My Last Day at Work | Wed 28th Nov 2007 — Ned Martin’s Dot Org

Wednesday 28th November – My Last Day at Work

My last day at work. Everyone is nicely impressed by my last-day-at-work email, which I stayed up late-ish last night making. Leaving is tinged with sadness, but I'm really too busy to notice—worked nine to five, went home, slept.

Hello Everyone,

It seems it’s customary to send out an email when leaving, so here it is. I’m off to Tasmania for a holiday, then up north to visit with my family for a while, after which I’ll most likely end up back in Brisbane.

I’ve learnt a lot here, had a good time, made some good friends, and hopefully not too many enemies.

I thought I’d finish off with – for those of you who aren’t blessed to be technical consultants – a little insight into what I’ve been doing here over the past year, and for those of you who are, perhaps share a little of what I’ve learnt.

 

As a technical consultant, you will (from left to right) do jobs move jobs from the new queue to the Webtech Escalated queue, monitor servers try to contact TAMs telepathically (because no other way works), and take phone calls argue with other companies’ customers about all sorts of faults we aren’t responsible for.

As a technical consultant, you will (from left to right) do jobs move jobs from the new queue to the Webtech Escalated queue, monitor servers try to contact TAMs telepathically (because no other way works), and take phone calls argue with other companies’ customers about all sorts of faults we aren’t responsible for.

 

You’ll start off wugging at East Brisbane, where everything will fail…

You’ll start off wugging at East Brisbane, where everything will fail…

 

…you’ll be asked to help everyone else, lift heavy boxes, find one missing tape amongst thousands; it will either be very hot, or very cold…

…you’ll be asked to help everyone else, lift heavy boxes, find one missing tape amongst thousands; it will either be very hot, or very cold…

 

…and you’ll end up strange.

…and you’ll end up strange.

 

Then you’ll be sent to the fishbowl. It’s cold, noisy, and you’ll get in all sorts of trouble if you leave the floor-tile-lifter-thing where I left it. Ear-piercing alarms will sound as soon as you make the mistake of gathering your thoughts.

Then you’ll be sent to the fishbowl. It’s cold, noisy, and you’ll get in all sorts of trouble if you leave the floor-tile-lifter-thing where I left it. Ear-piercing alarms will sound as soon as you make the mistake of gathering your thoughts.

 

Then you’ll go back downstairs, where you’ll alternate between solving problems…

Then you’ll go back downstairs, where you’ll alternate between solving problems…

 

…and talking to customers.

…and talking to customers.

 

Sometimes there’s a brief respite…

Sometimes there’s a brief respite…

 

…but usually it’ll be extremely busy.

…but usually it’ll be extremely busy.

 

Sometimes, something* fails. You should call in sick on those days.

Sometimes, something fails. You should call in sick on those days.
* The mail platform.

 

But luckily, there’s always Milo and coffee.

But luckily, there’s always Milo and coffee.

 

As demonstrated by Ryan*, Milo consumption is directly related to work performance.

As demonstrated by Ryan, Milo consumption is directly related to work performance.
* Ryan may not be normal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

While it may seem like the perfect job, after much consideration…

While it may seem like the perfect job, after much consideration…

 

I have decided to call it a day.

Six Ned, working hard…and then there were five…and then there were four…and then there were three…and then there were two…and then there was one…and then there were noneDarkness

 

 

 

Thanks for all the good times.

For those of you who want to keep in touch, this is my email address.

I’ve MSN, IRC, Facebook, and various other geeky personas. Email if interested.

 

Printed on 100% recycled electrons.
http://nedmartin.org/

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