Welcome to my website
v3, the third incarnation of my personal website, is a stylistically diverse site: The freedom to style each page how I want—while still keeping some semblance of order. The menu up the top is your friend. It’s the one thing that’s always there.
journal3 is the reason for v3.
I keep a journal, which details in great detail every little detail of my daily life. It’s not always exciting, but does give a good indication of what my life is like, and presumably in turn what I am like.
It’s my collection of mundane daily life, interspersed with my attempts at photography, wit, and whatever else comes to mind. The journal index is probably where you’d want to start.
accident albion comedy club alexandra alexandria bay amanda amy anna anne anthony laffan’s comedy hypnosis show beach bill birthday blaise brisbane festival bronwen buderim bushwalking byron bay cairns cam & christine cam & tina camera camping car cat & niall chris cinema clint college’s crossing cooktown dad dan daniel david dentist doctor doctors driving ebay eclipse family festival fire flight flooding fortitude valley funeral gav & valerie gavan geek geoff & hillary gold coast goma grace guns hail haircut hollie ian ipswich john & sarah kara kate katie kieran kindle lamington national park laptop leeches lens light painting lightning linda liza loki lunar eclipse markets maz media centre moving mum natacha natalie natural bridge netbook ngoc nicole noosa nudity odin outdoors phone photography pittsworth police qwab raymond rejects riverfire robots robowars sabine santos city of lights sarah scarecrows scott shooting sick silas sit down comedy club sizzlers soccer south bank springbrook stella storm stradbroke sunday live sunshine coast swimming sydney tamborine mountain the dreaming the steamers toothache torches travel twin falls umart uq valerie waterfalls west end markets woodford work
Ned Martin’s Amused – Because Someone Has to Be
I believe you can tell a lot about a person from what amuses them, or sometimes, what doesn’t amuse them, so when I come across something that amuses me, I put it on my amused site. Plus it’s a lot of fun.
Find things which have amused me recently, or browse around the categories below.
aboriginal accident advertising africa alcohol america animals animated apple art audio australia babies balloons bananas banks batman beaches bears beer bikes billboards birds blonde board games boats bones boobs books bras brisbane britain browsers bsod bugs buses business cards calendars canada cars cartoons carving cats chairs charts chickens children chocolate chrome clippit cocaine coffee comics communist computer games computers condoms cooking cows crocodiles daleks darth vader dating democracy dinosaurs disaster dogs donkeys driving drugs drunk ducks earthquake easter education eggs elephants emus english evolution explosions facebook families famous people fashion feminine hygiene fire firefox fish fishing flash flowcharts food france fruit games gay geeky george bush giraffes girls grammar guns halloween hands harry potter hats heaven history horses illusion imagery internet internet explorer ios ipad iphone irish it jobs joke jokes kangaroos kevin rudd kittens koalas kristen stewart languages laptops libraries linux lions logan lord of the rings mac marijuana marriage math mayans medical men meth microsoft milk mobiles money monopoly mothers motorbikes movies movie stars music musicians new zealand ninjas north korea nsw obama ocd opera otters parenting parking parrots penguins phones photography pie charts pigs pirates pizza police political posters predictions pregnancy quotations rabbits racist rallies redheads redneck relationships religious rice risqué roads robots rocks romance safari samsung school science seals sex sexist sharks ships shirts shoes shops signs sms snakes snow spiders sport sports spying sql star wars steve jobs stickers superman teachers technology terrorism the rock toilets tongues tools toys trucks turtles tv underwear university vegetables vintage war whales wifi wikileaks windows wine witches women woolworths words work zebras zombies
Newest Journal Entry
I relax and unwind at Hanging Rock Chalets.
It’s where you go for all those hard answers—or if you have a question you need an answer for. A useful site, by Ned Martin. www.hardanswers.net
the-i.org – Ned Martin’s Online Persona
I also have a website devoted to my online persona, “thei”, where you will find some of my photography, including some of myself, along with some information about me and where I live, amongst other things. There are also instructions for getting in contact with me via MSN or IRC, my musical tastes, and a whole lot more…
There’s usually a few revealing things hanging around at my public file depository too, although be aware that, despite the name, they may not actually be intended for public view—read the disclaimer first.
v2 was a very fixed site. Every page, every section, was exactly the same—stylistically speaking—as every other page. It’s still there—go have a look. It was heavily focused on standards compliance, accessibility, and all that jazz. It seemed the “right” way to design a perfectionist’s site back then. Now I’ve moved on. Order in chaos is my current goal.
A Short History of this Welcome Page
It was a basic welcome page back in v2. v3 started with a newspaper themed welcome page, before adding a tiled background, and finally, expanding on the tiled background, before changing to its current masonry column style, as it is today.
Bronwen & I shoot zombies at the Brisbane Zombie Walk, eat Thai, visit Maz, & it storms.
Bronwen & I drive to Currumbin Beach & The Swell Sculpture Festival & attend UQ’s MBA Information Evening, & I eat lunch with Alexandra & Anne & start exercising, & my ear plays up.
I take my car to the mechanic, who fixes two of the three things wrong with it; Bronwen & I see “Jobs”, go to “Symphony under the Stars” & “Opera at the Riverstage”; & I buy Bronwen a B.
Both Bronwen & I are sick & go to the doctor. We also see “White House Down”, the Brisbane Festival, & SpringFlare Festival of Colours, as well as gardening.
Election 2013: Krishna’s Birthday, The Fire, The Snake, Serbians, The Kurilpa Derby & Alexandra’s Bass Guitar
Bronwen & I go to Krishna’s Birthday, the Serbian Festival, The Kuripla Derby (& squid race), the Sit Down Comedy Club, a few Brisbane Writers Festival events, watch “Red 2”, & Alexandra’s bass arrives; I find a fire & call for help, I find a snake & deal with it, & Abbott (Liberal) beats Rudd (Labor).
I go to several rallies (gay marriage, saving the reef, & fearing chemtrails), see movies (“Now You See Me”, “Elysium” & “The World’s End”), eat very expensive food at The Stokehouse, watch ravers at “Elements in the Park” & dancers at “The Indian Independence Day Festival”, & see Japanese & teddybears at The Botanic Gardens & robots at QUT’s Robotronica, before watching the Glow Run & becoming sick.
Comedy Hypnosis, Ailan Kores, Bastille Day, Sunset Gathering, Thai-ish Food & The Epicurean Festival
Bronwen, Anne, Andy & I go to Anthony Laffan’s “Comedy Hypnosis”, then Bronwen & I watch a (failed) attempt to form the largest trumpet ensemble ever, slackline, drink water, go to The Ailan Kores, Bastille Day, the Sunset Gathering & the Epicurean Festival, endure “Pacific Rim”, eat Thai-ish food, & I save Australia.
Bronwen & I go to Lockyer Powerfest at Lake Dyer where I develop “ouchies” & photograph lots of speedboats, eat at Sizzler, watch “Superman” at South Bank, ogle art at “A Celebration of the Female Form”, watch Dan lose in soccer, visit The Teneriffe Festival, & Bronwen & I watch “The Lone Ranger” but it is broken.
Bronwen & I drive to Greta’s Wedding in Coffs Harbour. It is beautiful. Later, we watch “G.I. Joe Retaliation” & “Oblivion”, & I buy $5 shorts.
Bronwen & I go to “Africa Day” & look at amazing hats, watch Dan play soccer–twice, watch “The Great Gatsby”, go to the Albion Comedy Club with Greg & Kylie & Toowong Cemetry with Sarah, & I help Maz move & pay my speeding fine.
Bronwen & I go to the World Refugee Day Festival, see the “supermoon”, & twirl fire at Moonfest. I catch public transport & take my car to David, go to Sizzler with extreme difficulty, & switch my mobile to TPG. Bronwen recycles batteries at ALDI, I upgrade my phone to ICS, & we both go slacklining & to a fifties-style street party–“Shake the Village”.
It floods again, I build a Propaganda site, & I go to Tom’s Confectionary Warehouse.
Bronwen & I drive to the Gold Coast to look at the “Australian Sand Sculpting Championships”, I start work, & we watch “Cirque du Soleil: Worlds Away”.
I attend interviews & get some work, Maz’s car battery goes flat, & Bronwen & I go to the Daisy Hill Koala Centre.
Bronwen & I go to Sunnybank, The Valley Fiesta, Bogan Bingo, Astro Pete’s, The Diwali Festival, The Brisbane Grass Roots Music Festival, & see “The Intouchables”; Sarah’s laptop arrives, Silas & Liza visit, & I get sick.
Bronwen & I swim at Southbank, walk through Boondall Wetlands, see many jellyfish, & I have my wheels balanced.
I go back to work, replace the diff in my car, and finish up at Mettro. Bronwen & I watch “Les Miserables”, “The Life of Pi”, Jupiter at Astro Pete’s, & “Gangster Squad”, & we go to Heidi’s Fortieth. Laurie passes away.
My umbrella is stolen, there is a little storm & half of QLD (including me) loses power, & the media centre dies.
Bronwen, Maz, Clint & I walk to the base of Mapleton Falls, & Maz & I nearly die.
Bronwen, Maz & I drive to Springbrook & walk the Twin Falls Circuit, which is closed, & then go to Chez Tessa because The Burrito Bar has run out of tacos.
I build a new media centre, which promptly breaks, prompting me to revisit the harrowing history of my media centre. Bronwen & I also go see “Race 2”–a Bollywood film–& Mettro tells me Ray White have pulled development back in-house.
I eat–and photograph–food for a week, go to Pittsworth with Maz, watch “Men in Black 3”, & try a new vegetarian restaurant–The Green Vegetarian Restaurant
Bronwen & I fly to Cairns, drive to Mount Carbine, & watch an amazing solar eclipse with Bronwen’s parents. I then meet Silas & Liza, & fly home.
Bronwen & I go to The Korean Multicultural Festival, & climb Flinder’s Peak with Derek, Eric & Robert, I fall sick, Bronwen’s job ends, & wee see off Natacha at The Three Monkeys with Shane and Alexandra, before booking flights to Cairns.
Maz, Kate & I drive to Natural Bridge Glow Worm Caves, we all look at Ngoc’s milk boobs, then Ngoc’s icecream boobs, watch “The Expendables 2”, a spider is in my shoe, the police deafen me, I clone my hard drive, & go shoe shopping & visit the new Chez Tessa.
I buy 6TB of hard drives for the server & find they can’t be used, go to Sizzler with Bronwen, & Cedar Creek & Cameron Falls with Bronwen & Maz & most of the bogans in the Gold Coast, & see some scarecrows. Then Niall leaves, I meet Clint, & go see Anthony Laffan’s Comedy Hypnosis Show.
Bronwen & I drive to Springbrook, walk the Twin Falls Circuit, & look at Natural Bridge in the day time for a change. I also use the bike carrier for the first time.
Bronwen & I watch the Brisbane Festival opening & Santos City of Lights, drive to Lake Kurwongbah with Maz, walk up Mt. Gravatt, eat pizza, & I am nearly killed by a ferocious shower spider.
Bronwen & I go to Stradbroke Island, watch the “Straddie Salute” triathlon, “Moonrise Kingdon”, eat chocolate nachos & go to Govinda’s.
I go to the West End Block Party, Bronwen & I both go to the Sit Down Comedy Club at the Alexandra Hills Hotel, & Maz, Uzi, Ian, Chris & I drive & ride to the Gold Coast, Byron Bay & Nimbin.
Bronwen & I go to Govinda’s, don’t take Natacha to Murwillumbah & instead go to Kondalilla Falls & Alexandria Bay, see a fruit bat and many naked men, & eat a Frenzy for the first time in many years.
Bronwen, Maz & I drive to Springbrook & visit Purling Brook Falls, coming across an upside down 4WD on the way home; Bronwen & I get free mini Dutch pancakes, watch “Looper”, & I cook two-minute noodles.
Bronwen & I attend the Robowars 2012 Nationals, watch Riverfire from the 33rd floor of the Suncorp building, & Bronwen starts a new job.
I run out of milk, go to the Sit Down Comedy Club, eat chips with Clint at Scarborough, shop for shoes & chocolate, watch “The Hunger Games”, attend “Earth Hour”, a suitcase rummage, & buy a Mini Bike Trainer.
I go to Stradbroke Island with Bronwen & am attacked by ants, mosquitoes, & gum nuts—but no icebergs.
I go to Pittsworth with Bronwen & Maz & execute a laptop. Also, a pleasant bonfire is had.
I eat chips at Pittsworth, curry in Rosalie, & film the massacre of many Easter Bunnies.
Bronwen & I go to Pittsworth with Maz & Clint, eat birthday cake, & take photographs in the dark.
Bronwen & I attend Gavin’s funeral, I get toothache & visit the dentist, go to Govinda’s Sunday Feast, & watch “Coriolanus” & “The Rum Diaries”.
The KGB don’t find me, I fix my car’s central locking, watch “Chronicle” with Clint & “Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy” without him, the water fails, Flash crashes, I redesign my site, & Bronwen & I attend Cam & Christine’s party & a family dinner.
I buy more RAM, & start using DragonNaturallySpeaking to write a journal…
I put more RAM in my laptop, Bronwen’s Dad “retires”, her Aunt & Uncle leave, we laugh at the Sit Down Comedy Club, & watch “Killer Elite”.
Bronwen, Clint, Maz & I go for a wet & misty walk through the leeches along Toolona Creek & Mount Wanungra at O’Reilly’s, & itch for days after.
I get very “me” Birthday Shirts, walk the Gateway Bridge, & eat muffins.
I watch “Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows”, eat a late Christmas Lunch at Sizzlers, & go swimming at College’s Crossing.
It is hot. I fix my car door, watch “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo”, & eat a lot.
I have some days & nights, attend family dinner at Bronwen’s parents’ place, eat most of Sizzlers, & start using Cloudflare.
Bronwen, Clint & I walk the Coomera Circuit in Lamington National Park, & I eat pancakes & fall sick.
Bronwen and I go to Woodford Folk Festival, where the weather is good for a change, I fall sick, we don’t argue, and overall have a great time.
I go dotty at GoMA, eat chips, pizza & pasta, & attend the work Christmas Party.
I am haircut, there is a lunar eclipse, Bronwen buys me a bike, I go riding & get lost, fall over and damage my laptop, & post my old camera up to Sarah.
A picture breaks, I eat at Coffee Club, buy a Mack Diamond Warranty, drive to Pittsworth with Maz, take starry photos, go-live at work, & watch the lighting of the Mayor’s Christmas tree.
It is Bronwen’s birthday, I make my first ever “Extra Special Birthday Vouchers”, get lots of things from eBay–some of which aren’t broken–& photograph the city.
It is Bronwen and my seventh anniversary. I attempt to change my headlamps, eat curry with Silas, photograph the media centre & my server, give Bronwen flowers, gain a battery grip for my camera, & eat dinner at Caravanserai.
I go to work for the last time, & send my lauded multi-me farewell email.
Bronwen & I drive to Tamborine Mountain for the Tamborine Mountain Scarecrow Festival, & are lucky to survive.
I travel to India, see amazing things, & have an absolutely fantastic time.
I drive to Tamborine Mountain for the Tamborine Mountain Scarecrow Festival, & am bitten by a vampire.
A fifth unsuccessful attempt to get to “The Steamers”, wherein it rains, squalls, & I meet the strongest wind I have ever met.
I get a haircut & don’t die on a cliff, in the dark, trying to find “The Steamers”.
Two torches arrive from eBay, only one of which is broken; it rains & blows, & I go to Tara Thai.
Bronwen has her first day at work, my 18650 batteries and P-Rocket torch arrive, Mack Warranties suck, it rains, & we have dinner with Bronwen’s cousins, Laurence & Valerie.
I am very angry, it storms big, Maz moves to his new place, my laptop is repaired, & we go for a lovely drive.
It rains a lot, my feet hurt, I volunteer at Woodford, argue with Bronwen, & return to Brisbane.
I drive far into the mist, watch F111 jets & fireworks, & squeeze through crowds to eat French food.
I get the wrong phone, then the right phone, & go to Stradbroke.
I fought–then bought–a monitor, fought the media centre, watched Captain America fight, bought some torches & batteries & a fake Wi-Fi card on eBay, fought my netbook, went to Sunday Live, fought Bilharzia, & got fit & stayed thin.
I buy an eight dollar milkshake, find that traffic congestion occurs during peak-hour, eat a fair bit, & go to Cleveland.
I attend Bronwen’s grandfather’s funeral, Classic FM’s Topology, & Cowboys & Aliens.
I watched naked people ride bikes, had a milkshake, and watched “Gilmore Girls”.
My sister is pregnant, I visit College’s Crossing Moonscape, move to Bronwen’s, & find traffic sucks.
I arrive home, Bronwen’s hair goes frizzy, we watch Harry Potter & Transformers, visit Kieran, Maz, Smeagol, buy pizza & a shirt, & visit Camera Tech.
I get a quote for my lens repair, go to Stradbroke Island, trim the hedge, install windscreen wipers & attend Ida’s funeral.
I fix the broken front door, look at cameras, eat cheesecake, go driving, stay up all night, buy tickets to Sydney, & attend Handel’s Solomon at St. John’s Cathedral.
I replace my car mirror, say goodbye to Sabine, show people my rooms, watch Inception, & go to the wreckers.
I buy a netbook, eat Malaysian food, visit the travel doctor, inject diseases, buy a Lumix camera, travel on a bus, & have lunch with Tom.
My Kindle arrives, I visit the dentist, have my last day at work, & nearly die in several road accidents.
I visit Amanda, give notice at work, book flights to Europe, & Bronwen gets a Kindle.
I go to Stradbroke Island, and, unrelatedly, meet Natalie.
There is a huge flood: I evacuate, my house is flooded, & then cleaned.
I cancel things, get in trouble, visit Amanda, & Maz, Kieran, Bunnings, Sunnybank & Govinda’s.
Kieran buys a car; I buy apple juice & reverse into a car. I also visit Stradbroke Island, Pittsworth, work’s Christmas in April, attend TocH, ANZAC Day, see “Fast and Furious”, “X-Men Origins: Wolverine”, my phone fails, & I get toothache.
I drive back to Woodford, go for a swim, eventually get to Nandos & naively go to swim at a flooded College’s Crossing.
I visit the Go Between Bridge, Kara is sick, & my car is re-tired.
I move my things back to my flood damaged house & squat there. I also trim hedges, eat Sizzlers, tacos, curry, & help Maz move.
I drive to Cairns, fly back to Brisbane, drive to Woodford & enjoy the festival.
I win a TV, buy earphones, start designing v3, fall sick, buy 500watt lights, am reviewed & see Harry Potter.
Valerie comes again, It Takes 2 to Tango, I see Clint, “Salt”, & Buderim & Bronwen’s Grandfather.
My car breaks, Eagle Boys suck, I buy U2 tickets, see “Tomorrow, When the War Began”, & see Peter Berner at the Sit Down Comedy Club.
I am threatened, eat pizza, do my tax & work after hours.
I attend “Earthlings”, “Remix”, the West End Markets, several cheap takeaway places, & Bronwen gets a new laptop.
I get hayfever, shoot people with paintballs, & it floods.
I fly to Sydney, look at Sculpture by the Sea, & fly home again.
My horse wins, Amy-jean Tebb & Blaise Jenkin attempt to break in, breaking the door, & the police are called.
I sell an iPhone, buy a laptop, attend the Pittsworth Show, watch “Watchmen”, go to Stradbroke Island, & meet the rejects.
I buy a new car, see “Australia”, setup tent at Woodford, meet Silas & Sam, am embarrassed to be associated with the “No Clean Feed” people, & Stella moves entirely out.
I flash phone ROMs, watch “Titanic”, fight Paypal, visit Paddington Fair, rummage through suitcases & tell the best joke ever.
It rains, I get my car unwarped, fail to climb The Steamers, Lock ‘n’ Load with Kristin, watch “Up in the Air” & have potential flatmates.
I drive to work, fly to Canberra where Maz buys a car, drive back, visit Amanda, & see a movie & eat a lot.
I get a brainstem infection, 20 bread rolls, two LED torches, & there is a lunar eclipse & lots of fire twirling.
I stay up late working, get new flatmates & Bronwen bruises herself.
I am sick, watch The A-Team, meet Sabine’s boyfriend, & am sad when Sabine leaves.
I hurt my eye, see the doctor, argue politics, fall sick with a pressurised head & Valerie returns.
I drive, eat, wreck my mirror, watch Knight & Day, & Sabine returns.
I tour the Clem7 tunnel, & give Bronwen an Apple Notebook.
A teapot dies, I watch Balibo, Samson & Delilah, interview people, & build a perpetual motion machine.
In hindsight, there was a Music Kafe, very few people at work, Sabine arrived home, Bronwen bought surround sound & Valerie, Kara & I went to a nudist beach, after the markets.
I climb the great pyramid amidst apple cider whilst my flatmates sail the oceans, before technical issues cut short my holiday—& regularly my sleep—& I return to work. Then, it’s Kick-Ass.
I’m depressed, dangerous & go to Bunnings. The Earth has an hour, Bronwen & I have Hungry Jacks, attend APT6, drive Kara to the airport, and decide to be positive—not to mention, buying German bread & seeing the doctor about my eye.
I am annoyed at the lack of enforcement of road rules, cut myself on a can, & watch Kara play with Queensland Wind & Brass.
28 kilometres of kayaking, against the tide, through waist deep mud, into 30 knot winds.
I argue about solar power & see “Quantum of Solace”. It rains.
I watch a school hip-hop competition, “Rock’n’Rolla”, “Death Race”, & eat food.
It’s hot. I eat curry, visit Kieran, stay up late & watch for Geminids.
I install CentOS, start hosting my own sites, Maz buys surround speakers, & I suffer IKEA-poisoning & mental degradation due to excess shopping options.
I attend Sunday Live broadcasts, Ian Smith’s Bay Pastel showing, “District 9”, investigate speakers, have an x-ray, drive to Byron Bay, take over from my boss, & visit the Mustang State Concours & Muscle Car Spectacular.
Back in Brisbane again, I go about my daily life, have Kara visit, & watch “Sherlock Holmes”.
I am a fan of light, & my room has high ceilings… so I drove down to Bunning’s, & bought a thirty dollar light bulb.
Bronwen pulls apart computers & Ned has an entire Arnott’s Family Assorted biscuit packet to himself, but fears it may not be enough.
I gain a sore eye, a very rich cheesecake, & two of Germany’s loveliest as flatmates.
Linda and Bill’s Ruby Wedding Anniversary: Mt. Tamborine in the rain: Bushwalking, swimming & mingling.
I attend the ophthalmologist, Umart, curry, rain & pizza.
Ophthalmology, Alice in Wonderland, a kilo of peppermint creams & the St. Patrick’s Day parade, along with a new keyboard for my phone.
I watch “Welcome”, “A Hurt Locker”, & some comedians, before getting a sore throat, calling in sick & driving through the Clem7 tunnel.
I’m furiously angry, filled with quiet, subdued, rage - ironically, not at the police who I failed to evade, but at my work, Bronwen, & Valerie. & it’s all because I was trying to get fit.
I attend ANZAC Day, learn how to train my dragon, & suffer from a pre-midlife crisis.
I hunt green fleas, meet Sabine’s fiancé, watch “The Book of Eli”, clip hedges, brighten my car & see “Ma Baker’s Tonic”, amongst curry puffs, spring rolls & homemade lemonade.
Vector based topographical maps for Android! They’re about 5% of the size of a traditional tiled raster-based map, and from what I’ve seen so far, the data for QLD seems quite good. I’m using Orux Maps with maps from OpenAndroMaps
Do you have a dirty mind? Then perhaps you need some brainwashing?
Do you like propaganda? Wow, me too! So I collected some, and put it in Ned Martin’s Propaganda. Perfect for some late-night brainwashing.
Printed on 100% recycled electrons.