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Year View| Summary| Highlights| Month View| Saturday 24 August 2002 (Day View)

24.08.2002Saturday 24 August

I woke up early for a change. Malarchy has been missing for a few days now. It’s starting to look as though he may not be coming back. He just disappeared and hasn’t been seen since.
I started to pack my stuff up for hospital. I don’t need much. A few changes of clothes and some personal hygiene gear.
I’m pretty scared.
  I’ve already had almost unbearable agony, being slowly sliced open, the doctor pressing her whole weight onto the blade to slice through the muscular wall and through my ribcage to place a chest tube – with no anaesthetic. They stuffed up. It was unbearably painful to move, so I was immobile for nearly three weeks. My lung began to fill with fluid so I had to be airlifted to Cairns hospital, as Cooktown don’t have a suction unit. I was on suction in Cairns, unable to move for nearly two weeks. I’ve had another two collapses since then, neither of which required any treatment but which have now caused me to apply for surgery.
  I’m quite scared. The recovery period after the general anaesthetic wears off is often nothing more than sheer agony. Stories abound of people stuck for weeks on morphine drips, and then the surgery being ultimately unsuccessful anyhow. I guess tomorrow night is going to be even scarier. I was going to write a “worst case scenario” letter and leave it under my bed, telling my parents after we’d left, just in case anything went seriously wrong, but I don’t think I can do it now.

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