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Search Ned Martin’s Amused

Ned Martin’s Amused Pages

Facebook, Imagery, MoneyHow To Make Money From Facebook
How to make money from facebook: 1) just go to “Account Settings”; 2) Press “Deactivate your account”; 3) Go to work.
Computers, ImageryInsert Disk Two
Please insert disk two.
Drugs, Imagery, Marijuana, SexistI Tried Pot Once. Now I’m Gay!
I tried pot once. Now I’m gay!
Daughters, Families, Imagery, MothersMum, What’s It Like To Have The Greatest Daughter In The World?
Mum, what’s it like to have the greatest daughter in the world? I don’t know dear… you’ll have to ask grandma.
Animated, Australia, Imagery, Internet, Political, TelstraBuilding The NBN From Telstra Copper
Building the NBN from Telstra Copper
Imagery, Shirts, TshirtsAttention Deficit Disorder
Ask me about my attention deficit disorder or pie or my cat. A dog. I have a bike. Do you like TV? I saw a rock. Hi.
Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, PhonesIPhone 6 Repair Kit
iPhone 6 repair kit.
Animals, Australia, Birds, Dingoes, Dolphins, Fish, Galahs, Imagery, Kangaroos, Koalas, Kookaburras, Parrots, Penguins, Snakes, Toads, TurtlesAccurate Animal Names: Australian Edition
Accurate Animal Names: Australian Edition
Artists, Justin Bieber, MusiciansDear Justin Bieber Haters
I owe my life to Justin Bieber…
Football, Relationships, Sexist, SportThe Loving Husband
A man had two of the best tickets for the opening State of Origin match. As he sits down, another man comes along and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him…
Animals, Cats, Imagery, WorkI Used To Smile… Until I Worked Retail.
I used to smile… until I worked retail.
Alcohol, Drunk, ImagerySlur In Cursive
When I drink, I don’t slur my words… I speak in cursive.
Animals, Cupcakes, Food, Imagery, LemursA Lemur Who Has Discovered The Wondrousness Of Cupcakes For The Fist Time.
A lemur who has discovered the wondrousness of cupcakes for the fist time.
Canada, Imagery, Protests, RiotsCanadian Riots
Canadian Riots: Sorry to bother you, but perhaps you should take a break as our mayor?
Imagery, ScissorsI Run With Scissors
I run with scissors: It makes me feel dangerous.
Books, Imagery, Racist, ShopsWong Fook Hing Book Store
If you cannot find the book that you are looking for, then you’re obviously in the… Wong Fook Hing Book Store!
Imagery, WaterThe Deadly Facts About Water
The Deadly Facts about Water
Animals, Dogs, Imagery, SpidersSpider Dog
Spider Dog…
English, Grammar, ImageryGrammar Matters
Two Google searches: One for “how can u” and one for “how can an individual”
Imagery, Numbers, Star WarsWhy Was Five Afraid Of Seven?
Why was Five afraid of Seven? Because Six Seven Eight.
Fire, ImageryFire Distinguisher
Fire Distinguisher: Yep, that’s fire…
Imagery, MondaysShortest Horror Story: Monday
Shortest horror story: Monday.
Hats, Imagery, SportYou Can’t Beat Stupid…
I wish they would invent something to keep the sun out of my eyes…
Animals, Chickens, Eggs, Imagery, SignsBoneless Chicken
Boneless Chicken
Accidents, Food, ImageryMilkshake Meets Door
A woman runs into a door carrying two milkshakes.
Geeky, History, Internet, ItHow The Internet Started: A History Lesson
How the Internet Started: A History Lesson.
Forecasting, ImageryJohn’s Weather Forecasting Stone
One of the most reliable ways of forecasting…
Animals, Dieting, DogsPurina Diet
The Purina Pet Food Diet.
Alcohol, Imagery, Marriage, WineSecrets To A Long, Happy Marriage
An old woman was sipping on a glass of wine…
Animals, Elephants, Imagery, RisquéElephant Upskirt
Elephant Upskirt.
Advertising, Imagery, Motorola, Tv, VintageTelevision Benefits Your Children
How television benefits your children.
PoliticalLabel Instructions
French Label Instructions
Animals, Dogs, Education, Elephants, Exams, Fish, Imagery, Monkeys, Penguins, School, SealsOur Education System
[To an assorted group of animals] Our Education System: For a fair selection everybody has to take the same exam: Please climb that tree.
Books, Imagery, Sexist“Understanding Women” Now Available In Paperback
The book “Understanding Women” is now available in paperback!
Imagery, Psychotherapists, SignsPsycho The Rapist
Psycho the Rapist It’s one word George!
SchoolThe History Of The World
The History of the World, as written by the next generation…
Beer, Imagery, SexistYou Never Listen To Me…
You never listen to me! You only hear what you want to hear!
Imagery, PhotographyOlympus Fights Back
Olympus Fights Back: Canon versus Olympus
Australia, Imagery, Logan, RacistAll Trades Logan
All Trades Logan.
Geeky, Imagery, RomanceRoses Are #FF0000
Roses are #FF0000, Violets are #0000FF.
Alcohol, Imagery, SexistLet’s Go For A Drink…
Goldstar Beer Ads: What goes through the mind of men and women when they’re asked to go for a drink…
Imagery, SexistDifference Between Men And Women
The difference between men and women…
ImageryThe Ego Boost Urinal
The Ego Boost Urinal.
Coolers, Imagery, SexistIf A Man Says He Will Fix It, He Will
If a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months.
Fish, Imagery, MermaidsReverse Mermaid
You are alone on an uninhabited island. Which of these would you choose as your companion?
Foot Smart
See if you can outsmart your foot…
Imagery, MathSeven Ate Nine
Six, Seven, Ate, Nine…
Australia, Imagery, Kevin Rudd, PoliticalThe Many Hands Of Kevin Rudd
The many hand gestures of Kevin Rudd.
Australia, Imagery, Matches, Pauline Hanson, Political, Redheads, RednecksRednecks
Redneck Matches…
America, Capitalist, ImageryIn Capitalist America…
Bank robs you!
Batman, Imagery, Iphone, Phones, SmsI’m Batman
SMS conversation between Tim and Batman.
Ballerinas, Imagery, WomenFreshly Washed Ballerinas
Freshly washed ballerinas.
Animals, Imagery, SharksFlying Sharks
Flying sharks… we’re screwed.
George Bush, Imagery, Iran, Political, Weapons Of Mass Destruction, WmdI Can’t Believe The “WMD” Trick Is Working Again With Iran
I can’t believe the “WMD” trick is working again with Iran. Suckers…
Australia, Democracy, Political, RacistThe Ant And The Grasshopper
The Original Story of the Ant and the Grasshopper.
Australia, Iraq, PoliticalThe Australian Constitution: For Iraq
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq…
Animals, Imagery, SlugsFeeling Sluggish
I’ve been feeling a bit sluggish…
Cartoons, Food, ImageryChocolate Pudding
It’s four o’clock in the morning. Why on earth are you making chocolate pudding?
Imagery, Michael Jackson, Performers, SingersMichael Jackson Is Dead
You Can Come Out Now…
Chewing Gum, Imagery, WarningsDo Not Swallow Chewing Gum
Warning: Do not swallow chewing gum!
Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, Vintage, VitaminsThe Harder A Wife Works, The Cuter She Looks
So the harder a wife works, the cuter she looks!
Bikes, Imagery, PostsHave You Seen This Post?
Have you seen this post? He didn’t.
Animals, RisquéDoctor Bob Had Sex With One Of His Patients…
Doctor Bob had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long…
Imagery, Movies, RomanceGirlfriends: Harry Potter Versus Twilight
Ginny: When Harry broke up with me for my safety…
Animals, Birds, Imagery, Owls, RegretsRegrets
I stay up late every night, and realise it’s a bad idea every morning.
Jokes, RisquéWhere Is Amanda’s Husband?
Amanda is 21 years older than her son John. In 6 years from now, Amanda will be 5 times as old as John…
Joke, MathMath Problem
John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now?
Chess, Feminists, Imagery, Sexist, WomenHow To Play Chess
How to Play Chess: Whites go first. The Queen must protect the King.
Animals, Imagery, TurtlesYou’ll Never Be As Happy As This Turtle
You’ll never be as happy as this turtle.
Animals, Bears, Imagery, PenguinsDo One Brave Thing Today
Do one brave thing today… then run like hell!
Boobs, Imagery, Sexist, WomenI Wish These Were Brains
Sexist, but contains breasts…
Computer Games, Imagery, SexistCall Of Duty: Women’s Edition
Call of Duty: Women’s Edition.
Australia, Bbq, Cooking, Food, SexistBarbecue Etiquette
Aussie Barbecue Season.
Imagery, Police, ProtestsPolice & Protesters Help Fat Man Remove Pants
Police & Protesters help fat man remove pants…
RisquéTemptation
Temptation, by a soon to be married man.
Animals, Beaches, Imagery, Signs, Stingrays, WarningsShuffle Your Feet For Stingrays
Shuffle your feet for Stingrays: One of the many dangers in Australian waters.
Alcohol, ChemistryAlcohol Is A Solution
Not to get technical but according to chemistry alcohol is a solution.
Grammar, SpellingYou Read That Wrong
That awkward moment when you read that wrong…
Animals, Boats, Fish, Fishing, ImageryGive A Man A Fish And He Has Food For A Day
Give a man a fish and he has food for a day. Teach a man to fish and he has to buy bamboo rods, graphite reels, monofilament lines, neoprene waders, creels, tackleboxes, lures, flies, spinners, worm rigs, slip sinkers, offset hooks, gore-tex hats, 20 pocket vests, fish finders, depth sounders, radar, boats, trailers, global positioning systems, coolers and six-packs.
Animals, Imagery, RabbitsWhat Rabbits Do
What rabbits do when humans go out…
Imagery, Risqué, SexSex Tape
I made a sex tape. Shhh!
Animals, ImagerySeven Sharks
If you own 7 cats then people will think you’re crazy…
America, France, Ireland, Irish, Racist, RisquéThe Penis Study
The American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man’s penis was larger than the shaft…
Animals, Elephants, Imagery, Kenya, ZoosMan & Elephant
In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Louisiana State University…
Beer, ImagerySix Die In Horror Smash
Six Die in Horror Smash.
GrammarI. Like. It. How. When. You. Read. This. The. Little. Voice. In. Your. Head. Takes. Pauses.
I. Like. It. How. When. You. Read. This. The. Little. Voice. In. Your. Head. Takes. Pauses.
For Sale, Imagery, Posters, PrintersPrinter For Sale
Printer For Sale. Works Terribly.
Animals, Australia, Cockatoos, Flies, Imagery, Kangaroos, Kookaburras, Magpies, Possums, Snakes, Spiders, SunburnTypically Australian Problems
Some typically Australian problems that other people don’t face.
Fire, Fire Extinguishers, ImageryFire Extinguisher Fire
Fire Extinguisher Fire: What do you do now?
Animals, Crocodiles, ImageryCrocodile Lion
An interesting dinnertime story…
ImageryI See Dumb People
I see dumb people… They are everywhere!
America, Bear Arms, Constitution, Democracy, Imagery, Second AmendmentThe Second Amendment: The Right To Bear Arms
The second amendment gives Americans the right to bear arms. I think many have taken this out of context.
SexistA Woman’s Wish
A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods…
Imagery, SexistHow Could You Be So Insensitive?
How Could You Be So Insensitive? This is what it looks like from the other person’s perspective.
ImageryFight Apathy
…or don’t.
Actors, Famous People, Imagery, Movie Stars, Robert De NiroRobert De Niro, De Faro
First Robert De Niro, then Robert De Faro.
Comics, Imagery, Movies, WorkPopular Sayings #38
Dress for the job you want, not the one you have.
Animals, Imagery, Nuclear Power, SpidersSpider Farm
This seems like a disaster waiting to happen…
Game Shows, TvAmusing Hollywood Squares Answers
Amusing Hollywood Squares Answers.
ImageryElephant Bone
…just to confuse future archaeologists.
Animals, Business, Dogs, ImageryAssistant Branch Manager
The Branch Manager and the Assistant Branch Manager.
How To Make Sure You’re A Normal Person
A quick and easy test to determine if you are a normal person…
Animals, Imagery, RacistBlack Bears
Uh oh Howard. Looks like this area has black bears…
Highway Patrol, Police, Speeding, WorkcoverSweet Justice
Workcover versus the police…
Animals, Cats, Imagery, Mayans, PredictionsWorst Apocalypse Ever
[A grumpy cat the day the Mayan calendar ended] “Still Here. Worst Apocalypse Ever.”
Animals, ImageryWhat Animals Dream...
What animals dream.
America, Animals, Australia, Britain, Cows, India, Irish, PoliticalYou Have Two Cows
The eponymous cows is used to demonstrate the advantages and flaws of certain economic systems.
Accidents, Animals, Canada, Imagery, Moose, News, TvCanadian News
Canadian News: Quebec snowmobiler dies after driving under a moose.
Computers, GeekyUnix Commands
Amusing UNIX commands.
Animals, Dogs, ImageryA Dog Named Stay
I bought a dog once. Named him ‘Stay’…
Animals, Halloween, Imagery, SquirrelsHalloween Squirrel
A squirrel got its head stuck in a Halloween decoration and terrified a neighbourhood…
Imagery, Sexist, Tv, WomenCooking Shows
If we watched cooking shows the way guys watch sports.
Archaeology, Canada, Cars, Imagery, SnowCanadian Archaeology
Canadian Archaeology: Digging a car out from under the snow
Animals, Australia, Dropbears, Imagery, KoalasDrop Bears – Department Of Dangerous Fauna Management
Dropbears are a very real danger to all Australians. Almost one in ten Australians has been attacked by a Dropbear, and the rate is even higher for foreign visitors. Don’t become another statistic. Always beware low branches and doorframes. Look up. Stay Alive.
ImageryCaution: Door May Open
Caution: Door May Open.
Imagery, RisquéSave Paper
Save paper…
CarsMini Cooper
A guy driving a Mini Cooper pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce…
Animals, Dogs, Imagery, Werewolves, WolvesAware Wolf
A werewolf. A wearwolf. A warewolf. Aware wolf.
Cars, ImageryHonked At A Prius
Honked at a Prius, scared the crap out of it.
ImageryFingers Move
I think you’re spending too much time on the computer. Your fingers move when you talk…
Bacon, ImageryTen Pieces Of Bacon
If I had 10 pieces of bacon, and you took 4, what would you have? Yes, that’s right you’d have a black eye and a bruised hand.
Gandalf, Harry Potter, Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, Patrick Stewart, Star Trek, Star WarsHow To Offend Four Groups Of Geeks With One Picture
How to offend four groups of geeks with one picture.
Animals, Cats, Imagery, MetallicaMettalicat
Mettalicat: Sleeps with one eye open, gripping his pillow tight.
Australia, Imagery, Racist, Tintin, WynnumThe Adventures Of TinTin: TinTin In Wynnum
The Adventures of TinTin: TinTin in Wynnum.
America, Imagery, Obama, PoliticalBarack Obama: What I Actually Do
Barack Obama: What I actually do.
Geeky, ImageryDied
…from not forwarding that text message to 10 people.
Browsers, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, WindowsFirefox Has Encountered…
…an unexpected problem with Windows.
Marriage, SexistSecrets To A Happy Marriage
Secrets to a Happy Marriage…
Dyslexia, Imagery, Sex, Shirts, TshirtsI Have Sex Daily
I have sex daily! I mean dyslexia! Fcuk.
Batman, Imagery, Superman, WonderwomanIt Is Such A Drag When Someone In The Group Can’t Fly…
It is such a drag when someone in the group can’t fly… forcing everybody else to have to ride up the elevator too…
WorkExecutive Test
The following short quiz consists of four questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a “professional”…
Harry Potter, Imagery, Magic, Risqué, WandsReplace The Word “wand” With “dick” In Any Sentence In Harry Potter
Replace the word “wand” with “dick” in any sentence in Harry Potter…
Animals, Fish, Girls, ImagerySaved A Fish From Drowning
Here is a heart warming picture of a little girl that saved a fish from drowning.
Beaches, Imagery, WomenBitches Be Trippin’
Bitches be trippin’
Board Games, ImageryMarry Me
Scrabble Edition.
Dates, ImageryMay The 4th Be With You
If today is “May the 4th be with you” does that mean tomorrow is “revenge of the 5th?”
Animals, ImageryUsed Cows
Used Cows for Sale.
Hands, Imagery, Risqué, Valentine’s DayValentine Hand
Of course I’ll be your valentine. Let’s stay home and watch some porn.
The Poodle And The Leopard
Experience trumps youth.
Grammar, Imagery, TomorrowTomorrow (noun)
Tomorrow (noun): a mystical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation and achievement is stored.
ImageryAlzheimer’s
“I may have alzheimer’s, but at least I don’t have alzheimer’s”
PoliticalOrdering Pizza In The Year 2025
Ordering pizza in the year 2025…
SexistMen Are Like...
Men are like…
Africa, Bus, ImageryDo You Ever Get So Angry…
Do you ever get so angry… you throw a VCR at a burning bus?
Imagery, SexistHusband Glasses
I’m returning these glasses I bought for my husband. He’s still not seeing things my way.
Clothes, Hats, Imagery, TiesYou Hang Around, I’ll Go On Ahead
You hang around, I’ll go on ahead.
ImagerySound Thug
Sound Thug
Fans, ImageryThank You To All My Fans
Thank you to all my fans
Imagery, RisquéThumb War
One, two three, four. I declare a thumb war…
Illusion, ImageryThe Angry/Calm Illusion
The Angry/Calm Illusion.
Cameras, Cannons, Imagery, NikonI Have A Cannon
You have a Nikon? I have a Cannon.
Food, ImageryThrowing People
A tomato’s fear.
Pages By Date
A list of all the pages, sorted by their last updated or creation dates.
Imagery, Toilet PaperToilet Paper
A piece of toilet paper saving another piece…
Facebook, Imagery, Sexist, Sport, VolleyballLadies Beach Volleyball
Just been watching Ladies Beach Volleyball, and there’s already been a wrist injury… but I should be OK by Friday.
Emoji, Imagery, Phones, SmsEmoji
Alien blood transfusions are illegal for ghosts, but beach chickens win!
Imagery, Shirts, Tourettes, TshirtsWhat Do We Want? A Cure For Tourettes!
What do we want? A cure for tourettes! When do we want it? …
Books, ImageryScary Campfire Stories: Book Style
And then… after they had ripped out half of her pages… they turned her… into a movie!
Advertising, Gay, Imagery, Showers, VintageBradley Group Showers
Bradley Group Showers.
Cosmetics, ImageryPapercut Locator
Papercut Locator.
France, Imagery, North Korea, RacistFrance Surrenders To North Korea
France surrenders to North Korea
Imagery, SexistRealistic Remotes
Some more useful remote controls we would like to see.
Beer, ChartsBeer Troubleshooting Chart
Beer Troubleshooting Chart.
Imagery, Risqué, SexistInteresting ATM
Man using a sexually provocative ATM.
Crocs, Friday The 13th, Imagery, Jason Voorhees, Movies, ShoesJason Voorhees Gets Crocs
Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th) gets Crocs.
Christian, Imagery, Jewish, Muslim, RacistAn Atheist, A Jew, And A Christian Walk Into A Bar…
An atheist, a Jew, and a Christian walk into a bar…
Boobs, Imagery, RisquéBoob Staring
Shirt: Please tell your boobs to quit staring at my eyes.
Imagery, SportHandegg
Football versus Handegg: It’s not football…
Chocolate, Geeky, Homes, Honey, Imagery, Milk, PhonesQuite Literally…
I phone, you tube. Hi honey, I’m home. Chocolate milk shake.
Babies, ImageryResisting A Rest
If I refuse to nap… is that resisting a rest?
GeekyHuman Hotfix
Hotfix Patch for Humans released.
Dalai Lama, Daleks, Dr Who, Imagery, Reincarnation, TvDalek Lama
Reincarnate! Reincarnate!
Imagery, TeaMr. Tea
Mr. Tea the teapot.
Geeky, Imagery, Sexist, WomenHazardous Materials Data Sheet – Woman
Hazardous Materials Data Sheet – Woman.
Imagery, Motorbikes, RisquéSexy Motorbike
I am not too sure what to say about this…
Imagery, SexistBefore And After...
Before and after marriage…
Business Cards, Geeky, Imagery, Notepad, WindowsNotepad Business Card
A business card styled to look like Windows Notepad.
Engineering, Flowcharts, Geeky, ImageryEngineering Flowchart
Nothing duct tape and WD-40 can’t fix…
Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryAnimals That Didn’t Expect Their Humans To Come Home So Early!
Animals that didn’t expect their humans to come home so early!
Drugs, ImageryToo High
Quick! Grab my hand! I… I can’t! You’re too high! What?
Computer Games, ImageryVideo Games Ruined My Life
Video games ruined my life. Good thing I have two more.
Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, Sauron, Traffic LightsKneel, Says The Demon Light
Stop says the red light, go says the green. Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between. Kneel, says the demon light, with its eye of coal. Sauron knows your licence plate, and stares into your soul.
Australia, SexistAussie Men
Aussie men… struggling with the booze…
Animals, Dogs, ImageryHide Yo Kids!
Hide yo kids! Hide yo wife!
English, WordsWhat Is A Word Made Up Of 4 Letters Yet Is Also Made Up Of 3
What is a word made up of 4 letters yet is also made up of 3. Although is written with 8 letters, and then with 4. Rarely consists of 6, and never is written with 5.
Animals, Dogs, ImageryFree Puppy
Free puppy…
Imagery, PhonesJack’s Phone
Why aren’t you answering…?
Imagery, Seniors, WarDrafting Guys Over 60
New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!
Imagery, Risqué, SupermanSuper Boner
Super-boner: A super problem.
Banks, ImageryI Was Going To Make A Joke About A Bank, But Then I Lost Interest…
I was going to make a joke about a bank, but then I lost interest…
AustraliaText Of A Letter From A Kid From Eromanga To Mum And Dad.
Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad.
Imagery, Injuries, Sexist, SportMen & Women In Sport
Women: No problem girls… I can go on. Men: Ahhhh! I’m dying.
Jewish, RacistBacon Tree
Back in cowboy times, a westbound wagon train was lost and low on food…
Imagery, Self-help, SexSex Maniac
Dear Dr Ruth, I’m writing to tell you my problem. It seems I have been married to a sex maniac for the past 22 years…
Cars, Imagery, MoviesDiesel
Hey, wanna know what I put in my car?
Einstein, Imagery, Phones, TechnologyThe Day Einstein Feared
The day that Einstein feared may have finally arrived.
Blonde, SexistA Young Brunette Goes To The Doctor...
A young brunette goes to the doctor…
Alcohol, Goon, Imagery, Logan, Police, RacistLargest Goon Bust In Logan’s History
Logan police in conjunction with the A.F.P. hauled in the largest goon bust in Logan’s history. With an estimated street value of $39.
Imagery, LoveThis Summarises My Love Life
This summarises my love life. I’m the guy in blue…
SexistWinter Classes For Men
Winter Classes for Men at the Learning Centre for Adults
Australia, Gillard, PoliticalPatriotic Retirement Plan
Ms Gillard’s Patriotic Retirement Plan.
Animals, Penguins, SleepIf Penguins Have Knees
3 out of 4 voices in my head want to sleep (the other wants to know if penguins have knees!)
Geeky, InternetDiary Of An AOL Luser
Diary of an AOL Luser.
Africa, Animals, ImageryRhino Painting
A rhinoceros painting…
Geeky, JokesIntellectual Jokes
Believing this statement will make you happier.
Imagery, Iphone, Nokia, PhonesNokia Versus The IPhone
The strongest phones ever!
Animals, Boobs, Imagery, SlothsLook At This Boob
Look at this boob. This is a nice boob.
Animals, Birds, Chickens, Imagery, MarriageMarriage: Before & After (Chicken Style)
Marriage: Before & After (Chicken Style).
Cars, Imagery, Irish, RacistIrish Car
An advertisement in an Irish Newspaper…
Food, ImageryPeanut Delivery
Peanut Delivery…
Animals, Imagery, SealsThe Seal Of Approval
The Seal of Approval…
C Sharp, Developers, Geeky, Imagery, Java, ProgrammersWhy Do Java Developers Wear Glasses?
Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#!
Computers, Geeky, ImageryWhenever I Have To Force Shutdown
Whenever I have to force shutdown.
Imagery, Posters, ScienceLost Wormhole
Do not attempt capture because you’ll totally screw with the space/time continuum bro.
Imagery, Musicians, Rolling Stones, ZombiesZombies!
Zombies! Oh, wait… false alarm, it’s just the Rolling Stones… carry on!
Animals, Bears, Guns, ImageryWhat Is The Smallest Calibre You Trust To Protect Yourself?
I remember one time while hiking with my girlfriend in northern Alberta and out of nowhere came this huge brown bear charging us, and was she mad!
Animals, Computer Games, Games, Imagery, PhonesAngry Birds
Angry Birds attend Anger Management.
Imagery, Signs, WarningsThrew Caution To The Wind
Looks like someone threw caution to the wind.
Beds, Hotels, Imagery, Phones, SheetsAlways Leave Your Hotel Room Like This
Always leave your hotel room like this
Animals, Bananas, Birds, Food, Imagery, ParrotsBanana Parrot Terrorism
A parrot eating bananas.
Imagery, Marriage, Onions, People, ProposingProposing With An Onion
Proposing with an onion: Guaranteed to cry.
Alice In Wonderland, Imagery, Movies, SexistUltimate Chick Flick
Ultimate chick flick: Two women fighting over a pair of shoes
Animals, Imagery, RacoonsOh… Hi… Umm… Meow?
Oh… hi… Umm… meow?
Animated, Fighting, Imagery, WweThrown Out Of The Ring
Thrown out of the Ring.
SexistEvening Classes For Men
Instructive evening classes for men…
ImageryMichael Jackson's Dog
A rather mean impression of what Michael Jackson’s dog might look like, if it had similar surgery.
Imagery, Risqué, SignsNo Public Motor Boating Permitted
No public motor boating permitted.
Advertising, Food, Fountain, Imagery, Tomato Sauce, WoolworthsBuy Two & Receive A Free Fountain Face!
Buy two and receive a Free Fountain Face!
Imagery, RacistHas One Night Stand
Has one night stand, but way too many books to fit on it.
GeekyIf Dr Seuss Was A Technical Writer
If Dr Seuss Was A Technical Writer.
Australia, Games, Imagery, Logan, Monopoly, RacistLogan Monopoly
Logan Monopoly…
Animals, Dachshunds, Dogs, Imagery, RacingDachshund Racing
Googled “dachshund racing”. Was not disappointed.
Brisbane, Imagery, Logan, Racist, WoodridgeSimba & Woodridge
But what about that shadowy place?
ImageryPolice Station Toilet Stolen
Police Station Toilet Stolen… Cops have nothing to go on.
Cars, Dumbledore, Harry Potter, Imagery, PetrolExpecto Petroleum!
Expecto Petroleum!
Imagery, Political, Politicians, Prostitutes, RisquéHonest Politician
Hi! I’m 32. I’m a politician and I’m honest. Hi. I’m 29, I’m a prostitute and I’m a virgin.
Imagery, Keith Urban, MusiciansKeith Urban Accepted As Genuine Humanoid
Clint Felmingham: Did you know? Keith Urban is accepted by many Americans as a genuine humanoid/musician. Urban, a polymer composite (90% polyethene, 8% alcohol, 2% minor celebrity), was manufactured in Caboolture, Australia in 1987..
Animals, Cats, Geeky, ImagerySchrödinger’s Cat
Wanted: Dead & Alive…
Illusion, ImageryRound Illusion
Unusual round illusion.
Animals, Cows, Horses, ImageryThis Guy’s An Idiot! Quick, Take A Picture!
This guy’s an idiot! Quick, take a picture!
Africa, Animals, Imagery, Lions, SafarisShould I Tell Them I’m Here?
Should I tell them I’m here?
Animated, ImageryA Teaser
You must stare very closely at the door in this image for around 30 seconds…
Geeky, Imagery, TechnologyBack-Up
Image of man backing-up with computer.
Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryJust Being A Cat
Dog attacks person. Put dog to sleep. Cat attacks person. LOL, jus’ bein’ a cat.
SexistCelibacy
Many aspects of human sexuality are very puzzling…
Animals, Geeky, Imagery, Math, SnakesSnakes On A Plane
Snakes on a plane.
Flies, Ipad, NewspapersModern Newspapers
I was visiting my daughter last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper…
Cars, Imagery, MosquitosA Mosquito With A Helmet
Mosquitos flying towards a car.
Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Internet Explorer, Opera, SafariIE Retarded
I hope he doesn’t say something retarded…
Africa, Animals, Cars, Elephants, ImageryYou Know You Are Having A Bad Day When…
You know you are having a bad day when…
Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, Sweaters, VintageMen Are Better Than Women!
Indoors, women are useful — even pleasant. On a mountain they are something of a drag. So don’t go hauling them up a cliff…
ImageryHard To Pay Fine
Touching wires causes instant death…
Animals, Horses, Imagery, Knights, Monty Python, Riding, TvCouldn’t Find My Coconut Shells.
Was gonna ride to work today. Couldn’t find my coconut shells.
Animated, Flash, Illusion, ImageryIllusions
Warning: May induce epilepsy or cardiac arrest…
Animals, Imagery, LlamasGet In The Llama
No time to explain! Get in the llama…
DrugsGranny LSD
Boy asks his Granny, “Have you seen my pills labelled ‘LSD’?”
Animals, Art, Bananas, Carving, Food, Horses, ImageryBanana Carving
Banana Carving.
Children, Imagery, ParentingAn Angry Child
If she doesn’t put me down in about two seconds, I will be forced to use my fist!
SexistSocialize
Men socialize by insulting each other…
America, Democracy, Imagery, TvWelcome To The USA
The Government where the money’s made up and the debt doesn’t matter.
Awards, Imagery, Jobs, Roads, WorkThe Winner Of The “Not My Job” Award
The Winner of the “Not My Job” Award goes to…
Illusion, ImageryAfterburn - Whom Do You See?
Relax and concentrate on the four small dots in the middle of the picture…
Animated, Flash, Geeky, ImageryL33t H4x0r H4ml37
Tales for the L33T PATR TOO - HAMLET
PoliticalPolitically Correct Primer
A politically correct primer.
Christmas, Christmas Lights, ImageryChristmas Lights: Ditto
Ditto to that…
Children, Grace, Prayers, ReligiousSix Year Old Praying
A mother invited some people to dinner…
Comics, English, ImageryThe Accidental Conversation Loop
My greatest social fear: The Accidental Conversation Loop.
Drugs, Food, ImageryEminem Drug Bust
Eminem Drug Bust.
Apple, Boobs, Fashion, Imagery, Ios, Risqué, ShirtsSlide To Unlock
A woman wearing a shirt: Slide to Unlock.
Accidents, Aeroplanes, Imagery, LuggageClosing Airline Luggage Doors
Closing Airline Luggage Doors.
Animals, Computer Games, Computers, Imagery, SpidersBravery
…in the face of spiders.
Imagery, RisquéFingering A Minor
Fingering A Minor for hours on my bed.
SexistMars Vs. Venus
Mars versus Venus…
Blogs, Grammar, Imagery, SpellingMisspelt Blog Post
You wouldn't think anyone reads my blog. I haven’t got a comment in weeks. Misspell something…
Imagery, Ipad, IphoneFree IPhone To IPad Upgrade
Free iPhone to iPad Upgrade
Disclaimer, Copyright & Contact Information
Feel free to send me anything you think might amuse me.
America, Guns, RacistWhat Do You Call A Gun Enthusiast?
You may have heard on the news about a Southern California man who was put under 72-hour psychiatric observation when it was found he owned 100 guns and allegedly had 100,000 rounds of ammunition stored in his home…
Geeky, ImageryDrowning, LOL!
If you see someone drowning… LOL!
Boobs, Bsod, Computers, Fashion, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, Sexist, Shirts, Windows, WomenI Love My BSOD
Perhaps the only blue screen of death geeks would be happy to see.
English, GrammarYour There
They’re they are.
Mayans, Movies, Predictions, The Hobbit, TolkienMayans Predicting The Hobbit Movie
Keep calm. The Mayans were simply counting down to The Hobbit movie.
Animals, Camels, Children, Donkeys, ImageryYour Child Is Being Eaten By A Camel
Your child is being eaten by a camel. Do you… a) Save your child, or b) Take a photo?
Imagery, Phones, Sms, SmsLost Phone
A man sends SMS from a lost phone…
Geeky, InternetAmusing Chat
Humour from the world of Internet Chat
Advertising, Boats, Imagery, Oceans, Oxi-clean, ShipsThe Power Of Oxi-Clean
The Power of Oxi-Clean.
Animals, Fire, Imagery, SpidersThere Was A Spider, I Panicked
There was a spider, I panicked. But I think it’s gone now.
Famous People, Imagery, Movie StarsReese Witherspoon
Reese Withoutherspoon.
Babies, Imagery, RisquéI Will Deprive You Of Sex
I will deprive you of sex all night with my crying and then suck on your wife’s tits in the morning.
Cars, SexistHow To Change Your Oil
How to Change your Oil: A guide for men & women…
Comics, Guns, Hands, ImageryHands In The Air!
Hands in the air! Now wave them around like you just don’t care!
Cars, Imagery, Roads, SignsTired? Powernap Now.
Tired? Powernap now.
Imagery, Sexist, TalkingWomen Use About 30,000 Words A Day
Did you know that women use about 30,000 words a day while men use only 15,000?
Imagery, Paper, Plants, TreesIrony: Drawing Trees On Paper
Irony: Drawing trees on paper.
ImageryProof That Not Knowing Everything Is The Best Way To Go
Proof that not knowing everything is the best way to go.
Duct Tape, Imagery, WorkEmergency Bridge Repair Team
Duct Tape: Good for anything.
Animals, Imagery, Iphone, PhonesIt’s A Whale
How do you have any friends…
Bananas, Food, Imagery, PhonesBanana Phone
It’s a banana phone…
Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, SexistDream Girl
Girl on beach with six breasts.
Computer Games, ImageryVideo Games Don’t Make Us Violent – Lag Does!
Video games don’t make us violent – lag does!
Apple, Imagery, Ios, PatentsOlden Day Slide To Unlock
Slide to unlock: Apple patent #1964022.
RacistOnly In America...
Only in America…
Australia, New Zealand, RacistKiwi Pig Sheep
Voted Best Joke of the Year in Australia…
Dinosaurs, Imagery, Political, SpyingIf You’re Not Doing Anything Wrong, You Shouldn’t Have Anything To Hide
The government says “If you’re not doing anything wrong, you shouldn’t have anything to hide.” If that is true, shouldn’t the government declassify everything?
Imagery, Real EstateLaminated Room
List of reasons why a room would have to contain a bucket and be almost entirely laminated: 1) Bad reasons.
Imagery, Movies, Obi-wan Kenobi, Star Wars, Terrorism, World Trade CentreThese Blast Points… Too Accurate For Sand People
Obi-Wan Kenobi in front of burning World Trade Centre towers: “These blast points… too accurate for sand people”.
Bricks, Footpaths, Imagery, OcdOCD Bricks
The worst thing that can happen to an OCD person…
Boats, Books, Fishing, Reading, Sexist, WomenNever Argue With A Woman
Never Argue with a Woman…
Aboriginal, Australia, Gay, RacistAboriginal Jobs
At the end of a tiny, deserted bar is a huge Aboriginal bloke…
Animals, Cats, Imagery, Snow, SnowballsThe Cat & The Snowball
The Cat & the Snowball.
Charts, Computer Games, Imagery, Pacman, Pie ChartsPacman Pie Chart
The Pacman pie chart.
Animals, Boobs, Bras, Cats, ImageryBooby Trap
Nooo! It’s a booby trap!
Epilepsy, Imagery, PostersSeize The Day
Seize The Day: Sign up for the Epilepsy Awareness Walk.
Imagery, Israeli, Palestinian, Political, RacistIsraeli Settlers
Of course we want peace–this piece and this piece and this piece and this piece…
Bankruptcy, Divorce, Imagery, LiquorBankruptcy, Divorce, Liquor
Bankruptcy, Divorce, Liquor.
Biology, Imagery, MathBiology, Multiplication And Division
Biology – the only science where multiplication and division mean the same thing…
Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, Shoes, VintageWhere She Belongs
Keep her where she belongs…
Redheads, SexistRedheads
How do you get a redhead…
Imagery, Risqué, SexistThe Lift
A man and woman meet outside an elevator door…
Balloons, Cars, ImageryMissile Balloons
Missile Balloons.
Geeky, MusicWhat If The Beatles Had Been Computer Freaks?
What if the Beatles had been computer freaks?
Computers, ImageryTimes Change
…but other things don’t.
Alcohol, Books, Imagery, WineBook Club
My book club only reads wine labels.
Imagery, SmsBack From The Dead
Woo, it’s me! Back from the dead!
ImageryMicrophone Eyes
Microphone Eyes.
WorkRejection Response
The next time you get a rejection letter from a hoped-for employer or publisher, just send them the following…
Animals, Imagery, KangaroosI Said Be Quiet! Don’t Make Me Come In There!
I said be quiet! Don’t make me come in there!
ImageryEmoticons
Lots of emoticons…
Birds, Imagery, WifiHe’s Got Wifi
Three birds sitting on a wire, a fourth sitting in mid air. He's got wifi.
Hippies, Imagery, ShirtsPassive Agressive Hippie
Passive Agressive Hippie: You want a [peace sign] of me?
GeekyHow Many Does It Take...
How many forum posters does it take to change a light bulb?
Animals, Cats, ImageryAbercrombie & Cat
Abercrombie & Cat
Al Qaeda, Bin Laden, Imagery, Political, TerrorismI Usually Get 9/11
I don’t always get rated on my terrorism attacks, but when I do, I usually get 9/11.
Animated, ImagerySpiderman
If Spiderman was a gay night-clubber…
Accidents, Cars, Imagery, Seatbelts, SexistNew Seatbelt Design: 45% Less Car Accidents!
A man driving a car while a woman sits beside him, with her seatbelt across her mouth, preventing her from commenting.
Babies, Imagery, Kanye West, Kim Kardashian, Phones, Sms, Taylor Swift, TwitterYo I’m Happy For You And Imma Let You Finish But…
[Twitter] Taylor Swift: @KimKardashian @kanyewest Yo I’m happy for you and imma let you finish but Beyonce had one of the best labours of all time.
Adelaide, Australia, Chairs, Disaster, Earthquake, ImageryThe 2011 Adelaide Earthquake
The 2011 Adelaide Earthquake: We will rebuild.
Animals, Harry Potter, Horses, ImageryWingardium Levi-horse-a
Wingardium levi-horse-a!
Geeky, ItDeclaration Of A Software Professional
Declaration of a Software Professional.
All Your Base, Geeky, Imagery, InternetAll Your Base...
All your base are belong to us.
Animals, Cats, Imagery, SmsCat Facts
Thanks for signing up for Cat Facts!
Boobs, Imagery, RisquéWater Enhanced Breasts
Water Enhanced Breasts…
Animals, Imagery, JokeThe World’s Funniest Joke
The World’s Funniest Joke…
Bananas, Chris Brown, Food, Imagery, RihannaChris Brown & Rihanna Bananas
I can’t believe she didn’t press charges. It got worse when he posted the unpeeled photos of her.
Dads, Imagery, Jokes, Phones, SmsSometimes I Sit On The Floor And Put My Arms Around My Knees And Lean Forward
Dad: Sometimes I sit on the floor and put my arms around my knees and lean forward. Daughter: Huh? Dad: Cuz that’s how I roll!
Animals, Imagery, ZebrasZebra Crossing
Zebra Crossing…
Coffee, Religious, SexistMorning Coffee
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning…
Illusion, ImageryHinton’s “Lilac Chaser”
The Dotty Illusion…
Babies, Imagery, PregnancyPregnancy Tips
Some useful pregnancy tips…
Asian, Imagery, Iphone, Racist, RiceIf Your Phone Gets Wet, Try Placing It In A Bag Of Rice
If your phone gets wet, try placing it in a bag of rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you.
Alcohol, Holidays, Imagery, WineHoliday Workout
Holiday Workout: Three corkscrews.
ImageryAll Images
All Images
Australia, Brisbane, Computer Games, Explosions, Guns, Imagery, PoliceBrisbane, GTA Style
Queen Street Mall, Brisbane, GTA Style.
Drawings, Imagery, SignsDraw Bridge
A man drawing a bridge at a “draw bridge” sign.
Alcohol, Beer, Fitness, ImageryI Wonder What I Would Look Like With A Six Pack?
I wonder what I would look like with a six pack? Ahh, much better!
Animated, Coffee, ImageryAnimated Coffee
Coffee with emotion.
Imagery, MenI'd Rather Break My Arms Than Take Two Trips
I'd rather break my arms than take two trips.
Blacks, Imagery, RacistBlacks For Sale
They can still do that?
Imagery, Risqué, SexistGrow Some Balls
Why do people say ‘grow some balls’?
Alligators, Animals, Crocodiles, Imagery, TurtlesTurtle Cavalry
Onward, alligator steed!
Fruit, Grapes, ImageryBeware The Grapes Of Wrath
Beware the Grapes of Wrath.
Animals, Cats, Imagery, RacoonsCat Found
Cat Found. Very aggressive.
Imagery, Signs, SpringSpring Is Here. I’m So Excited I Wet My Plants!
Spring is here. I’m so excited I wet my plants!
Talking Clock
Why, that’s my Talking Clock…
Religious, Risqué, WorkCorporate Lessons
Corporate lessons.
Children, Imagery, PaintChildren Painting
Two children, half a room and a TV covered in white paint.
Bread, Food, Imagery, TonguesPlease Use Tongue.
Do not touch bread with hands. Please use tongue.
Imagery, RisquéAdult Dog Store
A dog carries an inflatable leg from an Adult Dog Store.
English, Etymology, Imagery, Languages, SpanishEntero Somewhere Elso
English: Do Not Enter Here; Spanish: Entero Somewhere Elso.
Animals, Golf, Imagery, Sport, TurtlesWorld’s Largest Golf Ball
World’s largest golf ball. Gigantic turtle for scale.
Image, Qut, UniversityQUT: University For The Real World
Will we find intelligent life?
Arguments, English, Grammar, ImageryArgument Typo
Heh I was almost forced to face the fact that my argument was bad but I see here that you made a typo hahaha tough luck pal.
Risqué, SexistThe Perfect Password
A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, the computer advised him that he would now need to enter a password…
Political, SchoolMath Instruction
At Heathrow Airport today…
Cars, ImageryGarage Door Covers
Amusing garage door covers
Imagery, PoliceA Cop Just Pulled Me Over And Said “Papers”
A cop just pulled me over and said “Papers”… so I said “Scissors, I win” and drove off…
The World’s Shortest Books
The World’s Shortest Books
BabiesA Baby’s Laughter Is One Of The Most Beautiful Sounds You’ll Ever Hear
A baby’s laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you’ll ever hear. Unless it’s 3 AM, you’re home alone, and you don’t have a baby.
Animals, Animated, Imagery, PenguinsPenguin Falls
Penguin falling on ice.
Stress, WorkStress Management
A stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological texts.
Animals, Antelopes, ImageryDid You Know There Is A Species Of Antelope Capable Of Jumping Higher Than The Average House?
Did you know there is a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house? This is due to its powerful hind legs and the fact that the average house cannot jump.
Guitars, Imagery, MusicFree Air Guitars
Christmas Gift Ideas: Free Air Guitars.
Out Of Breath
Dispatcher: Emergency Services, how may I help you?
Dishes, ImageryDishes
Dishes: They don’t do themselves.
Geeky, JokesIP Jokes
I’d tell you a UDP joke, but you may not get it.
Doorbells, Imagery, Logan, RacistLogan Doorbell
To ring door bell, connect wires.
Children, Families, Imagery, Parenting, SchoolWhen I Grow Up… I Want To Be Like Mommy!
I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer…
SexistAustralia And Mateship
Mateship amongst Men & Women: The differences…
Africa, Imagery, RacistEvery 60 Seconds In Africa
Every 60 seconds in Africa… a minute passes.
Aeroplanes, Buses, Cars, Electricity, Firefighters, Imagery, VaccinesRe-Think Vaccines
Next time someone tells you to re-think vaccines, show them this.
Geeky, InternetGoogle
Try Google. Available in six of the world’s most common languages…
Cars, Imagery, MessagesThe 710 Cap
Hun I have a problem in my car…
Drugs, Imagery, Meth, R2-d2, Robots, Star WarsMeth: Before & After
Meth: Before & After (or R2-D2 versus R2-FU).
Driving, Sexist, WomenDamn Women Drivers
This morning on the freeway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Cadillac doing 110…
Computer Games, Imagery, SexistThe Way Girls Play Computer Games
The way girls play computer games.
Animals, Dogs, ImagerySo We Got Pugsy A New Chew Toy…
So we got Pugsy a new chew toy…
AudioTelstra Customer Service
An insight into the Telstra Customer Service Experience.
Animals, Australia, Emus, WarEmu War
Result: Emu Victory.
Animals, Beds, Dinosaurs, ImageryT-Rex Making A Bed
When you’re upset just imagine a T-Rex making a bed.
ImagerySuperman’s Social Network Nightmare
Superman’s Social Network Nightmare.
Cyclones, Imagery, SupermarketsCyclone Magic Trick
Wanna see a magic trick?
Political, ReligiousThe 10 Commandments
The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse or parliament…
Australia, Games, Imagery, MonopolyAustralian Monopoly
Australian Monopoly: St Marys to Penrith Special Edition.
Advertising, Imagery, Skype, VintageSkype
Vintage Skype advert.
Animals, Cats, ImageryHello Kitty
It’s sickeningly cute. Perhaps literally if its expression is anything to go by…
Animals, Ducklings, Ducks, ImageryBeware Of Cute Duckling Scam
Beware of Cute Duckling Scam…
France, Germany, Imagery, RacistAngela Merkel Arrives At Passport Control At Paris Airport…
Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control at Paris airport. “Nationality?” asks the immigration officer. “German,” she replies. “Occupation?” “No, just here for a few days.”
RacistAmerican History 101
American History 101
Imagery, RisquéFlower Porn
Even flowers do it…
Imagery, SexistHair Dryer
Darling, please give me the hair dryer…
Campbell Newman, Imagery, Political, QueenslandCampbell Newman: Public Service: You Can Trust Me
[Campbell Newman laughing] …and then I said to the public service… you can trust me…
Imagery, RisquéDangers Of Masturbation
The Dangers of Masturbation.
Canada, Imagery, NoticesCanadian Security
Canadian Security: It may seem rude but for security reasons please do not open the door to strangers.
ShoppingGrocery Shopping On An Empty Stomach
Accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I’m the proud owner of aisle 4.
Animals, Cats, Imagery, LionsA Cat With A Lion’s Mane Hat
A cat with a lion’s mane hat.
Animals, Animated, Australia, Emus, Imagery, KangaroosKangaroo Kicks Boy
A kangaroo kicks an unsuspecting boy into a dam while an emu strolls past.
America, RacistA Russian Arrives In New York
A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United States…
Racist, RedneckA Redneck Love Poem
Susie Lee done fell in love…
Animals, Imagery, WhalesPaper, Scissors, Whale!
Scissors cut paper again! I hate this game…
Cars, ImageryPolished My Car Too Much
Polished my car too much, now it’s invisible…
Imagery, SexistCall The Rescue Squad!
I’m sorry dear. I can’t hear you. I’m in the kitchen, making you a sandwich.
English, GrammarIf Your A Grammar Nazi
If your a grammar nazi and your reading this your gonna have a bad time.
Cars, Imagery, RacingTimes Were Tough Before The GoPro
Times were tough before the GoPro…
Imagery, Jokes, Paper, Puns, SignsTearable Puns
These are tearable puns.
Alarms, Animals, Clocks, Imagery, SpidersAlarm Clock That Releases Spiders
Million dollar idea… alarm clock that releases spiders! Now you’re up!
Animals, ImageryHow Dishwashers Really Work
How dishwashers really work…
Animals, Cats, ImageryJust Wait Until I’m Fully Charged
Just wait until I’m fully charged…
Imagery, KnittingWinter Knitting
What are you going to knit this winter?
Easter, Eggs, ImageryDye Job
Check out the dye job on her? Tramp!
Doctors, HospitalsFinding Information In Hospital
A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph’s Hospital…
ImageryWhat Is A Sonofabitch?
What is a sonofab*tch, exactly?
Risqué, WorkThe Boss’s Quandary
The Boss’s Quandary…
Imagery, PoliticalWill Be President For Food
Boy sitting next to sign “No Campaigning beyond This Point” holding sign “Will Be President for Food”.
Bananas, Food, Imagery, SuicideSuicidal Bananas
A collection of suicidal bananas.
ImageryCharlie Sheen For Halloween
No, you can’t be Charlie Sheen for Halloween.
Animals, Imagery, SpidersLet’s All Take A Moment And Be Thankful That Spiders Don’t Fly.
Let’s all take a moment and be thankful that spiders don’t fly!
Comics, ImageryHorton Hears The Who
Horton Hears the Who
Blackjack, Cards, Games, ImageryBlack Jack Black
Black Jack Black eating Cracker Jack playing a black jack while playing BlackJack with Jack Black who is threatening Black Jack Black with a Black Jack.
Bottles, Imagery, Messages, UsbModern Day Message In A Bottle
A USB stick in a bottle lying on the beach.
Flash, ImagerySteady Hand – A Game Of Skill
A game of skill, requiring a steady hand and keen eye – make sure you play at least the first two levels…
GeekyQ209354 - HOWTO
How to RTFM…
ImagerySuper Batman
The Super Batman back pack, exclusive from China!
Crime, Police, ShootingThe Floor Is Still Wet
I have an interesting case here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped…
Animals, Birds, Crows, Imagery, TrucksCrows Killed By Trucks
Why are so many crows killed by trucks?
Illusion, ImageryConfused Carpentry
A Carpenter’s Nightmare.
Food, ImageryWurst Nightmare
Hi. I’m your wurst nightmare.
Bananas, Cars, Food, ImageryGet In The Banana
No time to explain. Get in the banana!
Buffering, Buffy, Imagery, TvBuffy Buffering
Buffy buffering…
Australia, Imagery, Nrl, Nsw, Qld, Rugby, SportNSW Playing Economically: 2 Punches Per Gallen.
NSW playing economically. 2 punches per Gallen.
Army, WarAmerican Nun
A deserter GI was running down a road escaping from two MPs…
Birth Control, Imagery, RisquéEffective Birth Control
The most effective birth control method known to man.
Imagery, Phones, Risqué, SexPhone Sex
Phone Sex. You’re doing it wrong.
Geeky, ImageryReach Out
Reach Out!
Animals, Joke, PigsThree Little Piggies
Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night…
Advertising, Boobs, Imagery, Sexist, VintageSabrina Projects
Sabrina demonstrates the world’s finest projection equipment…
Cold, Flu, Illness, Imagery, Man Flu, SexistMan Flu
The difference between men & women when they are sick.
Clowns, Imagery, Risqué, Sex, WomenShe Made That Clown Extremely Happy
She made that clown extremely happy.
Guns, Imagery, ToastToast Toasts Toast?
If guns don’t kill people, people kill people, does that mean…
Risqué, SexKeep Your Mouth Shut
If you don’t believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut!
ReligiousCommon Belief
The belief that there was nothing…
Babies, Children, Daycare, Imagery, Logan, RacistLogan Daycare
Logan Daycare: Just for the whole day
Knock Knock, PolicePolice: Knock Knock
Police: Knock Knock. Me: Who is it? Police: It’s the police.
Earth, ImageryHeld Hands Around The Equator
If the human population held hands around the equator, a significant portion of them would drown.
Dinosaurs, Imagery, MuseumsTrannysaurus
Trannysaurus: You’re fired.
Animals, Imagery, RisquéOld Style Birth Control
Old Style Birth Control.
Children, Dating, Imagery, Internet, RisquéLittle Kid Lover
I’m signing up for an online dating service. I just need to pick a username. “Little Kid Lover”, that way people will know where my priorities are at.
Animals, JokePygmy Dinosaur Hunter
The Pygmy Dinosaur Hunter…
Imagery, PhonesJester App
Sorry–you've been replaced by an app…
Advertising, Clothing, Fashion, Imagery, SexistWhy Men Die Before Women
Why men die before women.
Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, PhonesIPhone 6 Comparison
iPhone 6 Plus Comparison.
Blonde, SexistBlonde Betting
A very attractive blonde woman arrived at a Vegas casino…
History, ImageryThe Most Difficult Thing To Explain To Someone From The 1950s
If someone from the 1950s suddenly appeared today, what would be the most difficult thing to explain to them about life today?
Fonts, Imagery, TypographyBe Bold
Be bold or italic. Never regular.
RisquéTest Your Subconscious
This revolutionary test will expose the secret desires from your subconscious…
ToysThe Horror Of Blimps
Some blimps are better off dead…
Imagery, WifiBasic Human Needs
Basic human needs… like Wi-Fi.
Geeky, ImageryVoice
Scrooge and Donald on IRC.
Comedians, Comedy, Grammar, Hitler, Imagery, JapanOne Thing Led To Another
I hate when you’re reading something and you come across the phrase “one thing led to another”
Imagery, Monday, Punch, WorkThe Monday Punch
The Monday Punch: A man punched in the face.
Air Force, Fighter Jets, Imagery, Jets, NavyWrong Button
Fighter jet hits the wrong button.
Advertising, Guns, Imagery, Revolvers, VintageIsn’t It Time You Gave Yourself A Christmas Gift?
Isn’t it time you gave yourself a Christmas Gift?
Imagery, Marriage, Men, WomenMarriage Secrets Of Highly Successful Couples
Marriage secrets of highly successful couples.
WorkPhysical Fitness
This department requires no physical fitness program.
Computers, Geeky, It, Technology101 Things You Do Not Want...
101 Things You Do Not Want Your System Administrator to say.
Animals, Dogs, ImageryA Little Hand
I wish you could give me a little hand…
Boats, Imagery, IslandsBoat! Land!
Boat! Land!
Apple, Apples, Computers, Food, Imagery, Laptops, TechnologyMake Your Own Apple Laptop
Make your own Apple laptop the cheap—and healthy—way!
Bras, Imagery, New Zealand, Racist, Risqué, SportThe All Blacks Bra
Introducing the New Zealand All Blacks Bra. All the support, but no cup.
Balloons, Birthdays, ImageryBalloons Are So Weird…
Balloons are so weird… “Happy Birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath”
Imagery, RisquéJelly Orgy
A jelly orgy.
Advertising, Babies, Beer, Imagery, Mothers, VintageHow Mother And Baby “Picked Up”
Blatz Beer: How Mother and Baby “Picked Up”.
Computers, GeekyOperating System Airlines
Operating System Airlines.
Illusion, ImageryCrazy Sphere
A crazy sphere
Imagery, WorkHorse Whisperer
A very amusing workplace complaint.
Australia, Chillis, Food, Racist, TexasAn Australian Chilli Tester In Texas…
An Australian chilli tester in Texas…
Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Internet Explorer, Mac, WindowsCan Your Mac Do This?
Can your Mac do this? I don’t think so…
Earth, Imagery, Risqué, Solar SystemDon’t Masturbate
Don’t Masturbate!
Imagery**** I Forgot To Turn Off The Oven
**** I forgot to turn off the oven.
Medical, RisquéKeep Off The Grass
A Nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothes, entered…
Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Imagery, Internet Explorer, Opera, SafariBrowsers: Their Differences
The differences between the major web browsers.
RisquéMonica
Monica walks into her dry cleaning store…
Imagery, Logan, Racist, RisquéIn Logan
Meanwhile… in Logan…
Cars, Geeky, TechnologyCars And Computers
General Motors doesn’t have a help line for people who don’t know how to drive because people don’t buy cars like they buy computers, but imagine if they did…
PoliticalMerry Christmas & A Happy New Year
Merry Christmas & A Happy New Year.
Animals, Bread, Dogs, Food, ImageryI’m Inbred!
I’m Inbred!
Flying, Imagery, SportFlying – Because Golf Only Takes One Ball
Flying – because softball, baseball, football, basketball, soccer, bowling and golf only take one ball.
Bananas, Food, Imagery, SausagesBanana Sausage
Banana sausage…
Advertising, Babies, ImageryGood Things Are Twice As Good In Cellophane
Good things are twice as good in Cellophane!
Imagery, School24 Chickens
24 Chickens: The shoe rack at the front door…
Advertising, Feminine Hygiene, Imagery, Risqué, Sexist, Tampons, VintageThe Girls Are Talking About Tampons
The Blonde: It’s invisible sanitary protection, thank heavens…
Accidents, Helmets, Imagery, Jamaica, Motorbikes, Risqué, SexistWhat’s The Main Reason For Motorbike Accidents In Jamaica?
What’s the main reason for motorbike accidents in Jamaica?
Animals, Animated, Giraffes, ImageryHidden Giraffe
If you stare at this picture long enough you should be able to see a giraffe…
Babies, ImageryNow Airtight
Now airtight… to prevent aging!
Homework, Imagery, SchoolSelf Referencing Homework
What has been your greatest accomplishment so far?
Animals, Apples, Cats, Imagery, MathSeven Cats
If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?
ImageryBest Way To Freak Out Your Friends
Best way to freak out your friends: Do not open unless you plan to kill it (written on an upside down container)
Anatidaephobia, Animals, Ducks, ImageryAnatidaephobia
Anatidaephobia is the fear that somewhere in the world, there is a duck watching you.
Animals, Bananas, Dogs, Food, ImageryBanana Dogs
Banana Dogs.
Geeky, Imagery, Movies, The MatrixThe Matrix
What is The Matrix?
Computers, Geeky, ItStar Trek TNG Meets Microsoft
Star Trek TNG Meets Microsoft…
Buildings, Jokes, Physicists, PunsA Physicist Sees A Young Man About To Jump Off The Empire State Building
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building…
Cartoons, Fire, Imagery, StairsIn Case Of Fire, Take Stairs
In case of fire, take stairs.
Imagery, Winnie The PoohPooh Everywhere
Watch your step, there’s pooh everywhere!
Beer, Imagery, RacistHow People From Around The World Open Beer
People from around the world opening beer in their own unique ways.
ImageryWhy Women Live Longer Than Men
Genetics - Why women live longer than men.
Animals, Animated, Hamsters, ImageryHamster Flying
How to make your hamster fly…
Australia, New Zealand, RacistAn Aussie Taxidermist In New Zealand…
An Aussie Taxidermist in New Zealand…
Imagery, Jobs, WorkThings Don’t Really Change
Interviewer: What would you consider to be your greatest weakness?
Flowcharts, Imagery, SexistHow To Argue With A Woman
A flowchart.
Political, RacistLetter To America
Letter to America
Feminists, Imagery, Lightbulbs, Sexist, WomenHow Many Feminists Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Don’t be silly, feminists can’t change anything!
Darth Vader, Imagery, Kristen StewartMore Expressions Than Kristen Stewart
Still more expressions than Kristen Stewart.
Advertising, Cooking, Imagery, Sexist, VintageCook – That’s What Wives Are For!
The Chef does everything but cook – that’s what wives are for!
Animals, Imagery, SealsSeal This Opening
I was told to seal this opening, so here I am.
Bones, Imagery, SkeletonsThe Average Human Body Contains Enough Bones
The average human body contains enough bones to make an entire human skeleton.
Australia, Buses, Explosions, Imagery, InalaSorry For Party Rocking
Sorry for Party Rocking: Driver jumps from burning bus, party bus explodes in Inala.
Imagery, Step Ladders, ToolsStep Ladder
The Troubles of Being a Step Ladder…
Alligators, Animals, Crocodiles, ImageryHow To Tell Alligators And Crocodiles Apart
It’s not that difficult to tell alligators and crocodiles apart…
Computers, ImageryChecking On A Slow Progress Bar
Checking on a slow progress bar.
Imagery, ReligiousBelieve In Reincarnation
Yeah, well, I didn’t believe in reincarnation when I was your age, either.
Animals, Irish, RacistIrish Pets
Two Irish men walk into a pet shop…
Australia, Cars, Ghosts, Pub, Storm, SupernaturalA True Australian Ghost Story
This story happened a short while ago near Brisbane, and even though it sounds a little Alfred Hitchcock… it’s (supposedly) true.
ImageryFurniture Training
Furniture training for one of their main purposes in life…
Fifteen Things To Do At The Supermarket…
Fifteen things to do at the supermarket while your spouse is taking their sweet time…
Australia, Imagery, Julia Gillard, Kevin Rudd, PoliticalWhere Was I Before I Was So Rudely Interrupted?
[Kevin Rudd] Where was I before I was so rudely interrupted?
Imagery, Jail, Logan, RacistI’m From Logan
I killed a man. You? I’m from Logan.
ImageryMartha Stewart’s New Digs
Martha Stewart’s New Digs
Australia, Games, Imagery, ReligiousThanks God
God and the Rubiks Cube…
Capitalism, Imagery, PoliticalSuffering From Capitalism
Feeling sad and depressed? Are you anxious? Worried about the future? Feeling isolated and alone? You might be suffering from Capitalism.
ImageryButtons
Lots of buttons…
Animals, Imagery, Internet, RabbitsStop Surfing The Internet And Just Go To Bed
Holy crap! Look how late it is! Why do I always do this? Why is it so hard to stop surfing the internet and just go to bed?
Jewellery, Jokes, Puns, RingsSomeone Stole My Mood Ring
Someone stole my mood ring.
Computers, ImageryAlready Exists
skdjaskdhsajdahsdjashds.jpg already exists. Do you want to replace it? You've got to be kidding me.
Bsod, Clippit, Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, WindowsWindows
Windows. Still the most used operating system, and undoubtedly the most abused.
ImagerySense
…this picture makes none.
Angry Birds, Animals, Australia, Birds, Computer Games, ImageryAngry Birds Australia
Angry Birds Australia…
Blonde, Cars, SexistBlondeStar
What to do when you’re locked inside your car, and the keys are outside…
Bananas, Carving, Food, Guns, Imagery, WeaponsBanana Gun
Banana gun…
Farmers, Imagery, Men, Swimming, WomenThe Clever Old Man
One evening an old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond…
Animals, Cars, Cows, Drunk, ImageryDrunk Cows
Drunk Cows: Bruce you are drunk.
SexistGuts Or Balls?
We’ve all heard about men having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them?
ImagerySmile
Smile…
Afghanistan, RacistInvestment Opportunity
Investment Opportunity. Thought you might want to consider getting on board early.
Animals, Imagery, Spiders, ZombiesZombie Apocalypse Spider
I laugh at your claims to bravely take on a zombie apocalypse, when most of you can’t stand up to a spider.
Einstein, ImageryYou Matter
You are living, you occupy space, you have a mass… you matter.
Accidents, Buses, Imagery, Rivers, Wildlife DocumentariesA Wild Bus Drinking Water
And here we see a wild bus drinking water from a river.
Animals, Food, ImageryBoiled Lobster
“I hate the way they scream when you boil them!”
Facebook, InternetFacebook Farm
A dying granny tells her granddaughter, “I want to leave you my farm…
Imagery, MoviesThere Are Three Kinds Of People: Impatient, Patient, And Rich.
There are three kinds of people: Impatient, patient, and rich.
Animated, Flash, Geeky, ImageryL33t H4x0r R0m30 4nd Jul13t
Tales for the L33T - ROMEO+JULIET
Aboriginal, Australia, RacistAboriginal Spongebob Spotted In Cairns
Aboriginal Spongebob spotted in Cairns.
Animals, Imagery, RisquéHow To Eat Pussy…
How to eat pussy…
Imagery, Movie Posters, PiranhasPiranhas On An Escalator
If I were you, I’d take the stairs…
Animals, Imagery, SealsSeal The Deal
What do you say we go behind this rock and seal the deal?
Advertising, Gay, Imagery, Ovaltine, VintageTo Wake Up Gay In The Morning…
To wake up gay in the morning just try this at Bedtime Tonight!
Imagery, Risqué, Tape Measures, ToolsBreakdown Of A Man’s Tape Measure Usage
Breakdown of a man’s tape measure usage
Animals, Cats, ImageryI’m Glad You’re Up
I’ve put all of your folded shirts on the floor for you.
Animals, Conspiracies, Dogs, Imagery, SheepThat Conspiracy Stuff
I’m telling you – the man and the dog are definitely working together…
Bananas, Food, Imagery, ZucchinisGreen Banana
Green banana…
Imagery, SocksThe Divorce Rate Among My Socks Is Astonishing.
The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.
ImageryMcDonald’s Reaches Africa
McDonald’s reaches Africa.
GeekyUnusual EBay Feedback
A+++! Would read this amusing page again…
Education, Imagery, School, TeachersExplain These Bad Grades
1969: A child’s parents blame him for his bad grades. Today: A child’s parents blame his teacher for his bad grades.
ImageryWill Not Load Fully
This picture will not load fully!
Beer, Geeky, Imagery, WorkUltimate Camouflage
An office beer fridge…
Food, Geeky, ImageryLOL For Lunch
Ordering linguini for lunch always boosts morale.
Alcohol, Beer, Imagery, WineIn Wine There Is Truth
In Wine there is Truth. In Beer there is Strength. In Water there is Bacteria.
Aztecs, Imagery, Mayans, OreosMayan, Aztec And Oreos
Mayan, Aztec and Oreos…
Bikes, ImagerySquare Bike
Surprisingly good riding down stairs… not so good on the flat.
Imagery, TvThinking Outside The Square
A sideways television.
Imagery, Toilets, VandalismToilet Vandalism
We buy things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like…
England, Imagery, UkAnarchy In The UK
Would you like some tea?
New Zealand, RacistKiwi Air Disaster
New Zealand’s worst air disaster occurred earlier today…
Animated, Imagery, MedicalRoot Canal
Amusing animated image of root canal treatment
Alcohol, ImageryAlcohol Research
Bum holding sign “Need Cash for Alcohol Research”.
Bras, Imagery, UnderwearSupport Bras
Supportive support bras…
Imagery, Phones, SmsChosen One
I’m the chosen one…
JokesToday Is Sunday
Attention! Today is Sunday. Share this on your Facebook wall. Within seven days you’ll get another Sunday…
Risqué, SexistMating Bulls
A man took his wife to the Rodeo and one of the exhibits is that of breeding bulls…
Computer Games, Imagery, MarioIt’s A-me, Mario!
Mario emerging from a drainpipe.
Imagery, JokeHow Many Alzheimer’s Patients Does It Take?
To get to the other side!
Animals, Chocolate, Easter, Easter Bunnies, Imagery, RabbitsJust Some Bunny That I Used To Know
Now you’re just some bunny that I used to know.
ImageryKermit Sees The Doctor
Have a seat Kermit. What I’m about to tell you might come as a big shock…
Cars, Imagery, Time TravelAnnual Meeting Of Time Travellers
Annual Meeting of Time Travellers.
Animals, Eggs, Giraffes, ImageryGiraffe Egg
Giraffe Egg.
Horror MoviesIf You Are Lonely, Dim All Lights
If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you’re alone anymore.
Imagery, Newspapers, TechnologyAll This Technology Is Making Us Antisocial
All this technology is making us antisocial: A tram full of people ignoring each other and reading the newspaper.
Got To Love Drunk People
>A man, and his wife are awakened at 3 o’clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door…
Imagery, Unicorns, Unicycles, UnitardsUnicorn, Unitard, Unicycle
Unicorn in a unitard on a unicycle.
Food, Imagery, TurkeyRoast Turkey With A Doll Head
I was watching TV when I head my Dad in the kitchen laughing to himself. When I got up to see what he was doing, I walked in on this…
Australia, Condoms, New Zealand, Racist, RisquéKiwi Condoms
Australia runs out of condoms…
Cars, Imagery, Logan, My Family Stickers, Racist, StickersLogan My Family Stickers
Logan My Family Stickers.
Agony Aunt, Cheating, Dear Abby, Imagery, Motorbikes, Relationships, SexistDear Abby, I’ve Never Written To You Before…
Dear Abby, I’ve never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision…
Food, Imagery, Pasta, TrucksPasta Truck
A pasta truck, or a very large pasta.
Animals, Circuses, Dwarfs, Hippopotamuses, ImageryHippo Eats Dwarf
A hippopotamus has swallowed a dwarf in a circus accident…
100 Guidelines On Becoming An Evil Villain
World domination is everyone’s dream. It’s not a bad job really…
Computers, Sms, WindowsWindows Frozen
Wife texts husband on a cold winter’s morning, “Windows frozen.”
GeekySpellcheck Not Needed
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy…
Animals, Birds, Imagery, Missing Posters, Paper, Pigeons, PostersHave You Seen This Bird?
I met this bird by the tree near the library. We chilled for like, 5 minutes, & then without any warning he just flew away. We really hit it off. So if you see him, please let him know I miss him.
Imagery, SexistWoman With PMS
Woman with PMS.
Girls, Imagery, WorkForgot I Was Sharing My Screen With Her
I was on an online conference call with a cute sounding girl, and googled her name out of curiosity. Forgot I was sharing my screen with her.
Children, Parenting, Risqué“Hi Honey. This Is Daddy. Is Mummy Near The Phone?”
Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mummy near the phone?
Dear Thigh Fat
Help the needy?
Imagery, MathImaginary Friend
Aww, how cute. He has an imaginary friend!
Canada, Etiquette, ImageryHolding Doors
Holding Doors: A Question of Distance.
PhrasesWhen Someone Yells “STOP”…
When someone yells “STOP”, I never know if it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammertime, or I should collaborate and listen…
America, Imagery, Mexico, RacistBorderline Offensive
You can make jokes about anything, just not Mexicans…
Animated, Illusion, Imagery, Impossible Triangle, Penrose TrianglePenrose Triangle
Penrose Triangle Animation.
America, Imagery, RacistAmerican Measures
American Measures: An Arbitrary Retarded Rollercoaster
Animals, Imagery, Lightbulbs, Mice, Risqué, SexHow Many Mice Does It Take To Screw In A Lightbulb?
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Imagery, StoneNothing Is Written In Stone
Nothing is Written in Stone…
Animals, Broomsticks, Cars, Frogs, Imagery, Parking, Princesses, WitchesAll Others Will Be Toad
Private customer parking only. All others will be toad.
Bananas, Food, George Bush, ImageryThis Banana Tastes Funny
“This banana tastes funny” – George Bush.
Alcohol, Animals, Dogs, Imagery, Skateboards, Smoking, WineBad Dog Is Banned From The Park
I don’t know who this dog is or why he is banned from this park, but he certainly seems like a lot of fun.
Aeroplanes, Aircraft, Imagery, WarRequesting Air Support
Requesting Air Support! “Believe in yourself. You can do it!”
Africa, Animals, Imagery, MoviesThe Lion King: Proof At Last
Pumbaa & Timon…
Imagery, SnowDead Snowmen
Gruesomely dead snowmen.
Animals, ImageryNot Allowed
When a dog is all out of luck.
Imagery, WorkMeetings
The practical alternative to work.
Drink, Food, ImageryThings To Eat And Drink In Public
Things to eat and drink in public.
Parties, WatchesNot On My Watch
Lost my watch at a party once…
Cpr, First Aid, Imagery, SchoolCPR Diagram
You’re next!
America, Britain, Political, Queen Elizabeth Ii, Queens, Racist, RoyaltyA MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN
A message to the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.
Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, VintageHappier With A Hoover
Christmas morning she’ll be happier with a Hoover.
Imagery, Kitchens, Sexist, WomenFor Too Long The Voice Of Women Has Been Silenced
For too long the voice of women has been silenced. It’s time they had microphones in kitchens.
Imagery, Osama Bin Laden, Sport, Terrorists, Weight LiftingOsama Bin Liftin’
Osama Bin Liftin’
Comics, Education, ImageryUnused Diploma.
I’d like to return this. It’s unused. This is your diploma. Cash is fine.
Australia, Imagery, Nsw, PolicePoliceman’s Ball
A young woman was pulled over for speeding. A NSW Police Officer walked to her car window flipping open his ticket book. She said “I bet you are going to try and sell me a ticket to the Policeman’s Ball.” He said, “NSW Police don’t have balls.” There was a moment of silence. Then he closed his book, tipped his hat, and got back in his patrol car and left!
Food, ImageryLittle Green Balls Of Death
Little Green Balls of Death
Cars, Imagery, PetrolThe Bank Account Gas Ratio
The depressing ratio between your bank account, and your gas tank.
Animals, Dogs, Driving, Imagery, SexistDog Decides Better Driver
My wife believes she is a better driver. I let our dog decide.
America, RacistAmerican State Mottos
American State Mottos…
Animals, DogsTalking Dog For Sale
A man sees a sign outside a house – “Talking Dog for Sale.”
Calendars, Comics, Imagery, MayansThe Mayan Calendar
I only had enough room to go up to 2012…
Buses, ImageryGo Home Bus, You’re Drunk!
Go home bus, you’re drunk!
Animals, Dogs, ImageryI Forgot How To Dog
I forgot how to dog
Children, Parenting, SchoolLetter To A Mother / School Report
It is with great happiness that I’m telling you that I eloped with my new boyfriend…
Imagery, RisquéHebrew Cave Paintings
Written across the wall of the cave were the following symbols…
Animals, Imagery, Languages, Latin, PigsPig Latin
Pig Latin…
Apple, Computers, Decals, Imagery, Laptops, Mac, Macbook, Stickers, TechnologyCreative Apple MacBook Stickers
A collection of creative Apple MacBook stickers & decals.
ImageryLegoland Will Never Be The Same...
Legoland will never be the same…
Animals, Dogs, ImageryDog Queue
Sometimes, even dogs have to queue…
Cables, Cables, Geeky, Imagery, UsbCables Exist In 4-dimensional Space
Proof USB cables exist in 4-dimensional space.
AudioPsychiatric Answering Machine
A Psychiatric Office Answering Machine.
Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery, WorkMario: Happy
Quit your day job and do what makes you happy.
ImageryHow To Be Green
A boardgame: How to be Green…
RisquéSanta’s Stressful Christmas
Santa’s Stressful Christmas
Money, Quotations, SchwarzeneggerHaving More Money Doesn’t Make You Happier
Having more money doesn’t make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I’m just as happy as when I had 48 million.
Advertising, Cocaine, Drugs, Imagery, Toothache, VintageCocaine Toothache Drops
Cocaine Toothache Drops: Instantaneous Cure! 15¢.
Animals, Imagery, PigsBacon Seed
Bacon seed.
Imagery, SignsDon’t Grow Up
Don’t grow up. It’s a trap.
Animals, Giraffes, ImageryLet’s Get You Home Buddy
Two giraffe having problems getting home.
Imagery, Phones, SmsI Am Hungary
I am Hungary…
Apple, Computers, Imagery, Religious, Steve JobsHe’s Gonna Upgrade Your Tablets…
Moses, meet Steve. He’s gonna upgrade your tablets…
Animals, Australia, Crocodiles, Emus, Imagery, Kangaroos, Koalas, Kookaburras, Police, Sharks, Spiders, Woolworths26 Everyday Occurrences In Australia
When you live on a barely hospitable desert island that was once a continent-sized penal colony, your life tends to be a little more badass than the average person’s.
Imagery, RocksOrders From A Rock
[On a rock] Turn me over. You just took orders from a rock.
Geeky, InternetUsing AOL? Mind If We LOL?
Using AOL? Mind if we LOL?
Balloons, Hot Air Balloons, ImageryHot Air Balloons
Hot Air Balloons - Boring 99% of the time.
Animals, Dogs, ImageryFunny Dog
The longer you look, the funnier it gets!
Energy Drinks, Geeky, Imagery, Rubiks CubesMonster Energy Drinks & Rubiks Cubes
Monster energy drinks & Rubiks Cubes: Dude. You have a problem. Problem solved!
Imagery, RisquéDon’t Fall For This
The CIA is trying to steal my…
Animals, Flamingos, ImageryGarden Flamingo
Garden Flamingo…
Computers, Geeky, ItComputer Quotes
Computer quotes.
Geeky, Imagery, InternetSlashdot For Dummies
Slashdot for Dummies – A Reference for the Rest of Us!
English, Grammar, QuotationsAmusing Quotes & One-Liners
Amusing Quotes & One-Liners.
Imagery, RacistHow To Be Black
How to be Black: An Instructional Book.
Imagery, MoviesTitanic Ice Bucket Challenge
Titanic ALS Ice Bucket Challenge: “I accept your ice water challenge”.
Geeky, ImageryBlackboard
School kid writing Code on blackboard as punishment.
Guns, Imagery, Mp3, Mp4, Mp5Well, That Escalated Quickly
Well, that escalated quickly.
ImageryTechnically Correct
…but still wrong.
Imagery, RisquéAncient Japanese Proverb
Ancient Japanese Proverb. If you cannot understand Japanese, tilt your head to the right…
Animals, RisquéThe Lone Ranger
The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an Indian war party…
Animals, Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, OttersFilthy Hobitses
Filthy Hobitses
Imagery, Mobiles, Mouse Traps, Phones, TelstraCustomer Retention
Free Phone Telstra Style.
Imagery, ToiletsPeeing: Expert Mode
Peeing: Expert Mode
Animals, Dogs, Imagery, RisquéBitches & Hose
Having so much fun…
Animals, Cats, ImageryOn A Roll
Don’t try to stop me… ‘cause I am on a roll.
Food, Imagery, ThymeToo Much Thyme On My Hands
I’ve got way too much tyme on my hands.
Fortune Cookies, ImageryYou Are Not Illiterate.
You are not illiterate.
Aliens, ImageryFunniest Alien Fan Art I’ve Seen
Funniest Alien Fan Art I’ve Seen.
Bikinis, Burqa, Imagery, Muslim, Racist, SexistWhat A Cruel Male-dominated Culture
It’s a male dominated culture, no matter how you look at it…
Imagery, RedneckRedneck Ingenuity
Redneck Ingenuity: Shoes for tyres.
Coathangers, Imagery, WarningsDo Not Swallow Coathangers!
Caution: Do Not Swallow Coathangers!
Harry Potter, Imagery, SmsMaster Has Presented Dobby With Clothes! Dobby Is Free!
Well I’m grounded. WTF did you do this time? My Mum asked me to do the laundry and threw a sock at me… I ran away screaming “Master has presented Dobby with clothes! Dobby is free!”
America, Australia, Birds, Horror Movies, Imagery, MagpiesAustralian Horror Story
American Horror Story versus Australian Horror Story
Apple, Imagery, Iphone, PhonesUpgrade Kit For IPhone 4 Owners
Upgrade kit for iPhone 4 owners. Only 99¢.
America, English, Imagery, RacistEnglish (Traditional) And English (Simplified)
English (Traditional) and English (Simplified).
Imagery, SpicesSeasons Greetings
Seasons Greetings
Batman, Imagery, WikileaksWikileaks
Bruce Wayne!
Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryDear Dog
Dear Dog… a letter from the cat.
Risqué, Sexist, WorkSentence Structure: Why Sentence Structure Is Important
Sentence Structure: Why sentence structure is important.
Geeky, ImageryDelete Cookies
Delete cookies?!
Animals, Elephants, ImageryIt’s Just One Of Those Days
A baby elephant falls in the mud.
Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, MsnMSN Shuts Down
We reminisce about “the good old days” of MSN…
Blonde, Fruit, Ginger, Hair, Imagery, Strawberries, WomenGinger Versus Strawberry Blonde
This is a strawberry. This is ginger…
Cars, ImageryThe Park Anywhere Button
Self-explanatory really.
ImagerySpring Is Just Around The Corner
Finally… Spring is just around the corner.
Animals, Dogs, ImageryHow The Hell Is The Ball Still In Your Hand?
How the hell is the ball still in your hand?
America, Congress, Imagery, It Crowd, PoliticalCongress: Have You Tried Turning It Off And On Again?
Congress: have you tried turning it off and on again?
Guns, ImageryCrayon Gun
A fantastic gun made from many every-day items.
Cooking, Frypans, ImageryNon-stick Frypan
A stuck non-stick frypan…
Australia, France, Imagery, Racist, RisquéAustralian Kiss
Australian Kiss: same as a French Kiss… but down under.
Facebook, Imagery, RisquéFacebook Sex
Taking status updates too far.
Animals, Drugs, ImageryFlying Ants
How ants began to fly…
Animals, Australia, Imagery, KoalasEucalyptus Leaves Cause Hallucinations
The **** do you mean eucalyptus leaves cause hallucinations? I gotta tell my unicorn about this.
Bananas, Fruit, ImageryAppealing Attire
I find this attire… appeeling.
Beer, Calendars, Imagery, Mayans, Predictions2 Mayan Guys
[2 Mayan Guys] Wanna beer? I’m working on this calendar, but I guess if I don’t finish it won’t be the end of the world.
Imagery, LegoWhat Lego Does When We Aren’t Looking
What legos do when we aren’t looking
America, Animated, Imagery, Obama, PoliticalThanks, Obama
Thanks, Obama.
Imagery, SexistAlways Love A Woman For Her Personality
Always love a woman for her personality. They have like 10, so you can choose.
ImageryBatman Downsized
Batman forced to downsize with increase in petrol prices…
Animals, Dogs, ImageryFridge Magnets
Well, tell me, Randy. Has someone eaten all the refrigerator magnets again?
Breakfast, ImageryHow Did You Get In My House?
If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple “Thank you” is all I need. Not all this “How did you get in my house?” business.
English, GrammarThat’s What She Said
That’s what she said.
Cars, Imagery, Movies, Pulp Fiction, The RockHave You Seen Pulp Fiction?
Have you seen Pulp Fiction? Yeah, but I didn’t like it.
Imagery, WifiWireless Networks
Wireless networks could save your life!
Guns, ImageryThe Last Known Picture Taken Of Grandpa
A woman inadvertently points a gun towards a man.
Food, Imagery, Microwaves, ScienceNo Science In This Microwave
Food only. Absolutely no science in this microwave.
Animals, Gorillas, Imagery, King Kong, Mobiles, Phones, VodafoneNo Signal
The “Vodafone Effect”.
Books, ImageryMystery Books
You have to find them first…
Credit Cards, Genies, Imagery, Sexist, WomenIrresistible To Women
Make me irresistible to women
WorkMergers
Amusing mergers.
Animals, ImageryJust Checking
“Just doing a spot-check to see what you’re doing… Yup, sitting at your computer again!” The expression on this ostrich’s face is excellent.
Imagery, Mexico, RacistMexico’s National Sport
What is Mexico’s national sport? Cross country.
Imagery, Math, PiWife Of Pi
He’s irrational and he goes on and on…
Australia, Cooking, God, Imagery, KitchensIn God’s Kitchen
In God’s Kitchen: What are you cooking?
Animals, Cats, Ducks, Imagery, SeagullsCat Duck
The Amazing Cat Duck! Or perhaps Cat Seagull?
Advertising, Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Phones, TechnologyIPhone 10 – The Tallest IPhone Yet
A mock-up of the iPhone 10, after the launch of the “taller” iPhone5.
Imagery, Money, Monopoly, StrippersMonopoly Money For Fake Boobs
I think it’s only fair to throw monopoly money at strippers with fake boobs.
ImageryTimes Have Changed
An image from an operating manual for the SAGE air defense system
Imagery, Mafia, RecruitersRecruiters Are One Step Above The Mafia
Recruiters are one step above the Mafia…
ImageryApostrophe, Catastrophe
Apostrophe, Catastrophe.
Animated, Babies, Fireworks, ImageryFirst Time Seeing Fireworks
A baby sees fireworks for the first time.
Acid, Animals, Cats, Cocaine, Coffee, Drugs, Heroin, Imagery, Marijuana, Mushrooms, Shrooms, WeedDrug Cats
An illustrated cat-guide to drugs…
Imagery, MoviesNeville
Neville would have done it in four books.
Mayans, PredictionsMayans Predicting The Future
Calm down… If the Mayans were good at predicting the future, there would still be Mayans.
Animals, Cats, ImageryPlease Don’t Let The Cat Out. No Matter What It Tells You!
Please don’t let the cat out. No matter what it tells you!
MedicalSeek And Find You…
I shall seek and find you…
Advertising, Cigarettes, Imagery, Risqué, Sexist, VintageBlow In Her Face
Blow in her face and she'll follow you anywhere.
Animals, Australia, Cats, Horse Racing, Horses, Imagery, Jockeys, Melbourne Cup, SportMelbourne Cup Cat Horse
Melbourne Cup Cat Horse.
Illusion, ImageryIllogical Lego
Illogical Lego.
America, Guns, ImageryHow To Sneak Chocolate Into An American Movie Theatre.
How to sneak chocolate into an American movie theatre.
Imagery, Iphone, Phones, Romance, SmsThe Modern Day Romantic
Goodnight my beautiful girl I’m so lucky to have you in my life. I love you so much <3
Australia, Chairs, Disaster, Earthquake, Imagery, MelbourneThe 2012 Melbourne Earthquake
The 2012 Melbourne Earthquake: We will rebuild.
Australia, Condoms, New Zealand, Racist, RisquéAustralian Condoms
New Zealand runs out of condoms…
Imagery, Paper, SignsIs It Me You’re Looking For?
Hello? Is it me you’re looking for?
Notice
Notice is hereby given…
Internet, RisquéCybersex How-Not-To
Cybersex how it should not be…
Roadwork, Shovels, WorkersWe Forgot Our Shovels
A road crew foreman calls into the shop. Foreman: “We have a problem.”
Animals, ImageryWireless Technology
“It is a bit freaky with this wireless technology”
Animals, ImageryCat Legs
There really isn’t much else to say about this.
English, Grammar, ImageryComforting A Grammar Nazi
When comforting a grammar nazi, I always say softly, “there, their, they’re”
Funerals, Imagery, Italian, RacistThe Italian Funeral
Pasquale died. His will provided ,000 for an elaborate funeral…
A Middle-aged Woman Decides To Have A Facelift…
A middle-aged woman decides to have a facelift…
Imagery, Mistakes, PostersMake Some More Mistakes
I’ve learned so much from my mistakes… I’m thinking of making a few more.
Animals, Imagery, Johnny Depp, Movie Stars, SpidersI’m Really Afraid Of Johnny Depp
Research shows that if you’re afraid of spiders, you’re more likely to find one in your bedroom. I’m really afraid of Johnny Depp.
America, Canada, RacistU.S. Ship Versus Canadian
U.S. Ship versus Canadian.
Babies, Court, Imagery, Jail, Judges3 Years In Jail For Stealing My Nose
3 years in jail for stealing my nose!
Diving, Imagery, Sharks, Sign LanguageA Signal They Forgot To Teach You In Your Open Water Class.
Big shark behind you: A signal they forgot to teach you in your open water class.
Imagery, RisquéThe Exact Spot My Zipper Broke
The exact spot my zipper broke.
Imagery, RisquéPull Out & Save
Save up to $600!
Children, ParentingWhy Parents Drink
Why parents drink.
America, Democracy, PoliticalHow To Know When You’ve Met A Democrat
Just in case you have trouble knowing when you’ve met a Democrat…
Geeky, Imagery, MeditationGeek Meditation Session
In your mind’s browser, clear your cache… now delete your history… now navigate to a blank web page…
Imagery, ToiletsWalked Into A Public Bathroom
Walked into a public bathroom. Saw this and heard “hello?”
Illusion, ImageryTwelve Or Thirteen?
Wait until the group changes position. Is it twelve or thirteen?
Imagery, Topgear, TvIs There Anything Worse Than A Lego For Stepping On In The Middle Of The Night?
Is there anything worse than a Lego for stepping on in the middle of the night? A landmine.
Cars, ImageryHome Mechanics
Home Mechanics and their cars.
Imagery, Math, SchoolI’ll Just Be A Stripper.
Screw this: I’ll just be a stripper.
Animals, Birds, Imagery, SeagullsSomebody Come Look At This
Somebody Come Look at This
America, Imagery, Political, SpyingMy Computer Hard Drive Crashed. NSA Won’t Send Me Their Backup Copy.
My computer hard drive crashed. NSA won’t send me their backup copy.
Animals, Cats, ImageryCat Bag
It’s a cat bag. Not too sure what else to say about this…
Children, Imagery, Sexist, ToysTo Avoid Perpetuating Gender Stereotypes
To avoid perpetuating gender stereotypes, I gave my daughter a mix of dolls and toy cars to play with. This is what happened…
Cake, Ikea, ImageryHappy 25th Birthday IKEA!
Happy 25th Birthday IKEA! Here’s your cake
ImageryLow Battery Warning
Plug in or find another power source. Or panic now!
InvisibleYou Can See Me?
Next time a stranger talks to me when I’m alone I will look at them shocked and just whisper quietly, “you can see me?”
Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, SexistAre Those Yours?
…they’re turning out so big and cute!
America, Calendars, Imagery, Mayans, Obama, Political, PredictionsThe Mystery Of The Mayan Calendar Revealed
At last, the mystery of the Mayan calendar revealed.
Emergency, Imagery, Out Of OrderEmergency: Out Of Order
Please do not have an emergency!
Facebook, Geeky, Imagery, InternetGoogle+ Versus Facebook
Google Plus versus Facebook
Imagery, Political, Snowden, Spying, WikileaksEdward Snowden Buys A Plane Ticket From Moscow To Havana…
Snowden buys a plane ticket from Moscow to Havana. Over 30 journalists pay last-minute airfare for a ticket on the same flight. The doors shut, the plane takes off, and [Edward] Snowden is not on the plane. It’s a 16-hour flight.
Animals, Chocolate, Dogs, Heaven, ImageryA Dog Dies: Can I Have Chocolate?
A dog dies and finds out chocolate killed him.
America, Guns, Imagery, Police, RacistAnd I Was All Like, Pew Pew Pew!
And I was all like, pew pew pew! Pew pew pew! ‘Merica!
Animals, Imagery, Seals, SharksDo Not Consume If Seal Is Broken!
Do not consume if seal is broken!
Animated, ImageryWait!
Wait…
Bill Gates, Imagery, Mario, North Korea, Star Wars, WinrarThe Good Guys Of The World
These are the Good Guys of the World.
PoliticalBush And The Queen
While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen…
Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, Sexist, WorkJob Application
Sexist job application.
Africa, Apple, Imagery, Ipad, StarvingThinner Than Ever
Thinner than ever.
Australia, Imagery, Kevin Rudd, PoliticalKevin Rudd’s Ego
Kevin Rudd’s Ego.
Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery, SexistXBOX Girlfriend
A real girlfriend does not complain when her boyfriend is on his xbox…
Animals, Bunnies, Imagery, RabbitsEmo Bunny
Emo bunny: No one ever understands him
Computers, Imagery, InternetNew Mail
10 years ago…
Dogs, ImageryMy Dog Bailey Tried To Steal Stuff Out Of My Daughter’s Purse.
My dog Bailey tried to steal stuff out of my daughter’s purse. He got stuck and came over to me for help.
Advertising, Feminine Hygiene, Imagery, Sexist, VintagePlease, Dave… Please Don’t Let Me Be Locked Out From You!
Please, Dave… please don’t let me be locked out from you! For complete feminine hygiene rely on Lysol – a concentrated germ-killer!
Animals, Bread, Dogs, Food, ImageryBread Dog
The Amazing Bread Dog.
Advertising, ImageryColgate Dental Floss Advertising Campaign
Colgate have created an ingenious campaign to promote their dental floss.
Cars, Imagery, TrucksDriver Is Fully Naked
Driver carries less than $50 cash and is fully naked.
Animals, Imagery, LlamaA Shaved Llama
A shaved Llama
Animals, Cats, DogsCats And Dogs
As seen in a dog’s diary…
Alphabet, Games, ImageryAlphabet Game
The Alphabet Game is a car game played to amuse travellers on long car rides.
Cats, Comics, ImageryPop Out Of Bed
If people were meant to pop out of bed we’d all sleep in toasters.
Animals, Cats, Dogs, JokeWoof
How do you get a cat to bark like a dog?
Animals, Cats, Ducks, Imagery, Robots, Sharks, VacuumsRobot Vacuum Cat Shark Duck Chase
Robot Vacuum Cat Shark Duck Chase.
Beaches, Imagery, Irish, SunbathingIrish Girl Sunbathing
An Irish girl sunbathes…
Accidents, Cars, ImageryPass With Care
Pass with care…
Arthur C Clarke, Astrology, QuotationsI Don’t Believe In Astrology
I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re sceptical.
Elderly, MemoryElderly Memories
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen…
Political, RisquéHillary Clinton Goes To Her Doctor For A Physical…
Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical…
Accidents, Imagery, Logan, Racist, WindowsLogan Repair
Another quality repair job by Logan City Council.
Animals, Cats, Imagery, KittensNo Sitz
I be here!
SexistMen’s Rules
We always hear the rules from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side…
Babies, ImageryDraw Fake Eyebrows On Your Baby
Draw fake eyebrows on your baby. Then sit back and enjoy the humour.
Children, Parenting, SportChild Beating
A seven year old boy was at the centre of a courtroom drama…
Animals, Cats, Godzilla, Imagery, KittensGodzilla Kitten
Terrifyingly cute…
News Headlines
Amusing news headlines
Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, Nokia, PhonesIPhone 5 Plus Versus Nokia 3310
iPhone 6 Plus versus Nokia 3310: Does it bend?
Bugs Bunny, Cartoons, Daffy Duck, Donald Duck, Goofy, Imagery, Looney Tunes, Mickey Mouse, Porky Pig, Road Runner, Tom And Jerry, Wile E CoyoteJust To Make You Feel Really Old
Just to make you feel really old…
Comics, ImageryThe Street Is Closed
Oh no—we’re trapped in here. The street is closed.
Geeky, ItNetwork Truths
The Twelve Networking Truths.
Bob Hope, Imagery, Johnny Cash, Kevin Bacon, Steve JobsDon’t Let Kevin Bacon Die
20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have No Cash, No Hope and No Jobs. Please don’t let Kevin Bacon die.
Police, RisquéPanties
Policewoman: Anything you say will be taken down!
Animals, Imagery, SharksMisunderstood Sharks
Misunderstood Sharks.
Camping, Grammar, Imagery, TentsYou Can’t Run Through A Campground
You can’t run through a campground. You can only ran, because it’s past tents.
Cats, Imagery, MailboxesMailman Jumped 15 Feet
Mailman jumped 15 feet. Dog was right. This is fun.
Imagery, InternetProcrastination
Have a little look at the Internet…
Geeky, Imagery, Scientific, UniversityHow People In Science See Each Other
How People in Science See Each Other.
CatsHappy Pussy
A collection of amusing cat pictures.
Animals, Bears, Cartoons, Imagery, PigsJackass Piglet
Hi, my name’s piglet and this is Jackass.
Apple, Computers, Geeky, Linux, Mac, WindowsHow To Fix Any Computer
A comprehensive guide to fixing any computer.
Animals, Imagery, OctopusesDrunk Octopus Wants To Fight
Drunk Octopus Wants to Fight…
English, GrammarParaprosdokians
Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.
Bones, ImageryI Found This Humerus
I found this humerus.
Computers, Geeky, ImagerySpeed Reader
Wow you read that fast! You must be a speed reader!
Fonts, Imagery, Running, Sport, Usain BoltUsain Bold, Usain Italic
Usain Bolt: Usain Bold, Usain Italic.
Imagery, Memory, Protests, RalliesBetter Memory
What do we want? Better memory! When do we want it? Want what?
Imagery, TattoosFree Tattoo Removal
Free (and perhaps painful) tattoo removal.
Apple, Computers, Flash, Geeky, Imagery, MacMacintosh
Mac Hater…
Imagery, WorkNothing To Do
In case of nothing to do, break glass and then sweep up broken glass.
ImageryCute Party Trick
Man with finger up nose and out of eye.
Sexist, WomenWhen A Woman Says “what?”
When a woman says “what?”, it’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
Imagery, MedicalHearing Aids
Hearing aids…
Australia, Democracy, Imagery, Political, RisquéAmazing Holes
Amazing Holes from Around the World.
JokeExercise - Some Facts
Exercise… some facts.
Corporate, Geeky, ImageryPatent Infringement
Eating Fruit…
PoliticalAbbott And Costello Go To Washington
Abbott And Costello Go To Washington.
ImageryMarketing
Marketing…
Imagery, RisquéToo Long
Her: Do you want to her a joke about my vagina? Nevermind… you’ll never get it! Her: Do you want to her a joke about my vagina? Nevermind… you’ll never get it!
Aboriginal, Australia, Imagery, Racist, The RockStolen Generator
So I heard about the stolen generation…
Crocs, Imagery, Shoes, WeddingsWedding Crocs
Wedding Crocs.
Canada, RacistAn Ontarian Wanted To Become A Newfie…
An Ontarian wanted to become a Newfie…
Bananas, Food, Hats, ImageryBanana Hat
Banana hat…
SexistA Love Story With A Happy Ending
Once upon a time, a bloke asked a girl “Will you marry me?”
Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, VintageDormeyer Crying Wives
Wives: Look this ad over carefully. Circle the items you want for Christmas. Show it to your husband. If he does not go to the store immediately, cry a little…
Accidents, Animals, Cats, Imagery, LaddersHumans Don’t Land On Their Feet
Gee you’re right, humans don’t land on their feet.
Halloween, Imagery, Pumpkins, VegetablesAngry Pumpkin Man
Angry Pumpkin Man: Come at me bro!
Cars, ImageryAbove The Law Like A Boss
Above the law like a boss: removing a wheel clamp.
Imagery, Rallies, Sexist, WomenWhat Women Want
Who are we? Women! What do we want? We don’t know! When do we want it? NOW!
Animated, Geeky, Imagery, PhotoshopAdobe Photoshop CS6 Has Stopped Working
The realest photography struggle ever…
Animals, Fish, Imagery, Love, Romance, SmsAnyways, Best Of Luck Finding Your Fish
Long story short, we’re in love. I know it seems sudden but life is sudden like that, you know? Anyways, best of luck finding your fish.
Imagery, PunsThe Highest Form Of Flattery
Plateaus: The highest form of flattery.
Babies, ImagerySpot The Baby
Spot the baby. No, the other one.
Evolution, Imagery, SexistThe Evolution Of Man And Woman
The Evolution of Man & Woman…
Cycling, Drugs, SportI Think It Is Just Terrible And Disgusting How Everyone Has Treated Lance Armstrong
I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he achieved, winning seven Tour de France races while on drugs. When I was on drugs, I couldn’t even find my bike.
Imagery, ShopsBall-type Deodorant
Her: Is it the ball-type deodorant you want sir? Him: Oh no miss – it’s for under my arms!
Animals, JokeThe Dead Rabbit
The Dead Rabbit, aka The Worst Joke Ever…
Babies, Imagery, InstructionsBaby Instructions
Some useful instructions to keep baby alive and well…
Advertising, April Fools, Ikea, Imagery, Product Recalls, ToolsIKEA Product Recall
IKEA product recall advert on April Fools Day
SexistMen Vs. Women
Men versus women…
Imagery, Masturbation, RisquéI’m Starting To Think My Husband Masturbates
I’m not absolutely certain yet, but I’m starting to think my husband masturbates
Android, Galaxy Note, Imagery, Phones, Samsung, TechnologyBattery Fully Charged. Unplug Charger.
In what is perhaps one of the more stupid “features” on my Samsung Galaxy Note, when it reaches full charge, it lights up its screen and pops up and audible alert saying “Battery fully charged. Unplug charger.” As I charge my phone at night, it is effectively an extremely annoying unwanted wake-up call.
Imagery, SignsAlways Give 100%
Whatever you do always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.
Imagery, ShipsA Ship Shipping Ship Shipping Shipping Ships.
A ship shipping ship shipping shipping ships.
Imagery, PoliticalMad Magazine’s Boy Grows Up
The boy from Mad Magazine morphing into George Bush.
Apple, Imagery, Ios, Ios6, TransportApple IOS6 Maps
For the benefit of passengers using Apple iOS6, local area maps are available from the booking office.
Adoption, Babies, ImageryAdopted Baby
Dude, I’m joking, you are not adopted!
Imagery, UniversityUniversity Website
Things on the front page of a university website.
Cars, ImagerySomething Wrong Officer?
Something wrong officer?
Alcohol, Imagery, Irish, RacistIrish Yoga
Irish Yoga.
Fish, ImageryThe Swordfish
The swordfish has few predators to worry about in the wild, except for the seldom seen penfish which is said to be even mightier.
Atoms, Imagery, SignsDo Not Trust Atoms
Do not trust atoms. They make up everything.
Animals, Drugs, Imagery, RabbitsHigh Rabbits
Two rabbits getting high on marijuana.
Communist, Computer Games, Geeky, ImageryA Case In Communism: The Super Mario Story
A Case in Communism: The Super Mario Story.
Animals, Australia, Dangerous, ImageryDangerous Australia
It’s no wonder we all live here…
Animals, Bugs, Flies, Imagery, Joke, MitesHey, Bug On My Back…
Hey, bug on my back, are you a mite? I mite be. Stupidest pun I ever heard…
Computers, GeekyMicrosoft Lightbulb Jokes
Microsoft Lightbulb Jokes.
Australia, Cars, Floods, Imagery, MechanicalDunno Mate, Maybe She’s Flooded?
Dunno mate, maybe she’s flooded?
Imagery, Men, SexistMen Have Feelings Too!
Men have feelings too! For example, we feel hungry.
Babies, Cars, Imagery, StickersBaby On Board
Baby on Board
ImageryMissed You...
Image of a soldier pointing a gun towards the camera with caption “When you first left, I missed you badly… I WONT THIS TIME”
Imagery, MusicI’m Not Just Another Brick In The Wall
We don’t need no education…
Imagery, SexistIron Man Competition
Ironman Competition - the way it should be…
Alcohol, Food, Imagery, VodkaVodka Diet: Lose 3 Days In 1 Week
Vodka Diet: Lose 3 Days in 1 Week.
Boobs, SexistTen Things Men Know About Women
Ten things men know about women…
Imagery, Risqué, SignsPlease Use Finger
Pen is broken - please use finger.
Imagery, Reincarnation, WoodReincarnation Gone Horribly Wrong
Reincarnation gone horribly wrong
Joke, RisquéJam And Butter The Muddy Plasters, The Dirty Bucket Of Pitch!
Jam and butter the muddy plasters, the dirty bucket of pitch!
Medical, RisquéBetter Than A Flu Shot
Better than a Flu Shot
Daleks, Doctor Who, Geeky, RobotsWhat Would Robots From The 1960's…
What would robots from 1960’s and 1970’s TV say today with current software installed?
ImageryI’m So Sick Of Not Being Understood!
I’m so sick of not being understood! What do you mean?
Australia, PoliticalPsalm 2009 – 2012
The First Book of Government.
Hunger Games, Imagery, Katniss Everdeen, Kristen Stewart, Movies, Movie Stars, Smiling, TwilightKristen Stewart Smiles
I don’t always smile, but when I do, I don’t.
Animals, Jokes, Puns, Racing, SnailsI Took The Shell Off My Racing Snail, Thinking It Would Make Him Run Faster.
I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster.
Imagery…and So It Was.
It’s a Bird! It’s a Plane!
Imagery, MotivationalSomeone Out There Cares
I want you to know that someone out there cares. Not me, but someone does.
Cling-wrap, Imagery, WorkCling-wrap Fun
Cling-wrap fun.
Autocorrect, Imagery, Iphone, SmsBroken Penis
I broke my penis and it exploded all over my pants.
Advertising, Billboards, ImageryThere Are Two Rules For Success
There are two rules for success: Never reveal everything you know…
Board Games, Games, ImageryGroup Therapy
…is not going to make Q any less of a hated letter.
Beer, Imagery, Logan, Prams, Racist, Victoria BitterLogan Priorities
Logan Priorities.
Animals, Beavers, Birds, Cats, Dogs, Fish, Frogs, Horses, Imagery, Puns, Rabbits, ZebraPunny Animals
Who ever invented the “knock-knock jokes” should get a no-bell prize!
Advertising, Imagery, Men, Sexist, SignsThis Year Thousands Of Men Will Die From Stubbornness…
This year thousands of men will die from stubbornness. No we won’t.
ImageryProcrastination Issues
I’m taking care of my procrastination issues; just you wait and see.
Redneck, TechnologyTechnology For Country Folk
Technology for Country Folk.
Books, ImageryRead Your Book Case
A bookcase worth reading.
Animals, Dogs, Drugs, High, ImageryDog, How High Are You?
Dog, how high are you? Yes.
Advertising, Apple, Computers, Geeky, Imagery, MacMac Weed
A take-off of the Apple Macintosh switch ads.
Girls, Imagery, Moon, Photography, Sexist, Space, WomenWent To The Moon, Took 5 Photos. Went To The Bathroom, Took 37 Photos.
Went to the moon, took 5 photos. Went to the bathroom, took 37 photos.
Alcohol, Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, WindowsWindows: File Missing
Windows cannot find the file. Would you like some wine instead?
Bags, Imagery, ShoppingI’ll Be Bag
A bag titled “I’ll Be Bag”
Animals, Cars, Children, Girls, Horses, ImageryNo Pony For Christmas
No pony for Christmas? No window for driving!
Cars, Geeky, Imagery, SqlSpeed Camera Hack
Car with SQL injection taped to the front.
Germany, LoveTell Someone You Love Them Today
Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying and confusing.
Imagery, Jobs, WorkHonesty: Your Greatest Weakness
Interviewer: What would you consider to be your greatest weakness?
Animals, Bunnies, Chocolate, Easter, Food, Imagery, RabbitsEaster Bunnies
Chocolate Easter Bunnies: My butt hurts! What?
America, Imagery, Nsa, Obama, Phones, SpyingObama: “Aww No! Both Of You Hang Up!”
Her: “Ok, you hang up.” Him: “No, you hang up.” Her: “Haha, no you hang up.” Obama: “Aww no! Both of you hang up!”
Computer Games, Computers, ImageryPlay Outside
It’s a beautiful day. I really want you to go outside and play.
Cartoons, Comics, Imagery, MoviesThe Bat Cave
The location of our Bat Cave is meant to be secret, so stop checking in!
Beer, Computers, GeekyIf Beer Was Like Operating Systems...
If Beer was like Operating Systems…
Animals, Animated, Bananas, Cats, ImageryCat & Banana
The cat and the banana.
Animals, Dogs, ImageryI See What You Did There
I see what you did there… also, over here…
Diets, Food, Paleolithic DietPaleolithic Diet
Something’s just not right—our air is clean, our water is pure, we all get plenty of exercise, everything we eat is organit and free-range, and yet nobody lives past thirty.
Food, Imagery, SexistBut God, She Won’t Even Make Me A Sandwich…
But God, She Won’t Even Make Me a Sandwich…
Animals, Chickens, Chicks, ImageryHow To Pick Up Chicks
Instructional guide on how to pick up chicks.
Communist, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, SoftwareCommunist Traitor
It looks like you’re a Communist traitor…
Sexist, WorkDon’t Copy If You Can’t Paste
Don’t copy if you can’t paste…
Bmw, Cars, Imagery, WorkBrand New BMW
The owner of the company where I work pulled up in his brand new BMW this morning…
Droids, Imagery, Star WarsLook, Sir. Droids!
These are not the droids you are looking for.
English, WordsI’m Awkward When People Compliment Me…
I’m awkward when people compliment me… “Nice hair” Me: “Thanks, I grew it myself”
Imagery, SexistEscape From The Kitchen
You thought you could escape from the kitchen didn’t you?
ReligiousThe Atheist & The Bear
The Atheist and the Religious Bear
Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Pie ChartsTime Breakdown Of Modern Web Design
The breakdown of modern web design.
Illusion, ImageryWhat Kind Of Sorcery Lets These Two Blocks Be The Same Color?
One is dark, one is light. One is gray, one is white. These are obviously two different blocks with two different colors right? Wrong. The two blocks are the same color.
Agony Aunt, Cheating, Clinton, Dear Abby, Dear Abby, Political, RelationshipsDear Abby, My Husband Is A Liar And A Cheat…
My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything…
English, GrammarBipolar Awesome
English can be weird. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
Bogans, Imagery, Iphone, SpeakersBogan Bass
Bogan Bass: Yet somehow still better than Beats by Dr Dre.
Animals, Dogs, ImageryAchilles’ Heel
You got a dog?! Yup! His name is Achilles…
Geology, Imagery, SchoolGeology
Name the three types of rock.
Animals, Imagery, RaccoonsGet Well Soon
A raccoon lies dead on the road, holding a “get well soon” balloon.
Accidents, Cars, ImagerySorry: A Bus Accident
Sorry: A Bus Accident
Imagery, Jokes, ScrabbleScrabble Jokes
I accidentally swallowed some scrabble tiles… My next dump could spell disaster.
Accidents, Cars, Imagery, TrucksThe Road To Success
On the road to success, there are no shortcuts…
Imagery, RisquéPremature Ejaculators Anonymous
Man stating he ‘came too soon’ in front of sign stating ‘premature ejaculators anonymous’.
English, ImageryLike If You Can Raed Tihs
Like if you can raed tihs whit no porlqebm baecuas yuor jsut taht sarmt.
Acrobats, Books, ImageryAcrobat Reader
An acrobat reader…
Computer Games, Education, Games, Imagery, Internet, Minecraft, School, TestsMinecraft: Create A Simple Door
Describe a process that could be used to create a simple door.
Animals, Cows, ImageryA Cow Getting A Back Scratch
A cow getting a back scratch.
Boats, Imagery, Rowing, WarRow Row Row Your Boat
Row row row your boat. Shut up Carl.
Cars, Imagery, Italy, Racist, Risqué25 Year Old Escort
But Mr. Berlusconi, you said, “Send a 25 years old escort to my villa!”
WorkHow To Get A Day Off Work
How to get time off in the public service…
Comics, Dancing, Imagery, Ireland, Irish, Irish DanceThe Book Of Irish Dance: Volume Two
Whilst doing a long overdue clearout at the offices of Ireland’s oldest and most respected school of dance, Mrs O’Hara made a terrible discovery…
SexistPunctuation Is Powerful.
Punctuation is powerful.
Cars, Drugs, Imagery, PoliceHow High Are You?
How High Are You? No Officer, it’s “Hi, how are you”.
Animals, Giraffes, Imagery, SpidersGiraffe Spider
A giraffe spots a spider…
ImageryProblem Solving Flowchart
A simple, and humorous, flowchart that successfully troubleshoots almost any problem you can think of.
Advertising, Imagery, Rice, Risqué, Sexist, VintageVa-Rice-Ity: My Man Likes Something Unexpected…
My man likes something unexpected now and then. That’s why I serve him rice.
English, GrammarEnglish
Let’s face it - English is a crazy language.
Jokes, Pool, Puns, Sport, TreesWhat’s Green, Fuzzy, And If It Fell Out Of A Tree It Would Kill You?
What’s green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?
Evolution, ImageryEvolution: Stop Following Me!
The typical “evolution of man” poster, except the man is facing his “earlier ancestors” saying “Stop following me!”
Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery90’s Gamer
Everytime I hear people complain about online gaming, I wish they could experience my pain of online gaming in the 90’s…
PoliticalScientific Breakthrough – Governmentium
A major research institution recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named Governmentium.
SexistMen Are Happier
Men are Happier: What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Ice, Imagery, MindpowerMelt Ice With My Mind
I can melt ice with my mind… just give me a few minutes…
Cars, ImagerySideways Car
It’s a little confusing…
Babies, Imagery, PregnancyHow Babies Are Made
How babies are made (with an air pump).
Cars, Computer Games, ImageryLegend Of Zelda
A legend… of Zelda.
ImageryPositive For Coke
You’re fired Jack, the lab results just came back and you tested positive for Coke.
Animals, Imagery, ZebrasI Love You Zebra
Bite marks are love notes written in flesh. I love you zebra.
Animals, Imagery, SharksSharks Are A Lot Friendlier Without Pointy Teeth
Sharks are a lot friendlier without pointy teeth.
Advertising, Australia, Billboards, CarsRAC Roadside Assistance Meltdown
You don’t want to be stuck out here.
ImageryBird Flu
I’m not worried about this bird flu…
Animals, Fish, ImageryCan February March? No, But April May.
Can February March? No, but April May.
Business Cards, ImageryYou Have A Nice… Business Card
A business card: “You have a nice… {day, ass, attitude}.
Animals, ImageryAntique Tables
Made Daily…
Animals, Animated, Dogs, Imagery, TonguesDog Tongue
A dog with a very long tongue.
Elderly, Hearing Aids, ImageryExpensive Hearing Aid
A man was telling his neighbour, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.”
Facebook, Imagery, InternetFuture Man
So you’re saying people will “tweet” what they’re eating for breakfast?
Imagery, MilkLying About Skim Milk
There’s only one thing I hate more than lying. Skim milk, which is water that’s lying about being milk.
Cars, PoliceSpeed Camera
Speed camera revenge…
ImageryCockroach Cancer
Please, don’t throw your cigarette butts on the floor…
Animals, Djs, Fishing, Imagery, MusicDrop The Bass
Can’t go fishing, ‘cause I always drop the bass…
Animals, Dogs, ImageryDog Poo Bin
If your dog does a poo please put it in a litter bin.
Australia, PoliticalCostello’s Reward For Being Loyal
Costello’s reward for being loyal…
Olympics, Racist, SportAthens Olympic Soccer Stadium
The Athens Olympic Stadium…
Birds, Imagery, RavensWhere Have You Been All Weekend?
Where have you been all weekend? Out Raven.
Australia, Cricket, Imagery, VideoHow Cricket Looks To Most People
How Cricket Looks to Most People.
Computer Games, Imagery, Microsoft, XboxXbox One Vs. An Ordinary Brick
Xbox One vs. An Ordinary Brick: Price, DRM Free, Requires Internet, Region Locked…
Geeky, RisquéEUNUCH Programmer's Manual - CONDOM(1)
The EUNUCH Programmer's Manual - CONDOM(1)
Canada, Flutes, Imagery, SignsCanada Has A Serious Epidemic
Protect yourself and others from the flute.
Illusion, ImageryMoving Illusion
A psychedelic illusion where a brightly coloured non-moving image appears to be pulsating in and out.
Animals, Imagery, OttersOtter Nonsense
I’ve had it up to here with your otter nonsense…
Adobe, Geeky, Imagery, UpdatesAdobe Updates
I don’t always have an update…
Hammer, ImageryStop! Hammer Time
Stop! Hammer Time!
Geeky, Imagery, InternetYour Computer Is Broadcasting Your IP...
Your computer is broadcasting your IP over the Internet…
English, Grammar, Risqué, School, University, WritingShort Story
A college class was told they had to write a short story in as few words as possible.…
Imagery, Kim Jong-un, North Korea, SnickersKim, Eat A Snickers
Kim Jong-un: I’m going to nuke everyone. Kim, eat a Snickers. Kim: Why? Because you turn into a war mongler when you’re hungry. Better? Kim: Better.
Clippit, Imagery, Microsoft, Office, Paperclips, WorkIt Looks Like You Are Wasting Office Supplies. Would You Like Some Help?
Clippit: It looks like you are wasting office supplies. Would you like some help?
Cars, Imagery, StickersF It
F-it
Imagery, Phones, SmsStreet Name
Hey, what’s your street name?
Imagery, Ocd, ShirtsI Have CDO. It’s Like OCD But All The Letters Are In Alphabetical Order.
I have CDO. It’s like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order. As they should be.
Babies, Drinking, Imagery, Studying, The RockWhat Are Your Plans For The Weekend?
What are your plans for the weekend? Studying. [shocked look] Drinking! Drinking!
Animated, Illusion, ImageryTwo Person Optical Illusion
Optical illusion: Keep your eyes on the cross, and see what happens.
Brooms, Imagery, Parking, Sexist, Witches, WomenWomen Can’t Park
Who said that women can’t park?
English, VegetablesThe Correct Way To Spell Potato
The correct way to spell potato is “GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU”.
Apple, Imagery, Ios, Ios7, Iphone, Mobiles, PhonesThe New IPhone 5C With IOS 7
The new iPhone 5C with IOS 7.
SexistGirl’s And Boy’s Diaries
A girl and a boy and their diaries…
Facebook, ImageryBe The First Of Your Friends To Like This Post.
A post with a poster on it, “Be the first of your friends to like this post”.
Asian, Facebook, Imagery, RacistHumans Of Sunnybank
In Asia culture, it’s important for wife to trust husband and let him be the leader in the house. That’s why after I am married, I will always leave big decision to him – for example, choosing between buy me a Chanel for birthday or go sleep on sofa for a whole month instead.
Imagery, SpidersSpider’s Remember
Remember when you threw a shoe at me and I fell somewhere behind the bed? I remember too.
Alcohol, Cooking, Imagery, WineCooking With Wine
I tried cooking supper with wine tonight. Didn’t go so well. After 5 glasses I forgot why I was even in the kitchen.
Cars, ReligiousRoad Rage
Two cars were waiting at a stoplight. The light turned green, but the man didn’t notice it…
ImageryAwkward Moment
The awkward when you already said “moment” in your head before you read it.
Computers, Evolution, ImagerySomething Went Terribly Wrong
Something, somewhere went terribly wrong.
Animals, Birds, Chickens, Imagery, Rock And RollChook Heavy Metal Guitarist
A heavy metal guitarist chicken
Imagery, Notices, Paper, SignsPaper Says Yes
Would you like a little piece of paper that says yes to hang onto during the tough times ahead? (Maybe it will help)
Chinese, Imagery, Racist, Tattoos, WomenIf Chinese People Tattooed Lame English Words On Themselves…
If Chinese people tattooed lame English words on themselves…
Art, Geeky, ImageryNational Portrait Gallery
National Portrait Gallery. National Landscape Gallery…
JokeLaurel And Hardy
Laurel and Hardy were repairing their roof. All of a sudden, Hardy lost his balance and went tumbling on the ground…
Geeky, ImageryOhm
…ohm.
ImageryTrapped Miners
The first photo of the trapped miners…
Children, Cleaning, Imagery, MopsStupid Child Efficiency Mop
Stupid Child Efficiency Mop. Wipe high-efficiently.
Explosions, Guns, ImageryTold Her Not To Brag About Her Barbie Dream House…
Told her not to brag about her barbie dream house…
Animals, Cats, Glasses, ImageryBut These Are For Girls
But these are for girls… Holy Crap! I look fabulous!
Illusion, ImageryFour Perfectly Round Circles
Four Perfectly Round Circles.
Cars, ImageryFail Towing
Thank You for Using Fail Towing, Inc.
Animals, Horses, Imagery, SeahorsesSeahorse
I’m a seahorse. Your argument is invalid.
SexistCIA Assassin
The CIA had an opening for an assassin…
Accidents, Buses, Cars, Imagery, InsuranceDon’t You Suggest To Me What To Do
If you don’t have GIO Third Party Property Insurance, we suggest you don’t hit this bus.
Imagery, Odin, PoliticalVote Odin
The left wing said they’d abolish poverty; right wing said they’d abolish bureaucracy. Odin said he’d abolish ice giants. Where are the ice giants? Vote Odin!
Animals, Birds, Imagery, Notices, Parrots, SignsParrot BBQ
Parrot Lost: Parrot BBQ!
PilotsBlind Pilots
You know, Bob, one of these days, they’re going to scream too late, and we’re all gonna die…
Imagery, Sexist, WomenFeminine Instincts
If a girl ever pulls out a knife on you during an argument, pull out some bread and mayo. Her feminine instincts will kick in and she’ll make you a sandwich.
Cars, Computers, GeekyMicrosoft Car
Microsoft and General Motors on the Automobile.
Imagery, Internet, SwordsSwords Of The Centuries
Swords of the Centuries
ImageryBefore Tweeting
In case of fire: Exit building before tweeting about it.
Imagery, Nietzsche, ReligiousNietzsche Is Dead
God is dead” ~Nietzsche / “Nietzsche is dead” ~God.
Apple, Imagery, Ipad, Portal, Technology, ValveValve’s “Portal”, As An IPad Decoration.
Valve’s “Portal”, as an iPad decoration.
Religious, RisquéSisters Of St Francis
Sisters of St. Francis House of Prostitution…
Beer, SexistA Beer Before It Starts
A man came home from work, sat down in his favourite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, “Quick, bring me a beer before it starts”…
Australia, History, RacistA Brief History Of Australia
Australia was founded in 1901 by Jimmy “Crocodile” Austral, a deportee of England who was banished for cannibalism, having eaten 32 members of the House of Lords. In accordance with English colonial law, this entitled him to an entire already-inhabited continent.
RisquéTarzan Sex
When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex…
JokesComplimentary Pretzels
A guy walks into a bar and takes a seat. Before he can order a beer, the bowl of pretzels in front of him says “Hey, you’re a handsome fellow.”
Computers, GeekyMessage From Your IT Deptartment
Message from your IT Deptartment…
Animals, Dogs, Imagery, Phones, SmsTexts From My Dog
My dog sends me texts…
RacistFerrari Sack Pit Crew
The Ferrari Formula 1 Team fired their entire pit crew yesterday…
America, Imagery, North Korea, Obama, RacistNorth Korea: I Will Destroy America
North Korea: I will destroy America! Obama: Too late!
Imagery, NinjasNinja Exit
Ninja Exit Only
Money, SexistFemale Financial Planning
Women are so much better at financial planning than men.
Animals, Cats, ImageryCat In A Cat Box
A cat in a Cat box.
Darth Vader, ImageryBreathe Right
Darth Vader going for some Breathe Right.
Accidents, Cars, Imagery, TargetMissed Target
Missed Target: So close…
Africa, Animals, Cats, Imagery, Lions, TouristsThe Best Photo Caption
A western woman in Africa—presumably a tourist—squats to go to the toilet in the bush, pants down, toilet paper in hand, her backpack in the grass nearby; unaware a lion is sneaking up behind her. Captioned “if she hasn’t… she will soon”.
Imagery, Movies, PiratesHorny Pirate’s Worst Nightmare
What’s a horny pirate’s worst nightmare?
Australia, Football, Imagery, Muslim, Racist, SportWell, I Guess We’ll Beheading Home Now
Well, I guess we’ll beheading home now…
Bathrooms, Imagery, SignsYou Look Fine
Instead of a mirror, a sign “you look fine”.
Cars, Imagery, PoliceMisleading The Public
$100 for speeding and $250 for misleading the public…
Animals, Cats, Cockroaches, Dogs, Imagery, Men, WomenThe Circle Of Life
The Circle of Life: Who is afraid of who?
ImageryVegetative State
Vegetative State.
Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryCat: The Dog Went Missing
Cat: The dog went missing? Hahaha! Hahaha! I’m sorry human. Hahaha… no seriously, I’m so sad…
Animals, Books, Dolphins, Imagery, LibrariesTo Punch A Dolphin In The Mouth
5 very good reasons to punch a dolphin in the mouth.
Animals, Imagery, SharksShark! What?
Shark! What?
Apple, Computers, Imagery, Phones, Religious, Steve JobsI Have An APP For That!
Steve Jobs, 1955 – 2011.
Evolution, Imagery, ZombiesZombie Evolution
The evolution of Zombies
Computer Games, Geeky, ImageryReality
Worst game ever.
Imagery, R2-d2, Star Wars, TvThe Most Vulgar Character Of All Time
R2D2: They beeped out every single word he said
Africa, Animals, Bikes, ImageryUpsetting The Food Chain
A zebra on a motorbike…
Advertising, Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Phones, Samsung, Samsung Galaxy, TechnologyApple IPhone 20 & Samsung Galaxy S23 – Sword & Shield
A mock-up of the iPhone 20 and Samsung Galaxy S23, after the launch of the “taller” iPhone5 & the larger Galaxy S3.
Facebook, Imagery, NewspapersReal Life Facebook
I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles…
Perfect Existence
Perfect Existence: The Proof
Imagery, StovesCool Stoves
Cool Stoves
Batman, Imagery, WomenNana Nana Nana Batman!
Nana Nana Nana Batman!
Dating, Imagery, Relationships, SexistAnd Then I Said
And Then I Said… The Differences Between Boys & Girls.
Jokes, Punography, PunsPunography
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me…
Cars, ImageryCar Alarms
Car alarms: They piss me off!
Imagery, Motorbikes, SportOh Look, A Penny
Oh look, a penny!
Animals, Imagery, WhalesThe Hey Whale
The Hey Whale. It defies description.
Food, ImageryI Love The Smell Of Pixel In The Morning
I Love the Smell of Pixel in the Morning…
Flash, ImageryVision Test
Vision Test.
RisquéMickey Mouse
One day, Mickey Mouse decided that he wanted a divorce…
Aboriginal, Australia, RacistAboriginal Eggs
Two Aboriginal lads are riding along the Hume Highway on a motorbike…
Board Games, Imagery, SexistWomen’s Monopoly
By a man…
Facebook, ImageryI Think I Might Stay Home Tonight…
I think I might stay home tonight… Liver and Wallet like this.
Dba, Geeky, Imagery, SqlDBA/SQL Humour
An SQL query walks into a bar, goes up to two tables and asks, “May I join you?”
Bikes, Geeky, It, SexistAn IT Student Is Walking Along With His Bike…
An IT student is walking along with his bike…
Geeky, ItHow To Please Your IT Department
How to please your IT department.
Comments & Other Similar Social Data
Comments, Facebook Open Graph, & Other Similar Social Data.
Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, Microsoft OfficeMicrosoft Office Suite Pass Key
Does anyone have an extra Microsoft Office suite pass key?
Cooking, Imagery, Smoke DetectorsWhat Smoke Detectors Warn You About
What smoke detectors warn you about.
Geeky, ImageryIPad Stone
iPad versus a stone.
Animals, Dogs, Drugs, Imagery, MethMeth Lab Dog
Yellow Lab, Black Lab, Chocolate Lab, Meth Lab!
Imagery, SexistWomen: Yes, No, Maybe…
I think I have that women-talk all figured out…
Imagery, Jobs, Pie Charts, Statistics, WorkChance Of Keeping Your Job If You’re Wrong More Than 75% Of The Time
Chance of keeping your job if you’re wrong more than 75% of the time.
AlcoholCalm Living
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me today, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives.
Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery, TechnologyCombo Hit: Streetfighter Style
Combo Hit: Streetfighter Style
Campervans, Camping, Cars, ImageryNot A Happy Camper
Not a Happy Camper.
Australia, Banks, ImageryAustralian Banks
Australian Bank Logos.
ImageryStatistics That Matter: The Pie Chart
A new take on the traditional pie… chart.
Cartoons, ImageryFor A Good Time
For a good time, call…
Jokes, MathMath Joke
Math joke.
America, Animals, Australia, Birds, Eagles, Imagery, RacistAmerican Bald Eagle Vs Australian Wedge Tail Eagle
American Bald Eagle vs. Australian Wedge Tail Eagle.
Imagery, PiracyPiracy Is Not Theft
Imagine your car gets stolen, but it’s still there in the morning.
Animals, Cars, Donkeys, ImageryA BMW Donkey
A BMW donkey. Not much more to be said really.
Books, Imagery, PhobiasEverything You Wanted To Know About Phobias
Everything you wanted to know about Phobias (but were afraid to ask)
Coffee, Hipsters, Imagery, SignsHow Did The Hipster Burn His Tongue?
How did the hipster burn his tongue? He sipped on his coffee before it was cool.
Animals, Animated, ImageryLesson Of The Day
You should never do anything wrong, it will catch up with you…
Alligators, America, Animals, Australia, Bears, Birds, Crocodiles, Europe, Imagery, Moose, Puma, Rabbits, Sharks, Snakes, SpidersMost Dangerous Animals
How people in the colonies are still alive is beyond me…
Geeky, Imagery, Movies, Star WarsStar Wars
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…
InternetMoronic Email Scam
Nigerian spam…
Imagery, Tools, Work, ZombiesIn Case Of Zombies
In case of zombies… or yard work…
Illusion, ImageryThey See Us Rollin’
They See Us Rollin’… We Aren’t…
Art, Imagery, Michelangelo, Paintings, Reenactment, Sistine ChapelMichelangelo: The Re-enactment
A re-enactment of Michelangelo’s famous “The Creation of Adam”.
Illusion, ImageryShake Your Head
Shake your head
Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Internet ExplorerBrowser Wars
Browser Wars: Chrome versus Firefox… and Internet Explorer…
Pregnancy & Women: Questions
Pregnancy & Women: Frequently Asked Questions
Facebook, Imagery, TattoosTough Tattoos
Tough Tattoos: You Don’t Have to Like Me.
Cars, Computer Games, Geeky, ImageryGamers: The Mentality
Objects in mirror are losing.
Helpful Hints
Helpful Hints
Computers, Geeky, ImageryKeyboards
Amusing Keyboards
Animals, Carrots, Food, Imagery, Rabbits, VegetablesSuccess Is Not Always What You See
Success is not always what you see…
Boats, Fishing, Imagery, Logan, RacistFishing, Logan Style
Fishing, Logan Style.
Animals, ImageryGeneral Hierarchical Management Structure
I’ve never seen a Flow Chart described so clearly.
ImagerySimple Eye Examination Test
A simple eye examination chart.
Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Internet ExplorerWhat Are We? Browsers!
What are we? Browsers! What do we want? More speed! And when do we want it? Right now!
Betas, Bugs, Calendars, Cartoons, Imagery, MayansMayan’s Beta Calendar Bug
…to get to the point; why does your calendar end in 2012? Oh, that’s just a temporary problem in the beta version!
Idiots
Idiots everywhere…
Computers, GeekyRandom Number
A simple function to return a random number.
Imagery, Jealousy, Relationships, SmsBaby Are You Jealous?
Baby are you jealous?
Angels, Imagery, Red Bull, SculpturesRed Bull Gives You Wings
Red Bull Gives You Wings.
English, ImageryYou You Read The First Line Wrong?
What if I told you you read the first line wrong?
ImageryHoliday House
The Holiday House
Comics, Imagery, VeganI Am Going Vegan
I am going vegan
RisquéThe Hypnotist
It was entertainment night at the senior centre and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill…
Imagery, PhonesPhone Tails
That’s right dear, our ancestors had tails.
Alcohol, Animated, Fire, Imagery, Racist, Russia, SneezingIn Russia People Sneeze Fire
In Russia people sneeze fire after drinking lots of vodka.
ReligiousThe Pope Is Busted
After getting all of Pope John Paul’s luggage loaded into the limo…
Sexist, WomenWords Women Use
Words women use, and what they really mean.
April Fools, Imagery, Pizza, Salad, WorkThis Is How Workplace Violence Starts
This is how workplace violence starts…
Homeless, SexistSledgehammer Psychology
A business man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner…
Facebook, ImageryFacebook Illusion
Facebook: Providing the illusion you have friends since 2004!
Daleks, Dr Who, Food, Garlic, Imagery, TvGarlek
Garlek.
Ice Cream, ImageryI Scream Cone
I Scream Cone.
Helpline, Imagery, Phones, YogaYoga Emergency Hotline
Yoga Emergency Hotline, how may I help you?
Animals, Cats, ImageryDid You Try Jumping Off The Refrigerator Too?
Did you try jumping off the refrigerator too?
SexistEx Wife
The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my ex-wife…
Geeky, SexistDear Tech Support
Girlfriend technical support…
Catholic, Priests, ReligiousThe Priest And The Hairdryer
In Catholic schools students are taught that lying is a sin. Instructors are also advised that using a bit of imagination is OK…
Food, Imagery, PizzaI Just Burned 1500 Calories In About Five Minutes
I just burned 1500 calories in about five minutes. I forgot the pizza was in the oven.
Bsod, Geeky, Microsoft, WindowsBSOD: Blue Screen Of Death
The dreaded blue screen of death…
Cars, Gardens, ImageryMajor Tom’s Ground Control
Major Tom’s Ground Control Lawn and Garden Management.
Acronyms, Imagery, Iphone, PhonesIDK LY TTYL
IDK LY TTYL: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later.
Animals, Bikes, Frogs, Imagery, Kermit The FrogWrong Way
Wrong Way
Animals, Cats, Egyptians, Hieroglyphics, ImageryAncient Egyptians: Posting Cats To Their Walls Since 3150 BC
Ancient Egyptians: Posting cats to their walls since 3150 BC
SexistPerfect Riddle
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met…
Animals, Birds, Imagery, Mirrors, ParrotsTap That
I’d tap that!
Imagery, PlanesAerodynamics Simplified
How planes fly.
Geeky, ImageryCaps Lock
A visual representation of the use of caps lock.
Eggs, ImageryEscape Egg
Counting down the days to escape…
Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, Lotr, PizzaBrace Yourself. Pizza Is Coming.
Brace Yourself. Pizza is coming.
Mechanics, UnderwearAlways Wear Underwear
Always wear underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle…
America, Cia, Cocaine, Coke, Drugs, ImageryCIA: We Put The Coke In America
CIA: we put the coke in America.
Animals, Dogs, Imagery, SnakesLong Dogs
A man walking two long dogs meets a man walking two normal dogs…
Imagery, SchoolUnprepared For An Exam
Ever gone into an exam having not studied at all?
Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, SexistAmazing Hidden Images
Amazing Hidden Images!
Blonde, Imagery, SexistBlonde Geometry
Attached is problem 3 on a geometry examination…
Bikes, Imagery, NoticesBicycles Chained To These Railings Will Be Removed Without Notice.
Bicycles chained to these railings will be removed without notice. This is a notice, you idiot!
ImageryBribing Santa
Dear Santa, if you leave a new bike under the tree, I will give you the antidote to the poison I put in the milk.
Books, Imagery, Lance Armstrong, LibrariesLance Armstrong Fiction Books
All non-fiction Lance Armstrong books including “Lance Armstrong: Images of a Champion”, “The Lance Armstrong Peprformance Program” and “Lance Armstrong: World’s Greatest Champion” will soon be moved to the fiction section.
Imagery, RocksMy Pet Rock Ran Away
My Pet Rock Ran Away…
The Fellowship Of The Ring
The Fellowship of the Ring.
Geeky, InternetCannot Find The Damn File
Cannot find the damn file…
Risqué, Sexist, ViagraDealing With Hunger Pangs
A woman asks her partner at breakfast time, “Would you like some bacon and eggs a slice of toast and, maybe, some grapefruit juice and coffee?”
Imagery, TurtlesA Wee Turtle
A wee turtle…
Food, ImageryBreakfast Alive
What happens if you wait too long before eating your breakfast?
Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Linux, Mac, WindowsUpdate Available
An update is available for your computer…
Apple, Bill Gates, Computers, Heaven, Imagery, Microsoft, Phones, Religious, Steve Jobs, WindowsSteve Jobs & Bill Gates Discuss Heaven
Steve Jobs & Bill Gates Discuss Heaven: It doesn’t have any wall or fence…
Imagery, Music, Rap, Rock, SignsRap Loses To Rock
Rap is like scissors, it always loses to rock.
Imagery, Joke, Mayans, PredictionsMayan Joke Set-Up
Heh… I’ve just thought of a joke with the longest set-up ever! Cool! I’ll fetch a scribe…
Food, Imagery, RisquéCarrot Love
When carrots get kinky…
Alcohol, ImagerySlimming Drink
You look so much better after a glass or two!
Boobs, Cars, Imagery, Risqué, SexistShe Might Scratch The Paint
I know what you’re thinking… she might scratch the paint.
Geeky, Imagery, Ninjas, Pirates, ZombiesSurvival Tracking Guide
The Pirate, the Ninja, & the Zombie…
Drugs, Homophobia, Imagery, Marijuana, MedicalMedical Marijuana
What disease is your medical marijuana relieving?
Exams, Imagery, Signs, University, UqIn Class Vs. In Your Exam
In class vs. in your exam.
Animals, Cars, Driving, Imagery, KoalasDon’t Worry I’m Koalafied To Drive
Don’t worry I’m Koalafied to drive.
Boats, Burials, Cemetries, Funerals, Imagery, SexistBoat Funeral
A funeral procession pulled into a cemetery. Several carloads of family members followed a black truck towing a boat with a coffin in it…
Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, PhonesIPhone 6: Bend It Like Beckham
iPhone 6: Bend it like Beckham.
Babies, ImageryWomb Service
Hello, Womb Service? I’d like a double order of hot wings…
Alphabet, Doctors, ImageryThe Medical Alphabet
The Medical Alphabet
Boobs, Elevators, Imagery, RisquéThis Morning, I Was Beaten Up By A Busy Woman In An Elevator
This morning, I was beaten up by a busy woman in an elevator. I was staring at her boobs when she said, “would you please press one?”. So I did. I don’t remember much after that.
Alcohol, Australia, Bob Hawke, Imagery, Oxford, PoliticalBob Hawke’s Yard Of Ale
While at university at Oxford in 1963, Bob Hawke, former Prime Minister of Australia, entered the Guinness Book of Records here at the Turf Tavern after downing a yard of ale (that’s just over 2½ pints!) in just 11 seconds.
Imagery, PinterestIf You Like It Then You Shoulda Put A Pin On It
If you like it then you shoulda put a pin on it!
ImagerySteady Hand – The Results
Steady Hand – The Results (or what happens when you play Steady Hand)
Irish, Racist, ReligiousAn Irish Daughter Had Not Been To Her Parent's House For Over Five Years...
An Irish daughter had not been to her parent’s house for over five years…
Bipolar, Graffiti, Imagery, SignsBipolar Awesome
I hate being bi-polar. It’s awesome.
Imagery, New Years, ResolutionsNew Year’s Resolutions – Again
New Year’s Resolutions – Again
English, Grammar, Imagery, School, TeachersGrammar Vandal
When English teachers snap: Sorry Ma’am, but bad grammar is no excuse for vandalism.
Animals, ImageryFalling Cows
A roadsign showing a cow falling off a cliff and onto a car.
Marriage, Religious, Sexist, WivesGood & Obedient Wives
And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world…
Australia, Bank Notes, Banks, Imagery, Money, PoliticalAustralian Bank Notes
Australian Bank Notes.
Chat, Imagery, InternetChat Rooms
Chat Rooms – you never really know.