Cedar Creek and the Toilet | Sat 7th to Sun 8th Nov 2015 — Ned Martin’s Dot Org

Saturday 7th November – Cedar Creek & the Toilet

The Sleep

One of the problems with being incredibly intelligent is that I’m often sleepy. To fix this, I slept in for ages.

Cedar Creek (D'Aguilar National Park)

Having eventually woken, I drove to Woolworths without my wallet, to buy bread and dip to take to Cedar Creek (the D’Aguilar National Park one, not the Mount Tamborine one—that’s tomorrow). This nearly killed me, because it was about three trillion degrees outside, and I only discovered I hadn’t brought my wallet after I turned off the car (and hence it’s air-conditioning) and had to wait while Bronwen counted through my spare change to see if I’d have enough money to buy food—food which would be entirely pointless, because we’d both be dead and burnt to a crisp.

As it turned out, my clever pre-planning (where I throw all my spare change into something so as to never see it again) was enough to buy not only bread and dip, but even guava juice and a large iced coffee. All stocked up on the important essentials, we dropped past home again to pick up my wallet, and then drove the 45 minute or so drive out to Cedar Creek—where I again found that I’d forgot my wallet.

Cedar Creek is confusing. There’s a closed gate, covered in “No Entry” signs, and a fairly well worn track down by the creek, which goes past another sign which says you shan’t walk along the creek. We went for a bit of a wander along the creek and Bronwen ate some chips while I took a few photos, before bumping into a small crowd of people coming out the “No Entry” gate, who told us that the best way to the waterfall was to enter through the gate, and continue until the orange house.

The Orange House

Bronwen and I walked up a really steep road, past several more “No Entry” signs and through another gate, until we came to an orange house. After going a little bit further (and still very steeply up), we decided that we were now closer to heaven than the waterfall, and turned around. Due to the aforementioned excessive heat and almost certain death, I was not entirely happy at this stage, but fortunately Bronwen insisted that we walk down a random track for no apparent reason. Strangely, at the other end, we found three hippies, a cute couple picnicking, and a waterfall. Hallelujah! We were saved.

I quietly sweated some more, took a few photos of the waterfall, and went for a swim—which took me from perilously close to death from heat to perilously close to death from cold quite literally instantly. I suppose if you want to be pedantic about it, there must have been an immeasurably small period of time in-between where I was the perfect temperature.

The Blocking of the Toilet

After our swim—and as ominous clouds, loud thunder, and teeth-chattering cold combined their forces in readiness to remind us that we were only mere mortals, but here for a short time, and probably just to feed the omnipresent march flies—we made our way back to the car and raced the storm to Amanda’s.

Amanda, who recently had a fight with a horse and now wears a moon boot and can’t drive, made us a nice cup of tea with mysterious spicy things in it, and then Bronwen went and blocked her toilet*. This was very embarrassing, plus we had finished drinking our tea, so we drove home.

* Bronwen believes the toilet was already blocked, but that doesn’t fit the narrative, and as we’re team players, the narrative always wins.

Cedar Creek (D'Aguilar National Park)Bronwen in her own special worldBronwen eats chipsAbsolutely not. None. Not even any. Go away.Cedar CreekA small waterfall on Cedar CreekThe larger waterfall on Cedar CreekCedar Creek demonstrating the effects of gravityThe swimming hole we didn’t drown inThe sign which may have said important thingsCedar Creek Falls (intentionally)One Bronwen placed into falls for scale

Sunday 8th November – Cedar Creek Falls, Toilets & Gnocchi

Cedar Creek Falls (Mount Tamborine)

The day started early, with Bronwen and I getting up at seven o’clock, to drink iced coffee and drive to Cedar Creek Falls (the Mount Tamborine one) by half past eight to go to a photoshoot and a swim. We met a few photographers in the car park, then headed down to the waterfall where we met another photographer—and shortly after, a model. Strangely, we never saw the photographers from the car park again.

The falls were quiet—all the getting up early had worked and we were the only people there. I took a few photos of the waterfalls and then pretended I was all professional and took photos of Bronwen and the other model, Shandina, and then three hundred or so scouts arrived. This somewhat ruined the no one else being here thing, but we went for a wander to a more secluded (i.e. not technically possible to get to) waterfall slightly further up the creek, then took a few photos in a grassed area, before going for a swim and finding the water was very cold.


After recovering from my swim, we drove back to Brisbane and went to Nandos with Maz, then drove to Bunnings to buy toilet-unblocking things.

Toilet Unblocking

All stocked up on toilet unblocking things, we drove out to Amanda’s (who—presumably in a bid to avoid ever having to unblock a toilet—has now managed to hurt her other foot as well, and is wearing two moon boots), where Bronwen plunged the toilet lots of times—and discovered that the glamorous plumber’s life is really not as glamorous as it’s been made out to be. Nevertheless, after much goading and singing of rowing songs, I managed to make her successful—proving that not only can anyone be a plumber, but that the most important part of any job is the telling the other person how to do it part.

Kookaburra Café

Having successfully unblocked the toilet, we celebrated with a cup of tea, before continuing the celebrations by driving to Kookaburra Café, where we had a vanilla thickshake (for Ned), veggie lasagne (for Ned) and pumpkin gnocchi with blue cheese sauce (for Ned), which Ned thoughtfully shared with Bronwen.

Cedar Creek before anyone arrivesCedar Creek falls before anyone arrivesCedar Creek Falls before the scoutsBronwen excited to find that I am hereBronwen careful not to hit her head on the top of the photoBronwen concerned there may be a waterfall behind herBronwen happy after deciding there is not a waterfall behind herBronwen runs toBronwen runs froBronwen runs to, againBronwen tired from running to & froBronwen insisting that gravity doesn’t apply at waterfallsShandina & Bronwen surprised to find a photographer is at their waterfallBronwen & Shandina start the complex water-entry procedure one foot at a timeThe scouts begin to arriveShandina & Bronwen talking about thingsShandina discovers there is a photographer behind her, while Bronwen remains blissfully unawareBronwen discovers there is a waterfallBronwen wondering where her computer has goneShandina pretending not to be coldSome of the scouts who invaded everythingShandina insisting the rocks are comfortableShandina assuring me it is not cold in the waterBronwen explaining how waterfalls work using only interpretative danceBronwen and Shandina pretend it isn’t coldBronwen does the special Cedar Creek gang signBronwen lying down in case of earthquakesBronwen looking up to find out where the waterfall comes fromBronwen testing to see if the rock is as comfortable as a mattressBronwen thinks about the stock marketBronwen unaware she is in the waterBronwen testing if the water is wetBronwen testing if the water is wet when even before it hits the waterBronwen pretends she is not coldBronwen checks for toe nibblersIan photographs Shandina & BronwenShandina & Bronwen demand to be fedBronwen tickles a treeBronwen walks with her legsOne of Amanda’s cockatoosBronwen is excited to be successfulBronwen, pumpkin gnocchi with blue cheese sauce, vegetable lasagne, and the remains of a vanilla thickshakeBronwen hurting gnocchiSteve giving Bronwen Brisbane’s biggest pizza box. Useful as a costume party outfit, we’re told.