Welcome to my website
I keep a journal, which details in great detail every little detail of my daily life. It’s not always exciting, but does give a good indication of what my life is like, and presumably in turn what I am like.
Newest Journal Entry
Bronwen & I walk to Lower Portals where I get dehydrated, then drive to Rathdowney & have cramps.
Bronwen & I go to Stradbroke Island & Brown Lake.
A brief history of this page
It was a basic welcome page back in v2. v3 started with a newspaper themed welcome page, before adding a tiled background, and finally, expanding on the tiled background, before changing to its current style.
Bronwen & I spend the Australia Day long weekend at Stradbroke Island.
I go to Hogswatch in July, & Bronwen & I go to Acro at Davies Park, Climbing at Kangaroo Point, the James Street Food & Wine Festival, & Slacklining & Acro at New Farm.
I see CC the Cat & the Julia Rose Band at The Motor Room.
It’s where you go for all those hard answers—or if you have a question you need an answer for. www.hardanswers.net
I visit Silas, clean up around the house, & sort through the Europe, Egypt & Africa photos from 2011.
v2 was a very fixed site. Every page, every section, was exactly the same—stylistically speaking—as every other page. It’s still there—go have a look. It was heavily focused on standards compliance, accessibility, and all that jazz. It seemed the “right” way to design a perfectionist’s site back then. Now I’ve moved on. Order in chaos is my current goal.
Bronwen learns to ride motorbikes, I go to the “Take Action for Affordable Housing and Sustainable Development” rally & we both go to Acro at Davies Park Markets.
Bronwen & I go to Slacklining & Acro at New Farm Park & Sunset Gathering at Kangaroo Point.
Bronwen & I go to the House of Fandom Markets & Cosplay, & have drinks at Jeb’s place.
I spend over an hour at the dentist & get a temporary crown.
Bronwen & I go to Knock Off Comedy, the newly moved Motor Room & Boundary Street Markets, & the West End Fire Festival.
Ned Martin’s Amused – Because Someone Has to Be
I believe you can tell a lot about a person from what amuses them, or sometimes, what doesn’t amuse them, so when I come across something that amuses me, I put it on my amused site. Plus it’s a lot of fun.
Find things which have amused me recently, or browse around the categories below.
I go to the endodontist again & have my root canal finished.
Bronwen & I go to Roving Conspiracy at 63 Annerley Road, Wooloongabba.
Bronwen & I go to New Farm Park where we find a soccer game & the slackline & acro crew.
The washing machine breaks, I fix it, & watch Kallidad at The Motor Room.
I fight sugar, go walking, clean my laptop, eat ramen, & pick up the mower from Silas.
Bronwen & I go to Sizzler, watch the slackline & acro crew at New Farm Park, & go to Sunset Gathering at Kangaroo Point.
I find many smelly fungi & Bronwen & I go to Fat Picnic, Miel & Jonathan Sri’s Campaign After-party at The Motor Room.
I drive all over the place to hopefully wrap up my civil dispute, Bronwen & I drop the mower off to Silas & go to Halim’s Indian Taj with him, & my tooth hurts again.
Bronwen & I go orienteering at Mount Coot-Tha, then to Suitcase Rummage in the city & on to New Farm Park where we find the slackline & acro crew.
Bronwen & I watch “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice”, turn coins into money & have dinner at Bronwen’s parents’s place.
Bronwen & I go to Stradbroke Island to escape the Easter chaos on the mainland, & manage to survive.
I go back to the dentist, visit Silas & see “London has Fallen”.
There is an election, & I drive in the toll tunnel by accident. Needless to say, I am very angry.
I go to the endodontist who performs stage one of my root canal, I visit the dentist who removes my wisdom tooth, & I lie in bed in pain and misery.
Bronwen & I have dinner at the Persian Kitchen with Silas, Liza, Morgan & Celeste.
Bronwen & I go to Roving Conspiracy at 42 Mollison Street, eat felafel kebabs, & feed worms.
Bronwen & I go to the World Science Festival. It is not very good & it rains.
Bronwen & I start watching “Avatar: The Last Airbender”, eat dinosaur pasta, go to Knock Off Comedy & Wilsons Lookout, & I install a security camera.
Bronwen & I go to Suitcase Rummage in the city & Slacklining & Acro at New Farm Park.
Bronwen & I watch “Deadpool”, my tooth begins to hurt, & I upgrade the media centre to Kodi Jarvis & connect it to Maz’s NAS.
Bronwen & I drive to the airport to see Maz off on his way to the US, the mower doesn’t start, & we watch slackliners & acro performers at New Farm Park.
I work & help Maz pack, Maz moves out & Bronwen & I go to MZAZA at the Motor Room.
I go to Francy’s Patisserie with Maz, the Vigil for Baby Asha, Slacklining & Acro in New Farm Park with Bronwen, & meet Sarah & Micah at the airport.
I watch the Slackline crew break all their gear setting up a waterline, then go to the Vigil for Baby Asha.
I eat Hanaichi, see Maz a lot, start a new contract, & meet Kieran at Halim’s Indian Taj.
Maz, Chris & I go to Stradbroke Island to take drone footage. Bronwen joins me later & we stay with her parents.
I go for an interview & have a dental check-up.
Bronwen & I go to suitcase rummage, watch the slackline & acro crew at New Farm Park, & then go to Sunset Gathering at Orleigh Park.
Bronwen & I watch the dancers at Rio Rhythmics’ Carnaval in West End, then visit Maz.
I find Brisbane’s most confusing lift & photograph cosplayers at Neon Pop.
I take photos of lightning & Bronwen, Maz & I have curry at Halim’s.
Bronwen & I attend the Eighth Asia Pacific Triennial of Contemporary Art.
Bronwen & I go to the “Invasion Day” rally, the Normanby Hotel’s 1000 Watt Esky Races, & see the Bollywood film “Airlift”.
Bronwen & I discover the Stairway to Knowledge, & watch for trains.
Bronwen & I go to Sizzler, Great Australian Bites, & the West End Fire Festival, where it storms.
Bronwen & I go to a “Free the Nipple” picnic, Roving Conspiracy, watch “The Big Short”, & I meet Silas.
Bronwen & I watch “Suffragette” & “The Dressmaker”, & I continue my attempts to walk up Mount Gravatt every so often.
Bronwen & I attend the Brisbane No Pants Subway Ride.
Bronwen & I get home from Woodford & try to readjust to normality.
Bronwen & I go to Woodford Folk Festival, see many, many things & have a good time.
Bronwen & I set up tent at Woodford, watch the Myer Christmas Parade, take photos of fireworks, & see Star Wars Episode VII.
There are storms, Bronwen & I see “The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2”, watch the lighting of the Lord Mayor’s Christmas Tree, visit some fancy rats, & help Maz install air-conditioning.
Bronwen replaces her phone battery, we eat at Sizzler, & drive to Cedar Creek Falls with Maz.
Bronwen & I watch “Spectre” to celebrate our eleventh anniversary, I surprise Bronwen with a Kindle Voyage for her birthday, hidden in a hollow book which Maz & I make, & I fail to bribe Woodford.
I edit photos, forget to pay my credit card bill, talk to recruiters, eat Mexican & Thai, & plan for a bushwalk.
Bronwen & I drive to Cedar Creek, block Amanda’s toilet, drive to the other Cedar Creek, & unblock Amanda’s toilet.
I finish working, take Amanda to hospital, find out Maz is moving to America, watch an “Anonymous” march, & try to photograph lightning.
Bronwen & I go to a photoshoot, a Jewish festival, the Grass Roots Music Festival, a suitcase rummage, & the Brisbane Zombie Walk.
I drop Maz at the airport, there is cake at work, & Bronwen & I go to Roving Conspiracy & eat bin food at the Greens Gabba Ward Volunteers & Supporters Party.
Bronwen, Maz, a few of his friends, & I go to Stradbroke Island, & I am clever and do not camp.
Bronwen & I go to the first night of the Valley Fiesta.
Bronwen, Maz & I drive to Northbrook Gorges and get wet walking up a creek.
Bronwen, Maz & I go to the Tamborine Mountain Scarecrow Festival.
I go to the dentist, switch to Bronwen’s old phone, Bronwen removes her Mum’s hard drive, & I test it.
My Galaxy Note dies after 3 years, 4 months, 3 weeks, and 5 days.
I make a huge mess, take the cooktop apart, go to a pop-up conspiracy, stay up late, get results from the doctor & watch “The Martian”.
I begin to recover from my laryngitis & Bronwen & I go to the Robowars 2015 Nationals at Ipswich Art Gallery, & Sunset Gathering.
I start to recover & Bronwen & I go to Brisbane Open House.
Bronwen & I go to Miffy’s birthday party, & I get laryngitis.
Maz & I go to the Bris Bricks Lego Expo after Bronwen & I went to Wellington Point instead.
Bronwen & I fall sick, go to West End Fire Festival, eat burritos with Maz, & have a delicious dinner with Bronwen’s folks.
I get my macro tubes & Bronwen & I go and see the projections on The Treasury & watch Riverfire.
I go to the dentist & have my tooth accidentally killed & buy a Sigma 18-35mm f/1.8 DC HSM Art lens.
I pay my car rego, watch “Ant Man”, lose my umbrella cover, shop, eat fruit toast, make focal length graphs, go to the Night Noodle Markets & attend the dentist.
Bronwen & I look around Point Reyes National Seashore & the San Andreas Fault, then drive along California 1 to Fort Bragg, following the scenic coastline.
Bronwen & I drive to Yosemite National Park, find snow, look at Giant Sequoias, spend the night at Oakhurst & drive to Lakeview in Stockton.
Bronwen & I meet Maz, have a look at his place, go see the Golden Gate Bridge, drive into Downtown San Francisco, & go for a walk around some of the more interesting parts of the city.
Bronwen & I drive along Big Sur from Los Angeles to San Francisco, spending the night at Carmel-by-the-Sea.
Bronwen & I look at the Space Shuttle Endeavour at the California Science Centre, stroll around LA, visit Hollywood, Beverly Hills, Venice Beach, Santa Monica & Malibu, & I scratch the car.
Bronwen & I drive to Las Vegas again, then continue on to Los Angeles.
Bronwen & I drive to Hoover Dam, then through Lake Mead Recreation Area to the Valley of Fire State Park.
Bronwen & I drive from the Grand Canyon to Las Vegas, & have a look at “The Strip”.
Bronwen & I drive to Grand Canyon National Park & spend a very cold night in our tent.
Bronwen & I explore Zion National Park, then sleep at Walmart in Page, Arizona.
Bronwen & I drive to Bryce Canyon National Park, walk through many hoodoos, see snow, drive through Zion National Park, & sleep at Springdale.
Bronwen & I drive to Canyonlands National Park, where my knee hurts & there are many canyons.
Bronwen & I drive through New Mexico, along parts of Historic Route 66, past Monument Valley, & through Colorado on our way to Arches National Park in Utah, where we find many, many arches.
Bronwen & I fly to Dallas, Texas, hire a car, & begin our American holiday.
Bronwen & I drive to Tweed Hospital then North Kirra Beach & watch the Australian Surf Life Saving Championships.
Maz makes new poi, I receive fake rubbish from eBay, find malware, quit work, buy an Easter egg, go to Sizzler, Pancake Manor & Indooroopilly, & Bronwen gets business cards, goes to the doctor & fights Tweed Hospital & we see “Furious 7”.
Bronwen & I go to “Natural Bridge Glow Worm Cave” with Maz & Emmi & find glowing mushrooms, I observe “Reclaim Australia” versus the communists, Bronwen & I drive to random jetties & Tom’s Confectionery Warehouse at midnight, go to Leslie Harrison Dam, fight lantana, & meet Clint & Kelly with Maz & Emmi at Mount Ngungun.
Bronwen, Chris, Clint, Emmi, Maz & I go to Stradbroke Island for Maz’s farewell, & only Clint misses the ferry.
Clint, Maz, Emmi & I walk the Coomera Circuit at Binna Burra. Clint falls over many times but does not dislocate his finger.
Bronwen finds out she is to be made redundant & dislocates her finger, we see Chappie, drive to Coolangatta with Maz & Emmi, & walk through the clouds at Springbrook.
Bronwen recaptures worms, we see “Focus”, go to the Vietnam Veteran’s 2015 Bike, Trike and Hot Rod Show, & Maz makes LED poi.
I take photos of water & the Three Worlds Fire Twirling Competition, fight my phone & Cyanogenmod, & Maz returns to Australia.
Bronwen & I go to Roving Conspiracy, buy a new Canon 70D camera, test the camera at Neon Pop, see “Jupiter Ascending”, & Bronwen goes to Q-Ride & postpones buying flights.
Bronwen & I watch “Fifty Shades of Grey”, live through a cyclonic flood, & visit Chinatown for their year of the goat celebrations.
Bronwen & I find miles of VHS tape at “Sublime”, watch “Kingsmen”, I eat a terrible curry & hunt for laptops, we go orienteering & to the Valentine’s Day Busk where a world record is broken, to the Fort Lytton Cosplay Shoot, Recycling Art Competition Exhibition, Suitcase Rummage, Amigurumi Toyland & The Japanese Festival.
Bronwen tries Stretch Hummers on for size, we visit the state library & the museum, and then watch the dancers at Rio Rhythmics’ Carnaval in West End.
I go to Brisbane Free University, The Dentist, Lake Baroon with Clint, West End Fire Festival, The Cinema, & there is an election.
Bronwen feeds snakes, it rains a lot, we go swimming at Cedar Creek Falls, attend the Super-Awesome Greens Supporters Party, go to a photoshoot where my camera doesn’t work, watch Australia Day fireworks, & Bronwen goes in a 1000w Esky Race.
I return to work, Bronwen & I go to Roving Conspiracy, watch “Taken 3”, survive the bull sharks at College’s Crossing, & Bronwen plays with snakes & wins a trip to Dallas.
Bronwen & I test my camera, go to a climbing BBQ, ride the train with pantless people from No Pants Subway Ride & attend the first Sunset Gathering of the year.
Bronwen & I go to Woodford Folk Festival, see many, many things & have a good time.
Bronwen & I go to Stradbroke Island & Island Vibe Festival.
Bronwen & I drive to Queensland Rocketry Society’s Rocket Launch & watch many rockets, then continue to Tamborine Mountain Scarecrow Festival.
I go to the G20 Laws Community Session, learn how to make “little planets”, & Bronwen is sent a bomb.
It is Brisbane Open House weekend so Bronwen & I go see QPAC, Roma St Fire Station, the Law Courts, the Masonic Temple, & the Port of Brisbane, as well as the West End Festival and the Brisbane Kite Festival.
Bronwen & I go to Bris Brick’s Lego Exhibition, The Greens’ “Roving Conspiracy”, & I watch a lunar eclipse & some Diwali celebrations.
Bronwen goes to TedX & I go to the Thai Festival & The Brisbane Zombie Walk, which I survive.
Bronwen’s parents return from Japan, I finish working, & Bronwen & I go to the Spring Hill Alive Festival.
Bronwen & I go to Riverfire, watch jets & helicopters, & trample people & their picnics.
Bronwen & I drive to the Mitchell Creek 2014 Rock ‘n’ Blues Festival, have a great time, & drive home again very tired.
I buy a mousepad. Bronwen wears a hat. Everyone else buys an iPhone.
Bronwen & I drive to Currumbin Beach & The Swell Sculpture Festival & stop at the PNG Independence Day Festival in Beenleigh on the way home.
Bronwen’s parents go to Japan & Bronwen & I go to the Exxopolis luminarium, watch “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”, & battle roaches in “Street Reads”.
I recover from my tooth extraction, Bronwen & I see “Do Do Land” & go to the Kurilpa Derby, & Sizzler.
I eat a cupcake, watch “The Expendables 3”, go to Valley Fiesta & watch Slacklining.
Bronwen & I go to Moonfest & there is a Supermoon. Then we catch Ekka flu & ache.
I ache, watch “Lucy”, break my phone, & Bronwen & I go to the Brunswick St. Mall reopening, listen to City Hall’s Pipe Organ, & go to the colourful Sunset Gathering.
I go to the Hawken Village Street Festival, watch AFL, crazy uni students, & “Guardians Of The Galaxy”, & try to photograph cannons firing at Fort Lytton.
It is Alexandra’s birthday, I drop a hard drive off to Amanda, taps to Bunnings, pay some tax, look at Cosplay people, Hogswatch in July people, St. Brigid’s Church, & find a brush with breasts.
I go to work, the bus is slow & annoying, Bronwen & I go orienteering, & eat lots of things at the Regional Flavours Festival.
Bronwen & I travel India for 2 months. It isn’t the season tourists normally go, because it’s starting to get too hot. To try to make the best of this, & also the best use of our limited time, we fly into Chennai, & head immediately south, travelling through Tamil Nadu.
I clean my car air-filter, look at flights to India & travel insurance, apply for an Indian visa, buy a new camera bag & camera strap, go to Sunset Gathering, get immunised & a sore arm, buy some locks, SD cards & various things for India, fight Citibank, book flights to India, & pack for India!
I rent-a-bomb, photograph cactuses at Mount Coot-Tha Botanic Gardens, watch dancing girls at the Chinese Lunar New Year Celebrations, finish up at work, give the rent-a-bomb back, swim in the peeing pool at Southbank, & Bronwen’s leave is approved.
I go to the “Freedom Rally”, take my car to the RACQ Assessment Centre, & clean my laptop heatsink.
Bronwen & her Dad chop down a tree, I fight ivy & a washing machine, go back to work, eat sushi, move office, watch “47 Ronin”, swim at Cedar Creek, have ear scans at hospital, & am involved in a car accident. Also, a possum comes inside.
Bronwen & I are sick & sleepy, watch “The Desolation of Smaug”, I see a koala, & the rest is about Bronwen’s hair.
Bronwen & I go to Woodford Folk Festival, see many, many things & have a good time.
Bronwen & I watch the Myer Christmas Parade and Pantomim, “American Hustle”, “Enders Game”, & drive lots, seeing many, many Christmas Lights.
I watch “The Spectacular Now”, The Lord Mayor’s Christmas Carols, City Hall’s Light Spectacular, & go to College’s Crossing, which is destroyed.
Bronwen & I rush to Brisbane Zombie Walk, then drink milkshakes with Alexandra.
Bronwen & I drive to Currumbin Beach & The Swell Sculpture Festival & attend UQ’s MBA Information Evening, & I eat lunch with Alexandra & Anne & start exercising, & my ear plays up.
I take my car to the mechanic, who fixes two of the three things wrong with it; Bronwen & I see “Jobs”, go to “Symphony under the Stars” & “Opera at the Riverstage”; & I buy Bronwen a B.
Both Bronwen & I are sick & go to the doctor. We also see “White House Down”, the Brisbane Festival, & SpringFlare Festival of Colours, as well as gardening.
Election 2013: Krishna’s Birthday, The Fire, The Snake, Serbians, The Kurilpa Derby & Alexandra’s Bass Guitar
Bronwen & I go to Krishna’s Birthday, the Serbian Festival, The Kuripla Derby (& squid race), the Sit Down Comedy Club, a few Brisbane Writers Festival events, watch “Red 2”, & Alexandra’s bass arrives; I find a fire & call for help, I find a snake & deal with it, & Abbott (Liberal) beats Rudd (Labor).
I go to several rallies (gay marriage, saving the reef, & fearing chemtrails), see movies (“Now You See Me”, “Elysium” & “The World’s End”), eat very expensive food at The Stokehouse, watch ravers at “Elements in the Park” & dancers at “The Indian Independence Day Festival”, & see Japanese & teddybears at The Botanic Gardens & robots at QUT’s Robotronica, before watching the Glow Run & becoming sick.
Comedy Hypnosis, Ailan Kores, Bastille Day, Sunset Gathering, Thai-ish Food & the Epicurean Festival
Bronwen, Anne, Andy & I go to Anthony Laffan’s “Comedy Hypnosis”, then Bronwen & I watch a (failed) attempt to form the largest trumpet ensemble ever, slackline, drink water, go to The Ailan Kores, Bastille Day, the Sunset Gathering & the Epicurean Festival, endure “Pacific Rim”, eat Thai-ish food, & I save Australia.
Bronwen & I go to Lockyer Powerfest at Lake Dyer where I develop “ouchies” & photograph lots of speedboats, eat at Sizzler, watch “Superman” at South Bank, ogle art at “A Celebration of the Female Form”, watch Dan lose in soccer, visit The Teneriffe Festival, & Bronwen & I watch “The Lone Ranger” but it is broken.
Bronwen & I go to the World Refugee Day Festival, see the “supermoon”, & twirl fire at Moonfest. I catch public transport & take my car to David, go to Sizzler with extreme difficulty, & switch my mobile to TPG. Bronwen recycles batteries at ALDI, I upgrade my phone to ICS, & we both go slacklining & to a fifties-style street party–“Shake the Village”.
Bronwen & I go to “Africa Day” & look at amazing hats, watch Dan play soccer–twice, watch “The Great Gatsby”, go to the Albion Comedy Club with Greg & Kylie & Toowong Cemetry with Sarah, & I help Maz move & pay my speeding fine.
Bronwen & I drive to Greta’s Wedding in Coffs Harbour. It is beautiful. Later, we watch “G.I. Joe Retaliation” & “Oblivion”, & I buy $5 shorts.
It floods again, I build a Propaganda site, & I go to Tom’s Confectionary Warehouse.
Bronwen & I drive to the Gold Coast to look at the “Australian Sand Sculpting Championships”, I start work, & we watch “Cirque du Soleil: Worlds Away”.
I attend interviews & get some work, Maz’s car battery goes flat, & Bronwen & I go to the Daisy Hill Koala Centre.
Bronwen, Maz, Clint & I walk to the base of Mapleton Falls, & Maz & I nearly die.
I build a new media centre, which promptly breaks, prompting me to revisit the harrowing history of my media centre. Bronwen & I also go see “Race 2”–a Bollywood film–& Mettro tells me Ray White have pulled development back in-house.
Bronwen, Maz & I drive to Springbrook & walk the Twin Falls Circuit, which is closed, & then go to Chez Tessa because The Burrito Bar has run out of tacos.
My umbrella is stolen, there is a little storm & half of QLD (including me) loses power, & the media centre dies.
Bronwen & I swim at Southbank, walk through Boondall Wetlands, see many jellyfish, & I have my wheels balanced.
I go back to work, replace the diff in my car, and finish up at Mettro. Bronwen & I watch “Les Miserables”, “The Life of Pi”, Jupiter at Astro Pete’s, & “Gangster Squad”, & we go to Heidi’s Fortieth. Laurie passes away.
Bronwen & I fly to Cairns, drive to Mount Carbine, & watch an amazing solar eclipse with Bronwen’s parents. I then meet Silas & Liza, & fly home.
Bronwen & I go to Sunnybank, The Valley Fiesta, Bogan Bingo, Astro Pete’s, The Diwali Festival, The Brisbane Grass Roots Music Festival, & see “The Intouchables”; Sarah’s laptop arrives, Silas & Liza visit, & I get sick.
I buy 6TB of hard drives for the server & find they can’t be used, go to Sizzler with Bronwen, & Cedar Creek & Cameron Falls with Bronwen & Maz & most of the bogans in the Gold Coast, & see some scarecrows. Then Niall leaves, I meet Clint, & go see Anthony Laffan’s Comedy Hypnosis Show.
Bronwen & I drive to Springbrook, walk the Twin Falls Circuit, & look at Natural Bridge in the day time for a change. I also use the bike carrier for the first time.
Bronwen & I go to Govinda’s, don’t take Natacha to Murwillumbah & instead go to Kondalilla Falls & Alexandria Bay, see a fruit bat and many naked men, & eat a Frenzy for the first time in many years.
Bronwen, Maz & I drive to Springbrook & visit Purling Brook Falls, coming across an upside down 4WD on the way home; Bronwen & I get free mini Dutch pancakes, watch “Looper”, & I cook two-minute noodles.
Bronwen & I attend the Robowars 2012 Nationals, watch Riverfire from the 33rd floor of the Suncorp building, & Bronwen starts a new job.
I go to the West End Block Party, Bronwen & I both go to the Sit Down Comedy Club at the Alexandra Hills Hotel, & Maz, Uzi, Ian, Chris & I drive & ride to the Gold Coast, Byron Bay & Nimbin.
Bronwen & I go to Stradbroke Island, watch the “Straddie Salute” triathlon, “Moonrise Kingdon”, eat chocolate nachos & go to Govinda’s.
Bronwen & I watch the Brisbane Festival opening & Santos City of Lights, drive to Lake Kurwongbah with Maz, walk up Mt. Gravatt, eat pizza, & I am nearly killed by a ferocious shower spider.
Maz, Kate & I drive to Natural Bridge Glow Worm Caves, we all look at Ngoc’s milk boobs, then Ngoc’s icecream boobs, watch “The Expendables 2”, a spider is in my shoe, the police deafen me, I clone my hard drive, & go shoe shopping & visit the new Chez Tessa.
Bronwen & I go to The Korean Multicultural Festival, & climb Flinder’s Peak with Derek, Eric & Robert, I fall sick, Bronwen’s job ends, & wee see off Natacha at The Three Monkeys with Shane and Alexandra, before booking flights to Cairns.
I eat–and photograph–food for a week, go to Pittsworth with Maz, watch “Men in Black 3”, & try a new vegetarian restaurant–The Green Vegetarian Restaurant
I eat chips at Pittsworth, curry in Rosalie, & film the massacre of many Easter Bunnies.
Bronwen & I go to Pittsworth with Maz & Clint, eat birthday cake, & take photographs in the dark.
I go to Stradbroke Island with Bronwen & am attacked by ants, mosquitoes, & gum nuts—but no icebergs.
I run out of milk, go to the Sit Down Comedy Club, eat chips with Clint at Scarborough, shop for shoes & chocolate, watch “The Hunger Games”, attend “Earth Hour”, a suitcase rummage, & buy a Mini Bike Trainer.
Bronwen & I attend Gavin’s funeral, I get toothache & visit the dentist, go to Govinda’s Sunday Feast, & watch “Coriolanus” & “The Rum Diaries”.
Bronwen, Clint, Maz & I go for a wet & misty walk through the leeches along Toolona Creek & Mount Wanungra at O’Reilly’s, & itch for days after.
I get very “me” Birthday Shirts, walk the Gateway Bridge, & eat muffins.
I put more RAM in my laptop, Bronwen’s Dad “retires”, her Aunt & Uncle leave, we laugh at the Sit Down Comedy Club, & watch “Killer Elite”.
Bronwen, Clint & I walk the Coomera Circuit in Lamington National Park, & I eat pancakes & fall sick.
The KGB don’t find me, I fix my car’s central locking, watch “Chronicle” with Clint & “Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy” without him, the water fails, Flash crashes, I redesign my site, & Bronwen & I attend Cam & Christine’s party & a family dinner.
I have some days & nights, attend family dinner at Bronwen’s parents’ place, eat most of Sizzlers, & start using Cloudflare.
It is hot. I fix my car door, watch “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo”, & eat a lot.
I watch “Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows”, eat a late Christmas Lunch at Sizzlers, & go swimming at College’s Crossing.
Bronwen & I go to Woodford Folk Festival, where the weather is good for a change, I fall sick, we don’t argue, & overall have a great time.
I am haircut, there is a lunar eclipse, Bronwen buys me a bike, I go riding & get lost, fall over and damage my laptop, & post my old camera up to Sarah.
I go dotty at GoMA, eat chips, pizza & pasta, & attend the work Christmas Party.
A picture breaks, I eat at Coffee Club, buy a Mack Diamond Warranty, drive to Pittsworth with Maz, take starry photos, go-live at work, & watch the lighting of the Mayor’s Christmas tree.
It is Bronwen’s birthday, I make my first ever “Extra Special Birthday Vouchers”, get lots of things from eBay–some of which aren’t broken–& photograph the city.
It is Bronwen and my seventh anniversary. I attempt to change my headlamps, eat curry with Silas, photograph the media centre & my server, give Bronwen flowers, gain a battery grip for my camera, & eat dinner at Caravanserai.
Bronwen & I go to the Brisbane Zombie Walk, Occupy Brisbane & The Confectionary Warehouse.
Bronwen & I drive to Tamborine Mountain for the Tamborine Mountain Scarecrow Festival, & are lucky to survive.
A fifth unsuccessful attempt to get to “The Steamers”, wherein it rains, squalls, & I meet the strongest wind I have ever met.
Two torches arrive from eBay, only one of which is broken; it rains & blows, & I go to Tara Thai.
Bronwen has her first day at work, my 18650 batteries and P-Rocket torch arrive, Mack Warranties suck, it rains, & we have dinner with Bronwen’s cousins, Laurence & Valerie.
I attend Bronwen’s grandfather’s funeral, Classic FM’s Topology, & Cowboys & Aliens.
I fought–then bought–a monitor, fought the media centre, watched Captain America fight, bought some torches & batteries & a fake Wi-Fi card on eBay, fought my netbook, went to Sunday Live, fought Bilharzia, & got fit & stayed thin.
I get a haircut & don’t die on a cliff, in the dark, trying to find “The Steamers”.
I get a quote for my lens repair, go to Stradbroke Island, trim the hedge, install windscreen wipers & attend Ida’s funeral.
I arrive home, Bronwen’s hair goes frizzy, we watch Harry Potter & Transformers, visit Kieran, Maz, Smeagol, buy pizza & a shirt, & visit Camera Tech.
I buy a netbook, eat Malaysian food, visit the travel doctor, inject diseases, buy a Lumix camera, travel on a bus, & have lunch with Tom.
My Kindle arrives, I visit the dentist, have my last day at work, & nearly die in several road accidents.
I watched naked people ride bikes, had a milkshake, and watched “Gilmore Girls”.
I visit Amanda, give notice at work, book flights to Europe, & Bronwen gets a Kindle.
I am very angry, it storms big, Maz moves to his new place, my laptop is repaired, & we go for a lovely drive.
I go to Stradbroke Island, and, unrelatedly, meet Natalie.
I cancel things, get in trouble, visit Amanda, & Maz, Kieran, Bunnings, Sunnybank & Govinda’s.
I buy an eight dollar milkshake, find that traffic congestion occurs during peak-hour, eat a fair bit, & go to Cleveland.
My sister is pregnant, I visit College’s Crossing Moonscape, move to Bronwen’s, & find traffic sucks.
I move my things back to my flood damaged house & squat there. I also trim hedges, eat Sizzlers, tacos, curry, & help Maz move.
There is a huge flood: I evacuate, my house is flooded, & then cleaned.
I drive back to Woodford, go for a swim, eventually get to Nandos & naively go to swim at a flooded College’s Crossing.
It rains a lot, my feet hurt, I volunteer at Woodford, argue with Bronwen, & return to Brisbane.
I fix the broken front door, look at cameras, eat cheesecake, go driving, stay up all night, buy tickets to Sydney, & attend Handel’s Solomon at St. John’s Cathedral.
My horse wins, Amy & Blaise attempt to break in, breaking the door, & the police are called.
I am threatened, eat pizza, do my tax & work after hours.
Bronwen & I shoot zombies at the Brisbane Zombie Walk, eat Thai, visit Maz, & it storms.
I attend “Earthlings”, “Remix”, the West End Markets, several cheap takeaway places, & Bronwen gets a new laptop.
I get hayfever, shoot people with paintballs, & it floods.
I drive far into the mist, watch F111 jets & fireworks, & squeeze through crowds to eat French food.
My car breaks, Eagle Boys suck, I buy U2 tickets, see “Tomorrow, When the War Began”, & see Peter Berner at the Sit Down Comedy Club.
Valerie comes again, It Takes 2 to Tango, I see Clint, “Salt”, & Buderim & Bronwen’s Grandfather.
I hurt my eye, see the doctor, argue politics, fall sick with a pressurised head & Valerie returns.
I stay up late working, get new flatmates & Bronwen bruises herself.
I replace my car mirror, say goodbye to Sabine, show people my rooms, watch Inception, & go to the wreckers.
I drive, eat, wreck my mirror, watch Knight & Day, & Sabine returns.
I visit the Go Between Bridge, Kara is sick, & my car is re-tired.
A teapot dies, I watch Balibo, Samson & Delilah, interview people, & build a perpetual motion machine.
I get a brainstem infection, 20 bread rolls, two LED torches, & there is a lunar eclipse & lots of fire twirling.
I am sick, watch The A-Team, meet Sabine’s boyfriend, & am sad when Sabine leaves.
I flash phone ROMs, watch “Titanic”, fight Paypal, visit Paddington Fair, rummage through suitcases & tell the best joke ever.
I get the wrong phone, then the right phone, & go to Stradbroke.
I attend ANZAC Day, learn how to train my dragon, & suffer from a pre-midlife crisis.
I hunt green fleas, meet Sabine’s fiancé, watch “The Book of Eli”, clip hedges, brighten my car & see “Ma Baker’s Tonic”, amongst curry puffs, spring rolls & homemade lemonade.
In hindsight, there was a Music Kafe, very few people at work, Sabine arrived home, Bronwen bought surround sound & Valerie, Kara & I went to a nudist beach, after the markets.
I climb the great pyramid amidst apple cider whilst my flatmates sail the oceans, before technical issues cut short my holiday—& regularly my sleep—& I return to work. Then, it’s Kick-Ass.
I’m depressed, dangerous & go to Bunnings. The Earth has an hour, Bronwen & I have Hungry Jacks, attend APT6, drive Kara to the airport, and decide to be positive—not to mention, buying German bread & seeing the doctor about my eye.
I’m furiously angry, filled with quiet, subdued, rage - ironically, not at the police who I failed to evade, but at my work, Bronwen, & Valerie. & it’s all because I was trying to get fit.
I am annoyed at the lack of enforcement of road rules, cut myself on a can, & watch Kara play with Queensland Wind & Brass.
I watch “Welcome”, “A Hurt Locker”, & some comedians, before getting a sore throat, calling in sick & driving through the Clem7 tunnel.
Ophthalmology, Alice in Wonderland, a kilo of peppermint creams & the St. Patrick’s Day parade, along with a new keyboard for my phone.
I attend the ophthalmologist, Umart, curry, rain & pizza.
Linda and Bill’s Ruby Wedding Anniversary: Mt. Tamborine in the rain: Bushwalking, swimming & mingling.
I gain a sore eye, a very rich cheesecake, & two of Germany’s loveliest as flatmates.
Bronwen pulls apart computers & Ned has an entire Arnott’s Family Assorted biscuit packet to himself, but fears it may not be enough.
I am a fan of light, & my room has high ceilings… so I drove down to Bunning’s, & bought a thirty dollar light bulb.
It rains, I get my car unwarped, fail to climb The Steamers, Lock ‘n’ Load with Kristin, watch “Up in the Air” & have potential flatmates.
Back in Brisbane again, I go about my daily life, have Kara visit, & watch “Sherlock Holmes”.
I tour the Clem7 tunnel, & give Bronwen an Apple Notebook.
It’s hot. I eat curry, visit Kieran, stay up late & watch for Geminids.
I attend Sunday Live broadcasts, Ian Smith’s Bay Pastel showing, “District 9”, investigate speakers, have an x-ray, drive to Byron Bay, take over from my boss, & visit the Mustang State Concours & Muscle Car Spectacular.
I win a TV, buy earphones, start designing v3, fall sick, buy 500watt lights, am reviewed & see Harry Potter.
I drive to Tamborine Mountain for the Tamborine Mountain Scarecrow Festival, & am bitten by a vampire.
I install CentOS, start hosting my own sites, Maz buys surround speakers, & I suffer IKEA-poisoning & mental degradation due to excess shopping options.
Kieran buys a car; I buy apple juice & reverse into a car. I also visit Stradbroke Island, Pittsworth, work’s Christmas in April, attend TocH, ANZAC Day, see “Fast and Furious”, “X-Men Origins: Wolverine”, my phone fails, & I get toothache.
I sell an iPhone, buy a laptop, attend the Pittsworth Show, watch “Watchmen”, go to Stradbroke Island, & meet the rejects.
I drive to work, fly to Canberra where Maz buys a car, drive back, visit Amanda, & see a movie & eat a lot.
I drive to Cairns, fly back to Brisbane, drive to Woodford & enjoy the festival.
I buy a new car, see “Australia”, setup tent at Woodford, meet Silas & Sam, am embarrassed to be associated with the “No Clean Feed” people, & Stella moves entirely out.
I argue about solar power & see “Quantum of Solace”. It rains.
28 kilometres of kayaking, against the tide, through waist deep mud, into 30 knot winds.
I watch a school hip-hop competition, “Rock’n’Rolla”, “Death Race”, & eat food.
I fly to Sydney, look at Sculpture by the Sea, & fly home again.
I am hit by a truck, go to hospital, then fly to Cairns & Cooktown.
I photograph Brisbane Zombie Walk. Stella, Grace & Jamie are zombies.
I go to Pittsworth with Bronwen & Maz & execute a laptop. Also, a pleasant bonfire is had.
I go to work for the last time, & send my lauded multi-me farewell email.
I travel to India, see amazing things, & have an absolutely fantastic time.
I buy more RAM, & start using DragonNaturallySpeaking to write a journal…
Do you have a dirty mind? Then perhaps you need some brainwashing?
Do you like propaganda? Wow, me too! So I collected some, and put it in Ned Martin’s Propaganda. Perfect for some late-night brainwashing.
Printed on 100% recycled electrons.