgot to turn off the oven.
Calendars, Comics, Imagery, MayansThe Mayan Calendar: I only had enough room to go up to 2012…
Geeky, Imagery, TechnologyBack-Up: Image of man backing-up with computer.
Board Games, Imagery, SexistWomen’s Monopoly: By a man…
Imagery, PhonesJester App: Sorry–you've been replaced by an app…
Imagery, RedneckRedneck Ingenuity: Redneck Ingenuity: Shoes for tyres.
Imagery, Sexist, TalkingWomen Use About 30,000 Words A Day: Did you know that women use about 30,000 words a day while men use only 15,000?
Marriage, Religious, Sexist, WivesGood & Obedient Wives: And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world…
Animals, Imagery, Languages, Latin, PigsPig Latin: Pig Latin…
Fish, Imagery, MermaidsReverse Mermaid: You are alone on an uninhabited island. Which of these would you choose as your companion?
Australia, Cars, Ghosts, Pub, Storm, SupernaturalA True Australian Ghost Story: This story happened a short while ago near Brisbane, and even though it sounds a little Alfred Hitchcock… it’s (supposedly) true.
Animals, Bears, Imagery, PenguinsDo One Brave Thing Today: Do one brave thing today… then run like hell!
Mayans, PredictionsMayans Predicting The Future: Calm down… If the Mayans were good at predicting the future, there would still be Mayans.
Blonde, Fruit, Ginger, Hair, Imagery, Strawberries, WomenGinger Versus Strawberry Blonde: This is a strawberry. This is ginger…
Homeless, SexistSledgehammer Psychology: A business man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner…
History, ImageryThe Most Difficult Thing To Explain To Someone From The 1950s: If someone from the 1950s suddenly appeared today, what would be the most difficult thing to explain to them about life today?
InternetMoronic Email Scam: Nigerian spam…
Australia, Democracy, Imagery, Political, RisquéAmazing Holes: Amazing Holes from Around the World.
Animals, Harry Potter, Horses, ImageryWingardium Levi-horse-a: Wingardium levi-horse-a!
Animals, Cats, Imagery, MetallicaMettalicat: Mettalicat: Sleeps with one eye open, gripping his pillow tight.
Animals, Imagery, PigsBacon Seed: Bacon seed.
Risqué, WorkThe Boss’s Quandary: The Boss’s Quandary…
Imagery, MondaysShortest Horror Story: Monday: Shortest horror story: Monday.
Imagery, WorkNothing To Do: In case of nothing to do, break glass and then sweep up broken glass.
Imagery, SexistHow Could You Be So Insensitive?: How Could You Be So Insensitive? This is what it looks like from the other person’s perspective.
GeekyQ209354 - HOWTO: How to RTFM…
Advertising, April Fools, Ikea, Imagery, Product Recalls, ToolsIKEA Product Recall: IKEA product recall advert on April Fools Day
Cars, Imagery, Movies, Pulp Fiction, The RockHave You Seen Pulp Fiction?: Have you seen Pulp Fiction? Yeah, but I didn’t like it.
ImageryProblem Solving Flowchart: A simple, and humorous, flowchart that successfully troubleshoots almost any problem you can think of.
Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryJust Being A Cat: Dog attacks person. Put dog to sleep. Cat attacks person. LOL, jus’ bein’ a cat.
Imagery, Men, SexistMen Have Feelings Too!: Men have feelings too! For example, we feel hungry.
Animals, Birds, Crows, Imagery, TrucksCrows Killed By Trucks: Why are so many crows killed by trucks?
Imagery, Toilets, VandalismToilet Vandalism: We buy things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like…
Alligators, Animals, Crocodiles, ImageryHow To Tell Alligators And Crocodiles Apart: It’s not that difficult to tell alligators and crocodiles apart…
Beer, Geeky, Imagery, WorkUltimate Camouflage: An office beer fridge…
Boobs, Elevators, Imagery, RisquéThis Morning, I Was Beaten Up By A Busy Woman In An Elevator: This morning, I was beaten up by a busy woman in an elevator. I was staring at her boobs when she said, “would you please press one?”. So I did. I don’t remember much after that.
America, Animated, Imagery, Obama, PoliticalThanks, Obama: Thanks, Obama.
Political, RisquéHillary Clinton Goes To Her Doctor For A Physical…: Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical…
Animals, Cows, Horses, ImageryThis Guy’s An Idiot! Quick, Take A Picture!: This guy’s an idiot! Quick, take a picture!
Bottles, Imagery, Messages, UsbModern Day Message In A Bottle: A USB stick in a bottle lying on the beach.
ImageryAll Images: All Images
Australia, Condoms, New Zealand, Racist, RisquéAustralian Condoms: New Zealand runs out of condoms…
Animals, Dachshunds, Dogs, Imagery, RacingDachshund Racing: Googled “dachshund racing”. Was not disappointed.
English, GrammarBipolar Awesome: English can be weird. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
Animals, Apples, Cats, Imagery, MathSeven Cats: If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?
Jokes, MathMath Joke: Math joke.
Animals, Cats, Imagery, Mayans, PredictionsWorst Apocalypse Ever: [A grumpy cat the day the Mayan calendar ended] “Still Here. Worst Apocalypse Ever.”
Banks, ImageryI Was Going To Make A Joke About A Bank, But Then I Lost Interest…: I was going to make a joke about a bank, but then I lost interest…
Advertising, ImageryColgate Dental Floss Advertising Campaign: Colgate have created an ingenious campaign to promote their dental floss.
Animals, Australia, Dangerous, ImageryDangerous Australia: It’s no wonder we all live here…
Doorbells, Imagery, Logan, RacistLogan Doorbell: To ring door bell, connect wires.
☺100 Guidelines On Becoming An Evil Villain: World domination is everyone’s dream. It’s not a bad job really…
Imagery, RisquéSave Paper: Save paper…
Imagery, RacistHas One Night Stand: Has one night stand, but way too many books to fit on it.
Bogans, Imagery, Iphone, SpeakersBogan Bass: Bogan Bass: Yet somehow still better than Beats by Dr Dre.
Facebook, InternetFacebook Farm: A dying granny tells her granddaughter, “I want to leave you my farm…
Animals, Imagery, LlamasGet In The Llama: No time to explain! Get in the llama…
Risqué, SexKeep Your Mouth Shut: If you don’t believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut!
Imagery, MilkLying About Skim Milk: There’s only one thing I hate more than lying. Skim milk, which is water that’s lying about being milk.
Campbell Newman, Imagery, Political, QueenslandCampbell Newman: Public Service: You Can Trust Me: [Campbell Newman laughing] …and then I said to the public service… you can trust me…
Daleks, Doctor Who, Geeky, RobotsWhat Would Robots From The 1960's…: What would robots from 1960’s and 1970’s TV say today with current software installed?
☺The Fellowship Of The Ring: The Fellowship of the Ring.
Animated, Flash, Illusion, ImageryIllusions: Warning: May induce epilepsy or cardiac arrest…
ImageryHoliday House: The Holiday House
Horror MoviesIf You Are Lonely, Dim All Lights: If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you’re alone anymore.
Animated, ImageryA Teaser: You must stare very closely at the door in this image for around 30 seconds…
Imagery, Signs, WarningsThrew Caution To The Wind: Looks like someone threw caution to the wind.
English, WordsI’m Awkward When People Compliment Me…: I’m awkward when people compliment me… “Nice hair” Me: “Thanks, I grew it myself”
Cars, ImageryCar Alarms: Car alarms: They piss me off!
☺Out Of Breath: Dispatcher: Emergency Services, how may I help you?
Animals, Flamingos, ImageryGarden Flamingo: Garden Flamingo…
Animated, Imagery, MedicalRoot Canal: Amusing animated image of root canal treatment
Autocorrect, Imagery, Iphone, SmsBroken Penis: I broke my penis and it exploded all over my pants.
Accidents, Cars, Imagery, Seatbelts, SexistNew Seatbelt Design: 45% Less Car Accidents!: A man driving a car while a woman sits beside him, with her seatbelt across her mouth, preventing her from commenting.
Geeky, SexistDear Tech Support: Girlfriend technical support…
Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, SexistAre Those Yours?: …they’re turning out so big and cute!
Coffee, Hipsters, Imagery, SignsHow Did The Hipster Burn His Tongue?: How did the hipster burn his tongue? He sipped on his coffee before it was cool.
Imagery, UniversityUniversity Website: Things on the front page of a university website.
Energy Drinks, Geeky, Imagery, Rubiks CubesMonster Energy Drinks & Rubiks Cubes: Monster energy drinks & Rubiks Cubes: Dude. You have a problem. Problem solved!
Computer Games, Imagery, Microsoft, XboxXbox One Vs. An Ordinary Brick: Xbox One vs. An Ordinary Brick: Price, DRM Free, Requires Internet, Region Locked…
Flying, Imagery, SportFlying – Because Golf Only Takes One Ball: Flying – because softball, baseball, football, basketball, soccer, bowling and golf only take one ball.
Cats, Imagery, MailboxesMailman Jumped 15 Feet: Mailman jumped 15 feet. Dog was right. This is fun.
Animals, Cats, ImageryI’m Glad You’re Up: I’ve put all of your folded shirts on the floor for you.
Animals, Dogs, Imagery, SnakesLong Dogs: A man walking two long dogs meets a man walking two normal dogs…
Imagery, Risqué, Tape Measures, ToolsBreakdown Of A Man’s Tape Measure Usage: Breakdown of a man’s tape measure usage
ImageryMichael Jackson's Dog: A rather mean impression of what Michael Jackson’s dog might look like, if it had similar surgery.
Imagery, Mafia, RecruitersRecruiters Are One Step Above The Mafia: Recruiters are one step above the Mafia…
Cooking, Frypans, ImageryNon-stick Frypan: A stuck non-stick frypan…
Imagery, Kim Jong-un, North Korea, SnickersKim, Eat A Snickers: Kim Jong-un: I’m going to nuke everyone. Kim, eat a Snickers. Kim: Why? Because you turn into a war mongler when you’re hungry. Better? Kim: Better.
ImageryWhat Is A Sonofabitch?: What is a sonofab*tch, exactly?
For Sale, Imagery, Posters, PrintersPrinter For Sale: Printer For Sale. Works Terribly.
Elderly, Hearing Aids, ImageryExpensive Hearing Aid: A man was telling his neighbour, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.”
Animals, ImageryFalling Cows: A roadsign showing a cow falling off a cliff and onto a car.
Hats, Imagery, SportYou Can’t Beat Stupid…: I wish they would invent something to keep the sun out of my eyes…
Imagery, Toilet PaperToilet Paper: A piece of toilet paper saving another piece…
GeekyHuman Hotfix: Hotfix Patch for Humans released.
Cars, Imagery, MosquitosA Mosquito With A Helmet: Mosquitos flying towards a car.
Animals, Horses, Imagery, SeahorsesSeahorse: I’m a seahorse. Your argument is invalid.
Apple, Computers, Flash, Geeky, Imagery, MacMacintosh: Mac Hater…
Advertising, Cigarettes, Imagery, Risqué, Sexist, VintageBlow In Her Face: Blow in her face and she'll follow you anywhere.
Browsers, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, WindowsFirefox Has Encountered…: …an unexpected problem with Windows.
English, WordsWhat Is A Word Made Up Of 4 Letters Yet Is Also Made Up Of 3: What is a word made up of 4 letters yet is also made up of 3. Although is written with 8 letters, and then with 4. Rarely consists of 6, and never is written with 5.
Imagery, SpidersSpider’s Remember: Remember when you threw a shoe at me and I fell somewhere behind the bed? I remember too.
Imagery, RisquéDon’t Fall For This: The CIA is trying to steal my…
Geeky, History, Internet, ItHow The Internet Started: A History Lesson: How the Internet Started: A History Lesson.
Imagery, PoliticalMad Magazine’s Boy Grows Up: The boy from Mad Magazine morphing into George Bush.
Animals, Cats, Imagery, KittensNo Sitz: I be here!
Imagery, Marriage, Onions, People, ProposingProposing With An Onion: Proposing with an onion: Guaranteed to cry.
Animals, Cats, Egyptians, Hieroglyphics, ImageryAncient Egyptians: Posting Cats To Their Walls Since 3150 BC: Ancient Egyptians: Posting cats to their walls since 3150 BC
Facebook, Imagery, Sexist, Sport, VolleyballLadies Beach Volleyball: Just been watching Ladies Beach Volleyball, and there’s already been a wrist injury… but I should be OK by Friday.
Awards, Imagery, Jobs, Roads, WorkThe Winner Of The “Not My Job” Award: The Winner of the “Not My Job” Award goes to…
ImageryThe Ego Boost Urinal: The Ego Boost Urinal.
Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryCat: The Dog Went Missing: Cat: The dog went missing? Hahaha! Hahaha! I’m sorry human. Hahaha… no seriously, I’m so sad…
Atoms, Imagery, SignsDo Not Trust Atoms: Do not trust atoms. They make up everything.
GrammarI. Like. It. How. When. You. Read. This. The. Little. Voice. In. Your. Head. Takes. Pauses.: I. Like. It. How. When. You. Read. This. The. Little. Voice. In. Your. Head. Takes. Pauses.
Emoji, Imagery, Phones, SmsEmoji: Alien blood transfusions are illegal for ghosts, but beach chickens win!
Accidents, Aeroplanes, Imagery, LuggageClosing Airline Luggage Doors: Closing Airline Luggage Doors.
Animals, Bikes, Frogs, Imagery, Kermit The FrogWrong Way: Wrong Way
Joke, MathMath Problem: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now?
Comics, English, ImageryThe Accidental Conversation Loop: My greatest social fear: The Accidental Conversation Loop.
Computer Games, Imagery, SexistCall Of Duty: Women’s Edition: Call of Duty: Women’s Edition.
PhrasesWhen Someone Yells “STOP”…: When someone yells “STOP”, I never know if it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammertime, or I should collaborate and listen…
Imagery, Risqué, SexistGrow Some Balls: Why do people say ‘grow some balls’?
Geeky, ImageryCaps Lock: A visual representation of the use of caps lock.
Computers, GeekyOperating System Airlines: Operating System Airlines.
Alligators, Animals, Crocodiles, Imagery, TurtlesTurtle Cavalry: Onward, alligator steed!
Fire, ImageryFire Distinguisher: Fire Distinguisher: Yep, that’s fire…
Coffee, Religious, SexistMorning Coffee: A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning…
Bananas, Food, Hats, ImageryBanana Hat: Banana hat…
Geeky, ImageryDelete Cookies: Delete cookies?!
Imagery, Numbers, Star WarsWhy Was Five Afraid Of Seven?: Why was Five afraid of Seven? Because Six Seven Eight.
Animals, Horses, Imagery, Knights, Monty Python, Riding, TvCouldn’t Find My Coconut Shells.: Was gonna ride to work today. Couldn’t find my coconut shells.
ImageryTechnically Correct: …but still wrong.
Animals, Birds, Chickens, Imagery, Rock And RollChook Heavy Metal Guitarist: A heavy metal guitarist chicken
Imagery, Phones, Sms, SmsLost Phone: A man sends SMS from a lost phone…
English, Grammar, Risqué, School, University, WritingShort Story: A college class was told they had to write a short story in as few words as possible.…
Imagery, Marriage, Men, WomenMarriage Secrets Of Highly Successful Couples: Marriage secrets of highly successful couples.
Imagery, ShipsA Ship Shipping Ship Shipping Shipping Ships.: A ship shipping ship shipping shipping ships.
Animals, Penguins, SleepIf Penguins Have Knees: 3 out of 4 voices in my head want to sleep (the other wants to know if penguins have knees!)
America, Imagery, North Korea, Obama, RacistNorth Korea: I Will Destroy America: North Korea: I will destroy America! Obama: Too late!
Jokes, Punography, PunsPunography: I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me…
Harry Potter, Imagery, SmsMaster Has Presented Dobby With Clothes! Dobby Is Free!: Well I’m grounded. WTF did you do this time? My Mum asked me to do the laundry and threw a sock at me… I ran away screaming “Master has presented Dobby with clothes! Dobby is free!”
Animals, Giraffes, Imagery, SpidersGiraffe Spider: A giraffe spots a spider…
Imagery, SexistBefore And After...: Before and after marriage…
Australia, Imagery, Kevin Rudd, PoliticalKevin Rudd’s Ego: Kevin Rudd’s Ego.
Animals, Cats, ImageryJust Wait Until I’m Fully Charged: Just wait until I’m fully charged…
America, Cia, Cocaine, Coke, Drugs, ImageryCIA: We Put The Coke In America: CIA: we put the coke in America.
Bananas, Food, Imagery, SuicideSuicidal Bananas: A collection of suicidal bananas.
Africa, Apple, Imagery, Ipad, StarvingThinner Than Ever: Thinner than ever.
Agony Aunt, Cheating, Dear Abby, Imagery, Motorbikes, Relationships, SexistDear Abby, I’ve Never Written To You Before…: Dear Abby, I’ve never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision…
Cars, Dumbledore, Harry Potter, Imagery, PetrolExpecto Petroleum!: Expecto Petroleum!
Animals, Fire, Imagery, SpidersThere Was A Spider, I Panicked: There was a spider, I panicked. But I think it’s gone now.
Imagery, Osama Bin Laden, Sport, Terrorists, Weight LiftingOsama Bin Liftin’: Osama Bin Liftin’
Animals, Animated, ImageryLesson Of The Day: You should never do anything wrong, it will catch up with you…
Animals, Cats, Godzilla, Imagery, KittensGodzilla Kitten: Terrifyingly cute…
Animals, Dogs, ImageryHow The Hell Is The Ball Still In Your Hand?: How the hell is the ball still in your hand?
Illusion, ImageryRound Illusion: Unusual round illusion.
France, Germany, Imagery, RacistAngela Merkel Arrives At Passport Control At Paris Airport…: Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control at Paris airport. “Nationality?” asks the immigration officer. “German,” she replies. “Occupation?” “No, just here for a few days.”
Cars, Geeky, TechnologyCars And Computers: General Motors doesn’t have a help line for people who don’t know how to drive because people don’t buy cars like they buy computers, but imagine if they did…
Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, VintageDormeyer Crying Wives: Wives: Look this ad over carefully. Circle the items you want for Christmas. Show it to your husband. If he does not go to the store immediately, cry a little…
Coolers, Imagery, SexistIf A Man Says He Will Fix It, He Will: If a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months.
Imagery, RisquéHebrew Cave Paintings: Written across the wall of the cave were the following symbols…
RacistAmerican History 101: American History 101
ImagerySuper Batman: The Super Batman back pack, exclusive from China!
Imagery, KnittingWinter Knitting: What are you going to knit this winter?
GeekyHow Many Does It Take...: How many forum posters does it take to change a light bulb?
Imagery, TurtlesA Wee Turtle: A wee turtle…
Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, SexistDream Girl: Girl on beach with six breasts.
Dinosaurs, Imagery, MuseumsTrannysaurus: Trannysaurus: You’re fired.
Cold, Flu, Illness, Imagery, Man Flu, SexistMan Flu: The difference between men & women when they are sick.
Hunger Games, Imagery, Katniss Everdeen, Kristen Stewart, Movies, Movie Stars, Smiling, TwilightKristen Stewart Smiles: I don’t always smile, but when I do, I don’t.
Animals, Dogs, Imagery, Werewolves, WolvesAware Wolf: A werewolf. A wearwolf. A warewolf. Aware wolf.
Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Internet ExplorerBrowser Wars: Browser Wars: Chrome versus Firefox… and Internet Explorer…
Facebook, Imagery, MoneyHow To Make Money From Facebook: How to make money from facebook: 1) just go to “Account Settings”; 2) Press “Deactivate your account”; 3) Go to work.
Chocolate, Geeky, Homes, Honey, Imagery, Milk, PhonesQuite Literally…: I phone, you tube. Hi honey, I’m home. Chocolate milk shake.
Bikes, Imagery, PostsHave You Seen This Post?: Have you seen this post? He didn’t.
Bikes, Geeky, It, SexistAn IT Student Is Walking Along With His Bike…: An IT student is walking along with his bike…
Advertising, Gay, Imagery, Showers, VintageBradley Group Showers: Bradley Group Showers.
Helpline, Imagery, Phones, YogaYoga Emergency Hotline: Yoga Emergency Hotline, how may I help you?
Bill Gates, Imagery, Mario, North Korea, Star Wars, WinrarThe Good Guys Of The World: These are the Good Guys of the World.
Imagery, SpicesSeasons Greetings: Seasons Greetings
Imagery, Internet, SwordsSwords Of The Centuries: Swords of the Centuries
Business Cards, Geeky, Imagery, Notepad, WindowsNotepad Business Card: A business card styled to look like Windows Notepad.
Books, ImageryRead Your Book Case: A bookcase worth reading.
Guns, Imagery, ToastToast Toasts Toast?: If guns don’t kill people, people kill people, does that mean…
Animals, Imagery, Lightbulbs, Mice, Risqué, SexHow Many Mice Does It Take To Screw In A Lightbulb?: How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Facebook, Imagery, NewspapersReal Life Facebook: I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles…
Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, Lotr, PizzaBrace Yourself. Pizza Is Coming.: Brace Yourself. Pizza is coming.
Imagery, Posters, ScienceLost Wormhole: Do not attempt capture because you’ll totally screw with the space/time continuum bro.
Animals, ImageryCat Legs: There really isn’t much else to say about this.
Dogs, ImageryMy Dog Bailey Tried To Steal Stuff Out Of My Daughter’s Purse.: My dog Bailey tried to steal stuff out of my daughter’s purse. He got stuck and came over to me for help.
Dating, Imagery, Relationships, SexistAnd Then I Said: And Then I Said… The Differences Between Boys & Girls.
America, English, Imagery, RacistEnglish (Traditional) And English (Simplified): English (Traditional) and English (Simplified).
Animals, Cats, ImageryDid You Try Jumping Off The Refrigerator Too?: Did you try jumping off the refrigerator too?
SexistMen’s Rules: We always hear the rules from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side…
Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, Vintage, VitaminsThe Harder A Wife Works, The Cuter She Looks: So the harder a wife works, the cuter she looks!
Animals, Elephants, Imagery, RisquéElephant Upskirt: Elephant Upskirt.
Medical, RisquéBetter Than A Flu Shot: Better than a Flu Shot
Animals, Australia, Birds, Dingoes, Dolphins, Fish, Galahs, Imagery, Kangaroos, Koalas, Kookaburras, Parrots, Penguins, Snakes, Toads, TurtlesAccurate Animal Names: Australian Edition: Accurate Animal Names: Australian Edition
WorkMergers: Amusing mergers.
RisquéTest Your Subconscious: This revolutionary test will expose the secret desires from your subconscious…
Angels, Imagery, Red Bull, SculpturesRed Bull Gives You Wings: Red Bull Gives You Wings.
Beaches, Imagery, Irish, SunbathingIrish Girl Sunbathing: An Irish girl sunbathes…
Parties, WatchesNot On My Watch: Lost my watch at a party once…
Cars, Imagery, Roads, SignsTired? Powernap Now.: Tired? Powernap now.
ImageryBatman Downsized: Batman forced to downsize with increase in petrol prices…
Animals, Drugs, Imagery, RabbitsHigh Rabbits: Two rabbits getting high on marijuana.
Advertising, Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Phones, TechnologyIPhone 10 – The Tallest IPhone Yet: A mock-up of the iPhone 10, after the launch of the “taller” iPhone5.
Imagery, TvThinking Outside The Square: A sideways television.
Advertising, Gay, Imagery, Ovaltine, VintageTo Wake Up Gay In The Morning…: To wake up gay in the morning just try this at Bedtime Tonight!
Imagery, RisquéAdult Dog Store: A dog carries an inflatable leg from an Adult Dog Store.
Geeky, Imagery, Sexist, WomenHazardous Materials Data Sheet – Woman: Hazardous Materials Data Sheet – Woman.
English, Grammar, Imagery, School, TeachersGrammar Vandal: When English teachers snap: Sorry Ma’am, but bad grammar is no excuse for vandalism.
America, Democracy, PoliticalHow To Know When You’ve Met A Democrat: Just in case you have trouble knowing when you’ve met a Democrat…
Imagery, Monday, Punch, WorkThe Monday Punch: The Monday Punch: A man punched in the face.
Africa, Animals, ImageryRhino Painting: A rhinoceros painting…
Balloons, Cars, ImageryMissile Balloons: Missile Balloons.
Einstein, ImageryYou Matter: You are living, you occupy space, you have a mass… you matter.
Animals, Imagery, SealsThe Seal Of Approval: The Seal of Approval…
Hippies, Imagery, ShirtsPassive Agressive Hippie: Passive Agressive Hippie: You want a [peace sign] of me?
Imagery, Money, Monopoly, StrippersMonopoly Money For Fake Boobs: I think it’s only fair to throw monopoly money at strippers with fake boobs.
AlcoholCalm Living: I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me today, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives.
Animals, JokePygmy Dinosaur Hunter: The Pygmy Dinosaur Hunter…
Imagery, JokeHow Many Alzheimer’s Patients Does It Take?: To get to the other side!
Bikes, Imagery, NoticesBicycles Chained To These Railings Will Be Removed Without Notice.: Bicycles chained to these railings will be removed without notice. This is a notice, you idiot!
Animated, Illusion, ImageryTwo Person Optical Illusion: Optical illusion: Keep your eyes on the cross, and see what happens.
Jewellery, Jokes, Puns, RingsSomeone Stole My Mood Ring: Someone stole my mood ring.
Imagery, Newspapers, TechnologyAll This Technology Is Making Us Antisocial: All this technology is making us antisocial: A tram full of people ignoring each other and reading the newspaper.
Cars, Imagery, MessagesThe 710 Cap: Hun I have a problem in my car…
Cars, ImageryHome Mechanics: Home Mechanics and their cars.
Animals, Bananas, Dogs, Food, ImageryBanana Dogs: Banana Dogs.
Imagery, Jokes, ScrabbleScrabble Jokes: I accidentally swallowed some scrabble tiles… My next dump could spell disaster.
Cars, ImageryGarage Door Covers: Amusing garage door covers
Duct Tape, Imagery, WorkEmergency Bridge Repair Team: Duct Tape: Good for anything.
Animals, Cows, ImageryA Cow Getting A Back Scratch: A cow getting a back scratch.
Comics, Imagery, VeganI Am Going Vegan: I am going vegan
Australia, Imagery, Logan, RacistAll Trades Logan: All Trades Logan.
Aboriginal, Australia, RacistAboriginal Eggs: Two Aboriginal lads are riding along the Hume Highway on a motorbike…
Illusion, ImageryThey See Us Rollin’: They See Us Rollin’… We Aren’t…
Australia, Imagery, Matches, Pauline Hanson, Political, Redheads, RednecksRednecks: Redneck Matches…
Animals, Cats, Imagery, LionsA Cat With A Lion’s Mane Hat: A cat with a lion’s mane hat.
Canada, Flutes, Imagery, SignsCanada Has A Serious Epidemic: Protect yourself and others from the flute.
Cyclones, Imagery, SupermarketsCyclone Magic Trick: Wanna see a magic trick?
Bones, ImageryI Found This Humerus: I found this humerus.
Daleks, Dr Who, Food, Garlic, Imagery, TvGarlek: Garlek.
Animals, Chickens, Chicks, ImageryHow To Pick Up Chicks: Instructional guide on how to pick up chicks.
Imagery, RocksMy Pet Rock Ran Away: My Pet Rock Ran Away…
Exams, Imagery, Signs, University, UqIn Class Vs. In Your Exam: In class vs. in your exam.
Babies, Imagery, PregnancyPregnancy Tips: Some useful pregnancy tips…
Apple, Computers, Decals, Imagery, Laptops, Mac, Macbook, Stickers, TechnologyCreative Apple MacBook Stickers: A collection of creative Apple MacBook stickers & decals.
Droids, Imagery, Star WarsLook, Sir. Droids!: These are not the droids you are looking for.
Imagery, R2-d2, Star Wars, TvThe Most Vulgar Character Of All Time: R2D2: They beeped out every single word he said
Imagery, RisquéJelly Orgy: A jelly orgy.
Food, Imagery, PizzaI Just Burned 1500 Calories In About Five Minutes: I just burned 1500 calories in about five minutes. I forgot the pizza was in the oven.
Diving, Imagery, Sharks, Sign LanguageA Signal They Forgot To Teach You In Your Open Water Class.: Big shark behind you: A signal they forgot to teach you in your open water class.
☺Perfect Existence: Perfect Existence: The Proof
Agony Aunt, Cheating, Clinton, Dear Abby, Dear Abby, Political, RelationshipsDear Abby, My Husband Is A Liar And A Cheat…: My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything…
Animals, Dogs, Drugs, Imagery, MethMeth Lab Dog: Yellow Lab, Black Lab, Chocolate Lab, Meth Lab!
Animals, Cars, Donkeys, ImageryA BMW Donkey: A BMW donkey. Not much more to be said really.
Bananas, Fruit, ImageryAppealing Attire: I find this attire… appeeling.
Imagery, ToiletsWalked Into A Public Bathroom: Walked into a public bathroom. Saw this and heard “hello?”
Food, Imagery, Pasta, TrucksPasta Truck: A pasta truck, or a very large pasta.
SchoolThe History Of The World: The History of the World, as written by the next generation…
Imagery, SignsAlways Give 100%: Whatever you do always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.
Comics, ImageryHorton Hears The Who: Horton Hears the Who
Computers, ImageryChecking On A Slow Progress Bar: Checking on a slow progress bar.
Computers, GeekyMicrosoft Lightbulb Jokes: Microsoft Lightbulb Jokes.
Funerals, Imagery, Italian, RacistThe Italian Funeral: Pasquale died. His will provided ,000 for an elaborate funeral…
Fish, ImageryThe Swordfish: The swordfish has few predators to worry about in the wild, except for the seldom seen penfish which is said to be even mightier.
Bugs Bunny, Cartoons, Daffy Duck, Donald Duck, Goofy, Imagery, Looney Tunes, Mickey Mouse, Porky Pig, Road Runner, Tom And Jerry, Wile E CoyoteJust To Make You Feel Really Old: Just to make you feel really old…
Bags, Imagery, ShoppingI’ll Be Bag: A bag titled “I’ll Be Bag”
Beer, Imagery, Logan, Prams, Racist, Victoria BitterLogan Priorities: Logan Priorities.
Dinosaurs, Imagery, Political, SpyingIf You’re Not Doing Anything Wrong, You Shouldn’t Have Anything To Hide: The government says “If you’re not doing anything wrong, you shouldn’t have anything to hide.” If that is true, shouldn’t the government declassify everything?
Imagery, RisquéPull Out & Save: Save up to $600!
Drugs, Imagery, Meth, R2-d2, Robots, Star WarsMeth: Before & After: Meth: Before & After (or R2-D2 versus R2-FU).
Beer, ImagerySix Die In Horror Smash: Six Die in Horror Smash.
ImageryBest Way To Freak Out Your Friends: Best way to freak out your friends: Do not open unless you plan to kill it (written on an upside down container)
Imagery, Topgear, TvIs There Anything Worse Than A Lego For Stepping On In The Middle Of The Night?: Is there anything worse than a Lego for stepping on in the middle of the night? A landmine.
Accidents, Cars, Imagery, TargetMissed Target: Missed Target: So close…
Imagery, StoneNothing Is Written In Stone: Nothing is Written in Stone…
Animals, Dogs, Imagery, Phones, SmsTexts From My Dog: My dog sends me texts…
Australia, Games, Imagery, ReligiousThanks God: God and the Rubiks Cube…
ImageryLow Battery Warning: Plug in or find another power source. Or panic now!
Imagery, WifiWireless Networks: Wireless networks could save your life!
Animals, Elephants, ImageryIt’s Just One Of Those Days: A baby elephant falls in the mud.
America, Animals, Australia, Birds, Eagles, Imagery, RacistAmerican Bald Eagle Vs Australian Wedge Tail Eagle: American Bald Eagle vs. Australian Wedge Tail Eagle.
ImageryApostrophe, Catastrophe: Apostrophe, Catastrophe.
Australia, Imagery, Nrl, Nsw, Qld, Rugby, SportNSW Playing Economically: 2 Punches Per Gallen.: NSW playing economically. 2 punches per Gallen.
Adobe, Geeky, Imagery, UpdatesAdobe Updates: I don’t always have an update…
Geeky, Imagery, InternetSlashdot For Dummies: Slashdot for Dummies – A Reference for the Rest of Us!
Boobs, Imagery, RisquéWater Enhanced Breasts: Water Enhanced Breasts…
Animals, Dogs, ImageryDog Poo Bin: If your dog does a poo please put it in a litter bin.
Animals, Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, OttersFilthy Hobitses: Filthy Hobitses
Imagery, TattoosFree Tattoo Removal: Free (and perhaps painful) tattoo removal.
DrugsGranny LSD: Boy asks his Granny, “Have you seen my pills labelled ‘LSD’?”
ImageryProcrastination Issues: I’m taking care of my procrastination issues; just you wait and see.
Imagery, RisquéFingering A Minor: Fingering A Minor for hours on my bed.
Imagery, Sexist, WomenFeminine Instincts: If a girl ever pulls out a knife on you during an argument, pull out some bread and mayo. Her feminine instincts will kick in and she’ll make you a sandwich.
Animals, Imagery, WhalesThe Hey Whale: The Hey Whale. It defies description.
C Sharp, Developers, Geeky, Imagery, Java, ProgrammersWhy Do Java Developers Wear Glasses?: Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#!
Halloween, Imagery, Pumpkins, VegetablesAngry Pumpkin Man: Angry Pumpkin Man: Come at me bro!
Comics, Guns, Hands, ImageryHands In The Air!: Hands in the air! Now wave them around like you just don’t care!
Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, PhonesIPhone 6 Repair Kit: iPhone 6 repair kit.
Accidents, Animals, Cats, Imagery, LaddersHumans Don’t Land On Their Feet: Gee you’re right, humans don’t land on their feet.
Africa, Animals, Cats, Imagery, Lions, TouristsThe Best Photo Caption: A western woman in Africa—presumably a tourist—squats to go to the toilet in the bush, pants down, toilet paper in hand, her backpack in the grass nearby; unaware a lion is sneaking up behind her. Captioned “if she hasn’t… she will soon”.
Geology, Imagery, SchoolGeology: Name the three types of rock.
Imagery, LoveThis Summarises My Love Life: This summarises my love life. I’m the guy in blue…
Australia, Democracy, Political, RacistThe Ant And The Grasshopper: The Original Story of the Ant and the Grasshopper.
Drugs, Imagery, Marijuana, SexistI Tried Pot Once. Now I’m Gay!: I tried pot once. Now I’m gay!
Bread, Food, Imagery, TonguesPlease Use Tongue.: Do not touch bread with hands. Please use tongue.
Children, Dating, Imagery, Internet, RisquéLittle Kid Lover: I’m signing up for an online dating service. I just need to pick a username. “Little Kid Lover”, that way people will know where my priorities are at.
Alcohol, Drunk, ImagerySlur In Cursive: When I drink, I don’t slur my words… I speak in cursive.
BabiesA Baby’s Laughter Is One Of The Most Beautiful Sounds You’ll Ever Hear: A baby’s laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you’ll ever hear. Unless it’s 3 AM, you’re home alone, and you don’t have a baby.
SexistPunctuation Is Powerful.: Punctuation is powerful.
Animals, Imagery, WhalesPaper, Scissors, Whale!: Scissors cut paper again! I hate this game…
WorkExecutive Test: The following short quiz consists of four questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a “professional”…
Animals, ImageryWhat Animals Dream...: What animals dream.
Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, Nokia, PhonesIPhone 5 Plus Versus Nokia 3310: iPhone 6 Plus versus Nokia 3310: Does it bend?
SexistMars Vs. Venus: Mars versus Venus…
Imagery, PhotographyOlympus Fights Back: Olympus Fights Back: Canon versus Olympus
Apple, Imagery, Ios, Ios7, Iphone, Mobiles, PhonesThe New IPhone 5C With IOS 7: The new iPhone 5C with IOS 7.
Dates, ImageryMay The 4th Be With You: If today is “May the 4th be with you” does that mean tomorrow is “revenge of the 5th?”
Canada, RacistAn Ontarian Wanted To Become A Newfie…: An Ontarian wanted to become a Newfie…
Advertising, Food, Fountain, Imagery, Tomato Sauce, WoolworthsBuy Two & Receive A Free Fountain Face!: Buy two and receive a Free Fountain Face!
Imagery, MedicalHearing Aids: Hearing aids…
Geeky, ImageryBlackboard: School kid writing Code on blackboard as punishment.
ImageryAwkward Moment: The awkward when you already said “moment” in your head before you read it.
Imagery, ScissorsI Run With Scissors: I run with scissors: It makes me feel dangerous.
Animals, Chocolate, Easter, Easter Bunnies, Imagery, RabbitsJust Some Bunny That I Used To Know: Now you’re just some bunny that I used to know.
Imagery, Keith Urban, MusiciansKeith Urban Accepted As Genuine Humanoid: Clint Felmingham: Did you know? Keith Urban is accepted by many Americans as a genuine humanoid/musician. Urban, a polymer composite (90% polyethene, 8% alcohol, 2% minor celebrity), was manufactured in Caboolture, Australia in 1987..
America, Guns, Imagery, Police, RacistAnd I Was All Like, Pew Pew Pew!: And I was all like, pew pew pew! Pew pew pew! ‘Merica!
Animals, Dogs, Drugs, High, ImageryDog, How High Are You?: Dog, how high are you? Yes.
Imagery, Political, Politicians, Prostitutes, RisquéHonest Politician: Hi! I’m 32. I’m a politician and I’m honest. Hi. I’m 29, I’m a prostitute and I’m a virgin.
Babies, Cars, Imagery, StickersBaby On Board: Baby on Board
Alcohol, Imagery, Irish, RacistIrish Yoga: Irish Yoga.
Irish, Racist, ReligiousAn Irish Daughter Had Not Been To Her Parent's House For Over Five Years...: An Irish daughter had not been to her parent’s house for over five years…
Animals, Imagery, OttersOtter Nonsense: I’ve had it up to here with your otter nonsense…
Animals, Cats, ImageryCat In A Cat Box: A cat in a Cat box.
Flash, ImagerySteady Hand – A Game Of Skill: A game of skill, requiring a steady hand and keen eye – make sure you play at least the first two levels…
Alligators, America, Animals, Australia, Bears, Birds, Crocodiles, Europe, Imagery, Moose, Puma, Rabbits, Sharks, Snakes, SpidersMost Dangerous Animals: How people in the colonies are still alive is beyond me…
Beer, Calendars, Imagery, Mayans, Predictions2 Mayan Guys: [2 Mayan Guys] Wanna beer? I’m working on this calendar, but I guess if I don’t finish it won’t be the end of the world.
Cars, Imagery, Time TravelAnnual Meeting Of Time Travellers: Annual Meeting of Time Travellers.
ImageryKermit Sees The Doctor: Have a seat Kermit. What I’m about to tell you might come as a big shock…
Animals, Imagery, SharksFlying Sharks: Flying sharks… we’re screwed.
Einstein, Imagery, Phones, TechnologyThe Day Einstein Feared: The day that Einstein feared may have finally arrived.
Animals, Australia, Cats, Horse Racing, Horses, Imagery, Jockeys, Melbourne Cup, SportMelbourne Cup Cat Horse: Melbourne Cup Cat Horse.
Alcohol, Cooking, Imagery, WineCooking With Wine: I tried cooking supper with wine tonight. Didn’t go so well. After 5 glasses I forgot why I was even in the kitchen.
Beaches, Imagery, WomenBitches Be Trippin’: Bitches be trippin’
Bikes, ImagerySquare Bike: Surprisingly good riding down stairs… not so good on the flat.
Imagery, Self-help, SexSex Maniac: Dear Dr Ruth, I’m writing to tell you my problem. It seems I have been married to a sex maniac for the past 22 years…
SexistEvening Classes For Men: Instructive evening classes for men…
Epilepsy, Imagery, PostersSeize The Day: Seize The Day: Sign up for the Epilepsy Awareness Walk.
Acrobats, Books, ImageryAcrobat Reader: An acrobat reader…
Evolution, ImageryEvolution: Stop Following Me!: The typical “evolution of man” poster, except the man is facing his “earlier ancestors” saying “Stop following me!”
Imagery, New Years, ResolutionsNew Year’s Resolutions – Again: New Year’s Resolutions – Again
Biology, Imagery, MathBiology, Multiplication And Division: Biology – the only science where multiplication and division mean the same thing…
Animals, Cats, Geeky, ImagerySchrödinger’s Cat: Wanted: Dead & Alive…
Imagery, Tools, Work, ZombiesIn Case Of Zombies: In case of zombies… or yard work…
Guns, ImageryCrayon Gun: A fantastic gun made from many every-day items.
Facebook, ImageryFacebook Illusion: Facebook: Providing the illusion you have friends since 2004!
Animals, Eggs, Giraffes, ImageryGiraffe Egg: Giraffe Egg.
English, Etymology, Imagery, Languages, SpanishEntero Somewhere Elso: English: Do Not Enter Here; Spanish: Entero Somewhere Elso.
Animated, Illusion, Imagery, Impossible Triangle, Penrose TrianglePenrose Triangle: Penrose Triangle Animation.
Cpr, First Aid, Imagery, SchoolCPR Diagram: You’re next!
Apple, Imagery, Ios, PatentsOlden Day Slide To Unlock: Slide to unlock: Apple patent #1964022.
Geeky, ItDeclaration Of A Software Professional: Declaration of a Software Professional.
Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryDear Dog: Dear Dog… a letter from the cat.
Emergency, Imagery, Out Of OrderEmergency: Out Of Order: Please do not have an emergency!
Imagery, Signs, SpringSpring Is Here. I’m So Excited I Wet My Plants!: Spring is here. I’m so excited I wet my plants!
America, France, Ireland, Irish, Racist, RisquéThe Penis Study: The American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man’s penis was larger than the shaft…
English, Grammar, ImageryGrammar Matters: Two Google searches: One for “how can u” and one for “how can an individual”
Elderly, MemoryElderly Memories: An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen…
Arguments, English, Grammar, ImageryArgument Typo: Heh I was almost forced to face the fact that my argument was bad but I see here that you made a typo hahaha tough luck pal.
Geeky, Imagery, MeditationGeek Meditation Session: In your mind’s browser, clear your cache… now delete your history… now navigate to a blank web page…
Animals, Crocodiles, ImageryCrocodile Lion: An interesting dinnertime story…
Advertising, Babies, ImageryGood Things Are Twice As Good In Cellophane: Good things are twice as good in Cellophane!
Beer, Imagery, SexistYou Never Listen To Me…: You never listen to me! You only hear what you want to hear!
Imagery, Math, PiWife Of Pi: He’s irrational and he goes on and on…
Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Internet Explorer, Mac, WindowsCan Your Mac Do This?: Can your Mac do this? I don’t think so…
Illusion, ImageryConfused Carpentry: A Carpenter’s Nightmare.
☺Comments & Other Similar Social Data: Comments, Facebook Open Graph, & Other Similar Social Data.
Android, Galaxy Note, Imagery, Phones, Samsung, TechnologyBattery Fully Charged. Unplug Charger.: In what is perhaps one of the more stupid “features” on my Samsung Galaxy Note, when it reaches full charge, it lights up its screen and pops up and audible alert saying “Battery fully charged. Unplug charger.” As I charge my phone at night, it is effectively an extremely annoying unwanted wake-up call.
Blonde, Cars, SexistBlondeStar: What to do when you’re locked inside your car, and the keys are outside…
Australia, Gillard, PoliticalPatriotic Retirement Plan: Ms Gillard’s Patriotic Retirement Plan.
Geeky, Imagery, Scientific, UniversityHow People In Science See Each Other: How People in Science See Each Other.
ImageryFingers Move: I think you’re spending too much time on the computer. Your fingers move when you talk…
Redneck, TechnologyTechnology For Country Folk: Technology for Country Folk.
Cars, ImageryThe Park Anywhere Button: Self-explanatory really.
Adelaide, Australia, Chairs, Disaster, Earthquake, ImageryThe 2011 Adelaide Earthquake: The 2011 Adelaide Earthquake: We will rebuild.
Religious, Risqué, WorkCorporate Lessons: Corporate lessons.
France, Imagery, North Korea, RacistFrance Surrenders To North Korea: France surrenders to North Korea
Animated, Flash, Geeky, ImageryL33t H4x0r R0m30 4nd Jul13t: Tales for the L33T - ROMEO+JULIET
Illusion, ImageryMoving Illusion: A psychedelic illusion where a brightly coloured non-moving image appears to be pulsating in and out.
Geeky, JokesIntellectual Jokes: Believing this statement will make you happier.
Africa, Bus, ImageryDo You Ever Get So Angry…: Do you ever get so angry… you throw a VCR at a burning bus?
Food, ImageryWurst Nightmare: Hi. I’m your wurst nightmare.
Books, Imagery, Lance Armstrong, LibrariesLance Armstrong Fiction Books: All non-fiction Lance Armstrong books including “Lance Armstrong: Images of a Champion”, “The Lance Armstrong Peprformance Program” and “Lance Armstrong: World’s Greatest Champion” will soon be moved to the fiction section.
☺Pregnancy & Women: Questions: Pregnancy & Women: Frequently Asked Questions
Geeky, JokesIP Jokes: I’d tell you a UDP joke, but you may not get it.
Cosmetics, ImageryPapercut Locator: Papercut Locator.
Illusion, ImageryIllogical Lego: Illogical Lego.
Imagery, Rallies, Sexist, WomenWhat Women Want: Who are we? Women! What do we want? We don’t know! When do we want it? NOW!
Apple, Computers, Imagery, Religious, Steve JobsHe’s Gonna Upgrade Your Tablets…: Moses, meet Steve. He’s gonna upgrade your tablets…
SexistEx Wife: The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my ex-wife…
Imagery, SportHandegg: Football versus Handegg: It’s not football…
America, Imagery, RacistAmerican Measures: American Measures: An Arbitrary Retarded Rollercoaster
Animals, Imagery, RisquéOld Style Birth Control: Old Style Birth Control.
Cars, Imagery, RacingTimes Were Tough Before The GoPro: Times were tough before the GoPro…
Animals, Imagery, RacoonsOh… Hi… Umm… Meow?: Oh… hi… Umm… meow?
Comics, Dancing, Imagery, Ireland, Irish, Irish DanceThe Book Of Irish Dance: Volume Two: Whilst doing a long overdue clearout at the offices of Ireland’s oldest and most respected school of dance, Mrs O’Hara made a terrible discovery…
Geeky, MusicWhat If The Beatles Had Been Computer Freaks?: What if the Beatles had been computer freaks?
Animals, Antelopes, ImageryDid You Know There Is A Species Of Antelope Capable Of Jumping Higher Than The Average House?: Did you know there is a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house? This is due to its powerful hind legs and the fact that the average house cannot jump.
Imagery, Jokes, Paper, Puns, SignsTearable Puns: These are tearable puns.
Beer, Imagery, RacistHow People From Around The World Open Beer: People from around the world opening beer in their own unique ways.
Bananas, Food, Imagery, PhonesBanana Phone: It’s a banana phone…
Animals, Cats, Ducks, Imagery, SeagullsCat Duck: The Amazing Cat Duck! Or perhaps Cat Seagull?
Engineering, Flowcharts, Geeky, ImageryEngineering Flowchart: Nothing duct tape and WD-40 can’t fix…
Babies, Imagery, RisquéI Will Deprive You Of Sex: I will deprive you of sex all night with my crying and then suck on your wife’s tits in the morning.
SexistMen Vs. Women: Men versus women…
Cars, Imagery, TrucksDriver Is Fully Naked: Driver carries less than $50 cash and is fully naked.
Animals, Chocolate, Dogs, Heaven, ImageryA Dog Dies: Can I Have Chocolate?: A dog dies and finds out chocolate killed him.
New Zealand, RacistKiwi Air Disaster: New Zealand’s worst air disaster occurred earlier today…
Sexist, WorkDon’t Copy If You Can’t Paste: Don’t copy if you can’t paste…
Imagery, Jobs, WorkHonesty: Your Greatest Weakness: Interviewer: What would you consider to be your greatest weakness?
Advertising, Australia, Billboards, CarsRAC Roadside Assistance Meltdown: You don’t want to be stuck out here.
Accidents, Cars, ImagerySorry: A Bus Accident: Sorry: A Bus Accident
Advertising, Imagery, Rice, Risqué, Sexist, VintageVa-Rice-Ity: My Man Likes Something Unexpected…: My man likes something unexpected now and then. That’s why I serve him rice.
Computer Games, ImageryVideo Games Don’t Make Us Violent – Lag Does!: Video games don’t make us violent – lag does!
Imagery, Memory, Protests, RalliesBetter Memory: What do we want? Better memory! When do we want it? Want what?
Animals, Imagery, RacistBlack Bears: Uh oh Howard. Looks like this area has black bears…
Computer Games, Computers, ImageryPlay Outside: It’s a beautiful day. I really want you to go outside and play.
Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, PhonesIPhone 6 Comparison: iPhone 6 Plus Comparison.
Breakfast, ImageryHow Did You Get In My House?: If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple “Thank you” is all I need. Not all this “How did you get in my house?” business.
Children, Cleaning, Imagery, MopsStupid Child Efficiency Mop: Stupid Child Efficiency Mop. Wipe high-efficiently.
Computers, GeekyUnix Commands: Amusing UNIX commands.
ImageryCute Party Trick: Man with finger up nose and out of eye.
Children, Imagery, ParentingAn Angry Child: If she doesn’t put me down in about two seconds, I will be forced to use my fist!
ImageryCockroach Cancer: Please, don’t throw your cigarette butts on the floor…
Australia, Bbq, Cooking, Food, SexistBarbecue Etiquette: Aussie Barbecue Season.
Money, SexistFemale Financial Planning: Women are so much better at financial planning than men.
Cars, ImageryAbove The Law Like A Boss: Above the law like a boss: removing a wheel clamp.
☺The Poodle And The Leopard: Experience trumps youth.
Animals, ImagerySeven Sharks: If you own 7 cats then people will think you’re crazy…
Animals, Boobs, Imagery, SlothsLook At This Boob: Look at this boob. This is a nice boob.
Alphabet, Doctors, ImageryThe Medical Alphabet: The Medical Alphabet
☺Pages By Date: A list of all the pages, sorted by their last updated or creation dates.
Hammer, ImageryStop! Hammer Time: Stop! Hammer Time!
Imagery, RisquéAncient Japanese Proverb: Ancient Japanese Proverb. If you cannot understand Japanese, tilt your head to the right…
ImageryMartha Stewart’s New Digs: Martha Stewart’s New Digs
Christian, Imagery, Jewish, Muslim, RacistAn Atheist, A Jew, And A Christian Walk Into A Bar…: An atheist, a Jew, and a Christian walk into a bar…
Illusion, ImageryAfterburn - Whom Do You See?: Relax and concentrate on the four small dots in the middle of the picture…
Imagery, RisquéFlower Porn: Even flowers do it…
ImageryCharlie Sheen For Halloween: No, you can’t be Charlie Sheen for Halloween.
George Bush, Imagery, Iran, Political, Weapons Of Mass Destruction, WmdI Can’t Believe The “WMD” Trick Is Working Again With Iran: I can’t believe the “WMD” trick is working again with Iran. Suckers…
Boobs, Cars, Imagery, Risqué, SexistShe Might Scratch The Paint: I know what you’re thinking… she might scratch the paint.
Animals, Imagery, KangaroosI Said Be Quiet! Don’t Make Me Come In There!: I said be quiet! Don’t make me come in there!
English, VegetablesThe Correct Way To Spell Potato: The correct way to spell potato is “GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU”.
Boobs, Imagery, RisquéBoob Staring: Shirt: Please tell your boobs to quit staring at my eyes.
Apple, Imagery, Ipad, Portal, Technology, ValveValve’s “Portal”, As An IPad Decoration.: Valve’s “Portal”, as an iPad decoration.
Advertising, Imagery, Men, Sexist, SignsThis Year Thousands Of Men Will Die From Stubbornness…: This year thousands of men will die from stubbornness. No we won’t.
Computers, Geeky, ImageryWhenever I Have To Force Shutdown: Whenever I have to force shutdown.
Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery, SexistXBOX Girlfriend: A real girlfriend does not complain when her boyfriend is on his xbox…
Darth Vader, Imagery, Kristen StewartMore Expressions Than Kristen Stewart: Still more expressions than Kristen Stewart.
English, Grammar, QuotationsAmusing Quotes & One-Liners: Amusing Quotes & One-Liners.
Imagery, Risqué, SignsNo Public Motor Boating Permitted: No public motor boating permitted.
Alcohol, Food, Imagery, VodkaVodka Diet: Lose 3 Days In 1 Week: Vodka Diet: Lose 3 Days in 1 Week.
Advertising, Boobs, Imagery, Sexist, VintageSabrina Projects: Sabrina demonstrates the world’s finest projection equipment…
Police, RisquéPanties: Policewoman: Anything you say will be taken down!
Australia, Chairs, Disaster, Earthquake, Imagery, MelbourneThe 2012 Melbourne Earthquake: The 2012 Melbourne Earthquake: We will rebuild.
Drawings, Imagery, SignsDraw Bridge: A man drawing a bridge at a “draw bridge” sign.
Imagery, Phones, Risqué, SexPhone Sex: Phone Sex. You’re doing it wrong.
Alcohol, Beer, Imagery, WineIn Wine There Is Truth: In Wine there is Truth. In Beer there is Strength. In Water there is Bacteria.
Computers, Geeky, ItComputer Quotes: Computer quotes.
Balloons, Birthdays, ImageryBalloons Are So Weird…: Balloons are so weird… “Happy Birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath”
April Fools, Imagery, Pizza, Salad, WorkThis Is How Workplace Violence Starts: This is how workplace violence starts…
Redheads, SexistRedheads: How do you get a redhead…
ImageryFight Apathy: …or don’t.
Animals, Carrots, Food, Imagery, Rabbits, VegetablesSuccess Is Not Always What You See: Success is not always what you see…
Animals, Books, Dolphins, Imagery, LibrariesTo Punch A Dolphin In The Mouth: 5 very good reasons to punch a dolphin in the mouth.
Advertising, Feminine Hygiene, Imagery, Sexist, VintagePlease, Dave… Please Don’t Let Me Be Locked Out From You!: Please, Dave… please don’t let me be locked out from you! For complete feminine hygiene rely on Lysol – a concentrated germ-killer!
Babies, ImageryDraw Fake Eyebrows On Your Baby: Draw fake eyebrows on your baby. Then sit back and enjoy the humour.
Geeky, ImageryVoice: Scrooge and Donald on IRC.
Drugs, Food, ImageryEminem Drug Bust: Eminem Drug Bust.
Ice Cream, ImageryI Scream Cone: I Scream Cone.
Food, Geeky, ImageryLOL For Lunch: Ordering linguini for lunch always boosts morale.
Alcohol, ImageryAlcohol Research: Bum holding sign “Need Cash for Alcohol Research”.
JokesComplimentary Pretzels: A guy walks into a bar and takes a seat. Before he can order a beer, the bowl of pretzels in front of him says “Hey, you’re a handsome fellow.”
Imagery, Movies, PiratesHorny Pirate’s Worst Nightmare: What’s a horny pirate’s worst nightmare?
Animals, Animated, Bananas, Cats, ImageryCat & Banana: The cat and the banana.
Batman, Imagery, Iphone, Phones, SmsI’m Batman: SMS conversation between Tim and Batman.
Dishes, ImageryDishes: Dishes: They don’t do themselves.
Animals, Cupcakes, Food, Imagery, LemursA Lemur Who Has Discovered The Wondrousness Of Cupcakes For The Fist Time.: A lemur who has discovered the wondrousness of cupcakes for the fist time.
Ice, Imagery, MindpowerMelt Ice With My Mind: I can melt ice with my mind… just give me a few minutes…
SexistA Love Story With A Happy Ending: Once upon a time, a bloke asked a girl “Will you marry me?”
Cars, Imagery, StickersF It: F-it
Geeky, ImageryIPad Stone: iPad versus a stone.
Illusion, ImageryCrazy Sphere: A crazy sphere
Computer Games, Imagery, MarioIt’s A-me, Mario!: Mario emerging from a drainpipe.
☺Disclaimer, Copyright & Contact Information: Feel free to send me anything you think might amuse me.
Animals, ImageryWireless Technology: “It is a bit freaky with this wireless technology”
Dyslexia, Imagery, Sex, Shirts, TshirtsI Have Sex Daily: I have sex daily! I mean dyslexia! Fcuk.
Bathrooms, Imagery, SignsYou Look Fine: Instead of a mirror, a sign “you look fine”.
PoliticalMerry Christmas & A Happy New Year: Merry Christmas & A Happy New Year.
Artists, Justin Bieber, MusiciansDear Justin Bieber Haters: I owe my life to Justin Bieber…
All Your Base, Geeky, Imagery, InternetAll Your Base...: All your base are belong to us.
Books, Imagery, Racist, ShopsWong Fook Hing Book Store: If you cannot find the book that you are looking for, then you’re obviously in the… Wong Fook Hing Book Store!
Imagery, Unicorns, Unicycles, UnitardsUnicorn, Unitard, Unicycle: Unicorn in a unitard on a unicycle.
Crocs, Imagery, Shoes, WeddingsWedding Crocs: Wedding Crocs.
Geeky, Imagery, Ninjas, Pirates, ZombiesSurvival Tracking Guide: The Pirate, the Ninja, & the Zombie…
Apple, Apples, Computers, Food, Imagery, Laptops, TechnologyMake Your Own Apple Laptop: Make your own Apple laptop the cheap—and healthy—way!
Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, Sweaters, VintageMen Are Better Than Women!: Indoors, women are useful — even pleasant. On a mountain they are something of a drag. So don’t go hauling them up a cliff…
SexistMen Are Happier: Men are Happier: What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Advertising, Guns, Imagery, Revolvers, VintageIsn’t It Time You Gave Yourself A Christmas Gift?: Isn’t it time you gave yourself a Christmas Gift?
Animals, Giraffes, ImageryLet’s Get You Home Buddy: Two giraffe having problems getting home.
Grammar, SpellingYou Read That Wrong: That awkward moment when you read that wrong…
Animals, Geeky, Imagery, Math, SnakesSnakes On A Plane: Snakes on a plane.
Boobs, Bsod, Computers, Fashion, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, Sexist, Shirts, Windows, WomenI Love My BSOD: Perhaps the only blue screen of death geeks would be happy to see.
Geeky, RisquéEUNUCH Programmer's Manual - CONDOM(1): The EUNUCH Programmer's Manual - CONDOM(1)
Animals, Cats, ImageryCat Bag: It’s a cat bag. Not too sure what else to say about this…
Corporate, Geeky, ImageryPatent Infringement: Eating Fruit…
Apple, Computers, Geeky, Linux, Mac, WindowsHow To Fix Any Computer: A comprehensive guide to fixing any computer.
Books, Imagery, Sexist“Understanding Women” Now Available In Paperback: The book “Understanding Women” is now available in paperback!
Geeky, InternetDiary Of An AOL Luser: Diary of an AOL Luser.
Risqué, Sexist, WorkSentence Structure: Why Sentence Structure Is Important: Sentence Structure: Why sentence structure is important.
Animals, Gorillas, Imagery, King Kong, Mobiles, Phones, VodafoneNo Signal: The “Vodafone Effect”.
Blonde, SexistBlonde Betting: A very attractive blonde woman arrived at a Vegas casino…
☺Fifteen Things To Do At The Supermarket…: Fifteen things to do at the supermarket while your spouse is taking their sweet time…
Bipolar, Graffiti, Imagery, SignsBipolar Awesome: I hate being bi-polar. It’s awesome.
Animals, Cats, Glasses, ImageryBut These Are For Girls: But these are for girls… Holy Crap! I look fabulous!
Animals, Imagery, OctopusesDrunk Octopus Wants To Fight: Drunk Octopus Wants to Fight…
Animals, Imagery, Spiders, ZombiesZombie Apocalypse Spider: I laugh at your claims to bravely take on a zombie apocalypse, when most of you can’t stand up to a spider.
Geeky, InternetAmusing Chat: Humour from the world of Internet Chat
Animals, Animated, Hamsters, ImageryHamster Flying: How to make your hamster fly…
Animals, Imagery, SealsSeal The Deal: What do you say we go behind this rock and seal the deal?
Australia, Condoms, New Zealand, Racist, RisquéKiwi Condoms: Australia runs out of condoms…
Animals, Golf, Imagery, Sport, TurtlesWorld’s Largest Golf Ball: World’s largest golf ball. Gigantic turtle for scale.
Australia, Cricket, Imagery, VideoHow Cricket Looks To Most People: How Cricket Looks to Most People.
Animals, Dogs, ImageryFree Puppy: Free puppy…
English, ImageryYou You Read The First Line Wrong?: What if I told you you read the first line wrong?
Cars, ImageryHonked At A Prius: Honked at a Prius, scared the crap out of it.
Geeky, InternetCannot Find The Damn File: Cannot find the damn file…
Animals, Cats, Ducks, Imagery, Robots, Sharks, VacuumsRobot Vacuum Cat Shark Duck Chase: Robot Vacuum Cat Shark Duck Chase.
Animals, Boats, Fish, Fishing, ImageryGive A Man A Fish And He Has Food For A Day: Give a man a fish and he has food for a day. Teach a man to fish and he has to buy bamboo rods, graphite reels, monofilament lines, neoprene waders, creels, tackleboxes, lures, flies, spinners, worm rigs, slip sinkers, offset hooks, gore-tex hats, 20 pocket vests, fish finders, depth sounders, radar, boats, trailers, global positioning systems, coolers and six-packs.
Aboriginal, Australia, Imagery, Racist, The RockStolen Generator: So I heard about the stolen generation…
SexistAustralia And Mateship: Mateship amongst Men & Women: The differences…
Imagery, SexistAlways Love A Woman For Her Personality: Always love a woman for her personality. They have like 10, so you can choose.
RisquéThe Hypnotist: It was entertainment night at the senior centre and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill…
PoliticalLabel Instructions: French Label Instructions
ImagerySuperman’s Social Network Nightmare: Superman’s Social Network Nightmare.
Animals, Birds, Imagery, Missing Posters, Paper, Pigeons, PostersHave You Seen This Bird?: I met this bird by the tree near the library. We chilled for like, 5 minutes, & then without any warning he just flew away. We really hit it off. So if you see him, please let him know I miss him.
SexistA Woman’s Wish: A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods…
Animals, Animated, Giraffes, ImageryHidden Giraffe: If you stare at this picture long enough you should be able to see a giraffe…
Animals, Dogs, ImageryI Forgot How To Dog: I forgot how to dog
America, Calendars, Imagery, Mayans, Obama, Political, PredictionsThe Mystery Of The Mayan Calendar Revealed: At last, the mystery of the Mayan calendar revealed.
Earth, Imagery, Risqué, Solar SystemDon’t Masturbate: Don’t Masturbate!
Imagery, Shirts, Tourettes, TshirtsWhat Do We Want? A Cure For Tourettes!: What do we want? A cure for tourettes! When do we want it? …
Cats, Comics, ImageryPop Out Of Bed: If people were meant to pop out of bed we’d all sleep in toasters.
Imagery, Seniors, WarDrafting Guys Over 60: New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!
Geeky, Imagery, Movies, The MatrixThe Matrix: What is The Matrix?
Boats, Fishing, Imagery, Logan, RacistFishing, Logan Style: Fishing, Logan Style.
ImageryI See Dumb People: I see dumb people… They are everywhere!
ImageryProof That Not Knowing Everything Is The Best Way To Go: Proof that not knowing everything is the best way to go.
English, Grammar, ImageryComforting A Grammar Nazi: When comforting a grammar nazi, I always say softly, “there, their, they’re”
Animals, Imagery, LlamaA Shaved Llama: A shaved Llama
RisquéMickey Mouse: One day, Mickey Mouse decided that he wanted a divorce…
Geeky, Imagery, Movies, Star WarsStar Wars: A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…
RisquéTemptation: Temptation, by a soon to be married man.
Brooms, Imagery, Parking, Sexist, Witches, WomenWomen Can’t Park: Who said that women can’t park?
☺The World’s Shortest Books: The World’s Shortest Books
English, GrammarEnglish: Let’s face it - English is a crazy language.
Animals, Bunnies, Imagery, RabbitsEmo Bunny: Emo bunny: No one ever understands him
ImagerySense: …this picture makes none.
ImagerySteady Hand – The Results: Steady Hand – The Results (or what happens when you play Steady Hand)
America, Imagery, Nsa, Obama, Phones, SpyingObama: “Aww No! Both Of You Hang Up!”: Her: “Ok, you hang up.” Him: “No, you hang up.” Her: “Haha, no you hang up.” Obama: “Aww no! Both of you hang up!”
Sexist, WomenWhen A Woman Says “what?”: When a woman says “what?”, it’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
SexistMen Are Like...: Men are like…
Imagery, RacistHow To Be Black: How to be Black: An Instructional Book.
Aboriginal, Australia, Gay, RacistAboriginal Jobs: At the end of a tiny, deserted bar is a huge Aboriginal bloke…
Dba, Geeky, Imagery, SqlDBA/SQL Humour: An SQL query walks into a bar, goes up to two tables and asks, “May I join you?”
Computers, Geeky, ItStar Trek TNG Meets Microsoft: Star Trek TNG Meets Microsoft…
Imagery, PunsThe Highest Form Of Flattery: Plateaus: The highest form of flattery.
Geeky, ImageryOhm: …ohm.
America, Imagery, Political, SpyingMy Computer Hard Drive Crashed. NSA Won’t Send Me Their Backup Copy.: My computer hard drive crashed. NSA won’t send me their backup copy.
ImageryElephant Bone: …just to confuse future archaeologists.
Imagery, SexistHair Dryer: Darling, please give me the hair dryer…
Computers, ImageryInsert Disk Two: Please insert disk two.
ImageryFurniture Training: Furniture training for one of their main purposes in life…
Alcohol, Holidays, Imagery, WineHoliday Workout: Holiday Workout: Three corkscrews.
Darth Vader, ImageryBreathe Right: Darth Vader going for some Breathe Right.
Children, ParentingWhy Parents Drink: Why parents drink.
CatsHappy Pussy: A collection of amusing cat pictures.
Animals, RisquéDoctor Bob Had Sex With One Of His Patients…: Doctor Bob had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long…
Australia, Brisbane, Computer Games, Explosions, Guns, Imagery, PoliceBrisbane, GTA Style: Queen Street Mall, Brisbane, GTA Style.
WorkHow To Get A Day Off Work: How to get time off in the public service…
America, Democracy, Imagery, TvWelcome To The USA: The Government where the money’s made up and the debt doesn’t matter.
Australia, Iraq, PoliticalThe Australian Constitution: For Iraq: They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq…
Animals, Animated, Imagery, PenguinsPenguin Falls: Penguin falling on ice.
Alcohol, Beer, Fitness, ImageryI Wonder What I Would Look Like With A Six Pack?: I wonder what I would look like with a six pack? Ahh, much better!
Communist, Computer Games, Geeky, ImageryA Case In Communism: The Super Mario Story: A Case in Communism: The Super Mario Story.
Imagery, Shirts, TshirtsAttention Deficit Disorder: Ask me about my attention deficit disorder or pie or my cat. A dog. I have a bike. Do you like TV? I saw a rock. Hi.
Food, Imagery, TurkeyRoast Turkey With A Doll Head: I was watching TV when I head my Dad in the kitchen laughing to himself. When I got up to see what he was doing, I walked in on this…
Aboriginal, Australia, RacistAboriginal Spongebob Spotted In Cairns: Aboriginal Spongebob spotted in Cairns.
Animals, Cats, Imagery, Snow, SnowballsThe Cat & The Snowball: The Cat & the Snowball.
Board Games, Games, ImageryGroup Therapy: …is not going to make Q any less of a hated letter.
Australia, Buses, Explosions, Imagery, InalaSorry For Party Rocking: Sorry for Party Rocking: Driver jumps from burning bus, party bus explodes in Inala.
☺Notice: Notice is hereby given…
Animals, Australia, Imagery, KoalasEucalyptus Leaves Cause Hallucinations: The **** do you mean eucalyptus leaves cause hallucinations? I gotta tell my unicorn about this.
RisquéSanta’s Stressful Christmas: Santa’s Stressful Christmas
Chat, Imagery, InternetChat Rooms: Chat Rooms – you never really know.
Babies, ImageryNow Airtight: Now airtight… to prevent aging!
Animated, Geeky, Imagery, PhotoshopAdobe Photoshop CS6 Has Stopped Working: The realest photography struggle ever…
ImageryStatistics That Matter: The Pie Chart: A new take on the traditional pie… chart.
Illusion, ImageryShake Your Head: Shake your head
Sexist, WomenWords Women Use: Words women use, and what they really mean.
Grammar, Imagery, TomorrowTomorrow (noun): Tomorrow (noun): a mystical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation and achievement is stored.
Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, VintageHappier With A Hoover: Christmas morning she’ll be happier with a Hoover.
Fruit, Grapes, ImageryBeware The Grapes Of Wrath: Beware the Grapes of Wrath.
Advertising, Clothing, Fashion, Imagery, SexistWhy Men Die Before Women: Why men die before women.
Animals, Birds, Imagery, Owls, RegretsRegrets: I stay up late every night, and realise it’s a bad idea every morning.
Australia, Imagery, Racist, Tintin, WynnumThe Adventures Of TinTin: TinTin In Wynnum: The Adventures of TinTin: TinTin in Wynnum.
Imagery, Real EstateLaminated Room: List of reasons why a room would have to contain a bucket and be almost entirely laminated: 1) Bad reasons.
Imagery, Risqué, SexistInteresting ATM: Man using a sexually provocative ATM.
Advertising, Billboards, ImageryThere Are Two Rules For Success: There are two rules for success: Never reveal everything you know…
Animals, Dogs, ImageryDog Queue: Sometimes, even dogs have to queue…
ImageryI’m So Sick Of Not Being Understood!: I’m so sick of not being understood! What do you mean?
Animals, Bugs, Flies, Imagery, Joke, MitesHey, Bug On My Back…: Hey, bug on my back, are you a mite? I mite be. Stupidest pun I ever heard…
Imagery, MathImaginary Friend: Aww, how cute. He has an imaginary friend!
Australia, History, RacistA Brief History Of Australia: Australia was founded in 1901 by Jimmy “Crocodile” Austral, a deportee of England who was banished for cannibalism, having eaten 32 members of the House of Lords. In accordance with English colonial law, this entitled him to an entire already-inhabited continent.
Imagery, Psychotherapists, SignsPsycho The Rapist: Psycho the Rapist It’s one word George!
Cling-wrap, Imagery, WorkCling-wrap Fun: Cling-wrap fun.
Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, Microsoft OfficeMicrosoft Office Suite Pass Key: Does anyone have an extra Microsoft Office suite pass key?
Homework, Imagery, SchoolSelf Referencing Homework: What has been your greatest accomplishment so far?
Food, ImageryI Love The Smell Of Pixel In The Morning: I Love the Smell of Pixel in the Morning…
Animals, Ducklings, Ducks, ImageryBeware Of Cute Duckling Scam: Beware of Cute Duckling Scam…
Australia, New Zealand, RacistAn Aussie Taxidermist In New Zealand…: An Aussie Taxidermist in New Zealand…
Blackjack, Cards, Games, ImageryBlack Jack Black: Black Jack Black eating Cracker Jack playing a black jack while playing BlackJack with Jack Black who is threatening Black Jack Black with a Black Jack.
Imagery, PoliceA Cop Just Pulled Me Over And Said “Papers”: A cop just pulled me over and said “Papers”… so I said “Scissors, I win” and drove off…
Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, MsnMSN Shuts Down: We reminisce about “the good old days” of MSN…
InvisibleYou Can See Me?: Next time a stranger talks to me when I’m alone I will look at them shocked and just whisper quietly, “you can see me?”
Art, Geeky, ImageryNational Portrait Gallery: National Portrait Gallery. National Landscape Gallery…
Imagery, Iphone, Phones, Romance, SmsThe Modern Day Romantic: Goodnight my beautiful girl I’m so lucky to have you in my life. I love you so much <3
Olympics, Racist, SportAthens Olympic Soccer Stadium: The Athens Olympic Stadium…
Cars, Imagery, PetrolThe Bank Account Gas Ratio: The depressing ratio between your bank account, and your gas tank.
ImagerySmile: Smile…
Dads, Imagery, Jokes, Phones, SmsSometimes I Sit On The Floor And Put My Arms Around My Knees And Lean Forward: Dad: Sometimes I sit on the floor and put my arms around my knees and lean forward. Daughter: Huh? Dad: Cuz that’s how I roll!
Animals, Imagery, SpidersLet’s All Take A Moment And Be Thankful That Spiders Don’t Fly.: Let’s all take a moment and be thankful that spiders don’t fly!
Animals, Dogs, ImageryA Little Hand: I wish you could give me a little hand…
Babies, Drinking, Imagery, Studying, The RockWhat Are Your Plans For The Weekend?: What are your plans for the weekend? Studying. [shocked look] Drinking! Drinking!
Imagery, WifiBasic Human Needs: Basic human needs… like Wi-Fi.
Computer Games, ImageryVideo Games Ruined My Life: Video games ruined my life. Good thing I have two more.
Animals, Cats, Dogs, JokeWoof: How do you get a cat to bark like a dog?
Bricks, Footpaths, Imagery, OcdOCD Bricks: The worst thing that can happen to an OCD person…
Imagery, MoviesNeville: Neville would have done it in four books.
Betas, Bugs, Calendars, Cartoons, Imagery, MayansMayan’s Beta Calendar Bug: …to get to the point; why does your calendar end in 2012? Oh, that’s just a temporary problem in the beta version!
Boats, Imagery, Rowing, WarRow Row Row Your Boat: Row row row your boat. Shut up Carl.
Imagery, Mexico, RacistMexico’s National Sport: What is Mexico’s national sport? Cross country.
Harry Potter, Imagery, Magic, Risqué, WandsReplace The Word “wand” With “dick” In Any Sentence In Harry Potter: Replace the word “wand” with “dick” in any sentence in Harry Potter…
Animals, Art, Bananas, Carving, Food, Horses, ImageryBanana Carving: Banana Carving.
Animals, Cats, ImageryPlease Don’t Let The Cat Out. No Matter What It Tells You!: Please don’t let the cat out. No matter what it tells you!
ImageryVegetative State: Vegetative State.
Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryAnimals That Didn’t Expect Their Humans To Come Home So Early!: Animals that didn’t expect their humans to come home so early!
Animals, Cats, Cockroaches, Dogs, Imagery, Men, WomenThe Circle Of Life: The Circle of Life: Who is afraid of who?
Risqué, Sexist, ViagraDealing With Hunger Pangs: A woman asks her partner at breakfast time, “Would you like some bacon and eggs a slice of toast and, maybe, some grapefruit juice and coffee?”
Imagery, WorkMeetings: The practical alternative to work.
Animals, ImageryJust Checking: “Just doing a spot-check to see what you’re doing… Yup, sitting at your computer again!” The expression on this ostrich’s face is excellent.
Football, Relationships, Sexist, SportThe Loving Husband: A man had two of the best tickets for the opening State of Origin match. As he sits down, another man comes along and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him…
Babies, Children, Daycare, Imagery, Logan, RacistLogan Daycare: Logan Daycare: Just for the whole day
Alcohol, Imagery, SexistLet’s Go For A Drink…: Goldstar Beer Ads: What goes through the mind of men and women when they’re asked to go for a drink…
Roadwork, Shovels, WorkersWe Forgot Our Shovels: A road crew foreman calls into the shop. Foreman: “We have a problem.”
Accidents, Animals, Canada, Imagery, Moose, News, TvCanadian News: Canadian News: Quebec snowmobiler dies after driving under a moose.
Hands, Imagery, Risqué, Valentine’s DayValentine Hand: Of course I’ll be your valentine. Let’s stay home and watch some porn.
ImageryCaution: Door May Open: Caution: Door May Open.
English, GrammarParaprosdokians: Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.
Imagery, PinterestIf You Like It Then You Shoulda Put A Pin On It: If you like it then you shoulda put a pin on it!
America, Capitalist, ImageryIn Capitalist America…: Bank robs you!
GeekySpellcheck Not Needed: Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy…
Animals, Imagery, RaccoonsGet Well Soon: A raccoon lies dead on the road, holding a “get well soon” balloon.
Animals, Cats, DogsCats And Dogs: As seen in a dog’s diary…
GeekyIf Dr Seuss Was A Technical Writer: If Dr Seuss Was A Technical Writer.
Animals, Birds, Imagery, Notices, Parrots, SignsParrot BBQ: Parrot Lost: Parrot BBQ!
Beer, ChartsBeer Troubleshooting Chart: Beer Troubleshooting Chart.
ToysThe Horror Of Blimps: Some blimps are better off dead…
Animals, Bananas, Birds, Food, Imagery, ParrotsBanana Parrot Terrorism: A parrot eating bananas.
Comics, Imagery, Movies, WorkPopular Sayings #38: Dress for the job you want, not the one you have.
Apple, Bill Gates, Computers, Heaven, Imagery, Microsoft, Phones, Religious, Steve Jobs, WindowsSteve Jobs & Bill Gates Discuss Heaven: Steve Jobs & Bill Gates Discuss Heaven: It doesn’t have any wall or fence…
Image, Qut, UniversityQUT: University For The Real World: Will we find intelligent life?
Chess, Feminists, Imagery, Sexist, WomenHow To Play Chess: How to Play Chess: Whites go first. The Queen must protect the King.
Fonts, Imagery, Running, Sport, Usain BoltUsain Bold, Usain Italic: Usain Bolt: Usain Bold, Usain Italic.
ImageryPositive For Coke: You’re fired Jack, the lab results just came back and you tested positive for Coke.
Imagery, SexistRealistic Remotes: Some more useful remote controls we would like to see.
Batman, Imagery, WikileaksWikileaks: Bruce Wayne!
Animals, Dogs, ImageryAchilles’ Heel: You got a dog?! Yup! His name is Achilles…
Australia, France, Imagery, Racist, RisquéAustralian Kiss: Australian Kiss: same as a French Kiss… but down under.
Animals, Birds, Imagery, Mirrors, ParrotsTap That: I’d tap that!
Computers, GeekyMessage From Your IT Deptartment: Message from your IT Deptartment…
Bananas, Food, Imagery, SausagesBanana Sausage: Banana sausage…
Guns, Imagery, Mp3, Mp4, Mp5Well, That Escalated Quickly: Well, that escalated quickly.
Imagery, MusicI’m Not Just Another Brick In The Wall: We don’t need no education…
Cars, Imagery, MoviesDiesel: Hey, wanna know what I put in my car?
Imagery, ReligiousBelieve In Reincarnation: Yeah, well, I didn’t believe in reincarnation when I was your age, either.
Computer Games, Education, Games, Imagery, Internet, Minecraft, School, TestsMinecraft: Create A Simple Door: Describe a process that could be used to create a simple door.
Internet, RisquéCybersex How-Not-To: Cybersex how it should not be…
Babies, Imagery, PregnancyHow Babies Are Made: How babies are made (with an air pump).
Animals, Imagery, SharksShark! What?: Shark! What?
Babies, Court, Imagery, Jail, Judges3 Years In Jail For Stealing My Nose: 3 years in jail for stealing my nose!
AudioTelstra Customer Service: An insight into the Telstra Customer Service Experience.
Imagery, Phones, SmsStreet Name: Hey, what’s your street name?
Facebook, ImageryBe The First Of Your Friends To Like This Post.: A post with a poster on it, “Be the first of your friends to like this post”.
WorkPhysical Fitness: This department requires no physical fitness program.
Comics, ImageryThe Street Is Closed: Oh no—we’re trapped in here. The street is closed.
Jewish, RacistBacon Tree: Back in cowboy times, a westbound wagon train was lost and low on food…
Animals, Dogs, ImageryA Dog Named Stay: I bought a dog once. Named him ‘Stay’…
Birds, Imagery, WifiHe’s Got Wifi: Three birds sitting on a wire, a fourth sitting in mid air. He's got wifi.
Animals, Imagery, TurtlesYou’ll Never Be As Happy As This Turtle: You’ll never be as happy as this turtle.
Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, PhonesIPhone 6: Bend It Like Beckham: iPhone 6: Bend it like Beckham.
Cars, ImagerySomething Wrong Officer?: Something wrong officer?
PoliticalOrdering Pizza In The Year 2025: Ordering pizza in the year 2025…
Imagery, WaterThe Deadly Facts About Water: The Deadly Facts about Water
Imagery, SocksThe Divorce Rate Among My Socks Is Astonishing.: The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.
Animals, Joke, PigsThree Little Piggies: Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night…
Illusion, ImageryHinton’s “Lilac Chaser”: The Dotty Illusion…
Imagery, Ipad, IphoneFree IPhone To IPad Upgrade: Free iPhone to iPad Upgrade
Animals, Cats, Imagery, WorkI Used To Smile… Until I Worked Retail.: I used to smile… until I worked retail.
Imagery, Risqué, SupermanSuper Boner: Super-boner: A super problem.
Capitalism, Imagery, PoliticalSuffering From Capitalism: Feeling sad and depressed? Are you anxious? Worried about the future? Feeling isolated and alone? You might be suffering from Capitalism.
Imagery, Joke, Mayans, PredictionsMayan Joke Set-Up: Heh… I’ve just thought of a joke with the longest set-up ever! Cool! I’ll fetch a scribe…
Imagery, Risqué, SexSex Tape: I made a sex tape. Shhh!
Children, Parenting, SchoolLetter To A Mother / School Report: It is with great happiness that I’m telling you that I eloped with my new boyfriend…
Evolution, Imagery, ZombiesZombie Evolution: The evolution of Zombies
America, Imagery, Mexico, RacistBorderline Offensive: You can make jokes about anything, just not Mexicans…
Bananas, Food, Imagery, ZucchinisGreen Banana: Green banana…
Stress, WorkStress Management: A stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological texts.
Accidents, Helmets, Imagery, Jamaica, Motorbikes, Risqué, SexistWhat’s The Main Reason For Motorbike Accidents In Jamaica?: What’s the main reason for motorbike accidents in Jamaica?
ImageryMicrophone Eyes: Microphone Eyes.
Imagery, Risqué, SignsPlease Use Finger: Pen is broken - please use finger.
Children, Grace, Prayers, ReligiousSix Year Old Praying: A mother invited some people to dinner…
AudioPsychiatric Answering Machine: A Psychiatric Office Answering Machine.
Animals, Chickens, Eggs, Imagery, SignsBoneless Chicken: Boneless Chicken
Canada, Imagery, Protests, RiotsCanadian Riots: Canadian Riots: Sorry to bother you, but perhaps you should take a break as our mayor?
ImageryBird Flu: I’m not worried about this bird flu…
Imagery, Motorbikes, RisquéSexy Motorbike: I am not too sure what to say about this…
Explosions, Guns, ImageryTold Her Not To Brag About Her Barbie Dream House…: Told her not to brag about her barbie dream house…
Geeky, ImageryDrowning, LOL!: If you see someone drowning… LOL!
Imagery, Winnie The PoohPooh Everywhere: Watch your step, there’s pooh everywhere!
Imagery, PhonesPhone Tails: That’s right dear, our ancestors had tails.
Cars, Drugs, Imagery, PoliceHow High Are You?: How High Are You? No Officer, it’s “Hi, how are you”.
Australia, Games, Imagery, MonopolyAustralian Monopoly: Australian Monopoly: St Marys to Penrith Special Edition.
Animals, Imagery, RisquéHow To Eat Pussy…: How to eat pussy…
Advertising, Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Phones, Samsung, Samsung Galaxy, TechnologyApple IPhone 20 & Samsung Galaxy S23 – Sword & Shield: A mock-up of the iPhone 20 and Samsung Galaxy S23, after the launch of the “taller” iPhone5 & the larger Galaxy S3.
Animals, Animated, Australia, Emus, Imagery, KangaroosKangaroo Kicks Boy: A kangaroo kicks an unsuspecting boy into a dam while an emu strolls past.
Food, ImageryLittle Green Balls Of Death: Little Green Balls of Death
ImageryMcDonald’s Reaches Africa: McDonald’s reaches Africa.
Alcohol, ImagerySlimming Drink: You look so much better after a glass or two!
Accidents, Imagery, Logan, Racist, WindowsLogan Repair: Another quality repair job by Logan City Council.
Crime, Police, ShootingThe Floor Is Still Wet: I have an interesting case here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped…
Imagery, NinjasNinja Exit: Ninja Exit Only
Australia, PoliticalCostello’s Reward For Being Loyal: Costello’s reward for being loyal…
RisquéMonica: Monica walks into her dry cleaning store…
Chinese, Imagery, Racist, Tattoos, WomenIf Chinese People Tattooed Lame English Words On Themselves…: If Chinese people tattooed lame English words on themselves…
Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Pie ChartsTime Breakdown Of Modern Web Design: The breakdown of modern web design.
Advertising, Apple, Computers, Geeky, Imagery, MacMac Weed: A take-off of the Apple Macintosh switch ads.
Driving, Sexist, WomenDamn Women Drivers: This morning on the freeway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Cadillac doing 110…
Imagery, SexistDifference Between Men And Women: The difference between men and women…
Gandalf, Harry Potter, Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, Patrick Stewart, Star Trek, Star WarsHow To Offend Four Groups Of Geeks With One Picture: How to offend four groups of geeks with one picture.
Cartoons, Comics, Imagery, MoviesThe Bat Cave: The location of our Bat Cave is meant to be secret, so stop checking in!
☺News Headlines: Amusing news headlines
Campervans, Camping, Cars, ImageryNot A Happy Camper: Not a Happy Camper.
SexistCIA Assassin: The CIA had an opening for an assassin…
Computer Games, Imagery, SexistThe Way Girls Play Computer Games: The way girls play computer games.
Animated, Australia, Imagery, Internet, Political, TelstraBuilding The NBN From Telstra Copper: Building the NBN from Telstra Copper
Clippit, Imagery, Microsoft, Office, Paperclips, WorkIt Looks Like You Are Wasting Office Supplies. Would You Like Some Help?: Clippit: It looks like you are wasting office supplies. Would you like some help?
Alcohol, Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, WindowsWindows: File Missing: Windows cannot find the file. Would you like some wine instead?
Animals, Imagery, Nuclear Power, SpidersSpider Farm: This seems like a disaster waiting to happen…
Animals, Halloween, Imagery, SquirrelsHalloween Squirrel: A squirrel got its head stuck in a Halloween decoration and terrified a neighbourhood…
RacistOnly In America...: Only in America…
Imagery, SexistHusband Glasses: I’m returning these glasses I bought for my husband. He’s still not seeing things my way.
Imagery, Phones, SmsI Am Hungary: I am Hungary…
ImageryPolice Station Toilet Stolen: Police Station Toilet Stolen… Cops have nothing to go on.
Imagery, Kitchens, Sexist, WomenFor Too Long The Voice Of Women Has Been Silenced: For too long the voice of women has been silenced. It’s time they had microphones in kitchens.
Cars, ImagerySideways Car: It’s a little confusing…
Babies, ImagerySpot The Baby: Spot the baby. No, the other one.
Imagery, RisquéDangers Of Masturbation: The Dangers of Masturbation.
Imagery, Musicians, Rolling Stones, ZombiesZombies!: Zombies! Oh, wait… false alarm, it’s just the Rolling Stones… carry on!
Bananas, Carving, Food, Guns, Imagery, WeaponsBanana Gun: Banana gun…
Farmers, Imagery, Men, Swimming, WomenThe Clever Old Man: One evening an old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond…
Game Shows, TvAmusing Hollywood Squares Answers: Amusing Hollywood Squares Answers.
Alcohol, Animals, Dogs, Imagery, Skateboards, Smoking, WineBad Dog Is Banned From The Park: I don’t know who this dog is or why he is banned from this park, but he certainly seems like a lot of fun.
Cartoons, Fire, Imagery, StairsIn Case Of Fire, Take Stairs: In case of fire, take stairs.
PoliticalBush And The Queen: While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen…
CarsMini Cooper: A guy driving a Mini Cooper pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce…
Alarms, Animals, Clocks, Imagery, SpidersAlarm Clock That Releases Spiders: Million dollar idea… alarm clock that releases spiders! Now you’re up!
Germany, LoveTell Someone You Love Them Today: Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying and confusing.
Africa, Animals, Cars, Elephants, ImageryYou Know You Are Having A Bad Day When…: You know you are having a bad day when…
SexistGirl’s And Boy’s Diaries: A girl and a boy and their diaries…
Aliens, ImageryFunniest Alien Fan Art I’ve Seen: Funniest Alien Fan Art I’ve Seen.
Facebook, Geeky, Imagery, InternetGoogle+ Versus Facebook: Google Plus versus Facebook
Imagery, Notices, Paper, SignsPaper Says Yes: Would you like a little piece of paper that says yes to hang onto during the tough times ahead? (Maybe it will help)
Cars, ReligiousRoad Rage: Two cars were waiting at a stoplight. The light turned green, but the man didn’t notice it…
Imagery, SexistIron Man Competition: Ironman Competition - the way it should be…
JokeExercise - Some Facts: Exercise… some facts.
Imagery, Reincarnation, WoodReincarnation Gone Horribly Wrong: Reincarnation gone horribly wrong
Geeky, ItNetwork Truths: The Twelve Networking Truths.
Books, ImageryMystery Books: You have to find them first…
Animals, Cars, Children, Girls, Horses, ImageryNo Pony For Christmas: No pony for Christmas? No window for driving!
Imagery, StovesCool Stoves: Cool Stoves
Animals, Dogs, ImageryFunny Dog: The longer you look, the funnier it gets!
Education, Imagery, School, TeachersExplain These Bad Grades: 1969: A child’s parents blame him for his bad grades. Today: A child’s parents blame his teacher for his bad grades.
ImagerySpring Is Just Around The Corner: Finally… Spring is just around the corner.
AustraliaText Of A Letter From A Kid From Eromanga To Mum And Dad.: Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad.
Imagery, PiracyPiracy Is Not Theft: Imagine your car gets stolen, but it’s still there in the morning.
Books, Imagery, PhobiasEverything You Wanted To Know About Phobias: Everything you wanted to know about Phobias (but were afraid to ask)
Australia, New Zealand, RacistKiwi Pig Sheep: Voted Best Joke of the Year in Australia…
Geeky, ItHow To Please Your IT Department: How to please your IT department.
Computers, Geeky, ImagerySpeed Reader: Wow you read that fast! You must be a speed reader!
ImageryHow To Be Green: A boardgame: How to be Green…
Christmas, Christmas Lights, ImageryChristmas Lights: Ditto: Ditto to that…
Alcohol, Imagery, Marriage, WineSecrets To A Long, Happy Marriage: An old woman was sipping on a glass of wine…
Animals, Dieting, DogsPurina Diet: The Purina Pet Food Diet.
Animals, ImageryHow Dishwashers Really Work: How dishwashers really work…
America, Australia, Birds, Horror Movies, Imagery, MagpiesAustralian Horror Story: American Horror Story versus Australian Horror Story
RacistFerrari Sack Pit Crew: The Ferrari Formula 1 Team fired their entire pit crew yesterday…
Imagery, SexistEscape From The Kitchen: You thought you could escape from the kitchen didn’t you?
Animals, ImageryGeneral Hierarchical Management Structure: I’ve never seen a Flow Chart described so clearly.
Accidents, Cars, ImageryPass With Care: Pass with care…
ImagerySound Thug: Sound Thug
Cooking, Imagery, Smoke DetectorsWhat Smoke Detectors Warn You About: What smoke detectors warn you about.
PoliticalScientific Breakthrough – Governmentium: A major research institution recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named Governmentium.
ReligiousCommon Belief: The belief that there was nothing…
Imagery, Mistakes, PostersMake Some More Mistakes: I’ve learned so much from my mistakes… I’m thinking of making a few more.
Imagery, SchoolUnprepared For An Exam: Ever gone into an exam having not studied at all?
America, Imagery, Obama, PoliticalBarack Obama: What I Actually Do: Barack Obama: What I actually do.
Animals, Imagery, SealsSeal This Opening: I was told to seal this opening, so here I am.
Board Games, ImageryMarry Me: Scrabble Edition.
Balloons, Hot Air Balloons, ImageryHot Air Balloons: Hot Air Balloons - Boring 99% of the time.
Animals, Jokes, Puns, Racing, SnailsI Took The Shell Off My Racing Snail, Thinking It Would Make Him Run Faster.: I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster.
Africa, Animals, Bikes, ImageryUpsetting The Food Chain: A zebra on a motorbike…
Mechanics, UnderwearAlways Wear Underwear: Always wear underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle…
Cars, Imagery, Irish, RacistIrish Car: An advertisement in an Irish Newspaper…
Australia, Imagery, Nsw, PolicePoliceman’s Ball: A young woman was pulled over for speeding. A NSW Police Officer walked to her car window flipping open his ticket book. She said “I bet you are going to try and sell me a ticket to the Policeman’s Ball.” He said, “NSW Police don’t have balls.” There was a moment of silence. Then he closed his book, tipped his hat, and got back in his patrol car and left!
Bones, Imagery, SkeletonsThe Average Human Body Contains Enough Bones: The average human body contains enough bones to make an entire human skeleton.
Food, ImageryBreakfast Alive: What happens if you wait too long before eating your breakfast?
Cars, Imagery, Italy, Racist, Risqué25 Year Old Escort: But Mr. Berlusconi, you said, “Send a 25 years old escort to my villa!”
Afghanistan, RacistInvestment Opportunity: Investment Opportunity. Thought you might want to consider getting on board early.
Bob Hope, Imagery, Johnny Cash, Kevin Bacon, Steve JobsDon’t Let Kevin Bacon Die: 20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have No Cash, No Hope and No Jobs. Please don’t let Kevin Bacon die.
Animals, Beavers, Birds, Cats, Dogs, Fish, Frogs, Horses, Imagery, Puns, Rabbits, ZebraPunny Animals: Who ever invented the “knock-knock jokes” should get a no-bell prize!
Imagery, Sexist, Tv, WomenCooking Shows: If we watched cooking shows the way guys watch sports.
Imagery, PhonesJack’s Phone: Why aren’t you answering…?
Chewing Gum, Imagery, WarningsDo Not Swallow Chewing Gum: Warning: Do not swallow chewing gum!
Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Linux, Mac, WindowsUpdate Available: An update is available for your computer…
Angry Birds, Animals, Australia, Birds, Computer Games, ImageryAngry Birds Australia: Angry Birds Australia…
Easter, Eggs, ImageryDye Job: Check out the dye job on her? Tramp!
Animals, Camels, Children, Donkeys, ImageryYour Child Is Being Eaten By A Camel: Your child is being eaten by a camel. Do you… a) Save your child, or b) Take a photo?
Fans, ImageryThank You To All My Fans: Thank you to all my fans
Racist, RedneckA Redneck Love Poem: Susie Lee done fell in love…
Animals, Dogs, ImageryHide Yo Kids!: Hide yo kids! Hide yo wife!
Illusion, ImageryTwelve Or Thirteen?: Wait until the group changes position. Is it twelve or thirteen?
Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery, WorkMario: Happy: Quit your day job and do what makes you happy.
Animals, Australia, Emus, WarEmu War: Result: Emu Victory.
Animals, Dogs, Imagery, SpidersSpider Dog: Spider Dog…
WorkRejection Response: The next time you get a rejection letter from a hoped-for employer or publisher, just send them the following…
Animals, Australia, Cockatoos, Flies, Imagery, Kangaroos, Kookaburras, Magpies, Possums, Snakes, Spiders, SunburnTypically Australian Problems: Some typically Australian problems that other people don’t face.
Medical, RisquéKeep Off The Grass: A Nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothes, entered…
☺Helpful Hints: Helpful Hints
America, Guns, RacistWhat Do You Call A Gun Enthusiast?: You may have heard on the news about a Southern California man who was put under 72-hour psychiatric observation when it was found he owned 100 guns and allegedly had 100,000 rounds of ammunition stored in his home…
Blogs, Grammar, Imagery, SpellingMisspelt Blog Post: You wouldn't think anyone reads my blog. I haven’t got a comment in weeks. Misspell something…
Cars, ImageryFail Towing: Thank You for Using Fail Towing, Inc.
Children, Imagery, PaintChildren Painting: Two children, half a room and a TV covered in white paint.
Animals, Broomsticks, Cars, Frogs, Imagery, Parking, Princesses, WitchesAll Others Will Be Toad: Private customer parking only. All others will be toad.
Bananas, Food, George Bush, ImageryThis Banana Tastes Funny: “This banana tastes funny” – George Bush.
Political, ReligiousThe 10 Commandments: The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse or parliament…
Cars, Gardens, ImageryMajor Tom’s Ground Control: Major Tom’s Ground Control Lawn and Garden Management.
Imagery, Movies, Obi-wan Kenobi, Star Wars, Terrorism, World Trade CentreThese Blast Points… Too Accurate For Sand People: Obi-Wan Kenobi in front of burning World Trade Centre towers: “These blast points… too accurate for sand people”.
Bsod, Geeky, Microsoft, WindowsBSOD: Blue Screen Of Death: The dreaded blue screen of death…
Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery, TechnologyCombo Hit: Streetfighter Style: Combo Hit: Streetfighter Style
Advertising, Cocaine, Drugs, Imagery, Toothache, VintageCocaine Toothache Drops: Cocaine Toothache Drops: Instantaneous Cure! 15¢.
Brisbane, Imagery, Logan, Racist, WoodridgeSimba & Woodridge: But what about that shadowy place?
Animated, Coffee, ImageryAnimated Coffee: Coffee with emotion.
Money, Quotations, SchwarzeneggerHaving More Money Doesn’t Make You Happier: Having more money doesn’t make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I’m just as happy as when I had 48 million.
Risqué, SexistMating Bulls: A man took his wife to the Rodeo and one of the exhibits is that of breeding bulls…
Animals, Australia, Dropbears, Imagery, KoalasDrop Bears – Department Of Dangerous Fauna Management: Dropbears are a very real danger to all Australians. Almost one in ten Australians has been attacked by a Dropbear, and the rate is even higher for foreign visitors. Don’t become another statistic. Always beware low branches and doorframes. Look up. Stay Alive.
Earth, ImageryHeld Hands Around The Equator: If the human population held hands around the equator, a significant portion of them would drown.
Cars, Geeky, Imagery, SqlSpeed Camera Hack: Car with SQL injection taped to the front.
Animals, Imagery, Iphone, PhonesIt’s A Whale: How do you have any friends…
Animals, Dogs, Driving, Imagery, SexistDog Decides Better Driver: My wife believes she is a better driver. I let our dog decide.
Imagery, MoviesTitanic Ice Bucket Challenge: Titanic ALS Ice Bucket Challenge: “I accept your ice water challenge”.
Imagery…and So It Was.: It’s a Bird! It’s a Plane!
Animals, Cats, ImageryOn A Roll: Don’t try to stop me… ‘cause I am on a roll.
Blonde, Imagery, SexistBlonde Geometry: Attached is problem 3 on a geometry examination…
Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery90’s Gamer: Everytime I hear people complain about online gaming, I wish they could experience my pain of online gaming in the 90’s…
Asian, Facebook, Imagery, RacistHumans Of Sunnybank: In Asia culture, it’s important for wife to trust husband and let him be the leader in the house. That’s why after I am married, I will always leave big decision to him – for example, choosing between buy me a Chanel for birthday or go sleep on sofa for a whole month instead.
Africa, Imagery, RacistEvery 60 Seconds In Africa: Every 60 seconds in Africa… a minute passes.
Buses, ImageryGo Home Bus, You’re Drunk!: Go home bus, you’re drunk!
Facebook, Imagery, TattoosTough Tattoos: Tough Tattoos: You Don’t Have to Like Me.
Clothes, Hats, Imagery, TiesYou Hang Around, I’ll Go On Ahead: You hang around, I’ll go on ahead.
Birth Control, Imagery, RisquéEffective Birth Control: The most effective birth control method known to man.
Australia, Imagery, Julia Gillard, Kevin Rudd, PoliticalWhere Was I Before I Was So Rudely Interrupted?: [Kevin Rudd] Where was I before I was so rudely interrupted?
Imagery, Movie Posters, PiranhasPiranhas On An Escalator: If I were you, I’d take the stairs…
Religious, RisquéSisters Of St Francis: Sisters of St. Francis House of Prostitution…
ShoppingGrocery Shopping On An Empty Stomach: Accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I’m the proud owner of aisle 4.
☺Talking Clock: Why, that’s my Talking Clock…
Coathangers, Imagery, WarningsDo Not Swallow Coathangers!: Caution: Do Not Swallow Coathangers!
Australia, Cars, Floods, Imagery, MechanicalDunno Mate, Maybe She’s Flooded?: Dunno mate, maybe she’s flooded?
Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, SexistAmazing Hidden Images: Amazing Hidden Images!
America, RacistAmerican State Mottos: American State Mottos…
Imagery, Motorbikes, SportOh Look, A Penny: Oh look, a penny!
Daughters, Families, Imagery, MothersMum, What’s It Like To Have The Greatest Daughter In The World?: Mum, what’s it like to have the greatest daughter in the world? I don’t know dear… you’ll have to ask grandma.
Imagery, Jail, Logan, RacistI’m From Logan: I killed a man. You? I’m from Logan.
Flies, Ipad, NewspapersModern Newspapers: I was visiting my daughter last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper…
Batman, Imagery, WomenNana Nana Nana Batman!: Nana Nana Nana Batman!
Cables, Cables, Geeky, Imagery, UsbCables Exist In 4-dimensional Space: Proof USB cables exist in 4-dimensional space.
Geeky, ImageryDied: …from not forwarding that text message to 10 people.
Political, RacistLetter To America: Letter to America
Imagery, Mobiles, Mouse Traps, Phones, TelstraCustomer Retention: Free Phone Telstra Style.
Animals, Imagery, JokeThe World’s Funniest Joke: The World’s Funniest Joke…
Cake, Ikea, ImageryHappy 25th Birthday IKEA!: Happy 25th Birthday IKEA! Here’s your cake
Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, Sauron, Traffic LightsKneel, Says The Demon Light: Stop says the red light, go says the green. Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between. Kneel, says the demon light, with its eye of coal. Sauron knows your licence plate, and stares into your soul.
Accidents, Buses, Imagery, Rivers, Wildlife DocumentariesA Wild Bus Drinking Water: And here we see a wild bus drinking water from a river.
Catholic, Priests, ReligiousThe Priest And The Hairdryer: In Catholic schools students are taught that lying is a sin. Instructors are also advised that using a bit of imagination is OK…
Food, ImageryPeanut Delivery: Peanut Delivery…
Arthur C Clarke, Astrology, QuotationsI Don’t Believe In Astrology: I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re sceptical.
SexistCelibacy: Many aspects of human sexuality are very puzzling…
ReligiousThe Pope Is Busted: After getting all of Pope John Paul’s luggage loaded into the limo…
Imagery, MathSeven Ate Nine: Six, Seven, Ate, Nine…
Books, ImageryScary Campfire Stories: Book Style: And then… after they had ripped out half of her pages… they turned her… into a movie!
Imagery, Michael Jackson, Performers, SingersMichael Jackson Is Dead: You Can Come Out Now…
Bacon, ImageryTen Pieces Of Bacon: If I had 10 pieces of bacon, and you took 4, what would you have? Yes, that’s right you’d have a black eye and a bruised hand.
America, Congress, Imagery, It Crowd, PoliticalCongress: Have You Tried Turning It Off And On Again?: Congress: have you tried turning it off and on again?
JokeLaurel And Hardy: Laurel and Hardy were repairing their roof. All of a sudden, Hardy lost his balance and went tumbling on the ground…
Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, Sexist, WorkJob Application: Sexist job application.
Animals, Food, ImageryBoiled Lobster: “I hate the way they scream when you boil them!”
Cars, Computers, GeekyMicrosoft Car: Microsoft and General Motors on the Automobile.
Aeroplanes, Buses, Cars, Electricity, Firefighters, Imagery, VaccinesRe-Think Vaccines: Next time someone tells you to re-think vaccines, show them this.
Animated, Fighting, Imagery, WweThrown Out Of The Ring: Thrown out of the Ring.
England, Imagery, UkAnarchy In The UK: Would you like some tea?
Cameras, Cannons, Imagery, NikonI Have A Cannon: You have a Nikon? I have a Cannon.
Animals, JokeThe Dead Rabbit: The Dead Rabbit, aka The Worst Joke Ever…
Animals, Conspiracies, Dogs, Imagery, SheepThat Conspiracy Stuff: I’m telling you – the man and the dog are definitely working together…
Imagery, Jobs, Pie Charts, Statistics, WorkChance Of Keeping Your Job If You’re Wrong More Than 75% Of The Time: Chance of keeping your job if you’re wrong more than 75% of the time.
Imagery, Paper, Plants, TreesIrony: Drawing Trees On Paper: Irony: Drawing trees on paper.
Imagery, MotivationalSomeone Out There Cares: I want you to know that someone out there cares. Not me, but someone does.
Imagery, Israeli, Palestinian, Political, RacistIsraeli Settlers: Of course we want peace–this piece and this piece and this piece and this piece…
America, Bear Arms, Constitution, Democracy, Imagery, Second AmendmentThe Second Amendment: The Right To Bear Arms: The second amendment gives Americans the right to bear arms. I think many have taken this out of context.
America, Guns, ImageryHow To Sneak Chocolate Into An American Movie Theatre.: How to sneak chocolate into an American movie theatre.
Apple, Imagery, Ios, Ios6, TransportApple IOS6 Maps: For the benefit of passengers using Apple iOS6, local area maps are available from the booking office.
Imagery, Risqué, SexistThe Lift: A man and woman meet outside an elevator door…
Advertising, Imagery, Motorola, Tv, VintageTelevision Benefits Your Children: How television benefits your children.
Animals, Imagery, RabbitsWhat Rabbits Do: What rabbits do when humans go out…
Accidents, Food, ImageryMilkshake Meets Door: A woman runs into a door carrying two milkshakes.
Alice In Wonderland, Imagery, Movies, SexistUltimate Chick Flick: Ultimate chick flick: Two women fighting over a pair of shoes
Children, Parenting, SportChild Beating: A seven year old boy was at the centre of a courtroom drama…
Australia, SexistAussie Men: Aussie men… struggling with the booze…
Geeky, Imagery, RomanceRoses Are #FF0000: Roses are #FF0000, Violets are #0000FF.
JokesToday Is Sunday: Attention! Today is Sunday. Share this on your Facebook wall. Within seven days you’ll get another Sunday…
Imagery, RisquéThe Exact Spot My Zipper Broke: The exact spot my zipper broke.
Jokes, Pool, Puns, Sport, TreesWhat’s Green, Fuzzy, And If It Fell Out Of A Tree It Would Kill You?: What’s green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?
Imagery, Jealousy, Relationships, SmsBaby Are You Jealous?: Baby are you jealous?
Imagery, SexistWomen: Yes, No, Maybe…: I think I have that women-talk all figured out…
Business Cards, ImageryYou Have A Nice… Business Card: A business card: “You have a nice… {day, ass, attitude}.
Boobs, Imagery, Sexist, WomenI Wish These Were Brains: Sexist, but contains breasts…
ImageryEmoticons: Lots of emoticons…
Acronyms, Imagery, Iphone, PhonesIDK LY TTYL: IDK LY TTYL: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later.
Bananas, Cars, Food, ImageryGet In The Banana: No time to explain. Get in the banana!
Cartoons, ImageryFor A Good Time: For a good time, call…
Clowns, Imagery, Risqué, Sex, WomenShe Made That Clown Extremely Happy: She made that clown extremely happy.
Computers, Evolution, ImagerySomething Went Terribly Wrong: Something, somewhere went terribly wrong.
Marriage, SexistSecrets To A Happy Marriage: Secrets to a Happy Marriage…
Imagery, Jobs, WorkThings Don’t Really Change: Interviewer: What would you consider to be your greatest weakness?
Cars, SexistHow To Change Your Oil: How to Change your Oil: A guide for men & women…
Cars, Imagery, Logan, My Family Stickers, Racist, StickersLogan My Family Stickers: Logan My Family Stickers.
Animals, Boobs, Bras, Cats, ImageryBooby Trap: Nooo! It’s a booby trap!
Animals, Cars, Driving, Imagery, KoalasDon’t Worry I’m Koalafied To Drive: Don’t worry I’m Koalafied to drive.
Dalai Lama, Daleks, Dr Who, Imagery, Reincarnation, TvDalek Lama: Reincarnate! Reincarnate!
Communist, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, SoftwareCommunist Traitor: It looks like you’re a Communist traitor…
Imagery, SexistCall The Rescue Squad!: I’m sorry dear. I can’t hear you. I’m in the kitchen, making you a sandwich.
Animated, Flash, Geeky, ImageryL33t H4x0r H4ml37: Tales for the L33T PATR TOO - HAMLET
America, Britain, Political, Queen Elizabeth Ii, Queens, Racist, RoyaltyA MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN: A message to the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.
Alcohol, Australia, Bob Hawke, Imagery, Oxford, PoliticalBob Hawke’s Yard Of Ale: While at university at Oxford in 1963, Bob Hawke, former Prime Minister of Australia, entered the Guinness Book of Records here at the Turf Tavern after downing a yard of ale (that’s just over 2½ pints!) in just 11 seconds.
Cars, Computer Games, Geeky, ImageryGamers: The Mentality: Objects in mirror are losing.
Apple, Computers, Imagery, Phones, Religious, Steve JobsI Have An APP For That!: Steve Jobs, 1955 – 2011.
Facebook, Imagery, RisquéFacebook Sex: Taking status updates too far.
Imagery, Logan, Racist, RisquéIn Logan: Meanwhile… in Logan…
Imagery, School24 Chickens: 24 Chickens: The shoe rack at the front door…
Advertising, Babies, Beer, Imagery, Mothers, VintageHow Mother And Baby “Picked Up”: Blatz Beer: How Mother and Baby “Picked Up”.
Imagery, Injuries, Sexist, SportMen & Women In Sport: Women: No problem girls… I can go on. Men: Ahhhh! I’m dying.
Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Imagery, Internet Explorer, Opera, SafariBrowsers: Their Differences: The differences between the major web browsers.
Imagery, Iphone, Nokia, PhonesNokia Versus The IPhone: The strongest phones ever!
Acid, Animals, Cats, Cocaine, Coffee, Drugs, Heroin, Imagery, Marijuana, Mushrooms, Shrooms, WeedDrug Cats: An illustrated cat-guide to drugs…
Animals, ImageryNot Allowed: When a dog is all out of luck.
ImageryWhy Women Live Longer Than Men: Genetics - Why women live longer than men.
Animals, Dogs, ImageryI See What You Did There: I see what you did there… also, over here…
Imagery, Phones, SmsChosen One: I’m the chosen one…
Imagery, SignsDon’t Grow Up: Don’t grow up. It’s a trap.
☺Got To Love Drunk People: >A man, and his wife are awakened at 3 o’clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door…
ReligiousThe Atheist & The Bear: The Atheist and the Religious Bear
☺A Middle-aged Woman Decides To Have A Facelift…: A middle-aged woman decides to have a facelift…
Computers, ImageryTimes Change: …but other things don’t.
PoliticalPolitically Correct Primer: A politically correct primer.
Animals, Imagery, SharksMisunderstood Sharks: Misunderstood Sharks.
Apple, Imagery, Iphone, PhonesUpgrade Kit For IPhone 4 Owners: Upgrade kit for iPhone 4 owners. Only 99¢.
RisquéTarzan Sex: When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex…
Animals, Australia, Crocodiles, Emus, Imagery, Kangaroos, Koalas, Kookaburras, Police, Sharks, Spiders, Woolworths26 Everyday Occurrences In Australia: When you live on a barely hospitable desert island that was once a continent-sized penal colony, your life tends to be a little more badass than the average person’s.
Food, ImageryThrowing People: A tomato’s fear.
Animals, Cats, Imagery, SmsCat Facts: Thanks for signing up for Cat Facts!
Animals, Dogs, ImagerySo We Got Pugsy A New Chew Toy…: So we got Pugsy a new chew toy…
Australia, Football, Imagery, Muslim, Racist, SportWell, I Guess We’ll Beheading Home Now: Well, I guess we’ll beheading home now…
Animated, Babies, Fireworks, ImageryFirst Time Seeing Fireworks: A baby sees fireworks for the first time.
SexistSocialize: Men socialize by insulting each other…
ImageryAlzheimer’s: “I may have alzheimer’s, but at least I don’t have alzheimer’s”
Advertising, Boats, Imagery, Oceans, Oxi-clean, ShipsThe Power Of Oxi-Clean: The Power of Oxi-Clean.
Computers, Geeky, It, Technology101 Things You Do Not Want...: 101 Things You Do Not Want Your System Administrator to say.
Animals, Irish, RacistIrish Pets: Two Irish men walk into a pet shop…
English, ImageryLike If You Can Raed Tihs: Like if you can raed tihs whit no porlqebm baecuas yuor jsut taht sarmt.

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