Maz’s Farewell

Friday 27th March – Stradbroke Island

Ferry to Stradbroke Island

Today was Bronwen’s last day at work, and we had planned to go to Stradbroke Island early tomorrow morning, however in the early evening, and shortly after I had got a message from Maz saying that his Mum was heading to his place and they were planning to catch the next ferry to Stradbroke Island, I got a message from Bronwen saying she’d finished at work and could I come and get her.

It wasn’t going to be possible for us to make the next Stradbroke ferry, but it also wasn’t going to be possible for Maz to, so through a combination of both strong and weak atomic forces and internal combustion I managed to drive to Bronwen’s work, get Bronwen, drive home, pack, and drive to Cleveland—all before the ferry after the ferry Maz had planned to catch.

Bronwen and I parked and rushed to the ferry. We weren’t sure if Maz or Maz’s Mum was actually there, but we did know that Maz’s Mum had a white dual-cab 4WD, and there was only one white dual-cab 4WD that I could see, just about to drive onto the ferry. We ran up to it and jumped in—quite literally as Maz’s Mum began to drive onto the ferry.

We thought this was as close as you could get to missing the ferry without actually missing it, until we discovered that Maz—who we’d assumed had missed the ferry because they’d started the ferry engines and were moving off and he still hadn’t arrived—arrived. Being on a motorbike, he’d apparently managed to “push very close to the speed limit” and go twice as fast as all the cars on his way there, and they’d seen him coming at the ferry and left a ramp down for him to ride on.

The Shed

Maz’s Mum dropped Bronwen and I off at “The Shed”, which we opened and unpacked a little, before heading down to the house that everyone had rented—just across the road from Bob’s Shop.

We had chips for dinner.

Saturday 28th March – Clint & Chris

Clint & Chris Arrive

Clint and Chris (and his daughter) arrived sometime in the morning, and we all did beach-y and island-y things for the rest of the day, and tested the poi Maz had made Emmi when it got dark. The night’s festivities included testing whether cheap raspberry soft drink was distinguishable from brand-name raspberry soft drink. As it turns out, one tastes a bit like raspberries, and the other tastes like “red”. We all stayed up late.

Sunday 29th March – Dawsey Closes Main Beach


Maz’s Mum left in the morning, Chris left early in the afternoon, and Bronwen—who has a one-day contract tomorrow—left later in the afternoon, after spending most of the day doing more beach-y and island-y things such as watching dolphins, turtles, sunbathers, rocks, shells, waves, and chips—as well as climbing over fences (because they’d shut the walkway around Whale Rock, where they appear to be building more raised walkways), running down sand dunes (because erosion takes thousands of years if left to nature), and finding that Dawsey had closed Main Beach (because, just like custard, “it looks nice on the surface, but is really deadly”).


I stayed on after Bronwen left, moving down to the house with Clint, Maz and Emmi. Due to the lack of Bronwen, I had to forage for myself—but surprisingly, I survived.

Monday 30th March – Incredibly Early

Incredibly Early in the Morning

Clint and I went for a swim so early not even the sharks had woken up. Clint managed to put waves in one of his ears which broke him and made him walk funny, and I managed to put the sharp pointy part of a wave in my eye, which stopped me from seeing from it and made everything look flat and one-dimensional, like modern music. Maz and Emmi, who had wisely stayed at the house, weren’t broken at all.

We cleaned the house, ate some breakfast, recovered from our injuries, and left. Clint and I caught the bus back to Dunwich, and from there caught the Gold Cat back to the mainland, while Maz and Emmi rode off into the distance on a motorbike.

Clint dropped me at Bronwen’s parents’ place, where Bronwen had left my car, and drove most of the way back to his parents’ place up the coast before his car malfunctioned, or as one expert said, “My car started to make frightening sounds and drank four litres of coolant. I made it home using the power of Mt Franklin but assume it’s blown a head gasket or something”.


I recovered from my attempts at Bronwen-less foraging on Stradbroke by buying a lasagne from Pasta Pantry in Rosalie and going to Cold Rock, who have wasabi peas as a mix-in for the mentally deranged.

Passing one of the Stradbroke Island ferries “The Shed” Eating dinner on the first night Seashells at one of the popular shark nests Shells on the bottom of a rock pool Artistic rock formations More artistic rock formations Artistic water foam Artistic shark eggs Sun setting over a secluded shark nest A lone flying animal watches the sharks Emmi swings things Maz swings things Emmi swings things more so than before Maz testing which raspberry drink is more raspberry A scenic and suspiciously empty shark nest A turtle can be seen braving the sharks A large school of sharks pretending to be dolphins The longest shark nest on Stradbroke “It looks nice on the surface but is really deadly” – Dawsey, 2015 Stradbroke’s largest shark nest is closed Getting married in the Redlands? Thousands of sharks can be imagined just below the pretty surface Bronwen & Clint run from sharks while Emmi freezes in panic The bunker we hid from the sharks in Emergency shark doors and shark railings were fitted throughout After Bronwen left, Ned had to fend for himself Back on the mainland, Ned found pre-fendered food Rosalie Cold Rock: wasabi peas and ice cream probably do not mix

Tuesday 31st March – Work


I drove in to work, and worked. I had Subway for lunch. I drove home again. Traffic was bad.


Bronwen and I drove down to Woolworths—which is even worse than usual, due to their ongoing refurbishment. I think we should put in some effort to boycott them and shop at Coles and ALDI instead.

In what has to be one of the sneakiest heists this century……while we were looking out for grapes, someone stole all the ice cream

Wednesday 1st April – Sizzler


As neither Bronwen nor I are working at the moment, we had a lazy morning, and then headed to Toowong Sizzler for a late breakfast/lunch.


After eating too much, we drove to Bronwen’s parents’ place, where we had dinner.

Thursday 2nd April – American Diner


It rained on and off all day.


Bronwen and I drove over to Maz’s, where we had dinner at a nearby American Diner with Emmi the American, and stayed up late.

Bronwen, Maz & Emmi eat pseudo-American food