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Search Ned Martin’s Amused

Ned Martin’s Amused Pages

GeekyUnusual EBay Feedback
A+++! Would read this amusing page again…
Facebook, Imagery, MoneyHow To Make Money From Facebook
How to make money from facebook: 1) just go to “Account Settings”; 2) Press “Deactivate your account”; 3) Go to work.
Computer Games, Imagery, SexistCall Of Duty: Women’s Edition
Call of Duty: Women’s Edition.
Duct Tape, Imagery, WorkEmergency Bridge Repair Team
Duct Tape: Good for anything.
Imagery, MusicI’m Not Just Another Brick In The Wall
We don’t need no education…
Earth, ImageryHeld Hands Around The Equator
If the human population held hands around the equator, a significant portion of them would drown.
Droids, Imagery, Star WarsLook, Sir. Droids!
These are not the droids you are looking for.
Facebook, ImageryI Think I Might Stay Home Tonight…
I think I might stay home tonight… Liver and Wallet like this.
Animals, Cats, DogsCats And Dogs
As seen in a dog’s diary…
Computer Games, Imagery, Microsoft, XboxXbox One Vs. An Ordinary Brick
Xbox One vs. An Ordinary Brick: Price, DRM Free, Requires Internet, Region Locked…
Imagery, Phones, Risqué, SexPhone Sex
Phone Sex. You’re doing it wrong.
Africa, Animals, Bikes, ImageryUpsetting The Food Chain
A zebra on a motorbike…
Animals, Australia, Crocodiles, Emus, Imagery, Kangaroos, Koalas, Kookaburras, Police, Sharks, Spiders, Woolworths26 Everyday Occurrences In Australia
When you live on a barely hospitable desert island that was once a continent-sized penal colony, your life tends to be a little more badass than the average person’s.
Australia, SexistAussie Men
Aussie men… struggling with the booze…
Animals, Cars, Cows, Drunk, ImageryDrunk Cows
Drunk Cows: Bruce you are drunk.
Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Internet ExplorerBrowser Wars
Browser Wars: Chrome versus Firefox… and Internet Explorer…
Animals, Imagery, SealsSeal The Deal
What do you say we go behind this rock and seal the deal?
Animated, Flash, Illusion, ImageryIllusions
Warning: May induce epilepsy or cardiac arrest…
Imagery, Sexist, TalkingWomen Use About 30,000 Words A Day
Did you know that women use about 30,000 words a day while men use only 15,000?
Illusion, ImageryRound Illusion
Unusual round illusion.
For Sale, Imagery, Posters, PrintersPrinter For Sale
Printer For Sale. Works Terribly.
Alcohol, Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, WindowsWindows: File Missing
Windows cannot find the file. Would you like some wine instead?
ImageryWhat Is A Sonofabitch?
What is a sonofab*tch, exactly?
Animals, Cars, Driving, Imagery, KoalasDon’t Worry I’m Koalafied To Drive
Don’t worry I’m Koalafied to drive.
Imagery, Risqué, Tape Measures, ToolsBreakdown Of A Man’s Tape Measure Usage
Breakdown of a man’s tape measure usage
Imagery, Paper, SignsIs It Me You’re Looking For?
Hello? Is it me you’re looking for?
Imagery, MotivationalSomeone Out There Cares
I want you to know that someone out there cares. Not me, but someone does.
Jokes, MathMath Joke
Math joke.
Australia, Democracy, Political, RacistThe Ant And The Grasshopper
The Original Story of the Ant and the Grasshopper.
Animals, Bugs, Flies, Imagery, Joke, MitesHey, Bug On My Back…
Hey, bug on my back, are you a mite? I mite be. Stupidest pun I ever heard…
InvisibleYou Can See Me?
Next time a stranger talks to me when I’m alone I will look at them shocked and just whisper quietly, “you can see me?”
Diets, Food, Paleolithic DietPaleolithic Diet
Something’s just not right—our air is clean, our water is pure, we all get plenty of exercise, everything we eat is organit and free-range, and yet nobody lives past thirty.
Imagery, MenI'd Rather Break My Arms Than Take Two Trips
I'd rather break my arms than take two trips.
Animals, Cats, Geeky, ImagerySchrödinger’s Cat
Wanted: Dead & Alive…
Animals, Dogs, ImageryHide Yo Kids!
Hide yo kids! Hide yo wife!
Animals, Conspiracies, Dogs, Imagery, SheepThat Conspiracy Stuff
I’m telling you – the man and the dog are definitely working together…
Afghanistan, RacistInvestment Opportunity
Investment Opportunity. Thought you might want to consider getting on board early.
Imagery, PhonesJester App
Sorry–you've been replaced by an app…
Coronavirus, Gynaecology, ImageryVisiting Your Gynaecologist During Coronavirus
Visiting your Gynaecologist during Coronavirus
Epilepsy, Imagery, PostersSeize The Day
Seize The Day: Sign up for the Epilepsy Awareness Walk.
Corporate, Geeky, ImageryPatent Infringement
Eating Fruit…
Animals, ImageryHow Dishwashers Really Work
How dishwashers really work…
AudioPsychiatric Answering Machine
A Psychiatric Office Answering Machine.
Children, Parenting, Risqué“Hi Honey. This Is Daddy. Is Mummy Near The Phone?”
Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mummy near the phone?
Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery, WorkMario: Happy
Quit your day job and do what makes you happy.
Jewish, RacistBacon Tree
Back in cowboy times, a westbound wagon train was lost and low on food…
Bikes, ImagerySquare Bike
Surprisingly good riding down stairs… not so good on the flat.
Australia, Condoms, New Zealand, Racist, RisquéAustralian Condoms
New Zealand runs out of condoms…
Animals, Cars, Children, Girls, Horses, ImageryNo Pony For Christmas
No pony for Christmas? No window for driving!
Animals, Food, ImageryBoiled Lobster
“I hate the way they scream when you boil them!”
Imagery, UniversityUniversity Website
Things on the front page of a university website.
Australia, History, RacistA Brief History Of Australia
Australia was founded in 1901 by Jimmy “Crocodile” Austral, a deportee of England who was banished for cannibalism, having eaten 32 members of the House of Lords. In accordance with English colonial law, this entitled him to an entire already-inhabited continent.
Bottles, Imagery, Messages, UsbModern Day Message In A Bottle
A USB stick in a bottle lying on the beach.
Bananas, Food, Imagery, SausagesBanana Sausage
Banana sausage…
Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, PhonesIPhone 6 Repair Kit
iPhone 6 repair kit.
America, Imagery, North Korea, Obama, RacistNorth Korea: I Will Destroy America
North Korea: I will destroy America! Obama: Too late!
Risqué, Sexist, WorkSentence Structure: Why Sentence Structure Is Important
Sentence Structure: Why sentence structure is important.
Blonde, Imagery, SexistBlonde Geometry
Attached is problem 3 on a geometry examination…
English, Grammar, Risqué, School, University, WritingShort Story
A college class was told they had to write a short story in as few words as possible.…
Geeky, Imagery, InternetSlashdot For Dummies
Slashdot for Dummies – A Reference for the Rest of Us!
Drugs, Imagery, Marijuana, SexistI Tried Pot Once. Now I’m Gay!
I tried pot once. Now I’m gay!
JokesToday Is Sunday
Attention! Today is Sunday. Share this on your Facebook wall. Within seven days you’ll get another Sunday…
Boats, Burials, Cemetries, Funerals, Imagery, SexistBoat Funeral
A funeral procession pulled into a cemetery. Several carloads of family members followed a black truck towing a boat with a coffin in it…
Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, SexistAre Those Yours?
…they’re turning out so big and cute!
Forecasting, ImageryJohn’s Weather Forecasting Stone
One of the most reliable ways of forecasting…
Imagery, RocksOrders From A Rock
[On a rock] Turn me over. You just took orders from a rock.
Cling-wrap, Imagery, WorkCling-wrap Fun
Cling-wrap fun.
Africa, Animals, Imagery, Lions, SafarisShould I Tell Them I’m Here?
Should I tell them I’m here?
Cars, Geeky, Imagery, SqlSpeed Camera Hack
Car with SQL injection taped to the front.
ReligiousThe Pope Is Busted
After getting all of Pope John Paul’s luggage loaded into the limo…
Australia, Imagery, Kevin Rudd, PoliticalThe Many Hands Of Kevin Rudd
The many hand gestures of Kevin Rudd.
New Zealand, RacistKiwi Air Disaster
New Zealand’s worst air disaster occurred earlier today…
Imagery, Kitchens, Sexist, WomenFor Too Long The Voice Of Women Has Been Silenced
For too long the voice of women has been silenced. It’s time they had microphones in kitchens.
Bugs Bunny, Cartoons, Daffy Duck, Donald Duck, Goofy, Imagery, Looney Tunes, Mickey Mouse, Porky Pig, Road Runner, Tom And Jerry, Wile E CoyoteJust To Make You Feel Really Old
Just to make you feel really old…
Geeky, ImageryCaps Lock
A visual representation of the use of caps lock.
Animals, Animated, Bananas, Cats, ImageryCat & Banana
The cat and the banana.
Imagery, RocksMy Pet Rock Ran Away
My Pet Rock Ran Away…
Highway Patrol, Police, Speeding, WorkcoverSweet Justice
Workcover versus the police…
Imagery, Signs, SpringSpring Is Here. I’m So Excited I Wet My Plants!
Spring is here. I’m so excited I wet my plants!
Self-checkout, Shopping, Technology, TerminatorUnexpected Item In Bagging Area.
It’s not unexpected, you literally just told me what it is…
Imagery, StovesCool Stoves
Cool Stoves
Animals, Cats, ImageryCat Eats Watermelon
Cat eats watermelon
Chinese, Imagery, Newspapers, SubmarinesHiding Submarines
China may be using sea to hide its submarines
Imagery, WifiBasic Human Needs
Basic human needs… like Wi-Fi.
ImageryWill Not Load Fully
This picture will not load fully!
Imagery, MoviesThere Are Three Kinds Of People: Impatient, Patient, And Rich.
There are three kinds of people: Impatient, patient, and rich.
Arthur C Clarke, Astrology, QuotationsI Don’t Believe In Astrology
I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re sceptical.
ImageryHoliday House
The Holiday House
Cars, Imagery, Logan, My Family Stickers, Racist, StickersLogan My Family Stickers
Logan My Family Stickers.
Animals, Fish, Imagery, Love, Romance, SmsAnyways, Best Of Luck Finding Your Fish
Long story short, we’re in love. I know it seems sudden but life is sudden like that, you know? Anyways, best of luck finding your fish.
Animated, ImageryWait!
Wait…
Illusion, ImageryConfused Carpentry
A Carpenter’s Nightmare.
Advertising, Clothing, Fashion, Imagery, SexistWhy Men Die Before Women
Why men die before women.
Imagery, Toilets, VandalismToilet Vandalism
We buy things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like…
Imagery, Psychotherapists, SignsPsycho The Rapist
Psycho the Rapist It’s one word George!
GeekyHow Many Does It Take...
How many forum posters does it take to change a light bulb?
Imagery, SexistWomen: Yes, No, Maybe…
I think I have that women-talk all figured out…
Imagery, Sexist, WomenFeminine Instincts
If a girl ever pulls out a knife on you during an argument, pull out some bread and mayo. Her feminine instincts will kick in and she’ll make you a sandwich.
Darth Vader, ImageryBreathe Right
Darth Vader going for some Breathe Right.
America, RacistAmerican State Mottos
American State Mottos…
Imagery, Paper, Plants, TreesIrony: Drawing Trees On Paper
Irony: Drawing trees on paper.
Breakfast, ImageryHow Did You Get In My House?
If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple “Thank you” is all I need. Not all this “How did you get in my house?” business.
Advertising, Feminine Hygiene, Imagery, Risqué, Sexist, Tampons, VintageThe Girls Are Talking About Tampons
The Blonde: It’s invisible sanitary protection, thank heavens…
Animals, Birds, Chickens, Imagery, Rock And RollChook Heavy Metal Guitarist
A heavy metal guitarist chicken
Business Cards, ImageryYou Have A Nice… Business Card
A business card: “You have a nice… {day, ass, attitude}.
Bricks, Footpaths, Imagery, OcdOCD Bricks
The worst thing that can happen to an OCD person…
ImageryMissed You...
Image of a soldier pointing a gun towards the camera with caption “When you first left, I missed you badly… I WONT THIS TIME”
Accidents, Animals, Cats, Imagery, LaddersHumans Don’t Land On Their Feet
Gee you’re right, humans don’t land on their feet.
America, Bear Arms, Constitution, Democracy, Imagery, Second AmendmentThe Second Amendment: The Right To Bear Arms
The second amendment gives Americans the right to bear arms. I think many have taken this out of context.
Imagery, Music, Rock, RocksJust Listening To Some Rock
Just listening to some rock
Comics, Imagery, Movies, WorkPopular Sayings #38
Dress for the job you want, not the one you have.
Animals, Imagery, ZebrasI Love You Zebra
Bite marks are love notes written in flesh. I love you zebra.
Animals, Bears, Guns, ImageryWhat Is The Smallest Calibre You Trust To Protect Yourself?
I remember one time while hiking with my girlfriend in northern Alberta and out of nowhere came this huge brown bear charging us, and was she mad!
Irish, Racist, ReligiousAn Irish Daughter Had Not Been To Her Parent's House For Over Five Years...
An Irish daughter had not been to her parent’s house for over five years…
Animals, Boats, Fish, Fishing, ImageryGive A Man A Fish And He Has Food For A Day
Give a man a fish and he has food for a day. Teach a man to fish and he has to buy bamboo rods, graphite reels, monofilament lines, neoprene waders, creels, tackleboxes, lures, flies, spinners, worm rigs, slip sinkers, offset hooks, gore-tex hats, 20 pocket vests, fish finders, depth sounders, radar, boats, trailers, global positioning systems, coolers and six-packs.
Earth, Imagery, Risqué, Solar SystemDon’t Masturbate
Don’t Masturbate!
Imagery, Risqué, SignsNo Public Motor Boating Permitted
No public motor boating permitted.
Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, Sweaters, VintageMen Are Better Than Women!
Indoors, women are useful — even pleasant. On a mountain they are something of a drag. So don’t go hauling them up a cliff…
Imagery, TattoosFree Tattoo Removal
Free (and perhaps painful) tattoo removal.
ImageryFingers Move
I think you’re spending too much time on the computer. Your fingers move when you talk…
Computers, ImageryChecking On A Slow Progress Bar
Checking on a slow progress bar.
Animals, Bikes, Frogs, Imagery, Kermit The FrogWrong Way
Wrong Way
Australia, Games, Imagery, Logan, Monopoly, RacistLogan Monopoly
Logan Monopoly…
Africa, Animals, Imagery, MoviesThe Lion King: Proof At Last
Pumbaa & Timon…
JokesComplimentary Pretzels
A guy walks into a bar and takes a seat. Before he can order a beer, the bowl of pretzels in front of him says “Hey, you’re a handsome fellow.”
The World’s Shortest Books
The World’s Shortest Books
Imagery, Iphone, Nokia, PhonesNokia Versus The IPhone
The strongest phones ever!
Bipolar, Graffiti, Imagery, SignsBipolar Awesome
I hate being bi-polar. It’s awesome.
Arguments, English, Grammar, ImageryArgument Typo
Heh I was almost forced to face the fact that my argument was bad but I see here that you made a typo hahaha tough luck pal.
ImageryWhy Women Live Longer Than Men
Genetics - Why women live longer than men.
Australia, Imagery, Nsw, PolicePoliceman’s Ball
A young woman was pulled over for speeding. A NSW Police Officer walked to her car window flipping open his ticket book. She said “I bet you are going to try and sell me a ticket to the Policeman’s Ball.” He said, “NSW Police don’t have balls.” There was a moment of silence. Then he closed his book, tipped his hat, and got back in his patrol car and left!
Fish, Imagery, MermaidsReverse Mermaid
You are alone on an uninhabited island. Which of these would you choose as your companion?
PilotsBlind Pilots
You know, Bob, one of these days, they’re going to scream too late, and we’re all gonna die…
Animals, Cats, Cockroaches, Dogs, Imagery, Men, WomenThe Circle Of Life
The Circle of Life: Who is afraid of who?
Driving, Sexist, WomenDamn Women Drivers
This morning on the freeway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Cadillac doing 110…
Beer, Calendars, Imagery, Mayans, Predictions2 Mayan Guys
[2 Mayan Guys] Wanna beer? I’m working on this calendar, but I guess if I don’t finish it won’t be the end of the world.
Blonde, Fruit, Ginger, Hair, Imagery, Strawberries, WomenGinger Versus Strawberry Blonde
This is a strawberry. This is ginger…
Boobs, Cars, Imagery, Risqué, SexistShe Might Scratch The Paint
I know what you’re thinking… she might scratch the paint.
Cycling, Drugs, SportI Think It Is Just Terrible And Disgusting How Everyone Has Treated Lance Armstrong
I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he achieved, winning seven Tour de France races while on drugs. When I was on drugs, I couldn’t even find my bike.
Beer, Geeky, Imagery, WorkUltimate Camouflage
An office beer fridge…
SexistWinter Classes For Men
Winter Classes for Men at the Learning Centre for Adults
ImagerySuper Batman
The Super Batman back pack, exclusive from China!
Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery90’s Gamer
Everytime I hear people complain about online gaming, I wish they could experience my pain of online gaming in the 90’s…
Imagery, Numbers, Star WarsWhy Was Five Afraid Of Seven?
Why was Five afraid of Seven? Because Six Seven Eight.
Risqué, SexKeep Your Mouth Shut
If you don’t believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut!
Animals, Imagery, WhalesPaper, Scissors, Whale!
Scissors cut paper again! I hate this game…
Imagery, Seniors, WarDrafting Guys Over 60
New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!
Adobe, Geeky, Imagery, UpdatesAdobe Updates
I don’t always have an update…
Geeky, SexistDear Tech Support
Girlfriend technical support…
Animals, Dogs, ImageryAchilles’ Heel
You got a dog?! Yup! His name is Achilles…
Animated, Chris Coutts, Flash, Imagery, No Effort OnlineChris Coutts: No Effort Online: Tales For The L33T: PATR TOO: HAMLET
Chris Coutts: No Effort Online flash animations
Accidents, Cars, Imagery, TrucksThe Road To Success
On the road to success, there are no shortcuts…
Evolution, Imagery, SexistThe Evolution Of Man And Woman
The Evolution of Man & Woman…
Drugs, Homophobia, Imagery, Marijuana, MedicalMedical Marijuana
What disease is your medical marijuana relieving?
Animals, Dogs, Imagery, SnakesLong Dogs
A man walking two long dogs meets a man walking two normal dogs…
GeekyIf Dr Seuss Was A Technical Writer
If Dr Seuss Was A Technical Writer.
Animals, Cats, ImageryHello Kitty
It’s sickeningly cute. Perhaps literally if its expression is anything to go by…
Imagery, ReligiousBelieve In Reincarnation
Yeah, well, I didn’t believe in reincarnation when I was your age, either.
Dates, ImageryMay The 4th Be With You
If today is “May the 4th be with you” does that mean tomorrow is “revenge of the 5th?”
SexistMen Are Like...
Men are like…
Cars, Imagery, MessagesThe 710 Cap
Hun I have a problem in my car…
Hammer, ImageryStop! Hammer Time
Stop! Hammer Time!
GeekyHuman Hotfix
Hotfix Patch for Humans released.
Coronavirus, Cruises, Face Masks, Imagery, Sunbathing, SunburnJust Back From Our Cruise. Had A Great Time.
Just back from our cruise. Had a great time.
Cartoons, Comics, Imagery, MoviesThe Bat Cave
The location of our Bat Cave is meant to be secret, so stop checking in!
Animals, Dogs, ImageryDog Poo Bin
If your dog does a poo please put it in a litter bin.
Cameras, Cannons, Imagery, NikonI Have A Cannon
You have a Nikon? I have a Cannon.
Books, Imagery, PhobiasEverything You Wanted To Know About Phobias
Everything you wanted to know about Phobias (but were afraid to ask)
Apple, Apples, Computers, Food, Imagery, Laptops, TechnologyMake Your Own Apple Laptop
Make your own Apple laptop the cheap—and healthy—way!
Coffee, Hipsters, Imagery, SignsHow Did The Hipster Burn His Tongue?
How did the hipster burn his tongue? He sipped on his coffee before it was cool.
Imagery, SexistCall The Rescue Squad!
I’m sorry dear. I can’t hear you. I’m in the kitchen, making you a sandwich.
GeekyQ209354 - HOWTO
How to RTFM…
Animals, Cats, Imagery, Snow, SnowballsThe Cat & The Snowball
The Cat & the Snowball.
Art, Imagery, Michelangelo, Paintings, Reenactment, Sistine ChapelMichelangelo: The Re-enactment
A re-enactment of Michelangelo’s famous “The Creation of Adam”.
Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, Microsoft OfficeMicrosoft Office Suite Pass Key
Does anyone have an extra Microsoft Office suite pass key?
Computer Games, Computers, ImageryPlay Outside
It’s a beautiful day. I really want you to go outside and play.
Animals, Birds, Imagery, Mirrors, ParrotsTap That
I’d tap that!
Computers, Geeky, ImageryWhenever I Have To Force Shutdown
Whenever I have to force shutdown.
America, Capitalist, ImageryIn Capitalist America…
Bank robs you!
Imagery, PinterestIf You Like It Then You Shoulda Put A Pin On It
If you like it then you shoulda put a pin on it!
Animals, Birds, Imagery, SeagullsSomebody Come Look At This
Somebody Come Look at This
ImageryTrapped Miners
The first photo of the trapped miners…
Agony Aunt, Cheating, Clinton, Dear Abby, Dear Abby, Political, RelationshipsDear Abby, My Husband Is A Liar And A Cheat…
My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything…
Animals, Imagery, SpidersLet’s All Take A Moment And Be Thankful That Spiders Don’t Fly.
Let’s all take a moment and be thankful that spiders don’t fly!
Bankruptcy, Divorce, Imagery, LiquorBankruptcy, Divorce, Liquor
Bankruptcy, Divorce, Liquor.
Alcohol, ChemistryAlcohol Is A Solution
Not to get technical but according to chemistry alcohol is a solution.
Imagery, Internet, SwordsSwords Of The Centuries
Swords of the Centuries
Cars, ImageryThe Park Anywhere Button
Self-explanatory really.
Animals, Cats, ImageryPlease Don’t Let The Cat Out. No Matter What It Tells You!
Please don’t let the cat out. No matter what it tells you!
Buses, ImageryGo Home Bus, You’re Drunk!
Go home bus, you’re drunk!
Boobs, Bsod, Computers, Fashion, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, Sexist, Shirts, Windows, WomenI Love My BSOD
Perhaps the only blue screen of death geeks would be happy to see.
Imagery, Rallies, Sexist, WomenWhat Women Want
Who are we? Women! What do we want? We don’t know! When do we want it? NOW!
Australia, Cooking, God, Imagery, KitchensIn God’s Kitchen
In God’s Kitchen: What are you cooking?
Animals, RisquéThe Lone Ranger
The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an Indian war party…
Animals, Birds, Crows, Imagery, TrucksCrows Killed By Trucks
Why are so many crows killed by trucks?
ImageryLegoland Will Never Be The Same...
Legoland will never be the same…
Animals, Dogs, ImageryHow The Hell Is The Ball Still In Your Hand?
How the hell is the ball still in your hand?
Animated, Fighting, Imagery, WweThrown Out Of The Ring
Thrown out of the Ring.
English, Grammar, ImageryGrammar Matters
Two Google searches: One for “how can u” and one for “how can an individual”
Buses, Bus Stops, Harry Potter, Hogwarts, ImageryBus To Hogwarts
To get the bus to Hogwarts, please run directly at this sign.
Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Imagery, Internet Explorer, Opera, SafariBrowsers: Their Differences
The differences between the major web browsers.
Animals, Imagery, LlamasGet In The Llama
No time to explain! Get in the llama…
Imagery, SexistBefore And After...
Before and after marriage…
Emergency, Imagery, Out Of OrderEmergency: Out Of Order
Please do not have an emergency!
Geeky, JokesIntellectual Jokes
Believing this statement will make you happier.
Angry Birds, Animals, Australia, Birds, Computer Games, ImageryAngry Birds Australia
Angry Birds Australia…
Canada, Etiquette, ImageryHolding Doors
Holding Doors: A Question of Distance.
Food, ImageryI Love The Smell Of Pixel In The Morning
I Love the Smell of Pixel in the Morning…
Imagery, PoliticalThailand Has The Largest Mormon Population
Did you know Thailand has the largest Mormon population in Africa?
ImageryBribing Santa
Dear Santa, if you leave a new bike under the tree, I will give you the antidote to the poison I put in the milk.
Animals, Imagery, SharksSharks Are A Lot Friendlier Without Pointy Teeth
Sharks are a lot friendlier without pointy teeth.
Australia, Iraq, PoliticalThe Australian Constitution: For Iraq
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq…
Imagery, Math, PiWife Of Pi
He’s irrational and he goes on and on…
Imagery, Masturbation, RisquéI’m Starting To Think My Husband Masturbates
I’m not absolutely certain yet, but I’m starting to think my husband masturbates
Imagery, Risqué, SexistInteresting ATM
Man using a sexually provocative ATM.
AlcoholCalm Living
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me today, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives.
Beaches, Imagery, WomenBitches Be Trippin’
Bitches be trippin’
Biology, Imagery, MathBiology, Multiplication And Division
Biology – the only science where multiplication and division mean the same thing…
Cables, Cables, Geeky, Imagery, UsbCables Exist In 4-dimensional Space
Proof USB cables exist in 4-dimensional space.
Africa, Animals, Cats, Imagery, Lions, TouristsThe Best Photo Caption
A western woman in Africa—presumably a tourist—squats to go to the toilet in the bush, pants down, toilet paper in hand, her backpack in the grass nearby; unaware a lion is sneaking up behind her. Captioned “if she hasn’t… she will soon”.
Imagery, Mistakes, PostersMake Some More Mistakes
I’ve learned so much from my mistakes… I’m thinking of making a few more.
Geeky, Imagery, Movies, The MatrixThe Matrix
What is The Matrix?
Books, Imagery, Sexist“Understanding Women” Now Available In Paperback
The book “Understanding Women” is now available in paperback!
Animated, Chris Coutts, Flash, Imagery, No Effort OnlineChris Coutts: No Effort Online
Chris Coutts: No Effort Online flash animations
Babies, ImageryWomb Service
Hello, Womb Service? I’d like a double order of hot wings…
Animals, Dogs, ImageryFunny Dog
The longer you look, the funnier it gets!
Imagery, Ocd, ShirtsI Have CDO. It’s Like OCD But All The Letters Are In Alphabetical Order.
I have CDO. It’s like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order. As they should be.
Animals, Imagery, SharksFlying Sharks
Flying sharks… we’re screwed.
Bananas, Food, Imagery, PhonesBanana Phone
It’s a banana phone…
Animated, Flash, Geeky, ImageryL33t H4x0r H4ml37
Tales for the L33T PATR TOO - HAMLET
Cars, Computer Games, Geeky, ImageryGamers: The Mentality
Objects in mirror are losing.
Imagery, RacistYou Must Be A Racist
Oh, you were expecting a white guy?
Imagery, SexistIron Man Competition
Ironman Competition - the way it should be…
Agony Aunt, Cheating, Dear Abby, Imagery, Motorbikes, Relationships, SexistDear Abby, I’ve Never Written To You Before…
Dear Abby, I’ve never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision…
Stress, WorkStress Management
A stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological texts.
ImageryI See Dumb People
I see dumb people… They are everywhere!
Animals, Imagery, Seals, SharksDo Not Consume If Seal Is Broken!
Do not consume if seal is broken!
Animals, Australia, Dangerous, ImageryDangerous Australia
It’s no wonder we all live here…
Animals, Imagery, Iphone, PhonesIt’s A Whale
How do you have any friends…
Imagery, Mexico, RacistMexico’s National Sport
What is Mexico’s national sport? Cross country.
Batman, Imagery, Iphone, Phones, SmsI’m Batman
SMS conversation between Tim and Batman.
Beer, Computers, GeekyIf Beer Was Like Operating Systems...
If Beer was like Operating Systems…
Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Pie ChartsTime Breakdown Of Modern Web Design
The breakdown of modern web design.
Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Internet ExplorerWhat Are We? Browsers!
What are we? Browsers! What do we want? More speed! And when do we want it? Right now!
Famous People, Imagery, Movie StarsReese Witherspoon
Reese Withoutherspoon.
America, English, Imagery, RacistEnglish (Traditional) And English (Simplified)
English (Traditional) and English (Simplified).
Imagery, SignsAlways Give 100%
Whatever you do always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.
Advertising, Cigarettes, Imagery, Risqué, Sexist, VintageBlow In Her Face
Blow in her face and she'll follow you anywhere.
ImageryBatman Downsized
Batman forced to downsize with increase in petrol prices…
Art, Imagery, RenaissanceYou Weren’t Even Listening Just Now, Were You?
You weren’t even listening just now, were you? What a weird way to start a conversation.
Aerodynamics, Aeroplanes, ImageryAerodynamics Simplified
How planes fly.
Pregnancy & Women: Questions
Pregnancy & Women: Frequently Asked Questions
Imagery, SignsDon’t Grow Up
Don’t grow up. It’s a trap.
Animals, Imagery, RacoonsOh… Hi… Umm… Meow?
Oh… hi… Umm… meow?
Illusion, ImageryThe Angry/Calm Illusion
The Angry/Calm Illusion.
Animals, Australia, Cats, Horse Racing, Horses, Imagery, Jockeys, Melbourne Cup, SportMelbourne Cup Cat Horse
Melbourne Cup Cat Horse.
Imagery, Keith Urban, MusiciansKeith Urban Accepted As Genuine Humanoid
Clint Felmingham: Did you know? Keith Urban is accepted by many Americans as a genuine humanoid/musician. Urban, a polymer composite (90% polyethene, 8% alcohol, 2% minor celebrity), was manufactured in Caboolture, Australia in 1987..
Accidents, Helmets, Imagery, Jamaica, Motorbikes, Risqué, SexistWhat’s The Main Reason For Motorbike Accidents In Jamaica?
What’s the main reason for motorbike accidents in Jamaica?
Imagery, SchoolUnprepared For An Exam
Ever gone into an exam having not studied at all?
Capitalism, Imagery, PoliticalSuffering From Capitalism
Feeling sad and depressed? Are you anxious? Worried about the future? Feeling isolated and alone? You might be suffering from Capitalism.
History, ImageryThe Most Difficult Thing To Explain To Someone From The 1950s
If someone from the 1950s suddenly appeared today, what would be the most difficult thing to explain to them about life today?
Imagery, SexistHusband Glasses
I’m returning these glasses I bought for my husband. He’s still not seeing things my way.
Daleks, Doctor Who, Geeky, RobotsWhat Would Robots From The 1960's…
What would robots from 1960’s and 1970’s TV say today with current software installed?
ImagerySimple Eye Examination Test
A simple eye examination chart.
America, Animals, Australia, Britain, Cows, India, Irish, PoliticalYou Have Two Cows
The eponymous cows is used to demonstrate the advantages and flaws of certain economic systems.
Computer Games, Education, Games, Imagery, Internet, Minecraft, School, TestsMinecraft: Create A Simple Door
Describe a process that could be used to create a simple door.
AudioTelstra Customer Service
An insight into the Telstra Customer Service Experience.
Explosions, Guns, ImageryTold Her Not To Brag About Her Barbie Dream House…
Told her not to brag about her barbie dream house…
ImageryTimes Have Changed
An image from an operating manual for the SAGE air defense system
Imagery, Topgear, TvIs There Anything Worse Than A Lego For Stepping On In The Middle Of The Night?
Is there anything worse than a Lego for stepping on in the middle of the night? A landmine.
Business Cards, Geeky, Imagery, Notepad, WindowsNotepad Business Card
A business card styled to look like Windows Notepad.
Animals, Imagery, Nuclear Power, SpidersSpider Farm
This seems like a disaster waiting to happen…
Animals, Babies, Biblical, Dogs, Imagery, ReligiousTake His Wife And Flee
It seems Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but she looked back and turned into a pillar of salt! What happened to the flea?
Grammar, Imagery, TomorrowTomorrow (noun)
Tomorrow (noun): a mystical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation and achievement is stored.
Farmers, Imagery, Men, Swimming, WomenThe Clever Old Man
One evening an old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond…
Dating, Imagery, Relationships, SexistAnd Then I Said
And Then I Said… The Differences Between Boys & Girls.
Bananas, Food, Imagery, ZucchinisGreen Banana
Green banana…
Comics, Guns, Hands, ImageryHands In The Air!
Hands in the air! Now wave them around like you just don’t care!
Animated, Coffee, ImageryAnimated Coffee
Coffee with emotion.
Books, Imagery, Racist, ShopsWong Fook Hing Book Store
If you cannot find the book that you are looking for, then you’re obviously in the… Wong Fook Hing Book Store!
Risqué, WorkThe Boss’s Quandary
The Boss’s Quandary…
Cartoons, Fire, Imagery, StairsIn Case Of Fire, Take Stairs
In case of fire, take stairs.
Australia, Condoms, New Zealand, Racist, RisquéKiwi Condoms
Australia runs out of condoms…
All Your Base, Geeky, Imagery, InternetAll Your Base...
All your base are belong to us.
Alcohol, ImageryAlcohol Research
Bum holding sign “Need Cash for Alcohol Research”.
Talking Clock
Why, that’s my Talking Clock…
Animals, Australia, Emus, WarEmu War
Result: Emu Victory.
Africa, Imagery, RacistEvery 60 Seconds In Africa
Every 60 seconds in Africa… a minute passes.
Bones, ImageryI Found This Humerus
I found this humerus.
Jokes, Pool, Puns, Sport, TreesWhat’s Green, Fuzzy, And If It Fell Out Of A Tree It Would Kill You?
What’s green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?
Animals, ImageryWhat Animals Dream...
What animals dream.
Bikes, Brisbane, Citycycle, Imagery, UnicyclesFrom The Minds Who Brought You CityCycle — UniCycle.
From the minds who brought you CityCycle — UniCycle. Brisbane’s brightest idea yet.
Animals, Elephants, Imagery, Kenya, ZoosMan & Elephant
In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Louisiana State University…
Imagery, RisquéJelly Orgy
A jelly orgy.
Comics, ImageryThe Street Is Closed
Oh no—we’re trapped in here. The street is closed.
Computers, Sms, WindowsWindows Frozen
Wife texts husband on a cold winter’s morning, “Windows frozen.”
Ballerinas, Imagery, WomenFreshly Washed Ballerinas
Freshly washed ballerinas.
Animals, Boobs, Imagery, SlothsLook At This Boob
Look at this boob. This is a nice boob.
Alice In Wonderland, Imagery, Movies, SexistUltimate Chick Flick
Ultimate chick flick: Two women fighting over a pair of shoes
Australia, Imagery, Kevin Rudd, PoliticalKevin Rudd’s Ego
Kevin Rudd’s Ego.
Atoms, Imagery, SignsDo Not Trust Atoms
Do not trust atoms. They make up everything.
Alcohol, Beer, Fitness, ImageryI Wonder What I Would Look Like With A Six Pack?
I wonder what I would look like with a six pack? Ahh, much better!
Imagery, Self-help, SexSex Maniac
Dear Dr Ruth, I’m writing to tell you my problem. It seems I have been married to a sex maniac for the past 22 years…
Dads, Imagery, Jokes, Phones, SmsSometimes I Sit On The Floor And Put My Arms Around My Knees And Lean Forward
Dad: Sometimes I sit on the floor and put my arms around my knees and lean forward. Daughter: Huh? Dad: Cuz that’s how I roll!
France, Germany, Imagery, RacistAngela Merkel Arrives At Passport Control At Paris Airport…
Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control at Paris airport. “Nationality?” asks the immigration officer. “German,” she replies. “Occupation?” “No, just here for a few days.”
Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, VintageHappier With A Hoover
Christmas morning she’ll be happier with a Hoover.
Food, Imagery, TurkeyRoast Turkey With A Doll Head
I was watching TV when I head my Dad in the kitchen laughing to himself. When I got up to see what he was doing, I walked in on this…
ImageryFurniture Training
Furniture training for one of their main purposes in life…
Canada, Flutes, Imagery, SignsCanada Has A Serious Epidemic
Protect yourself and others from the flute.
Cars, ImageryFail Towing
Thank You for Using Fail Towing, Inc.
Awards, Imagery, Jobs, Roads, WorkThe Winner Of The “Not My Job” Award
The Winner of the “Not My Job” Award goes to…
ImageryPositive For Coke
You’re fired Jack, the lab results just came back and you tested positive for Coke.
Accidents, Aeroplanes, Imagery, LuggageClosing Airline Luggage Doors
Closing Airline Luggage Doors.
RisquéMonica
Monica walks into her dry cleaning store…
Imagery, MoviesTitanic Ice Bucket Challenge
Titanic ALS Ice Bucket Challenge: “I accept your ice water challenge”.
Imagery, Potatoes, Vegan, VegetablesVegan Potatoes
Vegans are evil…
Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Linux, Mac, WindowsUpdate Available
An update is available for your computer…
ImageryHow To Be Green
A boardgame: How to be Green…
Bananas, Chris Brown, Food, Imagery, RihannaChris Brown & Rihanna Bananas
I can’t believe she didn’t press charges. It got worse when he posted the unpeeled photos of her.
Books, ImageryMystery Books
You have to find them first…
Geeky, RisquéEUNUCH Programmer's Manual - CONDOM(1)
The EUNUCH Programmer's Manual - CONDOM(1)
Hands, Imagery, Risqué, Valentine’s DayValentine Hand
Of course I’ll be your valentine. Let’s stay home and watch some porn.
Drawings, Imagery, SignsDraw Bridge
A man drawing a bridge at a “draw bridge” sign.
Animals, Imagery, RacistBlack Bears
Uh oh Howard. Looks like this area has black bears…
Blackjack, Cards, Games, ImageryBlack Jack Black
Black Jack Black eating Cracker Jack playing a black jack while playing BlackJack with Jack Black who is threatening Black Jack Black with a Black Jack.
Imagery, School24 Chickens
24 Chickens: The shoe rack at the front door…
Imagery, Jealousy, Relationships, SmsBaby Are You Jealous?
Baby are you jealous?
Illusion, ImageryCrazy Sphere
A crazy sphere
America, Animals, Australia, Birds, Eagles, Imagery, RacistAmerican Bald Eagle Vs Australian Wedge Tail Eagle
American Bald Eagle vs. Australian Wedge Tail Eagle.
Animals, Ducklings, Ducks, ImageryBeware Of Cute Duckling Scam
Beware of Cute Duckling Scam…
Imagery, Phones, SmsChosen One
I’m the chosen one…
Animals, Australia, Birds, Dingoes, Dolphins, Fish, Galahs, Imagery, Kangaroos, Koalas, Kookaburras, Parrots, Penguins, Snakes, Toads, TurtlesAccurate Animal Names: Australian Edition
Accurate Animal Names: Australian Edition
Clothes, Hats, Imagery, TiesYou Hang Around, I’ll Go On Ahead
You hang around, I’ll go on ahead.
Computer Games, Imagery, SexistThe Way Girls Play Computer Games
The way girls play computer games.
Accidents, Animals, Canada, Imagery, Moose, News, TvCanadian News
Canadian News: Quebec snowmobiler dies after driving under a moose.
America, Australia, Birds, Horror Movies, Imagery, MagpiesAustralian Horror Story
American Horror Story versus Australian Horror Story
Boobs, Elevators, Imagery, RisquéThis Morning, I Was Beaten Up By A Busy Woman In An Elevator
This morning, I was beaten up by a busy woman in an elevator. I was staring at her boobs when she said, “would you please press one?”. So I did. I don’t remember much after that.
Risqué, SexistThe Perfect Password
A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, the computer advised him that he would now need to enter a password…
Comics, Imagery, VeganI Am Going Vegan
I am going vegan
Eggs, ImageryEscape Egg
Counting down the days to escape…
Animals, Horses, Imagery, Knights, Monty Python, Riding, TvCouldn’t Find My Coconut Shells.
Was gonna ride to work today. Couldn’t find my coconut shells.
CarsMini Cooper
A guy driving a Mini Cooper pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce…
Imagery, Phones, Sms, SmsLost Phone
A man sends SMS from a lost phone…
ImageryCaution: Door May Open
Caution: Door May Open.
Imagery, Movies, RomanceGirlfriends: Harry Potter Versus Twilight
Ginny: When Harry broke up with me for my safety…
Food, Imagery, SexistBut God, She Won’t Even Make Me A Sandwich…
But God, She Won’t Even Make Me a Sandwich…
Animals, Animated, Imagery, PenguinsPenguin Falls
Penguin falling on ice.
Bsod, Clippit, Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, WindowsWindows
Windows. Still the most used operating system, and undoubtedly the most abused.
Geeky, ItNetwork Truths
The Twelve Networking Truths.
Cake, Ikea, ImageryHappy 25th Birthday IKEA!
Happy 25th Birthday IKEA! Here’s your cake
Animals, JokePygmy Dinosaur Hunter
The Pygmy Dinosaur Hunter…
English, ImageryLike If You Can Raed Tihs
Like if you can raed tihs whit no porlqebm baecuas yuor jsut taht sarmt.
English, Grammar, QuotationsAmusing Quotes & One-Liners
Amusing Quotes & One-Liners.
Illusion, ImageryHinton’s “Lilac Chaser”
The Dotty Illusion…
Imagery, Monday, Punch, WorkThe Monday Punch
The Monday Punch: A man punched in the face.
Daughters, Families, Imagery, MothersMum, What’s It Like To Have The Greatest Daughter In The World?
Mum, what’s it like to have the greatest daughter in the world? I don’t know dear… you’ll have to ask grandma.
Animals, Cats, ImageryAbercrombie & Cat
Abercrombie & Cat
Police, RisquéPanties
Policewoman: Anything you say will be taken down!
Babies, ImageryNow Airtight
Now airtight… to prevent aging!
Advertising, Apple, Computers, Geeky, Imagery, MacMac Weed
A take-off of the Apple Macintosh switch ads.
Imagery, Metaphors, Star WarsMetaphors Be With You
Metaphors be with you
English, GrammarIf Your A Grammar Nazi
If your a grammar nazi and your reading this your gonna have a bad time.
English, WordsI’m Awkward When People Compliment Me…
I’m awkward when people compliment me… “Nice hair” Me: “Thanks, I grew it myself”
Imagery, Iphone, Phones, Romance, SmsThe Modern Day Romantic
Goodnight my beautiful girl I’m so lucky to have you in my life. I love you so much <3
Animals, RisquéDoctor Bob Had Sex With One Of His Patients…
Doctor Bob had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long…
Imagery, SexistAlways Love A Woman For Her Personality
Always love a woman for her personality. They have like 10, so you can choose.
America, Coronavirus, Imagery, Political, Presidents, TrumpInject Yourselves With Disinfectant!
Inject Yourselves with Disinfectant!
Clippit, Imagery, Microsoft, Office, Paperclips, WorkIt Looks Like You Are Wasting Office Supplies. Would You Like Some Help?
Clippit: It looks like you are wasting office supplies. Would you like some help?
English, GrammarBipolar Awesome
English can be weird. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
Political, SchoolMath Instruction
At Heathrow Airport today…
Al Qaeda, Bin Laden, Imagery, Political, TerrorismI Usually Get 9/11
I don’t always get rated on my terrorism attacks, but when I do, I usually get 9/11.
Bathrooms, Coronavirus, Imagery, Public TransportExperts Recommend Keeping Your Daily Rituals Even While Working From Home
Experts recommend keeping your daily rituals even while working from home
Blonde, Cars, SexistBlondeStar
What to do when you’re locked inside your car, and the keys are outside…
Bikes, Imagery, PostsHave You Seen This Post?
Have you seen this post? He didn’t.
Guitars, Imagery, MusicFree Air Guitars
Christmas Gift Ideas: Free Air Guitars.
Imagery, Risqué, SexSex Tape
I made a sex tape. Shhh!
Animals, Penguins, SleepIf Penguins Have Knees
3 out of 4 voices in my head want to sleep (the other wants to know if penguins have knees!)
ImageryButtons
Lots of buttons…
Cooking, Frypans, ImageryNon-stick Frypan
A stuck non-stick frypan…
Imagery, ShopsBall-type Deodorant
Her: Is it the ball-type deodorant you want sir? Him: Oh no miss – it’s for under my arms!
Animals, Imagery, TurtlesYou’ll Never Be As Happy As This Turtle
You’ll never be as happy as this turtle.
America, Imagery, Nsa, Obama, Phones, SpyingObama: “Aww No! Both Of You Hang Up!”
Her: “Ok, you hang up.” Him: “No, you hang up.” Her: “Haha, no you hang up.” Obama: “Aww no! Both of you hang up!”
Imagery, SexistHair Dryer
Darling, please give me the hair dryer…
Cars, Dumbledore, Harry Potter, Imagery, PetrolExpecto Petroleum!
Expecto Petroleum!
Darth Vader, Imagery, Kristen StewartMore Expressions Than Kristen Stewart
Still more expressions than Kristen Stewart.
Imagery, LoveThis Summarises My Love Life
This summarises my love life. I’m the guy in blue…
Elderly, MemoryElderly Memories
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen…
Imagery, Jobs, WorkHonesty: Your Greatest Weakness
Interviewer: What would you consider to be your greatest weakness?
ImagerySound Thug
Sound Thug
Animals, Cats, Imagery, SignsHelp Cat Neds Air
Please don’t let the cat out. No matter what it tells you!
Imagery, Phones, SmsI Am Hungary
I am Hungary…
Army, WarAmerican Nun
A deserter GI was running down a road escaping from two MPs…
Computers, Imagery, InternetNew Mail
10 years ago…
Babies, ImagerySpot The Baby
Spot the baby. No, the other one.
Cars, Imagery, Movies, Pulp Fiction, The RockHave You Seen Pulp Fiction?
Have you seen Pulp Fiction? Yeah, but I didn’t like it.
Illusion, ImageryShake Your Head
Shake your head
Animals, ImagerySeven Sharks
If you own 7 cats then people will think you’re crazy…
ImageryAll Images
All Images
Imagery, Psychotherapists, TherapyHappy People
If you don’t see happy people, you need therapy!
ImageryTechnically Correct
…but still wrong.
WorkHow To Get A Day Off Work
How to get time off in the public service…
Animals, Drugs, ImageryFlying Ants
How ants began to fly…
Alcohol, Imagery, Irish, RacistIrish Yoga
Irish Yoga.
Imagery, RisquéPull Out & Save
Save up to $600!
Children, Parenting, SchoolLetter To A Mother / School Report
It is with great happiness that I’m telling you that I eloped with my new boyfriend…
Animals, Carrots, Food, Imagery, Rabbits, VegetablesSuccess Is Not Always What You See
Success is not always what you see…
Animals, JokeThe Dead Rabbit
The Dead Rabbit, aka The Worst Joke Ever…
Birds, Imagery, RavensWhere Have You Been All Weekend?
Where have you been all weekend? Out Raven.
Babies, ImageryResisting A Rest
If I refuse to nap… is that resisting a rest?
Animals, Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, OttersFilthy Hobitses
Filthy Hobitses
Imagery, Mafia, RecruitersRecruiters Are One Step Above The Mafia
Recruiters are one step above the Mafia…
Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryDear Dog
Dear Dog… a letter from the cat.
Animals, Dogs, ImageryDog Queue
Sometimes, even dogs have to queue…
Alcohol, Animated, Fire, Imagery, Racist, Russia, SneezingIn Russia People Sneeze Fire
In Russia people sneeze fire after drinking lots of vodka.
Imagery, MoviesNeville
Neville would have done it in four books.
Animals, Dogs, ImagerySo We Got Pugsy A New Chew Toy…
So we got Pugsy a new chew toy…
PoliticalBush And The Queen
While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen…
Charts, Computer Games, Imagery, Pacman, Pie ChartsPacman Pie Chart
The Pacman pie chart.
Imagery, WorkNothing To Do
In case of nothing to do, break glass and then sweep up broken glass.
BabiesA Baby’s Laughter Is One Of The Most Beautiful Sounds You’ll Ever Hear
A baby’s laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you’ll ever hear. Unless it’s 3 AM, you’re home alone, and you don’t have a baby.
Beer, ImagerySix Die In Horror Smash
Six Die in Horror Smash.
Anatidaephobia, Animals, Ducks, ImageryAnatidaephobia
Anatidaephobia is the fear that somewhere in the world, there is a duck watching you.
Acid, Animals, Cats, Cocaine, Coffee, Drugs, Heroin, Imagery, Marijuana, Mushrooms, Shrooms, WeedDrug Cats
An illustrated cat-guide to drugs…
Africa, Bus, ImageryDo You Ever Get So Angry…
Do you ever get so angry… you throw a VCR at a burning bus?
Aztecs, Imagery, Mayans, OreosMayan, Aztec And Oreos
Mayan, Aztec and Oreos…
Parties, WatchesNot On My Watch
Lost my watch at a party once…
Imagery, SexistRealistic Remotes
Some more useful remote controls we would like to see.
Animals, Crocodiles, Crocs, ImageryMother Croc
Look how instinctively the mother croc carries the baby in its mouth.
Imagery, WifiWireless Networks
Wireless networks could save your life!
Imagery, SportHandegg
Football versus Handegg: It’s not football…
Halloween, Imagery, Pumpkins, VegetablesAngry Pumpkin Man
Angry Pumpkin Man: Come at me bro!
ShoppingGrocery Shopping On An Empty Stomach
Accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I’m the proud owner of aisle 4.
ImageryKermit Sees The Doctor
Have a seat Kermit. What I’m about to tell you might come as a big shock…
Animals, Animated, ImageryLesson Of The Day
You should never do anything wrong, it will catch up with you…
Fortune Cookies, ImageryYou Are Not Illiterate.
You are not illiterate.
Alcohol, Food, Imagery, VodkaVodka Diet: Lose 3 Days In 1 Week
Vodka Diet: Lose 3 Days in 1 Week.
Animals, Cats, ImageryCat Bag
It’s a cat bag. Not too sure what else to say about this…
Imagery, Jobs, WorkThings Don’t Really Change
Interviewer: What would you consider to be your greatest weakness?
Animals, Crocodiles, ImageryCrocodile Lion
An interesting dinnertime story…
Bsod, Geeky, Microsoft, WindowsBSOD: Blue Screen Of Death
The dreaded blue screen of death…
Animals, Imagery, LlamaA Shaved Llama
A shaved Llama
Imagery, RisquéDon’t Fall For This
The CIA is trying to steal my…
Australia, Bank Notes, Banks, Imagery, Money, PoliticalAustralian Bank Notes
Australian Bank Notes.
PhrasesWhen Someone Yells “STOP”…
When someone yells “STOP”, I never know if it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammertime, or I should collaborate and listen…
Animals, Halloween, Imagery, SquirrelsHalloween Squirrel
A squirrel got its head stuck in a Halloween decoration and terrified a neighbourhood…
Computers, Geeky, It, Technology101 Things You Do Not Want...
101 Things You Do Not Want Your System Administrator to say.
Marriage, SexistSecrets To A Happy Marriage
Secrets to a Happy Marriage…
Money, SexistFemale Financial Planning
Women are so much better at financial planning than men.
MedicalSeek And Find You…
I shall seek and find you…
Australia, PoliticalCostello’s Reward For Being Loyal
Costello’s reward for being loyal…
Animals, Dogs, ImageryI Forgot How To Dog
I forgot how to dog
Imagery, PiracyPiracy Is Not Theft
Imagine your car gets stolen, but it’s still there in the morning.
Facebook, Imagery, Sexist, Sport, VolleyballLadies Beach Volleyball
Just been watching Ladies Beach Volleyball, and there’s already been a wrist injury… but I should be OK by Friday.
ImageryMichael Jackson's Dog
A rather mean impression of what Michael Jackson’s dog might look like, if it had similar surgery.
Disclaimer, Copyright & Contact Information
Feel free to send me anything you think might amuse me.
Brisbane, Imagery, Logan, Racist, WoodridgeSimba & Woodridge
But what about that shadowy place?
Dinosaurs, Imagery, Political, SpyingIf You’re Not Doing Anything Wrong, You Shouldn’t Have Anything To Hide
The government says “If you’re not doing anything wrong, you shouldn’t have anything to hide.” If that is true, shouldn’t the government declassify everything?
Cats, Imagery, MailboxesMailman Jumped 15 Feet
Mailman jumped 15 feet. Dog was right. This is fun.
Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery, SexistXBOX Girlfriend
A real girlfriend does not complain when her boyfriend is on his xbox…
Imagery, MilkLying About Skim Milk
There’s only one thing I hate more than lying. Skim milk, which is water that’s lying about being milk.
Animals, Cows, Horses, ImageryThis Guy’s An Idiot! Quick, Take A Picture!
This guy’s an idiot! Quick, take a picture!
Cars, ImagerySomething Wrong Officer?
Something wrong officer?
Imagery, Musicians, Rolling Stones, ZombiesZombies!
Zombies! Oh, wait… false alarm, it’s just the Rolling Stones… carry on!
Australia, Gillard, PoliticalPatriotic Retirement Plan
Ms Gillard’s Patriotic Retirement Plan.
Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryJust Being A Cat
Dog attacks person. Put dog to sleep. Cat attacks person. LOL, jus’ bein’ a cat.
Advertising, Billboards, ImageryThere Are Two Rules For Success
There are two rules for success: Never reveal everything you know…
Alcohol, Books, Imagery, WineBook Club
My book club only reads wine labels.
Imagery, RisquéFingering A Minor
Fingering A Minor for hours on my bed.
Babies, Court, Imagery, Jail, Judges3 Years In Jail For Stealing My Nose
3 years in jail for stealing my nose!
Animals, Cats, Ducks, Imagery, SeagullsCat Duck
The Amazing Cat Duck! Or perhaps Cat Seagull?
Animals, Imagery, WhalesThe Hey Whale
The Hey Whale. It defies description.
Imagery, RisquéAdult Dog Store
A dog carries an inflatable leg from an Adult Dog Store.
Animated, Flash, Geeky, ImageryL33t H4x0r R0m30 4nd Jul13t
Tales for the L33T - ROMEO+JULIET
Evolution, ImageryEvolution: Stop Following Me!
The typical “evolution of man” poster, except the man is facing his “earlier ancestors” saying “Stop following me!”
Imagery, SocksThe Divorce Rate Among My Socks Is Astonishing.
The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.
Animals, Animated, Dogs, Imagery, TonguesDog Tongue
A dog with a very long tongue.
Imagery, PhonesJack’s Phone
Why aren’t you answering…?
Campervans, Camping, Cars, ImageryNot A Happy Camper
Not a Happy Camper.
Computer Games, Imagery, MarioIt’s A-me, Mario!
Mario emerging from a drainpipe.
Food, Imagery, ThymeToo Much Thyme On My Hands
I’ve got way too much tyme on my hands.
Food, ImageryBreakfast Alive
What happens if you wait too long before eating your breakfast?
Geology, Imagery, SchoolGeology
Name the three types of rock.
Comments & Other Similar Social Data
Comments, Facebook Open Graph, & Other Similar Social Data.
Apple, Imagery, Ios, Ios6, TransportApple IOS6 Maps
For the benefit of passengers using Apple iOS6, local area maps are available from the booking office.
ImagerySense
…this picture makes none.
Africa, Apple, Imagery, Ipad, StarvingThinner Than Ever
Thinner than ever.
Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, SexistDream Girl
Girl on beach with six breasts.
Geeky, InternetDiary Of An AOL Luser
Diary of an AOL Luser.
Archaeology, Canada, Cars, Imagery, SnowCanadian Archaeology
Canadian Archaeology: Digging a car out from under the snow
Bikes, Imagery, NoticesBicycles Chained To These Railings Will Be Removed Without Notice.
Bicycles chained to these railings will be removed without notice. This is a notice, you idiot!
Australia, Chillis, Food, Racist, TexasAn Australian Chilli Tester In Texas…
An Australian chilli tester in Texas…
Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryAnimals That Didn’t Expect Their Humans To Come Home So Early!
Animals that didn’t expect their humans to come home so early!
Germany, LoveTell Someone You Love Them Today
Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But shout it at them in German, because life is also terrifying and confusing.
Animals, Beaches, Imagery, Signs, Stingrays, WarningsShuffle Your Feet For Stingrays
Shuffle your feet for Stingrays: One of the many dangers in Australian waters.
ImageryHard To Pay Fine
Touching wires causes instant death…
Animals, Imagery, Spiders, ZombiesZombie Apocalypse Spider
I laugh at your claims to bravely take on a zombie apocalypse, when most of you can’t stand up to a spider.
Bread, Food, Imagery, TonguesPlease Use Tongue.
Do not touch bread with hands. Please use tongue.
Accidents, Cars, Imagery, TargetMissed Target
Missed Target: So close…
GeekySpellcheck Not Needed
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy…
Children, Imagery, PaintChildren Painting
Two children, half a room and a TV covered in white paint.
Animals, Cats, Imagery, Mayans, PredictionsWorst Apocalypse Ever
[A grumpy cat the day the Mayan calendar ended] “Still Here. Worst Apocalypse Ever.”
Animals, Cats, Egyptians, Hieroglyphics, ImageryAncient Egyptians: Posting Cats To Their Walls Since 3150 BC
Ancient Egyptians: Posting cats to their walls since 3150 BC
ToysThe Horror Of Blimps
Some blimps are better off dead…
SexistEx Wife
The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my ex-wife…
Fonts, Imagery, Running, Sport, Usain BoltUsain Bold, Usain Italic
Usain Bolt: Usain Bold, Usain Italic.
EnglishThe Gender Neutral Term For Sugar Daddy
The gender neutral term for sugar daddy is glucose guardian.
Animals, Imagery, SealsSeal This Opening
I was told to seal this opening, so here I am.
Australia, Buses, Explosions, Imagery, InalaSorry For Party Rocking
Sorry for Party Rocking: Driver jumps from burning bus, party bus explodes in Inala.
Cars, Imagery, Italy, Racist, Risqué25 Year Old Escort
But Mr. Berlusconi, you said, “Send a 25 years old escort to my villa!”
Cars, ImagerySideways Car
It’s a little confusing…
SexistMars Vs. Venus
Mars versus Venus…
English, GrammarYour There
They’re they are.
Aliens, ImageryFunniest Alien Fan Art I’ve Seen
Funniest Alien Fan Art I’ve Seen.
Animals, Dogs, ImageryI See What You Did There
I see what you did there… also, over here…
Einstein, Imagery, Phones, TechnologyThe Day Einstein Feared
The day that Einstein feared may have finally arrived.
Animals, Beavers, Birds, Cats, Dogs, Fish, Frogs, Horses, Imagery, Puns, Rabbits, ZebraPunny Animals
Who ever invented the “knock-knock jokes” should get a no-bell prize!
Imagery, Signs, WarningsThrew Caution To The Wind
Looks like someone threw caution to the wind.
Food, ImageryPeanut Delivery
Peanut Delivery…
Geeky, Imagery, Scientific, UniversityHow People In Science See Each Other
How People in Science See Each Other.
Australia, Coronavirus, Political, Politicians, Scott MorrisonConfirmed Case Of Corona
Hey babe, just thought you should know there’s a confirmed case of corona in our neighbourhood…
Alcohol, Holidays, Imagery, WineHoliday Workout
Holiday Workout: Three corkscrews.
Animated, Babies, Fireworks, ImageryFirst Time Seeing Fireworks
A baby sees fireworks for the first time.
Animals, Australia, Dropbears, Imagery, KoalasDrop Bears – Department Of Dangerous Fauna Management
Dropbears are a very real danger to all Australians. Almost one in ten Australians has been attacked by a Dropbear, and the rate is even higher for foreign visitors. Don’t become another statistic. Always beware low branches and doorframes. Look up. Stay Alive.
Imagery, Memory, Protests, RalliesBetter Memory
What do we want? Better memory! When do we want it? Want what?
Coronavirus, Imagery, Video Conferencing, Work, ZoomCoronavirus Zoom Conference
Zoom Conference: Can everyone hear me?
Diving, Imagery, Sharks, Sign LanguageA Signal They Forgot To Teach You In Your Open Water Class.
Big shark behind you: A signal they forgot to teach you in your open water class.
Australia, Bbq, Cooking, Food, SexistBarbecue Etiquette
Aussie Barbecue Season.
Cars, ImageryCar Alarms
Car alarms: They piss me off!
Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, VintageDormeyer Crying Wives
Wives: Look this ad over carefully. Circle the items you want for Christmas. Show it to your husband. If he does not go to the store immediately, cry a little…
Cars, Drugs, Imagery, PoliceHow High Are You?
How High Are You? No Officer, it’s “Hi, how are you”.
America, Canada, RacistU.S. Ship Versus Canadian
U.S. Ship versus Canadian.
Autocorrect, Imagery, Iphone, SmsBroken Penis
I broke my penis and it exploded all over my pants.
Imagery, SexistDifference Between Men And Women
The difference between men and women…
Animals, Books, Dolphins, Imagery, LibrariesTo Punch A Dolphin In The Mouth
5 very good reasons to punch a dolphin in the mouth.
ImageryMcDonald’s Reaches Africa
McDonald’s reaches Africa.
ImageryBest Way To Freak Out Your Friends
Best way to freak out your friends: Do not open unless you plan to kill it (written on an upside down container)
Animated, Chris Coutts, Flash, Imagery, No Effort OnlineChris Coutts: No Effort Online: What Does Suxor Mean?
Chris Coutts: No Effort Online flash animations
Apple, Bill Gates, Computers, Heaven, Imagery, Microsoft, Phones, Religious, Steve Jobs, WindowsSteve Jobs & Bill Gates Discuss Heaven
Steve Jobs & Bill Gates Discuss Heaven: It doesn’t have any wall or fence…
Harry Potter, Imagery, Magic, Risqué, WandsReplace The Word “wand” With “dick” In Any Sentence In Harry Potter
Replace the word “wand” with “dick” in any sentence in Harry Potter…
Cars, Imagery, Irish, RacistIrish Car
An advertisement in an Irish Newspaper…
Advertising, Imagery, Skype, VintageSkype
Vintage Skype advert.
Australia, New Zealand, RacistAn Aussie Taxidermist In New Zealand…
An Aussie Taxidermist in New Zealand…
Computers, GeekyUnix Commands
Amusing UNIX commands.
Imagery, Risqué, SexistThe Lift
A man and woman meet outside an elevator door…
Imagery, Odin, PoliticalVote Odin
The left wing said they’d abolish poverty; right wing said they’d abolish bureaucracy. Odin said he’d abolish ice giants. Where are the ice giants? Vote Odin!
SexistA Love Story With A Happy Ending
Once upon a time, a bloke asked a girl “Will you marry me?”
Marriage, Religious, Sexist, WivesGood & Obedient Wives
And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world…
Imagery, Livestream, Nature, TechnologyLive Stream
Can I call you back? I’m watching a live stream…
Bags, Imagery, ShoppingI’ll Be Bag
A bag titled “I’ll Be Bag”
Canada, RacistAn Ontarian Wanted To Become A Newfie…
An Ontarian wanted to become a Newfie…
Animals, Elephants, Imagery, RisquéElephant Upskirt
Elephant Upskirt.
Bananas, Cars, Food, ImageryGet In The Banana
No time to explain. Get in the banana!
Chewing Gum, Imagery, WarningsDo Not Swallow Chewing Gum
Warning: Do not swallow chewing gum!
Imagery, RedneckRedneck Ingenuity
Redneck Ingenuity: Shoes for tyres.
Cold, Flu, Illness, Imagery, Man Flu, SexistMan Flu
The difference between men & women when they are sick.
Alcohol, Animals, Dogs, Imagery, Skateboards, Smoking, WineBad Dog Is Banned From The Park
I don’t know who this dog is or why he is banned from this park, but he certainly seems like a lot of fun.
English, Grammar, ImageryComforting A Grammar Nazi
When comforting a grammar nazi, I always say softly, “there, their, they’re”
America, Guns, Imagery, Police, RacistAnd I Was All Like, Pew Pew Pew!
And I was all like, pew pew pew! Pew pew pew! ‘Merica!
Imagery, RelationshipsA Woman Hid Under The Bed
To see her husband’s reaction, a woman wrote on a paper: “I left, I’m not coming back.” Hidden under the bed, the woman waited for her husband to arrive. He walked into the room, saw the paper, wrote something on the paper, and put himself to sing, all satisfied. 5 minutes later, he took his cell phone and called someone: “I’m going now. The other nut’s gone. I’m on my way, remember I love you so much” He took the car and left. Mad in anger, the woman comes out under the bed and reads what he wrote… “I can see your feet. I went for bread. Stop being retarded and make dinner…”
Bananas, Fruit, ImageryAppealing Attire
I find this attire… appeeling.
ImageryAlzheimer’s
“I may have alzheimer’s, but at least I don’t have alzheimer’s”
Cars, Imagery, MoviesDiesel
Hey, wanna know what I put in my car?
SexistPerfect Riddle
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met…
Cars, ImageryAbove The Law Like A Boss
Above the law like a boss: removing a wheel clamp.
Babies, Imagery, InstructionsBaby Instructions
Some useful instructions to keep baby alive and well…
Funerals, Imagery, Italian, RacistThe Italian Funeral
Pasquale died. His will provided ,000 for an elaborate funeral…
GrammarI. Like. It. How. When. You. Read. This. The. Little. Voice. In. Your. Head. Takes. Pauses.
I. Like. It. How. When. You. Read. This. The. Little. Voice. In. Your. Head. Takes. Pauses.
Animals, Imagery, RisquéHow To Eat Pussy…
How to eat pussy…
Animals, Imagery, Internet, RabbitsStop Surfing The Internet And Just Go To Bed
Holy crap! Look how late it is! Why do I always do this? Why is it so hard to stop surfing the internet and just go to bed?
Imagery, Posters, ScienceLost Wormhole
Do not attempt capture because you’ll totally screw with the space/time continuum bro.
Imagery, PhonesPhone Tails
That’s right dear, our ancestors had tails.
English, GrammarEnglish
Let’s face it - English is a crazy language.
Animals, Imagery, Languages, Latin, PigsPig Latin
Pig Latin…
Facebook, Imagery, NewspapersReal Life Facebook
I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles…
RisquéThe Hypnotist
It was entertainment night at the senior centre and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill…
Animals, Animated, Hamsters, ImageryHamster Flying
How to make your hamster fly…
Great Expectations, ImageryGreat Expectations
Who hurt you? My own expectations.
Imagery, Movie Posters, PiranhasPiranhas On An Escalator
If I were you, I’d take the stairs…
Foot Smart
See if you can outsmart your foot…
RacistOnly In America...
Only in America…
Energy Drinks, Geeky, Imagery, Rubiks CubesMonster Energy Drinks & Rubiks Cubes
Monster energy drinks & Rubiks Cubes: Dude. You have a problem. Problem solved!
English, Grammar, Imagery, School, TeachersGrammar Vandal
When English teachers snap: Sorry Ma’am, but bad grammar is no excuse for vandalism.
Comics, Dancing, Imagery, Ireland, Irish, Irish DanceThe Book Of Irish Dance: Volume Two
Whilst doing a long overdue clearout at the offices of Ireland’s oldest and most respected school of dance, Mrs O’Hara made a terrible discovery…
Football, Relationships, Sexist, SportThe Loving Husband
A man had two of the best tickets for the opening State of Origin match. As he sits down, another man comes along and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him…
ImagerySpring Is Just Around The Corner
Finally… Spring is just around the corner.
Beer, Imagery, RacistHow People From Around The World Open Beer
People from around the world opening beer in their own unique ways.
Chocolate, Geeky, Homes, Honey, Imagery, Milk, PhonesQuite Literally…
I phone, you tube. Hi honey, I’m home. Chocolate milk shake.
Chinese, Imagery, Racist, Tattoos, WomenIf Chinese People Tattooed Lame English Words On Themselves…
If Chinese people tattooed lame English words on themselves…
Cars, ImageryPolished My Car Too Much
Polished my car too much, now it’s invisible…
Bmw, Cars, Imagery, WorkBrand New BMW
The owner of the company where I work pulled up in his brand new BMW this morning…
Horror MoviesIf You Are Lonely, Dim All Lights
If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you’re alone anymore.
RisquéMickey Mouse
One day, Mickey Mouse decided that he wanted a divorce…
America, Democracy, PoliticalHow To Know When You’ve Met A Democrat
Just in case you have trouble knowing when you’ve met a Democrat…
Advertising, Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Phones, TechnologyIPhone 10 – The Tallest IPhone Yet
A mock-up of the iPhone 10, after the launch of the “taller” iPhone5.
Animals, ImageryCat Legs
There really isn’t much else to say about this.
ImageryStatistics That Matter: The Pie Chart
A new take on the traditional pie… chart.
Advertising, Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Phones, Samsung, Samsung Galaxy, TechnologyApple IPhone 20 & Samsung Galaxy S23 – Sword & Shield
A mock-up of the iPhone 20 and Samsung Galaxy S23, after the launch of the “taller” iPhone5 & the larger Galaxy S3.
Illusion, ImageryWhat Kind Of Sorcery Lets These Two Blocks Be The Same Color?
One is dark, one is light. One is gray, one is white. These are obviously two different blocks with two different colors right? Wrong. The two blocks are the same color.
ImageryProblem Solving Flowchart
A simple, and humorous, flowchart that successfully troubleshoots almost any problem you can think of.
Animals, Eggs, Giraffes, ImageryGiraffe Egg
Giraffe Egg.
Animals, Chocolate, Easter, Easter Bunnies, Imagery, RabbitsJust Some Bunny That I Used To Know
Now you’re just some bunny that I used to know.
Australia, Cars, Ghosts, Pub, Storm, SupernaturalA True Australian Ghost Story
This story happened a short while ago near Brisbane, and even though it sounds a little Alfred Hitchcock… it’s (supposedly) true.
Flash, ImagerySteady Hand – A Game Of Skill
A game of skill, requiring a steady hand and keen eye – make sure you play at least the first two levels…
Computers, ImageryInsert Disk Two
Please insert disk two.
Joke, MathMath Problem
John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now?
Animals, ImageryWireless Technology
“It is a bit freaky with this wireless technology”
Animals, Dieting, DogsPurina Diet
The Purina Pet Food Diet.
Blonde, SexistA Young Brunette Goes To The Doctor...
A young brunette goes to the doctor…
Aeroplanes, Buses, Cars, Electricity, Firefighters, Imagery, VaccinesRe-Think Vaccines
Next time someone tells you to re-think vaccines, show them this.
Communist, Computer Games, Geeky, ImageryA Case In Communism: The Super Mario Story
A Case in Communism: The Super Mario Story.
Animals, Dogs, Imagery, Phones, SmsTexts From My Dog
My dog sends me texts…
Geeky, ItDeclaration Of A Software Professional
Declaration of a Software Professional.
RacistFerrari Sack Pit Crew
The Ferrari Formula 1 Team fired their entire pit crew yesterday…
Alcohol, Beer, Imagery, WineIn Wine There Is Truth
In Wine there is Truth. In Beer there is Strength. In Water there is Bacteria.
Animals, ImageryNot Allowed
When a dog is all out of luck.
Evolution, Imagery, ZombiesZombie Evolution
The evolution of Zombies
Jokes, RisquéWhere Is Amanda’s Husband?
Amanda is 21 years older than her son John. In 6 years from now, Amanda will be 5 times as old as John…
Animated, Australia, Imagery, Internet, Political, TelstraBuilding The NBN From Telstra Copper
Building the NBN from Telstra Copper
PoliticalLabel Instructions
French Label Instructions
Aboriginal, Australia, Gay, RacistAboriginal Jobs
At the end of a tiny, deserted bar is a huge Aboriginal bloke…
Imagery, Injuries, Sexist, SportMen & Women In Sport
Women: No problem girls… I can go on. Men: Ahhhh! I’m dying.
Clouds, Computers, Imagery, TechnologyWhat Are Clouds Made Of?
Daddy, what are clouds made of?
Cars, Imagery, PoliceMisleading The Public
$100 for speeding and $250 for misleading the public…
Animals, Cars, Donkeys, ImageryA BMW Donkey
A BMW donkey. Not much more to be said really.
April Fools, Imagery, Pizza, Salad, WorkThis Is How Workplace Violence Starts
This is how workplace violence starts…
RisquéTest Your Subconscious
This revolutionary test will expose the secret desires from your subconscious…
WorkExecutive Test
The following short quiz consists of four questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a “professional”…
Animals, Cats, ImageryCat In A Cat Box
A cat in a Cat box.
Animals, Apples, Cats, Imagery, MathSeven Cats
If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?
Guns, ImageryThe Last Known Picture Taken Of Grandpa
A woman inadvertently points a gun towards a man.
Illusion, ImageryAfterburn - Whom Do You See?
Relax and concentrate on the four small dots in the middle of the picture…
Australia, PoliticalPsalm 2009 – 2012
The First Book of Government.
ImageryEmoticons
Lots of emoticons…
Animals, Dogs, Imagery, Werewolves, WolvesAware Wolf
A werewolf. A wearwolf. A warewolf. Aware wolf.
SexistGuts Or Balls?
We’ve all heard about men having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them?
Animals, Art, Bananas, Carving, Food, Horses, ImageryBanana Carving
Banana Carving.
Geeky, Imagery, Sexist, WomenHazardous Materials Data Sheet – Woman
Hazardous Materials Data Sheet – Woman.
Mayans, PredictionsMayans Predicting The Future
Calm down… If the Mayans were good at predicting the future, there would still be Mayans.
Babies, Imagery, PregnancyHow Babies Are Made
How babies are made (with an air pump).
Comics, ImageryHorton Hears The Who
Horton Hears the Who
WorkMergers
Amusing mergers.
Animals, Fish, Girls, ImagerySaved A Fish From Drowning
Here is a heart warming picture of a little girl that saved a fish from drowning.
Geeky, ImageryDelete Cookies
Delete cookies?!
Australia, Cricket, Imagery, VideoHow Cricket Looks To Most People
How Cricket Looks to Most People.
SexistEvening Classes For Men
Instructive evening classes for men…
Imagery, ScissorsI Run With Scissors
I run with scissors: It makes me feel dangerous.
Advertising, Imagery, Rice, Risqué, Sexist, VintageVa-Rice-Ity: My Man Likes Something Unexpected…
My man likes something unexpected now and then. That’s why I serve him rice.
Bras, Imagery, UnderwearSupport Bras
Supportive support bras…
Bananas, Food, George Bush, ImageryThis Banana Tastes Funny
“This banana tastes funny” – George Bush.
Accidents, Buses, Cars, Imagery, InsuranceDon’t You Suggest To Me What To Do
If you don’t have GIO Third Party Property Insurance, we suggest you don’t hit this bus.
Dishes, ImageryDishes
Dishes: They don’t do themselves.
Brooms, Imagery, Parking, Sexist, Witches, WomenWomen Can’t Park
Who said that women can’t park?
Animals, Bananas, Birds, Food, Imagery, ParrotsBanana Parrot Terrorism
A parrot eating bananas.
Animals, Elephants, ImageryIt’s Just One Of Those Days
A baby elephant falls in the mud.
Flowcharts, Imagery, SexistHow To Argue With A Woman
A flowchart.
Imagery, SexistWoman With PMS
Woman with PMS.
Computers, Imagery, Passwords, TechnologyNew Password Can’t Be Old Password
Enter password. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong…
Imagery, RisquéThe Exact Spot My Zipper Broke
The exact spot my zipper broke.
Imagery, Michael Jackson, Performers, SingersMichael Jackson Is Dead
You Can Come Out Now…
Imagery, WorkHorse Whisperer
A very amusing workplace complaint.
Boobs, SexistTen Things Men Know About Women
Ten things men know about women…
WorkPhysical Fitness
This department requires no physical fitness program.
Apple, Computers, Geeky, Linux, Mac, WindowsHow To Fix Any Computer
A comprehensive guide to fixing any computer.
Imagery, Movies, PiratesHorny Pirate’s Worst Nightmare
What’s a horny pirate’s worst nightmare?
Animals, Dogs, ImageryA Little Hand
I wish you could give me a little hand…
Imagery, SexistEscape From The Kitchen
You thought you could escape from the kitchen didn’t you?
Animated, Illusion, Imagery, Impossible Triangle, Penrose TrianglePenrose Triangle
Penrose Triangle Animation.
Imagery, NinjasNinja Exit
Ninja Exit Only
Imagery, Unicorns, Unicycles, UnitardsUnicorn, Unitard, Unicycle
Unicorn in a unitard on a unicycle.
Children, Grace, PrayersSix Year Old Praying
A mother invited some people to dinner…
Cars, Computer Games, ImageryLegend Of Zelda
A legend… of Zelda.
Cars, ImageryHonked At A Prius
Honked at a Prius, scared the crap out of it.
Animals, Camels, Children, Donkeys, ImageryYour Child Is Being Eaten By A Camel
Your child is being eaten by a camel. Do you… a) Save your child, or b) Take a photo?
Batman, Imagery, Superman, WonderwomanIt Is Such A Drag When Someone In The Group Can’t Fly…
It is such a drag when someone in the group can’t fly… forcing everybody else to have to ride up the elevator too…
Animals, Chickens, Chicks, ImageryHow To Pick Up Chicks
Instructional guide on how to pick up chicks.
Geeky, InternetGoogle
Try Google. Available in six of the world’s most common languages…
Cooking, Imagery, Smoke DetectorsWhat Smoke Detectors Warn You About
What smoke detectors warn you about.
Animals, Imagery, ZebrasZebra Crossing
Zebra Crossing…
Cars, Gardens, ImageryMajor Tom’s Ground Control
Major Tom’s Ground Control Lawn and Garden Management.
Imagery, Jobs, Pie Charts, Statistics, WorkChance Of Keeping Your Job If You’re Wrong More Than 75% Of The Time
Chance of keeping your job if you’re wrong more than 75% of the time.
Imagery, WaterThe Deadly Facts About Water
The Deadly Facts about Water
Political, ReligiousThe 10 Commandments
The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse or parliament…
Cars, Imagery, StickersF It
F-it
Coolers, Imagery, SexistIf A Man Says He Will Fix It, He Will
If a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months.
Birds, Imagery, WifiHe’s Got Wifi
Three birds sitting on a wire, a fourth sitting in mid air. He's got wifi.
Helpline, Imagery, Phones, YogaYoga Emergency Hotline
Yoga Emergency Hotline, how may I help you?
Boobs, Imagery, Sexist, WomenI Wish These Were Brains
Sexist, but contains breasts…
Drugs, Imagery, Meth, R2-d2, Robots, Star WarsMeth: Before & After
Meth: Before & After (or R2-D2 versus R2-FU).
Asian, Facebook, Imagery, RacistHumans Of Sunnybank
In Asia culture, it’s important for wife to trust husband and let him be the leader in the house. That’s why after I am married, I will always leave big decision to him – for example, choosing between buy me a Chanel for birthday or go sleep on sofa for a whole month instead.
Imagery, Sexist, Tv, WomenCooking Shows
If we watched cooking shows the way guys watch sports.
America, Imagery, Political, SpyingMy Computer Hard Drive Crashed. NSA Won’t Send Me Their Backup Copy.
My computer hard drive crashed. NSA won’t send me their backup copy.
Bananas, Carving, Food, Guns, Imagery, WeaponsBanana Gun
Banana gun…
Calendars, Comics, Imagery, MayansThe Mayan Calendar
I only had enough room to go up to 2012…
Boats, Imagery, IslandsBoat! Land!
Boat! Land!
Sexist, WomenWhen A Woman Says “what?”
When a woman says “what?”, it’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
America, Animated, Imagery, Obama, PoliticalThanks, Obama
Thanks, Obama.
Actors, Famous People, Imagery, Movie Stars, Robert De NiroRobert De Niro, De Faro
First Robert De Niro, then Robert De Faro.
Blogs, Grammar, Imagery, SpellingMisspelt Blog Post
You wouldn't think anyone reads my blog. I haven’t got a comment in weeks. Misspell something…
Flies, Ipad, NewspapersModern Newspapers
I was visiting my daughter last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper…
Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, Nokia, PhonesIPhone 5 Plus Versus Nokia 3310
iPhone 6 Plus versus Nokia 3310: Does it bend?
Engineering, Flowcharts, Geeky, ImageryEngineering Flowchart
Nothing duct tape and WD-40 can’t fix…
Animals, Cats, Glasses, ImageryBut These Are For Girls
But these are for girls… Holy Crap! I look fabulous!
Pages By Date
A list of all the pages, sorted by their last updated or creation dates.
SexistPunctuation Is Powerful.
Punctuation is powerful.
Geeky, ImageryReach Out
Reach Out!
RisquéTarzan Sex
When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex…
Coathangers, Imagery, WarningsDo Not Swallow Coathangers!
Caution: Do Not Swallow Coathangers!
Imagery, RacistHow To Be Black
How to be Black: An Instructional Book.
Animals, Australia, Cockatoos, Flies, Imagery, Kangaroos, Kookaburras, Magpies, Possums, Snakes, Spiders, SunburnTypically Australian Problems
Some typically Australian problems that other people don’t face.
DrugsGranny LSD
Boy asks his Granny, “Have you seen my pills labelled ‘LSD’?”
Animals, Bread, Dogs, Food, ImageryI’m Inbred!
I’m Inbred!
Advertising, Guns, Imagery, Revolvers, VintageIsn’t It Time You Gave Yourself A Christmas Gift?
Isn’t it time you gave yourself a Christmas Gift?
Cats, Comics, ImageryPop Out Of Bed
If people were meant to pop out of bed we’d all sleep in toasters.
Adelaide, Australia, Chairs, Disaster, Earthquake, ImageryThe 2011 Adelaide Earthquake
The 2011 Adelaide Earthquake: We will rebuild.
Angels, Imagery, Red Bull, SculpturesRed Bull Gives You Wings
Red Bull Gives You Wings.
Bogans, Imagery, Iphone, SpeakersBogan Bass
Bogan Bass: Yet somehow still better than Beats by Dr Dre.
Food, ImageryThrowing People
A tomato’s fear.
Chess, Feminists, Imagery, Sexist, WomenHow To Play Chess
How to Play Chess: Whites go first. The Queen must protect the King.
ImageryBefore Tweeting
In case of fire: Exit building before tweeting about it.
Illusion, ImageryThey See Us Rollin’
They See Us Rollin’… We Aren’t…
Facebook, ImageryBe The First Of Your Friends To Like This Post.
A post with a poster on it, “Be the first of your friends to like this post”.
Dogs, ImageryMy Dog Bailey Tried To Steal Stuff Out Of My Daughter’s Purse.
My dog Bailey tried to steal stuff out of my daughter’s purse. He got stuck and came over to me for help.
Apple, Computers, Flash, Geeky, Imagery, MacMacintosh
Mac Hater…
Imagery, Men, SexistMen Have Feelings Too!
Men have feelings too! For example, we feel hungry.
Animals, Bananas, Dogs, Food, ImageryBanana Dogs
Banana Dogs.
Facebook, Geeky, Imagery, InternetGoogle+ Versus Facebook
Google Plus versus Facebook
Geeky, Imagery, TechnologyBack-Up
Image of man backing-up with computer.
Animated, Geeky, Imagery, PhotoshopAdobe Photoshop CS6 Has Stopped Working
The realest photography struggle ever…
Dba, Geeky, Imagery, SqlDBA/SQL Humour
An SQL query walks into a bar, goes up to two tables and asks, “May I join you?”
Computers, Geeky, ItComputer Quotes
Computer quotes.
Risqué, Sexist, ViagraDealing With Hunger Pangs
A woman asks her partner at breakfast time, “Would you like some bacon and eggs a slice of toast and, maybe, some grapefruit juice and coffee?”
Computers, Geeky, ImageryKeyboards
Amusing Keyboards
Animals, Cats, Imagery, WorkI Used To Smile… Until I Worked Retail.
I used to smile… until I worked retail.
Cars, Imagery, RacingTimes Were Tough Before The GoPro
Times were tough before the GoPro…
Advertising, April Fools, Ikea, Imagery, Product Recalls, ToolsIKEA Product Recall
IKEA product recall advert on April Fools Day
Animals, Cupcakes, Food, Imagery, LemursA Lemur Who Has Discovered The Wondrousness Of Cupcakes For The Fist Time.
A lemur who has discovered the wondrousness of cupcakes for the fist time.
Accidents, Cars, ImageryPass With Care
Pass with care…
America, Imagery, Obama, PoliticalBarack Obama: What I Actually Do
Barack Obama: What I actually do.
Imagery, Marriage, Men, WomenMarriage Secrets Of Highly Successful Couples
Marriage secrets of highly successful couples.
Dinosaurs, Imagery, MuseumsTrannysaurus
Trannysaurus: You’re fired.
Blonde, SexistBlonde Betting
A very attractive blonde woman arrived at a Vegas casino…
Food, Imagery, Microwaves, ScienceNo Science In This Microwave
Food only. Absolutely no science in this microwave.
Animals, Cats, Ducks, Imagery, Robots, Sharks, VacuumsRobot Vacuum Cat Shark Duck Chase
Robot Vacuum Cat Shark Duck Chase.
Advertising, Gay, Imagery, Ovaltine, VintageTo Wake Up Gay In The Morning…
To wake up gay in the morning just try this at Bedtime Tonight!
Alcohol, Cooking, Imagery, WineCooking With Wine
I tried cooking supper with wine tonight. Didn’t go so well. After 5 glasses I forgot why I was even in the kitchen.
Australia, Banks, ImageryAustralian Banks
Australian Bank Logos.
100 Guidelines On Becoming An Evil Villain
World domination is everyone’s dream. It’s not a bad job really…
PoliticalPolitically Correct Primer
A politically correct primer.
Geeky, InternetAmusing Chat
Humour from the world of Internet Chat
Animals, Birds, Imagery, Missing Posters, Paper, Pigeons, PostersHave You Seen This Bird?
I met this bird by the tree near the library. We chilled for like, 5 minutes, & then without any warning he just flew away. We really hit it off. So if you see him, please let him know I miss him.
Imagery…and So It Was.
It’s a Bird! It’s a Plane!
Alcohol, ImagerySlimming Drink
You look so much better after a glass or two!
Computer Games, ImageryVideo Games Ruined My Life
Video games ruined my life. Good thing I have two more.
Imagery, JokeHow Many Alzheimer’s Patients Does It Take?
To get to the other side!
Food, ImageryLittle Green Balls Of Death
Little Green Balls of Death
Camping, Grammar, Imagery, TentsYou Can’t Run Through A Campground
You can’t run through a campground. You can only ran, because it’s past tents.
Out Of Breath
Dispatcher: Emergency Services, how may I help you?
Fire, Fire Extinguishers, ImageryFire Extinguisher Fire
Fire Extinguisher Fire: What do you do now?
Board Games, ImageryMarry Me
Scrabble Edition.
Clowns, Imagery, Risqué, Sex, WomenShe Made That Clown Extremely Happy
She made that clown extremely happy.
ImageryVegetative State
Vegetative State.
Animals, Cats, Egyptians, God, ImageryHow To Distract An Egyptian God
How to distract an Egyptian God
Cars, PoliceSpeed Camera
Speed camera revenge…
Cartoons, Food, ImageryChocolate Pudding
It’s four o’clock in the morning. Why on earth are you making chocolate pudding?
Animals, Computer Games, Games, Imagery, PhonesAngry Birds
Angry Birds attend Anger Management.
Aeroplanes, Imagery, Oceans, SubmarinesSubmarines In The Sky
Did you know that there are more planes in the sea than there are submarines in the sky?
Artists, Justin Bieber, MusiciansDear Justin Bieber Haters
I owe my life to Justin Bieber…
Crime, Police, ShootingThe Floor Is Still Wet
I have an interesting case here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped…
Animals, Dogs, ImageryA Dog Named Stay
I bought a dog once. Named him ‘Stay’…
Animals, Geckos, Trumpets, TrustYou Know What Doesn’t Grow Back, Susan? Trust!
You know what doesn’t grow back, Susan? Trust!
Animals, Imagery, Johnny Depp, Movie Stars, SpidersI’m Really Afraid Of Johnny Depp
Research shows that if you’re afraid of spiders, you’re more likely to find one in your bedroom. I’m really afraid of Johnny Depp.
Cosmetics, ImageryPapercut Locator
Papercut Locator.
Babies, Imagery, Kanye West, Kim Kardashian, Phones, Sms, Taylor Swift, TwitterYo I’m Happy For You And Imma Let You Finish But…
[Twitter] Taylor Swift: @KimKardashian @kanyewest Yo I’m happy for you and imma let you finish but Beyonce had one of the best labours of all time.
Computers, GeekyMicrosoft Lightbulb Jokes
Microsoft Lightbulb Jokes.
ImageryElephant Bone
…just to confuse future archaeologists.
Geeky, MusicWhat If The Beatles Had Been Computer Freaks?
What if the Beatles had been computer freaks?
Animals, Bears, Imagery, PenguinsDo One Brave Thing Today
Do one brave thing today… then run like hell!
SexistMen Vs. Women
Men versus women…
Animals, Imagery, Lightbulbs, Mice, Risqué, SexHow Many Mice Does It Take To Screw In A Lightbulb?
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Boobs, Imagery, RisquéBoob Staring
Shirt: Please tell your boobs to quit staring at my eyes.
Food, ImageryWurst Nightmare
Hi. I’m your wurst nightmare.
Animals, Animated, Giraffes, ImageryHidden Giraffe
If you stare at this picture long enough you should be able to see a giraffe…
Imagery, TvThinking Outside The Square
A sideways television.
Geeky, JokesIP Jokes
I’d tell you a UDP joke, but you may not get it.
Chat, Imagery, InternetChat Rooms
Chat Rooms – you never really know.
England, Imagery, UkAnarchy In The UK
Would you like some tea?
Batman, Imagery, WomenNana Nana Nana Batman!
Nana Nana Nana Batman!
Advertising, Boobs, Imagery, Sexist, VintageSabrina Projects
Sabrina demonstrates the world’s finest projection equipment…
The Poodle And The Leopard
Experience trumps youth.
Imagery, Shirts, TshirtsAttention Deficit Disorder
Ask me about my attention deficit disorder or pie or my cat. A dog. I have a bike. Do you like TV? I saw a rock. Hi.
Jewellery, Jokes, Puns, RingsSomeone Stole My Mood Ring
Someone stole my mood ring.
Christian, Imagery, Jewish, Muslim, RacistAn Atheist, A Jew, And A Christian Walk Into A Bar…
An atheist, a Jew, and a Christian walk into a bar…
ImageryMicrophone Eyes
Microphone Eyes.
ImageryPolice Station Toilet Stolen
Police Station Toilet Stolen… Cops have nothing to go on.
Bikes, Geeky, It, SexistAn IT Student Is Walking Along With His Bike…
An IT student is walking along with his bike…
Balls, Illusion, ImageryAll The Balls Are The Same Colour!
All the balls are the same colour — and that colour is brown
Animals, Harry Potter, Horses, ImageryWingardium Levi-horse-a
Wingardium levi-horse-a!
Imagery, PoliticalWill Be President For Food
Boy sitting next to sign “No Campaigning beyond This Point” holding sign “Will Be President for Food”.
Knock Knock, PolicePolice: Knock Knock
Police: Knock Knock. Me: Who is it? Police: It’s the police.
Comics, Education, ImageryUnused Diploma.
I’d like to return this. It’s unused. This is your diploma. Cash is fine.
Babies, Children, Daycare, Imagery, Logan, RacistLogan Daycare
Logan Daycare: Just for the whole day
Cars, Imagery, Roads, SignsTired? Powernap Now.
Tired? Powernap now.
Australia, Democracy, Imagery, Political, RisquéAmazing Holes
Amazing Holes from Around the World.
Elderly, Hearing Aids, ImageryExpensive Hearing Aid
A man was telling his neighbour, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.”
Imagery, RisquéPremature Ejaculators Anonymous
Man stating he ‘came too soon’ in front of sign stating ‘premature ejaculators anonymous’.
Roadwork, Shovels, WorkersWe Forgot Our Shovels
A road crew foreman calls into the shop. Foreman: “We have a problem.”
English, VegetablesThe Correct Way To Spell Potato
The correct way to spell potato is “GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU”.
Imagery, PoliticalMad Magazine’s Boy Grows Up
The boy from Mad Magazine morphing into George Bush.
Religious, Risqué, WorkCorporate Lessons
Corporate lessons.
Fire, ImageryFire Distinguisher
Fire Distinguisher: Yep, that’s fire…
Alphabet, Doctors, ImageryThe Medical Alphabet
The Medical Alphabet
Balloons, Hot Air Balloons, ImageryHot Air Balloons
Hot Air Balloons - Boring 99% of the time.
JokeExercise - Some Facts
Exercise… some facts.
Olympics, Racist, SportAthens Olympic Soccer Stadium
The Athens Olympic Stadium…
Advertising, Cooking, Imagery, Sexist, VintageCook – That’s What Wives Are For!
The Chef does everything but cook – that’s what wives are for!
Animals, Imagery, SharksShark! What?
Shark! What?
Dalai Lama, Daleks, Dr Who, Imagery, Reincarnation, TvDalek Lama
Reincarnate! Reincarnate!
Imagery, PoliceA Cop Just Pulled Me Over And Said “Papers”
A cop just pulled me over and said “Papers”… so I said “Scissors, I win” and drove off…
Apple, Computers, Decals, Imagery, Laptops, Mac, Macbook, Stickers, TechnologyCreative Apple MacBook Stickers
A collection of creative Apple MacBook stickers & decals.
Animals, Cats, Imagery, KittensNo Sitz
I be here!
Food, Imagery, PizzaI Just Burned 1500 Calories In About Five Minutes
I just burned 1500 calories in about five minutes. I forgot the pizza was in the oven.
Geeky, Imagery, InternetYour Computer Is Broadcasting Your IP...
Your computer is broadcasting your IP over the Internet…
Animals, Business, Dogs, ImageryAssistant Branch Manager
The Branch Manager and the Assistant Branch Manager.
Imagery, SexistHow Could You Be So Insensitive?
How Could You Be So Insensitive? This is what it looks like from the other person’s perspective.
Imagery, RisquéToo Long
Her: Do you want to her a joke about my vagina? Nevermind… you’ll never get it! Her: Do you want to her a joke about my vagina? Nevermind… you’ll never get it!
Australia, Games, Imagery, ReligiousThanks God
God and the Rubiks Cube…
Animals, Birds, Imagery, Owls, RegretsRegrets
I stay up late every night, and realise it’s a bad idea every morning.
Advertising, Imagery, Motorola, Tv, VintageTelevision Benefits Your Children
How television benefits your children.
Imagery, Israeli, Palestinian, Political, RacistIsraeli Settlers
Of course we want peace–this piece and this piece and this piece and this piece…
Australia, Imagery, Racist, Tintin, WynnumThe Adventures Of TinTin: TinTin In Wynnum
The Adventures of TinTin: TinTin in Wynnum.
Africa, Animals, Cars, Elephants, ImageryYou Know You Are Having A Bad Day When…
You know you are having a bad day when…
Dyslexia, Imagery, Sex, Shirts, TshirtsI Have Sex Daily
I have sex daily! I mean dyslexia! Fcuk.
Birth Control, Imagery, RisquéEffective Birth Control
The most effective birth control method known to man.
Apple, Imagery, Ios, PatentsOlden Day Slide To Unlock
Slide to unlock: Apple patent #1964022.
Accidents, Cars, ImagerySorry: A Bus Accident
Sorry: A Bus Accident
Fruit, Grapes, ImageryBeware The Grapes Of Wrath
Beware the Grapes of Wrath.
Imagery, Tools, Work, ZombiesIn Case Of Zombies
In case of zombies… or yard work…
Doorbells, Imagery, Logan, RacistLogan Doorbell
To ring door bell, connect wires.
Imagery, ToiletsPeeing: Expert Mode
Peeing: Expert Mode
Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, Sexist, WorkJob Application
Sexist job application.
Animals, Cows, ImageryA Cow Getting A Back Scratch
A cow getting a back scratch.
ImagerySmile
Smile…
Medical, RisquéBetter Than A Flu Shot
Better than a Flu Shot
RisquéSanta’s Stressful Christmas
Santa’s Stressful Christmas
Animals, Imagery, SlugsFeeling Sluggish
I’ve been feeling a bit sluggish…
Computer Games, Geeky, Imagery, TechnologyCombo Hit: Streetfighter Style
Combo Hit: Streetfighter Style
Imagery, RisquéAncient Japanese Proverb
Ancient Japanese Proverb. If you cannot understand Japanese, tilt your head to the right…
Balloons, Birthdays, ImageryBalloons Are So Weird…
Balloons are so weird… “Happy Birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath”
ImageryLow Battery Warning
Plug in or find another power source. Or panic now!
Blacks, Imagery, RacistBlacks For Sale
They can still do that?
Australia, Imagery, Logan, RacistAll Trades Logan
All Trades Logan.
Animals, Dogs, Drugs, High, ImageryDog, How High Are You?
Dog, how high are you? Yes.
Daleks, Dr Who, Food, Garlic, Imagery, TvGarlek
Garlek.
Babies, Imagery, PregnancyPregnancy Tips
Some useful pregnancy tips…
SexistMen’s Rules
We always hear the rules from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side…
Browsers, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, WindowsFirefox Has Encountered…
…an unexpected problem with Windows.
Children, ParentingWhy Parents Drink
Why parents drink.
Imagery, KnittingWinter Knitting
What are you going to knit this winter?
Animals, Bunnies, Imagery, RabbitsEmo Bunny
Emo bunny: No one ever understands him
Imagery, RisquéHebrew Cave Paintings
Written across the wall of the cave were the following symbols…
SexistMen Are Happier
Men are Happier: What do you expect from such simple creatures?
ImageryMarketing
Marketing…
Animals, Irish, RacistIrish Pets
Two Irish men walk into a pet shop…
Imagery, New Years, ResolutionsNew Year’s Resolutions – Again
New Year’s Resolutions – Again
Alcohol, Goon, Imagery, Logan, Police, RacistLargest Goon Bust In Logan’s History
Logan police in conjunction with the A.F.P. hauled in the largest goon bust in Logan’s history. With an estimated street value of $39.
Geeky, ImageryIPad Stone
iPad versus a stone.
Mechanics, UnderwearAlways Wear Underwear
Always wear underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle…
Harry Potter, Imagery, SmsMaster Has Presented Dobby With Clothes! Dobby Is Free!
Well I’m grounded. WTF did you do this time? My Mum asked me to do the laundry and threw a sock at me… I ran away screaming “Master has presented Dobby with clothes! Dobby is free!”
Imagery, Steve IrwinDoesn’t Protect From Harmful Rays
Puts on sunblock. Doesn’t protect from harmful rays.
Drugs, Food, ImageryEminem Drug Bust
Eminem Drug Bust.
Animals, Antelopes, ImageryDid You Know There Is A Species Of Antelope Capable Of Jumping Higher Than The Average House?
Did you know there is a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house? This is due to its powerful hind legs and the fact that the average house cannot jump.
America, Guns, RacistWhat Do You Call A Gun Enthusiast?
You may have heard on the news about a Southern California man who was put under 72-hour psychiatric observation when it was found he owned 100 guns and allegedly had 100,000 rounds of ammunition stored in his home…
Geeky, InternetUsing AOL? Mind If We LOL?
Using AOL? Mind if we LOL?
Geeky, Imagery, Movies, Star WarsStar Wars
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…
Animals, Chickens, Eggs, Imagery, SignsBoneless Chicken
Boneless Chicken
Cpr, First Aid, Imagery, SchoolCPR Diagram
You’re next!
Buffering, Buffy, Imagery, TvBuffy Buffering
Buffy buffering…
Computers, Geeky, Imagery, Internet Explorer, Mac, WindowsCan Your Mac Do This?
Can your Mac do this? I don’t think so…
Alligators, Animals, Crocodiles, Imagery, TurtlesTurtle Cavalry
Onward, alligator steed!
Feminists, Imagery, Lightbulbs, Sexist, WomenHow Many Feminists Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Don’t be silly, feminists can’t change anything!
Animals, Cats, Imagery, SmsCat Facts
Thanks for signing up for Cat Facts!
Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, Shoes, VintageWhere She Belongs
Keep her where she belongs…
Political, RisquéHillary Clinton Goes To Her Doctor For A Physical…
Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical…
Cars, ImageryGarage Door Covers
Amusing garage door covers
Facebook, Imagery, RisquéFacebook Sex
Taking status updates too far.
RisquéTemptation
Temptation, by a soon to be married man.
Animals, Cats, Imagery, LionsA Cat With A Lion’s Mane Hat
A cat with a lion’s mane hat.
Geeky, ImageryOhm
…ohm.
Fifteen Things To Do At The Supermarket…
Fifteen things to do at the supermarket while your spouse is taking their sweet time…
Fans, ImageryThank You To All My Fans
Thank you to all my fans
WorkRejection Response
The next time you get a rejection letter from a hoped-for employer or publisher, just send them the following…
Imagery, Winnie The PoohPooh Everywhere
Watch your step, there’s pooh everywhere!
ImageryFight Apathy
…or don’t.
Political, RacistLetter To America
Letter to America
Animated, Illusion, ImageryTwo Person Optical Illusion
Optical illusion: Keep your eyes on the cross, and see what happens.
Homeless, SexistSledgehammer Psychology
A business man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner…
PoliticalAbbott And Costello Go To Washington
Abbott And Costello Go To Washington.
Illusion, ImageryTwelve Or Thirteen?
Wait until the group changes position. Is it twelve or thirteen?
Beaches, Imagery, Irish, SunbathingIrish Girl Sunbathing
An Irish girl sunbathes…
PoliticalMerry Christmas & A Happy New Year
Merry Christmas & A Happy New Year.
Aboriginal, Australia, Imagery, Racist, The RockStolen Generator
So I heard about the stolen generation…
Imagery, Risqué, SupermanSuper Boner
Super-boner: A super problem.
Fish, ImageryThe Swordfish
The swordfish has few predators to worry about in the wild, except for the seldom seen penfish which is said to be even mightier.
SchoolThe History Of The World
The History of the World, as written by the next generation…
Australia, Cars, Floods, Imagery, MechanicalDunno Mate, Maybe She’s Flooded?
Dunno mate, maybe she’s flooded?
Imagery**** I Forgot To Turn Off The Oven
**** I forgot to turn off the oven.
Animals, Drugs, Imagery, RabbitsHigh Rabbits
Two rabbits getting high on marijuana.
Girls, Imagery, Moon, Photography, Sexist, Space, WomenWent To The Moon, Took 5 Photos. Went To The Bathroom, Took 37 Photos.
Went to the moon, took 5 photos. Went to the bathroom, took 37 photos.
Babies, Drinking, Imagery, Studying, The RockWhat Are Your Plans For The Weekend?
What are your plans for the weekend? Studying. [shocked look] Drinking! Drinking!
Cars, Imagery, MosquitosA Mosquito With A Helmet
Mosquitos flying towards a car.
Animals, Cats, ImageryJust Wait Until I’m Fully Charged
Just wait until I’m fully charged…
Imagery, Ipad, IphoneFree IPhone To IPad Upgrade
Free iPhone to iPad Upgrade
English, ImageryMissing The Point
Missing the point
Internet, RisquéCybersex How-Not-To
Cybersex how it should not be…
Browsers, Chrome, Firefox, Geeky, Imagery, Internet, Internet Explorer, Opera, SafariIE Retarded
I hope he doesn’t say something retarded…
ReligiousCommon Belief
The belief that there was nothing…
Imagery, Money, Monopoly, StrippersMonopoly Money For Fake Boobs
I think it’s only fair to throw monopoly money at strippers with fake boobs.
Grammar, SpellingYou Read That Wrong
That awkward moment when you read that wrong…
Imagery, Osama Bin Laden, Sport, Terrorists, Weight LiftingOsama Bin Liftin’
Osama Bin Liftin’
Animals, Cats, ImageryI’m Glad You’re Up
I’ve put all of your folded shirts on the floor for you.
Imagery, ShipsA Ship Shipping Ship Shipping Shipping Ships.
A ship shipping ship shipping shipping ships.
Flash, ImageryVision Test
Vision Test.
Books, ImageryRead Your Book Case
A bookcase worth reading.
Animals, Cats, Imagery, RacoonsCat Found
Cat Found. Very aggressive.
Animals, Imagery, RabbitsWhat Rabbits Do
What rabbits do when humans go out…
Imagery, Political, Politicians, Prostitutes, RisquéHonest Politician
Hi! I’m 32. I’m a politician and I’m honest. Hi. I’m 29, I’m a prostitute and I’m a virgin.
America, Imagery, RacistAmerican Measures
American Measures: An Arbitrary Retarded Rollercoaster
Alphabet, Games, ImageryAlphabet Game
The Alphabet Game is a car game played to amuse travellers on long car rides.
Easter, Eggs, ImageryDye Job
Check out the dye job on her? Tramp!
Animals, ImageryJust Checking
“Just doing a spot-check to see what you’re doing… Yup, sitting at your computer again!” The expression on this ostrich’s face is excellent.
English, GrammarParaprosdokians
Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.
Imagery, SpicesSeasons Greetings
Seasons Greetings
Art, Geeky, ImageryNational Portrait Gallery
National Portrait Gallery. National Landscape Gallery…
Imagery, Logan, Racist, RisquéIn Logan
Meanwhile… in Logan…
Animals, Dogs, Drugs, Imagery, MethMeth Lab Dog
Yellow Lab, Black Lab, Chocolate Lab, Meth Lab!
Cartoons, ImageryFor A Good Time
For a good time, call…
Animals, Imagery, OttersOtter Nonsense
I’ve had it up to here with your otter nonsense…
Air Force, Fighter Jets, Imagery, Jets, NavyWrong Button
Fighter jet hits the wrong button.
Acronyms, Imagery, Iphone, PhonesIDK LY TTYL
IDK LY TTYL: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later.
Dear Thigh Fat
Help the needy?
Animated, Imagery, MedicalRoot Canal
Amusing animated image of root canal treatment
Board Games, Games, ImageryGroup Therapy
…is not going to make Q any less of a hated letter.
Advertising, Gay, Imagery, Showers, VintageBradley Group Showers
Bradley Group Showers.
Drink, Food, ImageryThings To Eat And Drink In Public
Things to eat and drink in public.
Imagery, Motorbikes, SportOh Look, A Penny
Oh look, a penny!
Bill Gates, Imagery, Mario, North Korea, Star Wars, WinrarThe Good Guys Of The World
These are the Good Guys of the World.
Acrobats, Books, ImageryAcrobat Reader
An acrobat reader…
English, WordsWhat Is A Word Made Up Of 4 Letters Yet Is Also Made Up Of 3
What is a word made up of 4 letters yet is also made up of 3. Although is written with 8 letters, and then with 4. Rarely consists of 6, and never is written with 5.
ImagerySuperman’s Social Network Nightmare
Superman’s Social Network Nightmare.
Animals, Cats, ImageryOn A Roll
Don’t try to stop me… ‘cause I am on a roll.
America, Calendars, Imagery, Mayans, Obama, Political, PredictionsThe Mystery Of The Mayan Calendar Revealed
At last, the mystery of the Mayan calendar revealed.
Coronavirus, Hands, Hand Washing, Imagery, WashingRemember To Wash Your Hands!
My drawing is not great but please remember to wash your hands. Stay safe guys!
Babies, Cars, Imagery, StickersBaby On Board
Baby on Board
Imagery, Movies, Obi-wan Kenobi, Star Wars, Terrorism, World Trade CentreThese Blast Points… Too Accurate For Sand People
Obi-Wan Kenobi in front of burning World Trade Centre towers: “These blast points… too accurate for sand people”.
Advertising, Cocaine, Drugs, Imagery, Toothache, VintageCocaine Toothache Drops
Cocaine Toothache Drops: Instantaneous Cure! 15¢.
Notice
Notice is hereby given…
Computers, GeekyRandom Number
A simple function to return a random number.
Board Games, Imagery, SexistWomen’s Monopoly
By a man…
Apple, Boobs, Fashion, Imagery, Ios, Risqué, ShirtsSlide To Unlock
A woman wearing a shirt: Slide to Unlock.
Crocs, Imagery, Shoes, WeddingsWedding Crocs
Wedding Crocs.
Animals, ImageryUsed Cows
Used Cows for Sale.
Hunger Games, Imagery, Katniss Everdeen, Kristen Stewart, Movies, Movie Stars, Smiling, TwilightKristen Stewart Smiles
I don’t always smile, but when I do, I don’t.
Religious, RisquéSisters Of St Francis
Sisters of St. Francis House of Prostitution…
Computers, Evolution, ImagerySomething Went Terribly Wrong
Something, somewhere went terribly wrong.
Imagery, Reincarnation, WoodReincarnation Gone Horribly Wrong
Reincarnation gone horribly wrong
Animals, ImageryFalling Cows
A roadsign showing a cow falling off a cliff and onto a car.
Animals, Computer Games, Computers, Imagery, SpidersBravery
…in the face of spiders.
Drugs, ImageryToo High
Quick! Grab my hand! I… I can’t! You’re too high! What?
ImageryMartha Stewart’s New Digs
Martha Stewart’s New Digs
Computers, ImageryTimes Change
…but other things don’t.
InternetMoronic Email Scam
Nigerian spam…
English, Etymology, Imagery, Languages, SpanishEntero Somewhere Elso
English: Do Not Enter Here; Spanish: Entero Somewhere Elso.
Imagery, Jokes, ScrabbleScrabble Jokes
I accidentally swallowed some scrabble tiles… My next dump could spell disaster.
ImageryCute Party Trick
Man with finger up nose and out of eye.
Hippies, Imagery, ShirtsPassive Agressive Hippie
Passive Agressive Hippie: You want a [peace sign] of me?
Food, Imagery, WorkKikkoman When He’s Down
Your boss called to say you’re fired. So I bought your favourite soy sauce…
Coffee, Religious, SexistMorning Coffee
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning…
Animals, Birds, Imagery, Notices, Parrots, SignsParrot BBQ
Parrot Lost: Parrot BBQ!
Cars, Computers, GeekyMicrosoft Car
Microsoft and General Motors on the Automobile.
Imagery, Step Ladders, ToolsStep Ladder
The Troubles of Being a Step Ladder…
Imagery, Phones, SmsStreet Name
Hey, what’s your street name?
Animals, Dogs, ImageryFree Puppy
Free puppy…
Imagery, Police, ProtestsPolice & Protesters Help Fat Man Remove Pants
Police & Protesters help fat man remove pants…
Cars, Imagery, PetrolThe Bank Account Gas Ratio
The depressing ratio between your bank account, and your gas tank.
Astronauts, Coronavirus, Imagery, Nasa, SpaceCoronavirus Space Crew
Congratulations, your mission is now complete. You may return to Earth.
Advertising, Babies, ImageryGood Things Are Twice As Good In Cellophane
Good things are twice as good in Cellophane!
ImageryApostrophe, Catastrophe
Apostrophe, Catastrophe.
Apple, Imagery, Ipad, Portal, Technology, ValveValve’s “Portal”, As An IPad Decoration.
Valve’s “Portal”, as an iPad decoration.
Facebook, ImageryFacebook Illusion
Facebook: Providing the illusion you have friends since 2004!
Geeky, ItHow To Please Your IT Department
How to please your IT department.
SexistAustralia And Mateship
Mateship amongst Men & Women: The differences…
Babies, Imagery, RisquéI Will Deprive You Of Sex
I will deprive you of sex all night with my crying and then suck on your wife’s tits in the morning.
How To Make Sure You’re A Normal Person
A quick and easy test to determine if you are a normal person…
Gandalf, Harry Potter, Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, Patrick Stewart, Star Trek, Star WarsHow To Offend Four Groups Of Geeks With One Picture
How to offend four groups of geeks with one picture.
Children, Parenting, SportChild Beating
A seven year old boy was at the centre of a courtroom drama…
Apple, Imagery, Iphone, PhonesUpgrade Kit For IPhone 4 Owners
Upgrade kit for iPhone 4 owners. Only 99¢.
C Sharp, Developers, Geeky, Imagery, Java, ProgrammersWhy Do Java Developers Wear Glasses?
Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#!
Imagery, MathImaginary Friend
Aww, how cute. He has an imaginary friend!
Animals, Cats, Godzilla, Imagery, KittensGodzilla Kitten
Terrifyingly cute…
Food, Geeky, ImageryLOL For Lunch
Ordering linguini for lunch always boosts morale.
Bananas, Food, Imagery, SuicideSuicidal Bananas
A collection of suicidal bananas.
Imagery, Jail, Logan, RacistI’m From Logan
I killed a man. You? I’m from Logan.
Books, Imagery, Lance Armstrong, LibrariesLance Armstrong Fiction Books
All non-fiction Lance Armstrong books including “Lance Armstrong: Images of a Champion”, “The Lance Armstrong Peprformance Program” and “Lance Armstrong: World’s Greatest Champion” will soon be moved to the fiction section.
Cars, ReligiousRoad Rage
Two cars were waiting at a stoplight. The light turned green, but the man didn’t notice it…
Illusion, ImageryFour Perfectly Round Circles
Four Perfectly Round Circles.
Accidents, Imagery, Logan, Racist, WindowsLogan Repair
Another quality repair job by Logan City Council.
Imagery, MondaysShortest Horror Story: Monday
Shortest horror story: Monday.
Computers, ImageryAlready Exists
skdjaskdhsajdahsdjashds.jpg already exists. Do you want to replace it? You've got to be kidding me.
Computer Games, ImageryVideo Games Don’t Make Us Violent – Lag Does!
Video games don’t make us violent – lag does!
Animals, Golf, Imagery, Sport, TurtlesWorld’s Largest Golf Ball
World’s largest golf ball. Gigantic turtle for scale.
Imagery, SmsBack From The Dead
Woo, it’s me! Back from the dead!
France, Imagery, North Korea, RacistFrance Surrenders To North Korea
France surrenders to North Korea
Imagery, InternetProcrastination
Have a little look at the Internet…
Animals, Imagery, RisquéOld Style Birth Control
Old Style Birth Control.
Food, Imagery, RisquéCarrot Love
When carrots get kinky…
Idiots
Idiots everywhere…
RacistAmerican History 101
American History 101
Boats, Fishing, Imagery, Logan, RacistFishing, Logan Style
Fishing, Logan Style.
Australia, Football, Imagery, Muslim, Racist, SportWell, I Guess We’ll Beheading Home Now
Well, I guess we’ll beheading home now…
Animals, Imagery, SealsThe Seal Of Approval
The Seal of Approval…
Animals, Imagery, RaccoonsGet Well Soon
A raccoon lies dead on the road, holding a “get well soon” balloon.
Bananas, Food, Hats, ImageryBanana Hat
Banana hat…
Perfect Existence
Perfect Existence: The Proof
Alcohol, Imagery, SexistLet’s Go For A Drink…
Goldstar Beer Ads: What goes through the mind of men and women when they’re asked to go for a drink…
JokeLaurel And Hardy
Laurel and Hardy were repairing their roof. All of a sudden, Hardy lost his balance and went tumbling on the ground…
Ice, Imagery, MindpowerMelt Ice With My Mind
I can melt ice with my mind… just give me a few minutes…
Aboriginal, Australia, RacistAboriginal Spongebob Spotted In Cairns
Aboriginal Spongebob spotted in Cairns.
Advertising, Imagery, Sexist, Vintage, VitaminsThe Harder A Wife Works, The Cuter She Looks
So the harder a wife works, the cuter she looks!
Imagery, Music, Rap, Rock, SignsRap Loses To Rock
Rap is like scissors, it always loses to rock.
Animals, Joke, PigsThree Little Piggies
Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night…
Bacon, ImageryTen Pieces Of Bacon
If I had 10 pieces of bacon, and you took 4, what would you have? Yes, that’s right you’d have a black eye and a bruised hand.
Cyclones, Imagery, SupermarketsCyclone Magic Trick
Wanna see a magic trick?
Alcohol, Drunk, ImagerySlur In Cursive
When I drink, I don’t slur my words… I speak in cursive.
Medical, RisquéKeep Off The Grass
A Nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothes, entered…
Image, Qut, UniversityQUT: University For The Real World
Will we find intelligent life?
Animals, Bears, Cartoons, Imagery, PigsJackass Piglet
Hi, my name’s piglet and this is Jackass.
Christmas, Christmas Lights, ImageryChristmas Lights: Ditto
Ditto to that…
Computers, GeekyMessage From Your IT Deptartment
Message from your IT Deptartment…
Imagery, RisquéSave Paper
Save paper…
Geeky, Imagery, MeditationGeek Meditation Session
In your mind’s browser, clear your cache… now delete your history… now navigate to a blank web page…
Animals, Cats, Imagery, MetallicaMettalicat
Mettalicat: Sleeps with one eye open, gripping his pillow tight.
Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, PhonesIPhone 6: Bend It Like Beckham
iPhone 6: Bend it like Beckham.
Imagery, PhotographyOlympus Fights Back
Olympus Fights Back: Canon versus Olympus
America, Democracy, Imagery, TvWelcome To The USA
The Government where the money’s made up and the debt doesn’t matter.
Accidents, Food, ImageryMilkshake Meets Door
A woman runs into a door carrying two milkshakes.
Imagery, RisquéThumb War
One, two three, four. I declare a thumb war…
Emoji, Imagery, Phones, SmsEmoji
Alien blood transfusions are illegal for ghosts, but beach chickens win!
Balloons, Cars, ImageryMissile Balloons
Missile Balloons.
ImagerySteady Hand – The Results
Steady Hand – The Results (or what happens when you play Steady Hand)
Animals, Bunnies, Chocolate, Easter, Food, Imagery, RabbitsEaster Bunnies
Chocolate Easter Bunnies: My butt hurts! What?
Animals, Bread, Dogs, Food, ImageryBread Dog
The Amazing Bread Dog.
Australia, Imagery, Nrl, Nsw, Qld, Rugby, SportNSW Playing Economically: 2 Punches Per Gallen.
NSW playing economically. 2 punches per Gallen.
Imagery, PunsThe Highest Form Of Flattery
Plateaus: The highest form of flattery.
Girls, Imagery, WorkForgot I Was Sharing My Screen With Her
I was on an online conference call with a cute sounding girl, and googled her name out of curiosity. Forgot I was sharing my screen with her.
Animals, Boobs, Bras, Cats, ImageryBooby Trap
Nooo! It’s a booby trap!
Imagery, SpidersSpider’s Remember
Remember when you threw a shoe at me and I fell somewhere behind the bed? I remember too.
Imagery, Motorbikes, RisquéSexy Motorbike
I am not too sure what to say about this…
America, Cia, Cocaine, Coke, Drugs, ImageryCIA: We Put The Coke In America
CIA: we put the coke in America.
Aeroplanes, Aircraft, Imagery, WarRequesting Air Support
Requesting Air Support! “Believe in yourself. You can do it!”
Beer, ChartsBeer Troubleshooting Chart
Beer Troubleshooting Chart.
Animals, Dogs, ImageryFridge Magnets
Well, tell me, Randy. Has someone eaten all the refrigerator magnets again?
Aboriginal, Australia, RacistAboriginal Eggs
Two Aboriginal lads are riding along the Hume Highway on a motorbike…
Facebook, Imagery, InternetFuture Man
So you’re saying people will “tweet” what they’re eating for breakfast?
America, RacistA Russian Arrives In New York
A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United States…
Imagery, Political, Snowden, Spying, WikileaksEdward Snowden Buys A Plane Ticket From Moscow To Havana…
Snowden buys a plane ticket from Moscow to Havana. Over 30 journalists pay last-minute airfare for a ticket on the same flight. The doors shut, the plane takes off, and [Edward] Snowden is not on the plane. It’s a 16-hour flight.
Alligators, America, Animals, Australia, Bears, Birds, Crocodiles, Europe, Imagery, Moose, Puma, Rabbits, Sharks, Snakes, SpidersMost Dangerous Animals
How people in the colonies are still alive is beyond me…
Animals, Dogs, Education, Elephants, Exams, Fish, Imagery, Monkeys, Penguins, School, SealsOur Education System
[To an assorted group of animals] Our Education System: For a fair selection everybody has to take the same exam: Please climb that tree.
Boats, Books, Fishing, Reading, Sexist, WomenNever Argue With A Woman
Never Argue with a Woman…
Babies, ImageryDraw Fake Eyebrows On Your Baby
Draw fake eyebrows on your baby. Then sit back and enjoy the humour.
Joke, RisquéJam And Butter The Muddy Plasters, The Dirty Bucket Of Pitch!
Jam and butter the muddy plasters, the dirty bucket of pitch!
Animals, ImageryGeneral Hierarchical Management Structure
I’ve never seen a Flow Chart described so clearly.
Imagery, WorkMeetings
The practical alternative to work.
Illusion, ImageryMoving Illusion
A psychedelic illusion where a brightly coloured non-moving image appears to be pulsating in and out.
Comedians, Comedy, Grammar, Hitler, Imagery, JapanOne Thing Led To Another
I hate when you’re reading something and you come across the phrase “one thing led to another”
Animals, Fish, ImageryCan February March? No, But April May.
Can February March? No, but April May.
SexistGirl’s And Boy’s Diaries
A girl and a boy and their diaries…
Geeky, ImageryDied
…from not forwarding that text message to 10 people.
Geeky, ImageryVoice
Scrooge and Donald on IRC.
Australia, France, Imagery, Racist, RisquéAustralian Kiss
Australian Kiss: same as a French Kiss… but down under.
ImageryBird Flu
I’m not worried about this bird flu…
Alligators, Animals, Crocodiles, ImageryHow To Tell Alligators And Crocodiles Apart
It’s not that difficult to tell alligators and crocodiles apart…
Betas, Bugs, Calendars, Cartoons, Imagery, MayansMayan’s Beta Calendar Bug
…to get to the point; why does your calendar end in 2012? Oh, that’s just a temporary problem in the beta version!
Campbell Newman, Imagery, Political, QueenslandCampbell Newman: Public Service: You Can Trust Me
[Campbell Newman laughing] …and then I said to the public service… you can trust me…
Animals, Jokes, Puns, Racing, SnailsI Took The Shell Off My Racing Snail, Thinking It Would Make Him Run Faster.
I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster.
ImageryProcrastination Issues
I’m taking care of my procrastination issues; just you wait and see.
Children, Cleaning, Imagery, MopsStupid Child Efficiency Mop
Stupid Child Efficiency Mop. Wipe high-efficiently.
Animals, Chocolate, Dogs, Heaven, ImageryA Dog Dies: Can I Have Chocolate?
A dog dies and finds out chocolate killed him.
Adoption, Babies, ImageryAdopted Baby
Dude, I’m joking, you are not adopted!
Animals, Birds, Chickens, Imagery, MarriageMarriage: Before & After (Chicken Style)
Marriage: Before & After (Chicken Style).
Facebook, Imagery, TattoosTough Tattoos
Tough Tattoos: You Don’t Have to Like Me.
Helpful Hints
Helpful Hints
Advertising, Babies, Beer, Imagery, Mothers, VintageHow Mother And Baby “Picked Up”
Blatz Beer: How Mother and Baby “Picked Up”.
Apple, Computers, Imagery, Phones, Religious, Steve JobsI Have An APP For That!
Steve Jobs, 1955 – 2011.
Imagery, Kim Jong-un, North Korea, SnickersKim, Eat A Snickers
Kim Jong-un: I’m going to nuke everyone. Kim, eat a Snickers. Kim: Why? Because you turn into a war mongler when you’re hungry. Better? Kim: Better.
Geeky, Imagery, Ninjas, Pirates, ZombiesSurvival Tracking Guide
The Pirate, the Ninja, & the Zombie…
Guns, ImageryCrayon Gun
A fantastic gun made from many every-day items.
SexistCIA Assassin
The CIA had an opening for an assassin…
Imagery, ToiletsWalked Into A Public Bathroom
Walked into a public bathroom. Saw this and heard “hello?”
Animated, ImagerySpiderman
If Spiderman was a gay night-clubber…
ImageryCharlie Sheen For Halloween
No, you can’t be Charlie Sheen for Halloween.
AustraliaText Of A Letter From A Kid From Eromanga To Mum And Dad.
Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad.
News Headlines
Amusing news headlines
Facebook, InternetFacebook Farm
A dying granny tells her granddaughter, “I want to leave you my farm…
America, Guns, ImageryHow To Sneak Chocolate Into An American Movie Theatre.
How to sneak chocolate into an American movie theatre.
Banks, ImageryI Was Going To Make A Joke About A Bank, But Then I Lost Interest…
I was going to make a joke about a bank, but then I lost interest…
Beer, Imagery, Logan, Prams, Racist, Victoria BitterLogan Priorities
Logan Priorities.
The Fellowship Of The Ring
The Fellowship of the Ring.
Jokes, Punography, PunsPunography
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me…
Imagery, MathSeven Ate Nine
Six, Seven, Ate, Nine…
Apple, Computers, Imagery, Religious, Steve JobsHe’s Gonna Upgrade Your Tablets…
Moses, meet Steve. He’s gonna upgrade your tablets…
Australia, Chairs, Disaster, Earthquake, Imagery, MelbourneThe 2012 Melbourne Earthquake
The 2012 Melbourne Earthquake: We will rebuild.
Australia, Coronavirus, Imagery, Political, Politicians, Scott MorrisonA Visual Representation Of Scott Morrison’s Address To The Nation
A visual representation of Scott Morrison’s address to the nation tonight
America, France, Ireland, Irish, Racist, RisquéThe Penis Study
The American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man’s penis was larger than the shaft…
Animals, Imagery, SharksMisunderstood Sharks
Misunderstood Sharks.
Animals, Cats, ImageryDid You Try Jumping Off The Refrigerator Too?
Did you try jumping off the refrigerator too?
Australia, Brisbane, Computer Games, Explosions, Guns, Imagery, PoliceBrisbane, GTA Style
Queen Street Mall, Brisbane, GTA Style.
ImageryCockroach Cancer
Please, don’t throw your cigarette butts on the floor…
Canada, Imagery, NoticesCanadian Security
Canadian Security: It may seem rude but for security reasons please do not open the door to strangers.
SexistCelibacy
Many aspects of human sexuality are very puzzling…
Animals, Imagery, KangaroosI Said Be Quiet! Don’t Make Me Come In There!
I said be quiet! Don’t make me come in there!
Geeky, ImageryBlackboard
School kid writing Code on blackboard as punishment.
Cars, Imagery, Time TravelAnnual Meeting Of Time Travellers
Annual Meeting of Time Travellers.
Batman, Imagery, WikileaksWikileaks
Bruce Wayne!
Geeky, ImageryDrowning, LOL!
If you see someone drowning… LOL!
CatsHappy Pussy
A collection of amusing cat pictures.
Beer, Imagery, SexistYou Never Listen To Me…
You never listen to me! You only hear what you want to hear!
Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, MsnMSN Shuts Down
We reminisce about “the good old days” of MSN…
ReligiousThe Atheist & The Bear
The Atheist and the Religious Bear
George Bush, Imagery, Iran, Political, Weapons Of Mass Destruction, WmdI Can’t Believe The “WMD” Trick Is Working Again With Iran
I can’t believe the “WMD” trick is working again with Iran. Suckers…
ImageryThe Ego Boost Urinal
The Ego Boost Urinal.
Animated, Chris Coutts, Flash, Imagery, No Effort OnlineChris Coutts: No Effort Online: Tales For The L33T: ROMEO+JULIET
Chris Coutts: No Effort Online flash animations
Bikinis, Burqa, Imagery, Muslim, Racist, SexistWhat A Cruel Male-dominated Culture
It’s a male dominated culture, no matter how you look at it…
Animals, Beds, Dinosaurs, ImageryT-Rex Making A Bed
When you’re upset just imagine a T-Rex making a bed.
PoliticalScientific Breakthrough – Governmentium
A major research institution recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named Governmentium.
Animals, Imagery, JokeThe World’s Funniest Joke
The World’s Funniest Joke…
Children, Imagery, Sexist, ToysTo Avoid Perpetuating Gender Stereotypes
To avoid perpetuating gender stereotypes, I gave my daughter a mix of dolls and toy cars to play with. This is what happened…
Animated, ImageryA Teaser
You must stare very closely at the door in this image for around 30 seconds…
Guns, Imagery, ToastToast Toasts Toast?
If guns don’t kill people, people kill people, does that mean…
SexistSocialize
Men socialize by insulting each other…
Boobs, Imagery, RisquéWater Enhanced Breasts
Water Enhanced Breasts…
Animals, Dachshunds, Dogs, Imagery, RacingDachshund Racing
Googled “dachshund racing”. Was not disappointed.
Advertising, Boats, Imagery, Oceans, Oxi-clean, ShipsThe Power Of Oxi-Clean
The Power of Oxi-Clean.
Children, Families, Imagery, Parenting, SchoolWhen I Grow Up… I Want To Be Like Mommy!
I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer…
Einstein, ImageryYou Matter
You are living, you occupy space, you have a mass… you matter.
Geeky, History, Internet, ItHow The Internet Started: A History Lesson
How the Internet Started: A History Lesson.
Apple, Imagery, Iphone, Iphone 6, PhonesIPhone 6 Comparison
iPhone 6 Plus Comparison.
Imagery, Newspapers, TechnologyAll This Technology Is Making Us Antisocial
All this technology is making us antisocial: A tram full of people ignoring each other and reading the newspaper.
Bras, Imagery, New Zealand, Racist, Risqué, SportThe All Blacks Bra
Introducing the New Zealand All Blacks Bra. All the support, but no cup.
Redneck, TechnologyTechnology For Country Folk
Technology for Country Folk.
Animals, Giraffes, Imagery, SpidersGiraffe Spider
A giraffe spots a spider…
Imagery, RisquéFlower Porn
Even flowers do it…
Animals, Giraffes, ImageryLet’s Get You Home Buddy
Two giraffe having problems getting home.
Homework, Imagery, SchoolSelf Referencing Homework
What has been your greatest accomplishment so far?
Imagery, Mobiles, Mouse Traps, Phones, TelstraCustomer Retention
Free Phone Telstra Style.
Imagery, Jokes, Paper, Puns, SignsTearable Puns
These are tearable puns.
Australia, Imagery, Matches, Pauline Hanson, Political, Redheads, RednecksRednecks
Redneck Matches…
Animals, Cats, Dogs, ImageryCat: The Dog Went Missing
Cat: The dog went missing? Hahaha! Hahaha! I’m sorry human. Hahaha… no seriously, I’m so sad…
Animals, Cats, Dogs, JokeWoof
How do you get a cat to bark like a dog?
English, GrammarThat’s What She Said
That’s what she said.
Imagery, Math, SchoolI’ll Just Be A Stripper.
Screw this: I’ll just be a stripper.
Imagery, TeaMr. Tea
Mr. Tea the teapot.
Cars, Geeky, TechnologyCars And Computers
General Motors doesn’t have a help line for people who don’t know how to drive because people don’t buy cars like they buy computers, but imagine if they did…
Education, Imagery, School, TeachersExplain These Bad Grades
1969: A child’s parents blame him for his bad grades. Today: A child’s parents blame his teacher for his bad grades.
Accidents, Buses, Imagery, Rivers, Wildlife DocumentariesA Wild Bus Drinking Water
And here we see a wild bus drinking water from a river.
Imagery, Marriage, Onions, People, ProposingProposing With An Onion
Proposing with an onion: Guaranteed to cry.
Money, Quotations, SchwarzeneggerHaving More Money Doesn’t Make You Happier
Having more money doesn’t make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I’m just as happy as when I had 48 million.
English, ImageryYou You Read The First Line Wrong?
What if I told you you read the first line wrong?
ImageryAwkward Moment
The awkward when you already said “moment” in your head before you read it.
Bathrooms, Imagery, SignsYou Look Fine
Instead of a mirror, a sign “you look fine”.
Imagery, Music, Musical Instruments, Sex, Violence, ViolinsSax And Violins
Warning: This image contains sax and violins. Viewer discretion is advised.
Advertising, Feminine Hygiene, Imagery, Sexist, VintagePlease, Dave… Please Don’t Let Me Be Locked Out From You!
Please, Dave… please don’t let me be locked out from you! For complete feminine hygiene rely on Lysol – a concentrated germ-killer!
Children, Imagery, ParentingAn Angry Child
If she doesn’t put me down in about two seconds, I will be forced to use my fist!
Animals, Fire, Imagery, SpidersThere Was A Spider, I Panicked
There was a spider, I panicked. But I think it’s gone now.
Computers, Geeky, ImagerySpeed Reader
Wow you read that fast! You must be a speed reader!
Imagery, Toilet PaperToilet Paper
A piece of toilet paper saving another piece…
Computers, GeekyOperating System Airlines
Operating System Airlines.
Asian, Imagery, Iphone, Racist, RiceIf Your Phone Gets Wet, Try Placing It In A Bag Of Rice
If your phone gets wet, try placing it in a bag of rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you.
Australia, Games, Imagery, MonopolyAustralian Monopoly
Australian Monopoly: St Marys to Penrith Special Edition.
Sexist, WorkDon’t Copy If You Can’t Paste
Don’t copy if you can’t paste…
Australia, New Zealand, RacistKiwi Pig Sheep
Voted Best Joke of the Year in Australia…
Centrelink, Imagery, WineDrinking A Nice Wine
Drinking a nice wine while listening to classical music…
Imagery, RacistHas One Night Stand
Has one night stand, but way too many books to fit on it.
Australia, Doctors, Imagery, SpidersAustralian Spider Bite
That spider bit me… am I going to become spiderman? No. This is Australia, you’re going to die.
Got To Love Drunk People
>A man, and his wife are awakened at 3 o’clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door…
Advertising, Australia, Billboards, CarsRAC Roadside Assistance Meltdown
You don’t want to be stuck out here.
Imagery, Queensland, WinterI Absolutely Love Winter In Queensland.
I absolutely love winter in queensland. Last year it was a Wednesday.
Alarms, Animals, Clocks, Imagery, SpidersAlarm Clock That Releases Spiders
Million dollar idea… alarm clock that releases spiders! Now you’re up!
Animals, Dogs, Imagery, RisquéBitches & Hose
Having so much fun…
A Middle-aged Woman Decides To Have A Facelift…
A middle-aged woman decides to have a facelift…
Animated, Chris Coutts, Flash, Imagery, No Effort OnlineChris Coutts: No Effort Online: There’s Something About Osmethne
Chris Coutts: No Effort Online flash animations
Doctors, HospitalsFinding Information In Hospital
A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph’s Hospital…
Crocs, Friday The 13th, Imagery, Jason Voorhees, Movies, ShoesJason Voorhees Gets Crocs
Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th) gets Crocs.
Animals, Horses, Imagery, SeahorsesSeahorse
I’m a seahorse. Your argument is invalid.
ImageryProof That Not Knowing Everything Is The Best Way To Go
Proof that not knowing everything is the best way to go.
Animals, Imagery, PigsBacon Seed
Bacon seed.
Geeky, Imagery, RomanceRoses Are #FF0000
Roses are #FF0000, Violets are #0000FF.
Animated, Chris Coutts, Flash, Imagery, No Effort OnlineChris Coutts: No Effort Online: What Does Suxor Mean 2
Chris Coutts: No Effort Online flash animations
Hats, Imagery, SportYou Can’t Beat Stupid…
I wish they would invent something to keep the sun out of my eyes…
Advertising, Food, Fountain, Imagery, Tomato Sauce, WoolworthsBuy Two & Receive A Free Fountain Face!
Buy two and receive a Free Fountain Face!
Computers, Geeky, ItStar Trek TNG Meets Microsoft
Star Trek TNG Meets Microsoft…
Advertising, Imagery, Men, Sexist, SignsThis Year Thousands Of Men Will Die From Stubbornness…
This year thousands of men will die from stubbornness. No we won’t.
Cars, Imagery, TrucksDriver Is Fully Naked
Driver carries less than $50 cash and is fully naked.
Imagery, Risqué, SexistGrow Some Balls
Why do people say ‘grow some balls’?
Animals, Dogs, Imagery, SpidersSpider Dog
Spider Dog…
Credit Cards, Genies, Imagery, Sexist, WomenIrresistible To Women
Make me irresistible to women
Cars, SexistHow To Change Your Oil
How to Change your Oil: A guide for men & women…
Risqué, SexistMating Bulls
A man took his wife to the Rodeo and one of the exhibits is that of breeding bulls…
Imagery, TurtlesA Wee Turtle
A wee turtle…
Animals, Broomsticks, Cars, Frogs, Imagery, Parking, Princesses, WitchesAll Others Will Be Toad
Private customer parking only. All others will be toad.
Food, Imagery, Pasta, TrucksPasta Truck
A pasta truck, or a very large pasta.
Bones, Imagery, SkeletonsThe Average Human Body Contains Enough Bones
The average human body contains enough bones to make an entire human skeleton.
Apple, Imagery, Ios, Ios7, Iphone, Mobiles, PhonesThe New IPhone 5C With IOS 7
The new iPhone 5C with IOS 7.
Fans, Metal, MusicMetal Fan
What kind of music do you like? I am a huge metal fan. Me too!
ImageryWhen You Thought You Ran Over An Animal
When you thought you ran over an animal but it was just a person
Animals, DogsTalking Dog For Sale
A man sees a sign outside a house – “Talking Dog for Sale.”
Fonts, Imagery, TypographyBe Bold
Be bold or italic. Never regular.
Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, Lotr, PizzaBrace Yourself. Pizza Is Coming.
Brace Yourself. Pizza is coming.
America, Congress, Imagery, It Crowd, PoliticalCongress: Have You Tried Turning It Off And On Again?
Congress: have you tried turning it off and on again?
Beer, SexistA Beer Before It Starts
A man came home from work, sat down in his favourite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, “Quick, bring me a beer before it starts”…
Sexist, WomenWords Women Use
Words women use, and what they really mean.
Africa, Animals, ImageryRhino Painting
A rhinoceros painting…
Imagery, SnowDead Snowmen
Gruesomely dead snowmen.
Imagery, Nigerians, Racist, ScamsRich Nigerians
Nigerian man dies and authorities find billion in his apartment…
Buildings, Jokes, Physicists, PunsA Physicist Sees A Young Man About To Jump Off The Empire State Building
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building…
Illusion, ImageryIllogical Lego
Illogical Lego.
Imagery, RisquéDangers Of Masturbation
The Dangers of Masturbation.
Animals, Gorillas, Imagery, King Kong, Mobiles, Phones, VodafoneNo Signal
The “Vodafone Effect”.
Accidents, Cars, Imagery, Seatbelts, SexistNew Seatbelt Design: 45% Less Car Accidents!
A man driving a car while a woman sits beside him, with her seatbelt across her mouth, preventing her from commenting.
Imagery, Notices, Paper, SignsPaper Says Yes
Would you like a little piece of paper that says yes to hang onto during the tough times ahead? (Maybe it will help)
Animals, Dogs, Driving, Imagery, SexistDog Decides Better Driver
My wife believes she is a better driver. I let our dog decide.
Imagery, Nietzsche, ReligiousNietzsche Is Dead
God is dead” ~Nietzsche / “Nietzsche is dead” ~God.
Advertising, ImageryColgate Dental Floss Advertising Campaign
Colgate have created an ingenious campaign to promote their dental floss.
Racist, RedneckA Redneck Love Poem
Susie Lee done fell in love…
Beds, Hotels, Imagery, Phones, SheetsAlways Leave Your Hotel Room Like This
Always leave your hotel room like this
Communist, Geeky, Imagery, Microsoft, SoftwareCommunist Traitor
It looks like you’re a Communist traitor…
Animals, Animated, Australia, Emus, Imagery, KangaroosKangaroo Kicks Boy
A kangaroo kicks an unsuspecting boy into a dam while an emu strolls past.
Computer Games, Geeky, ImageryReality
Worst game ever.
Comics, English, ImageryThe Accidental Conversation Loop
My greatest social fear: The Accidental Conversation Loop.
SexistA Woman’s Wish
A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods…
Animals, Imagery, OctopusesDrunk Octopus Wants To Fight
Drunk Octopus Wants to Fight…
Canada, Imagery, Protests, RiotsCanadian Riots
Canadian Riots: Sorry to bother you, but perhaps you should take a break as our mayor?
Books, ImageryScary Campfire Stories: Book Style
And then… after they had ripped out half of her pages… they turned her… into a movie!
Bob Hope, Imagery, Johnny Cash, Kevin Bacon, Steve JobsDon’t Let Kevin Bacon Die
20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have No Cash, No Hope and No Jobs. Please don’t let Kevin Bacon die.
Mayans, Movies, Predictions, The Hobbit, TolkienMayans Predicting The Hobbit Movie
Keep calm. The Mayans were simply counting down to The Hobbit movie.
Flying, Imagery, SportFlying – Because Golf Only Takes One Ball
Flying – because softball, baseball, football, basketball, soccer, bowling and golf only take one ball.
Guns, Imagery, Mp3, Mp4, Mp5Well, That Escalated Quickly
Well, that escalated quickly.
Animals, Geeky, Imagery, Math, SnakesSnakes On A Plane
Snakes on a plane.
Redheads, SexistRedheads
How do you get a redhead…
ImageryI’m So Sick Of Not Being Understood!
I’m so sick of not being understood! What do you mean?
PoliticalOrdering Pizza In The Year 2025
Ordering pizza in the year 2025…
Alcohol, Australia, Bob Hawke, Imagery, Oxford, PoliticalBob Hawke’s Yard Of Ale
While at university at Oxford in 1963, Bob Hawke, former Prime Minister of Australia, entered the Guinness Book of Records here at the Turf Tavern after downing a yard of ale (that’s just over 2½ pints!) in just 11 seconds.
America, Britain, Political, Queen Elizabeth Ii, Queens, Racist, RoyaltyA MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN
A message to the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.
Australia, Imagery, Julia Gillard, Kevin Rudd, PoliticalWhere Was I Before I Was So Rudely Interrupted?
[Kevin Rudd] Where was I before I was so rudely interrupted?
Ice Cream, ImageryI Scream Cone
I Scream Cone.
Android, Galaxy Note, Imagery, Phones, Samsung, TechnologyBattery Fully Charged. Unplug Charger.
In what is perhaps one of the more stupid “features” on my Samsung Galaxy Note, when it reaches full charge, it lights up its screen and pops up and audible alert saying “Battery fully charged. Unplug charger.” As I charge my phone at night, it is effectively an extremely annoying unwanted wake-up call.
Imagery, Real EstateLaminated Room
List of reasons why a room would have to contain a bucket and be almost entirely laminated: 1) Bad reasons.
Game Shows, TvAmusing Hollywood Squares Answers
Amusing Hollywood Squares Answers.
Animals, ImageryAntique Tables
Made Daily…
Animals, Circuses, Dwarfs, Hippopotamuses, ImageryHippo Eats Dwarf
A hippopotamus has swallowed a dwarf in a circus accident…
Imagery, MedicalHearing Aids
Hearing aids…
Children, Dating, Imagery, Internet, RisquéLittle Kid Lover
I’m signing up for an online dating service. I just need to pick a username. “Little Kid Lover”, that way people will know where my priorities are at.
Imagery, Shirts, Tourettes, TshirtsWhat Do We Want? A Cure For Tourettes!
What do we want? A cure for tourettes! When do we want it? …
Boats, Imagery, Rowing, WarRow Row Row Your Boat
Row row row your boat. Shut up Carl.
Imagery, Lord Of The Rings, Sauron, Traffic LightsKneel, Says The Demon Light
Stop says the red light, go says the green. Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between. Kneel, says the demon light, with its eye of coal. Sauron knows your licence plate, and stares into your soul.
Imagery, Joke, Mayans, PredictionsMayan Joke Set-Up
Heh… I’ve just thought of a joke with the longest set-up ever! Cool! I’ll fetch a scribe…
Animals, Flamingos, ImageryGarden Flamingo
Garden Flamingo…
Exams, Imagery, Signs, University, UqIn Class Vs. In Your Exam
In class vs. in your exam.
Animals, Djs, Fishing, Imagery, MusicDrop The Bass
Can’t go fishing, ‘cause I always drop the bass…
Animated, Chris Coutts, Flash, Imagery, No Effort OnlineChris Coutts: No Effort Online: Ugly Whore
Chris Coutts: No Effort Online flash animations
Cars, ImageryHome Mechanics
Home Mechanics and their cars.
Geeky, InternetCannot Find The Damn File
Cannot find the damn file…
Boobs, Imagery, Risqué, SexistAmazing Hidden Images
Amazing Hidden Images!
Imagery, StoneNothing Is Written In Stone
Nothing is Written in Stone…
Alcohol, Imagery, Marriage, WineSecrets To A Long, Happy Marriage
An old woman was sipping on a glass of wine…
Imagery, Risqué, SignsPlease Use Finger
Pen is broken - please use finger.